Episode 8 HH: Gory Games

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# Better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games! #

Hello, and welcome to Gory Games

with me, Dave Lamb.

And with...

Rattus Rattus. Rattus, are you OK?

Oh, Dave, I'm feeling a bit giddy.

I was sniffing around something really cheesy

and I was overcome by the fumes and nearly passed out!

What was it - out-of-date Brie or something?

No...one of your running shoes!

RATTUS GUFFAWS

Yeah, ha-ha, very funny(!)

Let's just meet today's Horrible Historians, shall we?

Hi! I'm James, and I'm from London.

Hello, James.

Hey! I'm Ash, and I'm also from London.

Hello, Ash!

Yo! It's me, Callum, and I come from Leighton Buzzard!

Yo, Callum!

Welcome, everyone.

And you can play along at home too, using the Gory Games app.

-If you haven't got it yet, check out the CBBC website.

-Right.

You lot are playing to win Year Spheres.

At the end of the show, the person with the highest year score

will win a historical artefact

that wouldn't look out of place in the British Museum.

Or, more precisely, in the skip out the back of the British Museum.

What's Round One?

Let's go over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day.

So, four questions on the Victorians coming up.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

And your four Victorian topics are...

So, Callum, you get to pick first in this opening round.

-What would you like?

-Can I have Stuntmen, please?

Now, prepare yourself, Rattus,

because this is a question from Death!

True or false?

Bobby Leach was a famous Victorian stuntman

who died going over the Niagara Falls in a metal barrel.

Bobby Leach was a famous Victorian stuntman

who died going over the Niagara Falls in a metal barrel.

Is that true or false? Show me your answers now, please.

Bang! Everyone's gone for false.

Let's find out if they're all right or all wrong.

It's...

false!

He survived the barrel drop,

but died years later when he slipped on an orange peel,

broke his leg and died of gangrene!

What a lemon!

Yes, it's a shame to see a "man go" like that!

Mango!

I should have said that!

You're slipping! Congratulations, everybody.

That's a point apiece.

Ash, your turn to pick a topic.

Um, Queen Victoria, please.

True or false?

At Queen Victoria's coronation,

the archbishop lost the coronation ring.

Is that true or false?

Show me your answers now, please.

Callum and Ash agreeing with true.

James thinks it's false.

What's the answer, please?

It's false.

He didn't lose the ring, but he did place it on the wrong finger

and it caused Queen Victoria an awful lot of pain to get it off.

James, congratulations. That's an extra point to you.

And it is your turn to pick a topic.

Please may I have Gadgets?

And that, James, is a prop question.

Prop question, prop question, prop question!

Rattus, you've booby-trapped two of the prop cupboards, haven't you?

Yes, Dave.

-You're my friend, right?

-Yes, Dave.

-And you wouldn't want me to get hurt, would you?

-No, Dave.

So which cupboard is the prop in?

-The top cupboard, Dave.

-OK.

Thank you, Rattus. I trust you.

Crikey!

Why, Rattus?!

It's like an illness, Dave!

I'm a prankster!

Rattus, just tell me which cupboard it's in.

It's in the bottom cupboard.

So, clearly then, the middle cupboard.

Yes, here we are.

At last, the prop.

No thanks to Rattus Rattus.

Here's the prop. Have a good look at it.

True or false? This was a belt worn by Victorian hunters,

designed to carry dead pheasants.

So, you had a look - what do you think?

Is that true or false?

Everybody's gone for true,

and I can tell you it is true.

You're all right.

Congratulations, everybody. That's a point apiece.

So, with one question left in this round,

you're all still very much in it.

Here comes that final question, and it's on Alfred Nobel.

True or false?

Famous Swedish scientist Alfred Nobel

is today remembered for the Nobel Peace Prize,

but he actually invented dynamite.

So, what do you think? True or false?

Show me now, please.

Everybody's gone for true.

Are they all right or all wrong?

Let's find out.

It's true.

To be fair, Nobel invented dynamite for mining,

but it was still used for war as well.

So he invented the Peace Prize to make up for it.

Congratulations. That's a point, everybody.

Well done.

And at the end of that round, with a maximum score,

James is the winner of the first Year Sphere.

And it's time for me to say...

all hail the Potty Pyramid.

ANGELIC CHOIR

James, help yourself to a Year Sphere.

Pick carefully, because AD dates will be added to your score,

but BC dates will be subtracted from it.

So, winning the Victorian quiz

means that James is automatically through to play

the Victorian game.

But will he be alone or will everyone get to play?

Let's find out, shall we?

It's a Single Player Scary Game.

So, take a deep breath, James,

and get down that Time Sewer.

Bye!

During the Industrial Revolution, children had to do things

even more horrible than appearing on this show.

They'd have to work in noisy factories

that were so dangerous, you didn't always go home with as many fingers

as you'd arrived with.

It's time to play...

Your challenge is to make your way through the factory machinery,

find the four lost fingers,

scramble back through the machinery

and put the fingers back onto the hand.

Succeed within the time limit

and I'll "hand" you

another Year Sphere.

And your shift starts...now!

HOOTER BLARES

He starts off through the mangly-type thing.

Lovely duck and roll there.

Lovely!

I wonder if he's in the forces?

I think he could be.

He seemed to have rolled very nicely.

There's the first finger.

He's got to take these bars out

to try and release the finger.

He seems to be doing it extremely well.

Right in there, with no hesitation.

He's going to have that digit in no time.

If we hadn't had a good shot

of his fingers at the start,

I'd be checking to see

if he'd lost some in the past,

so good is he at retrieving them.

And now he goes through this loom.

There he goes.

Now, he's got to bring this down on a chain.

The key here is speed, Rattus.

It certainly is.

You've got to ratchet that chain round

at a heck of a lick.

The other way is to try and leap up

and knock the finger out,

which seems to be what James is trying to do.

And he's doing it successfully!

That's not cheating for me -

that is invention,

and the Victorians were all about invention, Rattus.

So I say well played. Look out! Here comes the factory owner.

Hurry!

Hurry up!

Hurry!

What a nasty man, Rattus.

How would you like it

if while you were commentating,

I just went, "Hurry up"?

"Hurry!"

I'll stop before I'm bitten.

James is onto his third finger.

-He's got it!

-He's very good.

He knows when the finger is freed enough,

and he just dives in and yanks it out.

Now in one of these sacks is the last remaining finger.

He's got it!

Will he get through the mangle with them? No.

He'll need to put them... Very clever.

He's problem-solving as he goes.

30 seconds remaining.

He got those fingers through the loom.

All he has to do is put the fingers on.

Forefinger, boom.

Middle finger...

Twang!

Little finger - interesting.

And ring finger.

CHEERING

High-five, James - you've won the game!

Well done, James. Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

Well done, fella. Very good work.

That's two Year Spheres already gathered. Excellent.

And we are onto Round Two.

To find out what's up next, it's back over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Awful Egyptians.

Four questions again, and your four all-important topics are...

So, Ash, your turn to pick first this time.

Can I have Tutankhamen, please?

Here's what I want to know.

So, at what age did Tutankhamun become Pharaoh?

Was it...

Let's have those answers, please.

Everyone in total agreement. They've gone for B.

Let's find out what the answer is.

Well, I can tell you

the answer is...

B.

Tutankhamen became Pharaoh aged just nine years old.

Cor! A nine-year-old in charge of the country. Imagine that!

Yay!

You've all done superbly well. You've all got a point.

One...two...three.

It's your turn to pick a topic, James.

Um...can I have Egyptian Gods, please?

The Egyptian sun god was called Ra.

But what did the Egyptians call themselves?

So, what do you think?

Was it A, B or C?

They've all gone for A. Let's find out

if they're all right or all wrong.

The answer is A - the cattle of Ra.

Yes, we're all cows,

though I have fewer flies buzzing around my backside.

-BZZZZZZZ!

-I hope.

Excellent. Well, maximum points in this round so far.

This is very, very exciting.

Callum, it's your turn to pick.

Buildings, please.

In ancient Egypt,

what was the so-called "beautiful house"?

Was it A - Queen Cleopatra's beauty salon,

B - King Ramesses II's Golden Palace

or C - the place where dead bodies were turned into mummies?

What do you think? Is it A. B or C?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Total split!

All three possible answers given.

Let's find out who is right.

The answer is...

C.

It's the place where dead bodies

were turned into mummies.

-Oh, no!

-Superb work.

One question left in this round,

and it's on Cures.

That question is from Rattus Rattus.

What was the Egyptian cure for baldness?

Was it A - to drink blood from a dead lion,

B - rub crushed bat's ears and viper's oil on your head,

or C - swim naked in the Nile and then wash in goat's wee?

Thank you, Rattus.

So, what do you guys think?

Is it A, B or C?

They've all gone for B.

What's the answer, Rattus?

It makes it tenser and tenser, because the answer

is indeed B -

rub crushed bat's ears and viper's oil your head.

Crazy, of course,

but still worth a try, Dave.

I don't know what you mean.

How dare you!

That is a point apiece.

He has yet to get a question wrong.

Superb effort, James. Help yourself to another Year Sphere.

OK, James, as the winner of the Egyptian quiz,

you're through to play the Egyptian game.

But will you play on your own or will the others join in with you?

Let's find out.

It's an All Play Brainy Game.

Come on, everyone, get down that Time Sewer.

Lead them off, James.

See you, Rattus!

Laters, potatoes!

Laters, potatoes, indeed.

The average Egyptian pyramid weighs 5.4 million tonnes.

Fortunately, our pyramids are a lot lighter.

It's time to play...

Ten blocks. Your challenge -

to work out which block goes where.

First to finish their pyramid in the time limit

wins the Year Sphere.

So ready, steady...

get building!

HOOTER BLARES

And off they go.

Very important to get your foundations right here.

Foundations is everything, Dave.

If you get the base wrong,

you're stumped for the rest of the game.

In the past, we've given them the base layer of the pyramid,

but this time round, we're not doing that

and that is going to hamper James considerably,

because what he achieved there

is to put his first piece down upside down.

It is indeed upside down, Dave.

If you look at Ash's base,

you'll see what James actually needs to do

is flip that piece over.

Ash has made a flying start.

The base already beautifully lined up.

And so too Callum - look at that.

Callum's even started the first floor of his pyramid.

So it's really tight here between brown and green.

James, I think... Well, he's a bit of a non-starter,

because he's got his base layer upside down

and with the best will in the world,

you're not going to get any mummies under that.

So there's Callum on his second floor.

He's doing very well. They all are,

lifting these heavy pieces of stone.

Very strong contestants we've got.

Ash has done the first floor.

This is terrific pyramid-building.

I think a future career in architecture

beckons for Ash,

because she's knocked up this pyramid

in super-quick time.

Terrific work.

Callum doing equally well.

Fair play to James -

he's got the shape right. It's just upside down!

RATTUS CHUCKLES

I've got a cheeky little factoid here for you, Rattus.

Egyptian pyramid-builders

were paid in radishes and garlic.

If only the prize on offer

at the end of this show was as good, Rattus.

No, it's a billion times better.

As if! Whatevs!

Look at this.

Ash has finished the second floor.

Just two floors remaining.

There's another piece going on.

I think this is all over, Rattus. She's very, very canny.

Just the point required...

And there's the point!

Ash wins the game.

It's dance time.

Very good stuff.

Help yourself to a Year Sphere, Ash.

Right, Round Three, and it's over to the Gory Grid

to find out what's up next.

It's the Terrible Tudors.

Four questions, as always, and here are your four Tudor topics.

James, your turn to lead off this time. What's it going to be?

Please may I have Sport?

Is this true or false?

So, in 1540 Henry VIII banned football

because it was injuring too many men

who were needed for the English army. Is that true or false?

Let's see your answers, please.

Callum and Ash have gone for false.

James on his own with true.

Let's find out what the answer is.

The answer is...it's...

true.

Now, football was a vicious sport in Tudor times.

There were no rules.

Congratulations, James.

Nine points out of nine now for you.

Extraordinary. Callum, your turn to choose a topic.

Can I have Nicknames, please?

True or false?

I like to give my close friends nicknames,

and gave my French friend, the Duke d'Alencon,

the nickname Frog.

So, what do you think?

Is that true or false?

Everybody's gone for true.

Let's find out if they're right or wrong.

It's true.

I called him Frog

because he looked a bit like a frog!

How brilliantly witty!

OK, that's a point to everyone.

Excellent stuff.

Ash, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Punishments, please.

True or false?

The Tudor punishment for a man who had poisoned another man

was to be crushed under a stone.

Could that possibly be true?

Show me you answers now, please.

Everybody in total agreement.

They've all gone for false.

What's the answer, please, Your Maj?

It's false.

You would be boiled in water or lead.

My father, Henry VIII,

once had a kitchen cook boiled alive

just for poisoning his dinner guests.

Only the one cook was boiled, though, of course,

because, Rattus,

too many cooks would have spoiled the broth!

RATTUS SIGHS DEEPLY

That went very well.

A point for everybody.

Well done, well done, well done.

The final question is on Baths.

True or false?

I like to take four baths a year.

Four baths a year. Is that true or false?

Everyone's gone for true.

What's the answer, please?

It's true.

I took four baths a year.

It's an awful lot, I know.

Four more than me.

And don't I know it.

Well, stupendous scoring!

A point for everyone.

Callum and Ash, you've done brilliantly in these quizzes,

but James has not got a single question wrong.

I'm going to applaud him as he goes forward to collect his Year Sphere.

I think we all are. The whole studio's on its feet.

We've never seen anything like this before.

OK, James, you've won the Tudor quiz,

so you are through to play the Tudor game.

But will you be playing alone, or will the others be joining you?

Let's find out.

It's a Single Play Brainy Game.

So, James, you know the way by now.

Back down that Time Sewer.

-Bye!

-Bye!

-Bye!

William Shakespeare was a very...

I'll introduce this one, funny-shirted man.

Yes, all right then, Ma'am.

I was a fan of William Shakespeare.

I was also a fan of a good put-down,

and his plays are littered with them.

But can you tell the difference

between an insult invented by history's greatest playwright

and history's stinkiest rodent?

It's time for...

So, you have eight insults.

Your challenge -

to work out which five were actually made up by William Shakespeare.

Choose five insults

and move them to the board.

Then touch the Hamlet skull

to find out how many you've got right.

You can keep trying new combinations

until you get all five correct,

but you've got to be quick about it,

as you're against the clock

and your time starts...now!

HOOTER BLARES

What he's got to do here is pick out the genuine Shakespearean insults -

there's five of them -

and separate them from your three insults, Rattus.

Let's see what he's doing here.

He's gone for horseback-breaker.

By the way, James can't hear these sound effects -

they're just for you at home.

Bed-presser.

That sounds Shakespearean to me. I like that.

And swaggering rascal.

SHRIEKING

You have four correct.

So what's coming off?

Swaggering rascal comes off.

And he replaces it with billowing burp toad.

SHRIEKING

You have three correct.

Only three correct, so that one wasn't right.

Let's see what James does next.

Swaggering rascal's back.

And a new one - melodious stink whistle.

SHRIEKING

You have two correct.

Come on, James, don't be a bumbailey.

Dave, I think bumbailey

is probably the funniest word

I have ever heard in my life!

You did say that yesterday

about Jacuzzi.

Jacuzzi!

You have four correct.

RATTUS LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

It's still got him.

SHRIEKING

You have four correct.

Four correct now,

but time is running out.

30 seconds remaining.

SHRIEKING

You have three correct.

I'm not sure about James's technique here.

If you're moving more than one at a time,

you have no way of knowing whether what you've moved

has made an impact

on the game.

You have four correct.

Four correct again. He's so close.

SHRIEKING

You have three correct.

James getting himself into a flap here.

He seems to be randomly throwing insults around,

which is rude.

You have three correct.

Time's up!

Oh, bad luck, James!

Melodious stink whistle, billowing burp toad

and bulbous bird brain

were all wrong.

No Year Sphere that time, I'm afraid.

That was difficult, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was really difficult.

Really, really difficult.

It's the final round now, though,

so it's over to the Gory Grid one last time

to find out what we've got.

It's the Vicious Vikings.

No quirky quiz in our final round.

It's straight to our big All Play Viking Endgame

and it's a Scary one.

So, everybody, get back down that Time Sewer.

Here we go!

Take a deep breath.

Adios, amigos!

Adios, amigos.

The date is 793 AD

and all is calm

on the island monastery of Lindisfarne.

But not for long.

It's time to play...

You are defenceless monks.

Your only hope of surviving the Viking attack

is that you're not found.

Every time you step on a sinking, noisy wooden panel,

you'll be sent back to the start.

Reach the end of the path

and you're faced with two doors.

Behind one is freedom.

Behind the other IS A VIKING!

Find him, and you have to start all over again.

First person to escape wins the Year Sphere.

Ready...steady...

HOOTER BLARES

And they're off!

-PHRRRRT!

-Oh, and Ash nearly lost her footing there.

They've all been sent back.

It's just a cacophony of horrible noises, Rattus.

-CREAK!

-There's another one.

Ash and Callum both returning.

Not James, though. This is excellent concentration.

What they're being here are monks

trying to creep away from marauding Vikings,

who are intent on, well, killing them, let's be honest.

There's a monk in the background - a genuine monk, there.

We're lucky to get these three monks.

It was interesting negotiating with them to appear on the show,

because they'd all taken a vow of silence

and we had to guess whether they were up for it or not.

And I think we're seeing a lot of guesswork from our contestants too.

What they really need to do

is commit the route to memory.

This really is a game of concentration.

You have to remember where you went wrong last time.

-TOILET FLUSHES

-No! It was the last one.

You saw him looking at that floorboard there

as if he wanted to kill it.

He gave it a jolly good point, Dave.

Yes, and he's having another go,

striding very purposefully.

But Ash is right at the end.

Oh, no, she's failed at the final plank!

James is through.

And he's approaching the door.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!

-Oh, that's made him jump!

-Made me jump!

We almost had to employ Ash's little sound effect there for James,

the way he reacted to that.

He's having another go, though.

But can he beat Ash and Callum to it?

He's going to do it.

He's through, and this time, there's no Viking.

Monk James is free.

Well done, fella!

Help yourself to another Year Sphere.

Well played.

Callum, how did you find that one?

I enjoyed it a lot.

Good. Excellent. Ash?

I was literally nearly there,

but I missed a plank so had to go all the way back.

Aww!

James, you did it again.

Was that Viking scary?

I got really scared!

But luckily, I got the right door, so...

Tremendous work.

Well, now it's time to count up those Year Spheres.

Remember that AD dates are added

and BC dates are subtracted.

It's the moment of truth.

Callum.

I'm going to go for...nought.

But as you well know,

that could be the winning total.

Ash, let's see if you can go ahead of Callum.

Let's have a look at that first Year Sphere.

Oh, it's all over, Callum.

It's 1348 AD.

The Black Death hit England that year.

Ash, you have taken the lead.

So, 1348 to beat.

Now we come to James.

Let's have a look at that first one.

It's a good start.

37 AD.

Caligula became Emperor of Rome that year.

Let's have a look at the second one.

Oh, no!

1,000,000 BC!

Stone Age man first came to Britain

round about then.

James, I don't think there's much coming back from 1,000,000,

but let's see where we end up. Let's go on a journey together.

Let's see that third one.

We're back in the positives.

1485 AD.

Richard III was killed in battle that year.

Let's have a look at that fourth one.

Oh, no!

Somehow it's getting worse!

1,500,000 BC!

Stone Age man first used fire

round about then.

James, let's have a look at that last one.

Well, it's a positive, you'll be pleased to hear.

1603 AD.

The death of Queen Elizabeth I.

That means, James,

that your overall score

is minus 2,496,875.

You got all your questions right.

The trouble is,

history is horrible.

You'll be leaving with absolutely nothing, I'm afraid.

So today's winner, with 1,348 points,

is Ash.

FANFARE

Which means that you win the most amazing prize

to be presented on any quiz show

on this particular channel

at this particular moment.

Yes, it's some old tat

that Rattus has found in the Time Sewer, unfortunately.

OLD TAT?!

It's a saint's finger,

which people in the Middle Ages believed could perform miracles.

Or at least, it MIGHT be a saint's finger.

A lot of religious relics were fakes.

Well, let's find out, shall we?

O, mighty finger,

grant us the miracle of turning this awful prize

into something decent.

Nothing. It's definitely a fake, I'm afraid.

-There you go, Ash.

-Thanks.

Just a bit of bone on a plinth. Enjoy.

So, well done, Ash,

and commiserations to our runners-up, Callum and James,

who unfortunately will need a miracle themselves

to get through this next bit

without contracting a horrid disease.

Because we're sending you home through the Time Sewers.

I'm so sorry. Off you go, fellas.

Bye!

If you want to play along at home next time,

don't forget to download the Gory Games app.

Oh, no!

RATTUS GUFFAWS

Well, that's it. It's goodbye from me, Dave Lamb,

and good riddance to him, Rattus Rattus.

-You know you love me really.

-I do.

I hope you enjoyed Gory Games.

Bye!

# Horrible Histories Gory...

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