Episode 10 HH: Gory Games



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# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

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# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

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# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

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# You'd better turn off This show ain't for you

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# Still watching Then let's test your brains

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# With Horrible History's Gory Games

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# Horrible History's Gory

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# Games. #

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Hello and welcome to Gory Games, with me, Dave Lamb.

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And me, Rattus Rattus. Can I come out now?

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Are you going to behave yourself?

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-Yes.

-Promise?

-Promise.

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All right, then.

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I'm sorry we had to do that.

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This is the show where you get to test your knowledge

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of Horrible Histories with quirky quiz questions and gory games.

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So without further ado, let's meet today's horrible historians.

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I'm Kelly.

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I'm Jonah.

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-And I'm Zofia!

-Hello! Welcome, one and all.

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To get things going this week, I've come up with...

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No! Sorry, sorry. You always do this.

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You come up with some awful warm-up game that gets me

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into trouble with the BBC. Well, not today.

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-I was only going to suggest football.

-Football? Just football?

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Well, Tudor football. I mean it's got to be historical, obviously.

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-OK.

-Granted, it is played with an inflated pig's bladder,

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but other than that, it's just football.

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There's nothing wrong with football. I'll allow it.

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Right. First to three goals wins.

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And just like in actual Tudor football, there are no rules,

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so you can kick, punch, bite, scratch, maim,

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-pull each other's arms off...

-No. Whoa, whoa, whoa! No way.

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That's how the Tudors played it.

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I don't care. We're getting rid of this for a start.

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-THUD!

-Ah!

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Sorry, Big Tony. Really sorry. I didn't mean...

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It is possible I didn't entirely drain that pig's bladder.

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You promised me you were going to behave yourself.

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I had my tail crossed. Ha, ha, ha!

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Right. Kelly, Jonah and Zofia, you are playing to win Year Spheres.

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Each Year Sphere contains a historical date,

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and at the end of the show your Year Sphere dates will be added up,

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with AD dates being added to your total

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and BC dates being subtracted from it.

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If these were your Year Spheres, your total would be, Rattus?

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-Er, can I phone a friend?

-All right.

-KEY TONES BLEEP

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PHONE RINGS

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-735.

-Thanks.

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-The answer is...

-I know.

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Oh...right. At the end of the show,

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the person with the highest year score

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will win an amazing prize that I've selected myself.

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And that's as fantastic as it sounds.

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By which I mean, not at all. Right, we're off.

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And to find out what Round One's all about, over to the Gory Grid.

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It's the measly Middle Ages.

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Four questions on the Middle Ages coming up.

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The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

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And your four topics are...

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Kelly, you get to pick first this round. Which is it going to be?

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Pot Luck.

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Pot Luck.

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True or false -

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the phrase "pot luck" comes from Middle Ages pottery?

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Hmm. True or false? Let's see your answers now, please.

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Jonah and Zofia going for true, Kelly going with false.

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What's the answer?

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It's false.

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It comes from Middle Ages cookery,

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where all the food was just chucked into a pot and left stewing.

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Whatever you actually got from the pot was just pot luck.

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Us rats have a similar expression. "bin luck".

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-We get whatever's chucked in the bin. Ah!

-Well done, Kelly.

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One point to you. Jonah, your turn to pick a topic.

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Castles.

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-Castles. That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

-Oh, thank you.

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Is it true or false -

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when attacking a castle,

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knights were known to sneak in by climbing up the toilet chute?

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Typical Rattus question, I'm afraid. Let's see your answers now, please.

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Two falses and a true. Kelly and Jonah with falses,

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Zofia goes for true. Rattus, put us out of our misery.

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The answer is...

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true! Ha-ha!

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I guess they've just got to hope nothing's coming down the other way.

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It would be awful! Awful! Zofia, your turn to choose a topic.

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Um, can I have Writing, please.

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True or false -

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we monks used to write on velum,

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which was made from treated and dried animal skin?

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Kelly and Zofia going for true, Jonah with false.

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-Let's hear the answer.

-It's true.

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Hmm, there you go, a point each for the girls there.

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-It was usually calf or goat's skin.

-Never rat skin, though?

-No, no.

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OK. It's a draw at the moment with one question left in this round.

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Kelly and Zofia, all to play for.

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Let's do the final question. It's on Kings. Let's hear what it is.

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True or false -

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Henry VI of England and James V of Scotland both became kings

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when they were just nine years-old?

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Interestingly, the girls have disagreed,

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so we are going to have a winner. Let's find out which of you it is.

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It's false. They both became king when they were just babies.

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So at least when those kings were behaving like babies,

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-they actually were babies.

-Yes.

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Fantastic. That means, Zofia, you've won the quiz.

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Time to chose your Year Sphere.

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Push, push, push, push, push, push, push...

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Zofia, choose your Year Sphere.

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Beware! One of them could contain a Stone Age date

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worth a few million minus points.

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-This one.

-That one?

-Yes.

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Ho, ho, ho! Good luck. Push, push, push, push...

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Zofia, you've won the quiz, which means you're automatically through

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to play the Measly Middle Ages Game,

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but will you be playing alone or will everyone be playing?

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Let's find out.

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It's a single-player silly game.

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Zofia, it's off down the Time Sewer with you. Careful, it stinks.

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Aw, aw! That's a bad one.

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We're going over to France in the 1400s to the court of King Louis XI.

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Louis has taken delivery of a new, original instrument.

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It's time to play the...

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Pig Piano!

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The instrument consisted of pigs of different sizes and a keyboard.

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Play a key and a little spike would prick a piggy and make it squeal.

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The larger the pig, the deeper the squeal.

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Your challenge is to listen to and repeat a sequence of piggy squeals.

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The sequence will start with three squeals

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and get one squeal longer each time.

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Correctly repeat nine squeals within the time limit to win a Year Sphere.

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Get one note wrong, however, and, er... Well, you'll find out.

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HONK!

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Let's get squealing.

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PIGS SQUEAL A TUNE

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There's the first sequence. Can she copy that?

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PIGS SQUEAL A TUNE

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Yes, she can.

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The idea here, Rattus, is for the pigs to make a sequence of noises,

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and then Zofia has to copy that sequence without making a mistake,

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otherwise something unspeakable will happen.

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-What unspeakable thing, Dave?

-I can't say, it's unspeakable.

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-Unspeakable, yes, yes.

-Absolutely. She's doing very well.

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Every time she gets a sequence correct,

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we add a squeak to that sequence.

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PIGS SQUEAL

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As you can see, she's moving through the sequences nicely here.

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I like Zofia's style - two-handed.

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It's a double-handed press she uses there.

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And look at that, doesn't it make her happy.

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-PIGS SQUEAL

-Let's just reiterate,

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the way in which these squeaks are made

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is that a spike goes into the piggy's bottom.

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Oh, it's so wrong Dave, it's right!

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She's doing well, going through the sequences incredibly well.

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She's not making any mistakes, Rattus.

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Yeah, she's a cheery pig-torturer, is Zofia.

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-You have to say, it's hypnotic, this, isn't it?

-Certainly is.

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Although, if you think about it, it's utterly harrowing.

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Do I need to point out that these aren't real pigs?

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-Are they not real pigs?

-No, I'm not going to.

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The pig piano - part musical instrument, part Sunday lunch.

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THRRRP!

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Oh, big one's let one go!

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Well, that was extraordinary. Did you see that, Rattus?

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I did see a gust.

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It was a puff of something and came out of the big one.

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-I don't know what happened there.

-THRRRP!

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Oh, there's another one!

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Oh, it's Liberty Hall! They're all going for it now!

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You have to say, Zofia remains absolutely focussed.

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There's pigs guffing left and right, she's barely noticed.

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But this is the final sequence.

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She has to get these nine squeals correct to win a Year Sphere.

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Here she goes.

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One...

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two, three...

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Aw! ..five, six,

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seven, eight, nine!

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-She's done it!

-She has done it.

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That's the full nine squeally squeaks,

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and Zofia is Queen of pig torture!

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Welcome back, Zofia. Choose yourself a Year Sphere.

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Fantastic. Well done, Zofia, that was absolutely brilliant.

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Now it's over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

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It's the Awful Egyptians.

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Here are your four Egyptian topics...

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Jonah, it's your turn to pick a topic first.

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The Underworld, please.

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You have selected a question to be asked by Rattus Rattus.

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Ancient Egyptians believed when you died you travelled to the underworld,

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where you faced numerous dangers, including a huge river of what?

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Was it...

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Thank you, Rattus.

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Let's see you answers now.

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And everybody has gone for C, Rattus. Are they all right?

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-They are indeed all right.

-Well done.

-It's C, fire!

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Though faced with a river of fire,

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I imagine there was the odd river of poo too!

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Rattus... Zofia, it's your turn to pick a topic.

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Um, can I have Mummies, please?

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Is this true or false?

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Kelly and Jonah in agreement with B, Zofia going for C.

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The answer is B - 40 days.

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They used salt to dry the bodies you know?

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-It sucks all the moisture out.

-Kelly, your turn to choose a topic.

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Can I have Pharaohs, please.

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Hatshepsut and Cleopatra were female pharaohs.

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But traditionally, all pharaohs were supposed to be men.

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So what did they do to make them seem more manly?

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A - play violent Egyptian sports,

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B - wear false beards

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or C - talk in low, growly voices like mine?

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All three going for B. Are you all right?

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The answer is B - the female pharaohs had to wear false beards.

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Actually, my nan's growing a real beard.

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Don't tell her I told you that.

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We won't say a word.

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So, three points apiece for Kelly and Jonah.

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Zofia one point behind, but there's one question left,

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so everyone still has everything to play for.

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That question is on Festivals and we're going to hear it now.

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In the early days of Egypt, once every four years

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at the Heb-Sed Festival,

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the pharaoh had to run three times around the Palace.

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What happened if the pharaoh couldn't complete the course?

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A - he was killed, B - he was made into a peasant,

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or C - he was banished.

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Well, girls both going for C, Jonah going for A. Who is right?

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The answer is A - he was killed, he's clearly too unfit to rule.

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Congratulations, Jonah. You've won the quiz round.

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-Collect a Year Sphere, please.

-We should have made them Year Noses.

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Then picking them would be funnier.

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-Picking them. Picking them! No, I'll shut up.

-I think that's best.

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Jonah, as the quiz winner

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you're also through to play the Egyptian game,

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but will it be just you,

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or will the others play too? Let's find out.

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It's an all-play brainy game!

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So that means it is time for you all to get off down the Time Sewer.

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Go on! Go on, Zofia, get in there. Go on, Jonah. That's it, Kelly.

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In you go. Oh, a head first there. And she's gone.

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Now, Egyptian Pharaohs like to be buried in style,

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and what could be more stylish than a pyramid?

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-It's time to play...

-Pyramid Puzzle!

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You're about to build your very own pyramid,

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much like the real ones only, thankfully, a lot smaller.

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Nine building blocks, your challenge -

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to work out which block goes where.

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We've even put the first block in place to help you along.

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-First to finish their pyramid wins the Year Sphere.

-Ready, steady...

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-HONK!

-Get building!

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Zofia goes straight for the big piece, as does Kelly.

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Sensible - get the biggest piece on the board straightaway.

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Jonah's done it too.

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They've all cottoned onto that incredibly quickly.

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That's an excellent start.

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There's a lot of pieces, isn't there, Rattus?

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-Fundamentally, that's the game, Dave.

-Absolutely.

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I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad there are lots of pieces.

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If it was just one big piece it'd be over...

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Well, before they started.

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You could hardly call it a challenge.

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There'd be no challenge to be had.

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Jonah. He is flying through this challenge.

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The base layer is complete

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and he's started on the first floor already!

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Oh! And Zofia's completed her base layer as well.

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Whereas, Kelly, look at that.

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That's just a load of pieces in a hotchpotch of, disorder, really.

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But there's Jonah, look at him.

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Zofia's on the second level, too.

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There, in fact, there, the two of them are doing very nicely.

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Zofia and Jonah on the first floor.

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Kelly having a look at every piece

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before committing to that ground floor, and why wouldn't you?

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Zofia is doing nicely, as is Jonah,

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and Kelly seems to be getting there herself.

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It's very, very tactical at this stage.

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It's all about trial and error, isn't it really, Rattus?

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Kelly's completed the ground floor. Very nice.

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Jonah putting his piece.

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Kelly, she's coming with a bigger piece here.

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Kelly could be coming with a bit of a late run here

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and that's tremendous because, after a great start,

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Jonah seems to be having one or two problems now.

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And there's Zofia. Actually, she's doing extremely well!

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This has crept up on us, Rattus.

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Look at this! She's only got two pieces!

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Out of nowhere, only two pieces left to get!

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Oh, one more piece to go!

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Just the top piece. Surely she can't go wrong from here!

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Dave, there is a point to this game, and it goes on the top there.

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There it is! And there's the trademark celebration.

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Arms in the air,

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and well may she celebrate, for she hath built a pyramid!

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Well played, and well played, Zofia.

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Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

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-Zofia, did you find that difficult?

-Yes.

-You did extremely well.

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It's very tricky, the pyramid game.

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-Ever tried building a pyramid?

-No, that would be just insane.

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-Yeah, it would be, wouldn't it?

-Yep.

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Excellent. Right.

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Time for us to go over to the Gory Grid to find out who's up next.

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It's the Gorgeous Georgians!

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And here are your four Georgian topics.

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Posh people.

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Teeth.

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Cures.

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And Sailors.

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Zofia, it's your turn to pick first.

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Could I have Posh People, please?

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You certainly can.

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True or false? When the Earl of Carlisle built his posh stately home,

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he gave all the locals in the nearest village a present of a flamingo.

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Let's see your answers now please.

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Everybody has gone for false. What's the real answer?

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It's false. In fact, he had the nearest village flattened.

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Well, of course he did. It was quite ruining his view.

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Quite right, too. Don't want your view ruined!

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So, Kelly. Your turn to pick a topic.

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-Teeth, please.

-Teeth it is.

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True or false?

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If you needed a false tooth

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your Georgian dentist might give you one taken from a dead soldier.

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Very good. All going for true. Let's see if you are right.

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It's true. Teeth were taken from dead soldiers at Waterloo.

0:16:590:17:03

You know, I think this one's previous owner

0:17:030:17:05

used to like garlic! Ugh.

0:17:050:17:08

How absolutely revolting.

0:17:080:17:10

So, everyone on two points. Jonah, pick your topic please.

0:17:100:17:13

-Cures please.

-Cures. That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

0:17:130:17:18

It certainly is, Dave.

0:17:180:17:20

True or false?

0:17:200:17:21

A Georgian cure for a stye on your eyelid

0:17:210:17:24

was to rub it with the tail of a black (SPITS) cat.

0:17:240:17:27

Let's see your answers now, please.

0:17:270:17:31

Jonah and Zofia going for false. Kelly for true.

0:17:310:17:34

Rattus, what is the answer?

0:17:340:17:37

True! And if it's all the same to you,

0:17:370:17:39

I'd rather keep the stye, and my life, for that matter.

0:17:390:17:42

Hmm. Absolutely.

0:17:420:17:44

Kelly, you've taken the lead with one question left in this round.

0:17:440:17:48

If you get this right, there's nothing

0:17:480:17:50

either of the other two can do to catch you

0:17:500:17:52

and the final question in this round is on Sailors,

0:17:520:17:55

and it is a prop question.

0:17:550:17:57

Here is your prop.

0:17:570:18:00

True or false?

0:18:000:18:01

Georgian sailors ate food from square plates.

0:18:010:18:05

Show me now.

0:18:070:18:08

Zofia's going for true. Jonah and Kelly going for false.

0:18:080:18:13

The answer is, true!

0:18:130:18:16

And that is where we get the expression "a square meal".

0:18:160:18:19

-I did not know that!

-Yeah, it is true.

-True, yeah.

0:18:190:18:24

As we can see, we have a tie.

0:18:240:18:26

Kelly and Zofia have three points each.

0:18:260:18:28

Jonah's not involved in the buzzer round,

0:18:280:18:30

but fingers on buzzers,

0:18:300:18:32

Kelly and Zofia, we're going for the tie-break question.

0:18:320:18:35

Beginning with the letter G, which king came next

0:18:350:18:38

after George I, George II and George III?

0:18:380:18:42

ATCHOO!

0:18:420:18:43

-Kelly.

-George IV.

0:18:430:18:45

You're absolutely right, Kelly, you've won yourself a Year Sphere.

0:18:450:18:49

Well done. Everyone has Year Spheres now. I like it when that happens.

0:18:490:18:54

OK, Kelly. You're through to play the Georgian game

0:18:540:18:57

but will it be just you, or everyone else, too? Let's find out now.

0:18:570:19:01

It's an all play silly game!

0:19:040:19:07

So, off down that Time Sewer with the lot of you!

0:19:070:19:10

Lead 'em off, Zofia.

0:19:100:19:12

Lovely. Well done, Jonah, in you go. And now then.

0:19:120:19:15

Picture a Georgian and you picture someone in a wig

0:19:150:19:18

with lots of make-up - and that's just the men!

0:19:180:19:21

Yes, all Georgians loved wigs, but there was one problem.

0:19:230:19:26

They were home to hundreds of bugs. It's time to play...

0:19:260:19:29

Flea Fling!

0:19:290:19:32

Fleas and lice will fling themselves from a giant Georgian wig.

0:19:320:19:36

Catch as many in your hair net and wig as possible.

0:19:360:19:39

The player who catches the most wins the Year Sphere. Are you ready?

0:19:390:19:42

Are you steady? Let the fleas fling!

0:19:420:19:45

Remember, our contestants have to catch those fleas

0:19:450:19:49

in their nets or on their wigs.

0:19:490:19:52

Fleas and lice there. Some people call them parasites.

0:19:520:19:55

I call them friends.

0:19:550:19:56

Yeah. Look at them!

0:19:560:19:58

There's hundreds of them, firing out from all angles.

0:19:580:20:01

I didn't think there'd be that many fleas in a Georgian wig

0:20:010:20:04

but clearly there are.

0:20:040:20:05

Well, Georgians were notably filthy, Dave, it has to be said.

0:20:050:20:09

Lice are impossible to get rid of, just like rats, eh?

0:20:090:20:13

I hear you. Boy, do I hear you.

0:20:130:20:15

Nits are actually the eggs of the louse, Dave.

0:20:150:20:19

Um, so they are technically one and the same species.

0:20:190:20:23

I bet you wish some fleas had set up home on your mangy head.

0:20:230:20:26

Thanks.

0:20:260:20:27

I do apologise for calling him mangy,

0:20:270:20:30

I didn't mean that, but look at the amount of the fleas

0:20:300:20:33

that are being gathered! We're getting very near to the end.

0:20:330:20:36

Those nets will get pretty heavy if it carries on like that, Rattus.

0:20:360:20:39

It will give them arm strain.

0:20:390:20:41

Absolutely. None have attached themselves to the players' heads.

0:20:410:20:45

Those wigs remain flealess, which is ironic.

0:20:450:20:49

-Time's up.

-And it's all over and we have a tie!

0:20:490:20:53

Welcome back, Gory Gamers. Behind your podiums, please.

0:20:530:20:57

I can tell you that in third place with 26 points

0:20:570:21:00

was Jonah, but joint first with 36 points each were Zofia and Kelly.

0:21:000:21:07

Zofia, if you'd like to go first. Choose yourself a Year Sphere.

0:21:070:21:11

And now Kelly. Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

0:21:110:21:15

Did you know, only important people in Georgian times

0:21:150:21:19

could afford a big wig. That's where the phrase "big wig" is from,

0:21:190:21:22

-meaning an important person.

-Dave...

0:21:220:21:24

If a wig goes bald, do you need to get a wig for it?

0:21:240:21:28

Answers on a postcard please and mail it to The Rat,

0:21:280:21:31

No Fixed Abode, The Sewer.

0:21:310:21:33

Moving swiftly on. It's time for the final round.

0:21:330:21:37

Over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out what we've got.

0:21:370:21:40

It's the Vicious Vikings.

0:21:400:21:43

No quirky quiz in our final round.

0:21:430:21:45

It's straight to our big all-play Viking end game

0:21:450:21:48

and it's a scary one! Mooah! Sorry.

0:21:480:21:53

Everyone get down that Time Sewer.

0:21:530:21:56

Come on, in you go. You know the way by now.

0:21:560:21:58

Well done, Jonah.

0:21:580:22:00

Excellent work, Kelly. Lovely.

0:22:000:22:03

It's 793 AD and all is quiet in the monastery on Lindisfarne Island.

0:22:030:22:09

But not for long. It's time to play...

0:22:090:22:13

You are defenceless monks.

0:22:130:22:16

Your only survival hope is that the Vikings won't find you

0:22:160:22:18

so best not step on a squeaky floorboard.

0:22:180:22:21

Your challenge is to find the one squeak-free path.

0:22:210:22:25

Reach the end of the path and there are two doors.

0:22:250:22:27

Behind one is freedom! Behind the other is (MANIACAL LAUGH)...

0:22:270:22:32

a Viking.

0:22:320:22:34

Find him and you have to start all over again.

0:22:340:22:37

First person to escape wins the Year Sphere.

0:22:370:22:40

Ready, steady...

0:22:400:22:43

The contestants have to try

0:22:430:22:45

and creep up to the doors at the end by avoiding the squeaky floorboard.

0:22:450:22:51

And the creakers sink.

0:22:510:22:53

Once they creak, they have to go back to the start

0:22:530:22:56

and try to make their way across.

0:22:560:22:58

There's only one true path across this puzzle.

0:22:580:23:01

They have got to find it by trial and error.

0:23:010:23:03

I think they've got to find it by using their feet, Dave.

0:23:030:23:06

Yep. One and the same thing.

0:23:060:23:08

It's incredibly tense, as they try to recall where they've stood before

0:23:110:23:15

and where they may not step in the future.

0:23:150:23:18

Kelly making some real progress here.

0:23:180:23:21

The same cannot be said for Jonah or Zofia.

0:23:210:23:24

Kelly's getting a long way down her path.

0:23:240:23:28

Look how far she's going with such sureness of foot.

0:23:280:23:31

Now look out. Oh!

0:23:310:23:34

A floorboard squeak just at the wrong moment.

0:23:340:23:36

And back to the very beginning for her.

0:23:360:23:38

That must be very disappointing for the girl.

0:23:380:23:41

Yep. Jonah sets off again.

0:23:410:23:44

This is the problem for Kelly.

0:23:440:23:45

She was at the end but she couldn't remember the path.

0:23:450:23:49

No squeak there for Zofia. Not squeak there for Jonah.

0:23:490:23:54

No squeak there for Zofia! No...

0:23:540:23:56

Oh dear, Jonah's off.

0:23:560:23:59

But Zofia's done it.

0:23:590:24:00

She's through, Dave.

0:24:000:24:02

She's at the big crux of the challenge.

0:24:020:24:04

The door on the right and it's the door to freedom!

0:24:040:24:07

Oh!

0:24:070:24:08

She's free. The others are going to be hacked to death by Vikings.

0:24:080:24:12

Zofia, help yourself to another Year Sphere.

0:24:120:24:16

Vikings got a taste for raiding monasteries

0:24:160:24:18

as they were full of gold and silver and were defended by, er,

0:24:180:24:22

well, monks, so they knew they'd win.

0:24:220:24:24

Would have been pretty embarrassing

0:24:240:24:26

if the big tough Vikings had lost to monks!

0:24:260:24:29

Much like when you lost an arm wrestle to a rat, Dave.

0:24:290:24:32

I don't know what you mean.

0:24:320:24:34

Time to count up those Year Spheres, I think.

0:24:340:24:37

And remember, AD years are added to your total

0:24:370:24:40

and BC years subtracted.

0:24:400:24:42

Kelly, we'll start with you.

0:24:420:24:44

Please could you open your first Year Sphere.

0:24:440:24:46

508 BC.

0:24:460:24:48

Oh!

0:24:480:24:49

Democracy invented in Athens. Let's have a look at the second one.

0:24:490:24:54

It's 1658 AD. The death of Oliver Cromwell.

0:24:540:24:59

You have a total of 1,150.

0:24:590:25:01

Now, Jonah, if you can beat that, that will put you into the lead.

0:25:030:25:07

What have you got?

0:25:070:25:08

1727 AD.

0:25:080:25:11

George II became King.

0:25:110:25:14

You are in the lead.

0:25:140:25:16

So, if Zofia gets a large BC score

0:25:160:25:19

in amongst her spheres,

0:25:190:25:21

you are going to be our champion.

0:25:210:25:23

Zofia, here we go. You've won five spheres. Let's see what you've got.

0:25:230:25:26

55 BC.

0:25:260:25:29

The year Julius Caesar invaded Britain.

0:25:290:25:33

60 AD. Boudicca rebelled against the Romans.

0:25:330:25:37

You're on plus five.

0:25:370:25:39

899 AD.

0:25:390:25:41

The death of Alfred the Great.

0:25:410:25:44

1939 AD,

0:25:440:25:47

the start of the Second World War.

0:25:470:25:50

It's all comes down to this final sphere.

0:25:500:25:52

What's it going to be?

0:25:520:25:53

Let's have a look.

0:25:530:25:56

8500 BC!

0:25:560:25:59

The age of the oldest Stone Age house discovered in Britain.

0:25:590:26:03

You've been torpedoed

0:26:030:26:04

by a massive BC, which means that your final score is

0:26:040:26:07

minus 5,657.

0:26:070:26:12

-Which means Jonah is today's champion.

-Yes! Wooh!

0:26:120:26:16

And that means that you go home with our star prize

0:26:160:26:20

and our prizes aren't your usual game-show rubbish. Oh, no.

0:26:200:26:24

They're unique bits of historical rubbish

0:26:240:26:27

picked out of the Time Sewers by my colleague here.

0:26:270:26:30

So what's the big prize, Rattus?

0:26:300:26:32

To celebrate the amazing Roman sewage system,

0:26:320:26:35

which pumped all the city of Rome's poo

0:26:350:26:37

into the River Tiber,

0:26:370:26:39

it's a poo-filled Roman fish from the River Tiber!

0:26:390:26:42

Hooray!

0:26:420:26:44

-Yay.

-There it is.

0:26:440:26:46

Full of poo and from Rome!

0:26:460:26:47

Of all the rivers in all the historical eras in all the world,

0:26:470:26:51

why, oh why, did you pick a fish from one that's filled with poo?

0:26:510:26:55

Because, and this might just be me,

0:26:550:26:58

I have always found fish to be a little bit bland.

0:26:580:27:01

-Oh!

-Congratulations, Jonah.

0:27:010:27:05

-Well done. There you go.

-Thank you.

-Terribly sorry.

0:27:050:27:07

At least you get to keep your Gory Games T-shirt. So it's not all bad.

0:27:070:27:11

It just remains for me to say thanks to our champion, Jonah,

0:27:110:27:14

and our fantastic runners up, Kelly and Zofia,

0:27:140:27:18

and no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

0:27:180:27:20

Oh, I'm nothing if not constipated.

0:27:200:27:22

No wait. Consistent. That's the word.

0:27:220:27:25

-You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

0:27:250:27:28

# Was that show messy enough for you

0:27:280:27:32

# Or would you have preferred a little more poo?

0:27:320:27:35

# Have you had your fill of blood, guts and gore?

0:27:350:27:38

# Or have we left you still wanting more?

0:27:380:27:40

# Well, keep watching We'll be back again

0:27:400:27:44

# With Horrible History's Gory Games

0:27:440:27:47

# Horrible History's Gory Games. #

0:27:470:27:50

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