Episode 3 HH: Gory Games


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Quirky quizzes and gory games. It is time for one of Rattus' favourite games, the Middle Ages Pig Piano. Part musical instrument, part Sunday lunch.


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# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

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# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

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# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

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# Better turn off This show ain't for you

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# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

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# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

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# Horrible Histories Gory...

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# Games! #

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Hello, and welcome to Gory Games with me, Dave Lamb

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and my assistant Rattus Rattus.

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Who would like to apologise to the people at 32 Wolsey Avenue

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who accidentally locked me in their larder last night.

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Let's just say that some of the raisins on the larder floor

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aren't raisins.

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This is the show where you get to test your knowledge

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of Horrible Histories with quirky quiz questions and gory games,

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so let's meet out horrible historians.

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How's it going? I'm Lloyd.

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Hermione.

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-And I'm Sam.

-Hey, Sam.

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-Dave!

-What?

-Dave!

-What?

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For our warm up today, I thought we could play a little Roman game

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I like to call What Happens Next.

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Now, if Roman priests wanted to know what happens next,

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they turned to Haruspicy, an ancient religious practice

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in which they predict the future by inspecting animal entrails.

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So, three plates of chicken guts, all you three have to do....

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No, no, no, no, no...

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No-one is reading the future in chicken entrails, not on my show.

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If no one's going to read them, can I eat them?

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I predict they will taste disgusting.

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Right - Lloyd, Hermione and Sam, you're playing to win year spheres.

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Each year sphere contains a historical date

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and at the end of the show, your dates will be added up

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with AD dates being added to your total

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and BC dates being subtracted from it.

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So, for example, if these were your year spheres,

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your total would be, Rattus? Any point asking you?

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Well, actually, I found this book on basic mathematics.

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Oh, right, so the answer is?

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No idea. I haven't read it yet.

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735.

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And at the end of the show, the person with the highest year score

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will win a fantastic historical prize,

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something I picked out myself from the time sewer.

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I shudder to think.

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Right, let's get cracking.

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And to find out who this round's about, it's over to the gory grid.

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It's the gorgeous Georgians.

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So your four Georgian topics are...

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So, Lloyd, it's your turn to pick first in this round.

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Crime.

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Crime it is.

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Thief taker General, Jonathan Wild, was in charge of stopping crime

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in Georgian London, but what was odd about this?

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A, he was the biggest criminal in London.

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B, he was actually dead.

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Or C, he was only two years old.

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OK. Well, Hermione and Sam agreeing on A,

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Lloyd going for B. Let's hear what the answer is.

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The answer is A. He was the biggest criminal in London.

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He would organise a robbery

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and then charge people money to get their stolen goods back.

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Right, you couldn't make it up.

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Well, you could but it wouldn't be as interesting.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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-Hermione, your turn to pick a topic.

-Fashion.

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Fashion.

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Here we go. Good luck.

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Lloyd's gone for A,

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Hermione and Sam have agreed again on B.

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Let's hear what the answer is.

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I can tell you the answer is...

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B, mouse skin.

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Lloyd, you are a sick and twisted individual, I must say.

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Rat skin, indeed.

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So two points each for Hermione and Sam.

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Still plenty of time to catch up, Lloyd. Nothing to worry about.

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Sam, it's your turn to pick a topic.

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I'm going to pick inventions.

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Inventions.

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Georgian John Joseph Merlin injured himself with his own invention,

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but what was it?

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A, a cannon ball.

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B, a cardboard submarine.

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Or C, roller skates.

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The boys agreeing on C,

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Hermione out on her own with B.

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The answer is C, roller skates.

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They had no brakes and he smashed into a mirror

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showing them off at a posh party. Ha-ha-ha!

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On the bright side, he would have won 250 quid from You've Been Framed.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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I'm just being silly. Right, one question left in this round.

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Sam, if you were to get this one right,

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you would win the first year sphere.

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The question remaining is on sport

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and that is a question from Rattus Rattus.

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Oh, yes, it is. I can see the card, I can see the card.

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Which popular American sport was first played in Georgian England?

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Was it A, basketball,

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B, baseball

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or C, American football?

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Hermione and Lloyd agreeing with B,

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Sam going with A.

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What's the answer Rattus?

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B, baseball.

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It was first played in Surrey in the 1700s.

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Very, very interesting, Rattus.

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Well, that is the end of the round and an excellent come back

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from you, Lloyd, but unfortunately, you didn't quite get enough.

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Hermione and Sam, you are going into the Buzzer Round.

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You're history for now, Lloyd. Fingers on buzzers.

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Beginning with the letter B,

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which violent sport did former slave Bill Richmond become famous for?

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Hermione?

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Boxing.

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It is boxing, Hermione. Well done, you've won the first year sphere.

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Time to choose it from our trolley wally.

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Push, push, push, push, push.

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Oh, Hermione! You're already there. Ha-ha-ha!

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Help yourself to a year sphere, any one you like.

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Yes, let's hope you haven't picked one with a Stone Age date in it,

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cos that could be worth a few million minus points.

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Push, push, push, push, push.

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So winning the quiz means that Hermione

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is automatically through to play the Georgian game.

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But will she be alone or will everyone get to play?

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It's an all play silly game!

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So that means get down that time sewer, the lot of you!

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Go on, Sam, lead off.

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Down you go, Hermione.

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No messing.

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And Lloyd. Woh, hoh, hoh.

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Wigs were very much the fashion in Georgian times.

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In fact, people were more likely to tease you

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if you weren't wearing a wig.

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But most of them were teaming with bugs.

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It's time to play...

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Loads of fleas and lice will be flinging themselves

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from a giant Georgian wig.

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You have to catch as many bugs in your wig as possible.

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The player who catches the most, wins the year sphere.

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Are you ready? Are you steady? Then let the flea frolics begin.

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HORN HOOTS

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There we go then, with the Georgian flea fling.

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And look at that! Hermione has scored one already.

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There is the main wig,

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which I have to tell you

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is not actual size.

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The Georgians were not

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a race of giants.

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She got another one, but Lloyd's got one, too. This is good.

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Fleas aren't attracted

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to dirty hair, are they Rattus?

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No, of course they're not.

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They're attracted to clean,

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freshly scrubbed hair.

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And yet, you're riddled with them. Go figure.

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Meanwhile, the game continues

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and Lloyd is well in the lead here.

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What an excellent burst he's put on,

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although he's got one obscuring his face.

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He may have scored his last point

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because he surely can't see anything at the moment.

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He's got eight but look at that!

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Two right across his face!

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It's a wonder he can see anything at all.

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Dave, it really is

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quite literally

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raining fleas and lice here.

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Which is vastly preferable

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to cats and dogs,

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in my humble opinion.

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Look at that. They're all bumping into each other

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and it's getting very, very close in there.

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Sam has come with a good late run here,

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just one point behind Lloyd now.

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Just one point in it.

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Hermione slightly behind, despite that excellent start.

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It really is going to be close, this one.

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Hermione creeping back into it now.

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Oh, right back into it now.

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Oh, this is very tight.

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HORN HOOTS

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And just on the hooter, she got that crucial final flea,

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which means that Hermione and Lloyd have tied it.

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I've got one in my face.

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There's more than one in your face, fella.

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Welcome back, everyone. Back behind your podiums.

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Excellent. Well, that was extremely close.

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Lloyd, how did you find it?

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I thought it was going to be quite easy

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but it's actually quite hard, they just come flying at you really fast.

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-I'm pretty sure you couldn't see much towards the end.

-Not really.

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Well, you all did extremely well. And Lloyd and Hermione...

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you both get a year sphere. So, Lloyd, if you pick yours first.

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Interesting choice.

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And Hermione, you pick one as well.

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Nobody knows what's in them, so it could be good, could be bad.

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We shall find out later on.

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It's on to Round Two,

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and to find out what's up next, it's over to the gory grid.

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It's the measly Middle Ages.

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Here are your all important Middle Ages topics.

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Hermione, it's your turn to pick first this time.

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I'll have fashion.

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Fashion. That...

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is a prop question.

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Oh! Prop question, prop question, prop question.

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It is a long pointy shoe.

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Long pointy shoes became very fashionable in the Middle Ages

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but they got so long that people started to trip over them.

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So, what did trendy men do about it?

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Did they A, attach them

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with chains to their knees,

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B, wear them on their hands

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or C, tie the ends in a knot?

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OK. Hermione's going with C,

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the boys going with A.

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The answer is A.

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They attached them with chains to their knees,

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almost as ridiculous as wearing your trousers so low

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that people can see your pants.

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-Mm...but not quite.

-No, not quite.

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Point each for the boys. Sam, your turn to choose a topic.

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The Normans.

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The Normans.

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William the Conqueror wasn't the only Norman to have a nickname.

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Which of these characters is not a genuine Norman?

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A, Ralph the Timid.

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B, Alan the Red.

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Or C, Norman the Wisdom.

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Oh, they've all gone for C.

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Are they all right or are they all wrong?

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The answer is C, Norman the Wisdom.

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Yes, well done. You weren't fooled by that one at all, were you?

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Lloyd, it's your turn to pick a topic.

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I'll go for Henry II.

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Henry II.

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King Henry II was a very good king, but he had a terrible temper.

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What did he once do when he was angry?

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A, get on the floor and start eating the carpet.

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B, punch the Bishop of London in the face.

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Or C, declare war on all children.

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Boys agreeing on B,

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Hermione on her own with C.

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The answer is A.

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He went bright red

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and started chewing the carpet, which was made of straw.

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That's a very good source of fibre.

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If you're a rat.

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It is. No-one scored there.

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So the scores are two points each to Lloyd and Sam,

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one for Hermione, with one question left in this round on El Cid.

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It's a question from Rattus Rattus.

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Here you go, hm.

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In 1099, the Spanish fought the Moors from North Africa.

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The Moors were scared of the Spanish General, El Cid.

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But why was this silly?

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Was it A, cos he was just a baby,

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B, because he was dead,

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or C, he didn't believe in violence?

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OK, Hermione and Sam going for C,

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Lloyd going for A.

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Well, I'm afraid the answer is B.

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He was dead!

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The Spanish strapped his dead body to his horse,

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making the Moors think that El Cid was a zombie

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come back from the dead.

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So, no points scored there, which means at the end of that round,

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we have another tie.

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This time, it's Lloyd and Sam. Hermione, for now, you're history.

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Fingers on buzzers, you two.

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Beginning with the letter E,

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what part of King Harold's body

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was supposedly struck by an arrow at the Battle of Hastings?

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Sam?

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-Eye.

-Eye is correct.

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Sam, you've just won yourself a year sphere. Come and collect it now.

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So, Sam, as the quiz winner,

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you are through to play the Middle Ages game.

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But will it be just you or will the others play, too? Let's find out.

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It's a single player silly game.

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So, Sam, off down the time sewer with you.

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Come with me if you will, and you must,

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to France in the 1400's, to the Court of King Louis XI.

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Louis had just been given a most remarkable musical instrument.

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It's time to play the...

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The instrument consisted of pigs

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of different sizes and a keyboard.

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Play a key and a little spike would prick a piggy

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and make it squeal.

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The larger the pig, the deeper the squeal.

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Your challenge is to listen to and repeat a sequence of piggy squeals.

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The sequence will get one squeal longer each time.

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Correctly repeat nine squeals within the time limit to win a year sphere.

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Get one note wrong, however, and you're history.

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Let's get squealing.

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HORN HOOTS

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So here we go, then. Sam attempts to play the pig piano.

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What's your technique here, Rattus?

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How are you going to approach this?

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I think the technique here is to listen very, very carefully

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and duck if you get it wrong.

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Yeah, that is a very wise piece of advice.

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So, four to remember this time.

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Here he goes.

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Three, beautifully done.

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Beautifully done, Sam. Well played, indeed.

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I like the way he pretends to be pressing them

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while he's hearing them for the first time. That's very nice.

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Those candles can't be helping the pigs to remain comfortable,

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I wouldn't have thought.

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The way they're lighting up just below...

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PRRT!

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Look at that! The little one's just let one go.

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The candles are actually there, Dave,

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to absorb the gassiness from the chuff,

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So if they were all chuffing at the same,

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without the candles, the poor contestant would pass out.

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Well, thank goodness, then, for those candles.

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I take it all back about the candles.

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And Sam has there completed a sequence of six. This is very good.

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One, two, three...

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PRRT!

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Er, four, five, six, seven.

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Can he remember?

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Very confidently done!

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If anything, he's getting better and better. Here comes the eight.

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PRRT!

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Big parp.

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PRRT!

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Another one.

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Sam triumphs again, despite the best efforts

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of the tiny pig on the end and his bottom of fear.

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This is it. If he can remember this sequence of nine,

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he has won himself a year sphere.

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Yeah, three... He's going to get to nine!

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PRRT!

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Five... Here we go. It's so close!

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Oh, hesitating. Oh!

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PRRT!

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-Watch it!

-Oh!

-Oh! That hit him right on the arm.

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But he was so close to playing the pig piano all the way to the end.

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But in the end, he got covered in poo.

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Welcome back, Sam. What bad luck.

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You did so well there.

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I think it was almost the last squeak, wasn't it, that you missed.

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Yeah, something like that.

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Oh, you came agonisingly close, but no year sphere, I'm afraid.

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Over to the gory grid to find out who's up next.

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Oh, the putrid Pirates, it be.

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And here are your four Piratey topics.

0:15:090:15:12

Sam, it's your turn to pick a topic first.

0:15:170:15:19

I'm going to pick punishments.

0:15:190:15:21

Punishments.

0:15:210:15:23

What did the pirate punishment of keel hauling involve?

0:15:230:15:27

A, being hung upside down from the mast.

0:15:270:15:30

B, being dragged across the bottom of the ship.

0:15:300:15:33

Or C, having to lift the heavy anchor on your own.

0:15:330:15:38

OK.

0:15:380:15:39

Lloyd's gone for C,

0:15:390:15:40

Hermione and Sam agreeing on B.

0:15:400:15:43

The answer is B.

0:15:430:15:45

Keel hauling meant a rope was tied to the victim's feet and hands,

0:15:450:15:49

and he was dragged under the water

0:15:490:15:51

across the rough barnacle covered bottom of the ship,

0:15:510:15:54

and up the other side.

0:15:540:15:56

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:15:560:15:58

Yeah, as punishments go,

0:15:580:16:00

being grounded suddenly doesn't sound quite so bad, does it?

0:16:000:16:03

Right. Lloyd, it's your turn to pick a topic.

0:16:030:16:05

-I'm going to go for Blackbeard.

-OK.

0:16:050:16:08

Tis I, Blackbeard the Pirate.

0:16:080:16:11

OK, Lloyd and Hermione with B,

0:16:210:16:25

Sam on his own with C.

0:16:250:16:27

The answer is...

0:16:270:16:29

C!

0:16:290:16:30

The skeleton is about to stab a bleeding heart.

0:16:300:16:33

Yeah, and the skeleton also had an hourglass in his other hand,

0:16:330:16:36

meaning your time is running out.

0:16:360:16:39

Err, spooky! Hermione, it's your turn to choose a topic.

0:16:390:16:43

Pirate jobs.

0:16:430:16:44

Pirate jobs.

0:16:440:16:46

Aboard a pirate ship, what was the bosun's job?

0:16:460:16:50

A, he was in charge of the sails.

0:16:500:16:53

B, he was a ship's cook.

0:16:530:16:55

Or C, he made wooden eyeballs.

0:16:550:16:59

OK. Everybody has gone for A.

0:16:590:17:03

The answer is A.

0:17:030:17:05

He was in charge of the sails,

0:17:050:17:07

which was kind of an important job on a sailing ship.

0:17:070:17:10

A point for everyone. That means, with one question left in this round,

0:17:100:17:14

Sam is in the lead, Hermione in second place, Lloyd in third place.

0:17:140:17:17

Sam, if you were to get this one right,

0:17:170:17:19

you'd win yourself a second year sphere.

0:17:190:17:22

So the last question in this round is about weapons

0:17:220:17:24

and it is a prop question.

0:17:240:17:26

Hoh! Prop question, prop question.

0:17:260:17:29

Don't worry, it's not loaded, everyone. It's not loaded.

0:17:290:17:32

What was the pirates' nickname for this gun?

0:17:320:17:35

Was it A, a cat-o-four-tails?

0:17:350:17:39

B, a four firer?

0:17:390:17:42

Or C, a duck's foot?

0:17:420:17:43

Lloyd and Hermione going for C,

0:17:460:17:47

Sam going for A.

0:17:470:17:49

The answer is...

0:17:490:17:50

C!

0:17:500:17:52

It's a duck's foot.

0:17:520:17:54

And that's because it looks like one.

0:17:540:17:56

It fired all four barrels at once,

0:17:560:17:57

so you were pretty likely to hit someone.

0:17:570:17:59

Only when it's loaded, though.

0:17:590:18:00

So that's a point for Lloyd and Hermione, which means

0:18:000:18:03

that Hermione and Sam have finished neck and neck again in this round.

0:18:030:18:07

Sorry, Lloyd. You're history again for a moment.

0:18:070:18:10

It's fingers on buzzers for Hermione and Sam. Your buzzer question...

0:18:100:18:14

Beginning with the letter C,

0:18:140:18:15

Pirate Captain Basil Hood once tried to steal

0:18:150:18:18

a herd of which animal?

0:18:180:18:20

-Sam?

-Cattle.

0:18:200:18:22

Cattle is the correct answer, Sam.

0:18:220:18:24

Help yourself to another year sphere.

0:18:240:18:27

Obviously, we don't know what's in any of these year spheres yet.

0:18:270:18:30

We'll find out right at the end of the show.

0:18:300:18:33

Sam, you are through to play the pirate game!

0:18:330:18:36

But will it be an all play or will it be a single play game?

0:18:360:18:40

It's an all play messy game!

0:18:430:18:47

So, off down the time sewer with the lot of you. Go on, Sam. Lead the way.

0:18:470:18:52

It's time to play...

0:19:040:19:05

This game is all about chests and keys.

0:19:080:19:10

To find the keys,

0:19:100:19:12

you have to follow the clues.

0:19:120:19:13

The first person to retrieve the treasure map

0:19:130:19:15

from inside their colour-coded chest will win the year sphere.

0:19:150:19:19

But be warned, it may not be as easy as it sounds.

0:19:190:19:23

In three, two, one!

0:19:230:19:24

HORN HOOTS

0:19:240:19:25

So here we go, then, with Pirate Treasure,

0:19:250:19:27

and I cannot emphasise enough

0:19:270:19:29

how important it is to read the instructions.

0:19:290:19:32

Without that, you will be hopelessly lost.

0:19:320:19:35

"If you want to find the loot, best look in some rotten fruit."

0:19:350:19:38

"Time to get yourself all mucky, swabbie's bucket is so yucky."

0:19:380:19:41

Those are the sort of things

0:19:410:19:43

that will tell you where your keys are.

0:19:430:19:46

And the thing I notice is that Hermione is looking

0:19:460:19:48

in the right coloured barrel.

0:19:480:19:50

She's in brown, the barrel has a brown stripe.

0:19:500:19:53

And Sam is also doing very well.

0:19:530:19:55

He's the first to find a key.

0:19:550:19:57

Gunge falling off that key from Hermione.

0:19:570:20:00

Well, it's a slow start

0:20:000:20:01

from Lloyd.

0:20:010:20:02

He's getting nowhere with that coat.

0:20:020:20:04

He's resorted to just shaking it about,

0:20:040:20:06

hoping that something's going to fall out of it.

0:20:060:20:08

But Hermione's in! She's through to the second chest.

0:20:080:20:11

Now, she has to read this one equally as carefully.

0:20:110:20:14

What's she got?

0:20:140:20:16

Ah! So she's off to the brown swabbie's bucket.

0:20:160:20:19

Sam just about to move on to his second clue.

0:20:190:20:22

And Lloyd is back in the game.

0:20:220:20:24

He's back in the game, he's found his first key.

0:20:240:20:27

Now, then. Let's have a look - what's Sam got there?

0:20:270:20:29

He's got an interesting clue there, which he's reading.

0:20:290:20:32

And which we're not seeing.

0:20:320:20:34

But Hermione, meantime, is into her swabbie's bucket.

0:20:340:20:37

Oh! That is absolutely revolting.

0:20:370:20:39

Ah! There, now. There's Sam's second clue.

0:20:390:20:41

So, he's after a bird that says pieces of eight.

0:20:410:20:43

Well, that is a parrot. Everyone knows that that is a parrot.

0:20:430:20:46

Now, Lloyd has his chest out

0:20:460:20:49

and he's after a green swabbie's bucket.

0:20:490:20:51

There goes Sam. Well, that's not a parrot, Sam!

0:20:510:20:53

That is a disappointing looking bag.

0:20:530:20:56

You're not going to find a parrot key in there. That's the wrong key.

0:20:560:20:59

Oh, dear! There's the parrot key, clear as day.

0:20:590:21:02

And Sam could be working away on that chest

0:21:020:21:05

for the best part of forever,

0:21:050:21:07

because he ain't going to get into it.

0:21:070:21:09

Meanwhile, Lloyd and Hermione really now in a two-way battle for this,

0:21:090:21:12

because Sam simply isn't going to realise

0:21:120:21:15

that his key's still round that parrots neck.

0:21:150:21:17

Hermione's struggling with her key and Lloyd is coming

0:21:170:21:20

with what can only be described as a late run here.

0:21:200:21:23

He's got his second one open, he's gone into the lead.

0:21:230:21:26

There's the third box. Now, where are the instructions?

0:21:260:21:28

He's looking all round him. There they are.

0:21:280:21:30

"If you want to find the loot, best look in some rotten fruit."

0:21:300:21:33

Well, that's fairly self-explanatory.

0:21:330:21:35

Self-explanatory and tasty.

0:21:350:21:37

He's got the green barrel, that's a good sign!

0:21:370:21:40

Is he going to find the key in the rotten fruit? He's found it!

0:21:400:21:43

This surely must be the end game for Lloyd here!

0:21:430:21:46

The others are still struggling around,

0:21:460:21:48

faffing around like amateur safebreakers,

0:21:480:21:50

like the amateur safebreakers that they actually are,

0:21:500:21:52

whereas Lloyd is about to win this game.

0:21:520:21:54

Got it!

0:21:540:21:56

It's over and Lloyd holds the treasure map aloft!

0:21:560:21:59

You're looking at one happy pirate. Wave it about, fella!

0:21:590:22:02

But mind the parrot.

0:22:020:22:04

Lloyd, go and grab yourself a year sphere.

0:22:040:22:06

Two spheres each, everybody. Well done.

0:22:060:22:09

Time for the final round.

0:22:090:22:11

Over to the gory grid one last time to find out who we've got.

0:22:110:22:14

It's the vile Victorians. Good day.

0:22:140:22:18

No quirky quiz in our final round.

0:22:180:22:20

It's straight to our big all play game.

0:22:200:22:23

Everyone, get down that time sewer.

0:22:230:22:26

Monstrous criminals would steal dead bodies and sell them to surgeons,

0:22:340:22:38

who'd experiment on them to find out more about how the human body works.

0:22:380:22:42

It's time to play...

0:22:420:22:43

You are a rotten robber.

0:22:450:22:46

Your challenge?

0:22:460:22:48

To steal three bodies from the graveyard,

0:22:480:22:50

get them through the railings, onto the carts,

0:22:500:22:52

find the key to the cemetery gate and get them onto the surgeon's table.

0:22:520:22:55

If you hear this noise...

0:22:550:22:57

WHISTLE

0:22:570:22:58

..then you must rush back to the cemetery and hide,

0:22:580:23:01

so the policeman doesn't spot you.

0:23:010:23:02

A second whistle means you can go again.

0:23:020:23:04

The first person to get all their bodies to the surgeon's table

0:23:040:23:07

and grab their dodgy money is the winner.

0:23:070:23:09

Three, two, one.

0:23:090:23:11

HORN HOOTS

0:23:110:23:13

So let's rob some graves!

0:23:130:23:14

And then donate the bodies to medical science, of course.

0:23:140:23:16

And Hermione is the first to show. Look at that!

0:23:160:23:19

Yanking that cadaver through those railings.

0:23:190:23:22

Sam also very quickly through with his corpse.

0:23:220:23:25

There's Lloyd, and his corpse has gone a bit floppy there,

0:23:250:23:27

but he's through nonetheless.

0:23:270:23:29

Dave, when I go, I want to be laid to rest

0:23:290:23:31

in a rusty baked bean can on a rubbish dump.

0:23:310:23:34

That can easily be arranged.

0:23:340:23:37

Very easily arranged, that is.

0:23:370:23:39

So Sam first through the gate.

0:23:390:23:41

Oh, copped a cobweb

0:23:410:23:42

right in the face, there.

0:23:420:23:43

That looked absolutely revolting.

0:23:430:23:45

Hermione through as well, thankfully unscathed, cobweb-wise.

0:23:450:23:50

Lloyd is also up and running.

0:23:500:23:52

He got his cemetery gate open, there.

0:23:520:23:54

Oh, and that corpse is alive! It's sitting up!

0:23:540:23:57

No, my... No, it's my mistake.

0:23:570:23:59

I'm being told it is not alive, it's just how it was left.

0:23:590:24:02

Well, that is a huge relief,

0:24:020:24:03

because I thought we had a reanimated corpse on our hands, there.

0:24:030:24:07

But I'm being told that it's not the case. Thank goodness for that!

0:24:070:24:11

Two corpses a piece now

0:24:110:24:13

for Hermione and Sam.

0:24:130:24:14

WHISTLE

0:24:140:24:15

And here comes the policeman! The policeman now has come

0:24:150:24:18

so they've got to get back behind those tombstones

0:24:180:24:20

and they've got to be quiet as mice.

0:24:200:24:21

Here he comes.

0:24:210:24:23

He's having a good look. He's on the beat.

0:24:230:24:26

That's what they call it, on the beat.

0:24:260:24:28

And he's not

0:24:280:24:30

the most observant policeman

0:24:300:24:31

in the world,

0:24:310:24:32

I can reveal.

0:24:320:24:34

What he's failed to spot is a corpse.

0:24:340:24:35

WHISTLE

0:24:350:24:36

But there's his second whistle

0:24:360:24:38

and that means you can go back to where you were in the game, people.

0:24:380:24:41

This is good! It's very, very close between Sam and Hermione.

0:24:410:24:44

You get the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Lloyd is not in this anymore.

0:24:440:24:47

But he's still valiantly wrestling with his corpse

0:24:470:24:50

through those railings.

0:24:500:24:51

There's a tremendously plucky effort from all three of them.

0:24:510:24:54

But this is where the real action is.

0:24:540:24:55

Sam's got his corpse by the hair!

0:24:550:24:57

Then by the neck!

0:24:570:24:58

Oh, these are ugly scenes

0:24:580:25:00

as Hermione

0:25:000:25:01

weaves in and out

0:25:010:25:02

of the highly topiary bushes,

0:25:020:25:03

delightful, of course, as they always have been.

0:25:030:25:06

But this is where it's all at! It looks like it's Hermione!

0:25:060:25:09

She's got the bag. What's she doing? She's stopped!

0:25:090:25:11

You've got to get down the other end! Oh, but Sam's realised

0:25:110:25:14

and he's through the railings and he's done it!

0:25:140:25:16

Sam has won it and Hermione has herself been robbed,

0:25:160:25:19

which is strangely appropriate in grave robbing.

0:25:190:25:23

Welcome back. Sam, help yourself to that year sphere.

0:25:260:25:29

Well played.

0:25:290:25:31

Very good.

0:25:310:25:32

That's all the year spheres awarded now.

0:25:320:25:34

Sam with three, Hermione with two, Lloyd with two.

0:25:340:25:38

Hermione, what happened there?

0:25:380:25:40

I forgot to go back into the graveyard.

0:25:400:25:43

Oh.

0:25:430:25:44

-Really annoying.

-Oh, very annoying.

0:25:440:25:45

-Sam?

-Just went for it.

0:25:450:25:47

-You went for it and you got it!

-Yeah.

0:25:470:25:49

You got that year sphere.

0:25:490:25:51

Right, it's time for that all important year sphere add up.

0:25:510:25:53

And remember - AD dates are added to your total

0:25:530:25:56

and BC dates are subtracted from it.

0:25:560:25:58

So Lloyd, let's start with your first year sphere.

0:25:580:26:01

1455 AD, start of the War Of The Roses.

0:26:010:26:04

Oh! 2.5 million BC!

0:26:040:26:09

Stone Age man started to use tools about then,

0:26:090:26:12

but that's no consolation whatsoever.

0:26:120:26:14

Hermione, let's have a look at your first sphere.

0:26:140:26:16

264 BC, the first Roman Gladiator games.

0:26:160:26:21

But it's not a disaster, let's have a look at the second one.

0:26:210:26:24

1086 AD. The Doomsday Book was completed that year.

0:26:240:26:29

That gives you a positive score of 822.

0:26:290:26:32

Sam, that's what you've got to beat.

0:26:320:26:34

Let's have a look at your first sphere.

0:26:340:26:36

1815 AD, the Battle of Waterloo.

0:26:360:26:39

Oh, no!

0:26:390:26:41

1.5 million BC. Stone Age man first used fire then - ish.

0:26:410:26:46

Let's have a look at the third one, anyway.

0:26:460:26:48

1042 AD, Edward the Confessor became King of England.

0:26:480:26:52

But it's too little too late.

0:26:520:26:54

Today's winner, with 822 points, is Hermione...

0:26:540:26:56

Yes!

0:26:560:26:57

..who goes home with our star prize!

0:26:570:26:59

Or, more likely, chucks it in the bin on her way out

0:26:590:27:01

because it's something that my furry friend

0:27:010:27:03

has fished out of the time sewers.

0:27:030:27:05

So what is it today, Rattus?

0:27:050:27:06

All the way from a Roman communal toilet,

0:27:060:27:10

it's your very own...

0:27:100:27:13

sponge-on-a-stick bottom wiper!

0:27:130:27:15

Oh, for heaven's sake, Rattus.

0:27:150:27:19

No, you can't give them that. It'll be covered in...

0:27:190:27:22

Don't worry, I made sure it was clean.

0:27:220:27:23

That makes it so much more palatable.

0:27:230:27:25

Just before I used it.

0:27:250:27:26

You dirty little rat!

0:27:260:27:28

Con-rat-ulations, Hermione!

0:27:280:27:30

Yes, well done, Hermione.

0:27:300:27:32

Congratulations. Don't... don't touch it too much. That's it.

0:27:320:27:35

Are you happy with that?

0:27:350:27:37

You strange individual.

0:27:370:27:39

It just remains for me to say thanks to our champion Hermione.

0:27:390:27:41

Thanks also to our gallant runners up, Lloyd and Sam,

0:27:410:27:44

and no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

0:27:440:27:46

Don't mention it.

0:27:460:27:47

You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.

0:27:470:27:51

# Was that show messy enough for you?

0:27:510:27:54

# Or would you have preferred a little more poo?

0:27:540:27:57

# Have you had your fill of blood, guts and gore?

0:27:570:27:59

# Or have we left you still wanting more?

0:27:590:28:02

# Well, keep watching We'll be back again

0:28:020:28:06

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

0:28:060:28:09

# Horrible Histories Gory...

0:28:090:28:12

# Games! #

0:28:120:28:13

It is time for one of Rattus' favourite games - the Middle Ages Pig Piano. Part musical instrument, part Sunday lunch! Contestants have to repeat the Piggy squeals in the right order, or something unspeakable will happen.