Episode 8 HH: Gory Games


Episode 8

Quirky quizzes and gory games. Melissa, Ella and Ashley battle it out to win Year Spheres in games, including Savage Seige and Gong Farming.


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Transcript


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Rattus? Rattus! Anybody seen Rattus?

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Have you seen Rattus? I've looked everywhere for him.

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The show's about to start.

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HE SIGHS

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# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

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# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

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# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

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# You'd better turn off This show ain't for you

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# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

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# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

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# Horrible Histories Gory...

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# ..Games! #

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Hello and welcome to Gory Games.

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I'm Dave Lamb and this is...

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Well, there's no Rattus Rattus.

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I'm afraid he's gone missing and I have no idea where he is.

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RATTUS PANTS

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I'm so sorry I'm late.

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I've been on holiday in the Saxon era

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and on my way back there was a blockage in the Time Sewer.

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Henry VIII had had this particularly big lunch

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-and he'd...

-All right, too much information!

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Let's crack on and meet today's Horrible Historians.

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Hi, my name's Melissa and I'm from London.

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CHEERING

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My name is Ella and I'm from Manchester.

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CHEERING

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Hello, my name is Ashley and I'm from Essex.

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CHEERING

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Welcome, everyone. Right, you lot are here to win Year Spheres.

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The person with the highest year score at the end of the show

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will win a prize that Rattus has dredged out of the Time Sewer.

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And where better to find a prize?

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Well, pretty much anywhere.

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Anyway, time to crack on with round one.

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Let's find out what it's about by going over to the Gory Grid.

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It's the Groovy Greeks.

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So, four questions, then, on the Groovy Greeks coming up.

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The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

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Your four Greek topics are...

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So, Melissa, it is your turn to pick first.

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Which of those would you like?

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-Apples, please.

-Apples?

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Let's hear that question.

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In Ancient Greece, why would you throw an apple at someone?

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-A - to get their attention.

-Cooee!

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B - to declare your love for them.

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-C - to tell them they smell.

-Eugh!

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Let's have a look at your answers, please.

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Ah, interesting.

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Melissa thinks it's C, the other two think it's B.

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What is the answer?

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The answer is B. In Ancient Greece,

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throwing an apple at someone was a declaration of love.

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Yeah, a pretty girl threw an apple at me once.

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Was it love?

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No, she set shouted, "Get out of my kitchen, you disgusting rat!"

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So, that is a point each for Ella and Ashley. A good start.

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Pick a topic, please, Ella.

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Tyrants, please.

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How did Ancient Greek tyrant Cleisthenes of Sicyon

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defeat the town of Kryssia?

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A - by diverting a river through the town,

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B - by setting the town alight,

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C - by giving all the inhabitants diarrhoea.

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Let's have a look at your answers, please.

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Melissa thinks its C, Ella and Ashley agreeing again on B.

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Some sort of psychic thing going on there. Let's find out the answer.

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The answer is C,

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Cleisthenes contaminated their water supply with laxatives so when

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all the inhabitants were weakened with diarrhoea, he took the city.

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Oh-oh-oh!

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I'm not sure you'd want it after that.

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RATTUS LAUGHS That's a fair point, actually.

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A very fair point. Well done, Melissa,

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you're straight back into the game.

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Ashley, it's your turn to pick.

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Can I have beans, please?

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You can have beans.

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That is a question, unsurprisingly really, from Rattus Rattus.

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Eh? Is it? Oh. Oh, here we go.

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Why would some Ancient Greeks not eat beans?

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Because they thought they contained...

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Show me now, please.

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Ah, in total agreement there.

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Everybody thinks it's A. What's the answer, Rattus?

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Well, the answer is...

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I'm afraid its C.

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Yes, some Ancient Greeks wouldn't eat beans as they thought

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they contained the souls of the dead.

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HE CACKLES

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HE SPLUTTERS

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The beans you eat contain the wind of the dead.

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RATTUS FARTS Oh!

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DAVE COUGHS Unnecessary!

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All to play for here. One topic left.

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Philosophers is our final category.

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How did Ancient Greek philosopher Empedocles try to prove

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he was a god?

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A - by walking on water,

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B - by fighting an army all by himself,

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C - by jumping into a volcano.

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Show me your answers, please.

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They all think it's A this time.

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What's the answer?

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The answer is C.

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He jumped into a volcano thinking he would come back as a god.

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Presumably the god of total idiots.

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RATTUS LAUGHS Thanks, Rattus.

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OK, well, there we go. That's the end of the round

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and we can see that we have gone straight to a tie-breaker situation.

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Fingers on those buzzers.

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Buzz in as soon as you think you know the answer.

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Beginning with the letter A,

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what was the name of the Ancient Greek city which is still

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their capital today?

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-Ella.

-Athens.

-Athens is right.

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Well done, Ella.

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You have won the first Year Sphere.

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Which means it's time for me to say...

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all hail the...

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HE MUMBLES

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Help yourself, Ella.

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I hope you chose wisely.

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So do I, because AD dates will be added to your total score

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but BC dates will be subtracted from it.

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There it is, sitting on the plinth.

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We'll find out what's in there later on.

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Now, winning the Greek quiz means that Ella's automatically

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through to play the Greek game.

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But will she be alone or will the others get to play, too?

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Let's find out.

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Oh, it's a single-player game, Ella,

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so, off you go down that Time Sewer on your own, please.

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Ew!

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SHE GAGS

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There's no such thing as a free lunch.

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Unless you're playing...

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Spartans started school at seven.

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The age, not the time.

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Thank you, Rattus. And spying and sneaking was on the turntable.

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Your lesson today is to practise stealing food from a sleeping

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soldier. Climb through the vines but watch the bells.

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Three rings and you'll get more than detention.

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Your time starts in...

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FOGHORN HONKS

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OK, Ella, time to get sneaking. Ah, Rattus, she's taking the low road.

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-We've seen that work before.

-I'm a big fan of the low road, Dave.

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I've heard that rumour.

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She's moving very carefully, which is essential, of course.

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BELL TINKLES Oh, there's bell number one.

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There's a little tinkle. Ooh, he's waking up.

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-And he's fallen asleep.

-Yup, that's called stirring, Rattus.

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Come on, Ella, you can get this food.

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-You really oughtn't to steal food...

-No, that's quite right,

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-Rattus, actually.

-No, you should wait until the teacher chucks them

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-in the bin.

-That's not quite what I meant.

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BELL TINKLES Oh, there's bell number two!

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Well, she's going to have to be very careful now.

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Still persisting with this low trajectory.

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In fact, she couldn't get any lower than that.

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Although, it looks like she's going slightly off-piste here, Rattus.

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Nope, she's just having a sit down.

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Yup, this is a break, I think.

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-This is officially a break.

-Oh, she's going for the under-leg.

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Oh, hang on a minute. I don't like the look of this

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and there's bell number three! And now it's time for her to run.

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Ooh, he's an aggrieved teacher.

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He really is. Ella escapes back up the tunnel without lunch

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or a Year Sphere. Penny for your thoughts, Ella.

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When I froze, I was thinking maybe he didn't hear it.

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But when he did, I was just like, "Oh, no."

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So I had to run away.

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Bad luck.

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No Year Sphere for you this time.

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-What's that, Rattus?

-Hm?

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Oh, you don't think I'd go on holiday to Saxon times

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and not bring you back a present?

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Oh, you shouldn't have!

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Oh, you really shouldn't have!

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It a Saxon maw-worm.

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-Eugh!

-Saxon Britain was very, very dirty. Mm!

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Which is why it's my favourite holiday destination.

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-Of course it is.

-Oh, come on, Dave, give Mawy a home.

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You've room for one little Saxon parasite in your guts.

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Not going to happen.

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He's all stomach trained and everything.

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N-O!

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Oh, don't worry, Mawy, Rattus still loves you.

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Onto round two. And to find out what's up next,

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it's over to the Gory Grid.

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It's the Measly Middle Ages.

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Mm! And here are your all-important Middle Ages topics.

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So, Ella, it is your turn to pick a topic first this time.

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-What'll you have?

-Crusades, please.

-Crusades.

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That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

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Certainly is.

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True or false -

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when off on a long crusade,

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a knight would often take an old woman with him.

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Is that true or is that false?

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Let's have a look at your answers, please.

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Everyone thinks it's true. What's the answer, Rattus?

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It's true.

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Knights would often force old women to come with them on their crusades

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to do their washing,

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find and cook their food and get rid of their nits.

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-That is shocking.

-Isn't it?

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Why would you want to get rid of your nits?

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-MAWY SQUEAKS

-What's that, Mawy?

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-MAWY SQUEAKS

-Yes? Mawy says,

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"Be nice to parasites."

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This is turning into a bit of a nightmare for me.

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-Ashley, it's your turn to pick a topic.

-Can I have crimes, please?

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You certainly can. What's that question?

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True or false - an Early Middle Ages method for seeing

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if someone was guilty of a crime was to see

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if they'd choke on a slice of bread and cheese.

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Is that true or is that false? Show me now.

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Everyone thinks it's false. What's the answer?

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It's true.

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It was called trial by sacred morsel.

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If you choked on the food, you were guilty.

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Which reminds me, Rattus,

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did you steal a sandwich from my dressing room?

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-Guilty.

-Oh, Rattus!

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No points for anyone that time, I'm afraid.

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Melissa, your turn to pick.

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I choose myths, please.

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Myths it is. Let's hear that question.

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True or false -

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in the Early Middle Ages, people believed that

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rheumatism was caused by invisible dragons biting you.

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Show me now, please.

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Melissa and Ella both think it's false.

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But Ashley thinks that is true.

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-What's the answer?

-It's...

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false. We believed that rheumatism

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was caused by elves firing tiny little arrows at you.

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-Boo!

-Which makes an awful lot more sense.

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Not!

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Melissa and Ella, a point apiece there. One topic left.

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The last topic is toothache.

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True or false, an Early Middle Ages cure for toothache was to boil

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a holly leaf, lay it on a saucer of water, raise it to your mouth

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and belch.

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They've all gone for true. What's the answer?

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It's false.

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As if that'd work!

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You have to raise a saucer to your mouth and yawn.

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-Then it works.

-Of course you do!

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Duh.

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OK, no points for anyone there,

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and looking at the abacus

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we can see that we're about to

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enter a tie-breaker situation.

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OK, this is between Melissa and Ella.

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Beginning with the letter D,

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what was the name of the special doors to castles that could be

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raised and lowered across the moat or keep invaders out.

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-Melissa?

-Drawbridges.

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Drawbridges! Absolutely right.

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Well played, Melissa.

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Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

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Look at that. The agony of choice.

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What's in there? We'll find out later.

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OK, Melissa's through to play the Middle Ages game.

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But will it be just her or will the others get to play along, too?

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Let's find out.

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It's an all-play game,

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so it's off to down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

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Lead them off, Ashley.

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-It stinks in here! Bleugh!

-It really does.

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Bye, Dave!

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Ooh! This is gross.

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It is g-ross.

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It's the Middle Ages and you're laying siege to a castle.

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And what better way of getting them to let you in than

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by catapulting a whole load of foul things at them?

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It's time to play...

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You've got to catapult in rocks, rotten meat

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and some lovely horse heads.

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The Year Sphere goes to the person who fires the most

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missiles into their fortress target within the time limit.

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Your time starts in...

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FOGHORN HONKS Let's get sieging!

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Oh, do you know, Dave, this may be my favourite game.

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-Oh, yeah, why's that?

-Well, it's all the delicious leftovers.

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I see where you're coming from.

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Everyone misses with that opening volley there.

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But they're back for seconds. Ashley opting for some rotting meat there.

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Why are they flinging the rotten meat, Dave?

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-Is that to feed the rats?

-No, Rattus, it's to spread disease.

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I thought that was my job.

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Well, sadly it is in a lot of places,

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and Melissa's off the mark.

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Excellent. She draws first blood.

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Can Ashley match her with this pebble?

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Oh, I think not!

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I think not, too, that could be in the middle of next week, I think.

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There's a lot of firing going on but not too much scoring.

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Oh, I spoke too soon there.

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That rock rings Ella level with Melissa on one apiece.

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30 seconds remaining.

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Oh, 30 seconds to go already

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and Melissa takes a 2-1 lead.

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Surely that could be unassailable in a low-scoring game such as this.

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-What can the others do about it, Rattus?

-Er...work harder?

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Yes, that's a good thing.

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Do you know, another way to take a castle was to dig a tunnel

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underneath it, cause it to collapse.

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Well, then you get a castle that's collapsed.

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I mean, what's the point of that?

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I don't know, they didn't think it through.

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Melissa still holding a 2-1 lead here.

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There's a horse's head Ashley's lining up now.

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What a revolting thought that is. FOGHORN HONKS

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That skips underneath.

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It's all over, Melissa's won it,

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and I for one would like to hear about her tactical approach.

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My strategy was to do smallest to largest,

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so I first went with the rocks, then the ham and then the horses' heads.

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I was actually really close to Melissa

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and it was really frustrating when she got another one

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and I kind of just knew that I wouldn't get another one.

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My worst thing was the chopped-off horses,

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which are painstaking to look at.

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Back you come, back you come, back you come.

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Well done, Melissa, help yourself, help yourself.

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Dave, Dave, I actually got you another present.

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Ah.

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-Well, it doesn't SOUND disgusting anyway.

-Yep.

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And on it goes.

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Thanks, Rattus, appreciate it.

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Round three.

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And it's over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

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It's the Savage Stone Age.

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So, four questions, as always,

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and here are your four Savage Stone Age topics.

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So, Ashley, it's your turn to lead us off this time.

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Which one do you want?

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-Wolves, please.

-Wolves.

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Let's hear that question.

0:15:290:15:31

True or false. Some Stone Age people used wolves to help hunt.

0:15:310:15:36

Show me now, please.

0:15:360:15:38

Wow, everyone thinks it's true. Let's find out.

0:15:380:15:41

It's...

0:15:410:15:42

true. Stone Age people tamed some wolves.

0:15:420:15:46

Wolf chase prey, people kill prey.

0:15:460:15:49

-WOLVES YELP

-Rah!

0:15:490:15:51

Make good team.

0:15:510:15:53

Clever.

0:15:530:15:54

That's right.

0:15:540:15:56

All dogs were descended from wolves that were tamed by Stone Agers.

0:15:560:16:01

Well, it's easy to believe with an Alsatian.

0:16:010:16:04

Hard to believe with a Chihuahua.

0:16:040:16:06

Yeah, they're basically rats on stilts.

0:16:060:16:08

-MAWY SQUEAKS

-What's that, Mawy?

0:16:080:16:10

That's an insult to rats? Yes,...

0:16:100:16:12

That's an insult to rats!

0:16:120:16:14

DAVE SIGHS Great.

0:16:140:16:15

Melissa, your turn to pick a topic.

0:16:150:16:18

I choose funerals, please.

0:16:180:16:20

Funerals, that is a prop question.

0:16:200:16:23

Ooh, prop question.

0:16:230:16:24

-# Prop question!

-Prop question!

0:16:240:16:26

# Prop question! #

0:16:260:16:27

Nice prop, huh?

0:16:270:16:29

Not a bad prop at all.

0:16:290:16:30

True or false, Stone Agers in Sweden helped their dead

0:16:300:16:34

into the afterlife by firing arrows into the sky.

0:16:340:16:38

Is that true or is that false? Show me now, please.

0:16:380:16:41

Well, everybody thinks it's true. I can tell you...

0:16:410:16:44

it's only false.

0:16:440:16:46

Sorry about that.

0:16:460:16:47

They used to shoot arrows into their corpses to help them

0:16:470:16:51

into the afterlife, of course.

0:16:510:16:53

Right, Ella, your go.

0:16:530:16:55

-Furniture, please.

-Furniture it is.

0:16:550:16:57

What's that question?

0:16:570:16:59

True or false - Stone Age people in Orkney Islands make furniture

0:16:590:17:03

out of stone.

0:17:030:17:05

Is that true or is that false?

0:17:050:17:07

Let's have a look.

0:17:070:17:08

-They all think it's true. What's the answer?

-It's...

0:17:080:17:11

true. They make furniture made out of stone and make stone beds, too.

0:17:110:17:16

Nice. Comfy.

0:17:160:17:19

If you say so. Well done.

0:17:190:17:21

There's a point apiece there.

0:17:210:17:23

This is an extremely close round.

0:17:230:17:26

The final topic is Neanderthals.

0:17:260:17:28

True or false - Neanderthal people had low, gravelly voices.

0:17:290:17:35

Is that true or is that false?

0:17:350:17:37

Disagreement. Melissa and Ashley think it's false

0:17:370:17:40

but Ella thinks it's true.

0:17:400:17:41

What's the answer?

0:17:410:17:43

It's...

0:17:430:17:44

false. Neanderthal people had high-pitched, squeaky voices.

0:17:440:17:49

So, that's points to Melissa and Ashley.

0:17:490:17:52

The throat of Neanderthals is shorter than that of a human

0:17:520:17:56

and they had deep rib cages and large nasal cavities, meaning...

0:17:560:17:59

HE MAKES VOICE SQUEAKY ..they had very squeaky voices.

0:17:590:18:03

-RATTUS CHUCKLES

-That's a great Neanderthal impression, Dave.

0:18:030:18:06

That's the face, not the voice.

0:18:060:18:09

Congratulations, though, at the end of that round we can see

0:18:090:18:12

Melissa and Ashley are in a tie-break situation.

0:18:120:18:16

-WHISPERS:

-It's a tie-break situation!

-Here we go.

0:18:180:18:20

Are you ready for this?

0:18:200:18:21

Beginning with the letter M,

0:18:210:18:23

what was the name of the huge, hairy elephant-like animal...

0:18:230:18:27

-Melissa.

-Mammoth.

0:18:270:18:28

For the viewers at home, beginning with the letter M, what was the name

0:18:280:18:31

of the huge, hairy elephant-like animals that were hunted by cavemen?

0:18:310:18:34

Mammoths is absolutely right. Well done, Melissa.

0:18:340:18:37

Help yourself to another Year Sphere. Bad luck, Ashley.

0:18:370:18:40

Very close, that.

0:18:400:18:41

There we go.

0:18:430:18:44

Let's hope it's a nice AD date.

0:18:440:18:47

So, Melissa, as the winner of the Stone Age quiz,

0:18:470:18:50

is through to play the Stone Age game.

0:18:500:18:51

But will it be just her or is everyone coming along?

0:18:510:18:54

Let's find out.

0:18:540:18:55

Oh, it's a single-player game, Melissa.

0:18:570:18:59

So that means you're down the Time Sewer on your own.

0:18:590:19:02

Poo-wee!

0:19:050:19:06

Poo-wee!

0:19:060:19:07

It's the Stone Age,

0:19:090:19:10

when stones were just about the only thing people didn't eat.

0:19:100:19:13

Certainly no-one turned down a delicacy like the half-digested

0:19:130:19:16

food in a mega bear stomach.

0:19:160:19:19

-Mm!

-Mmm! So let's play...

0:19:190:19:21

All you have to do is fish out some dainty treats

0:19:240:19:27

in the form of the half-digested food in its stomach.

0:19:270:19:30

Put each half-chewed abomination by the right cave painting

0:19:300:19:34

and make sure you do it before the other mega bears turn up.

0:19:340:19:37

Go!

0:19:410:19:42

So, Melissa dives right in there,

0:19:420:19:45

getting up to her elbows,

0:19:450:19:46

and already she's got something.

0:19:460:19:48

It's a foot.

0:19:480:19:49

It's a foot. I wonder who that belongs to.

0:19:490:19:51

-Probably a one-legged caveman.

-Well, that's true.

0:19:510:19:54

That is true enough. In the bin it goes. She's back for more.

0:19:540:19:56

Having a really good root around in there.

0:19:560:19:59

What's she found? Oh, it's a rat!

0:19:590:20:01

Ooh, quick, Melissa, check his pulse.

0:20:010:20:03

-Can you feel a heartbeat?

-I'm afraid it's gone, Rattus.

0:20:030:20:06

Well, it's gone on the caveman's dinner table,

0:20:060:20:08

and Melissa is back and she's found a length of intestine,

0:20:080:20:11

which needs to get thrown out, and that is what she's done.

0:20:110:20:14

Cheekily wiping her hands, there, on the mega bear's pelt.

0:20:140:20:17

In she goes again. A fish this time.

0:20:180:20:21

That's nice. We can use that.

0:20:210:20:22

We've got two more items.

0:20:220:20:24

We need the horse's hoof and we need the cabbage. What's she got here?

0:20:240:20:26

-That looks cabbagey.

-Cabbagey!

0:20:260:20:28

It is cabbagey. It's so cabbagey, in fact, it's a cabbage.

0:20:280:20:32

She just needs a horse's hoof now.

0:20:320:20:34

In she goes again,

0:20:340:20:36

returning once again to the gore that is a mega bear's innards.

0:20:360:20:39

Look at the look of determination on her face!

0:20:390:20:42

She's yanking away there, it looks like the ribcage is going to go.

0:20:420:20:45

But it's a hoof!

0:20:450:20:47

It's a hoof!

0:20:470:20:49

And that means that Melissa has managed to empty the mega bear

0:20:490:20:53

successfully and can enjoy a lovely picnic. Top celebration.

0:20:530:20:57

What was it actually like in there?

0:20:570:20:59

Inside the bear it was really gooey

0:20:590:21:01

and I don't recommend going inside a bear

0:21:010:21:05

cos it's, first of all, unhygienic

0:21:050:21:08

and disgusting at the same time.

0:21:080:21:10

Just like Rattus!

0:21:100:21:12

Well played, Melissa. Well played indeed.

0:21:120:21:14

Help yourself to another Year Sphere.

0:21:140:21:17

Excellent stuff.

0:21:190:21:20

Well done. Just excuse me.

0:21:210:21:23

-You hungry, Dave?

-Yeah.

0:21:240:21:26

I didn't get a chance to eat before the show.

0:21:270:21:30

-I was too busy looking for you.

-Oh.

0:21:300:21:32

Mawy?

0:21:320:21:34

Mawy?

0:21:340:21:36

Has anyone seen Mawy?

0:21:360:21:37

Oh, Dave!

0:21:390:21:42

You've swallowed him.

0:21:420:21:43

-Eh?

-You've decided to give him a home after all.

0:21:440:21:49

Oh, no!

0:21:490:21:50

-Eugh!

-I'm just joking, Dave.

0:21:510:21:53

I'm just joking.

0:21:530:21:55

I love maw-worms.

0:21:550:21:57

-Especially for supper.

-HE CACKLES

0:21:570:22:00

You ate him?!

0:22:000:22:01

HE BELCHES

0:22:010:22:03

I'm going to take that as a yes.

0:22:030:22:05

It's the final round

0:22:050:22:06

so it's over to the Gory Grid to find out what we've got.

0:22:060:22:09

It's the Rotten Romans.

0:22:100:22:13

It's the Rotten Romans. The final chance to win a Year Sphere.

0:22:130:22:17

-Are you up for it?

-Yes.

-Yes, they are.

0:22:170:22:20

Get down that Time Sewer, then, the lot of you. Mind yourself. Go

0:22:200:22:23

-Whee! It stinks in here, though!

-Eugh. Oh.

-It stinks.

0:22:240:22:31

Roman farmers would pay good money for smelly fertiliser.

0:22:340:22:38

So you could clean up by getting very messy.

0:22:380:22:41

It's time to go...

0:22:410:22:42

Stercus is what Romans called poo.

0:22:450:22:48

So, slop some stercus up from the cesspit, carry it along your lane

0:22:480:22:52

and plop it into your measuring cylinder.

0:22:520:22:54

Whoever collects the most bags the Year Sphere.

0:22:540:22:57

Hold your noses, if you can. In...

0:22:570:23:00

FOGHORN HONKS

0:23:030:23:05

-Let's get pooey!

-Indeed.

0:23:050:23:07

And Ashley is the first to show, with his bag of stercus.

0:23:070:23:12

Ah, but it's Melissa flying out the other end first.

0:23:120:23:15

Terrific approach, that.

0:23:150:23:17

They're both on the board

0:23:170:23:18

and Ella taking a slightly more cautious approach.

0:23:180:23:21

That could be wise, for it is not about how fast you go, it is

0:23:210:23:25

about how much poo you deliver.

0:23:250:23:27

Oh, that was my school motto.

0:23:270:23:28

And what a school that must have been.

0:23:280:23:31

This game, Ashley, gives you a snapshot of Roman life, you know.

0:23:310:23:34

Otherwise known as rat heaven.

0:23:340:23:36

Yes, indeed. Ashley dropping off bag number two.

0:23:360:23:39

But it doesn't look like he had much in there.

0:23:390:23:41

Unlike Melissa, who delivers a proper payload. Ella, of course,

0:23:410:23:46

taking her time here.

0:23:460:23:47

Is this going to prove to be a great strategy, Rattus?

0:23:470:23:50

Oh, er, it's too early to tell, I'd say, Dave.

0:23:500:23:53

I think you're right there.

0:23:530:23:54

She's certainly got some out the other end.

0:23:540:23:56

But it has to be Melissa who has the lead at the moment.

0:23:560:24:00

And hang on. Hang on. What's happening here?

0:24:000:24:02

Ashley's struggling to get up onto the lane proper.

0:24:020:24:06

I mean, he seems to have disappeared.

0:24:060:24:08

-What is going on here, Rattus?

-He's just rolling around in it.

0:24:080:24:11

He seems to be satisfied with just rolling...

0:24:110:24:14

Oh! And talking of rolling around

0:24:140:24:17

in it, that's what Ella's going to be doing for a while.

0:24:170:24:20

That is what you call a wipe-out.

0:24:200:24:23

Wipe being the operative word

0:24:230:24:24

because she's going to need to be wiped down afterwards.

0:24:240:24:27

She's down again.

0:24:270:24:28

This is what's going to happen here.

0:24:280:24:29

I don't think there's going to be an awful lot more stercus delivered.

0:24:290:24:32

Melissa struggling gamely there, but has fallen down, too.

0:24:320:24:37

Ella rolling about.

0:24:370:24:38

Ashley's been rolling about since about halfway through!

0:24:380:24:40

Oh, that was quite a slidey bit at the end. Will this count for Ella?

0:24:400:24:44

This could be important.

0:24:440:24:46

Well, that makes it very close indeed.

0:24:460:24:48

The time is up and once they've all finished sliding around

0:24:480:24:52

we're going to need to look at these levels.

0:24:520:24:54

We're going to have to look very closely. There's Ashley.

0:24:540:24:57

I think he's out of it.

0:24:570:24:58

Ella does nicely.

0:24:580:24:59

But it's Melissa who takes it, by about a thumbnail's width.

0:24:590:25:02

How did that feel?

0:25:020:25:03

I feel really, really happy.

0:25:030:25:05

Happy but pooey.

0:25:050:25:06

Oh, that is one of the closest games we have ever seen on this programme.

0:25:060:25:12

Amazing. But, Melissa, you did it again.

0:25:120:25:15

You've now got yourself a full podium.

0:25:150:25:18

But of course that doesn't necessarily mean she has won.

0:25:180:25:21

Everything is still to play for

0:25:210:25:23

because we are about to count up those Year Spheres.

0:25:230:25:27

And remember - AD dates are added to your total, BC dates are subtracted

0:25:270:25:32

from it. Melissa, start us off, please.

0:25:320:25:35

Open that first Year Sphere up for me, please.

0:25:350:25:38

Oh, and it's started off badly, I'm afraid.

0:25:380:25:40

4,000 BC.

0:25:400:25:43

Cattle were domesticated for the first time around about then.

0:25:430:25:46

OK, but you've got enough

0:25:460:25:48

Year Spheres to come back from that.

0:25:480:25:49

Let's have a look at the second one.

0:25:490:25:51

That's 1775 AD,

0:25:530:25:55

the American Revolution began

0:25:550:25:56

that year.

0:25:560:25:57

Let's have a look at number three.

0:25:570:25:59

Oh, it's good again. 1914 AD, the Christmas truce during World War I

0:26:010:26:07

happened that year.

0:26:070:26:09

Let's have a look at number four.

0:26:090:26:11

Yes, it's all heading the right way here. 1471 AD,

0:26:110:26:15

the death of Pachacuti was that year.

0:26:150:26:18

And now, let's have a look at this crucial fifth one.

0:26:180:26:21

Oh, it's another AD!

0:26:210:26:22

It's another AD.

0:26:220:26:24

1558 AD, Queen Elizabeth I

0:26:240:26:28

ascended to the throne that year.

0:26:280:26:30

You got loads of points.

0:26:300:26:31

Let's have a look at your one, Ella.

0:26:310:26:33

Come on, let's open it up anyway.

0:26:330:26:34

Yup, it's 1861 AD.

0:26:360:26:38

The death of Queen Victoria's husband Prince Albert was that year.

0:26:380:26:43

Ashley, you were waiting there on nought in case the others

0:26:430:26:46

had been negative, but they weren't,

0:26:460:26:48

which means that today's winner, with 2,718 points, is Melissa.

0:26:480:26:54

And are you going to love your prize?

0:26:540:26:57

No, because it's something that Rattus has found

0:26:570:27:00

bobbing around in the Time Sewer.

0:27:000:27:02

Oh, Dave, you've really put your foot in it this time.

0:27:020:27:05

Quite literally, because it's a Mayan sandal.

0:27:050:27:08

Well, it looks OK.

0:27:080:27:10

Oh, smells of wee!

0:27:100:27:12

Of course it does.

0:27:120:27:13

The Maya said you should wee on a sandal

0:27:130:27:15

and drink it to cure a heavy cold.

0:27:150:27:17

Certainly works for me.

0:27:170:27:19

And you alone.

0:27:190:27:20

-There you go, Melissa.

-Thank you.

-Congratulations.

0:27:200:27:22

A sandal covered in wee - what a prize!

0:27:220:27:25

But at least it's only wee, as our two runners-up have to go

0:27:250:27:28

home through the Time Sewer.

0:27:280:27:30

Oh, bad luck, you two.

0:27:300:27:32

-Thanks for playing.

-No, not again! Oh!

0:27:320:27:34

HE SQUEALS

0:27:360:27:38

Good luck down there, you lot. Try not to swallow any of it.

0:27:390:27:43

-Why not?

-For the obvious reasons.

0:27:430:27:45

SHE SQUEALS

0:27:450:27:47

I've been Rattus Rattus.

0:27:500:27:52

I've been Dave Lamb.

0:27:520:27:53

-And he's been Mawy.

-MAWY SQUEAKS

0:27:530:27:56

You've been watching Gory Games.

0:27:560:27:58

-Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

0:27:580:27:59

# Games! #

0:27:590:28:00

Melissa, Ella and Ashley battle it out to win Year Spheres in games, including Savage Seige and Gong Farming. If you're of a nervous disposition or easily shocked, this show ain't for you.


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