Ernie'n Cael Ail Holi Hana


Ernie'n Cael Ail

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-# If you're a sad duck in the park

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-# Or a bear who's scared of the dark

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-# If you're a stressed out bat,

-then hark!

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-# Call Hana's Helpline.

-You'll be fine

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-# Moo, baa,

-double quack, double quack

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-# Hana's always here

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-# Moo, baa,

-double quack, double quack

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-# She makes problems disappear

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-# If you're a bird

-who can't get off the ground

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-# Or an owl who makes an awful sound

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-# Or a giraffe

-with the longest neck around

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-# Call Hana's Helpline.

-You'll be fine

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-# Moo, baa,

-double quack, double quack

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-# Hana's always here

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-# Moo, baa,

-double quack, double quack

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-# She makes problems disappear #

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-Hello. My name's Ernie.

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-I was always being compared

-to my perfect cousin.

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-Jeremy!

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-Hurry, Ernie, or we'll be late

-for school and we'll be in trouble.

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-I'm so scared.

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-Ernie.

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-Ernie.

-

-Present.

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-Is this your cousin? Jeremy's

-staying with us for a while.

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-Pleased to meet you, Mrs Winger.

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-I've brought you an apple.

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-I've brought you an apple.

-

-Thank you.

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-I brought you one, too,

-but I ate it.

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-Why can't you be like

-your cousin Jeremy?

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-He's so thoughtful.

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-This car needs a wash but not now.

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-There are more important things

-to do.

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-I thought you might like a cuppa.

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-You're an angel.

-That's exactly what I wanted.

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-I thought you might like a biscuit.

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-Thank you, Owen.

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-Look, they're covered in chocolate.

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-Am I an angel, too?

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-This isn't a competition.

-I like both of you.

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-I suppose.

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-Look.

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-Look.

-

-Where?

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-He shoots, he scores.

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-Aw! My knee.

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-It's just a scratch, Muzzy.

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-Come on, let's get on with the game.

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-It's not a little scratch, Ernie.

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-It's a big scratch. It hurts.

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-I'll tell you what, Muzzy,

-jump on my back and I'll take you...

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-..to get a plaster.

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-Why can't you be more like Jeremy?

-He's so kind.

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-Aw!

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-Ha-ha!

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-Thank you, Jeremy.

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-Thank you, Jeremy.

-

-My pleasure.

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-Why can't you be more like Jeremy?

-He's kind.

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-Ernie,

-don't flick paper towards Jeremy.

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-I didn't.

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-I saw you.

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-ERNIE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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-LAUGHTER

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-Pack it in, Ernie.

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-Pack it in, Ernie.

-

-It wasn't me, it was Jeremy.

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-Liar!

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-I know exactly who it was,

-don't I, Ernie?

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-I really give up with you, Ernie,

-I really do.

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-Why can't you be more like Jeremy?

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-He's a good boy.

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-Teacher's pet.

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-SCHOOLBELL

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-If you're a little animal

-with a big problem...

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-..phone Hana on moo, baa,

-double quack, double quack.

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-Hana, I know you didn't want

-to hurt Beti's feeling earlier...

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-..but you like me the best,

-don't you?

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-Owen, I already told you.

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-I have no favourites.

-I like both of you.

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-Of course, of course.

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-I understand. It'll be our secret.

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-PHONE RINGS

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-Hello, Hana's Helpline.

-Owen speaking. How can I help you?

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-I'm fed up. I'm always being

-compared to my perfect cousin.

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-What can I do?

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-I sympathize with you.

-I had a cousin - Goody-poo!

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-He's good at everything.

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-Why don't you do something that

-will attract attention to yourself?

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-I don't mean playing the fool -

-do something to attract attention.

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-Then everyone will forget

-about your cousin.

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-Hey, look at me. I'm Mrs Winger.

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-Ernie!

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-I don't think that's funny. Put

-those sausages back on your plate.

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-Don't be so naughty, Ernie.

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-I feel so ashamed of you.

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-Why don't you belt up,

-goody two shoes!

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-Make me.

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-Stop it, you two.

-I won't stand for this.

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-Ernie, go and stand

-in the corridor to cool down.

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-Moo, baa,

-double quack, double quack.

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-I'm off out for my lunch.

-I'll see you soon.

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-I know you didn't want

-to hurt Owen's feelings...

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-..but I'm your favourite, aren't I?

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-I told Owen and I'm telling you,

-I don't have any favourites.

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-I like both of you just the same.

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-PHONE RINGS

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-Hana's Helpline, Hana speaking.

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-Hana's Helpline, Hana speaking.

-

-This is Ernie.

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-I followed Owen's advice and I did

-something to attract attention.

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-I only ended up

-getting into trouble.

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-That's such a pity.

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-Come and meet me after school

-and we'll have a chat.

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-Thanks for helping me with my sums.

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-No problems.

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-Why don't you come over for tea?

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-I'm fed up.

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-Everyone compares me to Jeremy.

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-Because I'm the good one and you're

-the bad one. Everyone says that.

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-Everyone is wrong.

-I'm not naughty. I'm just normal.

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-You shouldn't label people, Jeremy.

-It doesn't help.

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-How would you like to stay for tea?

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-With him?

-I'd rather eat a plate of cabbage.

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-Why don't you two cooperate

-instead of argue all the time?

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-I'll help him.

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-I'll help him back on the bus

-to his old school.

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-That won't help, Ernie.

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-Do you need to clean your car?

-That's something they could do.

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-Good idea. How about it, boys?

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-I'll start on the other side.

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-Hey!

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-I'll get you back.

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-Don't!

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-What are you doing?

-Have you seen Mam's car?

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-Oh, no.

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-It's dirtier than it was.

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-Let's get a move on

-before Hana sees it.

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-You've done a great job,

-both of you.

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-It's OK.

-We enjoyed it, didn't we, Jeremy?

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-Yes, it was fun.

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-You've done such a good job,

-you deserve a prize.

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-Would you like to come and see

-the panto with Francis and me?

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-That would be great.

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-I love pantos.

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-Hana said she liked me the most.

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-Hana said she liked me the most.

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-Oh, no, she didn't.

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-Oh, no, she didn't.

-

-Oh, yes, she did.

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-Leave that for the panto.

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-I told you -

-I like you both just the same.

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-There's no need

-to compare ourselves with others.

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-We're all different

-but we can all be friends.

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-If you're a little animal

-with a big problem...

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-..phone moo, baa,

-double quack, double quack.

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-In double quack time!

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-# Moo, baa,

-double quack, double quack

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-# Hana's always here

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-# Moo, baa,

-double quack, double quack

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-# She makes problems disappear #

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-In double quack time!

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-.

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