Browse content similar to Episode 10. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights | 0:00:04 | 0:00:07 | |
# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times | 0:00:09 | 0:00:12 | |
# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless | 0:00:12 | 0:00:15 | |
# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
# Gory stories, we do that And your host, a talking rat | 0:00:17 | 0:00:22 | |
# The past is no longer a mystery Welcome to... | 0:00:22 | 0:00:26 | |
# Horrible Histories. # | 0:00:26 | 0:00:31 | |
The famous Battle of Hastings took place in 1066. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:40 | |
If you want to know what happened, look at the Bayeux Tapestry. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:44 | |
It tells the whole story. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
..she fell over! | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
You're watching News At 1066, with me, Dagbar Broadaxe... | 0:00:55 | 0:00:59 | |
..and me, Matilda Highwimple. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:00 | |
We bring you news of a major battle at Hastings on the Sussex coast. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:04 | |
Reports of the battle are only just beginning to reach us, | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
-live by tapestry. -We must apologise for the time delay, | 0:01:07 | 0:01:10 | |
but these scenes have taken a while to embroider. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:13 | |
It all seems to have started with the funeral of King Edward, | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
after which Harold became King of England, | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
and this annoyed William of Normandy who thought the crown | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
had been promised to him. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
These exclusive pictures show the Normans building | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
their invasion fleet, stockpiling weapons and setting sail for England. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:29 | |
No resistance when they landed as Harold was away fighting Vikings | 0:01:29 | 0:01:33 | |
in Yorkshire at the time. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
Do we know yet what the Normans did when they landed? | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
Well, Matilda, they do come from France so they cooked themselves | 0:01:37 | 0:01:41 | |
a massive meal. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:42 | |
Let's take a look now at the war zone itself. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
This report contains scenes of violence | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
-which viewers may find disturbing. -We're in the thick of battle | 0:01:47 | 0:01:51 | |
and it looks like the English infantry have left the high ground | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
-and been trapped by the Norman cavalry... -Sorry to interrupt. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:57 | |
We're getting some breaking news. It looks like King Harold... | 0:01:57 | 0:02:02 | |
has been killed. That's what we're hearing. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
Yes, King Harold has been killed. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
We don't know yet whether King Harold is the one you can see | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
with the arrow in his eye or the one on the right, | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
being chopped down with the sword, it could be either. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
It looks like it's all over. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
So, William is now officially the Conqueror and the Normans | 0:02:18 | 0:02:22 | |
have taken over Anglo-Saxon England. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:25 | |
It's a truly sad day for us all. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
-FRENCH ACCENT: -What's that you are saying? | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
I was actually going to say it was a very happy day. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:32 | |
Oh, happy day. Isn't that right, Matilda? | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
Yes, Dagbert. Ooh, yippee. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
Yes. Bonjour! | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
Most historians think the Bayeux Tapestry was made in Canterbury | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
in Kent, a few years after 1066. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
Today, it is in a museum in Bayeaux in France. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:49 | |
Tickets are 8 Euros for adults, 4 for children and rats go free | 0:02:49 | 0:02:53 | |
if they shimmy down the drainpipe, ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
And it wasn't just tapestries. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
War provided inspiration for songs in the Middle Ages as well. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:02 | |
Out now! The latest album from Middle Ages French troubadour, | 0:03:02 | 0:03:07 | |
Bertran de Born... | 0:03:07 | 0:03:08 | |
Lyre solo! | 0:03:50 | 0:03:51 | |
Also featuring his other best-ever lyrics... | 0:03:51 | 0:03:54 | |
Buy it now before Bertrand gives up and becomes a monk! | 0:04:04 | 0:04:08 | |
Listen, kiddo. You were dreadful. Just dreadful. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:12 | |
'ow dare you?! | 0:04:12 | 0:04:13 | |
When you become a monk, I hope you take a vow of silence. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
Zat Simon Cowell is so nasty and 'orrible. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
I must write a song about 'im! | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
# Simon Cow-ell Simon Cow-ell | 0:04:23 | 0:04:28 | |
# Your trousers are too high And everybody prefers Cheryl... # | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Victorian Britain was a very dangerous place to grow up. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
In fact, only half of Victorian children lived to the age of five. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:43 | |
Good day. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:44 | |
EASTENDERS THEME TUNE | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
Right, better give these dishes a good clean. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:53 | |
Oh, hello, love. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:56 | |
You're back early. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
How was the factory? | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
You are not going to believe this. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
The managers wound the clock forward half hour, | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
then fined us for being half hour late. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:09 | |
-Oh, honestly! -Unbelievable. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
-Dad? -What is it, seventh child? | 0:05:11 | 0:05:15 | |
-It's my birthday. -Is it? | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
-How old are you? -Five. -Five?! | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
-Well done, lad! -So...you haven't got me a present? | 0:05:20 | 0:05:25 | |
-We didn't think you'd make it this far. -What would you like? | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
I'd like a name. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:30 | |
A name? | 0:05:30 | 0:05:31 | |
Well, the thing is, son... | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
Coming up with good names is very tricky. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
Given you only had a 50% chance of surviving as far as you have, | 0:05:37 | 0:05:43 | |
we just thought we wouldn't bother. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
That's why we call you seventh child. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
I suppose he could have a name. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
It is his birthday, after all. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
OK. Um... | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
Oh! What about...Jack? | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
Ah! Jack it is then! | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
Oh! I've got an even better present for you. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
-What is it? -A job. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
-Oh! -Now you're five years old, | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
you can come and work in the factory with your old dad. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
You start tomorrow, 6 o'clock sharp. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:12 | |
Actually, best make it 5.30, in case they try that clock trick again. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:16 | |
How will we top this for his next birthday?! | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
He'll be cleaning the cogs in the new machine at the factory, | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
so I don't think we need to worry about next birthday. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
It's true. In Victorian times, | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
many poor children went to work in dangerous factories | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
from the age of five! Five! | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
Some people got to work in nice, posh houses instead. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
But then - that wasn't much fun either. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
Hi! I'm a shouty man! | 0:06:44 | 0:06:45 | |
I'm here to tell you about new Victorian Maid, | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
the labour-saving revolution! | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
..or at least without getting a break! | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
Is there no end to what Victorian Maid can do? | 0:07:06 | 0:07:11 | |
Not if you give it a long enough list! | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
What's more... | 0:07:13 | 0:07:14 | |
..then we'll replace it with a younger model, | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
for the same low, low price! | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
..and we'll include this unique honesty test, free of charge! | 0:07:30 | 0:07:34 | |
Simply place the coin under a rug and if it's not found, | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
that's bad cleaning! | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
Time to replace Victorian Maid! CRASH! | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
Or if it is found, and not given back to you, | 0:07:41 | 0:07:44 | |
that's dishonest! Time to replace Victorian Maid! CRASH! | 0:07:44 | 0:07:48 | |
New Victorian Maid can be yours for the incredible low, low price... | 0:07:48 | 0:07:52 | |
Now, that's a bargain! | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
Try new Victorian Maid today! | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
So I think we've established we Victorians | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
were pretty vile to each other. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
Well, we were pretty vile to other creatures, too. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:14 | |
Oh, yes, we were. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:15 | |
Greetings, terror lovers. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
I am Vincenzo Laffov. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
This week's sca-a-ary story is from the Victorian Times. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:29 | |
It's called...The Freaks! | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
It was in the reign of Queen Victoria, a most eerie era | 0:08:33 | 0:08:37 | |
of fearful years, when a dark new trend gripped the world - | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
the freakshow! | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
JAUNTY CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
That could not be less like the music I had in mind. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:48 | |
Try track seven. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:49 | |
MORE JAUNTY CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
Track eight? | 0:08:52 | 0:08:53 | |
GOTHIC PIANO MUSIC PLAYS | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
The freakshow was a most vulgar place | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
where those with unusual bodies or unique gifts | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
were made to perform, as freaks, for the amusement of a gasping public. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:06 | |
But amongst the bearded ladies and pin-headed men | 0:09:06 | 0:09:08 | |
lurked a creature truly deserving of the name...freak. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:12 | |
The Fiji Mermaid! | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
The crazed creature had a head and arms almost human in appearance. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:19 | |
But, from the waist down, it's body was that of a fish! | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
But this mermaid was not alive. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
Just imagine the shock, the fear, the REVULSION, felt by those | 0:09:24 | 0:09:28 | |
who witnessed a true, living, breathing freak! | 0:09:28 | 0:09:31 | |
The pig-faced lady! | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
OINK! OINK! | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
That's just not scary, is it? | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
Can we try slowing it down? | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
GRUNT! GRUNT! | 0:09:40 | 0:09:43 | |
It'll have to do. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:44 | |
As the eager public entered her tent, | 0:09:44 | 0:09:48 | |
there was the lady! | 0:09:48 | 0:09:49 | |
Her eyes dark and hooded, her face wide and grizzled. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:54 | |
Her nose pushed forwards into a wet, wrinkled snout. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:58 | |
From her cavernous mouth came not a voice, but growls | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
and snorts that shook the tent around her. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
What was this pig-faced lady? | 0:10:03 | 0:10:06 | |
And the answer - it was... | 0:10:06 | 0:10:10 | |
a shaved bear...what? | 0:10:10 | 0:10:13 | |
The pig-faced lady wasn't a lady, it was a drugged bear? | 0:10:15 | 0:10:19 | |
With its fur shaved off? | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
And the mermaid was a dead monkey?! | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
Sewn onto a fish? | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
And covered in papier mache? | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
Can someone on this production please get a dictionary | 0:10:28 | 0:10:32 | |
and look up the word "scary"? | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
I turned down a film premiere to do this, you know. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:37 | |
But I'm here, reading some rubbish about dead monkeys. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:41 | |
That's it. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
I'm burning the book. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:45 | |
Don't try and stop me. No, no, get off! | 0:10:45 | 0:10:47 | |
I'm burning it! | 0:10:47 | 0:10:48 | |
Hiya, fashion fans, and welcome to Historical Fashion Fix. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:03 | |
This week, I'll be making over a smelly Celtic farmer, | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
so best take some precautions. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:08 | |
Let's meet Drostan. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
You look perfectly clean! | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
-HE SNIFFS -You smell good too! | 0:11:13 | 0:11:17 | |
-Celts do use soap. -My apologies, Drostan, let's start over. | 0:11:17 | 0:11:21 | |
-Tell us a bit about yourself. -I hate Romans. -OK. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:25 | |
-And any hobbies? -Hating Romans. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:27 | |
Well, you're in luck, because I'll be making you over | 0:11:27 | 0:11:31 | |
as the ultimate Celtic warrior, a Roman-killing psycho. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
-(Yes!) -First, let's do something about that ridiculous moustache. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:39 | |
It isn't nearly ridiculous enough! | 0:11:39 | 0:11:42 | |
There! Shorter hair and a longer moustache, | 0:11:44 | 0:11:47 | |
that really says Celtic warrior. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
The hair is spiked and bleached using crushed up limestone - | 0:11:49 | 0:11:54 | |
natures all-in-one bleach and hair gel. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:57 | |
Nice. | 0:11:57 | 0:11:58 | |
You go, Drostan. | 0:11:58 | 0:11:59 | |
-So, can I go and kill some Romans now? -Soon. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:02 | |
-First, we have to get you out of those clothes. -All right. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:06 | |
-So, what am I going to wear? -Nothing. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:11 | |
W-what? | 0:12:11 | 0:12:12 | |
Well, you do get to wear this... | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
There. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:16 | |
-What, is that it? -Your neck band is carved with signs to bring you | 0:12:16 | 0:12:21 | |
-good luck in battle. -I'm going to need it, aren't I, mate? | 0:12:21 | 0:12:25 | |
If I'm fighting in my birthday suit. I'm nude! Look at me, I'm nude. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
All right. Going to have some trouble with this one. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
We've got some woad leaves here. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
And I've squished up the seeds into a lovely blue dye. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:37 | |
Whoa, what are you doing with that? | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
There, every inch the Celtic warrior. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:44 | |
I look ridiculous. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:45 | |
The flowers were my idea. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
What flowers...? Oh! | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
What's he doing? | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
HE GROWLS ANGRILY | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
What are you doing?! | 0:12:54 | 0:12:55 | |
Working my way up into a Celtic warrior battle frenzy. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:59 | |
I go absolutely bananas and then kill everything in my path. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:03 | |
Not on my show... | 0:13:03 | 0:13:05 | |
sister. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
That's it for this week. Join us next time, | 0:13:08 | 0:13:11 | |
when I'll be teaching a Saxon monk how to jazz up his cassock | 0:13:11 | 0:13:14 | |
with a viking's axe in his head. See you then. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:18 | |
-I'm really sorry about... -It's OK. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:20 | |
It's true, some Celtic warriors fought naked. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
Yeah, they believed that if the gods decided today was their day to die, | 0:13:23 | 0:13:27 | |
then all the armour in the world wasn't going to protect them. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:31 | |
And did you know, one of the most famous Celtic warriors | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
was actually a woman? | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
# Gonna cause a stink | 0:13:40 | 0:13:41 | |
# Won't be the first to blink | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
# I'm not who you think Don't mess with me | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
# I'm Boudicca | 0:13:45 | 0:13:49 | |
# My husband Prasutagus died He was a Celtic king | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
# I was his queen, so due to me Was half of everything | 0:13:54 | 0:13:58 | |
# Roman law gave half to me So half was what they got | 0:13:58 | 0:14:02 | |
# Till their nasty soldiers came And took the blessed lot | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
# Hey, mister, I'd say You got the wrong end of the stick | 0:14:05 | 0:14:09 | |
# His answer turned this sister Into one angry chick | 0:14:09 | 0:14:13 | |
# No man, Roman | 0:14:13 | 0:14:14 | |
# Will push around this woman | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
# You won't get far with Boudicca | 0:14:16 | 0:14:20 | |
# Foe man, yeoman | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
# Smash the Roman foe man | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
# All say yah | 0:14:24 | 0:14:25 | |
-# Yah! -Boudicca | 0:14:25 | 0:14:27 | |
# I built a massive army Headed straight for the city | 0:14:31 | 0:14:35 | |
# Beat 'em all with ease And like me, it wasn't pretty | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
# Chopped 'em and hacked But what made their red blood curl | 0:14:38 | 0:14:42 | |
# Bad enough being beaten But beaten by a girl?! | 0:14:42 | 0:14:46 | |
# Whacked 'em, smacked 'em | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
# Boy, how we attacked 'em | 0:14:48 | 0:14:49 | |
# Near and far Hah-hah-hah! | 0:14:49 | 0:14:53 | |
# Flayed 'em, slayed 'em Up and down parade 'em | 0:14:53 | 0:14:57 | |
# Boudicca Toughest by far | 0:14:57 | 0:15:00 | |
# Colchester, London, St Albans | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
# Everybody talk about dead Romans | 0:15:02 | 0:15:05 | |
# We marched on up the Roman road | 0:15:08 | 0:15:09 | |
# That's known as Watling Street | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
# They trapped us in the forest | 0:15:11 | 0:15:13 | |
# Then thrashed us to our defeat | 0:15:13 | 0:15:15 | |
# By now you've guessed I'm not The kind of girl to sit and cry | 0:15:15 | 0:15:19 | |
# Be sold a slave to Romans? You know I'd rather die | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
# They tried to take me prisoner So I led the Roman boys on | 0:15:22 | 0:15:26 | |
# Instead of giving in to them I swallowed special poison | 0:15:26 | 0:15:30 | |
# Martyr, smarter Capture a non-starter | 0:15:30 | 0:15:33 | |
# This was our last hurrah | 0:15:33 | 0:15:37 | |
# Slaughtered, dismembered | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
# Our tribe always remembered | 0:15:39 | 0:15:41 | |
# Boudicca, superstar | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
# Boudicca | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
# Superstar. # | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
Don't diss this miss. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
Everyone knows that weddings can be a bit boring. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
But King Charles I certainly made sure that his bride | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
would never forget their wedding day. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
IN FRENCH ACCENT: You look beautiful. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
Thank you. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
Who are you? | 0:16:13 | 0:16:14 | |
Oh, sorry, I am the Duc de Chevreuse. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:17 | |
I am going to marry you today. Enchante. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
What? Where's King Charles I? | 0:16:19 | 0:16:22 | |
I'm supposed to marry him. Not you. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
You could do worse. I'm a duke. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:26 | |
-He's a king! -Oh, yeah. Yes, I suppose he is. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:29 | |
Anyway, he said to say he's very sorry but he's a bit busy, | 0:16:29 | 0:16:33 | |
so would you mind if I stood in for him for the whole wedding thing? | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
Stood in? | 0:16:36 | 0:16:37 | |
Yeah, well, you know, it's a bit difficult for him. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:40 | |
There's this dirty business with religion - you're Catholic, he's not. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:44 | |
Plus you're in France, he's not. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
So in the end, I just thought it might be easier to... | 0:16:46 | 0:16:49 | |
pop down and get married for him. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:51 | |
Does he not want to marry me, then? | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
Oh, no, no, no, no. He's got this whole second wedding planned | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
when you get to England next month. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:58 | |
A big church in Canterbury, a nice Protestant ceremony, | 0:16:58 | 0:17:01 | |
big silly cake! | 0:17:01 | 0:17:02 | |
-OK, then. -Magnifique. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:05 | |
Ready when you are. | 0:17:05 | 0:17:06 | |
Do you, Henrietta Maria, | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
take a man who is not here but somehow knows this man, | 0:17:09 | 0:17:13 | |
to be your lawfully wedded husband? | 0:17:13 | 0:17:16 | |
I do. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:18 | |
And does King Charles I | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
take this woman to be his lawfully wedded wife? | 0:17:20 | 0:17:24 | |
Yeah, apparently he does. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:26 | |
Then I now pronounce you friend of the husband | 0:17:26 | 0:17:28 | |
and somebody else's wife. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
You may kiss the other fellow's bride. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
How dare you! I am the wife of King Charles I... | 0:17:34 | 0:17:38 | |
I think... Sort of. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:40 | |
I'm so sorry, I always cry at weddings. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:43 | |
It's true, Charles I didn't want | 0:17:46 | 0:17:49 | |
a Catholic wedding in a foreign country. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
So he got the Duc de Chevreuse to stand in for him. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:54 | |
In fact, thanks to King Charles | 0:17:54 | 0:17:55 | |
there were lots of crazy goings-on in church in the Stuart era. | 0:17:55 | 0:18:00 | |
Here endeth the lesson. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
ALL: Amen. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
Now, before we begin prayers today, | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
I have to inform you there's to be a wee change to the proceedings. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:10 | |
"A wee change." I don't like the sound of that... | 0:18:10 | 0:18:13 | |
Please, it's a decree from our King, Charles I, | 0:18:13 | 0:18:15 | |
which demands we now use these new Church of England prayer books. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:20 | |
So if we could just turn to page 109... | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
What? | 0:18:22 | 0:18:24 | |
We're Scottish. We don't need some prayer book from England. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:28 | |
We're happy with our own prayer books, thank you very much. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
I know, but the King wants all church services in Britain | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
-to be the same, so... -We're Puritans, | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
we like our services to be plain and simple like our prayer books. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:40 | |
Not all elaborate and fancy like the English ones. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
Aye, who cares what the King says? | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
MURMUR OF AGREEMENT | 0:18:45 | 0:18:46 | |
I have to read from it, it's the law. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
I'll get into trouble if I don't. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
You're no' right, you. I'm no' happy. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
Please... Right, I knew there'd be trouble. Good job I came prepared. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:58 | |
Right... | 0:18:58 | 0:18:59 | |
Let's just be absolutely clear, shall we? | 0:18:59 | 0:19:02 | |
Hands up who's happy to read from | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
the new Church of England prayer book? | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
I thought so. | 0:19:09 | 0:19:12 | |
Our father... | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
which art in heaven... | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
..hallowed be thy name. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:23 | |
Welcome back to HHTV Sport, bringing you exclusive live sporting events | 0:19:33 | 0:19:37 | |
from the past. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
Today, we're at the Georgian Games. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:40 | |
We can go ringside with John and Steve for our big fight live. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:44 | |
And what a spectacle we're in for. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
Good afternoon, there's a real sense of excitement for today's big fight. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:50 | |
There certainly is, John. These players look very evenly matched. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:54 | |
We could be in for a real corker. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
Seconds out... | 0:19:56 | 0:19:57 | |
BELL RINGS ..round one. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:58 | |
And they're straight in to the first pinch. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
Oh, it's a good strong pinch to the upper arm there. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
And he's showing no signs of pain whatsoever. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:07 | |
That's what you've got to do to win a Georgian pinching match. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
For those unfamiliar with the game, could you remind us of the rules? | 0:20:10 | 0:20:14 | |
The two competitors stand toe-to-toe and simply take it in turns | 0:20:14 | 0:20:17 | |
-to pinch each other. -Right. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:20 | |
They can't cry out. If they do, it's game over. | 0:20:20 | 0:20:22 | |
So if I was to do this... | 0:20:22 | 0:20:24 | |
Ow! | 0:20:24 | 0:20:25 | |
-..I'd have won the game. -Yeah, and if I were to do this... -Ahh! | 0:20:25 | 0:20:28 | |
..I would have won the game. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
Ow, seriously! | 0:20:30 | 0:20:31 | |
Aaaagh! | 0:20:37 | 0:20:38 | |
Oh, it's all over, let's look at that final pinch | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
once again, in slow motion. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:42 | |
Yes, it's a clinical pinch to the ribs. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:45 | |
-That looks like it hurt. -Absolutely. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:48 | |
So, let's see what's coming up in these Georgian Games. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:52 | |
4pm, we have the greased-goose grabbing final. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:55 | |
And at 5pm, live and exclusive, we have women fighting for money. | 0:20:55 | 0:20:58 | |
And what about the football, John? | 0:20:58 | 0:21:00 | |
-No, football's rubbish. -Well, I like it. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:03 | |
It's a fad, Steve, it's a fad. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:04 | |
I'm sure long after people have gone off football, | 0:21:04 | 0:21:07 | |
they'll still be into pinching matches and greased-goose grabbing. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:10 | |
Back to the studio. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
That's right, Georgians used to enjoy watching people | 0:21:12 | 0:21:16 | |
trying to grab a dead, greased goose. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
The winner was the one who pulled its head off. Eugh! | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
And if you think that's shocking, | 0:21:22 | 0:21:24 | |
then you obviously haven't heard about our Georgian army. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:28 | |
Hello, sergeant, I'm your new recruit. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
Come to serve your country, have you? That's very noble of you, sir. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:36 | |
Have you signed your army contract, sir? | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
Certainly have, there it is. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
Right, you horrible little man, | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
why aren't you in uniform? You're a disgrace to the army. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:44 | |
Here, put this jacket on. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:46 | |
-It's not very camouflaged, is it? -Of course it isn't. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
We want your mates to be able to see you easily | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
and not shoot you when you're on a smoky battlefield. | 0:21:52 | 0:21:54 | |
Won't the enemy be able to easily see me on the battlefield? | 0:21:54 | 0:21:58 | |
Of course they will, | 0:21:58 | 0:21:59 | |
they'll be standing 50 yards away in a straight line shooting at you. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:02 | |
That's how Georgian armies fight. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
Left-right, left-right... | 0:22:04 | 0:22:06 | |
Get your knees up, you horrible little man. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
The army thrives on discipline. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
You'll be practising drill three hours a day, every day, | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
and you will like it. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
Recruit...halt! | 0:22:16 | 0:22:17 | |
HE PANTS | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
You hungry, son? | 0:22:19 | 0:22:20 | |
-Good, it's time for your rations. -Oh, good. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:24 | |
Eugh, it's covered in maggots. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:25 | |
Oh, you'll get used to that. I call that extra-meat rations. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:28 | |
That's good old, honest Georgian army food, that is. | 0:22:28 | 0:22:32 | |
Right, time for rifle practice. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:34 | |
I will now present you with your weapon. It's called a Brown Bess. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:38 | |
-Lovely, isn't she? -Cool, may I? | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
Yeah, just hold it up to your shoulder and pull the trigger. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:43 | |
Sorry about that, you're left handed, aren't you? | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
You can only fire the Brown Bess with your right hand, | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
otherwise the flash goes off in your face. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:51 | |
I don't want to be in the army anymore. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
Oh, it's too late for that, son. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
You're mine for the next ten years. | 0:22:55 | 0:22:58 | |
Now, on the double, quick-march. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:00 | |
Left-right, left-right... | 0:23:00 | 0:23:01 | |
Oh, forgotten his rations. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
That's more for me. Oh, look, there's a beetle there. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:07 | |
Mmm, I like the crunchy shell. Oh, that's lovely that. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
Ancient Egyptian Queen Cleopatra | 0:23:16 | 0:23:18 | |
went to a lot of trouble to look her best. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
Here's how she did it. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:22 | |
Hi, girls, ever look in the mirror and see this... | 0:23:22 | 0:23:26 | |
when you were hoping to see this? | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
Yeah, me too. That's why I follow... | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
And now you can too. Just listen and learn. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:36 | |
If you want your skin to be nice and smooth like mine, | 0:23:37 | 0:23:40 | |
why not bathe in asses' milk? | 0:23:40 | 0:23:42 | |
Eugh! How long has that been there? It really stinks. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:48 | |
Enhance those eyes by painting them with black lead. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
Hang on, isn't this like really poisonous? | 0:23:55 | 0:23:58 | |
What are you trying to do to me? | 0:23:58 | 0:23:59 | |
Looking better already? You bet I am. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:02 | |
And this eye make-up repels flies. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
Well, I'm not surprised, it is poisonous. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:08 | |
Bring a dash of colour to your cheeks | 0:24:10 | 0:24:12 | |
with this red ochre made from clay. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:13 | |
Clay? What, like they make pots out of? | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
Actually, that does kind of work. Amazing, isn't it? | 0:24:16 | 0:24:20 | |
And now for the final touch. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:23 | |
That beauty accessory that no female Pharaoh is complete without - | 0:24:23 | 0:24:27 | |
a beard. | 0:24:27 | 0:24:28 | |
It's not funny, it just tickles. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:36 | |
It's all true. 100% accu-rat. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:40 | |
Pharaohs were supposed to be men, | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
so Cleopatra had to wear a false beard | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
whenever she did a sacred task, | 0:24:44 | 0:24:46 | |
like pray for the sun to come up every morning. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:48 | |
Personally, I like girls with a bit of facial hair. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:51 | |
But then, I would, wouldn't I? I am a rat. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:55 | |
The answer is...all three were used in medicines | 0:25:11 | 0:25:14 | |
by ancient Eqyptian doctors. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:17 | |
Oh, it's really sore. | 0:25:28 | 0:25:31 | |
Try not to touch it, the doctor will be round soon. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:33 | |
Good. What are the doctors like round here? | 0:25:33 | 0:25:35 | |
Yeah, they're very professional and... | 0:25:35 | 0:25:39 | |
OK, for some reason we don't understand, | 0:25:39 | 0:25:43 | |
they all seem to be from different historical periods | 0:25:43 | 0:25:46 | |
and their methods are quite frankly...mad. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:48 | |
Good morning, Mrs Carter, I'm Dr Jenkins. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:52 | |
You're in luck, he's one of our modern doctors. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:55 | |
Oh, thank goodness. | 0:25:55 | 0:25:56 | |
-So what seems to be the...? -So sorry I'm late. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
My name's Dr Isis and I'm from ancient Egypt. | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
-I'll take it from here. -Of course. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:03 | |
No, don't go. You know what they're like. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
He'll do a load of weird stuff to her and she'll probably | 0:26:06 | 0:26:10 | |
end up dying or something. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:11 | |
Nonsense, I've had all the latest ancient Egyptian medical training. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:15 | |
Now, that is a nasty gash above the right eye. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:18 | |
I'd be tempted to rub some honey into that. | 0:26:18 | 0:26:21 | |
-See? -Honey is actually a rather good antiseptic. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:24 | |
Ideal for treating a wound such as that. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:26 | |
Oh, well, what about the pain? | 0:26:27 | 0:26:30 | |
Well, I've got some dried leaves from a myrtle bush here in my bag. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:33 | |
I'd probably feed the patient a few of those. | 0:26:33 | 0:26:35 | |
He wants her to eat leaves? | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
Yes, but myrtle leaves are very rich in salicylic acid. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:40 | |
It's a basic form of things like aspirin, | 0:26:40 | 0:26:43 | |
So ideal for treating mild pain. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:45 | |
Actually, I feel quite sick now. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:47 | |
I've got just the thing for that. A lovely bit of limestone. Mmm. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:51 | |
He wants her to eat a rock. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
Yes, limestone is calcium carbonate. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:55 | |
Powdered up, it's the same as we use to treat stomach complaints today. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
I'd say that Dr Isis actually has some very good treatments. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
What? | 0:27:01 | 0:27:02 | |
Looks like there could be a little infection there, what do you think? | 0:27:02 | 0:27:06 | |
Yes, that could lead to blindness. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:08 | |
Which I would treat by mashing up a pig's eye | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
with a little bit of honey and a little bit of red powder | 0:27:11 | 0:27:15 | |
and then pouring the mixture into the patient's ear. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
Yeah, he's mad. Get him. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:21 | |
No! How dare you, I'm not mad. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 | |
Aaaagh, mummy! | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
Want to travel through the time sewers with me? | 0:27:33 | 0:27:35 | |
Then play Horrible Histories Terrible Treasures. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:38 | |
Go to the CBBC website and click on Horrible Histories. | 0:27:38 | 0:27:42 |