Browse content similar to Episode 2. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights | 0:00:04 | 0:00:07 | |
# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians | 0:00:07 | 0:00:10 | |
# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times | 0:00:10 | 0:00:13 | |
# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless | 0:00:13 | 0:00:15 | |
# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
# Gory stories, we do that And your host, a talking rat | 0:00:17 | 0:00:22 | |
# The past is no longer a mystery Welcome to... | 0:00:22 | 0:00:27 | |
# Horrible Histories. # | 0:00:27 | 0:00:32 | |
Victoria and Albert, the love story of their generation. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:41 | |
1836 and the most eligible young princess in the world | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
meets her potential suitors. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
What about Alexander of the Netherlands? | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
-Prince of Orange-Nassau. -Three out of ten. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
Begging your pardon, ma'am, but he's totally fit. | 0:00:50 | 0:00:54 | |
Don't care. Not interested. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:55 | |
It was not going well, until... | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg! | 0:00:58 | 0:01:01 | |
Who is that? He's gorge. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:03 | |
12 out of 10. | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
Sorry, your highness, who are we looking at? | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
Is he behind the one with the ridiculous facial hair? | 0:01:07 | 0:01:10 | |
-Oi! Walrus face, out the way! -Thus. -He spoke! | 0:01:10 | 0:01:13 | |
For Princess Victoria, it was love at first sight. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
All right? I think you're the fittest man I've ever seen. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
I love you. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
I just wish I knew if she liked me. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
It was a royal whirlwind romance and after a couple of years, | 0:01:25 | 0:01:29 | |
it was time to propose. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:31 | |
My love, my darling, my cousin, | 0:01:31 | 0:01:34 | |
there is something I need to ask you. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
Will you marry me? | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
Oh, that is what I was going to say, | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
but, er... Yes, why not? | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
10th February, 1840, the happy day. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
Prince Albert marries the now Queen Victoria. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:50 | |
I now pronounce you Queen and husband. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
Check it out! King Albert! | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
Or was he? | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
Oh, no. It's Prince Albert, actually. | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
But I've married a queen so I am king. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
-Yes, but it doesn't work like that. -Maybe it does. -No, it doesn't. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:04 | |
-Maybe it could. -No it couldn't. | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
-But you're Queen. You could make me King if you like. -Yes, you'd think. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
-But I asked the government and they said, "no". -OK, baby. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:12 | |
It was a happy marriage, a REALLY happy marriage | 0:02:12 | 0:02:16 | |
that would bring them nine children | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
and would last until their dying day, | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
which, sadly, in the case of Prince Albert, wasn't very long. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:24 | |
Albert!!! | 0:02:24 | 0:02:25 | |
Queen Victoria went into mourning. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:28 | |
VICTORIA WEEPS | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
Time is a great healer. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
VICTORIA SOBS | 0:02:32 | 0:02:33 | |
40 years later... | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
Come on. Get over it! | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
Finally, after four decades of grieving, | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
Victoria was ready to move on. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
OK, I'm over it. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
I'm ready to start dating again. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
VICTORIA GROANS | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
I think you might have left that a little late. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:52 | |
When Albert died and Victoria went into mourning, | 0:02:54 | 0:02:57 | |
she only wore black for the next 40 years. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
40 years! Just imagine her wardrobe. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:05 | |
"Mmm, what shall I wear today?" | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
"The black dress, the black dress or the black dress?" | 0:03:07 | 0:03:11 | |
"Oh, I have it! The black dress!" | 0:03:11 | 0:03:15 | |
In the 1500s a priest called Martin Luther | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
started a religious revolt | 0:03:24 | 0:03:25 | |
against the Catholics in Germany, and set up the Protestant Church. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:29 | |
He was a colourful character to say the least. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:32 | |
And having heard that Mr Luther shares my misgivings | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
about the Catholic church, | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
I was hoping to discuss our philosophy | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
and work out the best way | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
to tackle these terrible abuses of Catholic power. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
Of course, and I know he's been looking forward to meeting you. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
Ever since you wrote the doctrine | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
that's the foundation for the breakaway Protestant church. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
-He's through there, in his office. -Ah, thank you. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
-Hello! -Oh, my word. I'm so sorry. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
I didn't realise you were on the toilet. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
Well, that is right, yes. But this is also my office. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
-I don't think it is. -No, no. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
You see I use the toilet so much I thought to myself, | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
"Hmm, why not turn my toilet into my office?" | 0:04:11 | 0:04:14 | |
So I had this big bathroom built with under-floor heating, | 0:04:14 | 0:04:17 | |
a nice wooden toilet with cess pit underneath, | 0:04:17 | 0:04:21 | |
so now I can do my business while I do my business! | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
Ha, ha, I made a joke. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:24 | |
Ha, ha, ha, ha... | 0:04:24 | 0:04:26 | |
Anyway, I need to finish this letter to my friend. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:30 | |
"If you ask me, the whole thing stinks." | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
"It is dark, foreboding and makes me feel very uncomfortable." | 0:04:32 | 0:04:38 | |
Ah, I take it you're referring to the abuses of the Catholic church. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
Oh, no, no, no. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
I'm just filling my friends in with the details of my latest poop poops. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
I like to keep my friends abreast of my movements. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
You right detailed letters about your poo to your friends? | 0:04:49 | 0:04:53 | |
That's right! I know some people can find my obsession with the poop poops | 0:04:53 | 0:04:57 | |
a little bit weird, but I have no doubt that they will enjoy | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
reading about my botty bums as much as I enjoy writing about them. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:05 | |
No? Hehe! | 0:05:05 | 0:05:06 | |
Well, clearly you're far too busy | 0:05:06 | 0:05:08 | |
to discuss church matters with me yourself. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
Perhaps you would allow me to see your number two. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
Sure, here she is. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
Oh! I meant your assistant! | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
Oh, well. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:20 | |
Good size and consistency. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
Smell? | 0:05:23 | 0:05:24 | |
HE SNIFFS | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
Hmm, pungent. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:27 | |
Martin Luther really did come up with the idea | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
for the Protestant church on a toilet in Germany. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:35 | |
This paved the way for Henry VIII to break from Rome | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
and start the Church of England 20 years later, | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
which meant he could now take control of all the Catholic abbeys | 0:05:39 | 0:05:43 | |
in the country. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:44 | |
And that wasn't very good news for the monks who lived there. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
Hello and welcome to Cash in The Abbey, | 0:05:51 | 0:05:54 | |
the show where we help you find hidden treasures | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
in your monastery or abbey, and turn them into cash. | 0:05:56 | 0:06:00 | |
This week we're in Tudor times where his majesty King Henry VIII | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
is hoping to raise enough money for the war of a lifetime with France. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:07 | |
So, Henry, I hear you've got an abbey or two. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
Oh, yeah. 800 of them. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:15 | |
What? 800?! | 0:06:15 | 0:06:16 | |
Yes, they used to belong to the Pope but now they're mine | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
since I set up this new church, Church of England. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
It's a long story. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:23 | |
Anyway, they are chock full of stuff I no longer need, you know. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:26 | |
Dusty old books, monks and so forth, so I thought I'd have a clear out | 0:06:26 | 0:06:30 | |
and see if I couldn't raise some cash. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
And you've got your friend here, Thomas Cromwell to help you out. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:36 | |
That's right. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:37 | |
I sent out a team of experts to every monastery in the land | 0:06:37 | 0:06:41 | |
and, according to their report, these monks are rolling in it. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:44 | |
You don't think it might look dodgy nicking all this stuff | 0:06:44 | 0:06:47 | |
off these men of God? | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
Have you read my report?! | 0:06:49 | 0:06:50 | |
"Manifest sin, vicious, carnal and abominable living | 0:06:50 | 0:06:55 | |
"is daily used and committed." | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
Those monks were having more fun than me. Not really! | 0:06:58 | 0:07:01 | |
We just made it up for an excuse to nick all their stuff. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:05 | |
I'm sorry but, er, I know. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
-Right then, let's have a rummage. -Yeah. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
So, how are you getting on, Henry? | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
Oh, very well. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:27 | |
These monks have kindly agreed to let us have whatever we want. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
-Really, that's good. -Well, otherwise we'd have them executed. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:34 | |
And what have you got there, Thomas? | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
These books are unique religious texts | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
that any Catholic would love to have on their shelves, | 0:07:38 | 0:07:41 | |
so I'll be destroying all those. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
And I also found these little pieces of bones in a coffin | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
which may not look like much but are actually sacred relics, | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
so, hopefully, they'll make us a bob or two, too... Too. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
And the best bit of course is that, er, | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
they've got loads of land that we can steal and sell to our friends. | 0:07:57 | 0:08:01 | |
So, you're basically going to leave these monks | 0:08:01 | 0:08:03 | |
with nothing but the building they live in. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
Oh, no, we're going to flog off the bricks to the local peasants | 0:08:06 | 0:08:09 | |
and the lead on the roof is going to be melted down and used as gun shot. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:13 | |
Bring on the Frenchies, I say. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:15 | |
HENRY LAUGHS | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
So, Henry, you've managed to cash in all 800 abbeys. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:23 | |
You must be pleased. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:24 | |
Yes, it's been a life changing experience, er, for the monks! | 0:08:24 | 0:08:28 | |
Well, they shouldn't have done all those terrible things | 0:08:28 | 0:08:31 | |
that we said they did. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
Where are all these beggars coming from? Get out of it, go on. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
So you've nicked all their gold, smashed up their houses | 0:08:35 | 0:08:39 | |
and sold everything off to the highest bidder. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
But have you raised enough cash for that war in France? | 0:08:42 | 0:08:46 | |
Yes, yes, you have. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
Yes!! See you later. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
Er, is this stuff all going for free? | 0:08:51 | 0:08:53 | |
Yeah, help yourself. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:54 | |
I've had my eye on this for the garden. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
Guys, can you... Can I get some, er, couple of guys on this end? | 0:09:00 | 0:09:04 | |
This was known as the Dissolution of the Monasteries. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:09 | |
Over 800 religious communities were seized by Henry VIII, | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
so he could afford to go to war with the French. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
Well, Henry certainly had the stomach for a fight! | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
Anyway, Protestants and Catholics did not get on, | 0:09:17 | 0:09:21 | |
and in England during the reign of Elizabeth I, | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
Protestant priest hunters tried to round up all the Catholic priests. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:27 | |
Brand new to Tudor times, Hide and Priest. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:31 | |
The cat and mouse game no one wants to play. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
To start playing all you have to do is hide your Catholic priest | 0:09:34 | 0:09:38 | |
along with his vestments, relics and altar. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:42 | |
Then just wait for the Protestant priest hunter to call. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:46 | |
Will the priest be safely hidden in his hole? | 0:09:46 | 0:09:48 | |
Or will the priest hunter track him down? | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
He'll rip up floorboards! | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
He'll knock down walls! | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
It's the no fun at all game that can go on for days, or weeks. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:03 | |
Oh, it's no good. I give in. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
You win, where is he? | 0:10:05 | 0:10:06 | |
He's... Where's who? | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
Mmm. Worth a go, wasn't it? | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
Only make sure you don't leave the priest in there for too long | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
or you could be in for a bit of a shock. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
Hide and Priest. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:17 | |
The game that brings Catholics and Protestants together. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
Only not in a good way. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
Hello and welcome to the News at When, | 0:10:33 | 0:10:35 | |
when around seven million years ago, | 0:10:35 | 0:10:38 | |
when there was no human life on earth, but over in Africa | 0:10:38 | 0:10:42 | |
some chimpanzees are starting to develop some rather familiar traits. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:46 | |
Here with more details on these incredible developments | 0:10:46 | 0:10:50 | |
is the oldest human I've ever met, Bob Hale, with the Human Report. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
Bob. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:54 | |
Thank you, Sam, I think. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
Well, it's a whopping seven million years ago, | 0:10:57 | 0:10:59 | |
here we are in Africa and here comes your family. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
Well, OK, they're chimpanzees | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
but these particular ones look a little different to all the others. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
There's something about the face, or maybe it's the teeth | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
or perhaps the "I'm Evolving" t-shirt. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:10 | |
Whatever it is, there's a subtle difference that might just be | 0:11:10 | 0:11:13 | |
the first tiny steps towards becoming you and me. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
Well, you, anyway. I'm much better looking. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
And if we zip forward a million years, | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
we find a series of these tiny changes have combined to make | 0:11:20 | 0:11:22 | |
a chimp that's no longer a chimp at all. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
Yes, it's a Orrorin Tugenensis. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
A whole new species that boldly stands on its own two feet | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
by standing on its own two feet. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:30 | |
And give it another million years to practice they're even walking around, | 0:11:30 | 0:11:33 | |
teaching their tiny brains to put one foot in front of the other, | 0:11:33 | 0:11:36 | |
like this. Oh! | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
More difficult than it looks, isn't it? | 0:11:38 | 0:11:39 | |
But by three million years ago, | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
they've got this walking business sorted and how do we know this? | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
Because we found the skeleton of the Southern Ape nicknamed Lucy, | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
just like my first girlfriend. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
And she's 1.2 metres tall with short legs, | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
a hook jaw, and a brain the size of an orange, | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
just like my first girlfriend. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:53 | |
But more importantly, Lucy's skeleton proves that she walked on two legs | 0:11:53 | 0:11:57 | |
most of the time, just as we do today. | 0:11:57 | 0:11:59 | |
That's Lucy the Ape Skeleton, of course, not Lucy my first girlfriend | 0:11:59 | 0:12:02 | |
who is alive and well and has a successful radio career. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
So the apes are now upright but they're still basically apes. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:08 | |
But not for long! | 0:12:08 | 0:12:09 | |
Yes, a trifling two and a half million years ago | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
up popped Homo Habilis. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:12 | |
Latin for handyman and a lot cheaper than the guy who put in my bathroom. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:16 | |
Yes, he starts using tools and as such, he's the first true human. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
A fact I will now celebrate using this early party popper. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
IT SQUELCHES | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
Needs work. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:25 | |
Anyway our little handy man switches to a protein rich diet | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
which helped him to grow a bigger brain and design better tools | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
so he can catch better food, leading to bigger brains and better tools, | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
and better food, and bigger brains and better tools and better food... | 0:12:34 | 0:12:37 | |
Sorry, yeah, got a bit stuck. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:38 | |
Anyway, as the African forests recede into desert, mankind has to evolve | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
just to keep up, so about 1.9 million years ago, | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
Homo Ergaster appears and since the desert is so hot, | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
he loses all his fur. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:48 | |
Though we've blurred that out to save his embarrassment. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
Meanwhile, over in Asia, Homo Ergaster's cousin has appeared, | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
Homo Erectus, and he has discovered fire, | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
which means he can now cook meat which helps him to eat better | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
and grow bigger brains and make better tools and kill better food | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
and... No, no, no! Not the stick. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
Anyway, Homo Erectus is gradually replaced by Homo Heidelbergensis | 0:13:04 | 0:13:08 | |
who at over 2 metres tall has a very long stride | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
which helps him to stroll all the way across into Stone Age Europe. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
He is right handed, like me, has developed a primitive language | 0:13:13 | 0:13:17 | |
like what done do, | 0:13:17 | 0:13:18 | |
and likes to stab animals with spears which is where we differ. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
Nut, gradually, Heidelbergensis evolved into a chap | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
you've probably heard of, | 0:13:23 | 0:13:24 | |
Neanderthal man, who's short, squat and awful at running. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:27 | |
A bit like my second girlfriend who I'd rather forget. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:30 | |
And Neanderthals have pretty big brains | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
but you'd never know it from their hunting technique, | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
which is to jump on huge animals and try and wrestle them to death. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
A great spectator sport. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:38 | |
And what do you know, here comes some spectators. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:41 | |
Yes, it's our friend from Africa who has now evolved into... | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
..bah, bah, bah, bah, bah! | 0:13:44 | 0:13:45 | |
Homo Sapiens, just like you and me. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:48 | |
Yes, the search for food has led us up out of Africa and into Europe. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:51 | |
So now we have both Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
in the same place at the same time, fighting for the same food. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
But not for long! | 0:13:57 | 0:13:58 | |
With better hunting techniques | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
and needing less food to fuel their smaller bodies, | 0:14:00 | 0:14:03 | |
Homo Sapiens have the edge and a mere 24,000 years ago, | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
Neanderthals die out, leaving us, Homo Sapiens, behind. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
So there we have it. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:09 | |
Evolution in a nutshell. And what's to say it's stopped there? | 0:14:09 | 0:14:12 | |
Perhaps in the future our thumbs will evolve to text quicker | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
or our ears to listen to louder music, | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
or maybe Sam will finally develop a way | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
to check our emails and do her nails at the same time. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
What do you reckon, Sam? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:21 | |
No comment. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:26 | |
Argh! | 0:14:26 | 0:14:27 | |
Although men evolved from monkeys millions of years ago, | 0:14:28 | 0:14:31 | |
it wasn't until the Victorian era that the theory of evolution | 0:14:31 | 0:14:35 | |
was first put forward by a man called Charles Darwin. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:39 | |
# Mmmmm, yeah | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
# Mmmmm, yeah | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
# People thought all animals arrived here unrelated | 0:14:49 | 0:14:54 | |
# The world began and then came man All perfectly created | 0:14:54 | 0:14:58 | |
# But then someone looked up a tree | 0:14:58 | 0:15:00 | |
# And said that monkey looks just like me | 0:15:02 | 0:15:05 | |
# So it really was a mystery | 0:15:05 | 0:15:08 | |
# What I'd learned in natural history | 0:15:10 | 0:15:13 | |
# So I joined HMS Beagle watched the eagle and the seagull | 0:15:13 | 0:15:18 | |
# We studied rocks and plants flowers, trees and bees and ants | 0:15:18 | 0:15:22 | |
# Slept on hammocks without pillows | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
# Eating rats and armadillos | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
# Till I realised on reflection | 0:15:26 | 0:15:29 | |
# It's natural selection | 0:15:30 | 0:15:36 | |
# Yeah | 0:15:38 | 0:15:39 | |
# Natural selection means each animal evolved | 0:15:39 | 0:15:44 | |
# To blend with its surroundings ch-ch-changes were involved | 0:15:44 | 0:15:48 | |
# So birds with different foods to seek | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
# Seemed to have developed different beaks | 0:15:52 | 0:15:56 | |
# And over time they'd modified | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
# So just the fittest of them all survived | 0:15:59 | 0:16:04 | |
# On the isles of Galapagos | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
# I noted the giant tortoise had interesting shells | 0:16:06 | 0:16:10 | |
# And I wrote on them as well | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
# Iguanas learned at swimming meant my new theory was winning | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
# It all lead in the direction | 0:16:16 | 0:16:20 | |
# Of natural selection | 0:16:21 | 0:16:25 | |
# My findings met with outrage from the Ch-Ch-Church of England | 0:16:25 | 0:16:30 | |
# And from me | 0:16:30 | 0:16:31 | |
# The idea that we came from ch-ch-chimps | 0:16:34 | 0:16:37 | |
# Questioned my own Christianity | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
# But it was hard to disagree | 0:16:39 | 0:16:41 | |
# Every species, new mutation had a perfect explanation | 0:16:41 | 0:16:46 | |
# It seemed the world's inception must predate common perception | 0:16:46 | 0:16:50 | |
# And an lack of adaptation | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
# It's a fatal limitation | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
# So each creature's imperfection over time gets a correction | 0:16:54 | 0:16:58 | |
# Meaning animal collections grow unique means of protection | 0:16:58 | 0:17:02 | |
# And to fail nature's inspection means immediate conjecture | 0:17:02 | 0:17:06 | |
# Which all leads to the detection | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
# Of natural selection | 0:17:10 | 0:17:15 | |
# Natural selection. # | 0:17:15 | 0:17:19 | |
-Good morning. -Morning, Lord Sugar. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
Are my eyes deceiving me? One of the teams is late. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
Nobody's late for my boardroom. | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
They'd better be dead, or else I'm going to kill them. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
Now, Team Merchant, who was your project manager? | 0:17:43 | 0:17:47 | |
Me, Lord Sugar. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:48 | |
This task was perfectly simple. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
I gave you 200 gold coins and you had to invest them. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:54 | |
What did you do with my money? | 0:17:54 | 0:17:55 | |
Well, we, er, purchased a ship, sailed to the Caribbean | 0:17:55 | 0:17:59 | |
and bought some sugar. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:00 | |
Sugar's a really expensive item back home in Georgian England. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:03 | |
Plan is, buy it from a Caribbean island, | 0:18:03 | 0:18:06 | |
ship it home, sell it. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:07 | |
Sugar turns a tidy profit. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:08 | |
Yeah, well, this Sugar turns a tidy profit an' all. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:11 | |
Karen, how did their little import venture go? | 0:18:11 | 0:18:13 | |
Er, not so well, Lord Sugar. They were attacked by pirates. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:17 | |
BANG | 0:18:17 | 0:18:18 | |
Prepare to be boarded, you scaredy land-lovers. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:22 | |
You're late. Sit down. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:23 | |
Team Pirates, who was your project manager? | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
-I prefer the term captain. -Yeah, well, I prefer the term king, | 0:18:26 | 0:18:30 | |
but I've got to make do with plain, old lord. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
-So, how were you chosen? -The only way a true pirate can be. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:37 | |
We had a vote on it and I came out on top. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
Have I got mug written across my head? | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
In point of fact, Lord Sugar, it's true. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:44 | |
Team Pirate did take a democratic vote | 0:18:44 | 0:18:46 | |
to see who'd be project manager and Black Bart was elected. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:50 | |
I did not expect that. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:51 | |
So, was it your idea, then, | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
to attack the merchant ship? | 0:18:53 | 0:18:54 | |
I'd prefer to call it a hostile takeover. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
Hostile! I'll say. People were killed. | 0:18:57 | 0:19:00 | |
Well, sometimes in business, | 0:19:00 | 0:19:02 | |
-you do have to be a little bit ruthless, don't you? -Mmm. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
So, who was in charge of your security then? | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
He was in charge, it was his fault. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
Oh, no, I actually had the vessel fitted out | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
with the very latest anti-pirate systems, paintings of cannons. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:15 | |
I could've sworn I just heard you say "paintings of cannons". | 0:19:15 | 0:19:18 | |
They looked just like the real thing. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
-I told him they wouldn't work. -He didn't. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
I...I did. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:23 | |
That's a bare-faced lie. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:24 | |
Shut it! Bart and his pirates took over the merchant ship. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:28 | |
Job done, right? | 0:19:28 | 0:19:29 | |
No, not exactly. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:30 | |
Team Pirate's ship was so full of booty | 0:19:30 | 0:19:33 | |
they'd taken from other hostile takeovers, | 0:19:33 | 0:19:35 | |
they didn't have any room on board for Team Merchant's cargo. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
Arr, it is true. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:40 | |
So, we decided to sell back the ship and its cargo to them. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:44 | |
-Did you buy it? -If we didn't, they were going to burn the ship. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:48 | |
-They had us over a barrel. -I don't believe this. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
Karen, what kind of a profit did Team Merchant turn over? | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
Well, they ended up buying their ship and cargo twice, | 0:19:53 | 0:19:57 | |
and then, their ship sank on the way back to England, | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
so they brought back nothing. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
Or rather, one small, silver fish. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:05 | |
And Team Pirate? | 0:20:05 | 0:20:06 | |
It wasn't just this merchant ship they took over and sold back, | 0:20:06 | 0:20:09 | |
they actually did the same trick to ten other merchant vessels. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
Their profit, 1,000 gold coins. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
So, one team brings back a small fortune, | 0:20:15 | 0:20:19 | |
the other team brings back a small fish. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:22 | |
It doesn't take a genius to work out who's going to get fired today. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:26 | |
Arr. If anyone's going to get fired, it be you, | 0:20:26 | 0:20:30 | |
-out of a cannon. -Oh, he's good, isn't he? | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
D'you know what, I see a bit of myself in you. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
-Really? -Yeah. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
You're hired. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:38 | |
Thank you so much. I won't let you down. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:42 | |
The answer is... | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
Despite being a pirate, he was a highly religious man. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:02 | |
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
As you may have heard, the signs have been taken down | 0:21:14 | 0:21:18 | |
from all British railway stations, | 0:21:18 | 0:21:19 | |
due to the threat of a Nazi invasion. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
In theory, with no place names visible, | 0:21:22 | 0:21:24 | |
the German paratroopers will have no idea where they've landed. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:27 | |
-Good idea. -I will, however, be announcing | 0:21:27 | 0:21:29 | |
the name of each station as we approach it. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:32 | |
-Excuse me. -Yes, madam. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:34 | |
-W-What if one of us is German? -Sorry? | 0:21:34 | 0:21:37 | |
What if there's a German somewhere in the carriage, | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
-you'd be telling them where we are. -Good point. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
Er, revision to the earlier rule. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
Instead of me telling you where we are, | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
you shout out where you think we are and I'll cough if you're right. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:52 | |
But the German will still hear us shouting out the name, won't he? | 0:21:52 | 0:21:56 | |
All right. Er, new rule. | 0:21:56 | 0:21:58 | |
If you think you know where we are, | 0:21:58 | 0:22:00 | |
whisper it to the person next to you and then ask them to pass it along. | 0:22:00 | 0:22:05 | |
When the whisper reaches me, I will stamp my foot. | 0:22:05 | 0:22:08 | |
Once if your right. TAP | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 | |
Twice if you're wrong. TAP TAP | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
What if one of us whispers it to the German? | 0:22:12 | 0:22:14 | |
Yeah. Mmm-hmm. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
OK, new rule. Er, ask the person next to you | 0:22:16 | 0:22:20 | |
to whisper the words to God Save The King. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
If they get them right, they're not German | 0:22:22 | 0:22:25 | |
and you can whisper the name of the station to them, | 0:22:25 | 0:22:27 | |
then they can whisper the name to the person next to them. | 0:22:27 | 0:22:30 | |
Provided the person next to you | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
-knows the words to God Save The King. -Well, of course. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
-Yes? -I'm not German, but I don't know the words to God Save The King. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:39 | |
All right. New rule. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:43 | |
If you think you know the name of the next station, | 0:22:43 | 0:22:47 | |
write it down on a piece of paper and hand the piece of paper to me. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:51 | |
If you're right, | 0:22:51 | 0:22:52 | |
I will whisper the name to the nearest person to me | 0:22:52 | 0:22:57 | |
who knows the words to God Save The King | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
and then they can shout out the name of the... | 0:22:59 | 0:23:02 | |
No. No, no. | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
-Yes. -I'm ze German. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
Would it help if I just got off the train? | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
Oh. D'you know, that would be marvellous. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
OK, the next station is Coventry. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:17 | |
Coventry, next station. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
It's true. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:22 | |
At the start of World War II, to confuse enemy German invaders, | 0:23:22 | 0:23:26 | |
the signs were removed from train stations. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
The signs were removed from roads as well, | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
as if driving wasn't hard enough already. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
Wouldn't worry me, of course. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:34 | |
I get my sense of direction from these good, old whiskers. Ha-ha. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:38 | |
Driving in Britain during World War II was a real challenge. | 0:23:39 | 0:23:44 | |
So much petrol was needed for the war effort | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
that it was in very short supply. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
Uh-oh, running out of petrol. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
So some cars were re-fitted to run on household gas. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:55 | |
It was a brilliant idea. | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
Except, of course, that it required a huge bag. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:00 | |
And as you used up the gas, the bag started to droop over the windscreen | 0:24:00 | 0:24:05 | |
which made it very difficult for the driver. | 0:24:05 | 0:24:08 | |
Good grief, I can't see a thing. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:09 | |
Whoops, whoops. Woah. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
Oh, no. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:13 | |
So, someone had the brilliant idea of building a crate | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
to hold the bag in place. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
There, that's much better. | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
Which, unfortunately, made the car | 0:24:20 | 0:24:23 | |
very, very heavy. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
-Ah, think I'll walk. -Yes, it's probably for the best. | 0:24:27 | 0:24:31 | |
It was during King Charles II's reign | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
that women were allowed to act for the first time | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
and soon, there were some brand new stars of the stage. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
This week in Oh Yea! Magazine, | 0:24:47 | 0:24:48 | |
the Stuart superstar who's the hottest ticket in town. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:51 | |
Yes, it's our Nell Gwynn special. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:53 | |
Read my rags to riches story. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:55 | |
How I went from being a humble orange seller to a famous actress. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:59 | |
It's all here, in Oh Yea! Magazine. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:02 | |
All the hot gossip from the people who knew her best. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:05 | |
I was the manager at the theatre where she used to sell her oranges. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
"Oranges, get your oranges here. What flavour would you like, sir? | 0:25:08 | 0:25:12 | |
"Orange, orange, orange or orange? | 0:25:12 | 0:25:14 | |
"I'm afraid we're out of orange." Brilliant. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:17 | |
Read how I got talent spotted | 0:25:17 | 0:25:18 | |
and became the most celebrated theatre actress | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
in the last 20 years. | 0:25:21 | 0:25:22 | |
Given that the Puritans had banned theatre for 20 years, | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
there wasn't much competition. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:27 | |
Oi, cheeky! | 0:25:27 | 0:25:28 | |
And discover the identity of Nell's secret boyfriend. | 0:25:28 | 0:25:31 | |
She's the most beautiful and witty of all my subjects. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:34 | |
Oh, have I given it away? | 0:25:34 | 0:25:36 | |
Secret boyfriend? | 0:25:36 | 0:25:37 | |
Everyone knows I'm going out with King Charles II. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:40 | |
Mind you, most people seem to be going out with King Charles II. | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
What can I say? I'm a lady magnet. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:45 | |
And in this week's Oh Yea! Magazine, | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
we go totally bananas with our banana competition, | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
in which you could win, yes, you've guessed it, a pineapple. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
Second prize is a banana. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:54 | |
For all the juice on your favourite stars, | 0:25:54 | 0:25:57 | |
it's got to be Oh Yea! Magazine. | 0:25:57 | 0:25:58 | |
Come on, you know you wanna. Ah-ha. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:01 | |
Under Puritan rule, women had not been allowed to act. | 0:26:01 | 0:26:04 | |
So, all female parts were played by men dressed as women. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:08 | |
I say, this play's like a panto. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:11 | |
Oh, no, it isn't. Oh, yes, it is. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
Charles II was all in favour of getting actresses on the stage. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:16 | |
Yes, good, old Charles. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
He certainly knew how to entertain people. | 0:26:18 | 0:26:21 | |
Well, do tuck in, Mr Ambassador. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:24 | |
-ITALIAN ACCENT: Are you not going to say grace first? -Yeah. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 | |
Party on. | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
-Amen? -Big time. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:33 | |
Shouldn't we wait for your other guests to sit down first? | 0:26:33 | 0:26:36 | |
-Other guests? -Er. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:38 | |
Oh, them. No, no, no. They're not guests. | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
You see, the common man, no offence, | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
is allowed to come and watch me, their fabulous king, | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
eat his din-dins on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
-It's a sort of public performance. -Well, maybe I'll come back | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
Tuesday or the Thursday. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:54 | |
No, no, no, no. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:55 | |
You don't mind, do you? | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
See. Now tuck in, old boy. How is Italy at this time of year? | 0:26:57 | 0:27:01 | |
Well, the area down south is very nice. Er... | 0:27:01 | 0:27:04 | |
Problem? | 0:27:04 | 0:27:06 | |
I think they are moving closer. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:08 | |
I sincerely doubt it. | 0:27:08 | 0:27:10 | |
-Now, you were saying about the beaches. -Yes, the area of Calabria, | 0:27:10 | 0:27:13 | |
well, it is... | 0:27:13 | 0:27:14 | |
No, I am sure they are moving closer. | 0:27:14 | 0:27:16 | |
-There's a rope. -Maybe they are moving the rope closer. | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
Ha-ha-ha. You and your impossible theory. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:22 | |
Now, come on, old sausage, tell me all about Calabria. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:26 | |
Yes, well, it is very small region and, er... | 0:27:26 | 0:27:29 | |
-No, they're definitely moving closer. -OK. | 0:27:29 | 0:27:31 | |
There's only one way to sort this out. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
Are you lot moving any closer? | 0:27:34 | 0:27:36 | |
See. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:37 | |
Now, I'll have no more of these groundless accusations... | 0:27:37 | 0:27:40 | |
This is ridiculous. | 0:27:42 | 0:27:43 | |
Oh, no, no, no. Don't go, you know I hate eating alone. | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
Party for one, Charlie? | 0:27:49 | 0:27:51 | |
Looks that way, old boy. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:53 | |
Looks that way. | 0:27:53 | 0:27:55 | |
# Tall tales, atrocious acts | 0:27:55 | 0:27:56 | |
# We gave you all the fearsome facts... # | 0:27:56 | 0:27:57 | |
If you enjoyed that, why not come and play? | 0:27:57 | 0:28:01 | |
Go to the CBBC website and click on Horrible Histories. | 0:28:01 | 0:28:04 | |
See you there! | 0:28:04 | 0:28:06 | |
# The past is no longer a mystery | 0:28:06 | 0:28:08 | |
# Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories. # | 0:28:08 | 0:28:11 |