Browse content similar to Episode 8. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights | 0:00:04 | 0:00:07 | |
# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times | 0:00:09 | 0:00:12 | |
# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless | 0:00:12 | 0:00:15 | |
# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
# Gory stories, we do that And your host, a talking rat | 0:00:18 | 0:00:22 | |
# The past is no longer a mystery Welcome to... | 0:00:22 | 0:00:27 | |
# Horrible Histories. # | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
Terrible Tudors. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:35 | |
Elizabeth I was as frightening as she was powerful. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:40 | |
So at the royal court you had to be careful what you said | 0:00:40 | 0:00:44 | |
and what you did. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
The Earl of Oxford, Edward De Vere. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
My Queen, I am as ever at your service. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
HE FARTS | 0:00:52 | 0:00:53 | |
Did what I think just happened, just happen? | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
Yes, I rather fear it did, Your Majesty. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
Your Majesty, I don't know what to say. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
Cecil, what is the punishment for passing wind in front of the Queen? | 0:01:02 | 0:01:06 | |
We don't have one, Your Majesty, | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
no-one has ever dared do such a thing before. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
Or if they have, | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
they've had least had the decency to cover it up with a well timed cough. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
Couldn't we just pretend that this never happened? | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
Oh, would that we could, De Vere, would that we could. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
If memory serves, Your Majesty, you did once banish your godson, | 0:01:22 | 0:01:26 | |
John Harrington, from court for a rude joke. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
And for how long did I banish him? | 0:01:28 | 0:01:31 | |
Six years. | 0:01:31 | 0:01:32 | |
And would you say passing wind was better or worse than a rude joke? | 0:01:32 | 0:01:36 | |
Well, surely that would depend on the rudeness of the joke | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
and the stinkiness of the far... | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
We've had quite enough of you, De Vere, from both ends. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:45 | |
I would say that passing wind in front or Your Majesty | 0:01:45 | 0:01:48 | |
was definitely worse by at least a year. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
And so would I. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:52 | |
Before you banish me, Your Majesty, I will do the gentlemanly thing | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
and banish myself from court for seven years. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:58 | |
Thus saving a shred of my dignity and honour. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
Your Majesty, I am as ever your humble servant. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
Oh, do not bow, I dread to think what may happen. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
Now, off you go and mind you clench your but-tocks. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
It is for the best, Your Majesty. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:13 | |
HE FARTS | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
That was the chair, Your Majesty. The chair. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
A likely story. Ugh! | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:02:22 | 0:02:23 | |
Some people think that Shakespeare didn't write his plays | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
and that they were actually written by Edward De Vere. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:30 | |
That's right, windy De Vere. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
What would his plays have been called? | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
Henry IV Fart Two, Much Ado about Trumping? | 0:02:35 | 0:02:40 | |
Romeo and Windybum? | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
And there were some stupid goings on at the royal court | 0:02:44 | 0:02:48 | |
in France as well. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
# They're funny cos they're true | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
# Whoo! Stupid deaths, stupid deaths Hope next time it's not you. # | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
Hee hee! | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
What do you think? I made them for you out of ping pong balls. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:06 | |
All right, keep your hair on. Happen to think they suit you. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:10 | |
Next! | 0:03:10 | 0:03:11 | |
Name? | 0:03:11 | 0:03:12 | |
Diane De Poitiers. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
Occupation? | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
How dare you insult me! I do not need an occupation. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
Oh, am I treading on eggshells today or what? | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
Sorry, Diane, what do you do with your time, love? | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
I am a French noblewoman | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
and the girlfriend of King Henry II of France. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:30 | |
And you, stop staring at me or I will have you flogged. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:33 | |
Oh, let me sort that for you. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:35 | |
Right, everybody happy now? Then let's continue. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:41 | |
To get noticed at the king's court in France | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
one has to look one's best. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
I can imagine. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:46 | |
I have my own special method to keep myself looking so youthful. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:51 | |
-Which was? -Gold leaf. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
-Oh, you wore it? -Oh, no, no, I ate it. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
Sorry, you ate it? | 0:03:55 | 0:03:56 | |
Oui, I had a spoonful of gold leaf every day for years. | 0:03:56 | 0:04:01 | |
And what happened? | 0:04:01 | 0:04:02 | |
I died of heavy metal poisoning. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:04 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
That's brilliant, Diane, you're through to the afterlife. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:10 | |
Oh, hey, let's hope they don't play any heavy metal music there. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:14 | |
Stupid man. | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
That was a good one, I thought. What did you think? | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
Comedy gold? Phew, don't get it. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
Yes, I do. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:22 | |
I was going to say that, in fact I will. Comedy gold. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:26 | |
Whatever! | 0:04:26 | 0:04:27 | |
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths Hope next time it's not you. # | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
Hoo-hoo. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
Vicious Vikings. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
-HE SHOUTS: -Hi, I'm a shouty man | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
and I'm here to tell you about the new Runic Alphabet. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
The easy-to-carve writing system that's taking | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
the Viking world by storm. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:48 | |
Do you have a bad memory? | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
Or perhaps you have a bad memory. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:52 | |
Or maybe you even have a bad memory. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
Then the old Viking system of learning things off by heart | 0:04:55 | 0:04:58 | |
is not for you. But don't worry! | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
Help is at hand with the sensational new runic alphabet. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:04 | |
The simple angular letters can be quickly carved into any wall, | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
rock or twig, making writing things down | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
the new not writing things down. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
Yes! Using new Viking runes means that this simple stick can be | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
turned into... A prayer to the gods. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
A personal message. A business letter. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
Or an expression of affection. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
Thank you, Joan, I feel a bit the same way. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
And when you're finished it makes an excellent dog toy. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:05:28 | 0:05:29 | |
Fetch, boy! | 0:05:29 | 0:05:30 | |
And that's not all. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:31 | |
The new runic alphabet | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
was discovered by the Viking god Odin, so it has mystical powers. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:37 | |
Simply carve healing charms into a whale bone to help heal the sick. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:42 | |
Now read that four times a day. That's Shouty Man Junior. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:46 | |
And why not let people know where you've been with some good | 0:05:46 | 0:05:49 | |
old Viking runic graffiti? | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
"Olaf was here." | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
To be honest, I think they already knew you were here, mate. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:57 | |
So order new runic alphabet today | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
because the writing's on the wall, | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
for not writing on the wall! | 0:06:01 | 0:06:03 | |
We Vikings used to write runes on stones called, wait for it, | 0:06:03 | 0:06:08 | |
rune stones. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:09 | |
Some tell of how we embraced a new religion. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:12 | |
May I help you, sir? | 0:06:15 | 0:06:16 | |
Yeah, I'm looking for something for my wife. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
Oh, very nice too, sir. And what did you have in mind? | 0:06:18 | 0:06:21 | |
Well, she's quite religious, so I was thinking some sort of amulet. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
Ah, I have the very thing. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
How about this delightful Thor's Hammer amulet, | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
cast in solid silver from this handcrafted soapstone mould? | 0:06:29 | 0:06:33 | |
It's the ideal way to honour the Norse god of Thunder. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:36 | |
Ah, actually, my wife and I don't worship the Norse gods any more, | 0:06:36 | 0:06:40 | |
we've converted to Christianity. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
I see, well, in that case | 0:06:41 | 0:06:44 | |
I highly recommend... | 0:06:44 | 0:06:45 | |
..this Christian crucifix amulet, | 0:06:47 | 0:06:50 | |
cast in solid silver from this handcrafted soapstone mould. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
It's the ideal way to honour your Christian God, Father and Son. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
Come off it, that's just the hammer one the other way up. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
It's been clearly cast from exactly the same mould. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:01 | |
Oh, no, no, not at all, sir. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
For as you can see, the Thor's Hammer amulet is mould number 66. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:08 | |
And the crucifix one... | 0:07:08 | 0:07:10 | |
..is mould number 99. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
I see, well that's my mistake then. I'll take the crucifix one, please. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
That'll be nine silver clippings, sir. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:20 | |
There you go. Thank you very much. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
Oh, er, wait a minute, sir. I said nine and this is only a six. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:29 | |
Turn it up the other way. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
It's true! | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
Archaeologists have found a mould that made both pagan | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
Thor Hammers and Christian crucifixes, so the devious | 0:07:37 | 0:07:41 | |
merchant could use the one mould for both pagans and Christians. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:45 | |
Actually I have some cheese with mould in the shape of a cross. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:48 | |
Hm, or is it Thor's Hammer? Hm... | 0:07:48 | 0:07:53 | |
You're watching HH TV sport bringing you exclusive live sporting | 0:08:01 | 0:08:05 | |
events from the past. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:06 | |
Today is football, and time to go over to the 1950s | 0:08:06 | 0:08:10 | |
to join our reporter, who's about to meet a very special player. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:15 | |
I've come to 1951, where I'm here to interview the greatest | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
English football striker of all time. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
Er... | 0:08:21 | 0:08:22 | |
Sorry, do you mind moving along, please, love? | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
I'm here to interview the all-time greatest English football striker. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:28 | |
Well, you're looking at her. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:29 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
What, really? | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
Yeah. My name's Lily Parr. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
I scored over 900 goals in my career. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:38 | |
I scored 43 goals in me first season and I were only 14 at the time. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:42 | |
Wow, that's impressive. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
In 1920, 53,000 people turned up at a ladies' match at Goodison Park | 0:08:44 | 0:08:48 | |
and I was star attraction. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
Well, shall we...shall we carry on the interview? | 0:08:50 | 0:08:53 | |
Let's do this, OK. So, Lily, tell us how did your career start? | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
Well, when all the men went off to fight in First World War, | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
women's football came right popular. I worked at a munitions factory | 0:08:59 | 0:09:03 | |
and I played for the ladies' football team. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
We used to draw huge crowds. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
I see, but when the war ended and the men came back, | 0:09:07 | 0:09:11 | |
I imagine everyone went back to watching men's football? | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
No. No, you see the ladies' game was still really popular, | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
so popular, in fact, that in 1921 the Football Association | 0:09:16 | 0:09:21 | |
got nervous that we were threatening the male game, | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
so they banned women from playing at official league grounds. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
Oh, that is a shame, isn't it? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
But let's be honest, men are better at football than women, aren't they? | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
Listen, mate, I've played against men at exhibition matches | 0:09:33 | 0:09:37 | |
and I'm telling you now, I've got harder shot than any of them. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
-I don't think so. -I do think so. -Well, I don't. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:43 | |
This is Tony Codger reporting for HH TV News. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
Oh! She's not wrong, she's got a kick like a flipping mule. Oh! | 0:09:46 | 0:09:50 | |
Lily was a great role model for young footballers, | 0:09:51 | 0:09:55 | |
but not that great, because she used to smoke lots of cigarettes. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:59 | |
Silly Lily. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
Time now for a fanfare to introduce our next popular performer. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:05 | |
HE FARTS | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
Le Petomane. | 0:10:10 | 0:10:12 | |
-FRENCH ACCENT: -The DVD the early 20th century has been waiting for. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:16 | |
Joseph Pujol's explosive act | 0:10:16 | 0:10:17 | |
that's been selling out the Moulin Rouge Cabaret in Paris. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
Just wait until you hear which instrument he's playing. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
LOUD FARTING | 0:10:23 | 0:10:24 | |
CRIES OF DISGUST | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
It's Le Petomane's windy performance on the pump cannon, | 0:10:27 | 0:10:31 | |
live at the Moulin Rouge Cabaret club in Paris. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:35 | |
Every performance is a blast. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
The show always goes down a storm, even with royalty in the audience. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:40 | |
Don't miss his famous farmyard impressions. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
# With a... FARTING AND BAAING | 0:10:44 | 0:10:45 | |
# And a... FARTING AND BAAING | 0:10:45 | 0:10:47 | |
# Here a...there a... | 0:10:47 | 0:10:48 | |
# Everywhere a... FARTING AND BAAING | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
# Old Macdonald had a farm E-I-E-I | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
LOUD FART # Ohhh! # | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
His sell-out show is now touring the biggest theatres in Europe. | 0:10:55 | 0:10:58 | |
Merci, thank you and good night. PARP | 0:11:00 | 0:11:03 | |
Available now on DVD. The actor that everyone's gassing about. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:08 | |
One of our great Georgian inventors was George Stephenson. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:18 | |
He wanted to build a network of railways for his locomotive. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:21 | |
But first he had to persuade some powerful politicians, | 0:11:21 | 0:11:25 | |
including the Duke of Wellington. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:28 | |
Confound it, the man is late. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:29 | |
Nobody keeps the Duke of Wellington waiting, least of all this idiot. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:34 | |
Mr Stephenson, you're late. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
-GEORDIE ACCENT: -I wouldn't if I'd been able to travel to London | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
by train, like. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
I've never heard anything so ridiculous. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
Yes, his northern accent is somewhat amusing. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
I meant the idea of travelling by train. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
Er, yes of course, quite ridiculous. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
Well, locomotives are the future. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
-Poppycock. -Wellington, we did say we would give Mr Stephenson a fair | 0:11:52 | 0:11:56 | |
hearing before deciding on the fate of his so-called railways. | 0:11:56 | 0:11:59 | |
-Indeed we did. -My railway system's totally going to change... | 0:11:59 | 0:12:03 | |
Permission denied, I've heard enough. Locomotives haring up | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
and down the countryside. You'll terrify the cows. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:09 | |
It will probably make their milk curdle. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
If it doesn't just make them die | 0:12:11 | 0:12:13 | |
of shock. Right, Sir Robert? | 0:12:13 | 0:12:15 | |
-SLURRING: -Eh...? It's a disgrace, an absolute disgrace. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
-Well put, sir. -Ach, away, man, | 0:12:19 | 0:12:21 | |
the locomotives are going to revolutionise transport. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
People are going to be able to get up to speeds of 20 miles per hour! | 0:12:24 | 0:12:27 | |
Can a human even survive at such speeds? | 0:12:27 | 0:12:30 | |
Their eyes would get sucked from their skulls. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
A man on horseback can go at twice that speed. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
Then they'll be shaken silly by the vibrations. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
No, my railway system's totally safe. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:41 | |
It'll give ordinary folk the freedom to go quickly round the country. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:45 | |
How will we keep the poor people | 0:12:45 | 0:12:48 | |
in their place? Eh? Eh? | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
It's a disgrace, | 0:12:50 | 0:12:51 | |
an absolute disgrace. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:52 | |
Well put, that man. And criminals will be able to escape from the law. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:56 | |
That's if they don't die going 20 miles an hour(!) | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
-Precisely. -Wellington does make a strong case, I'm afraid. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:03 | |
And there is nothing you can possibly say to convince us. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:06 | |
Your railways will never be built. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
Do you have anything else to add before I Wellington boot you out? | 0:13:08 | 0:13:12 | |
My railway system's going to be phenomenally popular, right? | 0:13:12 | 0:13:15 | |
So if you invest in my company you'll make train loads of cash. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:19 | |
Your railway sounds like a marvellous idea! | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
-I've always been in favour. -Oh, yeah, yeah. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
It's a disgrace, an absolute disgrace. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:30 | |
Ignore him! He doesn't know what he's saying. Go back to sleep. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
HE MURMURS A LULLABY | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
There were lots of objections to Stephenson's railway proposals, | 0:13:35 | 0:13:38 | |
which meant the trains were delayed. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:41 | |
The trains were delayed! You mean like they always are? | 0:13:41 | 0:13:45 | |
Anyway, there were a number of transport pioneers who really | 0:13:45 | 0:13:49 | |
changed the way we get around. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
With imagination. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
Inspiration. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
Innovation. | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
And perspiration. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:03 | |
ALL: We revolutionised transportation! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:07 | |
# Stephenson's the name and my steam engine's the best you will find | 0:14:08 | 0:14:12 | |
# It was the Rocket, it was called the Rocket | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
# It pulled a train to carry passengers | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
# And was the first of its kind | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
# Caused a commotion doing the locomotion | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
# Was best by miles and won top prize | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
# At the Rainhill Trials | 0:14:23 | 0:14:27 | |
# The Lords said it was dangerous then saw how many tickets could sell | 0:14:27 | 0:14:30 | |
# The toffs were off it till they saw a profit | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
# And so he paved the way for me I'm Isambard Kingdom Brunel | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
# An engineer and famous pioneer | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
# Railways off pat A massive hat | 0:14:38 | 0:14:41 | |
# And to top that ... | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
# I was a tunnel-building bridge-creating, hard-grafting | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
# Ship-crafting polymath in search of a way | 0:14:47 | 0:14:51 | |
# To take my train through my tunnel 'cross my bridge to my ship | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
# And sail me fastest to the USA | 0:14:54 | 0:14:56 | |
# My steam ship it made the trip in just 14 days | 0:14:56 | 0:15:02 | |
# There across the ocean was clever old me, I'm quite a star | 0:15:02 | 0:15:06 | |
# He's Henry Ford, yes, that's what he's called | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
# My assembly line's the first to make it cheap to buy a motor car | 0:15:08 | 0:15:12 | |
# From Henry Ford cars you can afford | 0:15:12 | 0:15:15 | |
# I think you'll find made just one kind, but never mind | 0:15:15 | 0:15:20 | |
# I was the fastest rating car creating | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
# Introducing mass producing original Model T guy | 0:15:22 | 0:15:26 | |
BOTH: # We took his engine, a bird wing some bike skills | 0:15:26 | 0:15:29 | |
# Worked until we found out how machines could fly | 0:15:29 | 0:15:33 | |
# Not just a hop, but nonstop Going to get high, high, high | 0:15:33 | 0:15:38 | |
# I'm Orville, was the brains The brawn, my brother Wilbur Wright | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
# We refined the plane that made the first sustained flight | 0:15:41 | 0:15:45 | |
-# Our engine small -But powerful | 0:15:45 | 0:15:46 | |
ALL: # Propelled to a great height! | 0:15:46 | 0:15:50 | |
# They were supreme, our mean machines | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
# The stuff of dreams | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
# We were creative, inventive progress our incentive | 0:16:08 | 0:16:12 | |
# Always searching for a solution | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
# We took some steel and a wheel Made a plane, car and train | 0:16:14 | 0:16:18 | |
# And created a revolution | 0:16:18 | 0:16:21 | |
# Hard to believe what we achieved | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
# Looking back we helped change tack | 0:16:23 | 0:16:27 | |
BOTH: # Transport was duller We added colour. # | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
Well, as long as it's black. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
Your Lordship, the siege has been long and hard. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:45 | |
For five months now your army has battered these walls | 0:16:45 | 0:16:49 | |
and starved the inhabitants. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:51 | |
We have never faced such a fearsome, valiant foe. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:54 | |
Let us offer them terms. You there, noble enemy. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:58 | |
Who is it? | 0:16:58 | 0:17:00 | |
Ahem! It is I, Earl Salisbury, your foe in this siege. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:06 | |
Oh, is there a siege on? I hadn't noticed. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:10 | |
All right, cut it out, Black Agnes, Countess of Moray. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
There is no shame in surrender. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:15 | |
Open your gates and you and your people will leave without harm. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:20 | |
Thanks for the offer, but I dinnae think I'll bother. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:23 | |
I admire your spirit, Black Agnes, | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
but your husband has taken your soldiers off to war. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
Look at the damage my catapults have done to your wall. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:33 | |
Aye, I've been meaning to speak to you about that. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
It's making it awful dusty up here. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
Morag, you've missed a bit. | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
The crazy woman's dusting the walls now. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
I don't think you've quite got a handle on how badly you're losing. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:48 | |
We cut off your food supply five months ago. You must be starving! | 0:17:48 | 0:17:52 | |
Aye, you know I haven't eaten since elevenses. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:56 | |
Och, did I not mention our secret entrance? | 0:17:56 | 0:17:59 | |
We're been getting fresh food in here all the time. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:02 | |
There's plenty to go round if you'd like some. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
I've had enough of this, send in the battering ram. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:08 | |
MEN ROAR | 0:18:08 | 0:18:11 | |
Thanks for the big stones. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:13 | |
This has gone on long enough. It ends now. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:17 | |
I have your brother. Oh, yes, sir. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:20 | |
Surrender your castle or I will kill him at dawn. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:24 | |
Could you do it now? I'd sorely love to inherit his money and lands. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:29 | |
Much appreciated. | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
Right, we're going home. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:32 | |
A full army besieging a virtually defenceless lady | 0:18:32 | 0:18:36 | |
and we can't take the castle in five months. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:38 | |
If anyone asks, we've been on a walking holiday in the Highlands. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:42 | |
Oh, and don't forget your packed lunch. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
Hey, now. Rude. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:50 | |
Douglas and his men wore cow skins to get close to the castle | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
without being seen. And then overpowered the English garrison. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:15 | |
Between World War I and World War II, Germany suffered from | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
hyperinflation - which is when money loses its value very, very quickly. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:29 | |
Carry on. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:30 | |
Wilkommen back to Who Wants To Be A German Millionaire?. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:36 | |
Before the break we asked Heinrich here, | 0:19:36 | 0:19:40 | |
why is the German economy in so much trouble? | 0:19:40 | 0:19:43 | |
He answered C: Because Germany has to pay massive compensation costs | 0:19:43 | 0:19:48 | |
to the Allied forces who won the war. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:52 | |
The answer is... | 0:19:52 | 0:19:53 | |
C! | 0:19:55 | 0:19:57 | |
Congratulations, Heinrich. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:58 | |
-Danke. -You've won 64 million German Marks. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:03 | |
Unfortunately, due to the state of the German economy | 0:20:03 | 0:20:07 | |
that's probably only enough to buy you a wheelbarrow. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
I will need to buy a wheelbarrow just to carry that much cash. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:13 | |
Well, we don't want to give you that. We want to give you this. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:17 | |
128 million German Marks. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:21 | |
That's enough cash to buy you a wheelbarrow. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
But you just said I could get a wheelbarrow for 64 million Marks. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:29 | |
Unfortunately the German economy is in such a bad way, | 0:20:29 | 0:20:32 | |
that prices for everything are rising very, very quickly. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:36 | |
In fact I'm just hearing in my ears that from now on, | 0:20:36 | 0:20:40 | |
one German Mark will now be worth 1,000 German Marks, | 0:20:40 | 0:20:45 | |
so you're actually playing for 128 billion German Marks. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:51 | |
-And what can I buy for that? -Wheelbarrow! | 0:20:51 | 0:20:53 | |
-Thanks. -Next question. | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
By November 1st 1923, how much will a loaf of bread cost? | 0:20:55 | 0:21:03 | |
D: 3 billion Marks. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
3 billion Marks for a loaf of bread? | 0:21:06 | 0:21:08 | |
-Yeah. -Are you sure? | 0:21:08 | 0:21:10 | |
-Yeah. -Final answer? -Yeah, get on with it. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:14 | |
Herr Heinrich, I can tell you the answer is... | 0:21:14 | 0:21:17 | |
..D: 3 billion Marks. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
You have won yourself 128 billion, no, trillion Marks. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:26 | |
I miscounted the noughts. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:27 | |
How will you spend your winnings? | 0:21:27 | 0:21:29 | |
-I'm buying a wheelbarrow. -You can't afford one. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:32 | |
I hate this show, I should have gone on Deal Or Nein Deal. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:36 | |
Imagine that, the money in your pocket becoming worthless overnight. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:41 | |
An angry German public started to support Adolf Hitler's | 0:21:41 | 0:21:44 | |
Nazi Party, and the rest, as they say, is history. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:48 | |
When the American GIs joined World War II, | 0:21:48 | 0:21:51 | |
they certainly liked to flash their cash around. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:54 | |
This month in Gals' Magazine, we're going Yankee crazy. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:58 | |
-Yes the Americans have joined the war. -That's right, boy. | 0:21:58 | 0:22:01 | |
Now their gorgeous GIs are here and they're here to stay. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
Well, for a bit anyway, until they get sent to the front line. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
-In this week's issue, we compare an average British squaddie... -Hello! | 0:22:07 | 0:22:11 | |
-..with the average American GI. -Howdy. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
Check out that slicked-back hair, that deep tan and those great teeth. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:17 | |
GIs have to brush their teeth every day. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
I don't brush every day, there's nothing wrong with my teeth. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:22 | |
And there's more - we look at all the latest trends | 0:22:22 | 0:22:25 | |
they're bringing from across the Atlantic. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:27 | |
You really can dance! | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
What's that funny thing you're doing with your mouth? | 0:22:29 | 0:22:33 | |
I'm chewing gum. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:35 | |
Chewing gum. Wow, he's so classy. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:39 | |
Plus, don't miss our handy guide to speaking American. | 0:22:39 | 0:22:42 | |
Look, Beryl, I can dance good too. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:44 | |
OK. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
What's that supposed to mean? | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
It's kind of like your English, right-ho. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
-That'll never catch on. -HE BURPS | 0:22:51 | 0:22:54 | |
Plus every GI comes with free gifts. | 0:22:54 | 0:22:56 | |
Nylons. Wow. No more stockings made out of gravy for me. | 0:22:56 | 0:23:01 | |
Get off! | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
Yes, you can no longer get nylons in the shops here, | 0:23:03 | 0:23:06 | |
but the Americans have bought loads. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:07 | |
-We got lots of chocolate too. -Oh, you just get better. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:12 | |
All that and more. Well, actually, not more, but all that. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:14 | |
Only in this month's Gals' Magazine. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:16 | |
And, better still, Gals' Magazine is absolutely free | 0:23:16 | 0:23:19 | |
-because a rich GI will buy one for you. -Oh! He's so dreamy. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:24 | |
When we Romans invaded Britain, | 0:23:32 | 0:23:34 | |
we got all the way to Scotland, where the Caledonians fought back. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:38 | |
Well, as the old saying goes, if you can't beat them, | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
build a massive wall to keep them out. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
-Yes? -Oh, hello. -All right? | 0:23:46 | 0:23:49 | |
Er...hail, Emperor Trageon..? | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
It's Emperor Hadrian now, Trageon's dead. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
-Murdered? -No, natural causes. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:56 | |
Oh, well, that's nice. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
So, what can I do for you fellas then? | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
It's more a case of what we can do for you today, sir. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
Emperor Hadrian would like to build a brand-new wall on your land | 0:24:03 | 0:24:07 | |
completely free of charge. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:09 | |
I could do with a new wall. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
So it's going to be nice and big, this wall? | 0:24:11 | 0:24:13 | |
Three metres wide and six metres high. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
Me sheep won't be jumping over that in a hurry, will they? | 0:24:15 | 0:24:18 | |
-HE LAUGHS -No, they won't. | 0:24:18 | 0:24:21 | |
You see Emperor Hadrian wants a nice new defensive wall stretching | 0:24:21 | 0:24:25 | |
right across the country from the Tyne to the Firth to mark | 0:24:25 | 0:24:27 | |
the northern edge of the Roman Empire, since you ask. | 0:24:27 | 0:24:30 | |
Plus it'll help to keep out those awful Caledonians. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:32 | |
-Oi! I heard that. -Oh! | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
-Get out of here. -Animals. We're calling it Hadrian's wall. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:37 | |
A working title. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
So where exactly is it going to go, this wall? | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
Erm, right along here. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
That's right through the middle of my land. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:47 | |
So it is. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
Won't my house be in the way? | 0:24:49 | 0:24:50 | |
-Not for long, it won't. -Hey, hey, hey, hey! No. I protest. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:55 | |
I'm not moving. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:57 | |
As you like, mate. | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
-Eh? -It saves us a stake, I suppose. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:01 | |
I don't believe this. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
Did you know, Hadrian had his famous wall painted white | 0:25:06 | 0:25:10 | |
so it would glisten majestically in the bright sunlight? | 0:25:10 | 0:25:15 | |
He obviously didn't get up north much. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
The Roman General who first invaded Britain was Julius Caesar, | 0:25:18 | 0:25:22 | |
and his is an interesting story. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:26 | |
Ave, Gaius Julius Caesar, Dictator of Rome, Consort of Cleopatra, | 0:25:30 | 0:25:36 | |
and conqueror of Gaul. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:38 | |
In this room you're just a guy with a big nose and a plant on his head. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:42 | |
OK, I would like to pitch the story of my rise | 0:25:42 | 0:25:46 | |
to power, from the young adventurer who was kidnapped by pirates, | 0:25:46 | 0:25:50 | |
to the General who invaded Britain, | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
crushed the Gauls, crossed the Rubicon river, took control of Rome | 0:25:52 | 0:25:57 | |
and forged it into the greatest empire the world had ever seen. | 0:25:57 | 0:26:02 | |
OK, we're interested. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
In the pirates. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:05 | |
-Well, pirates are very big right now. -Johnny Depp. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
Ahoy, Captain Caesar, you got yourself a hit. | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
-Who can play the talking parrot? -Sorry, what parrot? | 0:26:10 | 0:26:13 | |
-All pirates have a parrot. -It's in the contract. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
Sorry, look, me being kidnapped by pirates was just a small | 0:26:15 | 0:26:18 | |
part of the story, before I became the greatest General | 0:26:18 | 0:26:21 | |
and statesman of the Roman age. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
Yeah, you see what I just heard was "Pirates, blah, blah, blah, blah." | 0:26:23 | 0:26:27 | |
Blah, blah, blah, blah. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:29 | |
-I conquered Spain. -Blah. | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
-France. -Blah. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:32 | |
-Egypt. -Blah. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:33 | |
So are we making a pirate movie or are you going to walk | 0:26:33 | 0:26:35 | |
the plank to the Roman province of Loserville? | 0:26:35 | 0:26:39 | |
I was captured by pirates near Turkey. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
They wanted money for my return. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
Pirates of the Mediterranean: Caesar's Gold. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:45 | |
I was actually quite furious. Er, not because I'd been kidnapped, | 0:26:45 | 0:26:49 | |
but because they asked for too little ransom. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
-I told them to ask for more money. -It's a comedy. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
It was actually quite funny, you know. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:55 | |
Because despite being their prisoner, | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
I actually ordered them around all the time. | 0:26:57 | 0:26:59 | |
I shouted and told them to stop being noisy when I was trying to sleep. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
That was hilar... Actually, in the end we became quite good friends. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:06 | |
Even better, it's a buddy, buddy movie with heart. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:09 | |
Friends, Romans, countrymen lend me your Oscars - we got a hit! | 0:27:09 | 0:27:13 | |
So anyway, in the end they paid the ransom, | 0:27:13 | 0:27:15 | |
I returned home and then I hired a fleet of ships. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
So you wouldn't miss hanging out with your friends, the pirates, | 0:27:17 | 0:27:21 | |
and that's our happy ending. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:23 | |
No, no, no, no. So I could hunt them down and torture them to death. | 0:27:23 | 0:27:26 | |
Which I did. I killed them all. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:29 | |
Pretty brilliant twist, right? | 0:27:29 | 0:27:31 | |
Yeah, the whole torturing to death thing, | 0:27:31 | 0:27:35 | |
-plays quite badly with families. -You may need an alternate ending. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:39 | |
-The talking parrot saves everyone and sings a song. -Works for me. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:42 | |
Big Nose, you came, you saw, you got yourself a movie deal. | 0:27:42 | 0:27:47 | |
Ahhh! | 0:27:47 | 0:27:48 | |
Don't rest on your laurels. | 0:27:48 | 0:27:50 | |
-Eh? Oh! -That guy can rock a skirt. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:53 | |
Can't get enough of Horrible Histories? | 0:27:56 | 0:27:59 | |
Then go to the CBBC website and click on the link. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:02 | |
See you there. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:04 | |
# The past is no longer a mystery | 0:28:04 | 0:28:07 | |
# Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories! # | 0:28:07 | 0:28:09 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:28:09 | 0:28:12 |