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Atrocious Artists

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# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians, slimy Stuarts,

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# Vile Victorians, Woeful wars,

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# Ferocious fights, Dingy castles, daring knights

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# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians

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# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times

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# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless

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# Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless

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# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages

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# Gory stories, we do that

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# And your host, a talking rat

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# The past is no longer a mystery

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# Welcome to...

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# Horrible Histories. #

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Horrible Histories presents Atrocious Artists.

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Art has constantly changed throughout history.

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In the Middle Ages, it wasn't always the most realistic,

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but then 600 years ago in Italy,

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everything changed in an explosion of creativity

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called the Renaissance.

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And it produced some pretty bodacious artists.

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Give me the bag.

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-Give me the bag, lady, give me the bag.

-Help!

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-VOICE IN THE DISTANCE:

-You leave that old lady alone, punk.

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Who said that?

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Leonardo.

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Michelangelo.

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Donatello.

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Raph...

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Raphael.

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ALL: And we are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Renaissance Artists.

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Yes, we are.

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Quick, ninja him.

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No, we don't actually have any ninja skills.

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But we do have some pretty cowabunga artistic skills.

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Raphael, paint a fresco so beautiful

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it will stop the thief in his tracks.

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I'm on it, dude.

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Take this!

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Good luck resisting Raphael's captivating use

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of all the available colours of his time, including powdered gold.

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That's not helping.

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Give him a ninja chop.

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Nice work. Michelangelo,

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quick, paint on the ceiling like you did in the Sistine Chapel.

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An artwork of that scale is sure to render him breathless.

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Radical idea, dude. I'm a-feeling paint-a-licious.

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Oh, no, it's a really high ceiling and I didn't bring my ladder

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or my scaffolding.

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This thief is one step ahead of us.

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Come on, give him a ninja kick.

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Oh, I could confuse him with an awesome portrait.

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Is the Mona Lisa smiling or sad?

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Smiling or sad?

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Don't you guys have any ninja weapons?

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Good idea, old lady. Quick, Donatello, sculpt a ninja star.

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Should be done in about three days, two, if I bodge it.

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You guys are useless.

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He's getting away!

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That bag had all my groceries in it.

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I just bought a pizza.

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-Pizza?

-Mamma Mia.

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ALL SHOUTING IN ITALIAN

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Ratabunga!

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Hang on! Where are all the paintings of rats?

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Well, that's it.

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I'm going to paint a portrait of the greatest,

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most handsomest rat in history.

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Me.

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Now, it needs to be a masterpiece,

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so I'd better get some tips from history's greatest artists

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and where better to start than the beginning?

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I wonder what it would have been like to see a painting

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for the very first time.

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-Oi!

-Oh!

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I'm so glad I saw your profile.

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I knew we had to meet.

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Wonderful, yeah. Oh, now look.

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This, this is fascinating.

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Um, you probably haven't seen this but I have.

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It's a new type of expression called art.

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-Ah.

-Art.

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Ah.

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-Art.

-Ah.

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Close enough.

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Before now, everything made by us has a practical use,

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so spears were used for hunting.

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Oh! Oh, God, so realistic.

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Or for, you know, gathering food.

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Food, yum, I love food.

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Such a foodie.

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Um, that's paint made from charcoal and beetle's blood.

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I mean, this is art for art's sake.

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For the first time, the nascent human is crying out,

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-"look at me, I exist, I'm here."

-Where?

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Look, Laura, I'm really sorry but I think this date was a bad idea.

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I mean, we're clearly not on the same, um...

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..level.

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Anyway, it's, it's been nice.

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Oh, another exuberant work.

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I'm going to check out the rest of his stuff.

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Oh, no, actually that one's a warning sign.

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Beware of the sabre toothed tig...

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GROWLING AND SCREAMING

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Hello, I'm Swill Gumbitz and welcome to a special

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HH News cultural report.

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Greek statues - beautiful, elegant, but where do they come from?

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I've narrowed it down to Greece,

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which is why I've come to ancient Greece itself

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to see the statues of the great sculptor, Phidias,

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as they were originally intended to be seen.

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Their pale white form...

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Oi, stop that, you vandal!

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What? Where?

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Phidias's art can be enjoyed across the world,

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but it seems even his work in ancient Greece itself

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is not safe from vandals. You, sir, are a hooligan.

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-No, I'm not, I'm an Athenian.

-No, I mean...

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What, what, what on earth is going on?

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This idiot is painting bright colours

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all over these beautiful statues.

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-It'll take weeks to wash it off.

-Stop it.

-What are you doing?

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Greek statues are supposed to be painted.

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-I don't think they are.

-They are.

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-I don't think they are.

-They are.

-I don't think they are.

-They are.

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Don't think they are.

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They are! I'm an ancient Greek. Trust me, I know.

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But the museums of the future are full of lovely plain white ones.

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Well, then the paint must have faded or some idiot's washed it off.

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A Hoolahan, like you.

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-Hooligan.

-See, he admits it.

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Ah. So, if these are meant to be painted, then you're, um...

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..Phidias. Can I just say what an honour it is to have met you?

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No.

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So, there you have it. Painting was in fact all the rage in ancient

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Greece, so what better way for me to sign off than having a go myself.

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I'm Swill Gumbitz, goodbye.

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Can you tell which one's mine?

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It's just after dinner in medieval Europe and all over the continent

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people are settling down to enjoy a bit of art together.

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Is that little one baby Jesus?

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Is it baby Jesus?!

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Who else are Mary and Joseph going to be carting around?

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It doesn't look like a baby though, does it?

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Look at the size of its head. It looks like a tiny bloke.

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This week, an Italian artist is about to change the way people view

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paintings forever.

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Oh, man.

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This is Giottobox.

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It's coming right out the painting.

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It's coming at us.

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It's so real.

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It's more real than your hair.

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Oh, shut up.

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It's true.

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The artist Giotto used the new technique of perspective to make

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his pictures look 3-D and lifelike.

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-Look at that.

-Oh, careful, Steve. Wow.

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It's amazing, innit?

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-What's going on there?

-It's like 3D, innit?

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It's like I'm actually inside the picture.

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Which one are you, the donkey?

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Giotto was also one of the first artists to make the people in his

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paintings look more realistic.

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Eh, what's the matter, Mum?

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I feel for him.

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It's emotional, like.

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Are you crying too, Dad?

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-No, I've just got something in my eye, all reet?

-All reet.

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I'll turn it over, see what's on the other side.

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That's better.

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Giotto really did change art forever with his realistic paintings

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but as pictures became more real,

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artists found they had to be very careful with what they painted.

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You know, the rude bits.

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Mind you, what was considered rude wasn't necessarily

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what you might expect.

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Madame Le Brun.

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Oh, monsieur, you have come to see my painting. Et voila!

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My dear, you seem to have made a mistake.

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-Where?

-What is that there in between your nose and your chin?

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It is my mouth.

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I'm not stupid.

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I mean inside your mouth, those white rectangular things.

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Those are my teeth.

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SCREAMS IN SHOCK

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A person of good breeding does not show her teeth to the world.

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The world is not ready for teeth.

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Well, why, why not?

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Because it is not done.

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Teeth are supposed to be covered,

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like a table with a cloth or a bottom with knickers.

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Stop with the glove thing!

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It is me with my little daughter and so I smiled.

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No, no, no, no! Smiling in a portrait is not respectable.

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Here, look.

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Look at this disreputable character.

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Would you have him singing to you?

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He would sing and then try and eat you.

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-Ay!

-Look at this.

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-This man is smiling so big his head is falling off.

-Ay!

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This lady is showing her teeth and talking to an owl.

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Do you talk to owls, Madame?

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-No, I...

-Do you want your head to fall off or turn all the way around?

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-I don't.

-Do you want to be eaten by a man with a lute?

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-No!

-Then don't show your teeth.

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You look crazy.

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I think that you may be wrong.

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I think that in future many more people will smile

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in their portraits.

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I do not agree.

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Why ever not, monsieur?

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Ay!

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SHE GAGS

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Oh, hello, I am Frida Kahlo, the famous Mexican artist.

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I'm just doing a self-portrait.

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Many of the world's great painters paint themselves once or twice,

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but tell me, how many times did I paint myself?

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Is it:

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The answer is C, 55 times.

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Oh, there, that one is finished.

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Now, what shall I paint next?

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Oh, who am I kidding?

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Me again. OK.

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Hi, I'm Turner prize-winning Chris Ofili and I like to experiment

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using a load of different materials for my paintings.

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My most famous paintings use real elephant poo.

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So, my top tip for you is when your art materials are being delivered...

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ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

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..careful where you stand.

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Oh, that's quite nice.

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Oh, Nelly!

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ELEPHANT TRUMPETS

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It's true. Chris Ofili really does paint with poo.

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It's plop art!

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But I'm after something more traditional.

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Maybe I should look at other famous painters.

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There was one artist in Georgian times who painted

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so many celebrities that he became a celebrity himself.

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Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

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I love it, baby. It's fantastic.

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OK, give me sassy.

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That's it, a girl's just walked in and she's got a bigger hat than you.

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What is she thinking?

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Yeah. Yeah. That's it.

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OMG, Joshua Reynolds is like the hottest painter in London right now.

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I'm not even looking. Not even looking.

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We have queued for hours.

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All the Duchesses and generals are having their pictures done by him.

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-Yah.

-Hide and seek.

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Everyone hide, hide, hide.

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Five, six, seven, eight...

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Right, you've got to hide.

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He's painting everyone.

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Even Admiral Nelson's girlfriend, Emma Hamilton.

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Admiral Nelson's in the Navy or something.

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No, no, it's too masculine.

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Way too masculine. I want something innocent, coquettish.

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Yeah, different angle. Try the left hand. Yeah, that's it.

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That's it, yeah.

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Exactly. Canvas adores you, by the way.

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Oh, canvas doesn't like you any more.

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-#portraitgirls.

-#totallyagree.

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#pouttocamera.

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That's really helpful.

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Just having a little trouble with that profile.

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I'm so cheeky.

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I love you, hate you, love you, hate you!

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It's brilliant, it's brilliant, fantastic. Let's take five.

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Hola, I am famous artist Pablo Picasso

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-and I don't take cash with me anywhere.

-I beg your pardon, Sir?

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That is because I pay for everything with Masterpiece.

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With Masterpiece, I don't have to pay for anything.

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That is because drawings by me are simply priceless.

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Your tip.

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Hi, I'm Salvador Dali and I don't even need to draw a picture.

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My signature is so valuable no-one ever cashes in my checks. Kerching.

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Because there are some things in life that being a famous artist

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can't buy, but for everything else, there's Masterpiece.

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We prefer cash, if it's all the same.

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Warning, Masterpiece does not work for mime artists.

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Mime is not money. Terms and conditions apply.

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Paintings by famous artists like those two can be worth millions,

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so there is no surprise that plenty have been stolen throughout history

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and in the case of one particular painting,

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a lot more than once or twice.

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SMASH! CAT YELPS

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Oh, I've no idea how that got there.

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Hi, I'm Sandy Hole,

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I am chief of security for the gallery

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and in particular for our star exhibit,

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Rembrandt's Jacob de Gheyn III.

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-What?! Someone's taken the painting.

-ALARM BLARES

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Cut! Take two, The Security Guards.

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I'm Sandy Hole and I am chief of security for the gallery and in

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particular for our star exhibit,

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Rembrandt's Jacob de Gheyn,

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which was recently found in a lost luggage department in Germany

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after it was stolen...

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-ALARM BLARES

-Cut.

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-It's gone again.

-Take three, The Security Guards.

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Sandy Hole, chief of security for the gallery.

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I am responsible for the security of Rembrandt's Jacob de Gheyn,

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which was recently returned to us anonymously after it was stolen

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for the second time.

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-ALARM BLARES

-Cut.

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We found it on the back of someone's bike.

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Take four, The Security Guards.

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Hello, I'm Sandy Hole,

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I am chief of security for the gallery

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and Rembrandt's Jacob de Gheyn, which I think,

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if it's stolen one more time, will make it the most stolen

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old master in history. But that' not going to...

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-ALARM BLARES

-Cut.

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Found under a graveyard bench in Streatham.

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-I'm not kidding.

-Take five.

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Hi, I'm Sandy Hole and if you'd like to steal Rembrandt's Jacob de Gheyn,

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just take it. Do what you like.

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It's fine. The one on the wall's a fake.

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Should have done this years ago.

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The real one's in here.

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Cut!

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-SIRENS WAILING

-I don't know why I bother.

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Hello, I am famous artist Vincent van Gogh

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and here I am painting sunflowers.

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Again.

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Sunflowers. What can I say, I like sunflowers.

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Also, I have a lot of yellow paint to use up.

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But, hey, don't knock it.

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One day in the future, my paintings will be worth millions.

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One day. One day.

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But, tell me this, how many paintings did I sell in my lifetime?

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Was it:

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The answer is B, I sold a couple of paintings.

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I don't know where this rumour started

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that I only sold one painting.

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I sold a few, swapped a few, lent a few, was commissioned for a few.

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OK, so it wasn't a lot, but it was a few.

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Not my fault if people don't recognise my genius.

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Or maybe they just don't like sunflowers.

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Van Gogh's sunflower pictures are now worth tens of millions

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but this new style of painting, called Impressionism, well,

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it wasn't always appreciated during his lifetime.

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Not like me. When people see my self portrait,

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they'll be throwing money at it.

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And probably rotten fruit, too.

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And maybe furniture.

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I'll be honest, it still needs some work.

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The problem is there are so many new and unusual styles of art

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that it's hard to know which one to choose.

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Hey, imagine if you could get all the famous artists in one place,

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so you could compare them. Hey, they could take an art class together.

0:17:580:18:02

OK, everyone, for this week's art class,

0:18:040:18:07

I asked you to think about light and shade, and remember,

0:18:070:18:12

paint what you see.

0:18:120:18:14

OK, Pablo Picasso, what's going on here, matey?

0:18:140:18:18

Nada. I am painting what I see.

0:18:180:18:21

In that case, probably time to visit the opticians.

0:18:210:18:24

Idiota!

0:18:250:18:26

HE SHOUTS IN SPANISH

0:18:260:18:29

Ah, Rembrandt.

0:18:290:18:32

That's more like it.

0:18:320:18:34

But what did I ask you to paint?

0:18:340:18:35

Er, the model.

0:18:350:18:39

And what have you actually painted?

0:18:390:18:41

You've painted yourself, just like you did last week

0:18:410:18:44

and the week before and the week before that.

0:18:440:18:46

-I find myself fascinating.

-Well, I'm glad someone does.

0:18:460:18:50

Put it this way, you're no oil painting.

0:18:500:18:52

Try again. Give me that mirror.

0:18:520:18:54

I thought you people wanted to be artists.

0:18:560:18:58

I mean, look at this one, it's a nightmare.

0:18:580:19:00

Mr Munch, what on earth made you think that...

0:19:000:19:02

All right, it's not that bad.

0:19:030:19:05

Aha, now, this is real talent.

0:19:050:19:09

Rene Magritte, formidable.

0:19:090:19:10

Oh, well, it's not quite finished yet.

0:19:100:19:13

What's that for? We did fruit last week.

0:19:160:19:18

I am interested in what we cannot see.

0:19:180:19:21

Here's what I cannot see - you being a decent painter.

0:19:210:19:24

I mean, how big do you think apples are, mate?

0:19:240:19:26

-It's a cooking apple.

-Dear, oh, dear.

0:19:260:19:27

Barbara Hepworth, Babs, you've not even put a canvas on here.

0:19:290:19:34

What are you up to?

0:19:340:19:36

It's a sculpture. Go on, pat it.

0:19:360:19:39

-I'm not going to pat it.

-Pat it.

0:19:390:19:40

I'm not going to pat it.

0:19:400:19:41

Right, sorry to say this, but basically you're all rubbish

0:19:410:19:44

and I wouldn't trust you to paint my skirting boards.

0:19:440:19:46

Go on, clear off, class dismissed.

0:19:460:19:49

Not again. I've told you before, Banksy, not on the walls!

0:19:520:19:55

Banksy is a famous graffiti artist but he does it in secret so no-one

0:19:570:20:01

knows who he is.

0:20:010:20:02

Mind you, Banksy's not nearly as messy as this next famous painter,

0:20:020:20:07

whose unusual splatter style caused a bit of a stir.

0:20:070:20:10

Oh, Mr Pollock, Jackson Pollock.

0:20:120:20:15

Yeah, who wants to know?

0:20:150:20:18

Hi, I'm Sherman Nathaniel III. Oh, you have paint on your hands, sure.

0:20:180:20:22

I'm your biggest fan and I just love the whole expressionistic

0:20:220:20:25

-abstractism thing.

-Abstract Expressionism.

0:20:250:20:29

That's what I said.

0:20:290:20:30

And anyway, as you know, you're all the rage in town

0:20:300:20:33

and I'd just love to buy one of your paintings.

0:20:330:20:35

Like this.

0:20:350:20:37

It is just... Well, it's wonderful.

0:20:370:20:39

You know, it's breathtaking, it's...

0:20:390:20:41

It's not for sale.

0:20:410:20:43

-I already sold it.

-Good, good, I am glad about that because...

0:20:430:20:48

I actually prefer this one.

0:20:480:20:50

Oh, it's just genius.

0:20:500:20:52

I just spilt paint on the floor.

0:20:520:20:53

Obviously I was joking, because I can spot one of your paintings

0:20:530:20:56

a mile off. And, oh, you spilt it on the canvas as well, buddy.

0:20:560:20:58

I mean, good luck getting that off.

0:20:580:21:00

-That's one of my paintings.

-That's my favourite one.

0:21:000:21:02

Yeah. Where's the next one?

0:21:020:21:04

Well, where do you think?

0:21:040:21:05

Whoa, hello!

0:21:080:21:10

-This is the best one yet.

-My neighbour's daughter painted that.

0:21:100:21:13

-She should be ashamed.

-She's three.

0:21:130:21:14

She's a little terror and she's taken all these paints

0:21:140:21:17

and spilt them up there as well.

0:21:170:21:18

-You must be livid.

-No, no, cos that's one of my paintings.

0:21:180:21:21

-I will buy it for 1 million.

-It's not for sale to you.

0:21:210:21:23

In fact, nothing is for sale to you.

0:21:230:21:25

-You can get out.

-Whoa.

0:21:250:21:26

-Ah, I'm sorry.

-Are you kidding?

0:21:280:21:30

My shoes are original Jackson Pollocks now.

0:21:300:21:32

Thank you, Mr Pollock. I am going to be the toast of the town.

0:21:320:21:36

THUNDER RUMBLES

0:21:360:21:37

It's raining outside.

0:21:370:21:38

Is there any chance I could borrow an umbrella?

0:21:380:21:40

-Get out.

-Sure.

0:21:400:21:41

Jackson Pollock's paintings were one of the new styles

0:21:430:21:46

that emerged during the 20th century,

0:21:460:21:49

along with movements like pop art

0:21:490:21:51

and surrealism, which involved taking everyday objects

0:21:510:21:54

and making them look weird.

0:21:540:21:58

Yeah, really weird.

0:21:590:22:01

And sometimes the painters were as weird as their paintings.

0:22:010:22:06

Like the painter of this one, Salvador Dali.

0:22:060:22:10

It's a new term and headteacher Hannah Lawrence is doing her best to

0:22:100:22:13

improve school standards, which are currently so low they will have to

0:22:130:22:16

improve just to get rock-bottom.

0:22:160:22:17

Welcome to Historical Educating.

0:22:170:22:20

It's Monday morning and class 7F need a new teacher.

0:22:200:22:23

We needed a supply teacher last minute

0:22:230:22:25

and Mr Dali's CV came through.

0:22:250:22:27

Well, I say CV,

0:22:280:22:30

it's actually a box of cauliflowers.

0:22:300:22:33

But apparently that's called surrealism.

0:22:330:22:35

Greengrocery, that's what I call it.

0:22:350:22:38

There really wasn't anyone else.

0:22:380:22:40

Good morning, everyone. My name is Dali.

0:22:400:22:43

-ALL:

-Morning, Mr Dali.

0:22:430:22:45

Now, I like my surroundings to be perfect.

0:22:450:22:48

You two, drag in the bath.

0:22:480:22:50

Today's lesson is titled The Genius Of Salvador Dali.

0:23:010:23:07

PHONE RINGS

0:23:070:23:08

-Sorry, sir, that's my phone.

-That is not a phone.

0:23:080:23:10

This is a phone.

0:23:110:23:13

What's the matter? You pulled a mussel.

0:23:130:23:16

Good for you.

0:23:160:23:17

I could teach you about art,

0:23:170:23:19

but it would be pointless as none of you is a genius like me.

0:23:190:23:23

You don't seem like a genius, sir, you seem like a weirdo.

0:23:230:23:26

And you, little girl, seem like an ignoramus.

0:23:260:23:31

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my anteater for a walk.

0:23:310:23:35

Weirdo, indeed!

0:23:350:23:37

Mr Dali has been called in to see the headteacher.

0:23:370:23:40

Mr Dali, I'm a little concerned about what you've...

0:23:400:23:43

Sorry, what are you wearing?

0:23:430:23:45

Help me.

0:23:450:23:46

I was just trying to convey how I exist

0:23:540:23:56

at the bottom of a sea of dreams.

0:23:560:23:58

Mr Dali, I'm afraid your teaching methods are much too peculiar

0:23:580:24:01

for the children here. I'm sorry, but it's time for you to leave.

0:24:010:24:05

Tell me, have you seen my anteater?

0:24:050:24:07

Get out.

0:24:070:24:09

Coming, Snowball, walkies.

0:24:090:24:12

I'm world-famous pop artist Andy Warhol.

0:24:200:24:23

Now, I've mixed with some of the greatest artists of the 20th century

0:24:230:24:26

and if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's...

0:24:260:24:29

..always wear green pants.

0:24:310:24:34

Seriously. It's what I do.

0:24:340:24:36

I only wear green pants.

0:24:360:24:38

Fabulous. I mean, normally I buy them green,

0:24:380:24:42

but this pair I just haven't washed for a while.

0:24:420:24:44

Hmm, mouldy pants.

0:24:460:24:48

Strangely comforting.

0:24:480:24:50

Top tip, Mr Warhol.

0:24:550:24:57

OK, it's finally finished, and from cave art to the Renaissance to

0:24:570:25:01

surrealism, I've used them all in my masterpiece,

0:25:010:25:05

in a new style I call post-rodentism.

0:25:050:25:09

Or, as one critic called it, rubbish.

0:25:090:25:12

I'm thinking of titling it the Moaning Cheese-a.

0:25:120:25:15

The Moaning Cheesea!

0:25:150:25:18

Suit yourself. OK, can I start the bidding at 1.5 billion?

0:25:180:25:21

No? OK, 1.4 billion.

0:25:210:25:25

No? How about a quid?

0:25:250:25:28

No, it looks like I've got a long way to go to match

0:25:280:25:31

this last incredible painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

0:25:310:25:34

It hangs in the Louvre Museum in Paris

0:25:340:25:36

and it's probably the most famous piece of art of all time

0:25:360:25:40

and it's got a pretty mysterious history, too.

0:25:400:25:44

Over to you, Mona.

0:25:440:25:46

Or is it Lisa?

0:25:460:25:49

# Hello?

0:25:490:25:52

# It's-a-me

0:25:520:25:55

# The most famousest painting in history

0:25:550:25:59

# Ten million see me every year

0:26:000:26:03

# Not hanging in the loo but in the Louvre here

0:26:030:26:07

# Hello, it's me, from the other side of that you see

0:26:070:26:12

# I'm Lisa Gherardini who posed for this

0:26:120:26:15

# My husband wants a portrait of his missus

0:26:150:26:18

# I modelled at the start then the story gets shady

0:26:180:26:22

# Under her is painted another Mona Lady

0:26:220:26:25

# Is this picture me? Or someone like me?

0:26:250:26:28

# Is this Lisa, me-sa?

0:26:280:26:29

# It's a mystery Though my husband was the owner

0:26:290:26:32

# Was there another Mona? No-one knows the real history

0:26:320:26:38

# Hello, it's me

0:26:380:26:40

# I'm the one they call 'The Code' da Vinci

0:26:400:26:44

# Not just an artist I'm a procrastinator

0:26:440:26:47

# If you don't know what that means then I will tell you later

0:26:470:26:50

# Hello, Raphael

0:26:500:26:52

# My student's got to copy this and make a sale

0:26:520:26:56

# This painting is incredibly profound

0:26:560:26:59

# Please stop, those eyes are following me around

0:26:590:27:02

# Her enigmatic smile a visual delight

0:27:020:27:05

# You think so? No, still not quite right

0:27:050:27:08

# The picture's not good enough for someone like me

0:27:080:27:11

# For 15 years those hands have been bothering me

0:27:110:27:14

# My legacy will last I may be great, but I'm not fast

0:27:140:27:18

# And you wonder why I lived in poverty?

0:27:180:27:21

# Patience! One day this great work of art

0:27:220:27:25

# Will hang in the bedroom of Bonaparte

0:27:250:27:28

# Most expensive pic of all you'd better believe it

0:27:280:27:31

# People gonna vandalise forge and steal it

0:27:310:27:34

# If I wanted it back what must I bid?

0:27:340:27:37

# I'm said to be worth one-and-a-half billion quid! #

0:27:370:27:39

What?!

0:27:390:27:41

# Then I was stolen cos someone liked me

0:27:410:27:43

# That was when I gained notoriety

0:27:430:27:46

# Peaceful life ain't being attacked by red paint

0:27:460:27:49

# Now bulletproof glass protects me. #

0:27:490:27:52

Is that little one baby Jesus?

0:27:550:27:58

Is it baby Jesus?!

0:27:580:28:00

Who else are Mary and Joseph

0:28:000:28:01

going to be carting around?

0:28:010:28:03

HE SPEAKS GIBBERISH

0:28:030:28:04

LAUGHTER

0:28:040:28:07

# The past is no longer a mystery

0:28:070:28:09

# Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories. #

0:28:090:28:14

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