Takahashi Hotel Trubble


Takahashi

Children's sitcom. Mr Takahashi, a very rude businessman, comes to stay and Jamie is sure he is actually a Hotel of the Year mystery judge, so tries to keep him happy.


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Transcript


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'Welcome to Hotel Trubble. Meet Sally, our receptionist.'

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Trying to have a conversation here!

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'And this is Lenny. He's a man of many talents.

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'This is Dolly. She's Mr Trubble's...umm...fiance.

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'This is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.'

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Which just leaves me, Jamie. I'm the bellboy.

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# Hotel Trubble forever

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# It's the pits and we know

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# We're stuck but we love it

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# Hotel Trubble forever

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# We're a team staying calm Arm in arm

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# So the hotel survives

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# Trubble, Trubble

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# Keep the hotel alive. #

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Right, gang. I've been on the phone with troubly, wubbly Trubble

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and he says that we've not had enough guests staying here lately.

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He's not happy.

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-Aww, that's a shame. Should we buy him a lollipop?

-A lollipop?

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My mum bought me a lollipop when I wasn't happy. Never did me any harm.

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Anyway, we need people to come back to the hotel.

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And seeing as you lot are a little bit lazy

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and a bit useless, I have come up with a new idea to bring 'em in.

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Boys and girls, let me introduce you to my new...

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-Pause for drum roll...

-DRUM ROLL

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..Turbo Chair.

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Turbo Chair is designed to relieve stress by massaging you

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while you sit back and relax.

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That will bring the customers in. A chair(?!)

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Um, what did you say, Sally?

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You sound a little stressed yourself. Why don't you have a go?

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MUSIC PLAYS

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-I bet you're feeling more relaxed now, aren't you, Sally?

-Yeah(!)

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Never let her put me in that chair again.

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How does this bonkers contraption of yours work, Dolly?

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Batteries? Electricity? Solar power?

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No, no, no, no. It's run by a little man who sits inside it.

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-ALL: What?

-Yeah. His name's Nigel.

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You all right in there, Nigel?

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-NIGEL: I'm all right. Can I get a cup of tea?

-Yes.

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So hang on. Your great idea to bring guests in is a little man

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who sits in a chair and shakes it when you sit in it.

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Well, I don't see you coming up with any better ideas, Jamie.

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-I have got an idea...

-No!

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Turbo Chair it is.

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People will come from miles around to have a go.

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You're making me all tense now.

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Do your worst, Nigel!

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MUSIC PLAYS

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Right, guys. We have a problem.

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This hotel isn't getting enough guests and call me crazy,

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but a little man shaking a big chair won't bring them in.

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What about a big man shaking a little chair?

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Even worse.

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Why do you care anyway? No guests means less work for us.

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So I can sit around and read Best Baked Bean Magazine.

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-Best Baked Bean Magazine?

-I've read the other magazines

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-and I've got to find something to do.

-Well, you could work!

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Pfff! It's actually quite interesting.

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You wouldn't believe what the people in bean companies get up to.

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Believe me, darling... I know.

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I once dated the head of Baked Beans Incorporated.

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Enough about the beans! If we don't get any guests

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then there won't BE a hotel for us to work in.

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Jamie, Mr Trubble would never close down this hotel.

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Get real, grandma! This hotel is a tiny part of the Trubble empire.

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He's got businesses all over the world.

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His porcupine farm makes more money than this place.

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What do you make at a porcupine farm?

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Toothpicks.

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Oi! Put that back or you'll be picking your teeth up from the floor!

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Rargh!

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I've got an idea that I'm pretty confident will blow your socks off.

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THEY MUMBLE

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We are entering the International Hotel of the Year competition!

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-Guys!

-So you want to enter some big hotel competition?

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-What do you want us to do about it?

-I need your help, Sally.

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We need to show Mr T we're what keeps this hotel together.

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If we don't save the hotel, what's going to happen to you?

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Do you want to go back to your old job counting grains of salt?

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One million 846.

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One million 847.

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Achoo!

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Awww!

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One, two...

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All right, Jamie. We'll help you. What do we have to do?

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We need something to impress the judges.

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OK. What if I sang to the guests, 24/7?

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# Good morning!

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# I hope you're enjoying your stay!

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# Don't worry about the holes in the roof

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# They are meant to be there!

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# Yeah, yeah, yeah. #

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Why don't we make it an international hotel?

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We could have sausages from Germany, music from South Africa,

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French cheese from...

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-the supermarket.

-Not bad, Lenny. Not bad.

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# Gu-u-u-u-ten tag!

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# Guten tag! Guten ta-a-a-ag!

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# Guten, guten, guten

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# Guten, guten, guten. #

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Whoa! Do you know any German, other than "guten tag"?

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No.

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BICYCLE BELL RINGS

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Jamie, I've got a rickshaw from China.

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Ah, good.

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-Pretend you're a guest. Hop on board.

-OK.

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Good evening, sir. May I take you to your room?

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Oh, yes, please. Room five.

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-Off we go then.

-HORN BEEPS

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Stairs.

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I haven't really thought this through, have I?

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# Yo, heave-ho!

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# Yo, heave-ho!

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# Yo-o-o-o

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# Yo, heave-ho! #

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I'm guessing that's Mrs Poshington's contribution.

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Russian dancing.

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I've looked on the internet and found out how the competition works.

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The organisers send a mystery guest to each hotel in the competition.

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Is that like a guest that solves mysteries? Like Sherlock Holmes?

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Perhaps he can solve the mystery of what's been happening to my cookies.

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-You haven't seen them, have you?

-SALLY MUMBLES

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No, a mystery guest is a guest who looks like any other ordinary guest

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but is actually not what they seem.

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-Are they a burglar?

-No.

-Are they a robot?

-No.

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Are they a robot burglar sent from the future come to wipe our past?

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A mystery guest is someone who pretends to be a guest

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but is actually judging the hotel for the competition.

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Oh. Thank you, Nigel. I feel much m-m-more relaxed n-n-now.

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-NIGEL:

-Can I have that cup of tea? I'm thirsty from all that shaking.

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Yes, I'll go and get it.

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Oh, I'm sorry, Nigel. All the tea seems to have gone.

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-NIGEL:

-Crumpet! I was desperate for a cuppa.

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-Excuse me.

-Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know where the staff have got to.

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-Do you have any rooms?

-Oh, yes, yes, yes.

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I imagine you're here for the Turbo Chair.

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Was it an advert in the paper you saw?

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What? Turbo Chair? I do not have time for this.

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-I have just had a long flight from Japan.

-Oooh, Japan, eh?

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You must be very stressed. You need something to relax you.

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-Something to shake away all those worries.

-What is this?

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-I just want to go to my room.

-Setting it to number five. Ready, Nigel?

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-NIGEL:

-Full steam ahead!

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Whoa! Stop! What's going on?

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-Hello, Jamie! This is Mr...

-Takahashi.

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Mr Takahashi. He's trying out our new Turbo Chair.

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The mystery guest. No! No Turbo Chair!

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I'm sure Mr Takahashi wants to go to his room. Am I right, Mr Takahashi?

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-Yes. I tried to tell this woman, but she's crazy!

-I am not crazy!

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Ha-ha! Yeah!

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I'll just take your bags.

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Which is obviously a very polite thing to do

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so you might want to make a note of that.

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It's very exciting times at Hotel Trubble.

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We're making this a fully international hotel.

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We'll have food and entertainment from all around the world.

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-So you will have Japanese food?

-Japanese food...

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Yes! Of course!

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Remind me. Japanese food is...

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Well, it's, em...

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You do not know, do you? Japanese food is sushi!

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Bento! Wasabi!

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Sushi? Yes. We've got loads of sushi.

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I'll just get our chef to cook some up for you.

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What? Cook?! You do not cook sushi!

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-It is raw fish!

-Really?

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I mean, of course, yes. Raw fish.

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-Do you want some now?

-No.

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Now I will lie down. I want my sushi ready for me at 7pm.

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No sooner and no later! And I expect some entertainment with my meal.

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I do not wish to eat whilst looking at nothing but your chubby chops!

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-Now take me to my room!

-Yes, of course.

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When I am asleep I do not like to be disturbed. Understand?

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When I am disturbed, it makes me very cross!

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And you would not want to see me when I am cross.

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-Here is a picture of me when I am cross.

-Argh!

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And this is the corridor! 100% wood.

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I'll turn my back in case you do want to make a note of that.

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Just in case you're judging a competition.

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And this is your room.

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There you are. All our rooms have four walls, a ceiling

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and all but one have a floor.

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MAN SCREAMS

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-THUD!

-Yeah, we should probably fix that.

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I really think you will enjoy your stay.

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Hmm. I'll be the judge of that.

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Uh? Judge of that? I see what you did there. I like it.

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What are you talking about? OK. I'm going to sleep now.

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I do not want to hear any noise. The slightest sound could wake me up.

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-OK.

-You just made sound!

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-(OK.)

-Better.

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-Now close my door.

-Of course!

-Quietly!

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# Guten tag! Auf wiedersehen!

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# Eins, zwei, drei! #

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I'm so sorry.

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What are you doing? You can't sing to him in German!

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You're right. French is a more beautiful language.

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# Bonjour! Ou est la bibliotheque? #

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This place is a mad house. I do not want to hear any more noise.

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Yes. I'll make sure of it. Have a good sleep.

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Jamie! I found the mystery guest!

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Lenny. That's a life-size cutout of John Barrowman.

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Oh, yeah. I wondered why he wasn't talking back.

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Anyway, don't you worry. I'll keep looking. See you later, Jamie!

0:14:030:14:08

-I thought I told you. I need absolute silence.

-Sorry.

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FLOORBOARD CREAKS

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Oof!

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And then he said, "I'll be the judge of that."

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A pretty obvious hint, right?

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Oh. Right. Yes. Absolutely... Is it?

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He means he's the judge of the competition.

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He's testing us by getting us to make sushi

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and by generally being the most difficult guest I've ever met.

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We need to make sure he has the best stay possible.

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Whatever you do, don't tell Dolly.

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You know I can speak Japanese.

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"Hello" is "konnichiwa".

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# Konnichiwa, konnichiwa

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# Konnichiwa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa! #

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Oh, I love that song!

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Sally's singing it to Mr Takahashi, the mystery guest,

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in the Hotel of the Year Competition we entered to save the hotel.

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Was it "don't tell Dolly" or "do?" I forget.

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It was DON'T! Nice one, brain box.

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You've entered the hotel into a competition without telling me?

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With my Turbo Chair, we can't lose!

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I'll seat Mr Takahashi in it 24 hours a day.

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-Are you up to that, Nige?

-It'd be easier if you gave me a cup of tea.

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I was very big in Japan in my younger days...

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Something of a pop star actually.

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-Perhaps you remember my hit single?

-What was it called?

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"Fun Baby Fun, Fun, Fun Time, Let's Dance. Brackets,

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"Do You Want To Dance? Close Brackets."

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It's a...catchy title.

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At seven o'clock, Mr Takahashi is coming down for sushi.

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He wants some kind of entertainment.

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-Sally, we'll work on that. Lenny, talk to chef about sushi.

-OK.

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No, wait. Why do I have to talk to him?

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Because I'm doing the entertainment.

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I mean, it's not like I'm afraid of the chef or anything(!)

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No, me neither(!)

0:16:380:16:41

-I'll break out the riot gear.

-Good idea.

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# Konnichiwa-wa-wa-wa-waaaah! #

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Sally, I'm not sure singing is your strongest point.

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Maybe we should focus on the dancing.

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# What do you mean?!

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# I'm the best singer

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# In the wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-r-l-d. #

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Actually, Sally... Just sing that last note again.

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-# World! #

-Try it a bit higher...

-# Wor-r-rld! #

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-A bit higher...

-# Wor-r-rld! #

-And just a bit higher...

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NOTHING COMES OUT

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Oh, no, Sally!

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It sounds like you've lost your voice. You won't be able to sing.

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Aww, maybe you could do some dancing instead.

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(I hate you, Jamie.)

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Back soon, dearest. I've one more hotel to judge for the competition.

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Love to you. Goodbye. Bye-bye.

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Ah, Hotel Trubble.

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Well, the lobby looks nice enough.

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Excuse me, I'm looking for a room.

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-What?

-I said I'd like to book a room, if I may.

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I'm kind of busy right now. There are forms on the desk.

0:18:150:18:19

I see. My name is Mr Baker. I was hoping you could tell me

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a little about what this hotel has to offer?

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Listen, Mr Butcher! You've got eyes, haven't you?

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We've got a very important guest staying so I need to get this done.

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Ah, I see. Ah! Excuse me, my name is Mr Baker. I'd like to book a room.

0:18:350:18:41

That's lovely, Mr Builder, but it is busy so if you can find a room

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-and we'll sort the rest out later.

-Right. Oh. OK.

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BANGING AND CRASHING

0:18:500:18:54

No, Chef, no-one's criticising your cooking!

0:18:540:18:58

What are you doing with that cake, Chef?

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Chef? Where you going?

0:19:040:19:07

Suppose I'll have to make the sushi myself.

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Without Chef, I'll have to cook the sushi myself!

0:19:110:19:17

According to this, it's raw fish in rice.

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I don't get it! Where am I going to find raw fish?

0:19:210:19:25

Think, Lenny. Think. Hey, I've got it!

0:19:270:19:32

Mr Trubble's goldfish. Do you that's a good idea, Sally?

0:19:320:19:36

I don't know what you mean by that.

0:19:360:19:38

Does it mean yes when you shake your head, or no?

0:19:380:19:42

I'm going to take that as a yes. Thanks, Sally.

0:19:420:19:45

PHONE RINGS

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NO VOICE COMES OUT

0:19:480:19:49

Hello, I'd like to order some room service, please.

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VOICE CROAKS

0:19:530:19:55

I'll have a bowl of pasta, a glass of lemonade

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and a slice of banoffee pie, please.

0:19:590:20:01

Hello?...

0:20:030:20:05

-Lenny, is the sushi ready yet?

-No!

0:20:130:20:15

You! It is seven o'clock. Where is my sushi?!

0:20:150:20:19

Ah, Mr Takahashi. If you'd like to step into the dining room,

0:20:190:20:23

we have your entertainment.

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-And sushi?!

-Of course. The sushi will be ready any moment.

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Follow me.

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And I'm sure you've noticed our...

0:20:320:20:35

Sorry! ..our special international decorations?

0:20:350:20:40

-Don't know if you want to make a note?

-I don't care!

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I just care about sushi!

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Excuse me. I'm peckish and I think there's a problem with room service.

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I'd like a bowl of pasta, a lemonade and a slice of banoffee pie.

0:20:520:20:56

-Um, I don't want to seem rude, Mr Bricklayer.

-It's Baker.

0:20:560:21:02

We have a very special guest staying at the moment so...we'll have to...

0:21:020:21:09

If you could have a seat, someone will be with you in a moment.

0:21:090:21:15

This will help you to relax.

0:21:150:21:18

Nige, give him the full session and that cup of tea is yours.

0:21:180:21:22

-NIGEL:

-Message understood, Skipper.

-Full session?

0:21:220:21:26

-Right.

-Owww!

0:21:260:21:28

-Sushi!

-Sushi!

-Sushi!

-Sushi!

0:21:320:21:37

Coming right up. But first it's time for your entertainment!

0:21:370:21:44

Mr Takahashi. We would like to take you on a journey across the world

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through the wonder of the dance.

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Spain!

0:22:020:22:04

MUSIC: "Macarena" by Los del Rio

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USA.

0:22:110:22:13

MUSIC: Wild west tune

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-India.

-MUSIC: Traditional Indian music

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-Ireland.

-MUSIC: Traditional Irish jig

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Germany.

0:22:320:22:35

MUSIC: Traditional German music

0:22:350:22:39

Lithuania...

0:22:390:22:41

SILENCE

0:22:410:22:46

And finally...

0:22:560:22:58

SHE SINGS SLOW, SOMBRE SONG

0:22:580:23:05

# I don't know any more. #

0:23:070:23:10

..Russia.

0:23:100:23:13

I do not care for any of this dancing.

0:23:130:23:18

-Where is my sushi?

-Right here.

0:23:180:23:23

First the rice...

0:23:230:23:25

pudding. And now the raw fish.

0:23:250:23:29

Ta-da!

0:23:290:23:31

-Is that Mr Trubble's goldfish?

-Yeah.

0:23:310:23:35

Arghh!

0:23:380:23:41

There we go... Sushi!

0:23:410:23:44

Enjoy your meal.

0:23:440:23:46

KLAXON BLARES

0:23:480:23:50

'Goldfish are a protected species. Eat fish fingers, instead.

0:23:500:23:55

'Hey, what about me. Am I not protected?'

0:23:550:23:58

This is the worst hotel I have ever stayed in my whole life.

0:23:580:24:02

I'm leaving immediately!

0:24:020:24:05

Mr Takahashi. Please give us another chance. I'm begging you.

0:24:050:24:11

This is the worst hotel ever! Nothing could make me want to stay!

0:24:110:24:16

# Fun, baby, fun, fun, fun time... #

0:24:160:24:20

I don't believe it. Yolly Dolly?!

0:24:200:24:23

# ..Wanna dance close brackets Fun, baby, fun, fun, time

0:24:230:24:27

# Let's dance, brackets Do you wanna dance, close brackets?

0:24:270:24:30

# Fun, baby, fun, fun, fun time

0:24:300:24:33

# Let's dance, brackets Do you wanna dance, close brackets?

0:24:330:24:39

# Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. #

0:24:390:24:45

That was so beautiful.

0:24:450:24:46

It was number one in Japan for five years. I had your picture on my wall.

0:24:460:24:51

-When will you release a new single?

-Oh, Mr Takahashi.

0:24:510:24:55

I'm not in the music business any more.

0:24:550:24:58

Well, let's not be so hasty. I'm sure we can sort something out,

0:24:580:25:02

IF Mr Takahashi was willing to do something for us.

0:25:020:25:06

For example, let us win the competition.

0:25:060:25:10

Competition? What competition?

0:25:100:25:12

The International Hotel of the Year Competition.

0:25:120:25:16

You are the mystery guest, right?

0:25:160:25:19

Mystery guest?! Like Sherlock Holmes? Or a robot burglar from the future?

0:25:190:25:24

-See!

-You're not the mystery guest?

-Then who could it be?

0:25:240:25:30

A bowl of pasta, a lemonade and a slice of banoffee pie, please!

0:25:300:25:36

You're the mystery guest, aren't you Mr Bakewell Tart?

0:25:360:25:39

My Name is Mr Baker! Mr Baker!

0:25:390:25:43

I would never let you win the hotel competition.

0:25:430:25:47

Not if you were the last hotel on Earth! Good day to you!

0:25:470:25:51

So, that's it then.

0:25:570:25:59

We haven't won the competition and Hotel Trubble is over.

0:25:590:26:04

I knew I'd seen him. Mr Takahashi is the owner of Takahashi Baked Beans -

0:26:040:26:10

the biggest baked bean company in Japan!

0:26:100:26:13

-I can't believe I didn't recognise him(!)

-No, listen!

0:26:130:26:17

It says he's planning on holding the biggest baked bean convention

0:26:170:26:21

in Britain next month. He's probably looking for a hotel to stay at.

0:26:210:26:27

You mean...if we can persuade him to make everyone

0:26:270:26:30

come to the baked bean convention then Hotel Trubble will be saved.

0:26:300:26:35

But how can we convince him to do that?

0:26:350:26:37

We might not need to.

0:26:370:26:40

# Fun, baby, fun, fun, fun time. #

0:26:400:26:43

-Every room?

-He booked every room.

0:26:430:26:46

-For a whole month?

-For a whole month.

0:26:460:26:49

There's just one thing. They all want sushi.

0:26:490:26:52

Awww. Well, I suppose I better go out and buy some more goldfish.

0:26:520:26:57

I guess things are back to normal.

0:27:000:27:03

SHE SINGS A RUSSIAN SONG

0:27:030:27:07

Well, when I say normal...

0:27:090:27:12

And now I've got my voice back...

0:27:120:27:14

# I can sing! #

0:27:140:27:17

SHE SINGS BADLY

0:27:170:27:24

PHONE RINGS

0:27:240:27:29

NO VOICE COMES OUT

0:27:290:27:32

# Hotel Trubble for ever

0:27:320:27:34

# It's the pits and we know

0:27:340:27:36

# We're stuck but we love it

0:27:360:27:39

# Hotel Trubble for ever

0:27:390:27:42

# We're a team staying calm Arm in arm

0:27:420:27:45

# So the hotel survives

0:27:450:27:48

# Trubble, Trubble Keep the hotel alive. #

0:27:480:27:50

Mr Takahashi, an extremely rude businessman, comes to stay and Jamie is sure he is actually a Hotel of the Year mystery judge, and bends over backwards trying to keep him happy. However, it is actually Dolly, and her mysterious past, that makes Mr Takahashi's day.


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