Browse content similar to Offensive. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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'Meet Sally, our receptionist.' | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
Trying to have a conversation here! | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
'And this is Lenny, a man of many talents. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
'This is Dolly. She's Mr Trubble's...fiancee. | 0:00:12 | 0:00:17 | |
'And this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.' | 0:00:17 | 0:00:20 | |
Which just leaves me, Jamie. I'm the bellboy. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:24 | |
# Hotel Trubble for ever | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
# It's the pits and we know we're stuck | 0:00:27 | 0:00:30 | |
# But we love it | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
# Hotel Trubble for ever | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
# We're a team, staying calm On and on | 0:00:34 | 0:00:37 | |
# So the hotel survives Trubble, Trubble | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
# Keep the hotel alive. # | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
No way! That's the rudest photo I've ever seen! | 0:00:44 | 0:00:48 | |
It's not as rude as that one! | 0:00:48 | 0:00:52 | |
Have they no shame? | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Hey, guys. What you looking at? | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
Nothing. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:59 | |
"The World's Rudest Photographs". You can't read this in reception. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:09 | |
Jamie, but it's so good. Look at this one. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
A picture of a boy speaking with his mouth full! | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
-Oh! That IS rude! -Look at this one. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:20 | |
A girl not writing thank you letters for her Christmas presents! | 0:01:20 | 0:01:24 | |
-It's shocking! -And this one. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
Ah! | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
Three hotel staff reading a magazine and ignoring all the guests! | 0:01:29 | 0:01:34 | |
That's exceptionally rude. Probably the worst thing I've ever heard. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:39 | |
Oh! Guests! | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
Um... We weren't ignoring you. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
Relax, darling. I haven't heard anyone complaining. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:53 | |
Are you sure? Don't you think we're a bit lax with our customer care? | 0:01:53 | 0:01:59 | |
No. You're looking at it wrong. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
Bon appetit. | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
It's a cruel world out there, Jamie. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
Bad things happen. If we can't prepare our guests | 0:02:09 | 0:02:14 | |
for the disappointments of life, | 0:02:14 | 0:02:18 | |
how will they survive? | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
-We're doing them a favour. -Oh, no! -KLAXON | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
It can't be. It's... | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
The "really bad news" phone. It's Mr Trubble. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
Dolly. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
-Dolly. Dolly. -ANGRY VOICE ON PHONE | 0:02:31 | 0:02:35 | |
Hello, Trubbly. ANGRY VOICE | 0:02:35 | 0:02:39 | |
Oh. My. Goodness. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
This is the worst really bad news ever. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
Auntie Phyllis is coming to stay! | 0:02:46 | 0:02:50 | |
Who's Auntie Phyllis? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
This is Auntie Phyllis Trubble. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
Fearsome, disapproving, moral bastion of the Trubble family. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:05 | |
On her last visit, she didn't approve of me. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:09 | |
Or Lenny. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
Although she did seem to like Sally. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:15 | |
But only for 2.8 seconds. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:18 | |
Phyllis has just found out that Mr Trubble's got a new girlfriend. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:23 | |
She's on her way here now. If she doesn't like Dolly, | 0:03:23 | 0:03:27 | |
or she's offended by the way she's looking after the hotel, | 0:03:27 | 0:03:32 | |
Mr Trubble will blame us and turn the hotel into a bear sanctuary. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:37 | |
-This is a bear sanctuary. -GROWLING | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
-Any questions? -Yeah. When's the next train to Helsinki? | 0:03:40 | 0:03:44 | |
Come on, guys. It's not that bad. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:47 | |
Auntie Phyllis just hates any form of rudeness or discourtesy. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:51 | |
OK. Yeah, it IS that bad. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
We can still make this hotel respectable again. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:03 | |
Come on, guys! Plenty of hotels are less upstanding than this. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:07 | |
Like those hotels that lock their guests up. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:11 | |
-Those are prisons, Lenny. -Right. Is this not a prison? -No. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:16 | |
I'd better, er, let Mr Wilkinson out of solitary, then. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:21 | |
# He used to give me roses | 0:04:23 | 0:04:27 | |
# I wish he could again... # | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
-We'll never get sorted out in time. -Yes, we will. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:33 | |
We just need some exciting music! Cue exciting music. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:38 | |
MUSIC: Theme from Mission Impossible | 0:04:38 | 0:04:42 | |
-We need doilies, tea, scones and the best china. -Yes, sir! | 0:04:42 | 0:04:46 | |
And stop using old pants as dusters! | 0:04:46 | 0:04:50 | |
Lenny, starch the uniforms, hide the rude photos | 0:04:51 | 0:04:55 | |
and tell Chef to stop leaving fish to defrost in the lobby. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:59 | |
-Ay ay, sir. -Dolly, you have to be the perfect hostess. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:04 | |
-Find some guests and practise being polite. -I'm on it! | 0:05:04 | 0:05:09 | |
Look what you're doing...is perfect. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:13 | |
Show me how you do it. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
-And what about me, Jamie? -Slight problem. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:19 | |
-You're fired. Why? -What have I done now? | 0:05:19 | 0:05:23 | |
Nothing. You were fired two years ago, the last time Phyllis was here. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:28 | |
-We had to pretend we'd fired you to calm her down. -Right. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:36 | |
-Won't she be really cross when she finds me still working here? -Well... | 0:05:36 | 0:05:42 | |
That's why I got you this. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:46 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha! You've GOT to be kidding. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
-You weren't kidding. -Let's practise. Your name? | 0:05:50 | 0:05:54 | |
-MUMBLES -In the nice voice. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:57 | |
Miss Harriet Charmington, pleasure to make your acquaintance. | 0:05:57 | 0:06:01 | |
Excellent. Put your fan in front of your face. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:05 | |
And if in doubt, give it a flutter and a coy giggle. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:09 | |
Huh-huh-huh. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:11 | |
Little bit more totally different. | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
-He-he-he-he. -Perfect. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
-All done. And I've clingfilmed all the toilets. -Good work. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:22 | |
Jamie, I've got so much starch in this collar I can't breathe. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:27 | |
CHOKES | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
That's everything. There's nothing that Auntie can disapprove of. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:37 | |
I've just remembered! | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
-We've got Mr and Mrs Bombhead booked in this afternoon. -Don't worry. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
I've cancelled their reservations. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
I've also told Mr Parpypants, Mrs Bosoms | 0:06:46 | 0:06:50 | |
and Dr Burp that we're booked until April. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
I haven't cancelled a Lady Gaahouse, | 0:06:53 | 0:06:56 | |
who sounded lovely company for our esteemed visitor. | 0:06:56 | 0:07:00 | |
-Lady Gaahouse here? -Yeah. Have you heard of her? -Of course! She's... | 0:07:00 | 0:07:05 | |
La-a-a-ady | 0:07:05 | 0:07:09 | |
Gaahouse! | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
ROCK MUSIC | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
KISSES | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
BLOWS NOSE | 0:07:27 | 0:07:29 | |
Can we help you? | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
AMERICAN ACCENT: Sure. Get on your hands and knees - now! | 0:07:38 | 0:07:43 | |
I'm the internationally famous pop star, Lady Gaahouse. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:49 | |
You're just a bunch of jerks who have to do what I say. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:53 | |
Hey. I hate your trousers. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:57 | |
Right, here's the deal! | 0:07:58 | 0:08:00 | |
My record company want to take a photo for my new album | 0:08:00 | 0:08:04 | |
in a crummy second-rate hotel - looks like this joint fits the bill. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:09 | |
How dare you? This is a crummy third-rate hotel! | 0:08:09 | 0:08:14 | |
-Allow me to escort you from the premises. -Even better! | 0:08:15 | 0:08:19 | |
We need to empty some trash cans, smash up some furniture. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:24 | |
It'll be perfect! | 0:08:24 | 0:08:27 | |
-MUMBLES: -Lady Gaahouse, I love you. -Who's this frilly freak? | 0:08:27 | 0:08:32 | |
I don't dress like this. They made me do it. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:36 | |
-Please let me hang out with you. -Get that loser off my case! | 0:08:36 | 0:08:41 | |
Cut loose, sister. You're as boring as the old crone in the car park. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:46 | |
ALL: Auntie?! | 0:08:46 | 0:08:49 | |
It's Auntie. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
-She's coming this way. -Get rid of her. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
You need to go in here. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
-Why? -Because we're cleaning in here. -So what? | 0:08:57 | 0:09:01 | |
-She's coming closer. -We clean with, um... | 0:09:01 | 0:09:04 | |
-Fire. -Yes. Fire. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:06 | |
We clean with fire. We just get a big... | 0:09:06 | 0:09:09 | |
flame thrower and burn off all the dirt. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:13 | |
Our guests sometimes, not always, they get incinerated. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:18 | |
Well, in that case, I guess I'd better go in here. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
She's getting really close. There's no flames in here, right? | 0:09:21 | 0:09:25 | |
I'm finding that burning dirt a bit weird. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:29 | |
All our guests do. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:31 | |
-Really, really close. -What's going on in here? | 0:09:31 | 0:09:36 | |
And she's arrived! Oh, Auntie Phyllis! | 0:09:36 | 0:09:40 | |
Welcome to our humble establishment. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:44 | |
Why has your porter got no trousers on? | 0:09:44 | 0:09:48 | |
-Well... -We thought... | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
you might like to inspect his legs. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
-Oh. -Yes. What do you think? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
Strong conditioning but... | 0:09:59 | 0:10:04 | |
-..a bit too freckly for my liking. -That's what we thought. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:10 | |
-Trouser yourself immediately. -All right! Ow! | 0:10:10 | 0:10:14 | |
Now, which one of you two has the cheek | 0:10:14 | 0:10:18 | |
to be going out with my nephew? | 0:10:18 | 0:10:21 | |
I see. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:26 | |
Hm. Decent head of hair. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:32 | |
Strong teeth. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
Hm, traces of ear wax. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:38 | |
But within acceptable limits. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
-And who is this? -Er... | 0:10:40 | 0:10:44 | |
This is Harriet Charmington, | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
our receptionist. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
Hm. Delightful! | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
He-he-he-he! | 0:10:52 | 0:10:53 | |
CRASH > | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
Stop! | 0:10:57 | 0:10:59 | |
-What are you doing? -Smashing up the hotel. -Why? | 0:11:00 | 0:11:04 | |
I'm a rock star. It's in my contract. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
Can't you tidy up hotels instead? | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
Boring! | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
-Please, you have to leave. -But I haven't finished smashing. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:18 | |
-We'll smash it for you after you've gone. -What about my album cover? | 0:11:18 | 0:11:23 | |
I need a picture of me in a dirty vandalised hotel. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:27 | |
Or...or what about a picture of you leaving a clean intact hotel | 0:11:27 | 0:11:34 | |
very quickly, out of this window? | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
Listen, blondie. Quit pushing me around or you know what I'll do? | 0:11:37 | 0:11:42 | |
I'm gonna start dating you! Do you want me to do that? | 0:11:43 | 0:11:48 | |
Do you wanna introduce me to your mom at your nana's birthday party? | 0:11:48 | 0:11:53 | |
I'll do whatever you say. Please don't be my girlfriend. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:58 | |
What on Earth is going on in here? | 0:11:58 | 0:12:01 | |
Er... | 0:12:01 | 0:12:03 | |
This is the TV room. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
And the reason it's in such a mess | 0:12:05 | 0:12:08 | |
is to show what happens to your mind | 0:12:08 | 0:12:12 | |
when you watch too much TV. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
Yes. It's a warning to the guests. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:20 | |
Why is the television on the floor? | 0:12:20 | 0:12:23 | |
To stop anyone looking at the mindless rubbish | 0:12:23 | 0:12:27 | |
that comes out of it! | 0:12:27 | 0:12:29 | |
Excellent. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:31 | |
-That's how I have mine. -DOLLY LAUGHS NERVOUSLY | 0:12:31 | 0:12:35 | |
-And who is this garish person? -Who am I? Who are you? | 0:12:35 | 0:12:40 | |
-This is Lady Gaahouse! -Oh. Of the Henley Gaahouses? | 0:12:40 | 0:12:45 | |
No. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
-Dreadful people. I can't abide them. Where did you school? -School? | 0:12:47 | 0:12:52 | |
-Listen, Grandma... -Look! Out of the window! | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
-What is it? -Thought I saw a...vicar. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
-A vicar? -Yes. Doing a lovely sermon. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
Come and have a look. This way. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
It's just out there on the... | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
Oh. The lovely local one. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
Nonsense! I see no vicar! | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
Oh! What a shame! | 0:13:12 | 0:13:16 | |
We must have startled him. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
-Quite shy, vicars. -Yeah. -Keep looking. I'm sure he'll come back. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:24 | |
Take her out! | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
What? Take her coat? Oh. Thank you, man. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:30 | |
What on Earth are you doing? | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
I'm... | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
airing the table cloth. It was about to start to smell a bit musty. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:48 | |
About to start to smell? | 0:13:48 | 0:13:50 | |
Would you like to smell it? | 0:13:50 | 0:13:53 | |
WHISPERS: You'd better get rid of that pop star now or you are fired! | 0:13:53 | 0:13:59 | |
Please! | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
Lady Gaahouse, would you like to see my collection of apple cores? | 0:14:01 | 0:14:05 | |
- OK. Sure. - Oh, great. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
I can't smell anything. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
Ooh. It's gone. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
Well, you know, that's airing for you. | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
Is this, like, your room? | 0:14:22 | 0:14:25 | |
No. This is one of the rooms in the hotel but I hang out here. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:29 | |
It's like my secret den. Look. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
- Cool. - There's also this. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:39 | |
This is my oldest apple core. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:43 | |
It's almost a month old. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
Right, you want to stay in the hotel? Stay in here. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:49 | |
Smash it up as much as you want but stay in here. Keep her in here. | 0:14:49 | 0:14:55 | |
-Can I smash it up as well? -No. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
That guy's a dufus. You gotta break free. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
Yeah. Yeah. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
RING, RING, RING, RING # I can hear the bells... # | 0:15:04 | 0:15:10 | |
22 seconds. Very slow. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
I am severely disappointed, Dolly. You must bring your staff to heel. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:20 | |
-Where is your naughty step? -We don't have... | 0:15:20 | 0:15:24 | |
Just as I thought. You are mollycoddling them. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:29 | |
Fortunately, I brought my own. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:32 | |
You! Sit! | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
Discipline. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:39 | |
You must be strict if you want to be good enough for my little chuckie. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:44 | |
You have made some improvements in the staffing. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:48 | |
Miss Charmington here is a vast improvement | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
on that awful girl that was on reception last time. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:56 | |
Oh, she was dreadful. | 0:15:56 | 0:15:58 | |
The rudest, coarsest, most vulgar degenerate | 0:15:58 | 0:16:03 | |
I have ever had the displeasure to deal with | 0:16:03 | 0:16:08 | |
in my entire lifetime. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:11 | |
And the dress sense! | 0:16:11 | 0:16:13 | |
Why! Even the filthiest tramp would shudder at the thought of wearing. | 0:16:13 | 0:16:20 | |
Disgusting. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
I've just about had... | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
Back on your step! | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
Miss Charmington. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
-You please me. -He-he-he-he-he! | 0:16:33 | 0:16:37 | |
I've decided that you will be my companion | 0:16:37 | 0:16:40 | |
for the remainder of my stay. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:43 | |
-Will you take high tea with me, Auntie Phyllis? -Very well. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:48 | |
I shall grill you on your upbringing and prospects. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:53 | |
You'd better have got rid of that Lady Gaahouse | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
or you can kiss your job goodbye! | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
She's gone. She's gone. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
Sally, help me. I was lying, OK? Lady Gaahouse is upstairs. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:19 | |
She's still planning on shooting her album cover. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:22 | |
Don't let Auntie Phyllis go up. What are you doing? | 0:17:22 | 0:17:26 | |
I'm not doing this any more, Jamie. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
If Lady Gaahouse is shooting her album cover, I want to be on it. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:33 | |
You can't... | 0:17:33 | 0:17:35 | |
Don't...! | 0:17:35 | 0:17:36 | |
RING, RING, RING | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
# Good morning! I gotta get runnin'! # | 0:17:39 | 0:17:42 | |
Nine seconds. That's an improvement. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
You see, that is the power of the naughty step, darling. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:50 | |
Now you, go and get us some tea and scones. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:54 | |
-Where's that lovely receptionist? Bring her here! -Yes, madam. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:59 | |
So, tell me, why exactly do you talk in that horrible voice? | 0:18:00 | 0:18:06 | |
Please, please, please let me be on your album cover! | 0:18:09 | 0:18:13 | |
-Dunno. Say please more times. -Please, please. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
Please, please, please, please. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:18 | |
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE! | 0:18:18 | 0:18:24 | |
-No. -Please. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
Oh, OK. You're in. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:28 | |
SCREAMS | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
What are you doing? | 0:18:30 | 0:18:33 | |
I said photos in the room! | 0:18:33 | 0:18:36 | |
The room sucks. I'm doing it here. I'm cool now. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:41 | |
Lenny! Get out of that ridiculous costume! | 0:18:41 | 0:18:46 | |
-You have to be Harriet Charmington. -No way. You're not the boss of me. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:51 | |
You tell him, Lenny. He's so uncool. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
You look like some sort of massive bellboy. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
I AM a bellboy. Lenny, please. We have to impress Auntie... | 0:18:57 | 0:19:02 | |
No, Jamie. I'm free. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:04 | |
I do what Lady Gaahouse tells me. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:07 | |
I need him for my album cover. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
-Nobody looks weirder in that costume than him. -Oh, really? | 0:19:09 | 0:19:14 | |
Hey. You were right. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
This lady's got something real special. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:20 | |
Why do you always embarrass me? RING, RING, RING | 0:19:24 | 0:19:28 | |
# You can ring my bell Ring my bell... # | 0:19:28 | 0:19:32 | |
15 seconds. Naughty step! | 0:19:34 | 0:19:37 | |
-But... -Step! | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
Ah, Miss Charmington. Please, take a seat beside me. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:48 | |
GIGGLES | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
Such modesty. Do not be frightened, my dear. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:57 | |
-Please. -Ooh. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
You! | 0:20:05 | 0:20:07 | |
Back on the step! | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
So, what has Dolly been doing to refine your manners so? | 0:20:11 | 0:20:17 | |
WHISPERS: Why is Lenny in the costume? Where's Sally? | 0:20:17 | 0:20:21 | |
She's...emigrated to Hatfield. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:25 | |
Emigrated? Why? | 0:20:25 | 0:20:28 | |
She just wanted a new life. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
-Start again somewhere exotic. -CRASH | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
-What's that? -Er... That will probably be a postcard arriving. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:39 | |
From Sally. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:41 | |
About Hatfield. I'll go and see what it says. | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
Aaargh! | 0:20:50 | 0:20:53 | |
-What's going on? -I can't work with these amateurs! | 0:20:53 | 0:20:58 | |
This can't take direction. This keeps standing in front of me! | 0:20:58 | 0:21:02 | |
All I'm saying is it would work better if it's just a picture of me. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:07 | |
-Whose album is this? -I am sick of you ogling the limelight! | 0:21:07 | 0:21:11 | |
-This is my big chance! -You've got this much talent. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:15 | |
-And you've got THIS much talent! -SCREAMS | 0:21:15 | 0:21:19 | |
Sally, please, try and keep her happy. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:24 | |
It's not me. She's such a diva! | 0:21:24 | 0:21:27 | |
-Just try! Do whatever she wants, just keep her quiet. -OK. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:31 | |
I'll try, as a favour for you. | 0:21:31 | 0:21:34 | |
I want flowers in reception and five white kittens or I walk. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:38 | |
I hate this crummy corridor! SCREAMS | 0:21:38 | 0:21:43 | |
# Ring, ring goes the bell! # | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
I just want to see your face! | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
-I'm sure you are very pretty. -I wouldn't do that. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:54 | |
Don't be ridiculous! I just want a glimpse of that innocent... | 0:21:54 | 0:21:58 | |
Aargh! She bit me! | 0:21:58 | 0:22:00 | |
Naughty Miss Charmington! Don't bite the guests! | 0:22:00 | 0:22:04 | |
I'm so, so sorry. I'll just get her muzzle. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:08 | |
Come and sit down. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
-Do you want me to kiss it better? -Get off! | 0:22:13 | 0:22:16 | |
Wow! That tasted horrible! Biting old ladies is over-rated. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:22 | |
-Don't make me do it again. -I don't want you to. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:26 | |
-I'll stay down here and be on Lady Gaahouse's album. -It's upstairs. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:32 | |
What's all that? | 0:22:32 | 0:22:34 | |
No, you can't sing backing vocals. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:38 | |
All I'm saying is if I'm on the cover the fans will feel cheated. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:43 | |
-Jamie, tell her. -Why are you down here? | 0:22:43 | 0:22:47 | |
You said to let her do whatever she wanted. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:50 | |
-RING, RING, RING -Just get her out of here. -Get out! | 0:22:50 | 0:22:55 | |
Never in all my life! | 0:22:57 | 0:23:00 | |
Now, how are we? | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
Where's my tea and scones? | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
Only scones can help me now, Dolly. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
CRASH! BANG! | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
Just one... | 0:23:11 | 0:23:14 | |
-DRILLING -What's she doing? | 0:23:15 | 0:23:18 | |
-It was HIS idea. -I thought it would look good. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:21 | |
Jamie, what's she still doing here? | 0:23:21 | 0:23:25 | |
-Sally's fault! -I've been trying to get rid of her. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:28 | |
She keeps trying to get onto MY album cover! | 0:23:28 | 0:23:32 | |
That's it! Get off of MY album cover! | 0:23:32 | 0:23:36 | |
-No. You get off of my album cover! -Jamie! | 0:23:36 | 0:23:40 | |
You are so fired! | 0:23:40 | 0:23:43 | |
No. I can make this all right. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:46 | |
-Where's Auntie Phyllis? -I left her reading some magazines. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:50 | |
Magazines? | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
-Oh, no! -What? | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
Nothing at all. Forget the problem with the magazines. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:58 | |
Except, that's where I hid the book of the world's rudest photographs. | 0:24:00 | 0:24:05 | |
Auntie Phyllis, there's no need to panic because, you see... | 0:24:27 | 0:24:32 | |
this is all a dream. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
Am I dreaming? | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
Yeah. Yes! Just think about it, none of this would really happen! | 0:24:37 | 0:24:43 | |
-Of course. It does seem a little far-fetched. -Exactly. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:50 | |
You'd never get a pop star fighting a receptionist | 0:24:50 | 0:24:55 | |
during a photo shoot in a lobby. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:58 | |
Or a porter in a dress with a pneumatic drill! | 0:24:58 | 0:25:03 | |
And look! Here is a fish in a pair of underpants. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:09 | |
Ooh! | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
-You'd only get that in a dream. -It all makes sense now. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:16 | |
I must be dreaming. | 0:25:16 | 0:25:18 | |
I'll just, er, have a lie down | 0:25:18 | 0:25:22 | |
over here. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:24 | |
And when I wake up, | 0:25:24 | 0:25:27 | |
-it'll all be gone. -It'll all be gone. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:30 | |
That's right. You lie down there and have a nice little sleep. | 0:25:30 | 0:25:35 | |
-There you go. -Most distressing. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:39 | |
POP | 0:25:44 | 0:25:45 | |
Are you OK? | 0:25:45 | 0:25:48 | |
-What happened? -It's very odd. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
-You fainted the minute you came into the hotel. -Did I? | 0:25:51 | 0:25:56 | |
-Oh, well, I did have the strangest dream. -Oh, dear. | 0:25:56 | 0:26:03 | |
I'm sure it was totally random and unrelated to anything in reality. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:08 | |
Would you like me to show you around the hotel? | 0:26:11 | 0:26:15 | |
-I'm sure there's so much you want to ask. -Oh, no. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:19 | |
I'm sure you're doing a marvellous job. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:22 | |
-Let me give you a hand up. -Get off me. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
It's been lovely to see you, Auntie Phyllis. | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
Do come again, any time! | 0:26:29 | 0:26:32 | |
Yes, well, I think I might be a bit busy. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:36 | |
I'm sure you make a lovely couple. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
-Bye, darling! -Bye! | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
I'm SO glad that's over. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
Hey, guys! | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
I just wanted to say thank you. I got the best album cover. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:50 | |
I want to give you this, a present from me. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:54 | |
This is the wildest, crummiest hotel I've ever stayed in. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:58 | |
Good thing those two didn't see each other. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:03 | |
I just realised I forgot my handbag. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:07 | |
Wait a minute! | 0:27:09 | 0:27:11 | |
It was all real? | 0:27:11 | 0:27:14 | |
-Calm, calm, calm down, Auntie Phyllis. -Calm yourself. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:19 | |
This is still a dream. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:22 | |
You haven't woken up yet! | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
Look! Woo! The pants fish! | 0:27:25 | 0:27:29 | |
Blllllp! Blllllp! | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
Hello. Hotel Trubble! | 0:27:39 | 0:27:41 | |
# Hotel Trubble for ever | 0:27:41 | 0:27:44 | |
# It's the pits and we know we're stuck | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
# But we love it | 0:27:47 | 0:27:49 | |
# Hotel Trubble for ever | 0:27:49 | 0:27:52 | |
# We're a team, staying calm On and on | 0:27:52 | 0:27:54 | |
# So the hotel survives Trubble, Trubble | 0:27:54 | 0:27:57 | |
# Keep the hotel alive. # | 0:27:58 | 0:28:00 |