Queen Mu Hounded
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
GENTLE MUSIC | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
I'm sleeping on this boiled egg... | 0:00:10 | 0:00:14 | |
DISCORDANT MUSIC | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
That's me - Rufus Hound. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
I'm a television presenter... | 0:00:25 | 0:00:26 | |
..and every day I save the world. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
Ah! | 0:00:30 | 0:00:31 | |
See him? Well, this ugly dipstick is the evil Dr Muhaha... | 0:00:31 | 0:00:37 | |
It's pronounced "Muhahaha". | 0:00:37 | 0:00:39 | |
..and his geeky sidekick, Steve. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:41 | |
Shall I? | 0:00:41 | 0:00:43 | |
Every day he comes up with some new plan to conquer us, | 0:00:44 | 0:00:48 | |
and every day I stop him. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
What? Someone's got to do it. And that's not the half of it. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:55 | |
If, at the end of the day, I have beaten him, well, | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
he just hits rewind, and the whole day goes back to the beginning. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:02 | |
FAST REWIND | 0:01:02 | 0:01:03 | |
GENTLE MUSIC | 0:01:05 | 0:01:08 | |
Not again! | 0:01:09 | 0:01:11 | |
Whoa! | 0:01:11 | 0:01:12 | |
Right, off to my first day at work... | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
again. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:17 | |
So, you'd think I'd know exactly what's going to happen. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
Morning. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:23 | |
Unfortunately, it's not always that simple, | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
because Dr Mu's always coming up with a new plan. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:29 | |
Luckily, whatever world I'm in, these two always turn up to help. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:33 | |
The only thing is, I never know what they're going to look like. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
Last, but by no means least, is this good-looking chap. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:41 | |
That's me, from years ahead in the future. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
Future Rufus likes to think he's helping, | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
but sometimes I'm not so sure it's not his fault I'm in this mess. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:50 | |
So that's it, in a nutshell. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
You never know, maybe one day I'll wake up, and it'll be tomorrow. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:56 | |
BIRD CAWS | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
Or, at the very least, I'll remember about that bird. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
OINKING | 0:02:17 | 0:02:19 | |
Everybody relax - I'm here. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
Oh, it's the new guy! Hi there, I'm Gill. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
Hiya, I'm Barry. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
That's odd - have I met you before? | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
I am not the Hound you're looking for. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
Right, well, come on then, we haven't got all day. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:43 | |
DIRECTOR: 30 seconds to show time. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
So, this experiment? | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
It involves this, the world's most advanced X-ray machine. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:55 | |
-Now, all you have to do is... -Ten seconds. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
Don't worry, you'll be fine. | 0:02:57 | 0:02:58 | |
What? Where...? How does it work? | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
And in five, four, three... | 0:03:02 | 0:03:06 | |
Ah! | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
On air. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:09 | |
Hello and welcome to FunLab. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
The show that puts the fizz into physics... | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
-The mystery into chemistry... -And the "oh, gee" into biology. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:21 | |
Kicking off today's experiment is brand-new presenter Richard Hound. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:25 | |
Let me introduce you to the world's greatest X-ray machine. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:31 | |
Yes, for years, scientists have used different types of radiation... | 0:03:31 | 0:03:35 | |
'And just as I'm getting going, my meddling future self | 0:03:35 | 0:03:38 | |
'turns up to ruin my day.' | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
You stand in front of it, and it will tell you all the germs, | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
all the bacteria that are active inside your body. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
But it won't tell you when your watch goes mad | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
and blasts you through a wormhole in time and space. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:55 | |
Shame, that could have been useful. Whoa! | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
Rudolf? | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
'We have a technical hitch. FunLab will resume shortly.' | 0:04:04 | 0:04:08 | |
MUSIC: "It's Not Over Yet" by Klaxons | 0:04:12 | 0:04:15 | |
Ooh! Look at me! | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
I'm the most brilliant genius in the multiverse | 0:04:20 | 0:04:24 | |
and I still can't tie my shoelaces properly! | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
Bossing my assistant around, even though I'd be nothing without her. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:34 | |
-MU: -You'd be nothing without who? | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
Er... You, sir. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
I'd be nothing without you. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
Oh, Steve. I wouldn't say you'd be nothing without me. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
-No, sir? -Goodness, no! | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
You'd simply be a worthless piece of scum. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
A rancid lump of pus festering on the backside of humanity. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:54 | |
-But that's not nothing. -Yes, sir. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:58 | |
Thank you, sir. | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
So now I'm off to meet my future self, | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
so he can send me on some harebrained mission. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
-Whew! -Boo! | 0:05:10 | 0:05:11 | |
Nnng! Do not creep up on me like that! | 0:05:11 | 0:05:15 | |
-You're the one doing the creeping up. -I never even moved! | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
Yeah, but I'm you from the future, | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
so really, you're creeping up on yourself, | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
which makes it all the more surprising that... | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
you nearly jumped out of your skin. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:27 | |
I did not nearly jump out of my skin. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
Anyway, we haven't got time for all this. We've got to save the Earth. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:33 | |
Now, here, take this. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
-What is it? -Next week's lottery numbers. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:40 | |
-Really? -No, it's a breath spray! Use it wisely. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:44 | |
-Fine. I will. -And remember, | 0:05:44 | 0:05:46 | |
I don't want to have to come back | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
two-thirds of the way through the episode and remind you. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:50 | |
-All right! -Goodbye. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
-OK. Systems check. -Are the pictures still clear? | 0:06:02 | 0:06:06 | |
Yes. Clear as a bell. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
Right. I've just got to get the hang of these controls... | 0:06:13 | 0:06:17 | |
Try shaking her head. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
Yes... | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
MU CHUCKLES | 0:06:23 | 0:06:24 | |
Ha! That seems simple enough. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
CLATTER | 0:06:26 | 0:06:27 | |
Keith, is that you? | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
Yes... | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
And nodding... | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
Up and down. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
Yes. She works fine. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:41 | |
Now, what's the plan? | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
-You mean, you don't know? -Of course I know the plan! | 0:06:47 | 0:06:50 | |
I just want you to tell me so I can revel in my genius. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:54 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
Begin. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:57 | |
You've managed to shrink yourself down | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
to the size of a single bacteria | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
using a specially modified washing machine. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
It's not a washing machine, it's a microscopifier. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:10 | |
Nothing like a washing machine, is it? | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
No. Nothing at all(!) | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
Continue. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:18 | |
And now, microscopically small, you've transported yourself into the body of... | 0:07:18 | 0:07:23 | |
Queen Gertrude. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:07:25 | 0:07:26 | |
You now have total control over her every move and utterance. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:31 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
Now all you need to do is take over from every leader in the world | 0:07:33 | 0:07:37 | |
until you've taken over the whole planet. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
MU CHUCKLES | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
I'm a genius. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:43 | |
You've already taken over the powers of the Genovian government. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
-CLATTER -Precisely. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:49 | |
One down, 11 to go. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
-11? -Oh, yes. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
Then I shall rule all 12 countries on Earth. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:58 | |
There are more than 12 countries on the Earth, sir. | 0:07:58 | 0:08:03 | |
There are?! | 0:08:03 | 0:08:04 | |
I mean... I mean, there are. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
Of course there are. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
-How many? -195. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
195?! | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
-Oh... -Yep. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
So be it. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
Continue. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
Your plan is to invite the world leaders to Genovia. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:23 | |
You'll then put sleeping potion in their drink. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:27 | |
When they all fall asleep, you'll instruct the Genovian army | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
-to invade their countries. -Genius! | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
Unopposed, they'll be powerless to order their armies to do anything. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:36 | |
By the end of the day, power over the Earth will be ours. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:41 | |
Er...mine. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
Yours. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:45 | |
Just make sure you stay in the Queen's body till it's all done. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
If you leave the body for more than a few seconds, | 0:08:48 | 0:08:51 | |
you'll go back to normal size and the plan will be ruined. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
Shut up, Steve! | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
'Right, so all I have to do is get into the Queen's body | 0:08:57 | 0:09:02 | |
'and find a way of getting Mu out.' | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
Oh, if you're putting the washing machine on, | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
can you wash me some underpants? | 0:09:11 | 0:09:13 | |
I got a bit scared during the transportation process | 0:09:13 | 0:09:16 | |
and I, um... | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
(made a bit of a mess.) | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
-Oh, that is not pleasant. -Hm-mm. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
GURGLING | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
I hardly think it's your place to say whether it is or it isn't. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
IN POSH VOICE: Oh, I'm so sorry. To whom am I speaking? | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
-We're Her Majesty's brain cells. -So, this is the brain? | 0:09:35 | 0:09:39 | |
No, this is a stomach. We've been evicted from the brain. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:42 | |
What?! | 0:09:42 | 0:09:43 | |
We woke up this morning to find the door boarded shut. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
-A sign outside saying "No entry". -And another saying "You smell". | 0:09:46 | 0:09:49 | |
So we've been trying to find other cells to help us, but they don't quite get it. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:53 | |
Not quite as clever as us. We are brain cells. | 0:09:53 | 0:09:56 | |
Yeah...you said. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
The thing about brain cells, though - if we're not used, we die. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
Give us a day and we'll probably not exist any more. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
We need to find out what's happened. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:05 | |
-Muhahahaha. -Oh, I'm glad you find it amusing. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:09 | |
-No, no. -Oh yes! You have a right old giggle, | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
-but I need to know who's responsible. -Muhahahaha. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
It's not funny! We could die in two days. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:17 | |
I'm trying to tell you who's behind it. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:18 | |
-Who? -Muhahaha. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
Stop laughing. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:21 | |
No, I'm trying to tell you who's fault it is! | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
-Whose is it? -Muhahaha! | 0:10:23 | 0:10:24 | |
Yah! | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
The evil Dr Muhaha, a massive megalomaniac - | 0:10:27 | 0:10:30 | |
-he's the one responsible. -Oh. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
He's taken over the Queen's body as part of a plan | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
to take over the world. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
-Do you see? -See what? | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
-Who's responsible. -Who's that? | 0:10:40 | 0:10:41 | |
Muhahahahahaha. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
CRUNCH | 0:10:43 | 0:10:44 | |
Nnnaaaagggghhh...! | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
CLASSICAL MUSIC | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
Right. The guests are all here. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:04 | |
Now to put the sleeping powder | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
into the drinks. Back, back... | 0:11:06 | 0:11:10 | |
Ooh! | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
Back, that's it, that's it. Come on. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
Argh! Not left... Right! | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
GLASS BREAKS | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
Ooh! | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
CLATTER | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
Let's get the powder. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:41 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
Ah. That's more like it. | 0:11:56 | 0:12:00 | |
Your Majesty? | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
Thank you so much for a truly wonderful party. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
Not at all, Prime Minister. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:10 | |
There is just one tiny thing, though. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:12 | |
I'm sure it's a mistake, | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
but our generals are telling us that your armed forces | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
are massing on our borders. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
Some idiots are spreading rumours | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
that you're planning a mass invasion of all our countries. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:26 | |
MU AND QUEEN LAUGH | 0:12:26 | 0:12:27 | |
A mass invasion? No, no, no. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:30 | |
They are merely photographers. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
I send them to your country to take photographs. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
I see. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
Um...can I ask why? | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
Because your countries are so very beautiful. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
So why are they carrying guns? | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
They are not guns. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
They are just long, pointy cameras. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:52 | |
Well, that seems fine, then. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
Stupid Prime Minister! | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
If you will excuse me. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
-Look! -100 centimetres. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:04 | |
That's 1,000 millimetres, | 0:13:04 | 0:13:05 | |
10 decametres, one-thousandth of a kilometre or one metre. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:09 | |
It's described as a distance that light travels | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
in 1299,792,458th of a second. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:16 | |
Are you two always like this? | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
We're brain cells, aren't we? All we do is think. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:20 | |
Yes, but you're brain cells, not mouth cells, | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
so you could think quietly. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:24 | |
Quietly? A word that originates from the Latin for... | 0:13:26 | 0:13:29 | |
The Latin for shut up. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
CLASSICAL MUSIC | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
INDISTINCT CHATTER | 0:13:33 | 0:13:36 | |
Genovia's palaces really are beautiful. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
They are not Genovia's, they are mine. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:41 | |
Everything is mine. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
-All mine. -All mine! | 0:13:43 | 0:13:47 | |
MU AND QUEEN LAUGH WILDLY | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
Ooh... | 0:13:51 | 0:13:52 | |
So, this is Genovia's national drink. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:56 | |
Pickled sprout juice. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:58 | |
Please, everybody, drink. To Genovia! | 0:13:58 | 0:14:03 | |
ALL: To Genovia! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
We've been walking for ages. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
How long does it take to travel a metre? | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
Quite a while when you're only a few nanometres tall. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:19 | |
-Fair point. Where are we? -No idea. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:22 | |
BURP! | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
WIND WHOOSHES | 0:14:24 | 0:14:27 | |
Ooh! | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
Better out than in! | 0:14:29 | 0:14:31 | |
What on Earth was that? | 0:14:33 | 0:14:34 | |
Why wasn't I warned? | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
Something's going on. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:37 | |
MUSIC: "Rabbit Heart" by Florence & The Machine | 0:14:43 | 0:14:46 | |
Steve! | 0:14:46 | 0:14:47 | |
-MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY -Yes, sir? | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
What's going on? There's something wrong with this woman. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:52 | |
Just don't tell me that pesky Rufus Hound has anything to do with this! | 0:14:52 | 0:14:56 | |
OK. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:58 | |
-Are you there? -Yes. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:02 | |
Well, why have you gone quiet? | 0:15:02 | 0:15:03 | |
You told me not to tell you. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:05 | |
You mean Hound is involved? Where? | 0:15:05 | 0:15:08 | |
-Round about the left arm, sir. -You idiot! | 0:15:08 | 0:15:12 | |
-I think we may be lost. -Curses! | 0:15:13 | 0:15:17 | |
We've got to get to Mu before he can launch the invasion. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:20 | |
Let's see how he copes with this. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
Oh! CHUCKLES | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
Oh... | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
-Oh! -I'm sorry, Prime Minister, I... -Ah! | 0:15:26 | 0:15:30 | |
-Take that. -Oh! | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
-I have a bit of a problem. -Oh! | 0:15:32 | 0:15:35 | |
Ah! | 0:15:35 | 0:15:36 | |
-And that. -Wah! | 0:15:36 | 0:15:37 | |
That's... Phew. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:40 | |
I am so sorry. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:43 | |
I have a bad arm. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
Follow that artery! | 0:15:45 | 0:15:47 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:15:50 | 0:15:51 | |
DISTANT LAUGHTER | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
-So, where are we? -Well, if my calculations are correct... | 0:15:53 | 0:15:57 | |
then I think...think... | 0:15:57 | 0:16:01 | |
we're in the Queen's body. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
Nice work, Einstein(!) | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
I actually meant where in the Queen's body are we? | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
Oh! Oh, no idea, then. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
What's everyone laughing at? | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
Oh! I know! | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
We must be in the funny bone! | 0:16:14 | 0:16:15 | |
Oh, brilliant! | 0:16:15 | 0:16:17 | |
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? | 0:16:18 | 0:16:22 | |
Cliff! | 0:16:24 | 0:16:25 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:25 | 0:16:28 | |
Dearie me. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:29 | |
I thought you two were meant to be brain cells. This is rubbish. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:33 | |
Seriously, this is no laughing matter, | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
we're miles away, we can't stop Mu from here. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:43 | |
I wish this bloke would shut up. He's getting right on my nerve... | 0:16:43 | 0:16:48 | |
Well, pull yourself together! | 0:16:48 | 0:16:50 | |
-LAUGHTER -Yes! | 0:16:50 | 0:16:51 | |
Nerves! | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
Of course! That's it! | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
Oh, brilliant! What is? | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
These red slimy things, dangling down, | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
they're nerve endings. There are loads around the funny bone. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
-Are there? -Yeah. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
You know when you bang your elbow, and you get that sort of funny jolt? | 0:17:04 | 0:17:08 | |
Well, you wouldn't, because you're brain cells, | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
but trust me, it happens. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
And it's all to do with the nerve endings around the elbow. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
We control the nerve endings, we control the arm. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:18 | |
Well, here goes. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
Oh! | 0:17:23 | 0:17:24 | |
Oh, dear! | 0:17:26 | 0:17:27 | |
Dear, dear! Oh, dear me! | 0:17:29 | 0:17:33 | |
Do excuse me, Prime Minister. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:34 | |
It's an old Genovian tradition, we always slap our guests hard | 0:17:34 | 0:17:39 | |
in the face. | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
Oh! Dear, dear, dear! | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
Do excuse me. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:48 | |
Oh, Hound! | 0:17:48 | 0:17:51 | |
Ah, this calls for something sneaky. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:56 | |
Rufus, I know you're here, it's me, Mu. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:02 | |
Now, I know we don't normally get on, but all this fighting is silly. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:07 | |
Come up to the brain and let's settle this like adults. Hmm? | 0:18:07 | 0:18:12 | |
Call it a truce. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:15 | |
A truce?! Does he honestly think I'm going to trust him? | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
-Well said. -Yeah. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
I wasn't born yesterday. He must be mad if he thinks I'm going up there. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:23 | |
Hear, hear. | 0:18:23 | 0:18:25 | |
See you soon. Oh, unless of course, | 0:18:25 | 0:18:29 | |
you don't dare! | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
-What?! Right, I'll show him. -No! | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
Nobody calls me a coward and gets away with it! | 0:18:34 | 0:18:37 | |
But that's what he wants! Trust us! We're brain cells! | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
And not just any brain cells. We're royal brain cells, which makes us even cleverer. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:44 | |
-Does it? -Oh, yes. Just think of all the clever, | 0:18:44 | 0:18:48 | |
brainy things royalty have done down the line. There's, erm... | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
Erm...there's... | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
No. Um, or...erm... | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
Oh! | 0:19:00 | 0:19:01 | |
GENTLE, SLEEPY MUSIC | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
Gosh, what a...lovely lullaby. | 0:19:09 | 0:19:12 | |
It's not a lullaby. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
It's traditional Genovian music. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
Is it? | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
Are you sure you're not sending us all to sleep so you can... | 0:19:22 | 0:19:25 | |
invade our countries? | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:19:27 | 0:19:28 | |
HE CRASHES | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
GENTLE, SLEEPY MUSIC | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
I can't go on anymore! | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
Yeah, you can. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:52 | |
I'm so weak. Leave us behind. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
Speak for yourself. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:57 | |
Look, we're almost there. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:00 | |
We're at the nose. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
I give you my word, nothing bad is going to happen to you. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:05 | |
When I give somebody my word | 0:20:08 | 0:20:10 | |
that nothing bad is going to happen to them, then no... | 0:20:10 | 0:20:13 | |
WHOOSHING What's that smell? | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
It smells like pepper. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:20 | |
Ooh! | 0:20:20 | 0:20:21 | |
Don't! You should hold on! | 0:20:21 | 0:20:23 | |
Why? | 0:20:23 | 0:20:25 | |
Ooh...ooh...choo! | 0:20:25 | 0:20:28 | |
TINY VOICE CRIES | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
LOUD PANTING IN BACKGROUND | 0:20:33 | 0:20:36 | |
Well...I don't know how I managed it, | 0:20:36 | 0:20:41 | |
but I'm in the brain. Brilliant! | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
Her Majesty is a lot shorter than you think. Right, then, where's Mu? | 0:20:44 | 0:20:49 | |
Yeah, just as I thought, he's scarpered. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:53 | |
Right, time to get into the banqueting room, | 0:20:53 | 0:20:56 | |
wake up the world leaders, | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
send them home and ruin Mu's plan. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
Right. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:03 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:21:11 | 0:21:12 | |
Whoa! Wah! | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:21:27 | 0:21:29 | |
Right. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:31 | |
Excuse me! | 0:21:31 | 0:21:33 | |
Oh. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:36 | |
Excuse me! | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
Wakey, wake... | 0:21:42 | 0:21:44 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:21:44 | 0:21:47 | |
There's the Queen! But if that's the Queen, then... | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
who am I in? | 0:21:52 | 0:21:53 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
Oh, not the little yappy dog! | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
Oh, that... | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
No wonder this thing is hard to control, | 0:22:03 | 0:22:05 | |
it's not like dogs listen to their brains. | 0:22:05 | 0:22:07 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:22:11 | 0:22:12 | |
Easy. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:16 | |
Easy! Whoa! | 0:22:16 | 0:22:18 | |
Stupid dog. Stop bothering me! | 0:22:18 | 0:22:21 | |
Have some Genovian sausage! | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
Wa-a-ah! | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
RAPID PANTING IN BACKGROUND | 0:22:36 | 0:22:39 | |
I've failed. Here I am, trapped inside the body... | 0:22:39 | 0:22:43 | |
..of the world's most irritating dog! | 0:22:43 | 0:22:46 | |
DOG WHINES | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
Whilst Mu controls the Queen. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
Commence the invasion of all countries. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:56 | |
Of course, you could get armies | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
to defend your precious countries if you like! | 0:22:59 | 0:23:02 | |
But you're asleep, so you won't! | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
Excellent! Muhahaha! Look at them all, sleeping like babies. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:11 | |
Don't even have to sing them a lullaby. Muhahaha! | 0:23:11 | 0:23:16 | |
I'm an evil genius! | 0:23:16 | 0:23:18 | |
I'm an evil genius! | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
CHUCKLES AND SIGHS | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
DOG MOANS | 0:23:23 | 0:23:25 | |
Well, I've got to get out of here. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
But how? | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
DOG MOANS | 0:23:31 | 0:23:34 | |
Sounds like...someone's going to be sick! | 0:23:34 | 0:23:38 | |
OK, I'm ready now. Go over there. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
Stay well away from me. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:55 | |
THINKING: There's got to be a way of getting Mu out of her body. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
Make sure I look nice. I'm very beautiful woman. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:02 | |
OK. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
I don't see how I can get in. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:08 | |
No, it's a breath spray. Use it wisely. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:12 | |
Yeah, thanks, future me(!) | 0:24:12 | 0:24:15 | |
It's not like I'm going to be kiss...ing...any...one. | 0:24:15 | 0:24:19 | |
My people, | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
we are about to witness a historic occasion. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:25 | |
Oh, no. No, I can't do it. | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
I, the Queen, am about to invade every country on the Earth... | 0:24:28 | 0:24:35 | |
Come on, think! There's got to be another way. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:38 | |
...making me the ruler of the entire planet. | 0:24:38 | 0:24:41 | |
There isn't, is there? | 0:24:44 | 0:24:47 | |
Now, think of a way to get past those guards. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:50 | |
SHE CACKLES | 0:24:50 | 0:24:52 | |
How many guards does it take to change a light bulb? | 0:24:52 | 0:24:55 | |
Loads, because all guards are idiots. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:59 | |
Seize him! | 0:24:59 | 0:25:01 | |
# What comes out in the wash when Mu goes in? | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
# A little fellow with an evil grin And a nasty plan | 0:25:07 | 0:25:11 | |
# He'll get inside you or beneath your skin | 0:25:11 | 0:25:14 | |
# It's a deadly sin from a deadly man | 0:25:14 | 0:25:18 | |
# God save the Queen Oh, who will save the Queen? | 0:25:18 | 0:25:23 | |
# Now she's controlled by Mu | 0:25:23 | 0:25:26 | |
# What are you going to do Now your Queen is Mu? # | 0:25:26 | 0:25:31 | |
You fools! | 0:25:31 | 0:25:34 | |
Within the hour, all of my armies | 0:25:34 | 0:25:36 | |
will have invaded every country in the world. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:39 | |
Oh, at last, the final speck of the universe | 0:25:39 | 0:25:43 | |
that has eluded me will be under my control! | 0:25:43 | 0:25:48 | |
LIPS SQUEAK | 0:25:48 | 0:25:50 | |
What...? No! | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
LIPS SQUEAK | 0:25:53 | 0:25:54 | |
No! | 0:25:54 | 0:25:55 | |
No! No...! Oh...! | 0:25:56 | 0:26:01 | |
How dare you! | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
Gr-r-r! | 0:26:09 | 0:26:10 | |
Erm... | 0:26:12 | 0:26:13 | |
Stop that man! | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
MUSIC: "Ooh La La" by Goldfrapp | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
I'm the Queen! | 0:26:27 | 0:26:29 | |
I'm the Queen! I'm the Queen! I am the Que...! | 0:26:29 | 0:26:33 | |
Steve, what are you doing? | 0:26:33 | 0:26:36 | |
Steve! The rewind button! | 0:26:43 | 0:26:45 | |
DRAMATIC MUSIC | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
No-o-o-o! | 0:26:57 | 0:27:00 | |
Ye-e-e-s! | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
-MUSIC STOPS -Oh, grow up! | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
No! | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
FAST REWIND No! | 0:27:13 | 0:27:14 | |
How dare you! | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
Oh, not the little yappy dog! | 0:27:20 | 0:27:22 | |
-Oh, dear me! -Idiot. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
QUEEN BURPS | 0:27:26 | 0:27:27 | |
Everybody relax - I'm here. | 0:27:29 | 0:27:31 | |
Ah, well! I'm definitely going to beat him tomorrow! | 0:27:34 | 0:27:38 | |
Or is that today? | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
# A deadly sin from a deadly man | 0:27:40 | 0:27:43 | |
# God save the Queen Oh, who will save the Queen? | 0:27:43 | 0:27:48 | |
# Now she's controlled by Mu | 0:27:48 | 0:27:51 | |
# What are you going to do Now your Queen is Mu? # | 0:27:51 | 0:27:55 |