Bodorgan Jac Russell


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-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

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-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

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-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

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-# The name's Jac Russell #

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-Ah, there's nothing better

-than relaxing with a cold drink...

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-..in the hot sunshine.

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-No-one to bother me

-on this desert island.

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-Jac, Jac, Jac, you can't say that.

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-We're not on a desert island

-under the hot sunshine.

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-Where's the sea, the beach

-and that yellow ball in the sky?

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-Where's the desert island?

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-Where's the desert island?

-

-We're on Anglesey, Jac.

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-Oh, well, the people are pleasant.

-Pleasant and talented.

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-For example,

-Arfon Wyn and Elin Fflur.

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-Stick to the script, Jac.

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-This director dislikes

-working with children and animals.

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-This weekend's homework.

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-I'm staying with

-the Pryth... erch family.

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-Well,

-I'd better go and see them now.

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-"Rwan, 'sti, 'lly, cyw and ballu,"

-as they say around here.

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-"Anglesey Talent Show.

-Here tomorrow. First prize, 1,000."

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-For everyone in north Wales...

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-.."Anglesey Talent Show.

-Here tomorrow. First prize, 1,000."

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-Time to go.

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-Right. Come on everyone,

-drop everything.

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-The Anglesey Talent Show

-is being held in the village hall.

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-You can't walk in,

-expect us to drop everything...

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-..and do what you want to do.

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-OK. Hello, I'm Jac Russell.

-What do you like doing?

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-I'm Glesni and I go to drama club.

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-I'm Glesni and I go to drama club.

-

-Do you? So you like showing off!

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-Next.

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-I'm Tomos.

-I like Man Utd and folk dancing.

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-Man Utd, Schmited.

-And you like folks?!

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-What do you like doing, Elin?

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-Folk dancing.

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-We've had that answer once already.

-Try again.

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-Playing chess.

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-Chess?

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-Where are Mam and Dad?

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-Dad likes physics

-and chemistry experiments.

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-Interesting. Not!

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-And Mam?

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-And Mam?

-

-Mam's a good hairdresser.

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-Oh.

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-That might come in handy.

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-Right, here's how

-we're going to win 1,000.

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-We're going to form a band.

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-Duh-duh-duh.

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-Band practice.

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-After three.

-One, two, five... three.

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-GIBBERISH RAP

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-Yeah, cool.

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-I think we need some help.

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-Hey, we're on Anglesey. I know

-just the person who can help us.

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-Jac Russell.

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-Who are you?

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-Who? What?

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-Who are you?

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-Who are you?

-

-Dad and Mam.

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-Dad! Mam!

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-I forgive you for sending me to

-a dog orphanage when I was little.

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-Mam, Dad, I'm so happy I could howl.

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-Ooooooh!

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-We're the parents

-of Glesni, Tomos and Erin.

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-Oh, well. Go away!

-I'm waiting for someone. Whoosh!

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-Right, finally!

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-Elin Fflur.

-Singer, composer, presenter of Nodyn.

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-Get in there and don't come out

-until you've finished.

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-Finished what?

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-What do you usually do

-in the toilet? Compose a song.

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-I can't compose a song in a toilet.

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-Why not? There's enough paper

-in there to write a musical.

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-Elin's right.

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-She needs freedom to allow her mind

-to wander to a world of dreams.

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-Where did you learn

-to speak like that?

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-It's in the script.

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-It's in the script.

-

-Oh, yes. Brilliant. I wrote that.

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-I'll let you out only

-if you promise to write a song...

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-..that'll reach

-No.1 in the charts...

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-..and win

-the Anglesey Talent Show.

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-Scene 4 - Part 2. Composing a Song.

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-Right, what makes a good song

-is a good song.

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-Not - good lyrics.

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-I saw a jackdaw.

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-A safe kennel, a safe kennel.

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-# Only a dog

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-# Only a dog #

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-Stinks like a dog?

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-Stinks like a dog?

-

-Stinks like a dog.

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-No!

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-# Only you

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-# Yeah

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-# Only you #

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-I can feel it coming.

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-I think we've got it.

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-# Sitting in my cosy kennel

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-# Dreaming of you

-on the other side of the world

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-# I have only one thing

-to ask of you

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-# Fill my great void, ease my pain

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-# Only you

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-# Only you

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-# Only you

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-# Can have my heart

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-# Only you

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-# Only you

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-# Makes me happy

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-# Only you, only you #

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-Um, I think we've got it.

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-Doesn't it sound

-like that Westlife song?

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-Never heard of them.

-Have you, Fflur?

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-Never. We do have one problem,

-though - image.

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-It's time to ditch that dog suit.

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-Eh?

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-Jac Russell!

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-Scene 5 - The Salon.

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-Hello and welcome to Mam's salon.

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-Mrs Pryth... erch, or Sian...

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-..is going to help me

-give the children a makeover.

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-Glesni.

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-Glesni.

-

-Tomos.

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-Glesni.

-

-Tomos.

-

-Erin.

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-We're going to turn them

-into rock and roll stars.

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-Are you ready, Mam?

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-Are you ready, Mam?

-

-Ready!

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-Ready in Bodorgan.

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-The first customer, please.

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-Right, Erin...

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-..I think, for you,

-we'll go for the goth look.

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-That's it. Finished.

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-Right, we've finished.

-Off you go. Next.

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-What would you like, Glesni?

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-No, Sian, we're the stylists.

-We tell them what they can have.

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-I think rock chick

-with some punk influences.

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-I can't do a thing with this hair.

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-I have an idea. Look behind you.

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-Argh!

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-Ho-ho. Well, that works.

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-Right. Go on, skedaddle.

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-No time for another makeover.

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-Here's one I prepared earlier.

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-Wow. Whisht!

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-Well, we're done.

-That worked, didn't it, Mam?

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-Right, cut there.

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-Cut... Cut!

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-Jac Russell,

-the competition. Take One.

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-Argh, hooh, argh!

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-Oooh!

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-Here we are,

-Jac Russell and the Avocados...

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-..outside the village hall

-in Bodorgan.

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-The Anglesey Talent Show

-is being held here.

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-Listen carefully.

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-Next, Catrin Davies

-and her faithful friend, Floss.

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-What next? Dancing with a dog!

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-Where's Elin? Where's Elin?

-She's late. Where's Miss Fflur?

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-We're on soon. Where's Miss Fflur?

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-I'll take her place

-if she doesn't turn up.

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-Very funny!

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-# Only you, only you

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-# Only you

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-# Can have my heart #

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-She's performing without us.

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-Look what she's wearing.

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-JAC SQUEALS

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-We can't show behind this door

-because very few people are there.

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-We play a soundtrack to make

-you think it's packed in there.

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-We can make a noise like this

-or like this or like this.

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-Or like this.

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-I didn't know

-there were elephants on Anglesey.

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-Anyway, back to the stage.

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-APPLAUSE

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-Our most popular contestant, without

-a shadow of doubt, is Elin Fflur.

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-Full marks - 10/10. Amazing!

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-Let's go backstage to see what

-Elin Fflur has to say about this.

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-Thank you.

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-Whoo-hoo! Look, I'm...

-I've forgotten my lines.

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-I'm stupid?

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-Take 2.

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-Look, I've won.

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-That's not fair.

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-Fair shmair. I'm rich.

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-You... stole my song, my image...

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-..you u-u-u-used me.

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-Boo-hoo. I saw an opportunity

-and I grabbed it.

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-That's showbiz, Jac.

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-No, Elin Fflur. That's not showbiz!

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-You have loa...

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-Who's thick now then?

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-Take 3.

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-Take 3.

-

-That's not showbiz, Elin Fflur.

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-You have a lot to learn

-and your first lesson starts...

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-..as soon as I phone...

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-Talk to the hand, mongrel,

-because the face isn't listening.

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-You have a lot to learn

-and your first lesson starts now.

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-Pooh!

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-What's the police's number?

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-What's the police's number?

-

-999.

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-I know that but in which order?

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-I'll start with 9...

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-Hello. I've found a dog

-outside Bodorgan village hall.

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-No, she's a stray.

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-Come and get her now. Lock her up

-and whatever else you do to dogs.

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-Goodbye. Love you.

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-Mwah-hah-hah-hah-hah.

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-We have to laugh

-for a long time now...

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-..to prepare for the next scene.

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-LAUGHTER

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-LAUGHTER FADES

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-Jac Russell.

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-You're trying to tell me

-that you're not a dog?

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-I'm Elin Fflur, the singer.

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-You've caught the fierce dog.

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-He's the dog.

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-A dog wearing a suit?

-I don't think so.

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-He doesn't look like a dog.

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-He doesn't look like a dog.

-

-Dad's such a good actor.

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-Not my dad, the children's dad.

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-There's only one way to prove this.

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-How? See who can play the drums?

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-We'll see who doesn't

-chase these drumsticks.

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-They're McFly's drummer's

-drumsticks. He kissed them.

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-Don't run, Jac.

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-I'll try my best, Tomos.

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-For Wales, for the language,

-for now and ever more.

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-After three - one, two, three.

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-Well done, kids.

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-Ha ha ha! She's the dog.

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-Or mongrel, should I say.

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-That doesn't count.

-Do it again, best of three.

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-Once again. Is that OK, Mr...?

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-Mr Jac. Mr Jac...

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-Mr Jac Main Entrance.

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-After three.

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-After three.

-

-One, two, three.

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-Yeah!

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-Come for walkies with me.

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-I'm Elin Fflur.

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-# There's something about you... #

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-# Don't close the door on me #

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-There's nothing worse

-than a dog that thinks it can sing.

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-Jac, look.

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-I think Jac...

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-I think Jac...

-

-And the Avocados.

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-..and the Avocados will have

-to keep this safe for Elin Fflur.

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-Right, it's our turn to sing.

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-Which song?

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-Only the best song...

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-..in the w-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o...

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-..o-o-o-o-orld!

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-# Who's the cutest dog in the world?

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-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

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-# A ball of fluff that's always fun

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-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

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-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

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-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

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-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

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-# The name's Jac Russell,

-tra-la-la-la-la-la

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-# He's such a bundle of fun

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-# When he rolls over,

-scratch his belly

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-# His name is Jac

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-# He leaves a gift when he's angry

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-# Who's the cutest dog in the world?

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-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

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-# A ball of fluff that's always fun

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-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

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-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

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-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

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-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

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-# The name's Jac Russell,

-tra-la-la-la-la-la #

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-Well, Yellow Teddy, the Avocados

-went from strength to strength.

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-Unfortunately,

-I had to return to the school.

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-What? What happened to Elin Fflur?

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-I don't know.

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-What? You wouldn't have minded

-competing in the show?

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-What's your talent?

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-What? The alphabet?

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-Off you go.

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-HE BURPS THE ALPHABET

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-That's enough, Yellow Teddy.

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-S4C Subtitles by Simian 04 Cyf.

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