Bodorgan Jac Russell

-888

-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

-# The name's Jac Russell #

-Ah, there's nothing better

-than relaxing with a cold drink...

-..in the hot sunshine.

-No-one to bother me

-on this desert island.

-Jac, Jac, Jac, you can't say that.

-We're not on a desert island

-under the hot sunshine.

-Where's the sea, the beach

-and that yellow ball in the sky?

-Where's the desert island?

-Where's the desert island?

-

-We're on Anglesey, Jac.

-Oh, well, the people are pleasant.

-Pleasant and talented.

-For example,

-Arfon Wyn and Elin Fflur.

-Stick to the script, Jac.

-This director dislikes

-working with children and animals.

-This weekend's homework.

-I'm staying with

-the Pryth... erch family.

-Well,

-I'd better go and see them now.

-"Rwan, 'sti, 'lly, cyw and ballu,"

-as they say around here.

-"Anglesey Talent Show.

-Here tomorrow. First prize, 1,000."

-For everyone in north Wales...

-.."Anglesey Talent Show.

-Here tomorrow. First prize, 1,000."

-Time to go.

-Right. Come on everyone,

-drop everything.

-The Anglesey Talent Show

-is being held in the village hall.

-You can't walk in,

-expect us to drop everything...

-..and do what you want to do.

-OK. Hello, I'm Jac Russell.

-What do you like doing?

-I'm Glesni and I go to drama club.

-I'm Glesni and I go to drama club.

-

-Do you? So you like showing off!

-Next.

-I'm Tomos.

-I like Man Utd and folk dancing.

-Man Utd, Schmited.

-And you like folks?!

-What do you like doing, Elin?

-Folk dancing.

-We've had that answer once already.

-Try again.

-Playing chess.

-Chess?

-Where are Mam and Dad?

-Dad likes physics

-and chemistry experiments.

-Interesting. Not!

-And Mam?

-And Mam?

-

-Mam's a good hairdresser.

-Oh.

-That might come in handy.

-Right, here's how

-we're going to win 1,000.

-We're going to form a band.

-Duh-duh-duh.

-Band practice.

-After three.

-One, two, five... three.

-GIBBERISH RAP

-Yeah, cool.

-I think we need some help.

-Hey, we're on Anglesey. I know

-just the person who can help us.

-Jac Russell.

-Who are you?

-Who? What?

-Who are you?

-Who are you?

-

-Dad and Mam.

-Dad! Mam!

-I forgive you for sending me to

-a dog orphanage when I was little.

-Mam, Dad, I'm so happy I could howl.

-Ooooooh!

-We're the parents

-of Glesni, Tomos and Erin.

-Oh, well. Go away!

-I'm waiting for someone. Whoosh!

-Right, finally!

-Elin Fflur.

-Singer, composer, presenter of Nodyn.

-Get in there and don't come out

-until you've finished.

-Finished what?

-What do you usually do

-in the toilet? Compose a song.

-I can't compose a song in a toilet.

-Why not? There's enough paper

-in there to write a musical.

-Elin's right.

-She needs freedom to allow her mind

-to wander to a world of dreams.

-Where did you learn

-to speak like that?

-It's in the script.

-It's in the script.

-

-Oh, yes. Brilliant. I wrote that.

-I'll let you out only

-if you promise to write a song...

-..that'll reach

-No.1 in the charts...

-..and win

-the Anglesey Talent Show.

-Scene 4 - Part 2. Composing a Song.

-Right, what makes a good song

-is a good song.

-Not - good lyrics.

-I saw a jackdaw.

-A safe kennel, a safe kennel.

-# Only a dog

-# Only a dog #

-Stinks like a dog?

-Stinks like a dog?

-

-Stinks like a dog.

-No!

-# Only you

-# Yeah

-# Only you #

-I can feel it coming.

-I think we've got it.

-# Sitting in my cosy kennel

-# Dreaming of you

-on the other side of the world

-# I have only one thing

-to ask of you

-# Fill my great void, ease my pain

-# Only you

-# Only you

-# Only you

-# Can have my heart

-# Only you

-# Only you

-# Makes me happy

-# Only you, only you #

-Um, I think we've got it.

-Doesn't it sound

-like that Westlife song?

-Never heard of them.

-Have you, Fflur?

-Never. We do have one problem,

-though - image.

-It's time to ditch that dog suit.

-Eh?

-Jac Russell!

-Scene 5 - The Salon.

-Hello and welcome to Mam's salon.

-Mrs Pryth... erch, or Sian...

-..is going to help me

-give the children a makeover.

-Glesni.

-Glesni.

-

-Tomos.

-Glesni.

-

-Tomos.

-

-Erin.

-We're going to turn them

-into rock and roll stars.

-Are you ready, Mam?

-Are you ready, Mam?

-

-Ready!

-Ready in Bodorgan.

-The first customer, please.

-Right, Erin...

-..I think, for you,

-we'll go for the goth look.

-That's it. Finished.

-Right, we've finished.

-Off you go. Next.

-What would you like, Glesni?

-No, Sian, we're the stylists.

-We tell them what they can have.

-I think rock chick

-with some punk influences.

-I can't do a thing with this hair.

-I have an idea. Look behind you.

-Argh!

-Ho-ho. Well, that works.

-Right. Go on, skedaddle.

-No time for another makeover.

-Here's one I prepared earlier.

-Wow. Whisht!

-Well, we're done.

-That worked, didn't it, Mam?

-Right, cut there.

-Cut... Cut!

-Jac Russell,

-the competition. Take One.

-Argh, hooh, argh!

-Oooh!

-Here we are,

-Jac Russell and the Avocados...

-..outside the village hall

-in Bodorgan.

-The Anglesey Talent Show

-is being held here.

-Listen carefully.

-Next, Catrin Davies

-and her faithful friend, Floss.

-What next? Dancing with a dog!

-Where's Elin? Where's Elin?

-She's late. Where's Miss Fflur?

-We're on soon. Where's Miss Fflur?

-I'll take her place

-if she doesn't turn up.

-Very funny!

-# Only you, only you

-# Only you

-# Can have my heart #

-She's performing without us.

-Look what she's wearing.

-JAC SQUEALS

-We can't show behind this door

-because very few people are there.

-We play a soundtrack to make

-you think it's packed in there.

-We can make a noise like this

-or like this or like this.

-Or like this.

-I didn't know

-there were elephants on Anglesey.

-Anyway, back to the stage.

-APPLAUSE

-Our most popular contestant, without

-a shadow of doubt, is Elin Fflur.

-Full marks - 10/10. Amazing!

-Let's go backstage to see what

-Elin Fflur has to say about this.

-Thank you.

-Whoo-hoo! Look, I'm...

-I've forgotten my lines.

-I'm stupid?

-Take 2.

-Look, I've won.

-That's not fair.

-Fair shmair. I'm rich.

-You... stole my song, my image...

-..you u-u-u-used me.

-Boo-hoo. I saw an opportunity

-and I grabbed it.

-That's showbiz, Jac.

-No, Elin Fflur. That's not showbiz!

-You have loa...

-Who's thick now then?

-Take 3.

-Take 3.

-

-That's not showbiz, Elin Fflur.

-You have a lot to learn

-and your first lesson starts...

-..as soon as I phone...

-Talk to the hand, mongrel,

-because the face isn't listening.

-You have a lot to learn

-and your first lesson starts now.

-Pooh!

-What's the police's number?

-What's the police's number?

-

-999.

-I know that but in which order?

-I'll start with 9...

-Hello. I've found a dog

-outside Bodorgan village hall.

-No, she's a stray.

-Come and get her now. Lock her up

-and whatever else you do to dogs.

-Goodbye. Love you.

-Mwah-hah-hah-hah-hah.

-We have to laugh

-for a long time now...

-..to prepare for the next scene.

-LAUGHTER

-LAUGHTER FADES

-Jac Russell.

-You're trying to tell me

-that you're not a dog?

-I'm Elin Fflur, the singer.

-You've caught the fierce dog.

-He's the dog.

-A dog wearing a suit?

-I don't think so.

-He doesn't look like a dog.

-He doesn't look like a dog.

-

-Dad's such a good actor.

-Not my dad, the children's dad.

-There's only one way to prove this.

-How? See who can play the drums?

-We'll see who doesn't

-chase these drumsticks.

-They're McFly's drummer's

-drumsticks. He kissed them.

-Don't run, Jac.

-I'll try my best, Tomos.

-For Wales, for the language,

-for now and ever more.

-After three - one, two, three.

-Well done, kids.

-Ha ha ha! She's the dog.

-Or mongrel, should I say.

-That doesn't count.

-Do it again, best of three.

-Once again. Is that OK, Mr...?

-Mr Jac. Mr Jac...

-Mr Jac Main Entrance.

-After three.

-After three.

-

-One, two, three.

-Yeah!

-Come for walkies with me.

-I'm Elin Fflur.

-# There's something about you... #

-# Don't close the door on me #

-There's nothing worse

-than a dog that thinks it can sing.

-Jac, look.

-I think Jac...

-I think Jac...

-

-And the Avocados.

-..and the Avocados will have

-to keep this safe for Elin Fflur.

-Right, it's our turn to sing.

-Which song?

-Only the best song...

-..in the w-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o...

-..o-o-o-o-orld!

-# Who's the cutest dog in the world?

-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

-# A ball of fluff that's always fun

-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

-# The name's Jac Russell,

-tra-la-la-la-la-la

-# He's such a bundle of fun

-# When he rolls over,

-scratch his belly

-# His name is Jac

-# He leaves a gift when he's angry

-# Who's the cutest dog in the world?

-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

-# A ball of fluff that's always fun

-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

-# The name's Jac Russell,

-tra-la-la-la-la-la #

-Well, Yellow Teddy, the Avocados

-went from strength to strength.

-Unfortunately,

-I had to return to the school.

-What? What happened to Elin Fflur?

-I don't know.

-What? You wouldn't have minded

-competing in the show?

-What's your talent?

-What? The alphabet?

-Off you go.

-HE BURPS THE ALPHABET

-That's enough, Yellow Teddy.

-S4C Subtitles by Simian 04 Cyf.

-.