Pwllheli Jac Russell

-888

-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

-# The name's Jac Russell #

-I'm staying with the Owens family

-this weekend.

-I'm the first up this morning.

-Like me, they're lazy

-and like to relax on the weekend.

-Great.

-Excuse me.

-It's time to collect the post.

-Woof, woof, woof, woof.

-Saves me shredding them!

-BELL

-Newspaper.

-Sorry, sorry. Just doing my job.

-A tip.

-Let go next time. Shoo!

-Whishgit, sgit, sgit,

-skedaddle, wallaboo!

-I thought you

-were still upstairs sleeping.

-I don't think so.

-We're not lazy on weekends.

-We like fresh air and keeping fit.

-We like fresh air and keeping fit.

-

-We're going cycling later.

-It's Saturday.

-What about the TV and the sofa?

-The TV and the sofa!

-THEY LAUGH

-They don't act as well

-as last week's family.

-Jac Russell, Scene 2.

-Ah, ooh, eeh, ooh, Owens!

-Hey, you! Does your weight

-lift your weights?

-Capten Corff has the answer

-for you in this new DVD.

-Come on, what do you have to lose?

-Only a few kilos!

-Ring this number

-and purchase your copy.

-0123401234. Buy it now.

-Do these moves with me,

-Capten Corff.

-1, 2, 3, to the left.

-I don't think so.

-Come on, Jac, we're going

-to cycle down to the beach.

-I'm going to Coronation Street.

-Omnibus! See you later.

-If you're passing a shop,

-the remote needs batteries.

-I'm OK for an hour. Then, I'll

-want to change the channel.

-Skedaddle, whish-whish.

-Jac's not coming.

-Dogs love running along the beach.

-Not this one.

-If you're passing a chip shop,

-a bag of chips would be nice.

-And a sausage roll.

-No, a pastie.

-Chicken. No, pie and gravy.

-Yes, that's the one.

-What are we going to do?

-He needs a kick up the backside.

-He needs to be taught a lesson,

-and I know just the boy.

-That bloke on the telly,

-Capten Corff.

-"I lost 53 stone after

-following his exercises."

-Capten Corff it is!

-Hey, what's this?

-Lying on the sofa all day?

-Don't be a couch potato.

-Don't be a lump of lounge lard.

-Don't be a dozy dog.

-Don't use so much alliteration.

-Right. Well, Jac,

-when did you last see your feet?

-Just then. And they're paws.

-Yay!

-Right, it's time to warm up.

-Two paces to the left...

-HE BREAKS WIND

-And... grapevine.

-Who on earth are you? And don't

-stand in front of the telly!

-You're the fitness fool

-on the telly.

-Capten Corff.

-I'm your personal trainer.

-The Owens family sent me a letter.

-They said they had a lazy dog

-in the house.

-I'm Capten Corff.

-It's a good name - you have

-more body than most people!

-Right.

-A dog should be out in the open air.

-Follow me.

-No, my favourite programme is on.

-Scooby-dooby-doo!

-Action.

-Today, we're down

-on the beach. Whoa!

-Plenty of fresh air. Breathe in.

-Take 2.

-Today, we're down on the beach.

-Today, we're down on the beach.

-Take 4.

-Take 4.

-

-Today, we're down on the beach.

-Unfortunately, Mr Director...

-..there's a sign there

-that says no dogs on the beach.

-I'm off to get an ice cream.

-Training Session 1

-Exercise doesn't have to be boring.

-The Owens family will prove it.

-Who are you and what are you doing?

-I'm Deio,

-and I'm building sandcastles.

-Building sandcastles.

-Come on, everyone.

-Building sandcastles. Yeah, great.

-On we go. Who are you, how old

-are you and what are you doing?

-I'm Dad. I'm 42.

-I'm here to look for scallops.

-Looking for scallops.

-Come with me to look for scallops.

-Looking for scallops in the sea!

-looking for scallops in the sea!

-Place them in the bucket!

-On we go.

-Who are you, how old are you

-and what are you doing?

-I'm Mam. Don't be so nosey!

-Row! On we go.

-Who are you, what are you doing

-and how old are you?

-I'm Undeg, I'm ten and I'm...

-'Un deg' is ten.

-You're the same age as your name.

-That's just so silly.

-No, Undeg is my name,

-and I'm ten years old.

-Oh, I see.

-You're writing your name

-in the sand? Whoo, great.

-Write your names in the sand!

-Write your names in the sand!

-I have a better idea.

-When a dog has to go, it has to go.

-Jac, stop it.

-You can't go to the toilet here.

-Why? Children always wee in the sea.

-You can't.

-There's nothing else for it. Cafe.

-Cafe?

-Scene 6. Action.

-HE BELCHES

-Waitress, waitress.

-There was a hair in my food.

-It looks like dog hair to me.

-It does.

-I take it I won't be paying

-for that food.

-OK.

-Ah, you. I don't remember your name.

-Don't tell me.

-Draught. No, Wind.

-Awel.

-Awel.

-

-Arwel, yes. Sit down.

-Have you had enough exercising

-for one day?

-Capten Corff, indeed.

-He's just one big lump!

-Would you like something to eat?

-I don't have any money.

-I don't have any money.

-

-You don't need any. Watch this.

-Waitress, waitress!

-Yes?

-My friend, Arwel...

-..it's his birthday

-and everyone's forgotten.

-No cards, no gifts, nothing.

-Nothing, nothing, nothing.

-If he could have a slice of birthday

-cake, it would make his day.

-How old are you?

-Eight. Ten. Eighty!

-Two slices would be fantastic.

-I don't want to appear cruel,

-but you look like a girl.

-I am a girl.

-Arwel - a strange name for a girl.

-Oh.

-# Happy birthday to you

-# Happy birthday to you

-# Happy birthday to Arwel

-# Happy birthday to you! #

-Did you see a man in the background

-doing a cartwheel like this?

-Yes? Be careful,

-don't do this at home.

-Especially if you're like him -

-overweight!

-Stay safe.

-Eat up. It's free.

-Whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo.

-I'll have to arrest you

-for being in possession of a cake.

-Put the cakes down,

-put your hands up...

-..and come quietly.

-What now?

-What now?

-

-I have to punish you for this.

-It's only a small bowl.

-A small bowl?

-It's a tenpin bowl!

-Tenpin bowl! I like that link.

-It's really good.

-Did you like that?

-Jac Russell!

-We had fun on the beach.

-Whoa. And now for something

-completely different.

-Can you guess what it is?

-Tenpin bowling.

-You told us in the cafe.

-Tenpin bowling. Whoa, great.

-Right. Pick your bowls up, everyone.

-Pick your bowl up

-and put the bowl down.

-Pick your bowl up

-and put the bowl down.

-Why do we have to do

-these exercises?

-It's fun.

-Gethin, I've had an idea.

-GLUE

-I bet you don't have a strike

-this time.

-Oh, Gethin, what did you say?

-I bet you don't have a strike

-this time.

-Who me? Capten Corff.

-We'll see about that.

-Give it everything you've got!

-I sure will.

-Strike!

-Action!

-I don't know what happened.

-I couldn't let go.

-What a pity.

-No more exercising today.

-Rest is best.

-What? Rest?

-Rest? No!

-We're off to town.

-Shopping?

-Yay!

-Shopping? No.

-We're going to show everyone

-in Pwllheli how to keep fit.

-Whoo, yeah.

-Are you with me, the Owens family?

-Are you with me, the Owens family?

-

-No.

-I never thought I'd say this, but

-I can't wait to go back to school!

-Right. People of Pwllheli.

-Are you ready for a fresh start?

-A new body.

-Join me, Capten Corff.

-After three... one, two, three!

-Capten Corff.

-I've had enough of this.

-I know a far better tune.

-# Who's the cutest dog in the world?

-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

-# A ball of fluff that's always fun

-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

-# The name's Jac Russell,

-tra-la-la-la-la-la

-# He's such a bundle of fun

-# When he rolls over,

-scratch his belly

-# His name is Jac

-# He leaves a gift when he's angry

-# Who's the cutest dog in the world?

-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

-# A ball of fluff that's always fun

-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

-# The name's Jac Russell,

-tra-la-la-la-la-la #

-Well done, Jac. You're not

-such a lazy dog after all.

-You're really cool.

-PHONE RINGS

-It's mine.

-Carry on.

-Not that one.

-I was wondering

-what you were hiding in that bag.

-There you go.

-What are you doing in there?

-What are you doing in there?

-

-Daily Post?

-No, thanks. Skedaddle.

-Hello.

-What? No.

-Yeah?

-No.

-Yeah. No.

-Wrong number!

-How did you get rid of Capten Corff?

-How did you get rid of Capten Corff?

-

-It was easy.

-You know how dogs like to be

-out in the open air, running around.

-Well, we swapped.

-What do you mean?

-Look.

-He can do exercises in the open air

-morning, noon and night from now on.

-You've dropped a pound.

-You've dropped a pound.

-

-Where? A pound?

-Yes, I did.

-LEOTARD RIPS

-Cut!

-Does anyone have a spare Lycra suit?

-Oh, oh, Betty!

-Jac Russell!

-Yellow Teddy,

-I've brought you a gift.

-Capten Corff's DVD.

-Is it good? No!

-Throw it away? OK.

-This weekend

-has reminded me of a joke.

-What lives in the sea and carries

-people from place to place?

-An octo-bus.

-Why is sand wet?

-Because the sea wee'd.

-Seaweed!

-Do you get it?

-Seaweed. Sea wee'd!

-S4C Subtitles by Simian 04 Cyf.