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-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

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-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

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-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

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-# The name's Jac Russell #

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-You're so lucky, Jac, staying with

-a different family every weekend.

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-I'm an important part

-of your education, Mair.

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-I hope you're taking

-this task seriously.

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-Seriously?

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-That's what your teacher thinks.

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-HE FARTS

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-Do you have satellite TV?

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-You'll be too busy

-working on the farm.

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-You'll also be running

-the Bed & Breakfast.

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-Do you know who I am?

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-# Who's the cutest dog in the world?

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-# Jac Russell, Jac Russell

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-# Jac. Jac. A dog, not a cat

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-# A friend of yours

-and a friend of mine

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-# Jac. Jac. A good little boy

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-# The name's Jac Russell,

-tra-la-la-la-la-la #

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-I'm alright.

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-How many brothers and sisters

-do you have?

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-Four.

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-Four.

-

-Super-pooper-dooper-scooper.

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-Where are your brothers?

-Boys have better toys.

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-I don't have any brothers.

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-Four sisters?

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-Whoa. Farm. B&B. Five girls.

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-Sounds like all the ingredients

-for a real drama.

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-The Bowns.

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-Bones! Get it?

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-Bones!

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-Hi, Mam. I've brought my homework

-home with me.

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-Jac Russell.

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-Hey.

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-Hey, this is going to be

-a weekend and a half.

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-I'm a handful,

-but this comes with its own baggage!

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-Where are the rest of the family?

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-Here they are.

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-Who are these? Girls Alouder!

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-We're the Bowns!

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-Shush, girls. The phone is ringing.

-I wonder who's there?

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-Eh?

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-The phone is ringing!

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-Eh?

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-Phone ringing.

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-PHONE RINGS

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-Hello. Yeah.

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-Yeah. Yeah.

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-Yeah. OK.

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-And they say young people

-can't communicate these days.

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-Who was on the phone?

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-Who was on the phone?

-

-Someone wanting a room tonight.

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-Jemma Wobblington.

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-Jemma Wobblington!

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-JAC BARKS

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-Dyl!

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-Sinister music, please.

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-MEXICAN MUSIC

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-I pressed the wrong button.

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-I'll press the wrong button

-in a minute!

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-Whoo.

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-Are you OK?

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-Are you OK?

-

-Do I look OK?

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-Yes, I'm fine, little girl.

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-Cute!

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-Emma Worth... Jemma Wobblington.

-I've booked a room here.

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-SINISTER MUSIC

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-That's better.

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-Jac Russell.

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-Yes. Emma.

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-What do you mean, Emma Who?

-Emma Worthington.

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-The owner of that horrible hotel

-where you live, you idiot.

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-Everything's going to plan.

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-Towel.

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-Towel.

-

-Thank you. Thank you very much.

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-No wonder this place

-takes our business...

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-Shampoo.

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-Thank you.

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-Shower cap.

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-Shower cap.

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-Once I've finished,

-no-one will want to stay here.

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-Sewing kit.

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-Do you mind?

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-I'm trying to reveal the plot.

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-I have a fiendish plan

-to close down this hotel...

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-..and very little time to do so!

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-Yeah.

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-I'm sorry.

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-As I was saying, once I've finished,

-no-one will want to stay here.

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-Their customers will be looking

-for somewhere else to stay.

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-Well, our hotel, you idiot.

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-Oh, yeah, before long,

-Hotel Eddie will be very busy.

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-Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah.

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-Mwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah.

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-Spooky music, please.

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-Mwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah.

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-Adverts

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-Isn't it nice just relaxing

-after a hard day at work?

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-A time to sit down

-and enjoy the peace and quiet.

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-That is, until you're surrounded

-by the girls in your life.

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-Pink, perfume, soap operas,

-pink fluffy bunnies...

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-..endless questions,

-fluff and more pink things.

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-Stop!

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-Are you fed up with all

-the girly chat and arguments?

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-What you need is a...

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-A Merch O 'Ma (Girls Away) pack.

-It'll get rid of the girls.

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-This, and these for the ears,

-will get rid of the girls.

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-If this cushion

-doesn't get rid of them...

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-FART NOISE

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-Dance, Dad.

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-# Achy Break Heart #

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-No-one likes watching dads dancing!

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-Jac Russell.

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-Mam, Jemma Wobblington

-wants a full breakfast.

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-I only have one pair of paws.

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-These are nice. Sausages.

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-Sausages!

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-Sausages!

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-Sausages!

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-Sausages!

-

-Sausages!

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-She also wants a word with the boss.

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-I'm in the middle of...

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-Well, I'm, um... I've forgotten it.

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-I'm in the middle

-of cooking breakfast.

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-Don't worry. Leave this to me.

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-Good morning, Miss Wobblington.

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-Good for you, maybe.

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-When I booked this room, I didn't

-expect to share a bed with fleas.

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-By the way,

-why have you dressed up as a dog?

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-What?

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-Why have you dressed up as a dog?

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-I'm dressed as a dog

-because I am a dog!

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-Yeah.

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-It looks like a fancy dress costume.

-We'll see now.

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-Is that the postman?

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-JAC BARKS

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-No.

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-Well, you behave and stink

-like a dog. You are a dog.

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-I only know one other person

-who's as silly as you.

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-He has an ugly, grey face.

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-JAC HOWLS

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-What are you going to do

-about these fleas?

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-Tell them to flee!

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-Listen, I'm used to dealing with

-idiots. Don't be clever with me.

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-Go and fetch your boss.

-No, I'll go and see her myself.

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-Mrs Bown, it appears you have fleas.

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-Don't be silly. If anyone has fleas,

-it'll be the dogs.

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-Not Mrs B.

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-Sorry, boys, me and my big mouth.

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-Which one of you has fleas?

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-Come on, don't be shy.

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-You know what they say.

-Fleas only like clean fur.

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-How people still believe that,

-I'll never know.

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-Don't look at me.

-Personal hygiene is important to me.

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-It's not me. I've never had fleas.

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-Oui, oui. And I'm Scooby Doo.

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-Are you calling me a liar?

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-Are you calling me a liar?

-

-Super-pooper-dooper-scooper.

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-Talking dogs.

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-Why are you so happy?

-You might have fleas.

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-Impossible.

-I had a bath three years ago.

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-Where did these fleas come from?

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-Something stinks here.

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-And I'm not talking about us,

-the Jac Russells.

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-I won't report you this time,

-but if I see any more creatures...

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-..I'll be left with no option.

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-That includes ugly children.

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-That includes ugly children.

-

-Oh! Oh!

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-THE LITTLE HOUSE OF EMMA'S RAT

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-I'll bring your breakfast

-through now.

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-Oh! Oh! A rat.

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-No, no, no. I'm a dog.

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-You have rats where you live!

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-I saw a rat

-scurrying towards the oven.

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-Yuck!

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-This contravenes

-every health and safety regulation.

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-There we go, I'll have to

-contact the authorities.

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-DRAMATIC MUSIC

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-And cut.

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-Well done, everyone.

-Take five. Back in ten.

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-Well, hello.

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-Have we worked together before?

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-No, I don't think so.

-I'd remember that nose.

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-Are you busy?

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-Yes, yes. Plenty of work.

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-No - are you busy tonight?

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-You might like to go out for...

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-Oh. No, thanks.

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-I have a hair-ache.

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-And I'm washing my head.

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-I didn't like her anyway!

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-PHONE RINGS

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-PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

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-Hello. You want to book a room?

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-I'm so sorry,

-but we're full until the year 2100.

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-Yes, what a pity.

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-I wouldn't be too disappointed.

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-No, this place

-is overrun with fleas...

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-..and rats and the ugliest dog

-you ever saw.

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-There is another hotel,

-down the road. It's exceptional.

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-Hotel Eddie.

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-Yes. No problem whatsoever.

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-Goodbye now.

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-Ta-ta.

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-I knew there was something odd

-about her.

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-Let's tell Jac.

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-I knew there was

-something odd about her.

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-I've already said that line.

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-Oh.

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-Let's tell Jac.

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-You're Jac!

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-OK. I must have lost

-a page of my script.

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-How does this story end?

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-SHE WHISPERS

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-Abuzzisuzzisuzzis? Thank you.

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-I didn't understand a word of that.

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-HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER

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-The Adventures

-of Inspector Poo-irot

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-Three, two, one.

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-Action.

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-I've gathered everyone here,

-in this food preparation room...

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-..or, as some people call it,

-the kitchen.

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-Over the past few days...

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-..serious allegations

-have been made...

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-..by our guest, Jemma Wobblington.

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-Or, should I say...

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-..Emma Worthington...

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-HISSING AND BOOING

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-..the manageress of Hotel Eddie.

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-Hurry up, will you! I've been evil,

-you've found out about it.

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-Blah, blah, blah.

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-There are no fleas here.

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-You have make-up on your face.

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-And you let the rat loose

-in the kitchen.

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-We found this in your bag.

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-Elen and Cari saw you on the phone.

-You've had a row.

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-So...

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-Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah.

-Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah.

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-I would have got away with it...

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-..if it wasn't for you

-ugly, nosey girls!

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-I'm off.

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-You haven't paid your bill.

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-You haven't paid your bill.

-

-Pay? I don't think so.

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-Anyway, I don't have any money.

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-I'm sure we can come

-to some sort of arrangement.

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-Scene 13. Unlucky for some.

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-And action.

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-Don't you have anything

-better to do?

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-There must be something more

-interesting on CBBBBC.

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-Well, what a welcome ending.

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-But there's something missing.

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-I know.

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-Emma.

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-That's better.

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-Well, Yellow Teddy.

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-It's been a busy weekend.

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-It was a very funny drama...

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-..especially the end.

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-What?

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-What do you call a sheep...

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-..with no head or legs?

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-A cloud? Where?

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-Oh, a cloud!

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-Where?!

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-S4C Subtitles by Simian 04 Cyf.

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