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One Zillion League of Super Evil

One Zillion

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Transcript

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-What's on TV?

-Flea yak show.

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Where two yaks watch paint dry?

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-LAUGHS

-What a waste of time!

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Well, I find it very relaxing.

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You know, you've got the worst taste in TV, Red.

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Every day I walk by you have an even stupider reality TV show on!

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-Hey, it just got drier.

-Oh, it did?

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-It just got drier and you totally missed it.

-Oh, no!

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Come on. Dry, baby, dry!

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MANIACAL LAUGHTER, STOPS SUDDENLY

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He-he!

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Huh? Ahh!

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Out of my way or I shall destroy you!

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Can't we just talk about it?

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You're right, communication is always the best solution.

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Um...what's with all the stupid dolls?

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These aren't dolls. These are collectible, limited edition

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ultra-popular action figures!

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Don't you recognise them?

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Um, er... Yes, sure I do.

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He hasn't seen Captain Bubbles and the Freedom Police! Huh!

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I bet you don't even get the TV channel it's on.

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THEY ALL LAUGH

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We get the channel. We get, er...

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We get...lots of channels.

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So what channel is it?

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Um, I don't quite remember right now.

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You can't remember it's on Channel 62?

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Channel 62?!

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We don't get Channel 62.

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Yes, we do. We get all 62 channels.

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THEY LAUGH

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There's more channels than that!

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Exactly! I know that.

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I've only been testing you

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in order to see what pathetic number of channels you have.

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We have all the channels!

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One...zillion channels!

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THUNDER CLAPS, LAUGHS MANIACALLY

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It looks like it's gonna rain.

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I didn't know we had one zillion channels.

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Yes, we do! We have one zillion TV channels.

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Prove it - let's see them.

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Er, tomorrow, at dawn.

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You and your wormy little minions will bow down in awe

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when you see my one zillion channels.

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Ohh.

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THUNDER RUMBLES

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Er, this could be difficult.

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But not out of the question.

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You see, one zillion is more than an umpteen and a gazillion.

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Though not as much as a bazillion.

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It's a very difficult number to count to.

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How do we know when we have a zillion channels?

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With this!

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When the needle hits the big TV you've got a zillion channels!

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Easy!

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Oh, that's awesome, Doktor Frogg.

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But I think you inverted

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-your multi-variable diagonal matrix logarithm.

-Eh?!

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Little higher.

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Higher!

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How's that?

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A little more to the right and the picture will be ours!

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Gah! Ah!

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I need more right!

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Hi, Doomageddon!

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Aaaah!

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CRASH!

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Perfect!

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That's it.

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We only have one channel?!

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Hi, Voltar. What's on?

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It looks like two yaks watching paint dry.

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I love that show!

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I've all the action figures,

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they have kung fu hooves and realistic eye blinking action!

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What colour are they watching today?!

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In order to get to one zillion, we'll need more than one channel.

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So, this is my evil plan.

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We are going to get Steve's cable box!

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Yeah, but...

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Perfect for my newest invention, a cable box tractor beam.

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I've got a bite!

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But I've already got Steve's cable box.

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Yeah, he said I could borrow it while he's away.

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But if you have the cable box, then...

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What's on the end of my tractor beam?

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Oh!

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I didn't know we had farms around here!

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# League of super evil! #

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It's just what I feared.

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We are going to need

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a quad-band roto asamit duo synchronist TV satellite.

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I LOVE satellites!

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You see, satellites feed nations with their TV programming.

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There are billions of channels out in space,

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some say even a zillion of them

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all fed by this massive array of metal which hangs over the earth.

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If we were to capture all the satellites and modify them

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then their beams could be reversed to take over the world!

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Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

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But, we get a zillion channels too, right?

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Uh, yes, we get a zillion channels too.

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Perfect! Wah-ha-ha!

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Get me those satellites

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and I shall be victorious!

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I have just the thing.

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I've been saving this for a special occasion!

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I must fix that.

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Wow!

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Our very own rocket ship.

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That can be in orbit in 3.2 seconds!

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Stand aside, Frogg.

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I'll be hogging the outer space glory on this mission!

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Oh, OK...

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Huh?

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On second thought, Frogg, it's all yours.

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Yes!

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ENGINE PURRS

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Arrivederci, baby!

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What do I get to do?

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Stand right there.

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Whoa! Aaah...

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Ouch.

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Woo-hoo! Aaah!

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HE SCREAMS

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Please, don't!

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Aaah!

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-CAR ALARMS BEEP

-Yes! Victory shall be mine!

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Whoa! That's better than TV.

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Aaaah!

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Oh...

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Ground Control to Major Frogg...

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-How's it going up there?

-Just about to focus the first...

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OW!

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..satellite.

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You should have a signal now.

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It's working, it's working!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Total world domination will be mine!

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Mwa-ha-ha! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

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Aaah!

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D'oh!

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HE SNORES

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Hurry up, Frogg. Those snot-nosed kids'll be here soon!

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Yes! Ha-ha-ha-ha. One billion channels!

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Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

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And now that the satellites are ours, I can modify the beams

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and control the world!

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-DOORBELL RINGS

-Quick. Red.

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They're here!

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Major Frogg to Ground Control. Turn to channel 4,543

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and take the volume to maximum. The world will be ours!

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Not now, Dr Frogg. I've got snot-nosed kids

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to awe into submission.

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Voltar, are you there?!

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D'oh! I'll have to do it manually.

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Look upon my work and despair.

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Behold!

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One zillion channels!

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Ha!

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Enough! You win. You win!

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Make it stop! Make it stop!

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Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Huh?

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Yeah, I'm looking for a Voltar.

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Go ahead! Feast your eyes and bow down to me!

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Actually, I'm with the TV Satellite company.

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For a zillion channels, we're gonna need a payment in advance.

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One zillion dollars? WHAT?!

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I don't have a zillion dollars!

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Well, no zillion dollars, no zillion channels.

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Nooooo!

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Huh?!

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No! Wait! What just happened?

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Boring. I'm going home.

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Don't leave. I'll get the zillion channels back.

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Nah. Even with a zillion channels, there's still nothing to watch.

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-I'm gonna read a book.

-No!

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It's OK, Voltar. We still get the one channel.

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That's a victory, huh?

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I wonder how Frogg's gonna get home.

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Oh...I knew this was going to be too short.

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Stupid, stupid, stupid Frogg!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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