Badometer League of Super Evil


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Transcript


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Cut! Cut! Cut!

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-That was really bad.

-Good.

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-No! Bad as in terrible, bad.

-Huh?

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Behold...

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You see? Now, that was sick.

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-Sick?!

-Yeah! As in phat with a p-h.

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Wait, so your dancing is so phat, it's sick?

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YES! My stuff is so trash, it's haunted, dog...

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Waaaaa!

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-So what do you call that?

-Painful?

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HE LAUGHS EVILLY

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Huh?

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-Hee-hee.

-Uh!

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-Huh?

-Aargh!

-Oh!

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-Whoo!

-Whoo!

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'Scuse me.

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There! The velvet rope.

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We'll be first in line to meet Rock Gothlington! Oh!

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Ah-hem... Not that I care, of course.

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I don't see what all the fuss is over some no-talent rock star

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who only pretends to be evil.

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ELECTRIC GUITAR

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See what I mean?! Totally fake.

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Um, nice act(!)

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But if you want real evil, you're looking at it.

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Ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha...

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Evil? What, you lot? Ha-ha-ha!

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Well, who do you think orchestrated the great yoghurt souring

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of last summer, hmm?! It was us.

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The League Of Super Evil!

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I've never heard of you.

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I'm too busy selling gazillions of records.

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-Next!

-Pah!

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Anyone can make a record. Even we did that.

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Oh, a boy band, eh?

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Oh, that is evil(!)

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HE LAUGHS EVILLY

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HE SIGHS

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Big mistake, cupcake.

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The League Of Super Evil's department of hustle

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is about to mop the floor with you.

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-Red Menace, attack!

-Guess what!

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They're having a sale on cake mix!

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AND I found a hamster! Can I keep him? Can I? Can I? Can I?

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Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that one!

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Oh, he's about as much menace as the Easter Bunny.

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Maybe I'll do cupcakes instead.

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How dare that fire-breathing,

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black-lipstick-wearing pretender destroy a rare work of evil genius?

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Look! We're down to our last 4,000 copies!

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At least you got to meet him!

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Touch him!

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Oh, I'll never let you wash this helmet again...

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Uh, because keeping one's helmet filthy is very evil, of course.

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You know what I do whenever I get completely humiliated

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in front of a large group of people?

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I eat cupcakes.

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-Fresh baked...

-Where were you when I needed you, Red Menace?

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As a loyal minion, you're supposed to have my back.

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Perhaps this was just the inspiration I needed

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to plan the ultimate evil plan for revenge I've been planning on!

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Oh, are you talking about your revenge plan?

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Operation Revenge Plan? Version 2.3?

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Yes! Exactly!

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The League Of Super Evil

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will infiltrate the Rock Gothlington concert and...

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-Offer him cupcakes as a gesture of friendship?

-What?! No!

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I'm talking about unleashing a chaos most vile.

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That's right. We're going to sneak in there and...

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heckle him!

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That doesn't sound very nice.

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There's no room for nice in an evil revenge plan!

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Which means...you're going to have to sit this one out, Red.

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What?!

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Wha... What do you mean?! I'm GROUNDED?!

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That's right, mister. Until you start acting like a super villain.

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What... Uh... I can...I can do that!

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I mean, uh... What if I change my hair?

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Or, uh...maybe tried an accent?

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"COCKNEY" ACCENT: 'Ello, guvnor!

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I'll do anything - just give me another chance!

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Hmm, I've got just the thing...

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I call it the bad-o-meter.

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Will it hurt?

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Oh, not if you're evil. Hee-hee...

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It's designed to give you a little...reminder

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if you do anything good.

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-Huh?

-Oh, but you'll hardly feel a thing.

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And if I do something evil?

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Ha-ha! That kinda tickles!

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Like a butterfly kiss.

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It's time to put the menace back into Red Menace!

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YAY!

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Think evil, speak evil, be evil.

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I have to prove to Voltar that I'm good at this.

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Aw! You're a real cutie-pie!

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Aaargh-eee-ah!

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It's working!

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Whoa!

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Hopefully he'll either scare, jostle or,

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at the very least, insult her.

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May I walk you across, ma'am?

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Do-doo-di-do... Oh, look at me,

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I've got all these parcels. I hope no-one tries to knock them over.

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Oh, allow me to get that door, sir.

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Let me pick those...

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Ha-ha. Oh, sorry,

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sorry.

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Let me help...

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Aargh!

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CRASHING

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Must be evil.

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Must be a menace!

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Uh-oh, wet cement...

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Go on, go on!

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Write your name in it...

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He finally did something deliberately evil.

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Oh, thank you for helping me across the cement, young man.

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No problem, Mrs Johnson.

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Oh, Voltar, the concert's in two hours, and Red's still a do-gooder!

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We're just not ready.

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This thing sure wears you out.

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Look at that - I forgot to wipe my feet.

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Ah-ha-ha!

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You see that, Red? Your transformation is complete!

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You mean it?!

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This is the happiest day of my life!

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It feels good to be evil!

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-Whoa!

-Oh, pardon me.

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Must stay evil.

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If anyone asks, we'll tell them we're sweat towel boys.

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Never wash that face again!

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Be...cause...a filthy face is evil, of course...

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MUSIC STARTS UP

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Are you ready for the ultimate humiliation?

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Red Menace, initiate phase one.

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Right, phase one.

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HE LAUGHS EVILLY

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Rude ringtone. The deafening ring on that mega-phone is sure to annoy.

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PHONE RINGS

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-'Hello?'

-Red! What are you doing?!

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'You're supposed to let it ring, not answer it!'

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Sorry!

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Voltar, can I take off the bad-o-meter now?

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It's really starting to bug me.

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'Later, Red. Move on to phase two.'

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Operation laser pen!

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Are you ready to rock?

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AUDIENCE: YEAH!

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What's going on? Why don't I see an annoying red laser dot?

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Don't you know those things are dangerous?

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I brought a regular pen instead.

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'All right, fine!'

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Phase three, Red. Get into position and prepare to heckle.

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'Scuse me. Ow!

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Pardon me. Eek!

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Coming through-ow-ow-ow!

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BOO! Your lipstick's running!

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Red! I can't hear you!

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Red, I'm trying! Oh, sorry. EEK! Ah!

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Get this helmet OFF ME! AARGH!

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AARGH! AH-AH! AARGH! EEK!

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Whoo-hoo! Look at Red go! Ha-ha!

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I knew I could count on you!

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WAA! Aargh, ow! Grr, aargh! Ah!

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YES!

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Eeee-ya!

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Oh! Hey! Whoa! Did I do all this?

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You see, Red? Now THAT'S evil!

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Oh, uh...

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Sorry about the mess.

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You ruined my show.

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Mission accomplished, Fake Fakelington.

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Prepare to meet your DOOM!

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Pretty sure he's not faking that.

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AUDIENCE: Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock!

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Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock!

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Say, look at that! They love it!

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You sure know how to rip it up, mate!

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Say, how would you like to join the rest of the tour?

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We could do this bit every night, eh?

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Don't worry, I'll be back in a week. Here's my pen.

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Be sure to write!

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HE COUGHS

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Oh! I almost got to touch him!

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Oh... I'll get my revenge.

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Some way, some day, some...

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how.

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HE LAUGHS EVILLY

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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