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"Yard sale, 8am.
"No early birds." We'll need split-second timing, men.
-Let's synchronise our watches.
-I didn't say what time it is.
-I've got noon.
When I say "now", it's 11.15.
-Oh, I went with the first "now".
-You wait until...
-What time have you got?
-I've got noon.
GENTLE STOMACH RUMBLING
POWERFUL STOMACH RUMBLING
You call that a hungry stomach rumble?
Huh! Bow down to my supremacy.
I'd rather chow down with some dinner.
-Everyone, to the bunker!
-We don't have a bunker.
No, just the doorbell.
I shouldn't have made those two sound so much alike.
-Chinese food's here.
-Er, you're the guys who don't tip, right?
-The great Voltar never tips.
-I ate 50% of your food on the way over. Bwwrrp!
-Here, take 100%!
We just want these.
And now, let the secrets
of the future be ours.
RED MENACE'S STOMACH RUMBLES
"You will find something you lost."
Wow! The motor for our getaway boat!
I thought I'd never find that after the waterfall incident.
"The first person you ask will be forced to do your bidding."
Oh, so many powerful people to choose from -
world leaders, scientists, talk-show hosts... Oh! Hand me a pencil
so I can make a list.
-I am forced to do your bidding.
Maybe it's one of those where you have to jumble up the letters,
Nah, that still stinks!
Order more food. I need another fortune cookie.
"You will receive a message from above."
Hey! It says, "Greetings from outer space."
-What does yours say, Doktor Frogg?
-"A great weight
"will be lifted off your mind."
Gentlemen, it's time for action.
-We're going to the restaurant.
Why are you sending me bad fortunes?
Hmm? Why don't I get my own satellite or boat engine?
Please, take a free fortune cookie from the barrel and leave, OK?
Oh, I know your game, friend.
You probably hide all the good ones at the bottom.
-Voltar, that's the super-sticky oyster sauce.
"You will become the King of Albovia." Wow!
-I will serve my people well.
Aha! This had better be a good one.
It says, "Banana."
-I don't write 'em. We buy 'em from the factory.
I am going to write the best fortune ever,
insidiously place it inside a cookie,
and then when it's delivered to the mayor,
I will finally get the awesome fortune I deserve!
-Frogg, take a letter.
"You will get a big red fire-truck,
"a chorus line of dancing frogs will serenade you,
"a statue of a handsome pioneer will appear on your lawn..."
-Will all that fit in one cookie?
Where was I? Oh, yes! "You will create your own brand
"of snail-shaped candy..."
"..and finally, my antennae will now receive free cable." There!
The best fortune ever!
Writing claw's cramped up.
Now, remember the foolproof plan.
First, we blend in with the huge crowd of tourists.
One hour into the guided tour, we sneak away,
diabolically plant the fortune, and escape!
-Welcome to Chimpanski's Authentic Chinese Fortune Cookies.
This is where we make them.
That's where they are written. Thank you. Watch your step on the way out.
-Was there a foolproof back-up plan?
There's always a foolish back-up plan.
We are a pirate and an inconspicuous older gentleman
helping this little Swiss girl find her lost goat.
-I've looked everywhere!
-Except in there, matey!
I lost a goat once. Go ahead.
This is surprisingly sinister for a fortune cookie factory.
Admire it later, Frogg.
Right now, we need to stuff that fortune inside a cookie.
Dare I say, "Victory"?
"You will fall behind at the office and your work will pile up."
Excuse me! Have you found your goat yet?
You see, the thing is, I think the building is about to collapse.
"Sometimes it is easy
"to pass an elephant through the eye of a needle."
Um, OK, the future's written by a monkey!
I always suspected this!
He is so cute! I wish I had a pet with opposable thumbs.
RED MENACE LAUGHS
-Er, Red Menace...
If we can befriend this ape, we can control the future!
Yeah, well, this machine of his mangled my perfect fortune.
All right, listen up, fortune monkey.
I, the great Voltar, demand a top-of-the-line primate fortune!
See? You have to know how do deal with these college types.
This little monkey has been tirelessly writing out fortunes
day after day,
so that everyone who eats Chinese food
can have a bit of hope at the end of their meal.
Maybe he just wanted a little something for himself for a change,
Is that too much to ask?
-BLOWS RASPBERRY Oooh!
Never mind him. Here you go, little fella.
Any chance your friend could write us a "you will escape" fortune?
It's OK, I'm the King of Albovia and this is my monkey.
Go on, Doktor Frogg. He won't bite.
Oh! It's the fortune I'm worried about.
Oh. "You will be singled out...
"for an award!"
The Doorbell Prize For Claw Science!
This is the happiest day of my life!
OK, fine! Here you go, but it'd better be a good one!
RATTLING What's happening?
You finally got your fortune.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd