Fortune's Fools League of Super Evil
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Transcript
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|---|---|---|---|
"Yard sale, 8am. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
"No early birds." We'll need split-second timing, men. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:08 | |
-Let's synchronise our watches. -10... | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
-I didn't say what time it is. -It's 10.07. -I've got noon. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:14 | |
When I say "now", it's 11.15. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:16 | |
-Now! -Oh, I went with the first "now". -You wait until... -Look! | 0:00:16 | 0:00:21 | |
-Free! -What time have you got? -It's 10.07. | 0:00:22 | 0:00:26 | |
-I've got noon. -Oh-h! | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
EVIL CACKLING | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
GENTLE STOMACH RUMBLING | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
POWERFUL STOMACH RUMBLING | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
You call that a hungry stomach rumble? | 0:01:15 | 0:01:19 | |
Pssswwrr! | 0:01:19 | 0:01:21 | |
STOMACH RUMBLES | 0:01:23 | 0:01:24 | |
Huh! Bow down to my supremacy. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:29 | |
I'd rather chow down with some dinner. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:32 | |
-BUZZER RINGS -Assault alarm! | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
-Everyone, to the bunker! -We don't have a bunker. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:38 | |
No, just the doorbell. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:39 | |
I shouldn't have made those two sound so much alike. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
Delivery! | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
-Chinese food's here. -Oh-h! Agh! | 0:01:45 | 0:01:48 | |
-Er, you're the guys who don't tip, right? -Tip?! Huh! | 0:01:48 | 0:01:53 | |
-The great Voltar never tips. -Oh, good. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:56 | |
-I ate 50% of your food on the way over. Bwwrrp! -Here, take 100%! | 0:01:56 | 0:02:01 | |
We just want these. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:04 | |
EVIL CACKLING | 0:02:04 | 0:02:05 | |
BOTH: Oh! | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
And now, let the secrets | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
of the future be ours. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:14 | |
RED MENACE'S STOMACH RUMBLES | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
"You will find something you lost." | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
Hm! | 0:02:22 | 0:02:23 | |
Wow! The motor for our getaway boat! | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
I thought I'd never find that after the waterfall incident. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:31 | |
"The first person you ask will be forced to do your bidding." | 0:02:31 | 0:02:35 | |
Oh, so many powerful people to choose from - | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
world leaders, scientists, talk-show hosts... Oh! Hand me a pencil | 0:02:38 | 0:02:43 | |
so I can make a list. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:44 | |
-AS ROBOT: -I am forced to do your bidding. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:48 | |
Oh! | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
"Banana"?! | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
Maybe it's one of those where you have to jumble up the letters, | 0:02:56 | 0:03:00 | |
-like "nababana". -Hmm! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
Nah, that still stinks! | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
Order more food. I need another fortune cookie. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:08 | |
EVIL CACKLING | 0:03:13 | 0:03:14 | |
"You will receive a message from above." | 0:03:14 | 0:03:17 | |
DOWNWARDS WHISTLING...THUD! | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
Hey! It says, "Greetings from outer space." | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
-What does yours say, Doktor Frogg? -"A great weight | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
"will be lifted off your mind." | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
"Banana"! | 0:03:29 | 0:03:31 | |
Gentlemen, it's time for action. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:36 | |
-We're going to the restaurant. -Yeah! | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
HE MUMBLES | 0:03:40 | 0:03:41 | |
Why are you sending me bad fortunes? | 0:03:42 | 0:03:46 | |
Hmm? Why don't I get my own satellite or boat engine? | 0:03:46 | 0:03:50 | |
Please, take a free fortune cookie from the barrel and leave, OK? | 0:03:50 | 0:03:54 | |
Oh, I know your game, friend. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
You probably hide all the good ones at the bottom. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
-Eh? -Voltar, that's the super-sticky oyster sauce. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:05 | |
Eugh! | 0:04:05 | 0:04:06 | |
"You will become the King of Albovia." Wow! | 0:04:14 | 0:04:19 | |
-I will serve my people well. -Stand aside. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:23 | |
Eugh! | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
Aha! This had better be a good one. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
VOLTAR GASPS | 0:04:33 | 0:04:34 | |
It says, "Banana." | 0:04:35 | 0:04:39 | |
-I don't write 'em. We buy 'em from the factory. -Oooh! | 0:04:39 | 0:04:43 | |
Factory, eh? | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
EVIL CACKLING | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
I am going to write the best fortune ever, | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
insidiously place it inside a cookie, | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
and then when it's delivered to the mayor, | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
I will finally get the awesome fortune I deserve! | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
-Frogg, take a letter. -Oh-h! | 0:05:00 | 0:05:04 | |
"You will get a big red fire-truck, | 0:05:04 | 0:05:09 | |
"a chorus line of dancing frogs will serenade you, | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
"a statue of a handsome pioneer will appear on your lawn..." | 0:05:12 | 0:05:16 | |
-Will all that fit in one cookie? -Er...ha-ha-ha! | 0:05:16 | 0:05:20 | |
Where was I? Oh, yes! "You will create your own brand | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
"of snail-shaped candy..." | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
"..and finally, my antennae will now receive free cable." There! | 0:05:28 | 0:05:34 | |
The best fortune ever! | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
Writing claw's cramped up. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
Now, remember the foolproof plan. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:45 | |
First, we blend in with the huge crowd of tourists. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:49 | |
One hour into the guided tour, we sneak away, | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
diabolically plant the fortune, and escape! | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
Good afternoon. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:58 | |
-Welcome to Chimpanski's Authentic Chinese Fortune Cookies. -Ha! -Yummy! | 0:05:58 | 0:06:04 | |
This is where we make them. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
That's where they are written. Thank you. Watch your step on the way out. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:11 | |
PEOPLE MURMUR | 0:06:11 | 0:06:12 | |
-Was there a foolproof back-up plan? -Red! | 0:06:12 | 0:06:16 | |
There's always a foolish back-up plan. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:20 | |
SNORING | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
Oh, hello! | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
We are a pirate and an inconspicuous older gentleman | 0:06:29 | 0:06:35 | |
helping this little Swiss girl find her lost goat. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:40 | |
-I've looked everywhere! -Except in there, matey! | 0:06:40 | 0:06:44 | |
I lost a goat once. Go ahead. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
This is surprisingly sinister for a fortune cookie factory. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:12 | |
Admire it later, Frogg. | 0:07:12 | 0:07:14 | |
Right now, we need to stuff that fortune inside a cookie. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:17 | |
Dare I say, "Victory"? | 0:07:20 | 0:07:23 | |
"You will fall behind at the office and your work will pile up." | 0:07:26 | 0:07:30 | |
ALARM RINGS | 0:07:30 | 0:07:32 | |
My fortune! | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
Excuse me! Have you found your goat yet? | 0:07:39 | 0:07:43 | |
You see, the thing is, I think the building is about to collapse. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:48 | |
"Sometimes it is easy | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
"to pass an elephant through the eye of a needle." | 0:07:51 | 0:07:54 | |
Oh-h! | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
TAPPING | 0:08:05 | 0:08:06 | |
Um, OK, the future's written by a monkey! | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
I always suspected this! | 0:08:14 | 0:08:17 | |
He is so cute! I wish I had a pet with opposable thumbs. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:21 | |
RED MENACE LAUGHS | 0:08:25 | 0:08:27 | |
-Er, Red Menace... -What? | 0:08:28 | 0:08:31 | |
If we can befriend this ape, we can control the future! | 0:08:31 | 0:08:35 | |
Yeah, well, this machine of his mangled my perfect fortune. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:40 | |
All right, listen up, fortune monkey. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
I, the great Voltar, demand a top-of-the-line primate fortune! | 0:08:44 | 0:08:50 | |
Chop-chop! | 0:08:51 | 0:08:52 | |
See? You have to know how do deal with these college types. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:59 | |
Hm-hm! | 0:08:59 | 0:09:00 | |
"Banana"! | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
-Oooh! -Voltar, stop! | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
This little monkey has been tirelessly writing out fortunes | 0:09:05 | 0:09:10 | |
day after day, | 0:09:10 | 0:09:11 | |
so that everyone who eats Chinese food | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
can have a bit of hope at the end of their meal. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:18 | |
Maybe he just wanted a little something for himself for a change, | 0:09:18 | 0:09:24 | |
you know? | 0:09:24 | 0:09:25 | |
Is that too much to ask? | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
Hmm? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
-BLOWS RASPBERRY Oooh! -Aggh! | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
Never mind him. Here you go, little fella. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:36 | |
Ohhh! | 0:09:41 | 0:09:42 | |
Any chance your friend could write us a "you will escape" fortune? | 0:09:48 | 0:09:54 | |
SIREN BLARES | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
It's OK, I'm the King of Albovia and this is my monkey. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:10 | |
Oo-ah-ah-ah! | 0:10:10 | 0:10:11 | |
Go on, Doktor Frogg. He won't bite. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:17 | |
Oh! It's the fortune I'm worried about. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
Hmm! | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
Oh. "You will be singled out... | 0:10:23 | 0:10:27 | |
"for an award!" | 0:10:27 | 0:10:31 | |
The Doorbell Prize For Claw Science! | 0:10:31 | 0:10:36 | |
This is the happiest day of my life! | 0:10:36 | 0:10:40 | |
OK, fine! Here you go, but it'd better be a good one! | 0:10:40 | 0:10:45 | |
RATTLING What's happening? | 0:10:45 | 0:10:49 | |
You finally got your fortune. | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
Yes! Victory! | 0:10:57 | 0:10:59 | |
Eugh! | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 |