Operation Flopsy M.I. High

Go! Go! Go!

Grandmaster, I arrest you in the name of MI9.

Your reign of terror is over.

I don't think that's him.

I'm very sorry.

I thought you were someone else.

The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

Old school spies have had their day

and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

Hidden in a place no villain will think to look.

Welcome to MI High.

Mr Flatley, I asked to see the school records two months ago.

Why have you filled my desk with waste paper?

Oh, this isn't waste paper, it's our filing system.

I invented it, actually. It's rather brilliant.

Even if I do say so myself.

-But this is chaos!

-No, no, no, no. It's all perfectly logical.

Each child has a nickname to help me remember who they are

and each file is arranged alphabetically

according to those nicknames. For example...

Robbie Small is filed under C for Cake.

-Why Cake?

-That's easy.

Small plays for the football team. Footballers get yellow cards.

Yellow cards aren't as nice as birthday cards

and if it's your birthday, you'll want some...

Cake.

The whole school's administrative system is based on this?

Well, I have simplified things for you, of course.

Each child's file is also colour coded

according to the number of letters in their surname.

Brilliant.

It'll take a genius to sort through this lot.

What class is Rose Gupta in at the moment?

I gave her the morning off.

She had a very important thingummybob she had to do.

Unbelievable.

My operation was planned to perfection.

A tip-off seems the only explanation for our failure.

I can't see a thing through all this smoke.

I think the air-con's broken.

Can't you sort it, Frank?

I'm here in my capacity as a senior MI9 agent,

not as a caretaker.

Yeah, but I bet you'd have it fixed in no time.

Well, I did once install a whole air conditioning system

for a shanty town in Latin America.

Anyway, all we know is his weakness for pastries

was the last lead we had on the Grandmaster.

We need new ideas now.

Out of the box thinking.

Agent Lil?

Erm... We could...

We could introduce ID cards and then maybe he would fill one in.

ID cards?

Good.

HE WHISPERS

Offshore savings accounts, sir.

We'd check to see if the Grandmaster has any in his name.

Good.

Good, I like it.

Bank accounts? Get more obvious.

If this lot had one good idea between them,

we'd actually stand a chance of catching the Grandmaster.

And getting my mum out of that SKUL prison.

Anyone else?

Agent Khan?

I have an idea, sir.

Ah, yes, we must give youth its chance...I suppose.

-I've been looking at the data and I think we've missed a trick.

-Go on.

It's the rabbit.

We all know the Grandmaster has a rabbit. General Flopsy.

And it goes everywhere he goes.

So we could sort of...

kind of, erm...

get to the Grandmaster by catching General Flopsy.

SHE GIGGLES

I still say it was a good idea.

People value their pets, even someone like the Grandmaster.

I didn't become a spy to spend my time tailing bunnies.

Rabbits, goldfish, what does it matter

if it leads us to the Grandmaster?

I agree. Maybe something unexpected is just what's needed.

Ah, the elusive Rose. Follow me, I have a task for you.

-But Miss...

-It won't take more than a few hours.

Let's go to HQ and research the rabbit idea?

I've just got my latest car magazine. Maybe later.

Thanks for the support(!)

Erm, I don't think this should be here, Miss.

I don't think any of us should.

What is it?

It's a letter from the Department of Education.

They're looking for a new teaching czar to run schools in the UK.

-Applicants must be experienced head teachers.

-What?

Are you going to go in for it, Miss?

Erm, dunno. Possibly.

You can go now.

But I'm only up to B.

Oh, you've been a great help.

Name of applicant.

Of course, not everyone in MI9 knows

that it was my unit's specially trained squirrels and rabbits

that won the Cold War.

-It was?

-Yeah, absolutely.

Squirrels stole microchips and hid them in trees.

And the rabbits?

Specially trained to nibble through spy cables.

You know, the rabbit is actually a particularly hardy agent.

Especially since we eradicated diseases like Blue Ear.

Blue Ear?

BELL RINGS

You do know cars are choking the earth?

Have you got no interest in your carbon footprint?

What footprint?

The effect you're having on the world. Cars are destroying it.

I haven't got a car, I've got a car magazine.

That's just as bad.

How long have you been reading this dumb mag?

Let's say five years.

Times 52.

-That's, like, 260 trees.

-What?

You don't care about saving the planet at all, do you?

You haven't got a clue what I do.

Come on then, what do you do that's so great?

Nothing.

"Hello Oscar."

"Must meet..."

"Mum."

"Hello Oscar. Must meet. Deighton Lake. Thursday. 1pm."

That's today!

Oscar.

'We need you in HQ.'

Can it wait?

'No. Carrie's got a plan to capture the Grandmaster.'

Come on, Oscar, Carrie's just started.

The first phase of Operation Flopsy has already begun.

'With me now is Maurice Hutchinson of PRAT,

'and that's the Pets Registration And Treatment team.

'What is this new illness

rabbit owners should be so worried about?

-Firstly, it's only white rabbits that are affected.

-OK.

The illness is called Blue Ear disease.

OK, and what symptoms should owners be looking out for?

In the initial stages, a twitching of the nose.

OK, so if you have a white rabbit and its nose is twitching,

what should you do?

Well, you must bring it in to an official PRAT vet

where we can run tests for Blue Ear and, if necessary, inoculate.

OK, so just to reiterate that message,

'if it twitches, bring it in.'

Nice work, Carrie. All rabbits have twitchy noses,

so identifying that as the main symptom

means we see every white rabbit in the country.

-Including, hopefully, General Flopsy.

-Each PRAT vet takes a DNA sample

which we'll check against our DNA files.

I got Flopsy's when we had him during the US President mission.

-When we get a match, we'll know that rabbit must be Flopsy.

-It won't work.

It's worth a try.

You waste your time, I've got things to do.

'OK, so just to reiterate that message,

'if it twitches, bring it in.'

You have been off colour for a while, Flopsy.

And not eating your greens.

Could it be this Blue Ear epidemic?

I knew we should never have used public transport

on the way back from your birthday party.

'Listen carefully, this is a message from SKUL.

'We still have your mother, but she is ill.

'An old biological war wound from her time in East Zanzibar.

'She needs vital medication,

'which you will find in her locker in MI9 HQ.

'Once you have the medication, a drop-off point will be arranged.

'Tell no-one about this.

'This message will self destruct.'

Hey!

PHONE RINGS

'Jane Le Carre, Department of Education.

You were a referee to Mr Flatley to become the new education czar.

Yes. A most able candidate.

I can't speak highly enough of him.

'Well then, the final stage will be an undercover visit

'by one of my team.

-'Just to see him in action. I'm sure it's a formality.'

-Bye.

Mr London, do let me know if you see any new faces on the premises

over the next few days.

2,009 rabbits screened.

Not a single match.

Maybe the Grandmaster didn't see our news bulletins.

Or maybe he hasn't got a rabbit anymore.

Oscar did say my plan wasn't gonna work.

Yeah, Oscar should be here helping us go through all this data.

The next DNA helix we see could be Flopsy's.

Erm...where is your other agent?

"Rare tropical diseases."

Oscar, how do you always manage to get in such a mess?

The creche is on the second floor.

Oh, I forgot, you're an agent, aren't you?

Just clearing out this locker.

Agent reassigned.

Wonderful.

They've given you a dangerous mission to suit your abilities.

-Can we talk?

-Sure.

In private?

SKUL have been in touch.

They sent me a message about my mum.

She's still locked up, and...

she's ill.

TYPING

Do you think Oscar's got his own plan?

I don't care. He should be working with us on Operation Flopsy.

Thanks for being so honest with me.

Let's take a closer look at this medication.

SKUL may have tampered with it in some way.

Hmm.

Looks like a simple anti-inflammatory

with a methylparaben coating.

No bugging devices in the molecules.

You realise what this is.

MI9 agents. Places in Africa.

Both. It's a list of all our African agents,

and their bases.

If my mum told SKUL the cream contained a list of agents,

she must be in a really bad way. We need to help her!

Your mum will know how to deal with this.

Maybe we can use this situation to our advantage.

Yeah.

What about if we gave them a different tube of cream? A fake?

Then follow whoever picks it up, straight to your mum!

Carrie?

Yes. Yes, good news, actually.

It looks like Operation Flopsy has finally borne fruit.

A rabbit with matching DNA's just turned up.

Frank? We've got to get to the PRAT hospital straight away.

Maurice will be stalling the owner until we get there.

-Good luck!

-Won't Oscar be coming?

He'll be sitting this one out.

-Looking for someone?

-What? No!

-Thank you.

-Shepherd.

Don't tell me.

Shepherd's a dog, dogs like bones,

the shin's a bone, shin rhymes with...win...

Winnie from Class 3PF.

No.

It's Alison Shepherd from Form 3TS.

Purple files just use surnames, obviously. Heh.

Frank? I'm at the drop location SKUL gave me.

'OK, Oscar. Now be careful, and keep your eyes open.'

'Oscar? Oscar!'

I'll call you once I've checked it out.

If we know it's Blue Ear,

then what are we waiting for?

Well, er...we need to run more tests.

-Tests?

-Yes. Er...

blood group, allergies, and I'll need the name of his next of kin.

Why so nervous, Doctor?

No reason!

Flopsy...we've been...

tricked!

-Hey! Come back!

-Hold on.

To protect our identities. Come on.

I think we've shaken them off, General.

Frank? I've got eyeball on a number of suspects. Out.

Feeding the birds, old lady?

Then where are the birds?

Frank! The bin's disappeared!

-'Bin? What bin?'

-There was this bin, and it's...

I'll call you.

Wait! I've just seen the results of the tests I did on General Flopsy.

-I thought you ran them just to stall the Grandmaster?

-I'm a scientist!

-I don't run fake tests!

-So what do they show?

They're rather worrying.

Flopsy is not a well rabbit.

We must operate! Immediately!

I knew it! He's been off his greens all week.

-You have to let me stay for the operation!

-Out of the question.

But...he needs me.

You've already won. You owe me this much, at least.

OK. But one wrong move and you're out of here.

I've prepared the operating theatre.

Almost there.

Swab.

BEEP

Is that it? How is he?

Fine.

He always was a fighter.

We won't be able to move him for a while, though.

Goodbye, General Flopsy.

I'll see you in a few days.

I'm sorry. I don't think they allow rabbits in prison.

Prison? Whatever makes you think I'm going to prison?

-It's locked!

-I'll call Oscar.

I think he's already here.

Heard you got the Grandmaster. Nice work. Where is he?

You've got nice moves... for a granny.

BUZZING

-'Oscar!'

-Rose?

-'The Grandmaster has escaped.

'You need to get back to HQ now.'

Don't take what Chief Agent Shaw said to heart.

He's just jealous because you came close to catching the Grandmaster.

-Oscar.

-I blew my one link to my mum.

And I probably made it worse by trying to trick SKUL.

There is still someone who can get us out of this mess.

-General Flopsy.

-Not again.

-Carrie's right.

We all saw how much the Grandmaster loves Flopsy.

Maybe he'll exchange your mum for his pet.

My mum for a rabbit?

Sweet.

-Thanks for your help, Maurice.

-Oh, no, not at all!

I'm glad Flopsy has recovered so well.

Good luck with the rescue mission.

I know why you're here.

-You do?

-Mr Flatley is a wonderful man!

-And I just want to make sure your bosses know that.

-Mr Flatley?

Ahh, you're very good at playing the innocent, aren't you? This way.

Mr Flatley has single-handedly managed...

-You should have come to us sooner.

-I wish I had.

Look, I'm not saying this to try and get at you,

I'm saying it so that you know we're on your side.

This op won't be easy for you.

If you want to back out, Carrie and I will cover.

Thanks.

We should get going.

Mum!

Here we go.

It's my mum! She's working for SKUL!

Rose! Get Flopsy!

SWAT team go! Take them!

CLANKING

-They've gotten away AGAIN.

-You've got to be kidding.

< They've gone down a drain.

-You know you done the right thing, don't you?

-I guess.

And you know you've always got us.

Carrie's got a new plan to catch the Grandmaster.

We're all going to dress up as rabbits

and pretend to be General Flopsy's long-lost relatives.

That's a stupid plan.

They'll be expecting rabbits. We should go as lobsters.

I'm in.

You won't regret hiring him. He's a human dynamo.

But with a caring, sensitive side.

So, you would be filed in a pink file under G for grapefruit.

Do you see? Brown, clown, red nose, red fruit, strawberry, grapefruit!

You're a lunatic.

Mr Flatley! Who was that?

It's a funny thing.

He claimed he was working for the Department of Education.

Seemed very interested in me.

I've been telling him all about my filing system.

Fully recovered, General?

I'm glad you enjoyed your GM-free radishes.

Next is a lettuce risotto

served on a bed of creamed baby carrots.