Operation Flopsy M.I. High


Operation Flopsy

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Go! Go! Go!

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Grandmaster, I arrest you in the name of MI9.

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Your reign of terror is over.

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I don't think that's him.

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I'm very sorry.

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I thought you were someone else.

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The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

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Old school spies have had their day

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and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

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Hidden in a place no villain will think to look.

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Welcome to MI High.

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Mr Flatley, I asked to see the school records two months ago.

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Why have you filled my desk with waste paper?

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Oh, this isn't waste paper, it's our filing system.

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I invented it, actually. It's rather brilliant.

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Even if I do say so myself.

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-But this is chaos!

-No, no, no, no. It's all perfectly logical.

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Each child has a nickname to help me remember who they are

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and each file is arranged alphabetically

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according to those nicknames. For example...

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Robbie Small is filed under C for Cake.

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-Why Cake?

-That's easy.

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Small plays for the football team. Footballers get yellow cards.

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Yellow cards aren't as nice as birthday cards

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and if it's your birthday, you'll want some...

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Cake.

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The whole school's administrative system is based on this?

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Well, I have simplified things for you, of course.

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Each child's file is also colour coded

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according to the number of letters in their surname.

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Brilliant.

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It'll take a genius to sort through this lot.

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What class is Rose Gupta in at the moment?

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I gave her the morning off.

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She had a very important thingummybob she had to do.

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Unbelievable.

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My operation was planned to perfection.

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A tip-off seems the only explanation for our failure.

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I can't see a thing through all this smoke.

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I think the air-con's broken.

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Can't you sort it, Frank?

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I'm here in my capacity as a senior MI9 agent,

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not as a caretaker.

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Yeah, but I bet you'd have it fixed in no time.

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Well, I did once install a whole air conditioning system

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for a shanty town in Latin America.

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Anyway, all we know is his weakness for pastries

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was the last lead we had on the Grandmaster.

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We need new ideas now.

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Out of the box thinking.

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Agent Lil?

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Erm... We could...

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We could introduce ID cards and then maybe he would fill one in.

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ID cards?

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Good.

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HE WHISPERS

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Offshore savings accounts, sir.

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We'd check to see if the Grandmaster has any in his name.

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Good.

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Good, I like it.

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Bank accounts? Get more obvious.

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If this lot had one good idea between them,

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we'd actually stand a chance of catching the Grandmaster.

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And getting my mum out of that SKUL prison.

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Anyone else?

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Agent Khan?

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I have an idea, sir.

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Ah, yes, we must give youth its chance...I suppose.

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-I've been looking at the data and I think we've missed a trick.

-Go on.

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It's the rabbit.

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We all know the Grandmaster has a rabbit. General Flopsy.

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And it goes everywhere he goes.

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So we could sort of...

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kind of, erm...

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get to the Grandmaster by catching General Flopsy.

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SHE GIGGLES

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I still say it was a good idea.

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People value their pets, even someone like the Grandmaster.

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I didn't become a spy to spend my time tailing bunnies.

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Rabbits, goldfish, what does it matter

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if it leads us to the Grandmaster?

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I agree. Maybe something unexpected is just what's needed.

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Ah, the elusive Rose. Follow me, I have a task for you.

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-But Miss...

-It won't take more than a few hours.

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Let's go to HQ and research the rabbit idea?

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I've just got my latest car magazine. Maybe later.

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Thanks for the support(!)

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Erm, I don't think this should be here, Miss.

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I don't think any of us should.

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What is it?

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It's a letter from the Department of Education.

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They're looking for a new teaching czar to run schools in the UK.

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-Applicants must be experienced head teachers.

-What?

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Are you going to go in for it, Miss?

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Erm, dunno. Possibly.

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You can go now.

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But I'm only up to B.

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Oh, you've been a great help.

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Name of applicant.

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Of course, not everyone in MI9 knows

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that it was my unit's specially trained squirrels and rabbits

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that won the Cold War.

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-It was?

-Yeah, absolutely.

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Squirrels stole microchips and hid them in trees.

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And the rabbits?

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Specially trained to nibble through spy cables.

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You know, the rabbit is actually a particularly hardy agent.

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Especially since we eradicated diseases like Blue Ear.

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Blue Ear?

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BELL RINGS

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You do know cars are choking the earth?

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Have you got no interest in your carbon footprint?

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What footprint?

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The effect you're having on the world. Cars are destroying it.

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I haven't got a car, I've got a car magazine.

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That's just as bad.

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How long have you been reading this dumb mag?

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Let's say five years.

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Times 52.

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-That's, like, 260 trees.

-What?

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You don't care about saving the planet at all, do you?

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You haven't got a clue what I do.

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Come on then, what do you do that's so great?

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Nothing.

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"Hello Oscar."

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"Must meet..."

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"Mum."

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"Hello Oscar. Must meet. Deighton Lake. Thursday. 1pm."

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That's today!

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Oscar.

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'We need you in HQ.'

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Can it wait?

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'No. Carrie's got a plan to capture the Grandmaster.'

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Come on, Oscar, Carrie's just started.

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The first phase of Operation Flopsy has already begun.

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'With me now is Maurice Hutchinson of PRAT,

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'and that's the Pets Registration And Treatment team.

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'What is this new illness

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rabbit owners should be so worried about?

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-Firstly, it's only white rabbits that are affected.

-OK.

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The illness is called Blue Ear disease.

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OK, and what symptoms should owners be looking out for?

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In the initial stages, a twitching of the nose.

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OK, so if you have a white rabbit and its nose is twitching,

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what should you do?

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Well, you must bring it in to an official PRAT vet

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where we can run tests for Blue Ear and, if necessary, inoculate.

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OK, so just to reiterate that message,

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'if it twitches, bring it in.'

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Nice work, Carrie. All rabbits have twitchy noses,

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so identifying that as the main symptom

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means we see every white rabbit in the country.

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-Including, hopefully, General Flopsy.

-Each PRAT vet takes a DNA sample

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which we'll check against our DNA files.

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I got Flopsy's when we had him during the US President mission.

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-When we get a match, we'll know that rabbit must be Flopsy.

-It won't work.

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It's worth a try.

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You waste your time, I've got things to do.

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'OK, so just to reiterate that message,

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'if it twitches, bring it in.'

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You have been off colour for a while, Flopsy.

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And not eating your greens.

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Could it be this Blue Ear epidemic?

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I knew we should never have used public transport

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on the way back from your birthday party.

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'Listen carefully, this is a message from SKUL.

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'We still have your mother, but she is ill.

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'An old biological war wound from her time in East Zanzibar.

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'She needs vital medication,

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'which you will find in her locker in MI9 HQ.

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'Once you have the medication, a drop-off point will be arranged.

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'Tell no-one about this.

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'This message will self destruct.'

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Hey!

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PHONE RINGS

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'Jane Le Carre, Department of Education.

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You were a referee to Mr Flatley to become the new education czar.

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Yes. A most able candidate.

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I can't speak highly enough of him.

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'Well then, the final stage will be an undercover visit

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'by one of my team.

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-'Just to see him in action. I'm sure it's a formality.'

-Bye.

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Mr London, do let me know if you see any new faces on the premises

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over the next few days.

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2,009 rabbits screened.

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Not a single match.

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Maybe the Grandmaster didn't see our news bulletins.

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Or maybe he hasn't got a rabbit anymore.

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Oscar did say my plan wasn't gonna work.

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Yeah, Oscar should be here helping us go through all this data.

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The next DNA helix we see could be Flopsy's.

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Erm...where is your other agent?

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"Rare tropical diseases."

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Oscar, how do you always manage to get in such a mess?

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The creche is on the second floor.

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Oh, I forgot, you're an agent, aren't you?

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Just clearing out this locker.

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Agent reassigned.

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Wonderful.

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They've given you a dangerous mission to suit your abilities.

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-Can we talk?

-Sure.

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In private?

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SKUL have been in touch.

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They sent me a message about my mum.

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She's still locked up, and...

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she's ill.

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TYPING

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Do you think Oscar's got his own plan?

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I don't care. He should be working with us on Operation Flopsy.

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Thanks for being so honest with me.

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Let's take a closer look at this medication.

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SKUL may have tampered with it in some way.

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Hmm.

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Looks like a simple anti-inflammatory

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with a methylparaben coating.

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No bugging devices in the molecules.

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You realise what this is.

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MI9 agents. Places in Africa.

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Both. It's a list of all our African agents,

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and their bases.

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If my mum told SKUL the cream contained a list of agents,

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she must be in a really bad way. We need to help her!

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Your mum will know how to deal with this.

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Maybe we can use this situation to our advantage.

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Yeah.

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What about if we gave them a different tube of cream? A fake?

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Then follow whoever picks it up, straight to your mum!

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Carrie?

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Yes. Yes, good news, actually.

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It looks like Operation Flopsy has finally borne fruit.

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A rabbit with matching DNA's just turned up.

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Frank? We've got to get to the PRAT hospital straight away.

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Maurice will be stalling the owner until we get there.

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-Good luck!

-Won't Oscar be coming?

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He'll be sitting this one out.

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-Looking for someone?

-What? No!

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-Thank you.

-Shepherd.

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Don't tell me.

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Shepherd's a dog, dogs like bones,

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the shin's a bone, shin rhymes with...win...

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Winnie from Class 3PF.

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No.

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It's Alison Shepherd from Form 3TS.

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Purple files just use surnames, obviously. Heh.

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Frank? I'm at the drop location SKUL gave me.

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'OK, Oscar. Now be careful, and keep your eyes open.'

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'Oscar? Oscar!'

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I'll call you once I've checked it out.

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If we know it's Blue Ear,

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then what are we waiting for?

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Well, er...we need to run more tests.

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-Tests?

-Yes. Er...

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blood group, allergies, and I'll need the name of his next of kin.

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Why so nervous, Doctor?

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No reason!

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Flopsy...we've been...

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tricked!

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-Hey! Come back!

-Hold on.

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To protect our identities. Come on.

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I think we've shaken them off, General.

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Frank? I've got eyeball on a number of suspects. Out.

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Feeding the birds, old lady?

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Then where are the birds?

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Frank! The bin's disappeared!

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-'Bin? What bin?'

-There was this bin, and it's...

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I'll call you.

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Wait! I've just seen the results of the tests I did on General Flopsy.

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-I thought you ran them just to stall the Grandmaster?

-I'm a scientist!

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-I don't run fake tests!

-So what do they show?

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They're rather worrying.

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Flopsy is not a well rabbit.

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We must operate! Immediately!

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I knew it! He's been off his greens all week.

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-You have to let me stay for the operation!

-Out of the question.

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But...he needs me.

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You've already won. You owe me this much, at least.

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OK. But one wrong move and you're out of here.

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I've prepared the operating theatre.

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Almost there.

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Swab.

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BEEP

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Is that it? How is he?

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Fine.

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He always was a fighter.

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We won't be able to move him for a while, though.

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Goodbye, General Flopsy.

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I'll see you in a few days.

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I'm sorry. I don't think they allow rabbits in prison.

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Prison? Whatever makes you think I'm going to prison?

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-It's locked!

-I'll call Oscar.

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I think he's already here.

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Heard you got the Grandmaster. Nice work. Where is he?

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You've got nice moves... for a granny.

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BUZZING

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-'Oscar!'

-Rose?

-'The Grandmaster has escaped.

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'You need to get back to HQ now.'

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Don't take what Chief Agent Shaw said to heart.

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He's just jealous because you came close to catching the Grandmaster.

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-Oscar.

-I blew my one link to my mum.

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And I probably made it worse by trying to trick SKUL.

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There is still someone who can get us out of this mess.

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-General Flopsy.

-Not again.

-Carrie's right.

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We all saw how much the Grandmaster loves Flopsy.

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Maybe he'll exchange your mum for his pet.

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My mum for a rabbit?

0:23:250:23:28

Sweet.

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-Thanks for your help, Maurice.

-Oh, no, not at all!

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I'm glad Flopsy has recovered so well.

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Good luck with the rescue mission.

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I know why you're here.

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-You do?

-Mr Flatley is a wonderful man!

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-And I just want to make sure your bosses know that.

-Mr Flatley?

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Ahh, you're very good at playing the innocent, aren't you? This way.

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Mr Flatley has single-handedly managed...

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-You should have come to us sooner.

-I wish I had.

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Look, I'm not saying this to try and get at you,

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I'm saying it so that you know we're on your side.

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This op won't be easy for you.

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If you want to back out, Carrie and I will cover.

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Thanks.

0:24:230:24:25

We should get going.

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Mum!

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Here we go.

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It's my mum! She's working for SKUL!

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Rose! Get Flopsy!

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SWAT team go! Take them!

0:25:320:25:34

CLANKING

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-They've gotten away AGAIN.

-You've got to be kidding.

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< They've gone down a drain.

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-You know you done the right thing, don't you?

-I guess.

0:26:380:26:41

And you know you've always got us.

0:26:420:26:45

Carrie's got a new plan to catch the Grandmaster.

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We're all going to dress up as rabbits

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and pretend to be General Flopsy's long-lost relatives.

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That's a stupid plan.

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They'll be expecting rabbits. We should go as lobsters.

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I'm in.

0:27:000:27:02

You won't regret hiring him. He's a human dynamo.

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But with a caring, sensitive side.

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So, you would be filed in a pink file under G for grapefruit.

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Do you see? Brown, clown, red nose, red fruit, strawberry, grapefruit!

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You're a lunatic.

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Mr Flatley! Who was that?

0:27:270:27:29

It's a funny thing.

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He claimed he was working for the Department of Education.

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Seemed very interested in me.

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I've been telling him all about my filing system.

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Fully recovered, General?

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I'm glad you enjoyed your GM-free radishes.

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Next is a lettuce risotto

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served on a bed of creamed baby carrots.

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