Moontaker M.I. High


Moontaker

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Oh, look, Flopsy, a SKUL probe on the surface of the moon!

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And soon there'll be a second landing,

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this time with our agents on board.

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Once my plan succeeds,

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the world will have no choice but to surrender to our demands.

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EVIL CACKLING

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The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

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Old school spies have had their day

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and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

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Hidden in a place no villain will think to look.

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Welcome to MI High.

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And this totalometer will show

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exactly how much money we've raised for our summer trip.

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Our last trip was a great success.

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We went to the Pencil Museum in Morecambe. Yes.

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This time we propose something much more ambitious.

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Mrs King?

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We plan to take a group to NASA HQ, in Florida.

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Awesome!

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Yeah, Florida's like celebrity central.

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Now it won't be cheap, so we'll need

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lots of innovative ideas to raise money.

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I'm going to have a makeover stall, emo-chic, anti-fashion?

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Me and the posse can get money out of anyone.

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Rose, I'm banking on you to come up with an itinerary for our trip.

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-All the best places to visit.

-Yes, Miss.

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Good.

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Mr Flatley, sorry, your exam papers!

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Oh, dear, Frank. Oh, yes, it's a nasty stain.

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Not to worry, I've got just the thing.

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Granny Flatley's homemade stain remover!

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There...bingo!

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Year three maths papers, perhaps I should have left the coffee on them!

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Would you like to borrow some, Frank?

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Might be useful in your work.

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It might, yeah, ta.

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Ah, team, have a look at this.

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Is that what I think it is?

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I'm afraid so.

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-A SKUL space probe on the moon's surface.

-Bad news

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Your mission is to find out

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what SKUL are doing on the moon and put a stop to it.

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Whoa! This is the perfect mission. I always wanted to be an astronaut.

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I don't think they'll be any actual space flight involved.

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What's up, Rose? Thought you were right into all that astronomy stuff.

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Didn't do very well on the MI9 rocket simulator last year.

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The machine wasn't properly calibrated.

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-Even the instructor admitted it.

-Rose'll be fine.

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You'll be taking some great gadgets with you.

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Firstly, our old friend, the VSP,

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picks up the DNA of anyone inside a building.

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We also have this... GFSR.

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Sounds dangerous. What is it?

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-Granny Flatley's stain remover.

-You joking?

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I never joke about gadgets. I've seen this stuff in action

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and, believe me, it has some remarkable properties.

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I want you to field test it for me. We need to locate

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the SKUL lunar programme and make sure it doesn't go any further.

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Ah, my brave astronauts!

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Are you looking forward to your trip?

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They say the moon is made of cheese, Flopsy,

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but we'll find something far more valuable there.

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Something that will give us control over all the world.

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I'm starting flight data for anything next to earth's atmosphere,

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I think this might be the SKUL probe.

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-Can you pinpoint the launch site?

-Hopefully to within a few feet.

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I'm looking at SKUL agents with expertise in space travel.

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-Frank?

-I know this face, don't tell me, Patrick Houston?

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Top space expert.

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He also hosts the late night space programme, Night Sky.

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-Like anybody ever watches that!

-I want to show him a picture

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-of the SKUL probe and get his take on it.

-Good idea!

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Get straight to the TV studios, now.

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Oscar? Where are you going?

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Er, that fundraising thing.

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I had no idea.

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I booked the science labs for my makeover, promise you'll turn up.

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You could do with a new look.

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Sure, you should ask Donovan, too.

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Oscar?

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I've traced the SKUL launch to a remote area of the countryside.

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The land belongs to something called the UKLDP.

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The whole place is classified maximum security red.

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Sounds like a visit is in order.

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Oscar? We're heading to a suspected launch site called the UKLDP.

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Could you ask Houston about it?

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'Cool. I'm at the TV studio now. Just hope my disguise works!'

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Mr Houston?

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Terry Drewitt, Astronomy and Stargazer magazine.

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We spoke on the phone.

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Ah, Drewitt... Yes! Splendid!

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You're three minutes late. Peppermint tea?

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No, thank you, Mr Houston. This is great honour, by the way.

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How can I help you? Don't have long.

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Mars is aligned with Perseus this evening, hoping for clear skies.

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-What?

-I made an interesting sighting myself, as I told you.

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Your phantom rocket? Yes.

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It took off from somewhere owned by UKLDP.

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I wondered if the name rung any bells.

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No!

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Ha-ha-ha! I'm sorry! Not my field.

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-Mr Hewitt...

-Drewitt.

-As I said, busy evening ahead!

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If you'll excuse me.

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I just spoke to Houston. I don't trust him, he's up to something.

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He twiddled his moustache. I'm gonna to follow him.

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-I brought some of my old clothes to sell.

-Not bad.

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Second-hand clothing, can be big money in this. What else you got?

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Ha-ha, happy memories! I must say, I'm rather reluctant to part with it.

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I suppose I should just make sure all the pieces are still here.

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Oh.

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Well, you shouldn't have left it lying around, then.

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So this is the mysterious UKLDP.

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Four people within radius, and one of them's a SKUL agent.

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OK, let's split up. I'll try and locate the SKUL agent,

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and you see if this place really could be used for a launch.

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Tripwire?

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MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

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'Oscar, where are you?'

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Map reference...page nine, K10.

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No way! You're at the UKLDP site, too!

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You must be one of the people Rose picked up on the VSP.

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Did Mr Houston lead you there?

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Yeah, but he just gave me the slip.

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What, cuddly old Mr Houston?

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Cuddly, nothing, he's had spy training, probably from SKUL,

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you'd better watch out for him.

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It's still warm.

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Guys, I'm in what looks like the old mission control room.

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Someone's been here recently.

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No way!

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It's worse than we thought. There's another SKUL rocket here,

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-'and it's primed to launch.'

-Can you stop it?

-'I'll try.'

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The weird thing is, there's no-one here to fly it.

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DOOR CREAKS

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That's where you're wrong.

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I thought you were off watching Mars aligning with Perseus.

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-Drewitt!

-Or were you too busy working for SKUL?

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SKUL? How dare you!

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You're the SKUL agent!

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Hang on... "Can you hear the drums, Senor Fernando?"

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"Only if the window is open."

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HE CHUCKLES

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Oscar Cole,

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-MI9.

-I'm glad to meet you, dear boy, retired MI9 myself.

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I was intrigued by your story of a rocket launch from here,

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it's been closed down for years, you see.

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My team think there's going to be another launch any moment.

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I feared as much. There's something I have to show you.

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Rose?

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-Rose?

-Sorry, your little friend got tied up in her work.

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MI9 issue!

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Britain must be desperate if it's using little girls as spies.

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You're going to wish you hadn't said that!

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You were saying?

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Get off!

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So you see, back in the 60s, Britain already had a man on the moon.

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You?

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But how come no-one knows about this? This is huge!

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Because it's classified!

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Why? What were you doing on the moon that was so secret?

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A missile base. On the moon?

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UKLDP. UK Lunar Defence Programme.

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20 rockets trained on our enemies.

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The base was shut down once the Cold War ended.

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That's why SKUL are here? Planning another space mission?

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-I fear so.

-They're going to reactivate our old missile sites

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and hold the whole earth to ransom. Rose? Carrie?

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The line to my team has gone dead. They were in the control room.

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I can take you there.

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The automatic countdown has been activated.

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Once refuelling's complete we can board.

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Working for SKUL isn't a smart career option, you know?

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I wouldn't upset Zak. Those teeth can chew through metal cable.

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-What kept you?

-Venus!

-You know her? She's the SKUL agent.

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-How could you?

-Get over it, Grandad.

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Grandad?

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Right! Which one do you want? Metal-mouth, or Venus?

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I'll take Tin-teeth.

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-Must be my magnetic personality!

-If you didn't make jokes like that,

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maybe people wouldn't attack you.

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Ready for a few makeovers?

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Can I style you, Sir?

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Um, perhaps later, Avril. Do you have any bookings yet?

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-One, Oscar Cole.

-Oh.

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Metal-mouth damaged the console. I can't shut the rocket down from here.

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-We'll have to do it manually from the rocket.

-Cool.

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I've always wanted to see inside a real spaceship.

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-METAL-MOUTH GRUNTS

-Come on.

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It's not that rocket simulator thing, is it?

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Don't be stupid. Let's go.

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It's all right, I'll look after these two.

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Now hurry!

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Half-price makeover, anybody?

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Nah, that emo stuff ain't really our scene, Vlad,

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besides, me and the posse've got a shop to run.

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We're selling stuff from the streets, from the ghetto... Open?

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Uh! Where's first class?

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Fuel pump...off!

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Now to set the computer to manual.

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Is it this one?

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No, that's the air conditioning. Please just keep out of the way.

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Er, I think we should go.

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No, wait, I've almost got it.

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ELECTRONIC BEEPING

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I'm sorry, it was all so exciting, and I got to go to space, and...

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-I've been so stupid!

-Poor thing! You've been lead astray.

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Here, I've got a tissue somewhere...

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'Launch sequence activated'.

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Have a nice trip!

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What have you done?

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'39, 38, 37...'

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Guys, what's happening?

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-'..35, 34, 33...'

-The door's locking!

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What?

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Everything's locked on auto!

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Help! Open the door! Get us out of here!

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There's no time for that. We've got to get these on, get strapped in.

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Get us out of here!

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Open the door!

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No, you don't understand, I can't do this!

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'Three...two...one...zero.'

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Ah, successful liftoff, General.

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Our missiles will soon be trained on a helpless world.

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Now, our list of demands.

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The entire contents of the Bank Of England...

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Buckingham Palace as a summer residence...

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all the Queen's corgis to be replaced by rabbits.

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Rose is in shock.

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It's like the flight simulator incident, but 1,000 times worse.

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We need to get her back to earth fast.

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How are we going to do that? We're not astronauts.

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'No, but I am! Rocket, this is Houston...'

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Senior!

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-Together we can get that rocket back safely.

-How?

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They're kids, and you're past it.

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One deviation from the correct route and they're toast.

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We'll see about that.

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Your rocket has a powerful guidance system on board,

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-'it'll do the tricky stuff.'

-Good. That sounds promising.

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ELECTRONIC BEEPING

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-This is Houston.

-'Houston? London, Frank London.'

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I've checked your file. Apparently you're one of us.

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What's the situation there?

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Radar shows a rocket leaving the earth's atmosphere!

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-Bad business, I'm afraid. Your agents are on board that rocket.

-What?

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I'm on my way!

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I've got to admit, Timothy, I've been wrong about you.

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Your store is very impressive. Where did you get it all from?

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It's the strangest thing! My desk is completely empty.

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Everything's gone! They've even taken my name plaque.

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Fancy buying a replacement?

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Wait a second, the things missing from my office are exactly the same

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as the things on your stall. What a wonderful coincidence!

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How much for the lot?

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Um, £7.23, innit?

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What's the situation?

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As good as can be expected. The rocket's functioning well...

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Hang on, what's this?

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'Temperature warning!'

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-Where's the communicator? She must have dropped it.

-That's weird.

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It's got ice on it.

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'Team, it's Frank. I'm at UKLDP.'

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Frank, It's really cold in here.

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The windows and doors are freezing up.

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'I know. Houston says the ship is low on fuel,'

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-so it's diverting fuel to the engines.

-'Away from the heating?'

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Frank, we'll freeze to death. How do we switch it back?

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We can't.

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If we do, we won't have enough fuel to get home.

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We're going to die.

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'You're not going to die.'

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I won't let that happen.

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'We just need time to think.'

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Frank, I don't think we have a lot of time.

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There must be a way of fixing it. Every problem has an answer.

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It's just knowing where to look.

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But they're in space! There's just no way of getting them more fuel.

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What if they already had some with them?

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'Team! Do you still have Granny Flatley's stain remover?'

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Not sure any of us fancy spending our last moments cleaning, Frank.

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'Listen to me. It's paraffin-based.

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'It should be enough to get the heating going again.

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-'You'll find the heating pipes at the back of the rocket.'

-G-genius!

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Where's the bottle?

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It was in my pocket.

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This is my sort of job.

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Carrie! What are you doing?

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Whoa! Cool!

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'Team, it's Frank. Have you found the bottle?'

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'Carrie's on it. She's in the heating system now.'

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Come on, Granny.

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Stay with me, Rose.

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'Wait...it's getting warmer.'

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The heating is on!

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'Repeat, the heating is on.'

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That was close.

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'Houston, we have a problem.

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'Our navigational computer's gone down.'

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The rocket's diverted power from the computer to the engines.

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Shame you're out of that granny potion.

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-Can they land the rocket without the computer?

-Not a chance.

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They need it to calculate the angle of entry through the atmosphere.

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Get it wrong, they'll be burnt to a cinder.

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-Could one of my team do the calculations?

-Impossible!

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No human can perform those mathematics.

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-They're incredibly complex.

-You don't know Rose Gupta.

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Team, it's Frank.

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'Rose has to calculate re-entry and manually type it in.'

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That's not going to happen.

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Rose is in shock. We can't reach her.

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'Whatever's going on, deal with it.'

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I'm sorry. But Rose is your only hope.

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You're throwing this out?

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Yeah, it's two weeks old.

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Well, we don't, we keep this stuff until it comes back into fashion,

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then we flog it again. This could be big business.

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Oh, this would be nice for my niece. How much do you want?

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Sorry, it's not for sale.

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Has anybody seen Rose?

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Rose, you are our only chance.

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Snap out of it. Remember, you are MI9.

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Rose, over there is the toughest calculation

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you've ever been asked to do. It's the big one.

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Super complex advanced maths with all the trimmings.

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Actually, it's more physics than maths.

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Gross speed, measured against gravitational express

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against size of rocket and earth-axis rotation.

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OK, but can you do it?

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Yes! I need to add the fuel co-efficient.

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-I've got the figures, what do I do with them now?

-'Pull the lever.'

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Which lever? There are two. A red one, and a green one.

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Must have been a change of design since my day.

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We need to find someone who knows about spaceships.

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One lever sets the re-entry values, the other

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opens the fuel gates, flooding the engine

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-and causing the rocket to explode.

-Venus, this is your chance.

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If you'll tell us which is which, I'll make sure MI9 go easy on you.

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Please?

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-You've caused so much harm, you could make it right.

-You're right,

0:23:440:23:51

I never wanted it to go this far, I just wanted to go into space.

0:23:510:23:56

I'm sorry, Grandad.

0:23:560:23:59

-It's the green lever.

-Thank you, my dear.

0:24:020:24:06

Rose, pull the red lever.

0:24:070:24:10

-'Are you sure?'

-She said green!

0:24:100:24:12

Red will blow up the rocket!

0:24:120:24:14

Trust me. Red.

0:24:140:24:17

I hope you're sure about this, Frank.

0:24:170:24:20

EXPLOSION

0:24:240:24:26

-What have you done?

-Wait!

0:24:260:24:28

You've killed your own agents.

0:24:280:24:30

Listen!

0:24:300:24:32

'Frank? Patrick? That was the re-entry rockets kicking in.

0:24:350:24:38

'We're coming home.'

0:24:380:24:41

well done, agents. I'll see you soon.

0:24:410:24:44

Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

0:24:460:24:49

Relax, Oscar, it's just a rocket.

0:24:490:24:52

Houston, London, we're coming in to land.

0:24:520:24:56

How did you know?

0:24:590:25:00

Body language. You play with your hair when you lie.

0:25:000:25:06

Ha! Well, I'll be... Ha-ha! Should have thought of that myself.

0:25:060:25:12

The curse of the Houstons. We can't help ourselves.

0:25:120:25:17

With me, it's always been my moustache.

0:25:170:25:20

My whole space programme out of action,

0:25:200:25:24

and farewell to our list of demands.

0:25:240:25:29

It looks like my daily horoscope was right, General,

0:25:310:25:35

ambitious plans must be put on hold.

0:25:350:25:39

Look, Avril, I'm really not sure about this.

0:25:410:25:44

-Sir, you promised!

-Yes, I know I did, it's just... Oh.

0:25:440:25:49

You are going to look amazing!

0:25:490:25:51

Ah, take them away!

0:25:540:25:57

Frank!

0:26:060:26:07

Hang on, I'll come, too.

0:26:150:26:17

I may not like it, but Venus is family.

0:26:170:26:20

I won't abandon her whatever she's done.

0:26:200:26:22

He's stuck fast...come on, here we go! That's it.

0:26:280:26:31

-I think we need a holiday.

-Oh-oh.

0:26:340:26:37

-Thanks heaps for your support, Oscar.

-And Rose, so much for your help

0:26:370:26:42

with the itinerary! I thought you would have been interested

0:26:420:26:45

in visiting NASA.

0:26:450:26:48

HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

0:26:510:26:55

LAUGHTER

0:26:580:27:01

Before we reveal the totals, I'll need your contribution.

0:27:040:27:09

-So that's £5.00 for the jigsaw puzzle you wouldn't sell.

-Yes.

0:27:090:27:14

-£5.00 for Avril's makeover.

-Yes.

0:27:140:27:19

And £7.23 you promised Timothy

0:27:190:27:23

-to buy your own stuff back.

-Yes.

0:27:230:27:25

Time to reveal the grand total.

0:27:280:27:31

Ah.

0:27:310:27:33

Oh...

0:27:340:27:36

So that is 17 pounds and 23 pence.

0:27:360:27:43

Yes, well, sorry, boys and girls,

0:27:480:27:51

looks like St Hope's won't be visiting NASA

0:27:510:27:55

after all. Ha-ha! We reached for the stars,

0:27:550:27:58

but never got into orbit.

0:27:580:28:01

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0:28:040:28:08

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