Think Tank M.I. High

Dr Vince is the first person in the world to win the Nobel prizes

for chemistry, physics and economics, all in the same year.

-How brilliant is that?

-Very brilliant.

No, sorry. You carry on.

But seriously, you've come up with some amazing stuff.

Let's talk about the 30% pill.

A pill that makes you look 30% younger than you actually are.

That is incredible. So, tell us, have you got any more up your sleeve?

Oh, Ricky, I've only just started.

Next year, we'll be bringing out see-in-the-dark contact lenses

and...hover shoes -

for walking on water. But, my own personal favourite...

Sticky-back TV.

You just tear one off, stick it on the wall

and when you're done,

you just throw it away.

That is amazing. Every single important invention

in the last six months has come from your research facility.

Where on earth do you get your ideas from?

Well, I could tell you, Ricky, but then I'd have to kill you.

DR VINCE CACKLES

The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

Old-school spies have had their day.

And MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent...

..hidden in a place no villain will think to look -

welcome to MI High.

'Then Tom Cruise walked in and Brad Pitt said, "Want to be in a film?"

'And Tom said, "Yeah, all right. I'll be in the film".

'And he was in it. And it was really good.

'And David Beckham was in it too.

'Because he's actually brilliant at acting.

'And the film won all the Oscars.

-'The end.'

-Tell me that won't win a creative writing competition.

Why don't you write something that is not about celebrities?

What, like a normal person who becomes a celebrity?

Why did you enter the competition anyway? It's voluntary.

It's practice for when we're famous

and have to write our best-selling autobiographies.

PENCILS BUZZ

So, why don't you just try writing about yourselves?

LOW BEEPS THEN BELL RINGS

A year ago, Dr Leonard Vince was an idiot.

He entered an international inventors competition with these.

-Giant sticky-back fridge notes.

-They're massive!

Larger than the fridges they were meant to stick to. He came last.

A few days later, everything changed.

Suddenly, Dr Vince was churning out one amazing invention after another.

What's this got to do with MI9?

Every technical development we make, he comes up with something

better and he doesn't mind who he sells it to.

We can't investigate him just because he's smart.

Every security analyst we have is telling us something is deeply wrong

about Dr Vince. Your mission is to infiltrate his research facility.

A place like that's going to have unbelievable security.

Yes, which is why you're taking this - a vibration sensor panel.

VSP. It shows the location and movements of everyone

within 200 metres metres, making them easy to avoid.

You leave in one hour. Find out where he's getting his ideas from.

WHOOSHING

PHONE RINGING

St Hope's. Kenneth Flatley speak...

-PHONE RINGING

-St Hope's. Mrs King. ..Really?

..Oh, wonderful.

..Immediately?

..No. No, I'm sure that will be fine.

..Eh, goodbye. She got in!

Well, I suppose it's good news.

But I will miss her. And I was rather hoping she would help us win

the borough's creative writing competition this year.

We're the only school that's never won it.

Mr Flatley, we've discussed this.

We have to do what's right for the child.

Yes.

Yes, you are absolutely right.

And anyway, with the buzzing hive of talent we have got in the school,

I'm sure we will do as well in the competition without her.

Let's give her the good news.

-What?

-Only the cleverest children in the country

get a place in the new National Academy of Brilliance.

Everyone there is a future world leader.

Or a Nobel prize-winner.

This is a proud day for St Hope's. Almost as proud as if we had won

the borough's creative writing competition.

I don't suppose you've finished your entry?

-Mr Flatley!

-Sorry. Sorry.

How can I be starting a new school TODAY

and this is the first I hear about it?!

You father and I applied on your behalf.

You beat over 10,000 other applicants.

-Does Frank know about this?

-What's it got to do with the caretaker?

What do you mean, there's nothing we can do?

..We are MI9. We can do anything.

..OK.

..I understand.

I'm sorry. It's like talking to a brick wall.

I promise I will keep trying

but, right now, we're just going to have to go along with it.

She can't leave, Frank.

As I was just explaining, there's nothing I can do.

But we need her for the team.

Relax, guys. Leaving the school

doesn't mean I have to leave MI9, does it?

-Oh, come on!

-I'm sorry.

If you're not a student here, I have to suspend you from operations.

I'll be in touch. I promise.

Frank?

We'll resign.

You can't. The country still needs protecting.

It's so unfair.

Where's all the security? I thought this place would be like Fort Knox.

Hey, look!

Come on.

-They're all empty.

-The same.

This one's got something in.

A load of empty boxes and a year's supply of hand cream? Weird.

We need to get in there.

And I know how.

Judging by the look on your face, I'd say there was an 80% probability

-you're lost.

-Only 80?

-Yeah. A 20% chance you always look like that.

I'm looking for my classroom. Must have taken a wrong turn

-and ended up in the computer room.

-Nope.

This is the classroom.

I mean, you should see the computer rooms. That's really high-tech.

I mean, even the chairs have Sat Nav.

-It's a bit different to my old school. I'm Rose.

-Button.

Is it your first day here, as well?

-Yeah. And my last day.

-Yeah, I didn't really want to stay here either.

You know, I thought this what would be smarter than me,

but they're not all that bright.

Weird. I heard the kids were the smartest in the country.

Hey, I've got to go for a test soon, but do you want to hang out later?

-Test?

-Yeah, they test the intelligence of all new kids.

Are you, er...

Button?

That's me, Mr Smith.

(I was talking to him 10 minutes ago).

Oh, er...this way.

Oh!

Next time, we're having a box each.

I've got cramp every...where.

This is so weird.

Let's have a look around.

According to this, there's no-one in the whole building.

That explains why there's hardly any security -

nothing to protect.

Hang on.

I'm struggling to get a reading from this room.

Vince's office.

Maybe we'll find out where he get his ideas in here.

It's clear.

Must have been lead paint or something.

I don't get it.

If there's no work going on here,

where is Dr Vince getting his ideas from?

This makes no sense. I mean, look.

The only things on his desk are takeaway menus,

an empty tub of hand cream

and a note to call someone called "Shmit".

We've got to call Frank.

Who's Frank and what are you doing in my office?

Hover shoes. I can't believe it.

Hey, Button. How was the test?

Oh, really hard.

-I can't even remember what they asked me.

-Ouch.

I'm not looking forward to my test.

Still want to hang out later?

Hang out of what?

It's Vince. My office. I've caught a couple of industrial spies.

Please. We're not spies. We're fans. We just wanted to meet you.

Yeah. You're the best.

-Really?

-You're like the smartest dude in the whole world.

I've got posters of you on my wall and everything.

They sell posters of me?

You've got your own fan club.

Frank's the chairman. That's why we had to call him.

Don't worry.

They're just fans.

Show them the way out.

Frank, I can't take a second day here.

It's weird. The kids are weird.

'There's high security.'

It's a high-tech school. They're probably worried about thefts.

Look, I'm really sorry, Rose. I just don't have time to help right now.

The Vince mission is my priority. It's a shame you're a good student

'otherwise you could just get yourself expelled.'

-Expelled?

-'Rose?'

Rose?

I'm going to have to shower for an hour.

That guy had this slimiest hand in the world.

It must be all that hand cream.

What did you find?

-Nothing.

-What you mean, nothing?

-No research. No computers.

No workers. No security. Nothing.

The only things we found were some takeaway menus

and a note about someone called, um, "Shmit".

If anyone's doing any research, not Dr Vince.

Shmit? His name came up before.

Has anyone seen the new girl?

Er...

Rose?

-Where have you been?

-Mind your own business!

I'll come to class when I like.

If you don't like it, you can expel me.

Oh! No need for that. Good display of individuality.

Well done. Erm, top marks.

Oh!

There. I knew it. Shmit was the winner of the inventors competition.

I think we've got some footage here somewhere.

VIDEO VOICEOVER IN SPANISH

It's in Spanish.

This year's winner is Professor Shmit

and his method of transferring brainpower from person to person.

Wow! Your Spanish is great.

Weird thing is, Spanish isn't one of the languages I speak.

Now I remember, MI9 looked into Shmit's invention.

We thought it would be useful to have more intelligent agents.

Oh! Thanks very much.

-What was the problem?

-Too dangerous.

The person the brainpower's taken from is left a dull idiot.

So, hang on. This Shmit guy is a brilliant inventor

and has a machine which can make him even cleverer?

We've been investigating the wrong person. Shmit's the real inventor.

Vince must just be working as a front.

We've got to go and find Shmit.

And fast. If he's using that machine to increase intelligence,

he's destroying lives in the process.

Now class. We're going to be looking at evolution.

LAUGHTER

Who did this?

That would be me.

Very imaginative.

Well done. A-plus.

What have I to do to get expelled from this place?

Expelled? You've only just arrived.

We haven't even tested you yet.

I've had enough of this.

LOCK KEYPAD BEEPS

LOCK KEYPAD BEEPS

-What are you doing? Can I help?

-I don't think so.

I need to crack a multi-birational security code to get out

and, frankly, you don't seem up to the brainy staff right now.

Yeah. You're right. I mean, if I had one of those things,

I'd probably leave it on the factory setting or something.

One, two, three, four, five...six.

Thanks!

-Why is no-one listening to me?

-Your new teacher

-thinks you're brilliant. Why is that a surprise?

-It's not just that.

The whole school is weird -

the students, the teachers, the security.

Look, I'm sorry I haven't got you out of there yet,

but this really is not a good time.

-We have to find this Professor Shmit.

-He's really familiar.

He's like an older version of my teacher Mr Smith.

-Maybe you should check out the Academy?

-Rose,

we really miss you and it is great to see you,

but this Professor Shmit is out there hurting people,

-so we need to work now.

-Forget it! I'll investigate the place myself.

Well, so far,

this is the best entry we have for the creative writing competition.

Is it good?

No. It's the...one, two, three...

fifth worst thing I have ever read.

I'm beginning to regret letting Rose go. I mean, listen to this.

"Who could have known that blond, floppy-haired Jim Platt was really

"the amazing superhero known as The Morris Dancer". Amazing!

Do you think so?

Yes, it's actually worse than the other five.

Oh, I thought it was rather good.

Did you write this?

-Certainly not.

-Mr Flatley,

do you fantasise about

-being a Morris-dancing superhero?

-Of course not.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I'm going to lessons. BELLS TINKLING

SHE CHORTLES

30% pills. That's why Smith looks so much younger than Shmit.

Huh?

I think Mr Smith is Professor Shmit.

Who's Professor Shmit?

-Mr Smith.

-Oh...!

Who's Mr Smith?

You know, you were a lot brighter

than this when we first met.

Rose? Do you think we could do your school entry test now?

Yeah, that's great. I've got a couple of questions for you, too.

So, how long have you been here, Mr Smith?

Gosh.

I-I...I can't remember.

Right.

Let me know if this gets too hard.

OK.

Question one.

Which of these is not a fruit?

-Are you kidding?

-I don't think so.

-I mean, one is a carrot.

-Well...

What noise does a dog make?

Woof, miaow, squeak?

I may need extra time on this one.

Take as long as you need.

I'm kidding.

It's, em...

It goes, er...

Weird. Oh, no!

I'm forgetting stuff just like Button.

I've got to remember.

Smith, Shmit, MI9.

I'm sorry.

Did you say something?

Please! Stop.

Don't worry. It will all be over soon.

I know who you are!

Who am I?

Can't...remember.

We must have missed something.

He can't just vanish.

She snuck out again.

She must really hate that Academy.

Come on. Let's go and apologise.

I feel bad about earlier. No, right.

Beckham is a model AND a footballer.

This stuff is, like, so hard.

Rose, we wanted to say sorry.

-Who's the scruff bag?

-You know who I am. What's going on?

-Davina and Donovan are helping me with my poem.

-Give them a blast.

They won't know what's hit them.

My name is Rose, It's the name my Mum chose.

This is how my poem goes.

I have some toes

and a nose

which I blows when it flows. Did I mention my name is Rose?

< Wow!

Deep.

Thanks guys. You're the best.

Erm, Rose. Could we talk to you in private?

I have no secrets from my best friends.

Seriously, Rose. Come on.

Where do you want to go? Scruffs R Us?

Yeah, um, Rose, we need to talk.

-Talk to the hand!

-Shmit at Acad...

-Get off!

-Do you remember writing that?

Do you remember going to a hairdresser, like, ever?

Shmit must have used the machine to transfer brain power at the Academy.

He used it on Rose.

She must have written it on her hand so we'd know what happened.

Come on, we've got to get to the Academy.

We've got to take Rose with us.

There might be a way of reversing this process.

I mean, it is our fault. We should've listened to her

when she said her teacher looked like Professor Shmit.

Rose, you're coming with us.

OK, fine! But can you two put a bag over your head or something?

I mean, I have an image to keep up.

Don't touch the hair!

Was that...Rose?

Yuh-huh. You should read her poem.

-It, like, R-O-X - rocks.

-A piece of creative writing by Rose?

Ah, the competition is in the bag! Hand it over.

This is Dr Vince.

Did the latest batch of hand cream arrive?

This place is kind of familiar. Have I seen it on TV?

You used to go to school here.

Oh, yeah! There's Mr Shmit. Hi...

I think that was Shmit.

How can it be? He's too young.

30% pills.

-What?

-What?

-No, what did you say?

I said, "What?" What did you say?

She said, "30% pills."

They were one of Dr Vince's inventions.

They make people look a lot younger than they actually are.

Rose must have found some before she turned into this big dumb idiot.

Hey, who are you calling big?

Let's follow him.

-Rose's brain power.

-That explains a lot.

Hold it right there, Shmit.

Who? < It's over.

We know who you are and what you're doing.

What am I doing?

You're stealing the future of this country,

you're taking the intelligence from all the brightest kids

and giving it to yourself.

I thought I was...

making hand cream.

Don't pretend to be dumb.

I don't think he's pretending. Think about it -

all the brain power goes into that hand cream, and who do we know

who always uses that?

Dr Vince.

But if he really is the one behind all of this,

then where's the research for his inventions going on?

His facility was empty.

Vince has absorbed the brain power Britain's brainiest kids

through that hand cream.

He's doing all the research in his head. He's THAT smart.

It explains why I could suddenly speak Spanish too.

I got some of the cream on my hand when I shook his.

OK, but didn't Shmit invent the machine?

He did. But the old fool let me test it on him.

I sucked his brain dry.

Since then, I've absorbed hundreds of intellects,

but this is just the beginning.

I'm building Academies in every major city.

Soon, I will have stolen the brain power

of every clever child in the world.

EVIL CACKLE

Why does the evil genius always tell you their whole plan?

Maybe because he knows there's nothing you can do about it.

-We'll see about that.

-Oh, my dear girl!

I'm too smart for YOU!

Every attack you can think of, I've already worked out

ten ways of stopping it.

You can't win!

But don't worry - soon, you'll be too dumb to care.

BEEP!

Oscar, didn't he invent see-in-the-dark contact lenses?

-Head for the door.

-Too late!

RASPING RIPS

And they said my giant sticky-back fridge notes were stupid!

They ARE stupid!

Wire them up to the think tank!

Yes, Dr Vince.

-No, no!

-Stay over here, please.

Leave them... Leave them alone!

That's it, Rose. Get it off me!

She remembers the machine. She's trying to protect us.

Out of the way!

Too dumb to help, I'm afraid.

Get ready to say goodbye to what little intelligence you have.

Give that to me!

Come and get it.

Come on, brainiac! Outwit me!

-Mr Shmit, can you help me release my friends?

-I'm not sure.

Dr Vince usually gives me my instructions.

It's OK. I'm in charge now.

Oh, right.

Hold still.

Thanks, Rose. I thought we lost you there.

-Sorry we didn't believe you about the whole Academy thing.

-That's OK.

-Look at me!

-Look out!

I have absorbed the power of 100 more brains!

HE SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGES

King four, checkmate! Boil for 20 minutes and then leave overnight...

Chimpanzee, must fly away, approximately...

Wow, he's really lost it.

I guess you can be too clever.

HE GIBBERS

Are Shmit and the students OK?

Yes. In fact, Shmit's decided to keep the Academy open,

with MI9 backing.

It could be a good source of agents.

What about Dr Vince?

Not so lucky. He's been talking gibberish

ever since his bath in the fountain of knowledge.

-And his inventions?

-Useless!

He was so paranoid somebody would steal them

that he didn't write the plans down.

-Rose, brilliant news!

-I'm not moving to another school!

-No,

but you did win the borough's creative writing competition

with your poem. APPLAUSE

The judges said its simplicity made it a work of genius.

I don't even remember writing it.

Oh, such modesty!

Allow me to remind you.

"My name is Rose.

"It's the name my mum chose.

"This is how my poem goes.

"I have some toes and a nose,

"Which I blows when it flows.

"Did I mention, my name is Rose?"

LAUGHTER