Family Tree M.I. High

The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

Old-school spies have had their day,

and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

Hidden in a place no villain would think to look.

Welcome to MI High.

So, class, what will investigating your own family trees give you?

Rose?

Knowledge of where we came from, the factors that shaped us?

And pride in one's roots gives us self-respect. Eh, Timothy?

Nah.

-You earn respect on the streets.

-He still lives in the Stone Age, sir.

Yes.

Now, you can either work on your own or in pairs.

This is so cool.

-We can find out everything about each other.

-Hmm.

Hey, why don't we work together?

Er, no. My family's really boring.

VIBRATING

Sir, can I go to the library to do some research?

Of course you can, Rose.

Sir,

it's my hay fever again.

SHE SNEEZES

Oh...

ALARM BEEPS

BELL

Meet Katrina Houseman. Katrina works at the University of South Wessex.

I want you guys to help me retrieve Project N80.

N80 is a real live Neanderthal.

A prehistoric man?

No. Neanderthals aren't men. They're a totally different species.

Yeah, we've got a few in our class.

-What exactly were you studying?

-Sorry, my work is top secret.

We're MI9. Nothing's secret from us.

His bones were discovered in a peat bog in the Uzhman region,

and brought back to the UK.

We extracted Neanderthal DNA and created N80.

DNA, prehistory, pretty amazing stuff.

He looks sad.

I think he looks good for someone who's a thousand years old.

We should call him Andy.

-Andy?

-Yeah. Like Ne-Andy-thal. Plus, he looks like an Andy.

-N80 is very valuable and now he's been kidnapped.

-You lost Andy?

-When I did my rounds today, his cage was empty.

-Security cameras?

They've been down all week.

It's not the first security breach at the lab.

-Katrina says she's being followed.

-Followed? By who?

-Our main suspect is the People's Republic of Uzhman.

-Uzhmanis?

They make even SKUL look cuddly.

-Let's hope they don't have Andy.

-You're kids.

MI9 think you can tune into N80's child-like instincts

and help me find him.

Intelligence believes the Uzhmanis learned of Andy

and his fighting potential.

They plan to create an army of cloned Andys

to sell to the highest bidder.

To bring your family tree presentations to life,

you can either write a poem about your ancestors,

or you can dress up as them.

-Wicked!

-These online family records is rubbish!

The official records won't list your second name as 'Doggy', will they?

Why? Is it out of date?

No, you need your real name, not your nickname.

Nick? Who's Nick?

-Keep me posted.

-Shouldn't we be out there looking for Andy now?

Don't worry, you'll get your chance.

I've got helicopter patrols and SWAT teams combing the area.

Cool, I'll check the reports as they come in.

I need to do a crime scene analysis of the university lab.

Wait, you can't go without your gadgets.

The digimitt.

Use the right glove to erase documents.

Minute impregnated fibres remove ink but leave the paper intact.

Use the left one to absorb information.

So, you're a scientist too?

Compared to what you do, it's just dabbling.

MP3 players that emit a calming sound frequency.

-Just the ticket for pacifying Andy.

-Or Scoop Doggy!

Pretty odd that the lab's security cameras weren't working.

Find out everything you can about Katrina.

Thought I'd work with Katrina on profiling Andy.

Use my 'childish nature'... Is that it?

-Yeah. To try and work out where he might head next.

-N80's very shy.

I suspect he'll be lying low somewhere.

HE GROWLS AGGRESSIVELY

Get out the way! Is that... Is that a caveman?!

Was Raymond's ancestor a polar explorer?

Nah, sir. He was more into houses and cars.

Oh.

Oh!

Any luck, Avril?

My family's boring, so I'm looking into Oscar's instead.

Right...

Wow, this is cool!

TRACKING DEVICE CRACKLES

Why can't we have proper gear like everyone else?

Andy's been sighted!

MOBILE BEEPS

It's Rose.

-I'm at Katrina's lab.

-'Anything interesting?'

There are scratches on the inside of Andy's cage, but no forced entry.

The lab records show Andy tried to break out a while back.

-Since then, Katrina has kept him locked up 24/7.

-'That's terrible!'

I've got more tests to run.

Priority one is to get him away from the public.

Then back to St Hope's?

If the Uzhmanis are after him, it's the only safe place.

Andy?

It's OK, don't be frightened. I'm not gonna to hurt you.

Mmm. Good.

HE GROWLS SOFTLY

Stick together, this creature is dangerous.

HE GROWLS SOFTLY

MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES

'Hi, Rose. We've got Andy, we're now going back to HQ.'

Good work. I've just found minute traces of radioactive isotope.

My guess is it's been used to mark Andy.

'So, someone's tracking him?'

Yes. I don't know who yet, but we need to be careful.

Sir!

Donovan might be famous, on his Dad's side!

His name is Stan Hardy and he played the Hackney Empire in 1903. Awesome!

Stan the Caveman!

I'm a big fan of his old comic routines.

"Let's all 'club together', ladies and gentlemen!"

Yes, well...

Oscar's family tree is really weird.

Oscar Dixon-Halliday, same birthday as Oscar, same birthplace as Oscar.

It's almost as if they're the same person.

LIFT DOORS OPEN

N80! You found him!

HE GROWLS AGGRESSIVELY

Not exactly that glad to see you.

Don't project human feelings onto him.

He's just feeling the stress of a new environment.

Hey, Andy.

Look at this.

A smile response!

He never did that before.

Maybe he didn't have anything to laugh about.

I follow approved guidelines for N80's care.

-Not that it's any of your business.

-ALARM BEEPS

Red alert, guys. We have uninvited guests.

TRACKING DEVICE CRACKLES

And this is where your great, great, great grandfather was born.

Earth!

No, no.

Where my finger is pointing.

It's just a bunch of letters. I can't...

Marakamesh, the capital of North Sahal.

I've never heard of it.

We need to work on your geography, Timothy.

Your grandmother was born in Southend,

and you hadn't heard of that either.

THEY LAUGH

There's no Oscar Dixon-Halliday online.

But in the parish records, he's there next to Oscar.

Two families with the same history.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

-MR FLATLEY:

-And remember... if you do borrow any costumes,

don't forget to put them back where you found them.

And don't run! Hello?

-May I help you?

-Leave this to me.

We pretend we're new parents, looking for school.

Please to greet you!

God bless the Queen!

Yes, indeed.

Kenneth Flatley, headmaster.

-And you are?

-Parent.

Of children. We like to make place here for our childrens.

Ah, prospective parents!

Please, you make tour of school for us?

Erm, yes. Yes, of course. This way.

So, how many children have you got?

I have seven sons and three daughter.

All proud patriot.

Almost a football team!

In homeland we play horse rugby.

Really? And, erm, what line of work are you in?

I help find things for peoples.

Lost property, eh?

Yes. I think you can call it this.

TRACKING DEVICE CRACKLES

Who are they?

Uzhmanis. Recognise them?

No. I never saw the people that followed me.

They seemed to get on our trail very quickly.

They're tracking him via an isotope, remember?

Yeah, but maybe someone at the lab gave them a bit of inside help?

I don't want those thugs to get their hands on N80.

I came to you, remember?

Also, there's a chance his DNA may become unstable.

-I need to get him back to the lab as soon as...

-Andy!

HE GROWLS

You stay here, Katrina.

Keep watch for Andy on the closed circuit television.

Andy doesn't want to go anywhere near Katrina.

-And why was the CCTV down at the lab?

-I know.

I've got concerns about Katrina too. But let's keep an open mind for now.

Oscar!

-How come you're missing all this family tree stuff?

-Erm...

I knew you were busy, so I did some digging myself.

I've found some crazy stuff about your family,

and this boy, Oscar Dixon-Halliday.

-You have to come and see.

-I really don't have time.

-No, this is amazing.

-Look, I told you before.

-My family are boring.

-No, that's where you're wrong!

Just drop it!

I know you don't mean to be rude and ungrateful.

She's going to blow my cover. We have to get her off my case.

You two get that prehistoric truant back to HQ.

Leave Avril to me.

Andy didn't break out.

The cage door was opened from the outside.

That means it was either the Uzhmanis...

Or Katrina.

-DNA?

-Only Katrina's. We need to find out what she's up to.

I don't care about Katrina, I just care about Andy. We should split up.

Too close to the mission?

Definitely. We might need a plan B.

HE ROARS

Caravanning is the perfect way to appreciate Britain's charms!

Well, this is our science laboratory.

I'm rather proud of this one, myself.

Right! Time for a cup of tea.

Ah, your famous Earl of Grey.

Yes, we like try.

Good. If you'd all like to follow me, then.

Lots of parents choose St Hope's as their school of preference.

Now, who's for milk?

Hmm!

HE YELPS

It's OK, don't be frightened.

Ah! What are you children doing?

I, erm...

Sorry, Avril.

Er...well, er...

Oh, Mrs King.

You weren't supposed to see this.

Donovan's trying the costume for his caveman relative.

Mr Flatley's family tree project?

Ah, yes.

It's not right just yet.

Not right?

It's... Well, it's amazing.

This even feels like real hair, Donovan.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

That's the end of break. Hurry along now!

I'm gonna try and throw the Uzhmanis off the trail.

Andy, I need to borrow one of your hairs.

HE GROWLS

If we put this isotope-coated hairs somewhere else,

it'll confuse the Uzhmanis' tracking device.

And I'll smuggle Andy back to the HQ.

Andy! Wait!

Chestnuts! Chestnuts! Get yer 'ot chestnuts!

Donovan! Your other caveman costume was much better!

TRACKING DEVICE CRACKLES

N80's still on the run. I need to intervene.

TRACKING DEVICE BEEPS

Badly built garbage.

We follow them both.

Andy! Stop!

You don't need to worry.

Me and the team won't let anyone hurt you.

HE WHINES

Why were you so upset there?

Is it cos she caged you up?

Freedom?

Is that what you want?

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

Andy!

HE ROARS

You take that one. You, that way.

It's Carrie.

I'm with Andy on the roof, situation critical!

RADIO INTERFERENCE

HE ROARS

Andy?

RADIO INTERFERENCE

-It's gone dead.

-I knew Carrie was getting too close to the mission.

We might need that plan B we talked about.

Frank, it's Oscar.

Carrie's on the roof with Andy and we've lost contact with her.

'I've got just the thing, the dragon chopper.

-'We'll be able to see exactly what's going on up there.'

-Great!

Evenin' all! My name is Stan the Cave...

Ah, I wondered where you'd got to.

Someone is trying to trick us!

Erm... You're welcome to stay.

ANDY ROARS

It's time for plan B.

Are we sure about this? There are major risk factors.

Here's the dragon chopper. Can carry a camera or weapons,

-finger-touch control.

-Perfect.

-Well, let's get a camera on them!

HE GROWLS AGGRESSIVELY Andy?

Stop it! You're scaring him!

-Plan B?

-Plan B!

Plan B?

-What's going on?

-We're dealing with it.

No! What are you doing? I knew I shouldn't have trusted you!

ANDY!

Why did you do it?

And why didn't you stop him?

I didn't know.

I'm so sorry.

Too bad.

But we get paid whether he's dead or alive.

CARRIE: Andy isn't going anywhere!

You couldn't stop us taking him from your laboratory,

and you won't stop us now.

His last resting place is here.

They're right. Andy's ours.

POLICE SIRENS

Go!

Wait! We have to stop them!

Their van's on CCTV. I'll alert MI9.

Let's get Andy back to HQ before anyone sees us.

I'm so sorry, Andy.

Get away from him!

-He moved!

-It worked!

What?

What worked?

The dragon chopper's smoke bomb contained a sleeping gas,

double strength.

So you weren't trying to kill him?

-Of course not.

-Putting him into such a deep sleep

was the only way to fool the Uzhmanis into thinking he was dead.

It was a risky plan.

We didn't tell you because we didn't know if it would work.

I guess I can forgive you.

Why did you have me followed at the lab?

Because I was frightened MI9 might use Andy like the Uzhmanis,

to fight.

That's crazy.

Not really, an army of cloned Neanderthals

doesn't bear thinking about.

We were all just trying to stop that from happening.

It was the Uzhmanis who broke out Andy.

They then cleverly left some of Katrina's DNA

to make her look guilty.

Welcome back, Andy.

We've found Andy the perfect new home, the Rift Valley in Africa.

It's remote enough that he'll be safe from humanity.

You were right, Carrie. My lab was no place for Andy.

He'll be much happier back in the wild.

-And I can still carry out my studies.

-Keep in touch.

It's a shame we can't tell the world about him.

It's a shame modern man can't be trusted.

Now, who's next?

RAP MUSIC PLAYS

What has this cacophony got to do with family trees?

It's me national anthem, miss!

Me family tree shows I is royal.

28th in line to the North Sahali throne.

So you lot better start biggin' up the respect!

-Respect comes from the streets.

-Ugh!