Doppelgangers M.I. High

Very good. Now, make haste.

ALARM RINGS

You must move faster!

Good. Now go, go, go!

Excellent work!

What fools these people are, believing that I, Andrea Ivanovic,

would turn my back on my mother country.

Now we can take down MI9, and then, my children...

-ROBOTIC VOICE:

-We will crush your enemy.

CACKLES

'The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

'Old-school spies have had their day,

'and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

'Hidden in a place no villain will think to look...'

welcome to MI High.

BLEEPING

EXPLOSION

A touch too much TNT, I fear.

PHONE BLEEPS

Good morning, sir.

Not only do I have to spend the day looking like an idiot,

but I have to spend £1 for the privilege too.

Avril, hello, it's International Day,

one day we don't have to wear school uniform.

It's better than stereotyping an entire nation

through the use of their national costume. We're all individuals.

That's what we should be celebrating.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Bull murderer!

Yeah, all right, all right. Who's stupid idea was this, anyway?

-BELL TINKLES

-Bonjour, les enfants.

Faites attention des champignons oranges.

Ils ont le souffle mauvais.

And in English, that is...?

Hey, kids, be careful of the orange mushrooms. They have bad breath.

Ah, and what nation are you representing, young Timothy?

I's a Polish rapper, innit?

No, I think you'll find that Carrie is the Inuit.

LAUGHS

Get it? Innit - Inuit?

Oh, I have a good feeling about today.

BELL TINKLES

MI9 Nerve Centre, last night.

Recognise anyone?

They could be anyone. The gas masks hide their faces.

These were taken from CCTV directly outside the building

-just after the robbery.

-Photographs can be faked.

I had them tested. They're genuine.

I don't want to say "I told you so", but...

well, I told you so.

-Can't trust kids!

-No way is this what it seems. They would not do that.

-Loyal to the last, eh, Frank?

-Look, what was stolen?

Names, aliases, locations,

every detail you could ever want to know about every British spy.

Their lives are in grave danger.

Our country could fall if these files fall into the wrong hands.

Bring your treacherous child spies in, Frank.

MI9 headquarters were broken into last night.

-Highly classified files were stolen.

-What's that to do with us?

-You were caught on CCTV stealing them.

-Yeah, very funny!

-I'm serious.

-That's not me.

-I know, but the evidence says otherwise.

Until I can prove it, you three are fugitives.

Take these keys, the address is on the label, you won't be found.

No, I'm not running. TYRES SCREECH

Trust me on this. Now go!

-But...

-That's an order!

-After them!

-Go!

Now!

That was very stupid, Frank.

DIALS Arrest him.

When I was given this assignment,

my brief was to protect Oscar, Rose and Carrie at all costs.

-You can't arrest me for doing my job.

-Watch me.

PHONE BLEEPS

Such very warm, puppy-dog eyes.

Yet such a cold, cruel heart.

Well, you've messed with the wrong lady this time,

and I'm going to enjoy making you pay.

Soon, MI9 will be on its knees.

And so will you.

It's so public, it's the last place anyone would look.

-And no-one can see us.

-Holographic windows.

All they see is the toys. Clever, isn't it?

I don't get it. None of this makes sense.

How can we have been captured on CCTV when we weren't there?

-Editing, the use of green screens, there are many ways.

-Guys, look.

'News just in. A senior MI9 agent has been arrested...'

Frank! They've taken him!

'..after a major security breach at Thames House.

'Three rogue agents are still on the run.

-'More as it comes.'

-We should hand ourselves in.

-Frank shouldn't take the fall.

-We're his only chance, Oscar.

I know. I care for him as much as you, but maybe we should come clean.

Give up? Frank would spit if he heard you talk like that.

Hey, come on, arguing among ourselves will get us nowhere.

Frank said trust him, so that's what we'll do.

-Remember our training, we'll be OK.

-I hope they're not hurting him.

-Who is it?

-Pizza delivery.

No-one here's ordered a pizza.

-It was ordered by Big Bird.

-Why isn't Big Bird in his nest?

-Because the chicks have flown to Amsterdam.

-It's from Frank.

Quelle heure est-il?

-Quelle heure est-il?

-DOOR OPENS

This is Councillor Brown from the town hall. He's looking for Oscar,

-Rose and Carrie.

-Oh, they're not in trouble, are they?

On the contrary, they've won a competition.

The main prize is a tour of the municipal offices and a pencil case

bearing the borough's official insignia.

Oh, what I'd do for a pencil case like that!

Anyway, the kids you want will be very easy to spot,

it being International Day.

Brown to all agents. We're looking for an Inuit, a Japanese girl

and a Spanish bullfighter.

Detain on sight.

Do I sound like I'm having a laugh, Agent Matthews?

-One slice.

-No, there's plenty of food in the kitchen,

so why would Frank send us a pizza?

Unless it's a message of some kind.

Maybe the message is, "It's time for lunch."

Sorry, I can't think straight on an empty stomach.

I remember once sitting a history exam.

All I could think about was pork pies and the jelly in the pies...

Carrie, I'm trying to concentrate!

Come on, Frank, what are you trying to tell us?

And why double jalapeno peppers? He knows I can't stand them.

Hang on.

Oscar, you ruined it!

It's a message in Braille.

Are there any languages you don't understand?

Braille is a binary coding scheme, Carrie, not a language.

I knew that. I was just testing.

Sorry.

OK, it says...

.."Check out Operation Looking Glass. Be careful."

We have to get back to HQ.

Right, Frank, we can do this the easy way...

..or my way. Your choice.

I've told you everything I know.

-Come on, Frank, I wasn't born yesterday. Where are they?

-Who?

What I have in this briefcase is not pleasant,

but I will not hesitate to use it.

You've better bring it on then.

So be it.

Those suits is freaking me.

Word on the street says they're a crack skivers squad.

-They won't find many skivers IN school.

-That's why they is crack.

We'll never get past them. They're everywhere.

Who's got cash on them?

Easy money. Mwah!

Yo, homie, wicked threads.

Probably best not to talk.

< Stop right there!

No, no, no, stop, stop, stop!

They aren't the competition winners.

Oh!

African burrowing grubs.

Once you have been tied down, I'll insert one into each of your ears

and wait while they burrow into your skull.

The pain is unimaginable, I hear.

I think you may have been misinformed.

This particular species is from South America not Africa.

I had the honour of spending the summer with a tribe

who camp on the banks of the Amazon.

Quite a delicacy, in fact.

Mmm, full of protein and, if memory serves,

have a distinctive...

..mmm, nutty flavour.

He loves me...

..He loves me not.

He loves me...

-Transmission is ready to go.

-Excellent news.

I do love the internet.

Soon the world will name its price.

Log me on to Stuff-for-crims.com.

The time has come.

MI9's secrets for sale.

Let the bidding commence.

You pop the kettle on, there's a good girl.

Yes, of course...

Charge her up.

I knew I should have gone for the nuclear option.

This will insert a microchip under your skin

which will release a truth serum OX519.

Within minutes of being injected,

you will be blathering out all your closest secrets.

Um, I've been inoculated against that.

MI9 policy, one, I believe, you implemented.

Argh!

Security level one, password protected.

Here, spypod. This should crack it.

Come on...

ELECTRICAL WHIRRING

Someone is attempting to access the Operation Looking Glass file.

Well, well...

Those annoying little MI9 agents that you were built to replace.

Time to terminate them. You know what to do. Now go!

It's picked up that we're using a code breaker and blocked it.

So what? We're going to have to guess the password?

-Yes, and we've only got three tries.

-Impossible.

There's no such word as impossible, Carrie.

-Oscar, do you want to guess first?

-Try Agent Stark.

It's amazing how many people use their name as their password.

Two more tries. Carrie, your guess.

CARRIE BURPS

Sorry. I think I ate the pizza too quickly.

That's it, Carrie, you are a genius!

-I am?

-Frank does everything for a reason.

Jalapeno peppers.

-Rats!

-Frank is also a stickler for detail.

Double jalapeno peppers.

We're in!

You've dumped those dumb costumes?

Right on, guys, solidarity.

What country are you now?

BEEPING

See you later, guys.

Operation Looking Glass is based at a secret facility called SCAB -

searching for cybernetics and bionics.

The man running it is...Agent Stark!

Why am I not surprised that he's involved?

Was involved. Stark shut it down six months ago.

I still don't get what this has to do

with us supposedly breaking into MI9 headquarters.

It's obviously connected otherwise

Frank wouldn't have pointed us in this direction.

We need to bust him out.

I dropped a pencil sharpener tracker on him.

-He shouldn't be difficult to find.

-If he's...

Carrie, we will free Frank.

Lenny, my old handler, moved on. I don't want to lose Frank.

BEEPING

Frank's being held at a secure unit in the basement of Thames House.

-The crown jewels would be easier to get to.

-You said...

I know what I said, Carrie, I never break a promise.

So, what's the plan.

BEEPING

The Mole Machine.

BEEPING

Targets are absent.

Stupid machines.

Return to base... Immediately!

I truly hoped it would not come to this, Frank.

But you have left me with no choice.

Tell me where they are, Frank.

I will not turn my agents over to you, they are innocent!

WHIRRING

May God forgive you.

Do it.

FRANK TITTERS AND GIGGLES

Please! Oh! Argh! Stop!

Tell me where they are, Frank!

FRANK HOWLS

..Fact, you see...

BEEPING

My... My...

Who stole my bike?

-How long?

-Any minute now.

FRANKS TITTERS Tell me and I'll tell them to stop.

You'll have to do better... Woo-hoo!

..If I'm going to crack!

Argh! Oooh, aaah!

BEEPING

Get ready for impact.

Brace!

THUD!

Aargh!

EXPLOSION

Frank!

Thank goodness you're OK.

-Arrest them!

-Where'd you get this one from? Rent-a-thug?

It's the end of the journey, kids. Next stop, prison.

Ignore him. He can't see the truth for the egg on his face.

You are pushing it, Frank.

MOBILE PHONE RINGTONE PLAYS: "The Cheeky Song" by The Cheeky Girls

Stark.

Why would I want to look on Stuff-for-crims.com?

It's impossible.

That's us!

Oh, no.

You knew about this?

ROBOTIC VOICE: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our auction.

It's live, being broadcast over the internet.

I'm delighted you could join us, Agent Stark.

You probably want your files back. You still have plenty of time

-to make a bid.

-In cash.

To be transferred to the bank account number we have provided.

It's already over 40 billion!

If we enter this bidding war, we'll bankrupt the country.

If we don't,

every British operative's life will be in grave danger.

What do you know of Operation Looking Glass?

It's top secret.

If you don't tell them, I will.

I am so rich, I am jealous of myself!

Ha!

Soon, MI9 will fall, and I will have my revenge on him...

once and for all.

You must tell them. Their careers are hinging on this!

-There's nothing to tell. I closed it down months ago. It's too...

-What?

Well, dangerous!

Andrea Ivanovic, a brilliant Russian scientist that we turned,

devised a way to make exact replicas of the human form.

Only they weren't strictly human, more...mechanical.

Robots, you mean?

Robot is such a crude word.

What, then?

Cybernetic bioforms. Look.

-A bit like robots, but...

-But?

Stronger, faster, deadlier, and highly intelligent.

And you replicated us?

What better subjects? Kids,

with the strength and mind of the best-trained soldiers.

We experimented on rabbits first, then moved to humans.

Then the rabbits went mad - started to attack anything that moved.

A thirst for blood like you've never seen.

Which is when I shut down Operation Looking Glass.

-But it didn't shut down, did it?

-Seems not.

Recriminations can come later. Our main priority is to stop those files

getting into the wrong hands. The broadcast was live.

If we break the signal,

-we can't find the exact point it was made from.

-No need.

I think I might know.

-What are they doing here?

-I forgot they were still there.

I'll handle it.

£75bn and rising!

Who said crime doesn't pay?

Let us celebrate, my children.

Run along to the corner shop and steal me some chocolate.

And no nuts!

Good news, kids. You're to be released without charge.

Agent Brown will see you get back to school safely.

You're forgetting

you've broken the Freedom Of Citizens act. Article four, section two.

It states that no individual

may be held without access to legal representation.

And, in the case of minors, such as we are,

under no circumstances may we be held without a parent or guardian

in attendance at all times.

Newspapers are going to have a field day when this gets out.

-Innit!

-Innit!

Auction ends in four minutes.

I'm sure I'm taller than that.

It's a Titanium JX Series. Impossible to pick.

This should do the trick.

But stand well back.

Despite the size, it makes a pretty big explosion.

Twist to activate.

BEEPING

BEEPING GETS FASTER

SMALL THUD AND HISSING

Silent, but deadly efficient.

With this fortune I will be able to continue my work,

build my army, model my world.

Slight flaw in your plan. We'd like the memory stick, please.

I knew you'd come.

I did all this for you, Horatio...for us.

(Horatio?!)

There is no us, Andrea.

A-hem. It's over.

It is over when I say it is over!

-Wait a minute. You did all of this because you were dumped.

-By him?

The game's up, Andrea. Hand over the memory stick.

Never. Attack!

We can't hold them off, Frank. They're too strong!

-We must get her to stop them!

-Call them off!

-They'll kill them!

-Yes...they probably will!

They don't stand a chance.

-Face your own cybernetic!

-What's happening?!

They're programmed for self-preservation,

so they won't attack themselves.

Finish them. FINISH THEM!

Just stay still and keep eye contact. And your nerve.

Attack them. I order you!

I am your creator, you obey me!

My babies...

What have you done to my babies?

I believe an apology is due...

Horatio.

Are we going on a date, my darling? The opera, perhaps?

I am so glad to be back here.

What will they do with those things?

They'll melt them down. It's the age of recycling.

I almost feel sorry for them.

They were machines. Nothing more, nothing less.

I'm afraid there's been a terrible mistake.

These three ragamuffins aren't who you think they are.

-My word, that's a lot of prizes.

-These ain't prizes, they're bribes!

-From the secret serv...

-Some gifts.

To help us compensate us for a misunderstanding.

Compensate you? I don't think so.

-Those, those, and those.

-Sir!

-Sir!

Yours, I think. Won fair and square.

It's a shame you didn't get to visit the municipal buildings.

-Frank.

-Headmaster.