The Face of Revenge M.I. High

ELECTRONIC WHIRRING

COMPUTER BEEPS

-COMPUTER:

-'Face scanning in progress.'

'Creating face code.'

MACHINE BEEPS

MACHINE WHIRRS

'Face code accepted.'

'Transmorphing in three...'

'two...

'one...'

'Face change complete.'

MOBILE PHONE BUTTONS BEEP

Tell the Minister we're ready for him.

Tomorrow, midday.

'The 21st century faces a new kind of threat,

'and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.'

'Hidden in a place no villain will think to look,

'welcome to MI High.'

# If you want to get down and dance tonight... #

'And now on Squizzle FM, it's the new one from Calvin Lame.'

# Come on down to my party

# Yeah, yeah, yeah... #

I love it, it's such a good song.

So, you can write a song about anything?

Yeah, pretty much. Like, what did you have for lunch?

I had rice pudding.

# Life is hard

# Like a school rice pudding

# When you've got no friends

# And you're this good looking... #

-Loser!

-Terrible.

-Rubbish!

I think you're way more talented than Calvin.

HE SCOFFS

BUZZING

Yeah, well, I guess the world's never going to know.

Totally stick to your day job!

CROWD SCREAMS

Have you seen how many fans are out there?

Yeah, that's because they like me.

In fact, the only person who doesn't like me is my producer.

Your new single, what's wrong with it?

For a start, it's Calvin "LAHME"!

And look at my head. It should be twice as big!

I thought it was big enough already.

OK. All right, I'll sort it!

Just remember, Cuthbert, this face sells records.

HE SIGHS

Those fans, Spencer. Tell me those fans are going to pay.

-COMPUTER:

-'Face scanning in progress.'

# Come on down to my party

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Dancing all night to my party

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Come on... #

Calvin Lame?

I say we arrest him for writing...

# Come on down to my party... #

ALL: # Yeah, yeah, yeah! #

Actually, he didn't write it. This man did.

His record producer, Cuthbert Peabody.

-So, that guy's a master criminal?

-Possibly.

In recent weeks, top secret computer components have been stolen

-from this MI9 research unit.

-How? There must be cameras all over.

Exactly. To bypass the cameras, the thief must have expert knowledge.

So, MI9 fitted some equipment with homing beacons,

and left it out as bait.

Sure enough, within days, it was stolen.

And they traced the beacon back to Peabody?

Sorry, but how does a music producer steal stuff from MI9?

That's your mission. Infiltrate CP Records and find out how.

And why.

Cool! How do we infiltrate a record company?

Zoe, are you sure about this? It could be really dangerous.

Oh, come on. He's going to be so excited about it.

What?

"Not in the diary?!" Listen, sweetie, do you know who I am?

Aneisha Jones, Britain's hottest new music agent.

So, either you make this happen, or Peabody's history, capisce?

Look...

you know I want a record deal, but what if he doesn't like me?

Byron, just be yourself.

And maybe floppy up your hair up a bit.

Mr Peabody will see you now.

Er, hello? This should have coffee in it.

# Music

# It's time to face

# The music

# The music, honey. #

Yeah, that's great, Calvin. That's a wrap.

And, more importantly...

my face code is now hidden in a pretty darn good pop song.

DOOR OPENS

Mr Peabody? Aneisha Jones. And this...

This is the next biggest thing in pop.

OVER RADIO: 'Zoe, use your spy pod to scan for concealed technology.

'We need to know what Cuthbert's doing with those stolen components.'

MACHINE BEEPS SLOWLY

MACHINE BEEPS FASTER

AIR DECOMPRESSES

# Yeah, I know that you love me... #

THEY SNIGGER

# Yeah, I know that you love me. #

Wait! Why are you laughing at him?

Because on here is Calvin's new single...

which will doubtless be downloaded by millions of his stupid fans.

-Hey!

-So, I don't need you,

and I don't need Mr Moany, moany, moan, moan...

At least I write my own songs! All you care about is making money.

OK, now why don't you just calm down and give me that back?

All I want is a chance to record one song, and...

-and maybe a music video.

-Byron!

I just want everyone at school to see I'm a not a loser.

So, what'll it be?

HE SIGHS

The Minister's seeing the transmorpher at noon.

We've got an hour to get the song and get out of here.

Look on the bright side, guys.

What better way to promote my new single?

Please can I have an autograph for my friend? He's called Frank.

Get a life!

Hey, guys, look who's here!

CHEERING

Maybe Byron was doing us a favour.

At least this way we can keep an eye on Cuthbert.

Now, look here. You're making no such pop video...

even it is for this "Lame" character.

Ah, but it's not for him, is it?!

It's for...

Byron.

Byron?!

I say, how exciting!

CROWD CHANTS: Video! Video!

# It's hard to say I love you

# But I know that you love me. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hey, Byron. Maybe I could play a backing dancer?

And I don't know if you've noticed,

but I'm the only one that can sing in tune around here.

Hey, where did Cuthbert go?!

HE GASPS

Good question.

Get off!

ENGINE REVS, TYRES SQUEAL

Cuthbert!

You can't go without ME!

Cuthbert?!

-We didn't mean to let him get away.

-We were being happy for Byron.

The main thing is the designs. Tom's made progress.

It's a face scanner, part of a machine called the transmorpher.

Yes. It's situated at the MI9 unit where Stella's been working,

from where those computer components were stolen.

He could've used them to make a face scanner.

-OK, one question. Why?

-We don't know.

The scanner turns the face into a sonic code.

To actually use it, you need the transmorpher.

Good luck with stealing that thing!

But the Minister for Security is coming for a demonstration today.

Meanwhile, you've got a security leak.

I need you here, to protect the minister and the machine.

-You have 15 minutes!

-We need to go. Tom, stay on comms.

Zoe, keep an eye on Calvin Lahme. He may be involved.

Minister, it's an honour.

Oh, please. I do love a bit of techno wizardry.

Blue suit. Red tie.

Honestly, the man's got no sense of style.

The transmorpher, Minister, represents the ultimate in disguise.

No longer must we rely on costume, make-up and prosthetics.

Now we can change an agent's face entirely.

So, whose face are you going to give him?

I thought my colleague, Frank London.

But don't worry, sir. The process is completely reversible.

Yes. Very funny.

-Again?

-No, you're my favourite singer just now.

Hey, Byron, have you seen Calvin?

Byron? Byron!

Zoe, can you get a life?!

-GIRL GIGGLES

-Just sign here...

Thank you for agreeing to be the test subject

for this demonstration, Minister.

Frank?

First, Frank's face is converted into a sonic face code...

-COMPUTER:

-'Face scanning in progress.'

# You're beautiful inside You know... #

'Creating face code...'

The code is then loaded into the transmorpher,

which converts it into transmorphic sonic waves.

Those alter your entire appearance.

So, if you're ready, sir?

'Face code accepted.'

Activate!

'Transmorphing in three...'

'two...'

'one.'

MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY

'Face change complete.'

So...

How do I look?

Now, why don't you listen to me, Mr McNab?

I need you to get me a limo, pronto.

Do you think you can do that? Do you think you could manage that?!

Just pick up the phone and say, "I need a limo for Mr Lame."

It's not "Lame", it's "Lahme", do you understand that?

Why are you hiding?

Everybody thinks I'm interesting, have cool stuff to say...

-Like, "Get a life."

-No, look...

I'm sorry. That wasn't me.

You know how...

..sometimes you're someone, and in school, you're someone else?

I can relate to that.

At home, I'm just Brian.

Brian Ditchwater.

Dull as ditchwater.

I thought if I was Byron, people would like me more.

Well, they seem to now.

It's only cos I made a pop video.

You were the only one that listened to me before.

I told you to get a life.

I'm just as bad as him.

Just listen to me, actually. I have to get out of here!

Do you have any idea what it's like to have hundreds of screaming fans?

"Oh, we love you, Calvin! Oh, we love you, Calvin!"

They're driving me bonkers!

CROWD SIGHS

Guys...

Guys! Come on. Joke.

Please, I was joking.

I'm guessing Cuthbert's involved.

I don't understand. The transmorpher should've contained Frank's code.

My ears! What have you done to me?!

We've already scanned your face. I CAN change you back, I promise!

It's just a smoke grenade.

It does make a bit of a bang.

EXPLOSION, ALARMS WAIL

You two, outside. We'll guard the Minister.

Minister. I thought we left you inside.

I snuck out the back to give you chaps a hand.

Hey, maybe I should have one of those.

I'm the Minister for Security!

Look out!

BUZZING

HE WHISTLES

Relax, Minister. Those guards are ready for anything.

Freeze! Nobody move.

I thought you said they were ready for anything!

Good afternoon.

Oh, yes, but perhaps not ready for that.

Spencer...

Good old-fashioned disguises. Always the best.

And guess who stole those computer parts.

Hands up!

Or whatever people do in these situations...

PENCIL BEEPS

COMPUTER BEEPS LOUDLY

Yo, Danny boy. How's it going?

Dan? Dan?

-OVER RADIO:

-'Tie them up, and make it tight.'

'What better way to breach your defences'

than making the Minister for Security look like me?

And I'd imagine you'd like to know HOW I did this.

Spencer, I feel like a tune.

Don't you?

# You're beautiful inside You know... #

It's Calvin's new song.

Written by me, and containing my very own face code...

which, by the looks of things, got into the machine before yours did.

Blimey, my ears are big!

(I hope you're getting all this.)

I'll arrange for a SWAT team.

-Tom, what's happening?

-A hostage situation.

I don't know if Calvin's involved. Keep an eye on him just in case.

You know...

..when I was young...

..all I wanted to be...

..was a pop star.

But, apparently...

MICROPHONE FEEDBACK

"..I didn't have the right face."

Here we go. Issues.

Yes, "issues," and my "issue" is that people are morons.

They don't care about music,

they just want some chisel-jawed poster boy.

-I get it. So, you started writing songs for Calvin instead?

-Exactly.

15 number ones, I've written.

And yet, how many people recognise me out in the street?

Huh?

They think I'm a nobody.

But I'm not a nobody!

I'm a...

-I'm a...

-Peabody?

Spencer...

Tell me you've hacked into Squizzle FM.

No. No.

No, he can't.

He's sending transmorphic waves down the radio.

Millions will be listening. They'll all be transmorphed!

-COMPUTER:

-'Face code accepted.'

'Transmorphing in three...'

Now, the whole world...

'..two...'

-..will know my face!

-'..one.'

# You're beautiful inside, you know

# It matters more than what's on show

# Even though you hide in the crowd

# We can't all be upfront and loud

# Everybody knows my face and name...#

SHE SCREAMS

# Going to be a winner in the fame game

# Come on, baby, feel the vibe

# Every time... #

You've got to do something!

-I know. I heard the song over comms.

-'How come our faces weren't changed?'

The waves only went over Squizzle. But millions listen to that.

-You'll never get away with this!

-Oh, really?

But if millions of people look like me,

how will you find me?

The most famous face ON THE PLANET...

..and there's nothing you can do about it.

If I could work out the opposite code,

I could change everyone's faces back.

But that could take years!

'Pity we can't just play the opposite song.'

Say that again?

Shame we can't just play the opposite song.

Wait! Maybe we could.

The code makes up the song.

So, the opposite notes would make the opposite code.

Did I just have a better idea than you?

There's only one problem. I can't play music.

No. But we know someone who can.

We should get out of here. Destroy the machine!

Zoe, we need you quick!

I'm on it!

This is all Donaldson's fault.

Donaldson!

Mother, it's me, Kenneth.

You know you said you'd love me no matter what...?

At least you're not listening to Squizzle.

Byron, I need you...

Byron? What's with your hair?

Today made me realise...

Byron was an idiot.

So, from now on, it's Brian...

and no more stupid songs.

ELECTRICITY CRACKLES

Get out.

I've got it.

-COMPUTER:

-'Warning. Warning. Warning. Warning.'

'Error. Error'

'Warning. Warning. Warning. Warning..'

GRUNTING AND GASPING

I'll handle him. You take care of the machine.

'Warning. Warning. Warning. Warning.'

The transmorpher! It's malfunctioning!

-I can't get out!

-Aneisha?!

'Transmorphing in three...'

'two...'

'one...'

Zoe, come on! We need that music!

Brian, please. Just because you're famous,

doesn't mean you have to turn into Calvin Lame.

No! It's a slippery slope.

I'm not ending up like that.

Brian, please. Just play one last song...

Just for me?

I can't. I don't even have a guitar.

How about this one?

Figured I should make at least one friend around here.

-Yeah. Now you can play the song together!

-Yeah!

-What song?

-Your new single.

I've had enough of that cheesy rubbish.

No, not the cheesy pop version. What would be the exact opposite?

Well, I could change the happy major notes to sad minor notes, I guess.

If only I had the music...

-COMPUTER:

-'Error, error. System critical. Overload imminent.'

It's everybody who's ever been scanned into the machine!

Never mind that. It's going to explode!

Dan, you've got to get her out!

It's been a while since I jammed...

One, two, three, four...

# You're beautiful... #

The opposite song, and it's creating the reverse face code.

Never thought I'd say this, but let's play Byron loud!

# Even though you hide in the crowd... #

'Warning. Error. Error.'

# We can't all be upfront and loud... #

That noise. What is that?

# Everybody knows my face and name

# Going to be a winner in this fame game

# Every time... #

The music. Where's it coming from?!

# NY City

# I'm sitting pretty... #

-COMPUTER:

-'Face code accepted.'

'Reversing transmorphing. In three...

'two,

'one...'

No!

# It matters more

# Than what's on show

# Even though you hide in the crowd

# We can't all be upfront and loud... #

'Dan, to change everyone back,'

you have to make sure this is going through Squizzle.

# Everybody knows my face and name... #

It's going down Squizzle FM.

# I'm going to be a winner in this fame game... #

Donaldson...

# LA town

# You can't keep me down

# NY City

# I'm sitting pretty

# It's time to face the music

# It's time to face the music

# The music now. #

Well, you were rubbish.

What's going on?!

THEY LAUGH

Hey! Keep your hands off me. Behave yourself.

Weird person.

-Freeze!

-MI9, nobody move!

Stay where you are, you're under arrest.

Hands up...

or whatever they say in this situation.

HE GROWLS

Hey, look who it is.

Listen, guys, I was an idiot.

I know I disrespected the people who got me where I am today.

You know, the top.

So, to say I'm sorry...

how about...free tickets to my next concert?

For everyone.

CROWD CHEERS AND SHOUTS

Maybe we could go together?

Yeah, that would be great!

I thought he was never going to ask you out on a date.

A date?

And Byron...

I posted your video on the internet.

And guess what?

You went straight to number one!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Number one in Boldovia, but, you know...

Look at that!

You should have it.

Don't let it get to your head.

Thanks, Brian.

I think it's really cool that you're still able to be yourself.

Are you kidding?!

People don't want Brian. They want Byron.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to mingle and stuff.

You know, I never did see his music video.

I mean, seriously, can you imagine?

THEY CHUCKLE

# Life is hard

# Like a school rice pudding

# When you've got no friends

# And you're this good-looking

# I'm feeling like an orange

# I'm peeling my soul bare

# And you know that I'm deep

# Cos I've got floppy hair

# It's hard to be a teen

# But harder to be me

# Harder than exams

# Or than a frozen pea

# It's hard to be a teen

# But harder to be me

# Harder than Pythagoras

# And harder than PE

# It's hard to be amazing

# And harder to be free

# Hard to say I love you

# But I know that you love me

# Yeah, I know that you love me. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd