The League of the Mata Hari M.I. High

The novice will take the oath.

Do you pledge to obey the league

above all others

even if it means the loss of your friends, your country,

or your own life?

I do.

The 21st century faces a new kind of threat

and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

Hidden in a place no villain will think to look -

welcome to MI High.

After recent poor performances, and having...

Report?

We can confirm you do look stupid.

We're providing security for the Minister of Security.

If it goes wrong we're going to look stupid.

..thorough appraisal of the situation.

I am announcing widespread cuts to the security services

including MI9, MI16, and MI19.

Minister, will this have...?

I'd like to hand over to MI9's Stella Knight

to explain why this won't compromise national security.

This means massive cuts to staff and operations.

It's hard to see why it won't compromise security.

-Minister!

-Minister!

ALL SHOUT

-Frank, what's this about cuts?

-Calm down, everyone.

Actually, I have reason to believe we're rather well thought of

at MI9 HQ.

What makes you think that?

Afraid I can't say.

OK, hand it over.

Ah, bu-bu-buh.

I'm sorry, this must remain secret.

Look, you'll just have to trust me on this - your jobs are safe.

Nice.

What's The League of Mata Hari?

Ah!

Well done, Frank.

Oh...

Have we won an award?

I have been named Local Deputy Head of the Year.

Hm!

Oh, well... congratulations.

I think it's very important for the school

that its head teachers have all of their awards on the wall.

I can see that you have all of yours up.

Right, Frank, I want this lot on my wall before lunchtime.

Ten metre swimming certificate?

Doggie paddle is a very underrated stroke.

They have to wear a cloak and mask and pass three tests at their HQ?

Mata Hari was a famous spy 100 years ago.

There's nothing here on The League. I'll try LMH...

Yes.

I've found a report on MI9's server...

It was ten years old, though.

-VIDEO:

-Agent Hamish Campbell.

I've been investigating a secret group within MI9

known as The League of Mata Hari.

They ordered the destruction of Global Powertech's Tokyo HQ,

and the assassination of the King of Zabaya.

And Frank wants to join?

They believe they're acting in the country's best interests,

but their schemes are illegal, immoral,

and cost thousands of lives. They must be stopped.

We have to warn Frank before he gets involved.

We should get our facts straight first.

This report's ten years old, and it could've been wrong even then.

It is hard to imagine Frank joining a criminal gang.

We don't have a mission yet. Why don't we do some digging?

Dan and I can check the address.

We'll talk to Campbell about The League. Let's go.

Third in a tug-of-war? How is that even possible?

Oh, it takes years and years of practice.

For real. And a rope with three ends, innit.

The point is, Felicity,

if you work hard, maybe you'll win as many awards as me.

What do you think?

I think I'm so bored right now my brain might fall out.

SHE CHUCKLES

What's that really small one there for?

The award for most ridiculous awards?

Well, I may not have won a best - what was it?

Oh, yes, Local Deputy Head Award,

but have you ever been invited

to join a top secret teachers' organisation?

-What?

-It's clearly very exclusive.

Let me see that, please.

Oh, no. The first test is within the hour.

Must dash.

If you get in, it'll be the first test you've ever passed!

Frank!

You won't believe what Mr Flatley just told me.

Apparently, he's been selected...

Well, charming.

The guy's a legend.

He abseiled out the Russian Embassy using the wool from his jumper.

-You're not going to ask for his autograph, are you?

-Ha, ha.

I still don't understand how he ended up here.

I mean, he was the agency's best spy.

How come he got stuck behind a desk?

Just knock on the door, brainbox.

Hi. We want to ask you about The League of Mata Hari.

I can't help you. Go away.

Ow!

I can see why you're such a fan.

Not exactly welcoming, is it?

Makes me want to nose around more.

LOCK BEEPS

I'll go over the top.

Hold on...

I saw Tom do this once.

LOCK CLICKS

Useful things, SpyPods.

Look, I shouldn't have filed that report. I made a mistake, OK?

A friend of ours is about to join.

Well, what's that got to do with me?

I've only just got this promotion. I don't want trouble.

-Who'd give you trouble? The League?

-I didn't say that!

You're putting words in my mouth.

What are you so scared of?

I'm not scared of anything.

Now get out of here before somebody sees you.

Don't let him join.

Once you're in, they won't let you out alive.

Are you OK, Mr London?

Yeah. Thanks, Roly.

Just disappointed.

I seem to have missed out on a rather exciting opportunity.

I know how you feel.

Too late for the chips again?

No. Poetry fieldtrip.

HE CHUCKLES

Sorry.

It's OK. People don't believe I like poetry because...

I'm Roly.

I won't make that mistake again, Roly.

BEEPING

Oh, sorry.

Work to do.

Oh, metal bin, what a messy state you're in.

I wonder if your name is...

..Lynne?

Sonic Stunner... Mind Mincer...

The Atomiser in the case is deadly.

It annihilates everything it hits.

Yeah, but it's on show like it's in a museum.

Frank has stuff like this.

He keeps them as souvenirs.

MUFFLED VOICES

We of The League of the Mata Hari must know when to be silent.

Not one sound will pass your lips.

What is your name?

Kenneth Flatley.

I'm very pleased to meet you.

You are to remain completely silent during the test. Do you understand?

I do.

Would this be a good moment to tell you about my ideas

-for educational improvement?

-No!

This would be a good moment to hold your tongue.

Sorry.

Oh, I say, do we have a funny handshake?

I was thinking something like...

HE SQUAWKS

The test of silence is over.

If you have passed you will hear soon about the second test.

Oh, right.

It might surprise you to know that this was my first test of silence!

Ah!

What on earth was that?

I'm really not sure.

Felicity. Just waiting for some test results.

I is waiting for a rejection letter from a talent show, innit?

Oh, h-how do you know it'll be a...?

Sorry. How is you know it'll be a rejection letter, innit?

They always is. I is ahead of the times head-bro.

It would be OK getting one saying, 'yes'.

Obviously I'd rip it right up.

I ain't goin' on one of them shows.

I'm an artist, not a performing dog.

Wait a minute, shouldn't you be in class?

Teacher was a no-show.

That is appalling, who was it?

You.

Oh!

Oh, crikey.

We need to talk about The League of Mata Hari.

-We spoke to Hamish Campbell.

-You did what?

He investigated them ten years ago.

I know. He sent his ridiculous video to everyone in MI9,

sparking an investigation into a social club for spies

that cost millions.

We went to the League building too. They've got some serious hardware.

Stella's a member.

The weapons are trophies, and who do you think put me forward?

Look, Hamish was permanently affected by paranoia serum

on a mission. The League turned down his membership

and he saw conspiracies everywhere.

I suppose that explains why he was so scared.

Anyway, I'm not joining.

You won't believe it, but I lost the invite.

Actually, we know who found that.

Agents, we need to resume protection of the Minister.

Mission details are on the stick.

We need to put on a good show.

-The Minister's looking to make cuts in our department.

-On it.

DOOR CLOSES

You sent Flatley to take the test.

Flatley?

Did you really think they wouldn't notice?

"Excellent misdirection in the adoption of a crazed character

"to deflect questioning...

"made for the best test pass we've ever seen."

-LAUGHS:

-They actually thought it was you!

Looks like we'll be spending more time together after all.

The details for the next test are at the bottom.

Finally, the ballet trip -

now, everyone who applied can go, apart from Roland.

What?

Well, we assumed you applied as a joke.

Why does everyone always think I don't want to do stuff?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Mr Flatley, can I have a word?

Oh, er... all right. Er, class dismissed.

Mr F, I've just heard there was a mix up

and you got my invite to the secret caretakers' club.

Caretakers? But...

Oh, well I-I don't mind, might be nice to...

Sorry, Mr F - caretakers only.

Look you'd be bored anyway - we just sit around all night

chatting about U-bends and cleaning graffiti off toilets. All right?

Keri, are you in position?

Affirmative - in position.

Tom? All set?

Area scans all clear.

Ah, Minister, we'll be looking after you.

Where's my usual security? I didn't authorise a change.

Trust me, we're better.

-The area's locked down.

-Not so much, Dan...

Check your perimeter. I'm seeing an energy spike.

Protect the Minister!

HIGHPITCHED TONE

We've got a message for you.

Stay away from The League of Mata Hari.

BEEPING

SIREN WAILS

Tom...

You all right?

Keri, you all right?

I-I'm fine. Why? What's happened?

Just stay where you are.

Sonic Stunner.

Just like the one we saw at The League.

Why would they take the Minister?

It's like Hamish said - his cuts are threatening MI9's powerbase.

One of them gave me a message - "stay away from The League."

He was so confident he even took his mask off, showed me his face.

They think they're untouchable.

They must know that we spoke to Hamish.

Looks like he was right all along.

I hate to think it, but Stella sent us on this mission.

-She was at the League building.

-Stella?! Is that even possible?

Right, we find the Minister and we take them down - whoever's involved.

We should tell Frank.

At least he won't be at The League after he missed the test.

Novice, you have passed the test of silence.

You must now take the test of full disclosure.

I am ready.

Tell us all that may be used against us

from those you loved as a child to those you have wronged as an adult.

Leave nothing out.

I stole a car.

I was three years old and it was in my friend's toy box.

Actually, this could take a while.

Still no answer from Frank.

Are you sure about this? Tom said the guy was a wreck.

Hamish is still our best bet if we can't get a hold of Frank.

We can't trust anyone else in MI9.

If he used to be a great agent,

maybe he just needs some reminding of that.

Well, that was a good start.

Hamish, you're right about The League.

We're going to stop them, but we can't do it alone.

I know you're scared,

but they won't stop until someone stands up to them.

If you'll do it, we'll stand with you.

It's been a long time since anyone's believed in me.

What do you need?

It's hard to believe they're all involved.

Maybe some don't know what's going on.

This one does. He's the one who threatened me outside the Ministry.

He was with Stella at the press conference.

And the League building.

Mike Stern. He ran the original investigation into the League.

He said I was paranoid.

And he's the one person we know for sure is involved.

If we find him he'll lead us to the Minister.

I'll use the MI9 mainframe to track him.

Hamish, if you start a search into Mike Stern

they'll know you're looking into them again.

My time for hiding's over.

Here he comes.

Careful. He's got that Atomiser from the trophy cabinet.

Could you wait here and warn us if any more come?

Won't you need me inside?

All due respect, you've been out the game a while.

Sorry, Minister, but we warned you what the League would do

if you messed with MI9.

One blast of this and there'll be nothing left of you.

I'm sure your replacement will listen to reason.

Get the Minister.

You don't know what you're dealing with!

You're just a villain with a badge.

Ah-ah.

Oh.

Shame, really.

You'd have made good members of the League one day.

- Are you OK, Minister? - I'm fine, thank you.

We'll put you into protective custody.

Stern and his friends won't be able to hurt you.

Hah, I wasn't hurting the Minister.

I was looking after him.

Isn't that right, Minister?

Don't be ridiculous.

Er, no, no - he's right, no harm done.

I can provide several MI9 heads of department to confirm my story.

Members of the League, I assume.

I saw you when you threatened me.

Got any witnesses?

Cos I've got plenty saying I was somewhere else.

Minister, shall we go?

No, you're not taking him. You can go, but he stays with us.

Hah. I'm Head of MI9 security.

What's to stop me calling in for support and taking him by force?

Well, the League works in secrecy -

do you really want all that attention? People talk.

I won't say anything, I promise.

And I'll reverse the cuts.

Make sure you do or I'll be back to finish what I started.

Nice to see you again, Hamish.

And sorry to hear you got the sack.

Oh, no...

that's tomorrow.

Minister, he tried to kill you.

You've got to tell people about this.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm sorry. I can't help you.

As a result of my order...

..his sister lost her life.

That's it.

-We will consider your...

-Actually, there is something else.

I had a relationship with a fellow agent in MI9.

It was against protocol, but I loved her.

I should say I love her still.

This fact was known to the League.

The agent in question said the same thing when she took the test.

You, she...

-Right.

-You have passed the second test.

The final test will be the Oath of Life.

It will be taken tomorrow in front of the entire membership.

Only then will you truly be one of us.

Well, I may have lost my job but I got my dignity back.

Hamish.

Look I've just come from the League building.

I can tell you there is nothing sinister going on.

Apart from Mike Stern kidnapping a Minister

on direct orders from the League.

We nearly got atomised rescuing him.

But he won't press charges because he's too scared of them.

You're wrong. Almost every head of department's a member.

I mean, this is Stella we're talking about.

Look, if we had a plan that would prove one way or the other

what the League was up to, would you help?

I'll do whatever I have to to clear Stella's name.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All going according to plan.

Right, see you tomorrow.

KNOCK AT DOOR

What do you want, Frank?

I've just heard what my agents have been up to.

No idea what you're talking about.

Of course. But I wanted you to know I've stood them down

and given them a reprimand.

They won't be bothering the League any more.

And that was it.

Look, this won't affect my chances of joining, will it?

Well, whatever. Thanks.

Tell Stella I'm sorry.

-LAUGHS:

-Oh, cheer up, Frank!

Stella vouched for you.

And anyone Stella says is OK is OK by me.

Not that I'd say anything if it wasn't.

I mean, she's ruthless.

It was her idea to vanish the Minister.

I mean, I just wanted to put the frighteners on him.

Well, no worries, Frank.

You'll be one of us tomorrow.

Tomorrow -

I look forward to it.

Stella...

When did you lose your sense of right and wrong?

Frank, we're spies.

Right and wrong is a grey area - you know that.

What's this about?

Stella, whatever you've done, don't go to the ceremony tomorrow.

Don't be ridiculous. Why wouldn't I go?

You're right.

Why wouldn't you?

-I'll see you there.

-Frank...

Frank!

SHE CHUCKLES

The novice will take the oath.

Do you pledge to obey the League before all others,

even if it means the loss of your friends, your country,

or your own life?

I do.

Then accept the cloak of the League.

Never.

Take them!

It's a trap!

Arrest her.

-Why? I don't...

-Save it.

Frank!

How did you convince the Minister?

I told him there comes a time

where you have to stand up for what you believe in.

You taught me that.

And I played him Frank's recording of his meeting with Stern

to show we had a confession.

Frank...

..MI9 need a new leader,

and you're the highest ranked field officer that hasn't been arrested.

Sorry, I'm an agent - not a politician.

To be honest, after today

I'm not even sure I want to be an agent any more.

We need you, Frank.

Oh, come on, you can't blame yourself. She fooled everyone.

Erm...

What about Hamish?

He was the best agent we had once upon a time.

He was the only one who stood up to the League from the very beginning.

Couldn't have done it without him.

Hamish, you told me it was time to stand up and be counted.

I'm asking you to serve your country as the new Head of MI9.

Sir...

..it would be an honour.

ALL HUM

-CHANTS:

-The Free Spirit Society of St Hearts

will perform the sacred sign.

-Oh, do we have to this stupid...?

-Bu-buh!

Novices will speak when spoken to.

Well, how come you get to be the leader, anyway?

The sign, please.

ALL SQUAWK