The Monster Party Matilda and the Ramsay Bunch

Hi, this is my life.

'I love cooking.'

They smell amazing.

'My dad's a chef.'

-Ironman Tilly!

-Ironman Daddy!

'But I think I'm already better than him.'

LAUGHTER

My name's Matilda Ramsay but people usually call me Tilly.

Meet my embarrassing family.

Mum - she wears the trousers

and is the only one Dad's afraid of.

I'm loving the hair.

Big sister Megan.

She's all grown up now

and crazy to get on with life.

Jack. He's so good at sport,

he's going to be playing for Britain soon.

This is Holly.

She is determined to be the greatest fashion designer of her generation.

Dad - even though he's hard on the outside

he's soft and mushy on the inside.

And he's...quite a good cook, too.

Excuse me, how about very?!

Matilda.

Matilda!

When you're the youngest, you have to fight to get noticed

so that's why I love to cook up a storm.

This is my world.

-No, Daddy, now we need...

-LAUGHTER

This summer we've come to Los Angeles and I'm doing a food blog

about some of my cooking and what me and my crazy family get up to.

My sister Megan's GCSE results are out tomorrow

so I wanted to throw her a scary monster party

and show her that it's not just exams that are frightening.

I want to cheer her up.

# M-Monster... #

'My family loves to scare each other

'and I've got loads of horrible masks.'

Not bad but I think I might need something else for the party.

-'THUNDER CRASHES'

-And that's some frightening food!

So, I'm making scary severed hands,

terrifying goblin heads

and really bloody cakes.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

My brother came up with the idea of this dish

so I call it Jack's Severed Hands.

'SCREAMING'

This severed hand is just like a giant meatball.

'In a bowl, soak bread in milk and add your minced meat.'

I'm going to fry some onions.

And add a bit of garlic to them.

As my brother says, it keeps the vampires away.

But I don't think he realises

it also keeps lots of other people away.

'When the onions turn golden they're ready to add to your mince,

'along with some parsley, thyme, salt and pepper.'

With all these herbs in, it's going to be really flavoured

and especially with the onions.

'Add in beaten eggs and give it a monster mix-up.'

This is where it gets very messy and you have to roll up your sleeves.

It's quite monstrous.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

Eurgh!

It's a bit like very runny Play-Doh.

'When it's all mixed together, shape into hands.'

I'm grabbing

a big, a big meatball.

And flattening it down in the shape of the palm of your hand here.

'Then add the fingers and, if you're like me

'and you're taking over the kitchen,

'don't forget that your grown-up would like you to ask them first.'

I suppose this will be very handy at a monster party.

It's really cool!

Dad's very strict about me washing my hands

cos you need to be really clean.

Put them in the oven to cook for 25 to 30 minutes.

CAR HORN HOOTS

To make my monster party go with a spooky scream,

I'm sending Megan, Jack, Holly and her best friend, Elsabeth,

off to get horror movie makeovers.

-Hello?

-Welcome.

-Hi.

I hear you guys want to become aliens and monsters?

-Kind of.

-Yeah.

Great.

Los Angeles is home to the blockbuster movie.

There's nowhere better when it comes to amazing make-up

and special effects.

This is for the stage show for Lady Gaga for her meat dress.

Oh, wow!

-Can we touch...?

-Whoa!

-That is so realistic.

-Yeah, you can touch everything.

That's Samuel L Jackson from The Avengers movie.

-Jack, I didn't realise you were in here.

-Oh!

When did you do that?

This lab has worked on everything, from Pirates Of The Caribbean

to Star Trek, so Holly and her best friend, Elsabeth, are in good hands.

'THUNDER CRASHES'

Every alien needs pointy ears.

LAUGHTER

Kevin is going to turn Holly into an alien monster.

Not much make-up needed.

LAUGHTER

And Brad is turning Elsabeth into a zombie.

Then afterwards I'm going to start colouring her and spattering her

with colours and blood and all the normal things that zombies get.

Creating amazing make-up looks takes ages.

They're going to have to sit VERY still for two whole hours.

Obviously Holly puts on loads of make-up all the time

so she probably wasn't expecting it.

She was probably expecting just a mask but it's very fun to see

all that make-up getting ruined and Holly just being annoyed.

It's always funny to watch,

as a brother, it's why I'm here.

LAUGHTER

Whilst they're being kept busy in make-up

I can get on with the party food.

'THUNDER CRASHES'

I love carving pumpkins for Halloween

but my goblin heads are pretty awesome, too, and they're delicious.

'THUNDER CRASHES'

Start by carving a small face, scary face.

This is just like what you do with pumpkins but smaller

and on a pepper.

There are my two eyes on the pepper.

Now it's time for the spooky smile.

'THUNDER'

'Careful with sharp blades...'

And now I'm just going to cut over the top.

'..we don't need any more blood with this food...'

And just a bit on the bottom so it stands up.

'..or severed limbs.'

This one's more of a sadder face.

-Ah.

-RINGING

-Hi.

-Hi, Jack. Hello, Meg.

How are you?

'Good thanks, how are you?'

-Good.

-'Hello?'

-BOTH:

-Argh!

-Who's that?

-Holly.

That's Holly.

-You look a little bit poorly.

-Wow.

Well, we'll see you guys in a little bit.

-See you later.

-Bye!

Bye! Scary.

Oh, look at these faces.

Oh, that one looks quite sort of sad and scary.

-Yeah.

-I'll leave you to it.

OK, see you in a bit, Mum.

'Mum's gone, so it's time to stuff my goblin heads.'

You need to get your rice mix.

'I've got spring onions, mozzarella cheese

'and black beans in my cooked rice but you can use anything you like.'

Doesn't really matter if it goes on the tray.

Might look a bit like its brains are coming out.

'SCREAMING'

Now I just need to get some whizzed-up tomato sauce.

Looks like blood.

'This is just cooked tomatoes, onions and herbs.'

I think today's going to be a day of splatting red stuff around the food.

'Put them in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes.'

'Before the others get back, my mum is going to give me

'a monster makeover of my own.

'Well, she's going to do my nails, anyway.'

How's Dad with scary stuff?

He's a bit of a wuss, isn't he?

When we watch scary movies I do catch him closing his eyes.

This isn't the colour I'd usually choose.

But I suppose it is monster.

-I hope that's not a criticism of the painting, Till.

-No.

This is a very cool colour, I love this.

-You're busting to go back in the kitchen, aren't you?

-Mm-hm.

-Right, like this.

-Thanks, Mum.

-Can you please remember

-they will take a couple of minutes to try.

-Whoops! I got it on my leg.

My bloody cakes are a great gory end

to any monster party.

I think they'll be scary enough

to frighten my sisters.

'SCREAMING'

Put the butter in.

'Then add in sugar and whisk.'

I'm whisking them up a lot

to make sure they're nice and fluffy.

'Next, add in a teaspoon of vanilla, one egg yolk, salt,

'self-raising flour and finally creamy buttermilk.'

And slowly add it in.

'Scoop the mix into the greased cupcake trays.'

I'm going to make a little pattern on the top.

'And pop into the oven for around 20 minutes.'

My brother, sisters and Elsabeth are on their way back.

Tilly's going to be so scared.

'SCREAMING'

-Let's go.

-Let's go!

-Hey, Titch, how are you?

-Hey, Jack, good, thanks, how are you?

-Hey, Till.

-Eurgh!

-Hey, Till.

-MUM:

-Go and grab Daddy.

-That's disgus...

Go and get Daddy to see it.

Stand up, girls.

-Can I take a picture on your thing, Tilly?

-Eurgh, you look gross.

Eurgh, you look like a fish gone wrong.

Eurgh!

Finally, a forehead that's got more wrinkles than mine.

LAUGHTER

Holly and Elsabeth look scary but Dad's definitely the craziest.

Ironman Daddy.

Daddy, go away.

Ironman Daddy.

Come on!

Ironman Daddy.

I've got to a stage where I'm ignoring it.

Any chance of a cup of tea, please, darling?

O-oh, what is going on?

'If you're a grown-up who likes to cycle in the house...'

Ironman Daddy!

'..please check with a responsible child first.'

-Ironman Tilly.

-Ironman Daddy!

-Ironman Tilly.

-Ironman Daddy.

-Ironman Tilly.

-Ironman Daddy!

Ironman Tilly!

Whoo!

-Ironman Daddy.

-Ironman Tilly.

'Kitchen clear of crazy Ramsays, back to the baking.'

They don't look scary at the moment but they're going to in a bit.

Start by poking a hole to about the middle of the cake.

Fill it with the strawberry jam that looks a lot like blood.

Then frost them on the top.

'Then edible glitter for a sinister sparkle.'

I like the way the glitter goes in between where I've iced.

Wow, I'm really happy with this one.

'THUNDER'

I'm decorating the sides to make it look like blood.

The gorier the better.

That's pretty cool.

'Check out some of my recipes on the CBBC website.'

'All of my scary food is ready for my monster party.'

'SCREAMING'

All I need now are the aliens and monsters to set the table.

MUSIC: Summer by Calvin Harris

I'm a fruit fly.

'SCREAMING'

This is a severed hand.

APPLAUSE

Looks really gory, Tilly. Like, really gory.

It's basically a giant meatball.

Shaped in the hand.

-Wow.

-Would you like to take a head?

'I hope this takes Megan's mind off exam stuff.'

-Tilly, this is really good.

-Thanks.

Mm, it's monstrously good.

-Titch, will you promise to make these all year round?

-Yeah, sure.

'SHRIEKING AND SCREAMING'

Argh!

Aa-aa-argh! Oh.

Sorry, sorry! OK...

'Pulling tights over your head? That's not even scary.

'That's just weird.'

Sorry.

Seriously, he is like a little kid.

Now it's time for dessert and my blood-filled cupcakes.

'SCREAMING' Thanks, Till, these look amazing.

-Tasted amazing.

-And it definitely looked like blood.

I love the icing with, like, the little black dots on them.

-Kind of gave a spooky...

-Ten out of ten.

That was really, really good.

Right, guys, we're going to do light as a feather, stiff as a board.

-What is that?

-Everyone on the grass, you'll see.

'It's a magic effect that works spookily well. '

'You can lift up your friends with just your fingertips.'

LAUGHTER

'Make sure whoever you're lifting really is as stiff as a board.'

LAUGHTER

Go, light as a feather, stiff as a board.

LAUGHTER

My monster food went down frighteningly well.

The only scary things left are Megan's GCSE results.

Now it's time for a catch-up with Dad.

Dad, these are the photos of the recipes I made today.

Wow.

Eurgh!

Whose hand is that?

-It's a monster hand.

-A monster hand.

Ah, I've got it. HANDBURGER.

HE CHUCKLES

-That's a good one.

-It is a good one, isn't it?

What else did you do?

I did goblin head peppers, keep scrolling along.

They're amazing.

Ew, what's that?!

-They're my bloody cakes.

-Wow.

The strawberry jam's supposed to look like blood coming out.

They're really gory.

Does Meg look a little bit more relaxed now?

-Cos she's stressing out.

-Yeah, hopefully.

You're going to be there in about four years' time.

-Yeah, it's kind of scary.

-What are you going to be like when you're 16?

I don't know.

-Can I ask you a question?

-No. It's good, it's all good.

-No, one more, one more.

-No, I think I know what it's going to be.

At 16...

-will you have a boyfriend?

-I knew.

Wait, wait, wait for Daddy!

-Thank you, Dad.

-Will you have a boyfriend?

Matilda!

Matilda, I'll pay you not to date.

'THUNDER'

Night, everyone! Love you.

Argh!

-ALL:

-Da-a-a-d!

-You're so annoying.

-It wasn't even scary.

And stop putting tights on your head, Dad.

OK, all of you, get to sleep or I'll really scare you

and take all the phones away from you.

'SCREAMING'

Goodnight.