The Fabulous Monsterettes Me and My Monsters

# You're my might when I'm not feeling strong

# You put me right when I am going wrong

# You're my hands when my arms are tied

# You colour me in when I'm black and white

# You pick it up when I fall down

# You take my frown and you turn it around

# I couldn't wish for better friends

# To share my life with

# Don't be sad or lonely

# If you need someone to hold your hand

# Me and my monsters can

# Me and my monsters can. #

These things happen. People grow apart.

I guess no-one's to blame. I think we're talking about D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

'When adults don't want you to understand what they're saying,

'they spell the word,

'which works on babies and pets, but less so with kids with dictionaries.

-'Now their code is busted wide open.'

-Speak later.

-So, who's getting a divorce?

-No-one you know.

It seems all of my friends' parents are S-P-L-I-T-T-I-N-G up.

OK, wise guy, let's go get the rest of the shopping.

Would Dad ever leave us?

And walk out on his fabulous wife, two beautiful children

and three doting, furry monsters?

He'd be crazy to leave all that behind.

What about you?

Me? I'd leave at the drop of a hat.

Gotcha!

CHOMP! CHOMP!

That bad?

Girl has to sing in class assembly. End of life as she knows it.

I think that's great.

Nothing like humiliation in front of the entire school!

I used to sing.

Really?

I was in a college singing group.

Me and the guys used to have a group too.

We were the Fabulous Monsterettes! We dropped "Fabulous".

Surprise(!)

So we settled on the Monsterettes.

That's us!

# The Monstereeeeeettes! #

Hey, wait! Let's all kick some crazy tunes around together,

feel the groove!

Yeah, never going to happen!

I could have sworn she said no, but in my head that translated as,

"Let's make sweet rock 'n roll music together!"

The Monsterettes are back!

Woo!

-Woo!

-Woo!

What's going on?!

-Is this a multiple-choice question?!

-Where's Fiend?

OK, here's the thing.

We were minding our own business

when the wardrobe exploded!

-Wardrobes don't explode.

-It's a miracle no-one was hurt.

I could have been blinded by a sock!

Why not say what you were really doing?

The Monsterettes are looking for some stage gear.

We're professional musicians, don't you know?!

Is that my dad's old biker jacket?!

If he finds out you've been going through his things, he'll go nuts!

I'm already nuts!

Come on, out of there!

I found this letter in the drawer.

-It was in his underwear.

-That's private.

-No kidding!

-Did you read it?!

-No.

I was keeping an eye on the underpants.

"My darling Nick.

"I had a wonderful evening. I'm floating on air.

"Every time I think of you, my heart skips a beat.

"All my love, S."

Oh! It's a love letter!

And who is S?

My mum's name is Kate.

Do you think Dad is seeing another woman?!

Is that allowed?!

No, that's definitely not allowed! He's married to Mum!

Wow, he's in trouble!

Which makes a change, because it's usually us!

And there's a PS.

"I'll call you tonight. Kiss, kiss, kiss."

Does he mean this night? Tonight, tonight?

-We've got to find Dad's phone and hide it before she calls!

-OK!

But first I've got to find a white sequinned jumpsuit.

It's quiet around here. For once, it's just you and me.

Where are the monsters?

Why? Do you want to cuddle them, too?

Er... You just kind of killed the moment there.

-Then let me bring it back.

-Hmm. What do you have in mind?

Hmm... I think there's something...

-Look, they're hugging!

-Man, he's good.

She has no idea he's faking it.

Now they're kissing!

He's a smooth operator.

-He never kisses me.

-And he never will!

There are dung beetles more in danger of being snogged!

SINGING FROM UPSTAIRS

-Oh.

-Hmm.

OFF-KEY SINGING

STRANGLED SINGING

-Do you hear that?

-Angela is calling the Monsterettes!

No! I'm calling the monsters.

This is serious. You need to help me.

We've got to get to Dad's phone before he speaks to S.

-SINGING CONTINUES

-Are you listening to me?

Yeah, absolutely. 100%.

-Totally focused.

-Good. Come on.

-TUNELESSLY:

-# In the meadow

# Every morning

# You can hear a simple song

# The trees all join the chorus

# And the birds all sing along. #

-DOOR OPENS RAPS:

-# Down! Do it!

-# Shake your hips

-To our funky beat

# I said, dance, do it

# Shake it, baby... #

ALL SING AT ONCE

Whoa! Back up here.

- Oh, no, you can't stop the music now!

We're in the groove.

# I said, dance... #

-What are you doing?

-Singing.

Well, don't. This is my song, all right? Get your own.

- You can't own music, man. It's like free pizza.

It belongs to the world.

- I sound awful. I really need to practise.

- Right. Ahem. Let's get to work. # Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi

-# Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi

-Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi... #

ALL SING TUNELESSLY

Don't make this worse for me than it already is.

- Did I mention we're really cheap?

- Oh, really?

-Go!

-Oh!

-Oh, great gig.

-We really rocked.

-Where did you lot get to?

-Oh.

-Here comes a fan.

-Oh.

Do you want an autograph?

-We don't have time for that.

-It's free. Turn round.

-OK, if it speeds things up.

-What's your name, kid?

-Eddie!

-I know an Eddie.

-I know you do! Me!

-Oh, I thought you looked familiar.

HAGGIS LAUGHS

I found another letter in Dad's desk. It says...

"To my darling Nick,

"I'm counting down the seconds.

"This weekend, we'll be together, and for the rest of our lives.

"All my love, S."

I think Dad's going to leave us.

We're going to be single-parent monsters!

ALL SHRIEK

Why can't we have three parents like everyone else?

We can't lose Dad! Not now!

We've shared so much together.

The good times...

the bad times...

Mostly the bad.

Is he leaving because of me? Because I can change.

It's not you.

Then who shall we blame?

Let's blame S.

I've never liked that letter of the alphabet.

I'm going to drop it from my name.

From now on, you can call me Haggi.

NORMAN GIGGLES

Norman, what are you doing?

He's photocopying his bottom.

MONSTERS GIGGLE

Can we just concentrate on finding Dad's phone before this woman calls?

Is this it?

No, that's a stapler.

Are you sure?

Looks like a telephone. Hello? Ow!

Oh, it bit my head.

NORMAN LAUGHS

-What are you doing in my study?

-Nothing.

NORMAN LAUGHS

NORMAN BLOWS RASPBERRY Norman, that's just plain nasty.

NORMAN LAUGHS Fiend...

-Don't wear my reading glasses. You look ridiculous.

-Argh.

And the spare pair. FIEND SIGHS

-Argh.

-PHONE RINGS

Ooh, wow. Ooh, wow, that tickles.

HAGGIS GIGGLES

Oooh!

- Did you swallow my phone?

- Oooh! Crazy ringtone.

- How am I going to answer that?

PHONE BEEPS

-'Hello, Nick?'

-Oh, it's for you. Go ahead.

Talk. But you might want to shout.

'Nick, are you there?

-'Nick?'

-HELLO!

-'It's Sarah.'

-(It's her. It's S.)

You might have to speak up!

'It's a terrible line, I can barely hear you.'

-I'll call you back later!

-'OK, sure.'

Ah.

OK, give me my phone back.

- Oh.

- Oh.

Urgh.

-It was originally...

-That's her!

That's S! Those are the little pink sausage fingers

that have been writing all the love letters.

Is it any wonder Daddy is leaving us? That's a fine-looking woman!

Yeah. Look at the way her earlobes flap gently in the breeze.

And her nose.

That is a hooter you could chop wood with.

Daddy is a love magnet. She can't keep away from him!

Oh, oh, she's giving him a package.

Oh! Oh! Now they're holding hands!

-It's really quite romantic.

-Mmm.

-S delivered this envelope.

-She came to the house?

-Mmm.

-What do you think is in there?

-A cute little puppy dog.

Open it carefully. Dad mustn't know we've been snooping.

NORMAN JABBERS

JABBERING INCREASES

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Nice job, Norman(!) Where did you learn that? Spy school?

What's inside?

-Two airline tickets to Paris and hotel reservations.

-Oh!

The dog travels in style.

Does Mum-thingy know about Dad-thingy leaving?

I heard her use the D word.

-Doughnut?

-Divorce.

Oh! No! Oh, God!

Is that a bad thing?

It's not good.

One of us has to warn Mum.

My diary is choc-a-block.

Me too. Busy, busy, busy.

How about you, Norman?

HE GRUNTS

Are you sure he's the right one for the job?

How is your practising going?

You've lost your voice?

And can't sing?

My poor baby!

TING!

Norman would like a word.

OK, what's up?

NORMAN GIBBERS

Sometimes you watch a TV show that you love...

NORMAN GIBBERS

..and it comes to an end.

An end?

NORMAN GIBBERS

But there are always new TV shows...

NORMAN GIBBERS

..and one day you might find one you like more than the old one.

OK...

NORMAN GIBBERS

Norman says, "Any TV show would be lucky to have you as a viewer."

Why, thank you, Norman.

NORMAN GIBBERS

Very wise Norman has spoken.

-What a fruitcake!

-You can speak!

I...

I can! Oh, what a miracle!

So you'll be able to perform in the class assembly tomorrow.

Mmm, worse luck.

Wake up! Norman! Norman!

You know, singing was how I met your dad.

-I assumed you dated him as a dare.

-How many fingers am I holding up?!

My college group went on a tour of Australia.

I kept seeing the same face in the audience.

He fell in love with my voice and then he fell in love with me.

NORMAN GURGLES

Wow. If that wasn't Dad, that would have been a really romantic story.

He needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

NORMAN WAILS

Angela!

Angela! Angela! Angela, come back here!

Oh! Normy!

Er.... # If Dad-thingy packs his bag...

# ..Life would be a drag...

-ALL SING:

-# But remember You'll always have us

# If he walks out the door

# You'll be feeling sore

-ALL SING:

-# But remember You'll always have us

# If he waves goodbye

# You will surely cry

-ALL SING:

-# But remember You'll always have us

# And he will phone. #

What time is your flight?

-11:30.

-When are you back?

Tomorrow afternoon.

Will you write?

Way too busy.

-Will you miss me?

-Nope.

Because I'm going to pack you in my suitcase and take you with me.

I'm not sure I'll fit in there!

It's a good job you're bendy.

I'll have to get bigger hand luggage.

Do you have everything ready for your presentation?

Yes, Norman has been most helpful.

He's been acting rather strangely.

Nothing new there.

-I think he was trying to warn me about something.

-What did he say?

I've absolutely no idea.

THEY GIGGLE

Hey, Eddie! We saved the world!

You have?

Yeah, we fixed it so human Dad-thingy won't be going anywhere.

-He's staying?!

-You bet he's staying!

Did he have a change of heart?

Any minute now...

Honey, where are all my shoes?

THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY

We got them all! Ha-ha-ha!

Is this your plan?

Yes, it is!

It won't work, he'll just buy another pair.

That's cheating!

For a minute there you had my hopes up.

For a man with only two feet, he has a lot of shoes.

Does he have feet we don't know about?

He has different shoes for different occasions.

These are his work shoes.

Ohhh.

NORMAN SNIFFS

Oh, ting!

These are his casual shoes for the weekends.

NORMAN SNIFFS

Mmmmmmmmm-MMMMMMMM!

And these are... his running away shoes.

Oh! Oh!

NORMAN SNIFFS

Urrrr... Wah! Owwwww...

OK. Packed and ready.

Would anyone happen to have seen my shoes?

I seem to have accidentally mislaid 16 pairs.

THEY WHISTLE AND COUGH

Fortunately, there's a shoe shop at the airport.

THEY GASP

THEY SIGH

-I told you it wouldn't work!

-We should have taken his feet.

In a minute he'll leave. What are we going to do?

NORMAN GIBBERS

Norman says we have to get Mum-thingy to sing,

then Dad-thingy will fall in love with her again.

Dad fell in love with Mum because of her singing?

So there's hope for us yet!

THEY SING DISCORDANTLY

You wouldn't happen to know

where I could find a close harmony backing group, would you?

ALL: No...

Wait! Yes! Us!

The Monsterettes!

You are about to do the most important gig of your lives.

THEY ALL SING AT HER

It's a lovely morning for a sing-song.

It's a bit early, I haven't even had breakfast yet.

Birds sing in the morning, they have juicy worms to eat,

-but they still find the time.

-Maybe later.

If you don't sing with us

we're going to make annoying noises until you agree.

You always make annoying noises.

Not like this.

THEY MAKE SHRILL NOISES

Hey, Dad, your coffee's ready.

Yep... Just a minute.

Come on!

SHRILL NOISES CONTINUE

OK! OK, you've broken my iron will, I'll sing with you.

We got the gig!

So what do you want to sing?

Oh, well, how about this?

Let's hear how it should be sung.

I know this song - I used to sing it when I was at school.

THEY HUM

# In the meadow every morning

# You can hear a simple song

# The trees join in with the chorus

# And the birds all sing along

# The wind invites the clouds to dance

# And the grass begins to sway

# As they all join in Mother Nature's green and blue ballet

# Ballet. #

CLAPPING

I remember that girl.

She's still here.

THEY LAUGH HAPPILY

# In the meadow every morning

# You can hear a simple song

# When the trees join in for the chorus

# And the birds all sing along... #

Did that sound come out of you?!

Sweetie, that was incredible!

You have an amazing voice.

I have?

Has she stopped yet? Can I take my hands away from my ears?

Man, you're bad.

You really think so?

-The very worst.

-It was awful.

Then I must be good.

DOORBELL

That's my ride to the airport.

THEY GASP

Don't go!

Norman! Just... What are you doing?!

NORMAN SOBS

See you later, alligator.

In a while, crocodile.

You can't leave.

No... We haven't done our encore yet!

What about the post-gig party?

THEY SOB

All we have left of him is a photo

and an old pair of tennis shoes.

I'm really going to miss the stinky little fella.

OK, will somebody please tell me what is going on?

Dad's left us.

And he's never coming back.

He's in love with another man.

A man?!

A wooo-man.

Mum, we found these.

Someone's been sending him love letters.

You can cry, if you like. Or if you prefer, I can do it for you.

You are bananas!

-I

-wrote these letters!

But they're signed by someone called "S".

I used to sign my notes "S" when I first started dating your dad.

But your name is Kate.

It was kind of a nickname he gave me.

For what?

He used to call me...Superstar.

For my singing days.

No-one ever called us that.

So, you're not going to break up?

Not ever!

CHEERING

'As far as I'm concerned, parents can keep their secret code.

'I don't even want to be able to spell the word "divorce".

'When they just remain a bunch of letters, they can't hurt you.'

I'm off to perform in my class assembly - wish me luck!

Knock 'em dead!

Ahem, before you go,

me and the Monsterettes would like to say a couple of words.

You're fired!

Oh, you don't want to sing with me any more?

Let's just call it... artistic differences.

It's my lucky day!

- She's handling it well!

Yeah, she's putting on a brave face, but inside she must be hurting.

Oh, yeah!

Come on.

Eddie, would you like to be in our group?

I can't sing.

You're in!

ALL SING: # The Monsterettes! #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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