The Fabulous Monsterettes Me and My Monsters


The Fabulous Monsterettes

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# You're my might when I'm not feeling strong

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# You put me right when I am going wrong

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# You're my hands when my arms are tied

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# You colour me in when I'm black and white

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# You pick it up when I fall down

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# You take my frown and you turn it around

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# I couldn't wish for better friends

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# To share my life with

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# Don't be sad or lonely

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# If you need someone to hold your hand

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# Me and my monsters can

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# Me and my monsters can. #

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These things happen. People grow apart.

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I guess no-one's to blame. I think we're talking about D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

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'When adults don't want you to understand what they're saying,

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'they spell the word,

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'which works on babies and pets, but less so with kids with dictionaries.

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-'Now their code is busted wide open.'

-Speak later.

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-So, who's getting a divorce?

-No-one you know.

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It seems all of my friends' parents are S-P-L-I-T-T-I-N-G up.

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OK, wise guy, let's go get the rest of the shopping.

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Would Dad ever leave us?

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And walk out on his fabulous wife, two beautiful children

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and three doting, furry monsters?

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He'd be crazy to leave all that behind.

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What about you?

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Me? I'd leave at the drop of a hat.

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Gotcha!

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CHOMP! CHOMP!

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That bad?

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Girl has to sing in class assembly. End of life as she knows it.

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I think that's great.

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Nothing like humiliation in front of the entire school!

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I used to sing.

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Really?

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I was in a college singing group.

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Me and the guys used to have a group too.

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We were the Fabulous Monsterettes! We dropped "Fabulous".

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Surprise(!)

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So we settled on the Monsterettes.

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That's us!

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# The Monstereeeeeettes! #

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Hey, wait! Let's all kick some crazy tunes around together,

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feel the groove!

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Yeah, never going to happen!

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I could have sworn she said no, but in my head that translated as,

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"Let's make sweet rock 'n roll music together!"

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The Monsterettes are back!

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Woo!

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-Woo!

-Woo!

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What's going on?!

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-Is this a multiple-choice question?!

-Where's Fiend?

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OK, here's the thing.

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We were minding our own business

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when the wardrobe exploded!

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-Wardrobes don't explode.

-It's a miracle no-one was hurt.

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I could have been blinded by a sock!

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Why not say what you were really doing?

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The Monsterettes are looking for some stage gear.

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We're professional musicians, don't you know?!

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Is that my dad's old biker jacket?!

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If he finds out you've been going through his things, he'll go nuts!

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I'm already nuts!

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Come on, out of there!

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I found this letter in the drawer.

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-It was in his underwear.

-That's private.

-No kidding!

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-Did you read it?!

-No.

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I was keeping an eye on the underpants.

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"My darling Nick.

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"I had a wonderful evening. I'm floating on air.

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"Every time I think of you, my heart skips a beat.

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"All my love, S."

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Oh! It's a love letter!

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And who is S?

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My mum's name is Kate.

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Do you think Dad is seeing another woman?!

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Is that allowed?!

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No, that's definitely not allowed! He's married to Mum!

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Wow, he's in trouble!

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Which makes a change, because it's usually us!

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And there's a PS.

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"I'll call you tonight. Kiss, kiss, kiss."

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Does he mean this night? Tonight, tonight?

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-We've got to find Dad's phone and hide it before she calls!

-OK!

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But first I've got to find a white sequinned jumpsuit.

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It's quiet around here. For once, it's just you and me.

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Where are the monsters?

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Why? Do you want to cuddle them, too?

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Er... You just kind of killed the moment there.

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-Then let me bring it back.

-Hmm. What do you have in mind?

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Hmm... I think there's something...

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-Look, they're hugging!

-Man, he's good.

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She has no idea he's faking it.

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Now they're kissing!

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He's a smooth operator.

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-He never kisses me.

-And he never will!

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There are dung beetles more in danger of being snogged!

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SINGING FROM UPSTAIRS

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-Oh.

-Hmm.

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OFF-KEY SINGING

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STRANGLED SINGING

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-Do you hear that?

-Angela is calling the Monsterettes!

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No! I'm calling the monsters.

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This is serious. You need to help me.

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We've got to get to Dad's phone before he speaks to S.

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-SINGING CONTINUES

-Are you listening to me?

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Yeah, absolutely. 100%.

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-Totally focused.

-Good. Come on.

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-TUNELESSLY:

-# In the meadow

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# Every morning

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# You can hear a simple song

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# The trees all join the chorus

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# And the birds all sing along. #

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-DOOR OPENS RAPS:

-# Down! Do it!

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-# Shake your hips

-To our funky beat

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# I said, dance, do it

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# Shake it, baby... #

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ALL SING AT ONCE

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Whoa! Back up here.

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- Oh, no, you can't stop the music now!

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We're in the groove.

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# I said, dance... #

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-What are you doing?

-Singing.

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Well, don't. This is my song, all right? Get your own.

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- You can't own music, man. It's like free pizza.

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It belongs to the world.

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- I sound awful. I really need to practise.

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- Right. Ahem. Let's get to work. # Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi

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-# Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi

-Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi... #

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ALL SING TUNELESSLY

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Don't make this worse for me than it already is.

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- Did I mention we're really cheap?

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- Oh, really?

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-Go!

-Oh!

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-Oh, great gig.

-We really rocked.

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-Where did you lot get to?

-Oh.

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-Here comes a fan.

-Oh.

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Do you want an autograph?

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-We don't have time for that.

-It's free. Turn round.

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-OK, if it speeds things up.

-What's your name, kid?

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-Eddie!

-I know an Eddie.

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-I know you do! Me!

-Oh, I thought you looked familiar.

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HAGGIS LAUGHS

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I found another letter in Dad's desk. It says...

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"To my darling Nick,

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"I'm counting down the seconds.

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"This weekend, we'll be together, and for the rest of our lives.

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"All my love, S."

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I think Dad's going to leave us.

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We're going to be single-parent monsters!

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ALL SHRIEK

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Why can't we have three parents like everyone else?

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We can't lose Dad! Not now!

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We've shared so much together.

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The good times...

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the bad times...

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Mostly the bad.

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Is he leaving because of me? Because I can change.

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It's not you.

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Then who shall we blame?

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Let's blame S.

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I've never liked that letter of the alphabet.

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I'm going to drop it from my name.

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From now on, you can call me Haggi.

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NORMAN GIGGLES

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Norman, what are you doing?

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He's photocopying his bottom.

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MONSTERS GIGGLE

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Can we just concentrate on finding Dad's phone before this woman calls?

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Is this it?

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No, that's a stapler.

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Are you sure?

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Looks like a telephone. Hello? Ow!

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Oh, it bit my head.

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NORMAN LAUGHS

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-What are you doing in my study?

-Nothing.

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NORMAN LAUGHS

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NORMAN BLOWS RASPBERRY Norman, that's just plain nasty.

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NORMAN LAUGHS Fiend...

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-Don't wear my reading glasses. You look ridiculous.

-Argh.

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And the spare pair. FIEND SIGHS

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-Argh.

-PHONE RINGS

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Ooh, wow. Ooh, wow, that tickles.

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HAGGIS GIGGLES

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Oooh!

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- Did you swallow my phone?

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- Oooh! Crazy ringtone.

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- How am I going to answer that?

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PHONE BEEPS

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-'Hello, Nick?'

-Oh, it's for you. Go ahead.

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Talk. But you might want to shout.

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'Nick, are you there?

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-'Nick?'

-HELLO!

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-'It's Sarah.'

-(It's her. It's S.)

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You might have to speak up!

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'It's a terrible line, I can barely hear you.'

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-I'll call you back later!

-'OK, sure.'

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Ah.

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OK, give me my phone back.

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- Oh.

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- Oh.

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Urgh.

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-It was originally...

-That's her!

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That's S! Those are the little pink sausage fingers

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that have been writing all the love letters.

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Is it any wonder Daddy is leaving us? That's a fine-looking woman!

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Yeah. Look at the way her earlobes flap gently in the breeze.

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And her nose.

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That is a hooter you could chop wood with.

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Daddy is a love magnet. She can't keep away from him!

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Oh, oh, she's giving him a package.

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Oh! Oh! Now they're holding hands!

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-It's really quite romantic.

-Mmm.

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-S delivered this envelope.

-She came to the house?

-Mmm.

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-What do you think is in there?

-A cute little puppy dog.

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Open it carefully. Dad mustn't know we've been snooping.

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NORMAN JABBERS

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JABBERING INCREASES

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THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

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Nice job, Norman(!) Where did you learn that? Spy school?

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What's inside?

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-Two airline tickets to Paris and hotel reservations.

-Oh!

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The dog travels in style.

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Does Mum-thingy know about Dad-thingy leaving?

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I heard her use the D word.

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-Doughnut?

-Divorce.

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Oh! No! Oh, God!

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Is that a bad thing?

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It's not good.

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One of us has to warn Mum.

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My diary is choc-a-block.

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Me too. Busy, busy, busy.

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How about you, Norman?

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HE GRUNTS

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Are you sure he's the right one for the job?

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How is your practising going?

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You've lost your voice?

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And can't sing?

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My poor baby!

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TING!

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Norman would like a word.

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OK, what's up?

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NORMAN GIBBERS

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Sometimes you watch a TV show that you love...

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NORMAN GIBBERS

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..and it comes to an end.

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An end?

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NORMAN GIBBERS

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But there are always new TV shows...

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NORMAN GIBBERS

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..and one day you might find one you like more than the old one.

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OK...

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NORMAN GIBBERS

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Norman says, "Any TV show would be lucky to have you as a viewer."

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Why, thank you, Norman.

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NORMAN GIBBERS

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Very wise Norman has spoken.

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-What a fruitcake!

-You can speak!

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I...

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I can! Oh, what a miracle!

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So you'll be able to perform in the class assembly tomorrow.

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Mmm, worse luck.

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Wake up! Norman! Norman!

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You know, singing was how I met your dad.

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-I assumed you dated him as a dare.

-How many fingers am I holding up?!

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My college group went on a tour of Australia.

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I kept seeing the same face in the audience.

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He fell in love with my voice and then he fell in love with me.

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NORMAN GURGLES

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Wow. If that wasn't Dad, that would have been a really romantic story.

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He needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

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NORMAN WAILS

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Angela!

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Angela! Angela! Angela, come back here!

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Oh! Normy!

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Er.... # If Dad-thingy packs his bag...

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# ..Life would be a drag...

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-ALL SING:

-# But remember You'll always have us

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# If he walks out the door

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# You'll be feeling sore

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-ALL SING:

-# But remember You'll always have us

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# If he waves goodbye

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# You will surely cry

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-ALL SING:

-# But remember You'll always have us

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# And he will phone. #

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What time is your flight?

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-11:30.

-When are you back?

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Tomorrow afternoon.

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Will you write?

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Way too busy.

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-Will you miss me?

-Nope.

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Because I'm going to pack you in my suitcase and take you with me.

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I'm not sure I'll fit in there!

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It's a good job you're bendy.

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I'll have to get bigger hand luggage.

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Do you have everything ready for your presentation?

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Yes, Norman has been most helpful.

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He's been acting rather strangely.

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Nothing new there.

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-I think he was trying to warn me about something.

-What did he say?

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I've absolutely no idea.

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THEY GIGGLE

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Hey, Eddie! We saved the world!

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You have?

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Yeah, we fixed it so human Dad-thingy won't be going anywhere.

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-He's staying?!

-You bet he's staying!

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Did he have a change of heart?

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Any minute now...

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Honey, where are all my shoes?

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THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY

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We got them all! Ha-ha-ha!

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Is this your plan?

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Yes, it is!

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It won't work, he'll just buy another pair.

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That's cheating!

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For a minute there you had my hopes up.

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For a man with only two feet, he has a lot of shoes.

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Does he have feet we don't know about?

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He has different shoes for different occasions.

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These are his work shoes.

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Ohhh.

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NORMAN SNIFFS

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Oh, ting!

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These are his casual shoes for the weekends.

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NORMAN SNIFFS

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Mmmmmmmmm-MMMMMMMM!

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And these are... his running away shoes.

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Oh! Oh!

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NORMAN SNIFFS

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Urrrr... Wah! Owwwww...

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OK. Packed and ready.

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Would anyone happen to have seen my shoes?

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I seem to have accidentally mislaid 16 pairs.

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THEY WHISTLE AND COUGH

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Fortunately, there's a shoe shop at the airport.

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THEY GASP

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THEY SIGH

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-I told you it wouldn't work!

-We should have taken his feet.

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In a minute he'll leave. What are we going to do?

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NORMAN GIBBERS

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Norman says we have to get Mum-thingy to sing,

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then Dad-thingy will fall in love with her again.

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Dad fell in love with Mum because of her singing?

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So there's hope for us yet!

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THEY SING DISCORDANTLY

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You wouldn't happen to know

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where I could find a close harmony backing group, would you?

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ALL: No...

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Wait! Yes! Us!

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The Monsterettes!

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You are about to do the most important gig of your lives.

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THEY ALL SING AT HER

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It's a lovely morning for a sing-song.

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It's a bit early, I haven't even had breakfast yet.

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Birds sing in the morning, they have juicy worms to eat,

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-but they still find the time.

-Maybe later.

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If you don't sing with us

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we're going to make annoying noises until you agree.

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You always make annoying noises.

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Not like this.

0:19:540:19:55

THEY MAKE SHRILL NOISES

0:19:550:20:02

Hey, Dad, your coffee's ready.

0:20:020:20:04

Yep... Just a minute.

0:20:040:20:06

Come on!

0:20:060:20:07

SHRILL NOISES CONTINUE

0:20:070:20:10

OK! OK, you've broken my iron will, I'll sing with you.

0:20:100:20:16

We got the gig!

0:20:160:20:18

So what do you want to sing?

0:20:190:20:21

Oh, well, how about this?

0:20:210:20:24

Let's hear how it should be sung.

0:20:240:20:26

I know this song - I used to sing it when I was at school.

0:20:260:20:31

THEY HUM

0:20:310:20:35

# In the meadow every morning

0:20:350:20:39

# You can hear a simple song

0:20:390:20:42

# The trees join in with the chorus

0:20:420:20:45

# And the birds all sing along

0:20:450:20:48

# The wind invites the clouds to dance

0:20:480:20:52

# And the grass begins to sway

0:20:520:20:55

# As they all join in Mother Nature's green and blue ballet

0:20:550:21:03

# Ballet. #

0:21:030:21:06

CLAPPING

0:21:060:21:08

I remember that girl.

0:21:080:21:10

She's still here.

0:21:100:21:12

THEY LAUGH HAPPILY

0:21:160:21:19

# In the meadow every morning

0:21:190:21:22

# You can hear a simple song

0:21:220:21:26

# When the trees join in for the chorus

0:21:260:21:30

# And the birds all sing along... #

0:21:300:21:33

Did that sound come out of you?!

0:21:330:21:36

Sweetie, that was incredible!

0:21:360:21:39

You have an amazing voice.

0:21:390:21:40

I have?

0:21:400:21:42

Has she stopped yet? Can I take my hands away from my ears?

0:21:420:21:46

Man, you're bad.

0:21:460:21:49

You really think so?

0:21:490:21:50

-The very worst.

-It was awful.

0:21:500:21:53

Then I must be good.

0:21:530:21:54

DOORBELL

0:21:540:21:57

That's my ride to the airport.

0:21:570:21:58

THEY GASP

0:21:580:21:59

Don't go!

0:21:590:22:01

Norman! Just... What are you doing?!

0:22:040:22:08

NORMAN SOBS

0:22:080:22:13

See you later, alligator.

0:22:130:22:16

In a while, crocodile.

0:22:160:22:18

You can't leave.

0:22:180:22:19

No... We haven't done our encore yet!

0:22:190:22:23

What about the post-gig party?

0:22:230:22:26

THEY SOB

0:22:310:22:34

All we have left of him is a photo

0:22:370:22:39

and an old pair of tennis shoes.

0:22:390:22:42

I'm really going to miss the stinky little fella.

0:22:420:22:45

OK, will somebody please tell me what is going on?

0:22:450:22:49

Dad's left us.

0:22:490:22:50

And he's never coming back.

0:22:500:22:53

He's in love with another man.

0:22:530:22:55

A man?!

0:22:550:22:56

A wooo-man.

0:22:560:22:59

Mum, we found these.

0:22:590:23:01

Someone's been sending him love letters.

0:23:010:23:05

You can cry, if you like. Or if you prefer, I can do it for you.

0:23:080:23:12

You are bananas!

0:23:120:23:14

-I

-wrote these letters!

0:23:140:23:16

But they're signed by someone called "S".

0:23:160:23:19

I used to sign my notes "S" when I first started dating your dad.

0:23:190:23:23

But your name is Kate.

0:23:230:23:25

It was kind of a nickname he gave me.

0:23:250:23:27

For what?

0:23:270:23:28

He used to call me...Superstar.

0:23:280:23:32

For my singing days.

0:23:320:23:34

No-one ever called us that.

0:23:340:23:35

So, you're not going to break up?

0:23:350:23:37

Not ever!

0:23:370:23:39

CHEERING

0:23:390:23:40

'As far as I'm concerned, parents can keep their secret code.

0:23:400:23:44

'I don't even want to be able to spell the word "divorce".

0:23:440:23:47

'When they just remain a bunch of letters, they can't hurt you.'

0:23:470:23:51

I'm off to perform in my class assembly - wish me luck!

0:23:510:23:55

Knock 'em dead!

0:23:550:23:57

Ahem, before you go,

0:23:570:24:00

me and the Monsterettes would like to say a couple of words.

0:24:000:24:04

You're fired!

0:24:040:24:06

Oh, you don't want to sing with me any more?

0:24:070:24:10

Let's just call it... artistic differences.

0:24:100:24:13

It's my lucky day!

0:24:150:24:16

- She's handling it well!

0:24:160:24:17

Yeah, she's putting on a brave face, but inside she must be hurting.

0:24:170:24:23

Oh, yeah!

0:24:230:24:24

Come on.

0:24:250:24:27

Eddie, would you like to be in our group?

0:24:270:24:30

I can't sing.

0:24:300:24:32

You're in!

0:24:320:24:34

ALL SING: # The Monsterettes! #

0:24:340:24:39

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0:24:460:24:50

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0:24:500:24:53

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