Swap Fever Me and My Monsters

# You're my might when I'm not feeling strong

# You put me right when I am going wrong

# You're my hands when my arms are tied

# You colour me in when I'm black and white

# You pick me up when I fall down

# And you take my frown and you turn it around

# I couldn't wish for better friends to share my life with

# Don't be sad and lonely

# If you need someone to hold your hand

# Me and my monsters can

# Me and my monsters can! #

'It's sometimes easy to take your friends and family for granted.

'So it's not always a disaster when things go wrong

'because that's when we realise how much we mean to each other.'

-Morning.

-Morning, human Mum-thingy person.

-Morning, Mum.

-Hi, Mum.

How many times have I asked you lot to stay in the basement?

-I've only just cleaned up this place.

-Don't worry.

It's just a quick bite to eat, then straight back to the basement

for our daily release of delicately perfumed gases.

She's so stressed. Try not to mess anything up, OK?

Yeah, yeah, no mess. Blah-blah!

What? I tried. I failed.

Now I have issues. Thanks a lot, Eddie(!)

-Good morning!

-Good morning, human dad-thingy.

-Did you take the bins out last night?

-Oh.

-I thought you were doing that.

-Me?!

You have no idea how much I have to do!

FIEND CHOKES Lots to do, just like me.

SPLUTTERING

There, nice and relaxed.

What's up with Fiend? CHOKING

I think he's choking! Quickly, someone do something!

Ah! What is that thing?

It's a teeny pet. They're giving them away in boxes of Teeny Puffs.

-Everyone's collecting them.

-Everyone?

Not really. Mostly kids who've caught the collecting bug.

Oh, I see. It's a sickness.

Hey, this is Pancho Penguin!

-This could be worth something.

-How could it be worth something?

They're giving it away for free!

Kids who don't have Pancho might want to swap him.

-For what?

-For another teeny pet.

You can collect them all.

Ooh! Ooh, they're so cute!

Well, if I didn't already think humans were stupid,

then this really... Ooh! Ooh!

I want that one!

Ninja Ferret! Ninja Ferret!

Oh, no, not you, too!

I used to love swaps when I was a kid. Those were the days!

Really? Maybe we should try a swap of our own.

See how you like my chores for a change!

-You and I swap chores?

-Unless you think that's a bad swap?

That's an excellent swap. You're on!

Take that to school and swap it for a ferret!

Me and my big mouth!

I'll swap you Cheeky Chinchilla for Vampy Vole.

I don't know. They seem so defenceless and cute.

It seems wrong to trade them. What if they have feelings, too?

Fine. Golfing Gopher and Cheeky Chinchilla

for Vampy Vole and Sneaky Squirrel.

OK.

-Yes!

-Guys! Guys, you won't believe what I did today.

Did you swap the penguin?

Yes, totally.

-And it was kind of fun.

-Hey, that's great, kid.

We're all warm and fuzzy! Now, did you get the Ninja Ferret?

I did so much better than that.

SQUEALS OF DELIGHT

Ooh, Happy Hedgehog! I love Happy Hedgehog!

Wow, you're really good at this!

I know. But if you want a Ninja Ferret, you'll have to go online.

Those things are rare.

We can do swaps online?

Oh, yeah. And you know what that means?

Look at his goofy smile. Can I have Happy Hedgehog? Can I?

Yeah, knock yourself out. Go on. What are you thinking?

We could be a team, you and me.

While I swap at school, you can swap online.

We could collect them all!

Faster than anyone!

We could have a teeny collection,

the likes of which the world has never seen!

We would be famous, Eddie.

Revered by collectors everywhere!

OK.

What do you say, partner? Want to be a team?

Oh, yeah!

Dad, I need you to get a trunk down from the top of my wardrobe.

-What trunk?

-The one with old books and toys in.

-I might donate them to charity.

-That's unusually thoughtful of you!

I know, weird. But all the popular girls are doing it, so...

Well, I would love to help you

but hauling luggage is now your mum's job.

Actually, heavy objects which aren't electrical are usually my job

so Angela's trunk is your job.

OK. Well,

if you could give me a few minutes, I'll be right with you.

Fine.

Norman, I need your help.

OK. So I've brought the bins back in but I can't find any more jobs.

That really is your chores. A lot easier than I realised.

Easy? Man, this is what I call easy.

You just put the clothes in the dishwasher.

You do it your way. I do it mine.

For the first time in years, I actually have some "me" time.

-I'll go and make the most of it.

-Yeah, you just do that.

Fine by me.

All I need you to do is hold on to the chair

while I stand on it to get this trunk down. Could you do that?

Boyo.

Don't let go until I tell you. If I fall, I could really hurt myself.

Norman! I told you to hold the chair!

Oh. That can't be good.

There we go. You'll be as good as new in no time.

-Maybe Mum should take a look at it.

-I should take a look.

Thanks, but first aid is now my domain.

Relax. I've already weaved my magic.

Psst! Tell you what.

Two gophers and a leopard for Sneaky Squirrel.

No way. Sneaky's in my crew.

-That is not a crew. They're plastic collectables.

-Fiend!

What? Oh yes, yes, his leg will get better.

-Unless it drops off!

-Fiend! Don't be so insensitive.

Forgive me for trying to build our collection!

Anyway, he doesn't mind, do you, Normie?

PANICKY

All right. Everybody out.

Let's get you back to the basement.

CRIES OF PAIN

-OK, just leave him. Just leave him.

-What?

This is all my fault and he can stay in my bed as long as he wants.

HAPPY SOUNDS

OK. Shout if you need anything.

Norman...

I'm so sorry.

I'll do whatever I can to make this up to you.

CONTENTED PURRING

TRILLING

Whoa!

Look at this place!

It's suddenly like... It's kind of like the basement!

Pepperoni asparagus and a tin of shoe polish.

Breakfast in bed for Norman.

-Does he like tuna?

-He'll eat anything.

Apart from jelly. He's terrified of jelly!

It's the way it wobbles.

That'll just have to do.

Oh, we're out of cereal. Great!

OK! Don't panic! I ran to the store and got more Teeny Puffs.

I never realised we go through so many. Wa-ay!

What happened to this place? Every time I do something

I turn around and it needs doing again!

Yum, yum, yum. Ah! By the way, we're out of Teeny Puffs.

Burp!

And we're kind of flush with gophers right now, so...

Could you peek in the packet before check-out?

It would make our lives a lot easier.

Right. That's it. No more Teeny Puffs.

-What?!

-No!

-From now on we get Nuttybix.

Nuttybix don't come with freebies or Teenies. And my house stays clean.

OK, people, he's starting to rhyme!

-He's scaring me!

-Well, good! Because I think it's cruel,

trapping little Teeny Pets in dark, scary cereal boxes.

How would you feel?

OK. Eddie, here's our extras.

Swap well and prosper, my friend!

-Catch you, partner.

-By the way,

word on the web says Billy Jenkins has a Jiggly Piglet. If true,

we want in!

-Eddie, I'll be late for work.

-You liked swaps when you were a kid.

-Mum wouldn't ban Teeny Puffs.

-Really?

You want Teeny Puffs? I'd like to come home to a nice clean house.

Wait, you're telling us to do housework in return for cereal?

-Think of it as a swap.

-Call it what you like, we know it's blackmail!

Here we are, Normie.

Breakfast in bed!

EXCITEMENT

DISAPPOINTMENT

What? What's wrong with it?

How can you be so picky? You eat from the neighbour's bin!

No. No.

PLEADING

All right, I guess I can find what's in our bin, if it helps.

Norman, I've got a treat for you.

I found some old fish scrapings and cabbage leaves.

GRATEFUL

Nick's study!

Jigsaw?!

Please! One little swap!

A bush baby for a chinchilla.

-Never! I think it's wrong!

-I need a chinchilla to clinch the deal!

There's a kid on the forum taking bids on a fruit bat.

There's already a fruit bat in this basement and that is you!

-Fiend! Fiend, I did it! I got a Jiggly Piglet!

-Yes!

I also got a sweet deal on a meerkat and a chipmunk.

Oh, come on!

-What's wrong?

-The tags are dog-eared, the bags are open.

Why would you take these?

I thought you'd be pleased.

They're worth more bagged and tagged, Eddie. Anyone knows that!

And look at this Jiggly Piglet! His arm has snapped off!

-What kind of collection are we trying to build here?

-Fine.

I'll swap him tomorrow. This kid in 4B wants to offload some otters.

Really? Otters, you say?

You'd like that, wouldn't you? Use the swaps to get an otter for us

and maybe the odd mole on the side for yourself?

-What?

-Building a secret collection off the back of my success!

Is that it, Eddie? Is that the game you're playing?

-I don't know what you mean!

-Sure you don't.

Well, I don't need you any more! From now on, I'm going it alone!

-Online!

-I thought we were partners!

-So did I!

Maybe that's why there's no Ninja Ferret in our collection!

You're keeping all the good stuff for yourself!

You, there! Human-thingy! Where's my Teeny Puffs?

You said you'd bring me Teeny Puffs!

If you cleaned the kitchen! Where is the dishwasher?!

-I swapped it for a sackful of Teeny Pets!

-You did what?!

It did mean I had to take the machine out myself.

Long story short, there's no water.

This means we can't wash the dishes or the laundry or ourselves!

Fascinating(!) Now, quit stalling. Where's my cereal?

He's officially lost it!

Do you think?

OK. You and Dad have got to swap back.

-Things are out of control!

-What's happened?

Nothing's happened. Everything's fine.

Fiend swapped the dishwasher for some Teeny Pets. There's no water,

and the place looks like a bomb has hit!

-And?

-There is no and. Did you hear what I said?

Sounds like a pretty average day to me!

Really? My jigsaw puzzle. You're doing my jigsaw puzzle?

So this is what you do with all your time? You know what,

if you can't cope, just admit you were wrong

-and I'll come sort it.

-Thank you, but that won't be necessary. Edward.

Hello? I've got some online shopping vouchers I'd like to redeem

for 20 boxes of Teeny Puffs.

-Voucher numbers?

-Give me the vouchers, Fiend.

-I'm having a conversation here!

-This collecting was meant to be fun.

-Tell that to the Teenies!

-I don't like what it's done to you.

-Is there a point?

-The collecting has to stop!

-OK.

Going to need a bit more. Are you still there?

-Give me the vouchers!

-No! Never!

Ow! Get off!

That's voucher number 6427. Get off me!

-You're out of control, you maniac!

-Enough!

-I'm OK.

I'm OK.

Oh. Oh.

Give me those vouchers! The vouchers!

Trust me!

This obsession has got to stop. It's for your own good!

-You want me to give up my Teenies?

-Yes! Keep the ones you have,

but you can't have any more! I'll stop too. It ends here!

Just like that? I mean, fine!

OK, no problem.

I can stop collecting any time I want. Just watch me!

We plan to. 24/7.

BALLET MUSIC ON TV

Hmm. That's weird.

Is something different?

Enjoy the snacks.

Dad?

Dad, are you asleep?

What? Hmm.

Stayed up. Did a spot of cleaning. Must have dozed off.

Morning, freakish life forms!

Hey, Fiend. How are you feeling?

Feeling? Moi? Great!

Boy, am I glad I kicked that collecting bug!

-Feeling better already?

-Oh, human dad-thingy, absolutely.

Oh, what a fool I've been! Can you believe I swapped the dishwasher?

Ha, ha, ha! It's hilarious! Ha, ha, ha!

OK, too soon.

Right, what have we got for breakfast?

Nutty Bix? Ooh, yummo!

I'm so glad you got over your collecting bug so quickly.

You already seem happier.

That's because I am! Now, shoo, the pair of you.

OK. Well, have a good day!

You, too! Have fun!

Lovely little Teenies!

Wait a minute!

You're doing online swaps! That's naughty. I'm going to tell!

-No, you're not!

-Oh, yes I am!

I'm going to tell and you'll be in so much tr...

Wait a minute! Where's Happy Hedgehog?

Don't worry about Happy. She's nice and safe as long as you keep quiet!

-No!

-Oh, relax. You've still got nine.

That's Muscly Mole, and that's...

That's Ninja Ferret!

You've got Ninja Ferret?!

I've had Ninja a few days now.

You can have your hedgehog back. How much for the ferret?

-He's the last one I need to complete my collection!

-Hey, guys.

-How much? Two squirrels and a porcupine?

-Never!

-Hey?

OK, a duck, two badgers and a vole. You can't get fairer than that!

-But I love my Ninjie.

-You're still swapping! Aren't you over this?

-He still has his original mask on!

-He's mine!

Unhand me, brute! OK, an elephant for the ferret!

It's daylight robbery!

Aghh!

Ughh! You drive a hard bargain!

Huh! You'll never get him, never!

I'm going to hide him in a place you'll never find him!

You seem to forget, my friend, I'm the hide-and-seek champion!

Oh, yeah!

Fiend, this is ridiculous!

Just stop!

Never! Not until I find Ninja Ferret!

What?!

Yeah, he's been online all day.

Fiend, I have hidden Ninjie for his own protection.

You do not swap your loved ones!

A-ha! Of course!

The little hole that the toilet brush goes in! Ha-ha!

-Haggis, where's the ferret?

-Somewhere he'll never find him.

In my belly!

Don't swap your loved ones, eat them. Interesting!

Nope, not there.

-Oh, eh, eh...

-Hey!

Fiend, you may as well give up. Haggis has eaten Ninja Ferret.

NO!!!

Grr!

Loosen up! Let me in! I'm coming, Ninjie!

Then again, if he passes straight through, he's still collectable.

Can you hear me, little fella?

-Go towards the light!

-Right. That's enough. Kate!

-What are you doing?

-I can't do this. I've got to swap back!

-What's going on?

-It's Fiend. He's after this.

Ninjie!

Pristine, bagged, untagged.

But how?

I know I said I'd quit collecting too,

but Billy Jenkins was trying to swap him for a gopher!

-Ha! The idiot!

-Exactly. I knew how much you wanted him.

-Mwa! Mwa! Mwa!

-Get off me! Get off!

You have a complete collection of Teeny Pets. How does it feel?

Wait a minute.

Where's the heavenly choir?

The heroic fanfare?

The warm, golden light 'neath which my pets and I

shall forever be?

-Is this it?

-I guess.

Oh, look what these things have reduced me to!

They've taken away my pride, my self respect, my dignity!

-My dishwasher.

-But you know one thing they can never take away?

-No, what?

-I was hoping you could tell me.

From where I'm at, they've got everything.

GURGLING

That'll be Ninja number one!

Please excuse me.

Aghh! Aghh!

TERRIFIED SCREAMS

Aghh!

Norman!

Norman?

FAINT WHIMPERING

Normie?

What's all this?

A new dishwasher, same as the old one.

-You fitted it yourself? Nice!

-You do what you do, I do what I do!

We're not a bad team. Here.

-A piece of my jigsaw?

-The final piece. Knock yourself out!

-Thanks!

-What's this?

-Me, Eddie and Haggis are giving our Teenies collection

to the charity shop.

And we need your help getting Angela's trunk there, too.

-Can't Angela do it?

-She's kind of busy with Norman.

'I guess it's easy to get so caught up in things,

'we forget what really matters.

'Some things are valuable, but all that's priceless is family.'

Honestly, what is so special about our neighbour's rubbish?

Ours is just as revolting. But will he listen? No, he will not.

# Don't be sad and lonely

# If you need someone to hold your hand

# Me and my monsters can! #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd