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# You're my might when I'm not feeling strong
# You put me right when I am going wrong
# You're my hands when my arms are tied
# You colour me in when I'm black and white
# You pick me up when I fall down
# You take my frown and you turn it around
# I couldn't wish for better friends to share my life with
# Don't be sad or lonely
# If you need someone to hold your hand
# Me and my monsters can
# Me and my monsters can. #
Oh, is it in here?
It's another Norman!
It's not another Norman - it's just Norman.
I have to find this stuff.
'The best thing about going on holiday is having non-stop fun.
'The beaches, the surfing, just doing all the things
'you spend the rest of the year dreaming about.
'But the worst thing is definitely the packing,
'especially if you've got three monsters trying to help.'
-Is this what you were looking for?
-Aaagh! Another Fiend!
-Everyone! Keep the noise down!
Dad's got someone upstairs. Human work thingy.
-At the end of the meeting, I'll unveil the new slogan.
"Pretty as a Picture, with Portlin's Paints."
Are you packing these purple pants?
Look! The pants are great. I'll take the paints.
Sorry, Jeff, we're in a bit of a rush here.
Look, it all sounds great!
Isn't there any way that you can be there for this meeting?
I'm afraid I would love to be, but I have to go to Mexico on holiday.
Just trust yourself, relax.
Remember - paint a pretty picture with Partland's Paints! Bye!
It's Portlin's Paints!
Yeah, that's even better.
-I thought he'd never go!
-He's so stressed about this presentation.
No wonder I need a holiday.
Are those kids ready yet?
So, a holiday is when you put all of your stuff into bags
and then take it somewhere else to have fun.
That's basically it, yeah.
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!
Why go to all that trouble to have fun? We can have fun here.
Can we?! Great!
See - fun!
But have you ever been snorkelling,
seen all the colours of the coral reef
or ridden a wave into shore on one of these?
That sounds incredible!
When are we going? When are we going?
Ha ha! Baba gobo lengo!
The thing is, guys, it's just me and the family.
You're staying here.
OK, have fun!
-We'll look after the place.
No, of course not! You kidding? We'll trash it!
It's our speciality.
KATE: Eddie! Come on, it's time to go!
Give us a hand, will you?
-Saturday morning, I've put you down for yoga.
-10.15 to 10.35 there is this hilarious...
-Is our entire trip
going to be planned this precisely?
No! 5.00 to 5.30 is free time every day.
Nick! It's a holiday. You've got to stop organising everything.
You need to relax.
That's a valid point. I'm going to schedule some time to talk about it.
-OK, human piggies!
Right, you lot, out!
Are we doing the right thing leaving them here on there own?
We are not cancelling now! We NEED this holiday! It'll be fine.
I hope so. And where's Angela?
I'm on it.
I'm only upstairs. What happened to shouting?
Get down here, your mum's going nuts!
I can't find my hat and my sarong.
Get that upstairs now!
Say goodbye to milky-white Angela, freaks.
All my friends are waiting to see me
with the world's most perfect suntan.
I will be brown, and they will be green.
Green?! Hmm-hmm! Beautiful!
Oh, whatever you say, Fiend.
Wow... You're actually going to be happy, aren't you?
Oh, yeah, you bet your life.
You lot won't be there - that's my idea of happy.
Norm wants to know what it looks like.
It's a monster!
Jeff, the presentation is great. It's going to be fine.
Yeah, OK. All right. Bye.
Let's get out of here before he calls back. Ready?
-CAR HORN HONKS
Eddie, can you put your in suitcase the taxi?
Er... There. Right there.
Hey, Eddie! How was it? Did you surf?
Show us the photos!
I really missed you. Don't ever go away again.
Er...that wasn't the holiday, fellas.
That was two ticks. The holiday is two weeks.
How long is that?
Well, remember when I had chicken pox?
that's just one week, and this is two of these.
Oh, it's all right, Haggis, mate.
Be strong, yeah?
You'll be just fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be fine.
Come on, Eddie. Haggis is fine. It's time to go. Yeah?
Eddie, love, you OK?
I don't want to go.
-I don't want to leave them.
-I know. We'll talk about it in the taxi!
Eddie is upset. We've got to do something.
-They're trying to take him away.
-The passports! I almost forgot!
Well, looks like the holiday is cancelled.
Such a pity. I was looking forward to it.
You weren't going.
Oh yes, that's right. I knew there was a reason I didn't feel gloomy.
Yeah, but everyone else does though.
-It's all my fault.
-You see, I told you going away to have fun
was a dumb idea.
You know what?
That might have been the smartest thing you ever said.
Smarter than my recipe for bogey bolognaise?
We can still do it. We can still have a holiday.
That's brilliant - although I'm still not going, right?
No, because no-one's going - we can stay here.
Haggis, knock it off.
What happened to Happy?
Happy's gone, my friend.
You don't understand. I'm going to look really silly.
Great! I love looking silly.
Silly is what I do best.
No, you see, I'm a girl, OK? You're a monster. All right?
For me, looking silly is like you looking sensible.
What do you need to do to look not silly?
OK. A tan is when your skin goes like a lovely shade of light brown.
Oh! Why didn't you say?
That's great. Thanks. Goodbye.
-My savings, to help pay for the holiday.
We got a refund.
Look. I'm really sorry. Norman was trying to help.
He thought I was upset.
I'm upset now. What's he going to do for me?
Gloop! Gloop! Gloop! Blub! Blub! Blub!
That's not doing it. OK, I'm going to call Jeff
and tell him I can go to this meeting.
No, don't! As far as he's concerned we're in Mexico.
Yeah, but we're not.
Yeah, but he doesn't have to know that, does he?
All we need to do is make this place Mexico.
What? Stay indoors for two weeks?
Exactly. We're staying here and Jeff stays out there.
Hey, that's a great idea.
I can cook Mexican stylee, we can stay up late, eat under the stars.
You know what? I like it!
Let's make a couple of changes to the holiday schedule.
Gloop! Gurgle! Gloop! Gurgle!
Haggis, that is not a suntan, that's soil from a plant pot.
I'll let you into a secret, Angela.
-No-one has a real suntan any more.
Uh-uh! Lying in the sun is about as smart as sleeping on the motorway.
Sooner or later you're going to regret it.
Do what everyone else does.
Use some of this - fake tan. They'll never know the difference.
Right, let's get this holiday started.
Oh, what's that?
That is the holiday schedule.
Everyone's activities for the next two weeks.
If it's not properly organised it's chaos.
Busy, busy, busy!
Yep! That's Dad!
Oh, it's Jeff.
Right, everyone, listen. Remember that time that Aunt Mabel
wanted to come and stay and we had to pretend to be out?
This is like then, yeah?
No-one open the door, no-one answer the door, nothing.
If Jeff finds out I'm here I'll be back at work
faster than you can say "Lagogarcha".
ALL: Got it.
Right, what's on the schedule?
OK, Eddie... Snorkellising.
Um... Sugar-Mum-Thingy-Person... Booky reading.
Sunny tanning! And Human-Dad-Thingy-Person...
something called "glof".
Right, come here, my little tungsten friend.
OK! Let the fun begin!
-When do you start having fun?
This isn't about having fun! It's golf!
They're doing everything on their own!
What's the first rule of fun club?
ALL: Have fun together!
Two o'clock! Everyone, stop what you're doing!
What's next on the holiday schedule?
Two, four, three!
LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC
You lot look ridiculous!
-Don't be such a dag, Dad!
You used to be such a beautiful dancer!
It's him! It's Jeff!
He's found out they're here!
He's going to know I lied... What am I going to do?!
We're not here!
It's the postman!
Oh, I'll get it!
Right, maybe we'll do something a bit more quiet.
Oh, my goodness! This is brilliant!
My tan looks great!
Oh, I hope they're not going to kiss!
Oh, me neither!
Guys, if you're going to get all smoochy,
can you at least go to the beach?
-Don't worry, there won't be any of that.
You know, this really is lovely, isn't it?
I think this has been our best holiday ever.
Good evening! Are you ready to order!
What does the chef recommend?
The chef recommends you eat somewhere else! Ha!
This is the only place open.
Have a menu.
We'll have the mash, thanks.
Excellent choice, sir.
What does that want?
Let's open it!
MAN ON COMPUTER: Nick?! No, I'm Haggis, I'm...
Who on Earth was that, Nick?
Er, it's, er... It's Carnaval here!
-Yeah? Mexico is just LOCO!
Yeah, I'd say so!
It was good seeing you! Bye!
I just wanted to go over a few last-minute changes.
-I was thinking of changing the background colour
from a pale blue to a pale yellow,
as I think it would make people feel more cheerful.
Come on, guys! Do something!
Oh, nice one!
What are you going to do with that?
No, no, no, no way!
It's for the sake of the holiday!
Your carnival's gone quiet.
WHOOPING AND LATIN AMERICAN MUSIC
-Acapulco looks fun!
And those costumes, very realistic!
What... Er... Signal's breaking up...
Ah, no, no, no! Nick, one more thing!
MIMICS ELECTRONIC DRONING
-Did we get away with it?
Yeah, I reckon so!
Let's get on with this holiday!
Oh, wait! Dad, you've got a text.
-Just leave it.
-No, no, no, I think you'll want to hear this.
"Sorry we got cut off. I was just about to tell you,
"I left the presentation boards at your house.
"I am on my way round to pick them up."
Don't worry, he doesn't have any keys.
"I got the spare keys from your desk at work..."
What are we going to do?
There's only one thing we CAN do.
HE GRUNTS EXASPERATEDLY
ALL: Shh! Shh!
(Haggis! You've got to concentrate! You've got to be quiet!)
Norman, can you get that? I can't reach!
NORMAN MIMICS PHONE'S RING
Gimme it! Gimme it!
Er, yeah... Noises, yeah... In my house?
Well, that's just my...relatives, yeah, yeah.
They're staying there while we're here.
Mexico. They're from, er... They're from, er...
Italian! Yeah, they're Italians.
In the basement? No, no, don't go down there!
They'll be up in a sec! OK, bye!
Hello. And you must be...?
I've gone orange, Mum, I'm orange!
Where's Haggis? I'm going to kill him and... Haggis! Haggis!
Chica is tiptop of class in Inglese!
Bene, very good, Chica - shut up-a now!
KATE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
Has the human work-thingy person gone yet?
Not quite, you guys are doing great!
If you stay quite, after all this is over, I'll make you
one of my special, monster-bacon breakfasts, OK?
THEY SHOUT EXCITEDLY
-Then let's make it be over now!
Haggis, Fiend, Haggis!
HAGGIS LAUGHS EXCITEDLY
How are the Italians?
I'm not sure they're Italian at all, Nick. One of them's orange
-and she's after some haggis!
-Oh, yeah, they love British food!
-There's definitely something in your basement. Maybe I should look.
It's... It's, er, plumbing...
Yeah, it's just... Yeah, it's...
It's the water pipes, they make the...
What are you doing in Acapulco?
What's going on, Nick?
Well, we're not really on holiday, we're at home.
Yeah, so I see!
Erm, yeah... Well...
Look, we're meant to be on holiday, but we're not
because Norman ate our passports, so we're having a holiday here!
so just leave us alone, because we're having a brilliant time!
I'll be in the basement if anybody needs me.
Right, so, who's Norman?
I think you're suffering from stress! You're a mess!
It's affecting your family. Your daughter's turned orange!
I thought I was worried about this meeting, but you... Wow.
Look, why don't you take a couple of weeks off?
-Good, good! Just get some rest.
And maybe you'll stop thinking that you're in Mexico.
I... DOOR OPENS, HAGGIS GASPS
Just...take it easy.
HAGGIS: Don't kill me!
Oh, I won't... I'm going to rip all your fur off first...
It's OK, honey, fake tan washes off.
What are we standing round here for? Let's get back to Me-hi-co!
Everyone ready? Said your goodbyes?
We had a fantastic time!
We'll definitely be back next year!
Vaya con Dios, amigos!
I'll miss you!
How many showers did it take in the end?
I liked you orange!
Adios, my friends! It's been great.
Hi, everyone, we're home!
Ah, great(!) Nothing but bills.
HAGGIS: Oh! No, don't!
-Oh, I really missed you!
-FIEND: How are you!
What did you do? Where's my present?
Was I really that orange?!
No, that was BEFORE Haggis put the fake tan on!
Sorry you ended up with no tan at all, sweetie.
I don't really care. I'll just tell everyone I was having too much fun
cos that's the truth.
Hey, what are you up to?
We've decided to go on holiday!
-So, where are you going?
-HAGGIS: Your bedroom! Bye!
EDDIE: 'Turns out holidays are fantastic.
'But being at home is fantastic-er.
'And when you put the two together,
'you get the best holiday you've ever had.
'And you get to take your monsters with you!'
THUMPING AND MUFFLED SHOUTING
Normal rules apply!
Get out there!
# Don't be sad and lonely if you need someone to hold your hand
# Me and my monsters can. #
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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