The Fall Out Me and My Monsters

# You're my might when I'm not feeling strong

# You put me right when I am going wrong

# You're my hands when my arms are tied

# You colour me in when I'm black and white

# You pick me up when I fall down

# You take my frown and you turn it around

# I couldn't wish for better friends

# To share my life with

# Don't be sad or lonely

# If you need someone to hold your hand

# Me and my monsters can

# Me and my monsters can #

GLASS BREAKS

'The most important thing in life is friends.

'I have three of them.

'They're the noisiest, stinkiest, naughtiest mates ever.

'I really hit the jackpot.'

-Hi, Eddie! How was school?

-Who cares?

-Guess whose birthday it is tomorrow!

-Is it mine?

-No.

-Oh. I thought I'd forgotten.

-It's mine!

-Whose did you say it was?

Mine! Eddie Carlson's!

-Who?

-Can I have a party?

-Mm... You had one last year.

-Well, I want another.

-It's very short notice.

-You've had 12 months to plan for this, Mum.

I know. I guess. It's a little bit inconvenient, though.

Who do you want to invite?

My three best friends in all the world.

Is... Is that me, Mum and Dad?

Norman, would you stop moving?!

Please! We are trying to have a serious game here.

Hoop-la!

FIEND LAUGHS

Hey, everyone! It's my birthday tomorrow,

and I'm having a birthday party. You're invited, you're invited,

-and you're invited!

-MONSTERS CHEER

-What's a birthday party?

-It's when you celebrate being a year older.

Why not celebrate being a week older?

Or another day older?

Yeah! You could celebrate every second.

I mean...I've just had a party!

Oh! I've just had another one.

Oh! We're having fun.

Party! Party! Party, party, p...

Oh, I don't think I can do this any more now!

Ooh! I'm all partied out.

-HE LAUGHS

-Ignore him.

So, what else happens on a birthday?

Well, you get a big cake, and you get to blow all the candles out.

-With your bottom?

-No, with your mouth!

-Oh. Pity!

-And we get to play loads of really cool party games

-like pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.

-Is that legal?

This party's going to be really wild!

NORMAN GRUNTS AND CACKLES

And when your friends come to your party, they always bring presents.

What kind of presents?

Something they think you'll really want -

like a remote-control jeep, for example.

-Oh, we're all out of those.

-NORMAN HOOTS SADLY

Well, anything will do. So, will you come?

Oh, yeah! We're 24-hour party monsters!

What about sausage hedgehogs, marshmallow spiders

and snake jellies?

-Does it have to be novelty food?

-It's fun!

Do you remember the teddy-bear sandwiches?

-I'd rather not talk about that.

-You cried when we ate them.

I was four!

Have you bought Eddie a birthday present yet?

No. I think I'm going to get him two next year.

He's your little brother.

Hey! Don't lay that guilt trip on me, OK? I need this money.

In one week, the coolest jacket ever designed...

-..will be mine.

-You should get him a present, even if it's small.

Do you like him this much?

It's possible.

Do you like him...this much?

At a stretch.

Do you like him...

this much?

I think I like anyone that much.

Um...

HE HUMS THOUGHTFULLY

Hmm...

I know! Let's give him every kid's dream present!

-Norman's cat-sick collection?

-No, you fool!

-Me!

-You?!

Yes! Imagine his joy

when he rips off the gift-wrap to reveal me inside -

his favourite monster!

No! I'm his favourite monster! We should give him me.

HE CLUCKS

No, no. I'm definitely his favourite monster.

-How come?

-Um, because...

because I'm the best dancer!

DANCE MUSIC POUNDS

Ooh!

Oh, no way, no way, no way.

Everybody knows big guys are the best dancers.

Watch me! FUNKY MUSIC CONTINUES

No, that's nothing! Look at my feet!

I'm the soul man!

-Look! They're a blur!

-NORMAN CLUCKS AND SINGS ALONG

Yeah! Keep up with this, Haggis! Hoo! Hah!

Get down!

MUSIC CONTINUES NORMAN CLUCKS

-MUSIC STOPS

-Nice try, Norm!

-Too bad! I won.

-No! I won!

OK. Wrap me!

No! You wrap ME!

HE CLUCKS

And when you've finished, put a little bow on top, all right?

Do it yourself!

Do birthday presents normally have to wrap themselves?

-A monster theme party.

-What do you think?

SHE SIGHS

Actually, I like every part about it -

except the monster part.

Do you want to help me make some gross-out food?

Wow! My mother is asking me that question.

I'm going to make some... poo biscuits!

-What's wrong with you?

-When you're older,

this is the stuff you'll remember.

No. When I'm older, this is the stuff I'm going to try to forget.

OK?

I see you're hard at work there, champ.

No. I'm just making invites for my birthday party.

-What are you planning?

-A party at home with Fiend, Haggis and Norman.

How about something more adventurous - a party at Fun Splash?

No. The monsters can't go to Fun Splash.

That's a big selling point right there. Come on. What do you say?

Invite a whole bunch of your school mates. You can all half-drown.

-It'll be great.

-The half-drowning bit does sound like fun,

but I want a party with the monsters.

Don't you look at me like that, Haggis!

-I'll look at you however I want.

-Would you like to reconsider?

-FIEND AND HAGGIS ARGUE

-I am talking. I'm the best.

Look! I've made a furry monster tablecloth with ping-pong eyeballs!

See? It looks like Fiend!

Just smile.

-Button it, sumo!

-Shut up yourself, nine-eyes!

HE CLUCKS, SQUEALS AND BARKS

-Hey, what's going on here?

-We're having an argument!

-I can hear that.

-Soon we'll be done with the verbal insults

-then we'll start throwing things at each other!

-Ooh!

Right! Yah!

-NORMAN HOOTS

-Hah!

-HAGGIS GRUNTS

-Ha-ha!

-Yah! Ha-ha!

-Hey! Stop that!

No! We can't quit now! Ooh!

-Take that!

-Ooh!

Take this!

-Ow!

-Actually, that looks like fun!

-Can I join in?

-No. Start your own argument!

Yeah! Start your own argument, Human Eddie!

HE LAUGHS

We've been brewing this one for ages.

You can't just jump in when it begins to get good.

-That's just plain lazy!

-Yah!

HE GRUNTS

Can someone please tell me what this argument is all about?

-It all started because -

-MONSTERS ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

-OK! Listen!

-MONSTERS FALL SILENT

-Why don't you just all apologise?

-Not going to happen.

-No way! Forget it, Eddie.

-Yeah. Monsters do not say sorry!

-Hm!

-NORMAN CLUCKS

SHOUTING AND CRASHING Has he given them fizzy drink again?

Mum, you've got to help. They're going crazy down there!

-What are they fighting about?

-I have no idea!

-You want me to handle this?

-You?

I have management skills! I manage people. That's what I do -

deal with conflict in the workplace. If I can manage 30 people,

I think I can look after three furry monsters.

-CLATTERING

-Quickly, Mum. Come on.

Son, just relax. I'll handle this.

I'm a professional.

ALL MUTTER, GROWL AND BLOW RASPBERRIES

OK, quiet, please! Settle down. ALL CONTINUE TO MAKE NOISES

OK, gentlemen! Thank you for taking time out to attend this meeting.

If we could try and act in a mature fashion,

see if we can't get to the bottom -

-Hah! You said "bottom"!

-Oh, that is so immature.

-Oh, shut up!

-No, you shut up!

-NORMAN CLUCKS FRANTICALLY

You will all have a chance to air your grievances,

but more importantly, to listen to what each other has to say.

You don't really think Dad can get the monsters to kiss and make up?

I know it's hard to believe at times, but he's quite experienced

at resolving disputes.

Oh, right! Because he's so laid back and reasonable

when it comes to the monsters.

-Just as long as he doesn't do the hat thing.

-What's the hat thing?

OK, here are the rules. You can only speak

when you're holding the talking-hat. Is that understood?

Here, Haggis. Why don't you go first?

-Why should he go first?

-Because he has the hat.

-I should have the hat!

-NORMAN CLUCKS IN PROTEST

-I've got the hat!

-Give me the hat!

You can only talk, Fiend, when you're holding the hat.

-You have two hats?

-There's only one.

-Can't you afford two hats?

-That's beside the point!

-Now I've got the hat!

FIEND CACKLES HAGGIS WAILS

-Speak!

-Don't be silly!

-The hat can't speak!

-Yeah. I know the hat can't speak.

Then why'd you call it speaking hat? Hey! Give me that back!

-NORMAN CLUCKS TRIUMPHANTLY

-Norman has the hat!

-My hat!

No, it's my hat! Give me the hat, Norman! Haggis, let go!

Can we please just behave in a civilised fashion?!

NORMAN CLUCKS WILDLY

So, how did it go?

There is a lot of pent-up hostility in that room.

He's made things worse.

I'll admit the speaking-hat was a mistake.

Now they've fallen out big time.

Does your company really let you run a whole department?

We have a strict employment policy, yeah? No monsters.

-Eddie, are you OK?

-I'm going to bed.

Things must be bad. It's nowhere near your bedtime.

It's all a complete disaster. My best friends aren't even talking!

I might as well cancel my party now.

Don't worry about the monsters too much.

It will all have blown over by the morning. You'll see.

Night.

-It's your birthday tomorrow!

-I'm not sure I want it.

I do.

Wake up, birthday boy! You're another year older!

-I think I'll skip this birthday.

-Your mum's tried that a few times.

When you're 70 and I'm still 39, who'll be laughing then?

You have to celebrate all your birthdays. Those are the rules!

-Are the monsters still arguing?

-They seem to be quiet enough,

so I bet they're friends again.

OK! Where are my presents?

-You want presents?

-Did you get any?

-No!

-You?

-I didn't know he was going to want any!

-Hand them over!

-Oh, you mean...

these?

-Happy birthday, Human Boy Thingy.

-Happy birthday, smelly.

Happy birthday.

-FIEND SHOUTING

-Take...that!

CLATTERING FEROCIOUS GRUNTING

I was really looking forward to the party!

Don't worry about it.

I made bogey trifle and everything!

Hey...

I was thinking about taking back this lame present I bought Eddie,

cos it's just... And I was thinking,

I might get him that jeep he's been banging on about.

-But that will use up all your money!

-No.

What about the jacket you've been saving up for?

Oh, it's fine. I'll just go cold.

You really love your little brother, don't you?

I hope that you never repeat that in public. And if you do,

you'll be hearing from my lawyer.

Oh, poppet!

I have been calling around,

and have invited your classmates to your Fun Splash party.

It is going to be wet and wild!

I'm not really up for it.

Eddie! There's going to be water and slides!

You're going to hurtling along at breakneck speeds

through pitch-black tunnels of fear, screaming for mercy,

then spat out and slammed into an icy-cold pool of pain!

-Well...

-Sold to the crazy guy in the corner!

No son of mine's going without a party on his birthday.

My bathing suit!

-Goggles, check. Towel, check.

-What are you doing?

Here we go! Fun Splash!

-Not after last time.

-Sorry, Dad!

You should never have attempted to dive off that high board.

Well...I may have misjudged my entry a little.

You did a 30-foot belly flop and lost your trunks, Dad.

-It was an accident!

-You'll scare Eddie's friends.

I've got braces! They won't fall down this time.

-See? Promise.

-We can't take that kind of risk.

Please let me go to the pool.

We'll let you watch the party from a safe distance.

BRACES TWANG

But...there's going to be water and slides!

-Eddie can't have a party without us!

-What? No party?

Oh, no!

He's having it with his school thingy friends instead!

Oh, that hurts so bad!

NORMAN CLUCKS SADLY

Yeah. Oh, hey - wait!

We're talking again!

HE LAUGHS I'm talking to you.

-You're talking to me!

-Uh-huh!

-NORMAN GIBBERS

-Yeah, and it feels so right!

I've missed you guys!

Ah, come here, you big lug!

HE ROARS HAPPILY

It's a love thing.

Yeah. You guys complete me.

Well, nearly.

We need Eddie!

-NORMAN SINGS

-Let's get him back!

He's our fourth monster - a little pink one with no fur.

I love the little pink no-furred monster.

-Mm. So what shall we do now?

-Let's have another hug!

THEY LAUGH

Hello, Tommy? Yes. This is Nick Carlson,

Dad Thingy. Mm. You know the party's cancelled?

There's no water in the pool.

Er... I drank it!

Quick! We need more excuses! Think! Think!

-There's a shark in the pool.

-Hmm. Used it.

HE CHATTERS

Use the SAME excuse?

-Is that allowed?

-Well, it COULD work.

Yeah. Second-hand excuses!

We're kind of recycling!

Oh, it's all very eco, isn't it?

We can cancel the party AND save the planet!

FIEND LAUGHS

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Hello, Charlie?

DOOR CLICKS

Eddie! You're back!

-Did you cancel my party?

-Yeah. We wanted you home

-to tell you that we've made up!

-Isn't it great?

We like each other again!

-HE GIGGLES

-Oh, yeah! Great!

-Because I don't like YOU.

-Huh?

-Say what?

-You ruined my first party, and now you've ruined the second.

This is the worst birthday ever!

But let's play! Oh, come on, Eddie - be Eddie!

Yeah! Be Eddie, Eddie!

HE WHIMPERS

Guys, I'm his sister, OK? I'm allowed to treat him badly,

but you aren't.

You three have behaved very selfishly.

If you ever expect Eddie to forgive you,

you have a lot of making up to do.

I really wanted to go swimming.

NORMAN WHIMPERS

-FIEND SIGHS

-Any minute now

Eddie will run in here with a big grin on his face!

You'll see! Any...

minute...now.

-He's not coming, is he?

-No!

THEY SOB

He may never be our friend again!

-How long is "never"?

-I don't know!

Maybe even a whole day!

THEY ALL WAIL

-What are we going to do?

-I don't...

Hey!

I think I might know how we can make it up to him!

I mean...

it's a radical solution. I'm thinking way outside the box here!

Just say it!

-Rubbish birthday, huh?

-The very worst.

-Hey, you still have my present to open.

-I'll do it later.

No. I think you should do it right now. It's really good -

like, really good. Did I mention it's really good?

-Is it homemade?

-No, not this time.

I bought it from a real shop, with real money.

-What is it?

-Well, you'll just have to come downstairs and find out.

Come on!

Come on!

HE SIGHS

-Happy birthday!

-Surprise!

-Surprise!

You decided to show up!

It was their idea to throw you a party.

That doesn't change anything. I'm still angry.

-THEY SIGH

-Sorry, Eddie.

Yeah. Sorry, Eddie. NORMAN CHATTERS UNHAPPILY

You did it! You said sorry!

-We did?

-You see?

Monsters CAN say sorry. You felt bad, and you apologised!

Wow! This is amazing!

You know, saying sorry has actually lifted a huge weight

off my shoulders. I feel light as a feather!

Whoa, hang on. What's happening?

-Quick! Somebody grab me!

-THEY LAUGH

Agh!

I'm not a bird thingy! I don't like heights!

-THEY LAUGH

-Oh, yeah! That's right!

Mock me! Laugh at the little green flying monster.

What's the view like from up there?

It's actually pretty good! Hey, Human Dad Thingy -

did you know you've got a little bald patch on top of your head?

What? No, I do not.

Oh! And the top of the bookcase could do with a good dusting.

Why don't you do it while you're up there?

Sure! Want me to lick it off?

THEY GROAN

Here, Eddie! Eddie, Eddie! We got you a present, too.

-You did?

-Yeah. We made it all by ourselves - from fruit.

HE TRILLS AND POPS

Yes, and a little bit of bogey to hold it together.

Oh, this I've got to see.

Oh, my gosh! Wow! That's amazing! A jeep!

And it's even better than the one in the shop!

Shucks! NORMAN CLUCKS MODESTLY

-OK, Angela. I'll open your present now.

-Er...

No. It's fine. We'll, um... We'll open it later.

Hey, Eddie! We made you a special monster birthday drink!

Ooh! Er... Ta-daaah!

Have you ever had a spit cocktail?

-Ew!

-Hey, a lot of effort went into that!

The jug didn't just fill itself, you know.

OK, guys! This way for some really nasty party food.

-THEY LAUGH AND SHOUT

-Hey... Hey, guys?

Wait! Don't leave me up here! Hello?

Wait, guys! Wait... Oh, hey!

-That's where that bogey ball went.

-HE CHUCKLES

Oh...

Whoa!

It's actually quite relaxing.

Ready?

One, two...

-three...

-NORMAN CHATTERS

THEY ALL SHOUT Happy birthday!

Just...brings a tear to your eye. Literally.

Are you going to make a wish?

I wish that we never fall out again.

-Who wants a slice of birthday cake?

-ME!

-Me.

'I guess friends argue from time to time,

'but really good friends always make up again,

'and Fiend, Haggis and Norman are the best.'

-Hey, let's play some party games!

-Yeah!

-Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey!

-Yeah! Where's the donkey?

-We don't have one.

-Oh.

Pin-the-tail-on-Dad-Thingy!

Keep away from me.

Here, little donkey...

-OK. No, no, no...

-Here, little donkey!

That's... That's... Whoa, that's close enough!

Aaargh!

FIEND CACKLES

I won!

This is the best birthday ever!

Can I have my birthday present now?

Oh, that!

-It's still my birthday, you know.

-Yeah.

OK,

I guess.

Wow! A jeep! That's so cool! That's what I really wanted!

-Thanks, sis!

-That's all right!

Well, what about the monsters' present?

That's not a jeep. It's a fruit salad.

THEY LAUGH

# Don't be sad or lonely

# If you need someone to hold your hand

# Me and my monsters can #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]

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