Bump in the Road Millie Inbetween


Bump in the Road

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Dad and Amber are trying to get a bigger place, together.

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Which is great, because sharing one room between four kids is mad.

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Even if it is only two at a time.

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And with Jake sleeping in your room, who knows what you might find.

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SHE SIGHS

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SHE GASPS

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Mm, sticky.

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Mind you, her hair did taste delicious.

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One problem is, now Dad and Amber

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are working so hard to save up for the new place,

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they hardly get to see each other.

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ALARM BLEEPS

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Oh, I feel like I've hardly slept.

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It's my alarm.

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Oh.

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So, the flat's a mess, we're living off toast,

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there's no bedtime - what is not to like?

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Except when we forget the washing.

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-Oh.

-Oh.

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Oh, there's chips in the oven, call Tracy back,

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Jake broke your Hibs mug, got to go, bye.

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What did he say?

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Something about chips and Hibs. I've got to lie down, I'm sorry.

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CROWD CHEERS

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Go on, shoot, shoot!

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Can you not do that another time?

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When, the middle of the night?

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I need to watch this now.

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You need to find an interest,

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before you become half-boy, half-sofa.

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-I have an interest, Sharon.

-Great. What is it?

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Watching telly.

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HOOVER WHIRS

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CROWD CHEERS

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Your team lose 2-0. Heard it on the radio.

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Mum, can I get help with my biology?

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I don't get genes.

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They are tricky, aren't they?

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High-rise, overalls, culottes - so many options.

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Not right now, sweetheart. I've still got to work out

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where we're going to put everyone, I'm sorry.

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Well, I'm in my room, obviously.

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It's not just yours, and you weren't even supposed to be here.

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OK...

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Dad, why didn't you tell Amber we were coming this week?

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HE SIGHS

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I've no idea where everyone's going to sleep.

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Except you, Dad, you're on the air mattress.

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Tony, we've got to be more organised.

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-Shouldn't be too hard.

-I'm sorry, my bad, I've had a shocking day.

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-Well, not literally, but...

-Can you move the toolkit?

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Yeah, I will in a minute, I just need to clear these messages and...

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HE SINGS TO HIMSELF

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Oh, not that one, I won't be able to get it out of my head now.

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Little things are starting to wind them up,

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like how Dad hums theme tunes.

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And Amber puts ketchup on everything.

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Dad used to think it was cute.

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Why are you putting ketchup on a cracker?

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Because there's nothing else to put it on. Where's the shopping?

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-Shopping?

-Tony, I asked you to pick up some food after work.

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Don't tell me you've forgotten that as well?

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-I'm starving.

-All right, just don't worry.

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I'll whip something up using...

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eggs and...

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-..gherkins.

-THEY GROAN

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Tony, you can't just keep forgetting everything but work!

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-Where's Jake?

-Jake!

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I forgot to pick him up from running.

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BANGING

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Ow! Toolkit!

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Sorry!

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You watching telly? Again?

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It's not a telly, Sharon, it's a laptop.

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Well, it's a little telly with a keyboard on it.

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I wouldn't mind, but you're not exactly curing diseases, are you?

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You're watching cat videos.

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Oh, Cat On A Lilo?

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Check it out, he doesn't see the pool-cleaning robot and then...

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-Boom!

-Ooh! Who knew a cat could jump that high?!

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Anyway, mate, you shouldn't be watching screens all day.

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Go and do something useful, go on.

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You as well?

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Cheers, Dad(!)

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I don't want to be a nag,

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but he does really need to find another interest.

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You know, before his eyes melt.

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Yeah, no, I'll have a word, if I can get his attention.

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Oh, look! It's a cat on a skateboard.

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Oh, cat.

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-You having fun?

-Oh, hi, Craig.

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No, we're just trying to figure out how to turn it off.

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Yeah, right.

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Well, excuse me, I've got to go and do my homework.

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KETCHUP SQUIRTS

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You don't have to smother it.

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You won't taste the delicate gherkin-y flavour.

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That's sort of the idea.

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PHONE RINGS

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Well, don't get it now, we're eating.

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I have to.

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Hi, Dave, how are you, mate?

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No, no, it's not a bad time.

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-All right?

-Craig, what's this?

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-This is a bass drum.

-Yeah, I can see that.

-Then why ask?

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I mean, what's it doing here?

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Oh, so, this is my new interest.

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I'm going to be a drummer.

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Great, isn't it? Yeah, I bought them second-hand off my mate Derek.

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-We had a man to man talk.

-What, you and Derek?

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No, me and Craig. We decided that you're absolutely right -

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he needs something to do - and he's always wanted to play the drums.

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-Oh, but won't that be a little bit loud?

-No, no, no, we'll stuff them

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-with pillows.

-Oh, does that make them quieter?

-Yes.

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And a lot more comfortable to sleep on. Don't worry,

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-you'll hardly notice.

-I can't wait to get started, Sharon.

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I even got myself some heavy-duty sticks.

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Oh, bless him!

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He's like a kid at Christmas.

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And we owe it all to you. Mwah!

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LAUGHTER

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You can't play basketball in the library, dummy.

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Why would they have wastepaper baskets then?

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-Smells good.

-It's pizzas for tea.

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Why are there only three pizza boxes?

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Shall we go and sit down?

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MILLIE SINGS TO HERSELF

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LAUGHTER

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We've got something to say.

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You all know that things have been a bit difficult lately.

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You could say erm, that we've hit a sort of dead end.

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Maybe that's the wrong word, er...

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What Tony's trying to say is, we've decided to take a bit of a break.

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Going on holiday?

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Don't you get it?

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They're splitting up.

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No, no, we're not, erm...

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Just having some time apart.

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-Giving each other some space.

-Yeah, right.

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Where have I heard that before?

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But what about us kids? We've only just got used to each other.

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Aye, we're thinking of you.

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If we have any doubts, then it's not fair on all of you.

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Not after everything you've been through.

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It's only going to be for a little while, right?

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We'll see how that goes, pal.

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I've packed our stuff and I think we should go home in a minute.

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This is our home!

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SHE CRIES

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Wow, no, that's major.

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Wait, that doesn't mean you're going to be at ours more, does it?

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No! And thanks for the sympathy.

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I didn't see it coming.

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On the bright side, at least we get our room back.

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I'm just looking for the silver lining.

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Fran, I've saved a seat for you!

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What's the point? We're going to drift apart.

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You probably won't even want to know us any more.

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Will you shut up and sit down!

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Oi, you can't sit next to me here.

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-I don't know him!

-See? Told you.

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Stop that.

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-OK? Now, are we going to take this lying down?

-Yes.

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We've all been here before. They act all noble and before you know it,

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they're fighting over the DVD collection.

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But we're still going to be friends?

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Of course we will. They can't stop us seeing each other.

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That would be awkward, though - Mum and Tony would have to meet.

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So? Tough.

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Maybe that's not such a bad thing.

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What, Tony and Amber?

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-Are you sure?

-Yeah, Millie told me on the bus.

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Gave them the old fireside chat -

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"Guess what? We're dumping each other."

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-Well, they didn't say that.

-"We need some time apart."

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Well, that's hardly the same thing.

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It was with you and Mum.

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Poor Tony. I mean, I know he's not easy to live with,

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but Amber seemed really...tolerant.

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Hey, erm...

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You're OK, aren't you?

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What? Oh, yeah, of course. We're fine.

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I was just checking.

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Oh, Craig, don't eat in front of the telly!

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Telly? Who needs telly?

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I'm going to be spending some quality time with my babies.

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Hear that? His babies. That's down to you, that is.

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Made him a drum daddy.

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Well, it's all about finding the right motivator.

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-Oh, I hope Tony's OK.

-He'll be fine!

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A bump in the road is just nature's way of saying

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you need a new exhaust.

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We're so lucky to have each other.

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-We're in a great place right now.

-And nothing is going to change that.

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DRUMMING

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Oh, well, at least he's getting the hang of it.

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Yeah, like you said, they'll be much quieter once you stuff them

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-with pillows.

-They are stuffed with pillows.

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HE SIGHS

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Bring my puzzle book and run me a bubble bath. I'm cocooning.

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Well, I hope you turn into a beautiful butterfly.

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Or at least get dressed.

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TV PLAYS SAD MUSIC

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So, here we are again, eh?

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Cos I'll never find anyone else.

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I'll be alone forever. Just me and you and Lauren.

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And Fran.

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-She's coming over.

-Fran?

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-How's she getting here?

-How do you think? Amber's bring her.

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DOOR BUZZER

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Amber?

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Erm... Ah!

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-Hi, sorry, wasn't expecting you.

-Weren't you?

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Cos it looks like you dressed up especially.

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Hey, Fran. You want to come in for a bit?

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No, I don't think so. Thanks.

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-OK, see you, Mum.

-Bye.

-Bye.

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So...how's it going?

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You know.

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-Less stressful?

-Wouldn't be hard.

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-Made any more gherkin omelettes?

-Aye, I'm bringing out a cookbook,

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"Meals When You Forgot To Shop."

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Hey, listen, if you like, I can bring Fran back to yours later.

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You know, save you another trip.

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Oh, thanks, yeah, that'd be really...

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PHONE RINGS

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Hi, Dave.

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-No, no, not a bad time.

-Actually...

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No, no, you need to replace the control fuse,

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but you need a box spanner to get to it.

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Don't bother, I'll pick her up myself.

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The keys are next door with Mrs Francis.

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Aye.

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It's your turn, you've got to do something with Jake today.

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-No.

-We're trying to get Dad and Amber to meet up, remember?

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You know what, you're right.

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Now he doesn't have Amber, he can devote himself to you.

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He can make sure you're doing all your homework,

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vet all your boyfriends...

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-Hm.

-..and keep an eye on what you're doing online.

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You know what, I might go see what Jake is up to today,

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give him a call.

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Craig!

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I brought you some cereal.

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Cheers. Just put it down there.

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I'm working on my rolling thunder.

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Oh, look!

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It's your favourite TV programme, The World's Weirdest Animals.

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You don't want to miss that.

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That's OK, I've got to practise a lot.

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I don't want to jinx it, but I could be onto something big.

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Oh, I heard a joke, do you want to hear it?

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What do you call a person that hangs around with musicians?

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A drummer.

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A drummer!

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CYMBAL CLASHES

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Why are you meeting Jake in the park?

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He wants us to jog his fun run course.

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Oh, I promised him I'd go to that.

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-There they are!

-"They"?

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-Aw!

-Come on!

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-So, I keep a nice pace through the middle...

-Hi.

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Hey, Lauren. Hi, Tony.

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-I'll come back and get you later.

-Oh, Dad, just sit and have a coffee.

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-We won't be long, come on, Jake.

-OK.

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Wait until you see the course, it runs...

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-You're looking well.

-Thanks.

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Nice to see you got dressed.

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Thanks.

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HE HUMS TO HIMSELF

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You don't even know you're doing it, do you?

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Doing what?

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SHE SIGHS

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If there's not enough there, I'll get you another bottle.

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-Do you know what, I think I'm going to go for a walk.

-Fine.

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-Aw!

-Oh, Tony, I'm so sorry.

-The state of my trackies!

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-Are you laughing at me?

-No, I'm sorry.

-You are, you're laughing.

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SHE LAUGHS

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You spilled milkshake down me and now you're laughing.

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I'm sorry!

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SHE KEEPS LAUGHING

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Dad looked like he'd laid down in a milk puddle.

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It was so embarrassing, I made him walk behind me.

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But still, our plan's working.

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They told us they'd decided to be friends.

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Yeah, that's good, isn't it?

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Are you kidding? It's almost worse. Now Dad's in the friendzone.

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OK, so, we have to do something.

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What about a big romantic dinner?

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We invite Amber round, but don't tell her why.

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Yeah, we can get loads of flowers.

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-Right! And fairy lights.

-And a fresh bucket of popcorn.

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What's romantic about popcorn?

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The smell.

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So, when are we going to go for it?

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If our dad's in the friendzone, as soon as possible.

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DRUMMING

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Mike, the drums have to go!

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It was your idea, and it's a genius one! I've never seen him like this.

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Maybe he could take up something quieter? You know, like mime.

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Honestly, he's like a different kid, he's all lit up.

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Well...

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CYMBALS CLASH

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Oh, I can't take it, it's like living in a bowling alley!

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Either those drums go or I do.

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All right, I'll have a word!

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DOOR SLAMS

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-Lauren! Can I come out now?

-No, it's a surprise.

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It's not my birthday, is it?

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Just put on the clothes I chose for you and be quiet.

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MUSIC: My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion

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Oh, no, you haven't!

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DOOR BUZZER

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Oh!

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-Hi, come in.

-Hey.

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You look nice.

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# I see you, I feel you... #

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It's not how it looks.

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Surprise! We cooked you dinner.

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I'm sure that Amber has to get back.

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Oh, for goodness' sake, it's fine.

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We are friends, aren't we?

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HE SIGHS

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Yeah, yeah, all right, OK.

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Yes!

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Come on.

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-Thank you.

-All right.

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What's that smell?

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Oh, popcorn.

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Under the table. Enjoy.

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For my special starter, tower of salad. And following, spaghetti.

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Come on, let's go.

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Go!

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-What are you doing?

-Oh, come on, let me stay.

-No, we're leaving.

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# ..my heart will go on and on. #

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Almost makes gherkin omelette look good.

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This is all a bit over the top.

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How sweet is it, though?

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I can't believe how much the kids want to see each other.

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Tony...

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I know things have been a bit difficult between us,

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but I wonder if we could...

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PHONE RINGS

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Sorry! Erm...

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Hi, Dave.

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Have the new room specifications come through?

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Is everyone happy?

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-I bet they'll be back together before pudding.

-Yeah.

0:18:470:18:49

Let the popcorn do its work.

0:18:490:18:51

-DOWNSTAIRS:

-..just because you're working hard.

0:18:510:18:54

You still have to cook and clean the bath!

0:18:540:18:56

Well, the bath doesn't need cleaning all the time,

0:18:560:18:58

-it upsets its natural ecology.

-That's unhygienic!

0:18:580:19:01

Yeah, so is covering the kitchen table

0:19:010:19:02

with bits of an oily motorbike!

0:19:020:19:04

TONY SIGHS

0:19:050:19:07

Oh, ketchup on a salad. What are you going to put it on next?

0:19:080:19:13

Mum, no, don't!

0:19:130:19:14

THEY GASP

0:19:140:19:16

Come on, kids, we're leaving.

0:19:160:19:19

-But what about dinner?

-I want to stay.

-Go!

0:19:190:19:22

-Please, Mum!

-I don't understand.

0:19:220:19:24

Look on the bright side. At least you got out of the friendzone.

0:19:290:19:33

Just in the wrong direction.

0:19:330:19:35

I don't think I can be the guy that she wants me to be.

0:19:350:19:39

-What guy is that?

-An on-time guy who remembers every little detail.

0:19:390:19:45

-Like food?

-All right, every big detail.

0:19:450:19:50

Your mum wanted to make me someone I wasn't, and look how that ended.

0:19:500:19:54

Trust us, Dad, Amber is not Mum.

0:19:540:19:57

What worries me the most

0:19:570:19:59

is the thought of ever putting you two through that again.

0:19:590:20:03

No, you're banned.

0:20:080:20:11

We made a romantic dinner for you and you squirt ketchup all over him?

0:20:110:20:14

I don't get it. I thought you loved Tony.

0:20:140:20:17

I do love him.

0:20:170:20:20

You know, he makes me laugh and he's thoughtful and kind.

0:20:200:20:23

Oh, and he can do impressions.

0:20:230:20:26

Yeah, but the thing is, can I count on him?

0:20:260:20:28

Because, after your dad, I think I've had it with unreliable men.

0:20:280:20:32

Tony's not like Dad. For starters, he doesn't wear leather trousers.

0:20:320:20:37

Yeah, but what if he walks away like your dad did?

0:20:370:20:40

I'd never forgive myself if you two got hurt again.

0:20:400:20:43

We're all right, aren't we? Come on, The Three Musketeers, one for all...

0:20:440:20:48

ALL: ..and all for lunch.

0:20:480:20:51

That's it.

0:20:510:20:54

Come on, we don't want to be late for Jake's run.

0:20:540:20:57

Sorry, Craig, it's just that I'm in the house all the time.

0:20:580:21:01

Oh, Sharon, it's OK. I'm sorry too, but it's OK.

0:21:010:21:04

The band, they've found a space where they want me to rehearse.

0:21:040:21:07

-Wait, "the band"?

-Oh, yeah, Sharon, I told you I was onto something big.

0:21:070:21:11

I've joined a band.

0:21:110:21:14

-You're in a band?

-Yes! The Drooling Mummies.

0:21:140:21:18

Not mummies like you, mummies like...

0:21:180:21:20

HE IMITATES MUMMY

0:21:200:21:22

Sweet, yeah? It's all down to you.

0:21:220:21:24

I just want to say thanks, Sharon,

0:21:260:21:28

for getting me up off the sofa and that. Nice one.

0:21:280:21:32

See, what did I tell you? He just needed an interest.

0:21:360:21:39

Here, let me help you out with that.

0:21:390:21:41

So, this band, does it rehearse far away?

0:21:410:21:44

Three nines.

0:21:440:21:46

Four fours.

0:21:470:21:49

Five twos.

0:21:500:21:52

-THEY LAUGH BOTH:

-Cheat!

0:21:520:21:55

PHONE BLEEPS

0:21:550:21:56

Stop it, cheater!

0:21:560:21:58

-Oh, no!

-What is it?

0:21:580:22:00

I promised Jake I'd go to his fun run.

0:22:000:22:02

I set a reminder ages ago, so I'd remember.

0:22:020:22:05

He'll be gutted, but I can't just turn up.

0:22:050:22:08

-Are you kidding? This is perfect.

-Seriously, you have to go.

0:22:080:22:12

I'm not even dressed, and even if I make it, I'll be well late.

0:22:120:22:15

And you know what Amber was like if I was late.

0:22:150:22:17

Well, this is your chance to show her what you're made of.

0:22:170:22:19

Aye, jelly!

0:22:190:22:21

I don't feel very well. My elbows hurt.

0:22:210:22:24

Besides, my van's in the garage.

0:22:240:22:27

Looks like you'll be having a fun run of your own to the park then.

0:22:270:22:30

Oh, no!

0:22:300:22:32

Go, go, go.

0:22:320:22:33

What do you think, Mum, should I wear my blue or striped top?

0:22:350:22:38

Sorry, what do you keep looking for, Jake?

0:22:380:22:41

Tony said he would come.

0:22:410:22:44

Oh, sweetheart, look, Tony might have changed his mind.

0:22:440:22:48

He won't. He promised.

0:22:480:22:51

Stop, wait!

0:22:560:22:59

I can't.

0:22:590:23:00

-Argh, I'm too late.

-No, Dad, come on.

0:23:000:23:03

I can't!

0:23:030:23:05

If you don't hurry up, then we're going to miss it

0:23:050:23:07

-and then you're going to be mayor of the friendzone.

-Let's go!

0:23:070:23:10

HE SIGHS

0:23:100:23:11

OK.

0:23:110:23:13

In what way is this a fun run?

0:23:130:23:15

All runners to your starting positions, please.

0:23:170:23:20

But he swore on his galactic oath.

0:23:220:23:24

Jake, I tried to tell you.

0:23:240:23:26

I mean, he's probably just got a call from Dave

0:23:260:23:29

-and had to drop everything.

-Hey, pal.

0:23:290:23:31

Are you ready for the off?

0:23:310:23:33

You came!

0:23:330:23:34

Millie!

0:23:360:23:38

-I told you he'd come.

-I'm so sorry I'm late, sorry.

0:23:380:23:41

You don't have to say sorry, not for keeping your promise to Jake.

0:23:410:23:45

He's over the moon.

0:23:450:23:47

And I feel pretty good too.

0:23:470:23:49

Hello, Mr Mayor? Time to get out of the friendzone.

0:23:510:23:55

Kiss her.

0:23:580:24:00

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh.

0:24:020:24:05

Yes, Dave, this is a bad time.

0:24:070:24:10

Whoo!

0:24:130:24:15

THEY LAUGH

0:24:150:24:17

-Yes!

-Urgh!

0:24:170:24:19

I really want you in my life.

0:24:220:24:24

All of you.

0:24:250:24:27

But this getting a bigger place, it's messed everything up.

0:24:270:24:30

-We're back to where we started.

-No, wait, I have an idea.

0:24:300:24:35

You should all just move in.

0:24:350:24:38

Say what? Dad's place is too small, so put more people in it?

0:24:380:24:41

It would work, because we did it before.

0:24:410:24:44

But that was only temporary.

0:24:440:24:46

And so would this be - well, until you got a bigger place.

0:24:460:24:50

If you move in, that would save one lot of rent,

0:24:500:24:53

so you two wouldn't have to work as hard to save up.

0:24:530:24:56

That is so mad...

0:24:580:25:01

that it might just work.

0:25:010:25:03

Yes, Jake, what do you think?

0:25:060:25:08

I think I...

0:25:080:25:10

missed the race.

0:25:100:25:12

-Go!

-Go!

-Go, Jake!

0:25:120:25:14

THEY LAUGH

0:25:140:25:17

Dad and Amber are over their bump in the road

0:25:210:25:24

and the wheels haven't come off.

0:25:240:25:26

They're all moving into Dad's flat - hooray!

0:25:260:25:29

But also...

0:25:290:25:31

LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

0:25:310:25:33

SHOUTING: That's the sounds of The Drooling Mummies.

0:25:340:25:38

He needed a place to rehearse for a few days,

0:25:380:25:41

so Mike offered them our house.

0:25:410:25:43

It's just while the guitarist's dad finishes painting the garage.

0:25:450:25:48

What?

0:25:480:25:50

The guitarist's dad, he's painting the... Never mind.

0:25:500:25:54

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