The Guitar Hero Millie Inbetween

Nope, don't worry. The boiler hasn't packed in.

My dad's taking me ice-skating. I can't wait.

He's surprisingly graceful on ice. Like a sea lion.

Hot!

This is the third time lucky.

He had to cancel me...twice!

The first time, he'd forgot he'd said he'd drive Granny to the airport.

Nine letters. Does not like to be kept waiting.

Ah! Impatient.

Granny!

And the second time, he cancelled because he forgot to pick her up!

The largest of the Canary Isles?

Ah! Tenerife.

Isn't that where...?

Granny!

So he swore nothing was going to stop him from taking me this time.

What?

Called out on a job?

No way!

Dad!

MUSIC: Shake It Off by Taylor Swift

Ahem.

Oh! I thought you were going ice-skating?

I thought I was walking into our kitchen...

not the world's weirdest music video.

It's chores plus a workout. It's chore aerobics!

Or, as I like to call it, Strictly Come Drying.

Dad had to cancel ice-skating...

again.

Which I am totally fine about.

Hmmm.

Well, in the meantime, some dish dancing?

No, ta. I'm doing the homework hop!

Sure. All right. Bye.

Tony, um...

Hey! There they are! So? How was school?

Oh, you know. Like a big square box full of teachers.

Hey, don't just fill up on junk food. That's my job.

No, do. You're going to need a sugar rush.

Your dad's coming over.

-Dad's coming today?

-Uh-huh.

Wow. Is it that time of year already?

-Jokes!

-Ah, yes! It's been ages.

He's going to tell us like a million stories.

Yep and maybe some of them will even be true.

OK, go and get changed you two.

Andy's coming here? Your cool ex-husband Andy.

Andy the cool guy who travels round the world

being cool on a cool motorbike.

All right, cool it. Andy's not that great.

Jake thinks he's amazing.

And what if I look like a complete loser next to him?

Tony! Just relax and be yourself.

That way you could never be a loser.

Just in case, maybe we should wash the peanut butter out of your hair?

-Ah, you see?

-I'm just saying.

-Agh.

Hi, guys.

Ha. That monkey eats weird.

Where are the other two?

They're picking fleas out of each other's fur and eating them.

Millie and Lauren?

They went upstairs, or at least, that's what the note says.

Note. Right, what's going on?

The girls are upstairs, you guys are down here.

You want us to swap rooms?

No, I want you to be able to spend time together.

Mike.

Mike? It's great that you and Craig are so tight.

But couldn't you make an effort with the girls too?

No, no. I love hanging out with...um...

Millie and Lauren?

-Jokes!

-I've got it.

How about we play a round of Fart Or Burp with them?

Something the girls might actually enjoy?

Like what?

Well, see if you can work it out.

-I'm going to go and check on them.

-Oh, no need. I've got a system.

KNOCK ON THE CEILING

Right, Lauren says they're fine but wants to know what's for dinner?

Ha.

Ha.

BUZZER SOUNDS

-Hey, Andy's here.

-I'll get it, shall I?

-How's my hair?

-Um...good...I think.

Long time no see. Look who's here, everyone.

-Anyone know where I can find a couple of tearaways?

-Here!

One. OK, OK. That's enough.

-You did ten last time.

-But you're getting too big for me, aren't you?

Me next!

I'm only joking! I'm Tony.

It's great to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you.

Cool, man.

Franster.

Double fist bump?

No, we're not bringing that back.

Hello, again.

What, are we royalty now? Get in here!

So, Dad, what have you been up to?

You met any more famous people?

As a matter of fact, I have.

Battleaxe. The best heavy metal band ever to rock.

-I'm a total Battleaxe fanboy.

-Well, I played with them.

-Stepped in for their drummer at the last minute.

-No way!

-No way, you play?

-I told you we used to be in a rock band.

We certainly did, Spikey.

What you used to be in a band... Wait, who's Spikey?

OK, have fun, everyone.

Right, you two, tell me everything. Leave absolutely nothing out.

In fact, put more in!

Sharon, what are the chances of you and Dad buying me a ticket

to Superhero Fest?

Er, I'd say roughly the same

as Captain Incredible and Professor Evil holding hands on a swing?

-You know about them?

-I'm not a complete dinosaur, Craig.

Yeah, all right. I heard it on the radio.

But tickets are pricey. One bar of plutonium each.

Yeah, but it's my only chance to ever meet my comic book hero -

-Electric Eel Man.

-All right, I'll talk to Mike.

Maybe we can make it for your birthday or something?

But don't hold your breath, Underwater Boy.

Mum? I need you to get me a ticket to Superhero Fest.

You want to meet Electric Eel Man?

No, I want to meet Hanson Tyler - the hottie who plays him.

-Lauren, I can't afford to buy you both a ticket.

-That's not fair.

I've read Electric Eel comics for years. I'm a true fan!

You don't want to let Electric Eel man slip through your fingers.

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, I'm just so on it today.

Anyway, I loved Hanson Tyler

even when he had a super dodgy haircut tragedy. I'm a superfan.

-Well, I'm a megafan.

-I'm an ultrafan!

And I'm being driven mad by you two.

Look, I heard there's a ticket to be won on Smash Sounds FM.

Maybe one of you could use your superpowers and try and win it.

No, use the landline please. Cheaper.

What, this thing?

How do you unlock it?

Millie, are you trying to fly?

I was finding my centre of gravity.

I'll need it for my camel spin.

-Your what?

-It's an ice-skating move.

Me and Dad are going this Saturday.

Oh, cool. Right, well, then you won't want to hang out with me then.

Hang out with you?

Yeah, I was going to ask if we could do something together.

Like what?

Um...

-Take your time.

-Basketball?

-Seriously?

-Did Mum put you up to this?

-No. It was all my idea.

Mike, you don't have to do that.

I've got Dad to do stuff with.

And, you know, he actually enjoys it.

Well, I mean, I would enjoy it. Well, I tried.

Yeah. You tried.

Forget it.

How did it go, Captain Inclusive?

Well, I asked, but she shot me down.

At least you tried.

I mean, you can't win them all, I suppose.

I tried.

But not that hard.

It's called Street Dance Off,

-which is weird cos we do it in the gym hall.

-Nice one, kid.

This is my solo. Watch carefully.

MUSIC STARTS AND STOPS ABRUPTLY

Well? What do you think?

I thought it was brief.

But...powerful.

That wasn't a solo. You just went off the wrong way.

Ow!

Oh, yeah? You think you could get up on stage

and perform in front of a crowd like your big sis? It's not that easy.

Any day. I take after my dad.

Well, you might have to prove that by getting up on stage yourself...

with me.

-What, did you plan something?

-Nah! Only messing.

-Oh.

Ha! Got you again!

I entered us into the Air Guitar Finals!

What? Really?

HE SCREECHES

What's happened? Is there blood?

Dad and I are going into the Air Guitar Finals.

Ah, I always wanted to do that!

Yeah, thanks for running that one by me.

So, have you planned anything for us too?

Oh, sorry, sweetheart. It was just a one-off thing.

But next time, it's me and you, yeah? I promise.

Doesn't matter.

So, are you ready to set the stage on fire with your old man?

But if we set the stage on fire, what will we stand on?

-Mum?

-Mmm?

Do you think Dad's going to let him down?

Do you think that?

He's not exactly reliable.

Remember when he left me behind at the garage?

He was so excited that his bike was fixed, he forgot I even existed.

That was... That was really bad.

But Jake's not that excited about the competition.

Pow! Pow!

HE WARBLES

OK, he is a bit excited.

But we have to give your dad a chance.

Another one?

Yeah.

Now, what are we going to do while those two losers

are pretending to play invisible guitars, eh?

Mike...again! How weird.

Indoor trampoline park! Bounce your brains out!

All the kids are doing it!

-Good for them.

-And for us to do together!

Look, I'll tell Mum you asked me, OK?

Get her off your back.

Hi, Dad. I'm leaving my Ghost Clan DVDs with you.

That'll be for Fran and Amber's film marathon, Saturday, yeah?

Saturday? That rings a bell.

What have I got on this Saturday?

Hey. Very funny.

I have not forgotten that we are going ice-skating...again.

You won't be late?

I'll get my skates on! Ha-ha! My skates on.

Hi, Millie. This is my dad Andy.

-All right, Millie?

-Nice to meet you.

Guess what? Dad entered us into the Air Guitar Finals.

Which we're going to storm.

That sounds amazing! Well, my dad is taking me ice-skating.

-Sweet.

-You're brave.

I wouldn't be seen dead in those hideous boots they rent out.

Well, it wouldn't really work

if they rented out biker boots now, would it?

They're not so good on the ice.

You might fall on your face.

-RADIO:

-Are you ready to be the winner of a golden ticket to Comic Fest?

-Craig on line one.

-No!

Born ready, DJ PJ!

OK, Craig. Your question is on Electric Eel Man.

Do you know much about that crackly, slippery, super guy?

Only like everything. I'm a treble megafan.

-What is the middle name...

-Eel!

..of the actor Hanson Tyler who plays him?

Going to have to rush you, Craig.

-Lauren, give me the answer.

-No way!

-Lauren, please?

What's it worth?

-I'll do all your chores for a week.

-Make it a month?

-Time's running out, Craig.

-OK.

-Cool. It's Derek!

-Derek!

Your answer is Hanson Derek Tyler.

It's the wrong answer I'm afraid, Craig.

We were looking for...

BOTH: Hanson Phoenix Tyler.

Goodbye, Craigster.

You would have thought that I'd have known that,

me being a massive superfan and all.

Derek?

He'll be here soon. It's our first rehearsal.

He was supposed to be here an hour ago, so...

Yeah, he's probably just choosing the music.

Just saying, he's been known to let people down.

You're just jealous cos I get on better with Dad than you do.

OK. That's it.

I'm going to have to bring up the dreaded sport's day incident.

Argh. Just get over it.

Hey, what's going on?

I'm trying to tell Jake that Dad isn't going to show up.

Well, tell her that she's wrong and she's stupid.

Jake, hon.

All we're trying to say is - this is your dad.

There's a good chance that he might not show up.

BUZZER SOUNDS I'll get it.

Andy's here.

Finally.

See? Told ya.

Jake, go and put your trainers on, please.

-But, Mum...

-Please. I need to have a word with your dad.

You're over an hour late.

I know it looks really bad, but there was an emergency.

Oh? What happened?

I was in the shopping centre

when this pregnant lady went into labour right in front of me.

Luckily, I remembered some of the midwifing basics you taught me.

-Wait. You remembered something that I said?

-Yeah.

And I tell you what,

you guys deserve a medal for doing that every day.

No. I deserve a medal for listening to all your excuses over the years.

Why didn't you just call an ambulance?

I took her to the hospital myself. It was much quicker.

Better for her, better for baby.

-Better for your excuses.

-It really happened.

So you came straight here from the hospital?

No, I went back to the shopping centre. I wanted to get this.

Oh.

The lady in the shop said those ones are really good for street dancers.

-Super bouncy heels.

-Thanks.

Can we practise now? The competition's tomorrow. Let's rock!

THEY IMITATE ELECTRIC GUITAR SOUNDS

-I don't buy it.

-Me neither. But he got me these cool shoes.

Let's just give him the benefit of the doubt, yeah?

It's not easy being a solo dad.

You're right. And it's not like you've been fooled by his cool act.

Hey, do you think he'll like my T-shirt?

Fuel for on the ice.

We're finally going ice-skating and there's no way Dad can forget.

I've reminded him all week.

Hey, Mills. I've got two words for you - Ghost Clan Five!

-You mean three?

-No, I'm pretty sure it's the fifth film.

No, it is. But Ghost Clan Five is three words.

Never mind the maths. What do you think about it?

Oh, it is supposed to be amazing.

The effects are so real, you can actually smell the wolf's breath.

So you want to see it?

Me? Too right!

But Mum would hate it.

You should probably think about taking her to see a romcom.

-They make her cry-laugh.

-What?

-Cry-laugh. You know, like...

SHE CHANGES BETWEEN LAUGHS AND SOBS

It's still a good shout though.

I'll ask Dad if he fancies going to see it.

That could be our next outing after ice-skating. Thanks, Mike.

I'm making some half-time ice-skating snacks for me and Mills.

"Iceberg" lettuce, "skate" wings, and "chilli" sauce!

She's going to love them.

Jake the snake! Woohoo!

Are you related to Spikey by any chance?

-You look cool, dude.

-Come on, get your stuff together.

Your dad will be here soon.

-Don't forget your air guitar!

-It's in this case.

Look, I'm sorry for being so down on Dad.

You two are going to rock!

That's the plan, man.

TEARING

I'm going to go...change.

Woo! Any sign yet?

Pow...

MOBILE PHONE TEXT ALERT

He's not coming.

Oh, love. I'm so sorry.

I should have listened to Fran.

Then I wouldn't have been sat here like a stupid cowboy clown.

Hey. Those are my clothes, pal, and I think you look great.

So do I. And you should still go.

You can't let your dad ruin your fun.

I can't. Dad entered us in as a duo. I need a partner.

Will you be my partner?

Oh love, I would. You know I would, but I'm on call.

This is classic Andy.

Maybe I could go?

You can't. It has to be an adult.

-Who me?

-Please?

I don't know the routines and I don't have snake hips

or lip curl or...

And to be honest, Jake, I don't think I could be like Andy.

Good. I don't want you to be.

I promised Mills, you see.

Doesn't matter. It was a stupid idea anyway.

Oh, come on.

-Let's do this thing!

-Really?

IMITATES ELECTRIC GUITAR SOUNDS

BUZZER SOUNDS

THEY IMITATE ELECTRIC GUITAR SOUNDS

I've got moves that will impress the pants off those judges!

Dad? There's no judges. We're skating for fun.

-Um, about that...

-Ha-ha. Nice one.

You're joking...right?

No. You see, Jake asked if I could...

Well, he'll just have to join the queue!

DOOR SLAMS

KNOCK ON DOOR

I can't be alone anywhere!

I'm sorry. It's your room too.

It's OK. It's a good place to storm off to.

You can get a nice loud slam of the door.

Weird place to keep your shoes.

My dad gave them to me. So I'm dumping them like he dumped Jake.

You can't depend on dads.

Tony's trying to be there for Jake. His heart's in the right place.

But his brain's just gone missing.

This is my dad's speciality.

He promises something, gets our hopes up,

lets us down and leaves a mess behind.

He does that a lot?

In the end, I just...

stopped believing in him.

I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let it go so far and...

I'll give you two a minute.

Mills, I'm so sorry.

I promise you, I didn't forget this time.

No. You just decided to hang out with Jake

instead of your own child...

I didn't. OK, I did.

..who you've let down for the fourth time.

Look, I just couldn't watch Jake go through it.

Andy dropped him just like that and I thought,

"I'd never do that to you."

Well, OK. I kind of am doing that to you. But...

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe I'm just as bad as Andy.

You're not bad.

I'm not?

Bad at cooking? Yes. Bad shirts? Definitely.

But not a bad dad.

Well, I will go in there right now

and explain to Jake that we're going ice-skating.

Oh, stop changing your mind!

-Right, so... What, so I should...

-Go with Jake.

Those judges deserve to see your ancient rock moves.

Oh, come here you.

They're not that ancient, OK?

Ah! Your signature move is called the caveman!

-A ticket to Superhero Fest?

-Where?

-SHE GASPS

-There was a charity raffle

in the staffroom at lunch. I had the winning ticket.

-Mum, that's amazing. Can I go?

-Nope.

-What?

Ha! Thank you, Sharon.

-Eh, you're not going either.

-What?!

-Ha! Right back at ya.

-To save a big fight, I'm going.

BOTH: What?

Yeah, I thought I'd check out what you kids are into these days.

-Hanson...

-Whatever!

Maybe I'll get a self piccie with him.

Mum, it's selfie! That ticket is so wasted on you.

Even I think Lauren should go over you.

I mean, at least she's a big fan of Hanson Tyler anyway.

No, you should give the ticket to Craig.

He's been into that comic book stuff since he was a little kid.

And I promise I won't huff...much.

SHE HUFFS

See? Who didn't huff much?

Well, I actually won two tickets.

Just wanted to see you two wriggle like Electric Eel Man.

Ha! Smashing it!

-Mum!

-Now you can go together!

-Thanks, Mum!

-Thanks, Sharon.

If anyone sees you're with me, I'm getting paid to hang out with you.

Ha, funny. As if I'd actually stand next to you.

SHE SIGHS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hey, Millie. I heard about your dad helping Jake out.

Yeah. He did a good thing.

So did you, sharing your dad.

I know how you feel. Sometimes I want Craig all to myself.

That could be arranged.

Listen, Mills?

I know I'm not your dad and you were looking forward

to going skating with him, but...

..would it be OK if I took you?

-You want to take me ice-skating?

-Uh-huh.

-Was this Mum's idea?

-No, no, all me.

I'd really like it if we could hang out.

As long as you keep a straight face

when I do my Olaf the snowman impression.

I can't promise, but I'll try.

-Whoa!

-Aah!

Bow to the kings of rock!

I can't believe you won!

Oh, those judges recognise rock royalty! I started with a windmill.

But the winning move was when Jake

-jumped from the top of one of the speakers.

-Ah!

Ah! Come on!

Well, Caveman, do you want to help me hunt for some food

-in the kitchen?

-Whagh!

You know? I don't mind if you say I told you so about Dad.

I've been there before remember?

Dad texted.

He said that the next time a gig like this pops up,

he's going to take me with him.

Sure.

Show me how to windmill?

Congratulations!

I thought your rock moves would be well past their sell-by date.

I prefer the judge's word - vintage.

Did you do something with Lauren?

Actually, Mike took me ice-skating.

Good on Mike.

I bet his moves weren't as good as mine though, eh?

His signature move is called the Olaf.

He took out two mums and half a troop of cubs.

I'd have probably taken out the whole troop so...

-Next time, eh?

-Night, Dad.

-Goodnight.

Agh.

Ice-skating - tick! Finally, thanks to Mike.

So, Jake borrowed my dad and I borrowed Craig's.

Now I just need to work out who to see Ghost Clan Five with.

Maybe I can get them both to take me. See it twice!