Going Green Millie Inbetween

It's the big Eco-Challenge at school.

Get your family doing something green for a week.

I could win a cool prize and I've heard it might be a goat.

And I'll be helping to save the planet, of course.

But the big question is, doing what?

Oh, Mum, can we grow veggies in the lounge?

No.

To win, I need an idea that no-one has ever thought of.

I'll look online.

Stupid phone!

Oh, no, I've really broken it this time.

Lauren?

Craig?

I've got it.

My winning idea.

But they're so not going to like it.

OK, my idea for the Big Eco-Challenge is...

we all stop using the internet for a week.

No way!

Not happening!

-Sorry, what?

-Mum, this is important.

Think of all the energy that we'll save and perhaps we'll talk

to each other a bit more.

I'll get the ball rolling.

I'm turning off my phone and it's not going back on.

Let's do this challenge

for the Earth.

Who's with me?

I'd rather go without make-up.

I've only just got my business online, it doesn't work if I'm off.

Yeah, Millie, give it up.

This is one fight you won't win.

And off the furniture, please.

That is so not how it goes in the films.

Feel the burn.

OK, last one.

And, good job, Stevo, I'll catch up with you on Friday.

Have you started calling your laptop "Stevo"?

No, of course not. My laptop's called Lenny.

No, it's a client of mine, Stevo. He's away working in Germany

and didn't want him to miss one of my shredding sessions.

Shred and shed. Yeah, I've always fancied having

my own fitness channel and now I, kind of, do.

Yeah, for now, until the internet gets completely bogged down

with all the adults using social media.

-That could happen.

-Who's to say, Mike?

Maybe the internet's a bit like...water.

If we waste it, we could run out.

I thought they just added more band height.

Or it uses up too much power, overheats and kaboom.

All because I posted a photo.

Mike, have you heard of the Big Eco-Challenge?

But, Mum, too much internet shortens attention span.

-Shortens the what?

-They did a study that showed brains get fried

when people constantly stayed at their phones.

Some brains were smaller than a cat's.

Smaller than a cat's what?

-Mum!

-Sorry. I keep checking my website,

to see if I've got any new orders. I just can't seem to stop myself.

You need some offline time.

I do.

I think we should all get behind Millie's excellent plan.

We need to take a break, so we can get on with

the more important things in life.

If the internet runs out, your mother won't have a business.

The internet doesn't just run out, Dad!

It's got too much burn depth.

It's only for a week.

-BOTH:

-A week?!

What about my streaks?

I'm a teenage boy, right,

I have some deep and complex emotions to express through emojis.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm with Craig.

If I'm not on the internet, I might as well be dead!

One week - except for important things,

-like work calls from Germany.

-Mike! No internet.

OK, OK.

All those in favour?

Motion carried.

-BOTH:

-No!

LAUREN BREATHES QUICKLY

(Murderer.)

Sorted, and that goat is as good as mine.

And it's great we'll be going back to Mother Nature, obviously.

This new turbo drill 180 has been upgraded.

It now packs even more power.

Mm-hm.

Oh, hey, your new space model came finally.

Yeah.

Only there's a few more pieces than there should be.

All that birthday money wasted.

How am I meant to get to Venus in that?

Contact the company and get them to send you a new one.

Wasting your time, that won't get you anywhere,

now that they've trousered your cash.

Well, what shall I do?

Well, think of it more as a 3-D jigsaw.

Oh.

No internet means having to go old school for homework.

Words printed on dead trees.

Hey, look at this.

Seeing you so fired up trying to save the world

reminded me of your dad when he was younger.

Wow. Dad protesting?

Are those dreadlocks?

What is up with his hair?

He was always so busy fighting for something

he didn't have time to comb it.

It's a shame he lost that fire, really.

-Why did he lose it?

-Oh, got a job,

had some kids...

then he discovered computer games.

So I'm just like Dad, eh?

Fighting for a good cause.

This week has been the longest week in the history of weeks!

It's only been two hours, Lauren.

Whatever! Two hours, that means I'm like 90 photos behind online!

How will everyone know what I've been eating?!

You think that's bad?

I had to walk to the shop earlier to BUY a newspaper

just to get the football results.

Ugh!

And I still can't find them!

Lauren, what are you doing?

I'm trying to get the neighbour's Wi-Fi.

Yes, yes, yes!

"Enter password."

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This is torture.

It's worse than that.

It's like we're living in the...

..'90s.

Right, that's it, I've had enough.

If you want to use the internet, then follow me.

Fran, you've smashed my alien!

I was trying to pet him.

I don't know my own virtual strength.

-Yes!

-Dude, you just took down the Martian overlord!

Yeah, ten eyes - still didn't see me coming.

Whoa, Mum, sweet moves.

I'm just randomly pressing buttons, but it seems to be working.

Ah, we need more power packs.

Craig, Lauren, this is the opposite of staying off the internet.

Tell Millie that the ban is at our house.

She didn't say anything about Dad's.

-Ha!

-This isn't a house thing, it's a family thing.

Tell Millie that this is my family.

Why shut off the internet?

We're trying to save energy and be more sociable.

Oh, yeah, how's that going?

We're not talking to her.

Think of all the internety power you're all using up,

all of those megabits and bobs.

Dad, you're with me, right?

-Eh?

-Yes, you, Mr Big Hair!

What happened to that guy who saved a 200-year-old ash tree by chaining

himself to it?

Ha-ha-ha!

Look at that idiot.

Ha-ha-ha!

That idiot kind of looks like you.

-It is me.

-Dad, Mum says that I remind her of you.

Why, is Dad a super annoying idiot too?

Maybe the old me, but my planet-saving days are over.

I'm sorry, Mills.

Let's have a look at you, then.

Oh, I don't believe it.

Well, mine aren't.

Is your old man wearing guyliner?

-Hey!

-Hey!

-You can't be trusted, so either I'm taking these

or I'll get Mum and Mike to make it two weeks.

-Argh!

-Is she for real?

I've confiscated all devices in case Lauren cheats

and starts googling

"Ten Ways Your Eyebrow Shape Can Predict Your Future."

Yeah, I actually caught her reading that once.

It's OK, I've got a plan.

What are you doing?

Trying to zoom in on her eyebrows to see her future.

Lauren, that's a page.

You remember pages, right?

Yes, thanks to Millie.

They just take ages to update.

Stupid magazine! Urgh!

Well, don't worry, all right?

Cos I have a plan to stop this madness.

-Go on.

-See, Millie is the reason we're all doing this, right?

So what if we were to get Millie to give up first,

then we'd be off the hook.

So, we just need to get her to crack and then this nightmare is over?

Oh, but how?

It won't be easy.

Millie is like super stubborn.

She didn't wear shoes for a week

just because I said her trainers were minging.

Millie's gone green, right?

But we need to go super green.

I'm talking candles for lights and no washing

and turning your underwear inside out

and wear them again kind of green!

Firstly - ew!

And, secondly, it sounds like too much hard work.

And, C,

do showers count as washing?

Mine are more for de-stressing.

OK, good.

Enjoy your webless week.

Fine!

But I can't live like that for long.

I'll get you back online in time to post a picture of your dinner.

Oh, this is hopeless.

I could build a real spaceship quicker than this one.

Maybe I should.

Oh, no, you're not doing that again.

Remember when you tried to build a submarine in the bath tub?

I mean, it worked, it stayed under water for hours.

So did our bathroom.

Was Tony really that much of a rebel?

What?

Oh, yes, but the only thing he fights for now is the duvet.

Did they name the tree after you for saving it?

Trees don't have names.

-Anyway...

-Did they put a plaque on it for you?

-I haven't the foggiest.

-What?

You mean you haven't been to check the scene of your great triumph?

They chopped it down anyway, so I didn't save the tree.

I didn't come close. What an idiot, eh?

I won't be doing that again.

Oh, Houston, we have a problem.

I'm sorry, Jake.

That's it, I'm getting the spaceship I paid for.

-I'm taking action.

-What, you're going to do a Tony,

you're going to stage a protest?

No, but I'm going to send them a really stinky e-mail.

Lauren, how's your first night without the internet?

The whole sleep thing is a bit weird, isn't it?

Actually, I had the best night's sleep I've had in ages,

all thanks to Millie.

You're welcome.

So, I've actually been thinking.

-ALL:

-Uh-huh...

The internet is just the tip of a big green iceberg.

There's so much more that we could be doing.

Yeah, yeah. I think we should start rationing water...

..and electricity...

..and deodorant.

I'm a teenage boy, right, so I use a lot of deodorant,

but that could all change.

We just hope that you'll get behind us, like you did with Millie.

So, what do you two suggest that we do?

Uh-uh.

MILLIE WINDS UP TORCH

Agh! Your plan isn't working, Craig!

I smell because of the shower ban.

I have to talk to my friends face to face, because of the phone ban

and I am now 937 selfies behind because of the internet ban,

so, wire me up because the freak out I'm having

could power Glasgow!

But Millie is good for breaking.

It's been four days.

She's even been reusing teabags.

She's actually good at this.

Just hold out a little longer, OK, Lauren?

Millie is going to crack.

She has to.

I'll tell you what, as a special treat...

..I'll pedal, yeah?

MUSIC STARTS PLAYING

What park was this?

The one with loads of trees.

OK, that really narrows it down.

So, how's the whole web rationing thing going?

Terrible, I'm so bored.

I even dug out some of my old toys.

That's pretty neat?

And I'm doing exercises every hour just to keep warm.

RINGING

And Lauren and Craig are coming up with NEW green ideas every day,

like cycling to the recycling centre.

Honestly, I don't think I can last much longer.

I'm exhausted and I smell because of the shower ban.

I didn't want to say anything, but...

And I have blisters, because I have to wind this up every night.

Millie, Millie!

What?!

At first I wanted to be environmentally conscious,

but now I'd just settle for conscious.

Why don't you just give up?

I can't have Lauren and Craig thinking they're greener than me.

I'm behind you in all this, but I've got to go back to the 21st-century.

Oh, thanks.

There's something I want to check out.

MILLIE YAWNS: Uh-huh...

Yes!

Take that, evil poodle of doom.

OK, I may have a problem.

You're not the only one.

I e-mailed the model company five days ago

-and they're just ignoring me.

-Well, of course they are.

What if I send them a picture of me looking really sad?

If they had a heart, they wouldn't have sent you a broken spaceship.

Sometimes, it's easier just to let these things go.

Is it, though? I mean, think of all the things you've let go

over the years, instead of trying to change.

There was the closure of the cycle path, that now means you've got

to take the long way home.

Oh, and the drill that you loaned Mark, you really need,

but you won't ask for it back.

I don't really need that.

A-ha!

A-ha.

AMBER LAUGHS

The jacket you won't return that's two sizes too small

and makes you look like the Incredible Hulk.

I'm not saying it isn't annoying,

I'm just saying Jake won't win

and it's better to leave things as they are.

Grab your coats. There's something you should see.

Oh, Millie!

Here's the recycling.

You should be able to strap it to your back and still pedal.

THUD!

Sure, happy to.

-Well?

-That's it, I'm coming clean, she is nowhere close to cracking!

PHONE RINGS

LAUREN GASPS

I forgot we had a landline, I could have called for help!

Hiya!

Oh, hi, Cara.

Yeah, I'm sorry, you can't text, chat, tweet, Skype or poke Millie

at the moment.

But, yes, I can take a message.

Yes!!

I can definitely pass that on.

Bye-bye.

Craig?

Why are you smiling?

We have got nothing to smile about.

I know how to break Millie

and if this doesn't work, nothing will.

MILLIE: I've got a puncture.

Oh, hi, there, Millie.

Just had Cara on the phone.

Wanted to let you know about the Four Boys video

dropping online tonight.

Oh, Millie, I'm so sorry.

They're your favourite band and you've not missed a video drop yet.

Oh! Guess this will have to be the first.

Or you could just give in and watch it. No-one will blame you.

Course not. That would be cheating.

Four Boys, great band.

Oh, no, I'm the biggest Four Boys fan there is!

I can't miss a video drop.

Can I?

Just up here.

I haven't been here since they cut Angus down.

-Who's Angus?

-Angus the ash.

I thought trees didn't have names.

Look at this.

I'm pretty sure Tony's seen trees before, Fran.

Not THESE trees.

The tree that you tried to save was cut down,

but a trustee of the park who saw your protest demanded

that it be replaced by a row of ash trees.

Wow!

I did not know that.

Come on, hurry up.

What's the rush?

If Tony's protest worked,

that means I can send one last e-mail to the model company.

I told you, why bother?

Let's do something that really gets their attention.

-Like what?

-Right, grab two saucepans,

a wooden spoon and lots and lots of silver foil.

What, are we making a protest cake?

Love the concept, but, no. I'll show you.

-I'll get the first aid kit.

-I'll grab the fire extinguisher.

Well, they went over to Dad's to play Angry Aliens.

One little music video won't hurt.

Will it?

MUSIC STARTS

Oh, yeah,

yeah, yeah.

-Busted!

-We knew you couldn't resist a Four Boys video!

You set me up.

Oh, we just told you when the music video was dropping.

What is going on?

Oh, we're not rationing sleep now, as well, are we?

Millie is a total hypocrite!

She's plugged the router back in!

We're all living like Victorians, while she watches music videos!

Millie, is this true?

They set me up!

I was dark green, until they dangled my favourite band in front of me.

Believe me, we thought of everything before we came up with that.

-Craig!

-You two weren't being green?

You put us through all this just to break Millie.

Yeah, Lauren.

And you, watching videos when you're the one that banned the internet.

Oh, I am really disappointed in all of you. Come on, Mike.

-Mike!

-I was just checking the football...

results.

HE SIGHS

Mum, Mike.

I'm really sorry that I caved in to watch a music video of a band

that I like.

Hello, Craig.

Been filling bathing buckets?

Nah, been over on my mate's Wi-Fi.

-Craig.

-I had some stuff to check out.

Millie's right, the internet uses up lots of power

and loads of mindless trivia, or, as I call it, the good stuff.

But it saves a lot of power, too.

I mean, think if you had to hand deliver all those selfies.

And look what I've found.

The phone that Millie made such a big deal of turning off.

I checked. It's broken.

I just wanted to win a prize.

Well, at least we can all go back to normal.

Hang on, Millie. You did really get behind saving energy.

And you did get us all talking to each other more.

Craig and Lauren talked a lot more.

Can we turn the Wi-Fi back on, please?

It is already back on.

The week ended an hour ago.

-Yes!

-Where are you going?

I have 1,537 selfies to post!

I'm so alive!

MUSIC: 2001: A Space Odyssey Theme

Commander Jake, let's return to Earth and show them our discovery -

a limitless power source.

But we can't, because they sent us a broken spaceship.

Argh!

It's small, cos it's far away.

And it's bust, so do the right thing.

Send us another spaceship.

-BOTH:

-Bring us home.

Bring us home.

Bring us home!

Classic, eh? Want to see it again?

No, I think ten times is enough, thank you.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-I'll get it.

Jake and I might win awards for this.

What, for best funny shaming video?

Ho-ho-ho-ho!

-It worked!

-Oh!

-Hey!

They finally listened and sent me a new one.

Ah, what did I say?

Always fight for what you believe in.

Never give up.

-Well, after Fran showed me that could actually work.

-Mm-hm.

It was Millie as well. She showed us the newspaper story

and I found the trees.

-HE GASPS

-And it says Commander Jake on it!

-That's brilliant, Jake!

-Hey, Dad, you said you had something important

to show me.

Aye. Check that out.

A picture of you with some random trees.

They're not random trees.

Those trees exist because of my protest.

I wish my plan to save the planet worked out like that.

Hey, you planted some seeds.

Now, that's the point.

Thanks, Dad.

But I broke my own rules, so I could watch a band that I like

walk really slowly down a beach with some wolves.

And I only did it in the first place cos I wanted to win a prize.

I'll let you in on a secret.

I was trying to impress a girl.

-No?

-You don't have to be a saint to get involved.

I guess those trees didn't mind.

And you showed me that I was wrong.

Hmm, true.

Hmm, Mum was right.

You do get it from me.

Check out the dreads.

I didn't win the goat.

Turns out, you don't get it, anyway. They donate it to a farm.

The winner was someone who grew a wild flower meadow on their roof.

Now, that is just showing off.

But even though this week has been a nightmare, like Dad said,

maybe I planted some seeds.

Lauren likes walking to school at least once a week.

But that could be because of the fit boy who also walks her route.

And Craig? Well, Craig is sticking to only washing

when he thinks he needs to.

So, no change there, then.

And Dad's now obsessed with his trees,

so we are de-littering them once a month,

but only if he stops hugging them.

I reckon that buys me a good hour of enjoying Four Boys videos.