Room For a Lion Millie Inbetween

Now Craig's off at college, we can tackle the elephant in the room.

Literally. Who gets which room?

OK. So, I know Craig's room is sunnier and nicer, but you choose.

I mean, you're going to be here for longer than me.

Wow! Lauren, normally we would have fought over this.

We must be growing up.

OK, I choose Craig's room,

-my old one!

-That's good...

because I packed your stuff.

Thanks!

Out you go!

Yes!

Ah, one of Craig's old posters.

Aww...

Oh, well. Life goes on.

Now, to get rid of the boy smell.

Millie? Sorry, Mike and I just need a quick chat with you both.

Sure, I'll just unpack this first.

Maybe don't bother just yet.

Uh-oh. What is it now?

I've got some really exciting news...

My nephew Leo, well, I say nephew,

he's my first cousin once removed,

has been accepted to Struan Hill FC Football Academy

right here in Glasgow! It's his dream come true!

Great. Well, if that's everything...

Oh, not quite. No, Mike and I thought it would be nice

if we could offer him a room.

Here?!

My room? How long for?

Well, his course lasts six months, but honestly, he's super!

He's a little bit shy, but he's great once you get to know him,

just like Craig!

Ugh! This is not OK!

I am a teenager and I have a dream!

A space of my own! And space around that space!

And at the end of it, a door that closes!

I know you're disappointed, love,

but, well, Leo, he's family.

He's not OUR family.

MILLIE GASPS

I mean...

he's family to Mike.

But first cousin once removed?

What even is that?

Yeah, I had to look it up myself.

It's my auntie's daughter's son.

I don't actually want to know.

-That's right.

-Thank you!

All we have to know is that he needs a home and we should be here

to help because that is who we are.

We are a family.

-Family.

-Family.

-And it's only for half a year

and besides, he'll hardly even be here,

he'll be out practising his dribbling.

Whatever.

Well, I guess it's OK with me.

Thanks, I knew I could rely on you guys! You're diamonds!

That was going to be my earring drawer.

So we have to share for a bit longer!

It's not the end of the world!

-Isn't it?

-Thanks.

I'm a bit surprised how easily you gave up back there.

Oh, don't worry. This is not over yet.

What do you mean? You agreed!

To their faces, yeah.

What else am I going to do when Mum's in full guilt trip mode?

Uh, I want to crush Leo's dreams because I'm an awful person?

But you do, don't you?

What can you do, though?

Give him such a hard time that he'd rather be anywhere than here.

They can't object if he decides to leave by himself, can they?

I'm not exactly chuffed either.

Having my new room ripped away.

Poor Leo. I wouldn't like to get between Lauren

and her earring drawer.

Shouldn't it be a bit untidy, so it's not so much of a shock later?

I don't want Leo thinking we're a bunch of slobs!

He'll find out sooner or later.

So, this is it.

Leo's due any minute.

I hope Lauren, the dream crusher, isn't too hard on him.

Mike's on cloud nine.

Do you think here or there?

He's a teenage boy, Sharon.

He's not going to notice flowers, he can't eat them!

Mike! What are you doing?

Boys don't like things too tidy, it scares them!

It's going to be great having a son - I mean boy -

-around the house again.

-DOORBELL RINGS

Oh, I'll get it.

Is he not going a bit far?

Leo's not Craig II, you know.

Mike's just excited, that all.

He'll be fine. He'll play it cool.

Here he is, here he is!

Leo the lion!

Last time I saw him, he was knee-high to a grasshopper!

Thanks so much for taking me in, Mrs Taylor.

Aww! Oh, that's so sweet!

Oh, you're very welcome, and please, call me Sharon.

Those put mine to shame, though.

Cup of tea?

Hiya, I'm Leo.

Oh, hi, yeah...

Me, Lauren.

And me, Millie.

-Nice to meet you.

-Back at ya.

Right girls, I'm going to show Leo his room.

Thank you.

Follow me, it's this way.

So, what do you think of Glasgow?

Oh, it's great, you know. Because sun's way overrated!

I'm a big, big rain fan.

It doesn't always rain here. Only since you arrived.

This is your room.

Sorry about the smell. It's from the last boy that was in here.

-We can't get rid of it.

-Yeah, we have special scents.

It's how we communicate.

For instance, I can smell that he was into House.

-What? How?

-Lauren!

There's a poster.

Not really my thing, though.

Oh, please.

Folk music? Seriously?

That's what pop music needs.

A good mandolin solo.

You don't play anything, do you?

Just my trumpet. It's in the bag.

Only messing. I stick to football. It's what I'm good at.

Well, at least you've got one thing going for you.

That, and I'm scarily good looking.

-Or just scary.

-Should fit right in here, then.

Yeah! I mean, no.

Come on, Millie.

The night gliders are gathering!

We need some more health flasks!

Look out for that gorgon host.

The gate! Lock the time gate.

He's going to need a health flask in a minute

because I'm going to damage him. Jake...

Jake!

At least turn the sound down.

Sorry, guys, BRB.

-What?

-You need to take a break,

you've been playing since you got home.

And you're playing with a bunch of random weirdos.

They're not a bunch of random weirdos, they're my friends.

-Probably the same.

-And it's good for my hand-eye coordination

-and problem-solving.

-The only problem that you're solving

-is how to waste your life.

-What do you know?

-Hey, guys. I'm back.

-Nothing!

Because I can't concentrate with you raving on about gorgons.

You don't realise how much you're playing.

You need to ration your time.

You don't understand gaming.

Oh, don't I? For your information, I once played Sonic the Screwdriver.

OK. Bet you can't play this.

Ah. Well, OK.

Guys, my nan's having a go.

LAUGHTER

They didn't mean that.

-Is that me?

-Yes, going around in little circles.

Oh!

Oh! What's that?

That's a night glider. It's taking you to its nest.

-Don't panic.

-Ohh!

-What happened?

-He dropped you.

-Time to panic.

-Oh, dear.

Look out easy I make it look.

What a towering achievement.

Hey, I could design you a fitness programme.

I was a trainer before. My bums and tums class were legendary.

Thanks, Uncle Mike, but they have a pro for that at the Academy.

Right, yeah, well, if ever you want a break, we could always go bowling.

I might be pretty busy at first.

Whenever.

You'd so get on with Craig, he's such a good lad.

-There was this one time, right...

-Uncle Mike, it's been a long day.

Sure. Yes. Well, er...

If you need anything, just ask.

Thanks.

# It's been so long

# Since I saw your face. # KNOCKING

Football round-up at nine, I'll show you around the remote.

-I'm pretty tired, to be honest.

-I'll record it for you.

# It's been so hard

# Not being so close to you

# I'll be there... #

Miss you, Babe.

# I'll be where the sun's shining out... #

So, what do you think, then?

I think he's kind of a laugh.

I wasn't expecting someone so confident.

I couldn't make it through his banter wall.

Just wait, though, for tomorrow at school.

I'll be on my turf.

Yeah, not like here. In your house.

He can banter all he likes, but one word from me and he'll be toast.

Well, I don't think he's so bad.

For a boy. And he is family.

Our first cousin-in-law, or whatever.

I'm going to give him a few pointers tomorrow.

He'll need them.

-I've got a new goal.

-What is it,

-re-plumbing the house?

-No, it's a football goal.

For Leo. And, look at these.

Two tickets for the Old Firm game.

These are like gold dust.

I'm going to give them to Leo and we can go together.

Oh, that's fine. Maybe just back off a little bit.

Well, teenagers need their space, remember?

And the space around their space.

If there's one thing I'm an expert on, Sharon, it's relating to boys.

-Yeah, I know. But...

-Not that he'd ever say it, but Leo needs me.

It's bound to be a bit awkward starting at a new school.

So, Uncle Mike, does he not have any friends his own age?

Hey? Of course he does.

So, here we are, Leo.

And don't look now, but everyone's looking at you.

Because you're new, of course.

Not because you're fit.

Which you're not. Anyway, good luck.

Mate, who's the footy captain?

The guy with the dark hair.

Right.

-Thanks.

-OK, Leo.

It can be tricky coming in the middle of term.

There's a few things you need to know.

No offence, but I've got this.

If you want to help, just stay out of my way and don't cramp my style.

Whoa...

Well, if that's how he wants it, he's on his own.

All right, mate. My spies tell me you're the football skipper.

Yeah. I'm Matt.

Well, move over, Matt. There's a new striker in town.

-You what?

-Only messing. Leo.

I read you've been taking a bit of a hammering.

But now, your troubles are over.

Oh, yeah? Why's that, then?

-I can play for you.

-Right.

If we need anyone, I'll let you know.

Yeah? Safe?

Where's he come from?

That guy Leo really thinks he's it, huh?

Yeah, you said it. Who is he?

He's our cousin or something.

He's on that Struan Hill Academy course.

I'd watch out if I were you.

He probably wants to be captain.

That right?

Struan Hill, eh?

BELL RINGS

Psst, quick, there he is.

Hi, there.

-How's it going?

-What is he doing?

Siobhan is MPG.

Most popular girl.

He does NOT want to mess with her.

Sorry, do I know you?

Play your cards right and you will do.

Oh, is that right?

As a special deal, I'm going to buy you a coffee.

-This is my first day.

-No kidding.

Bit full of yourself, aren't you?

Come on, guys.

I don't believe it.

Where does he get the nerve to speak to people like that?

It was two years before I dared look at Siobhan.

Oh!

Ooh. Hello.

Hello.

Oh, there's someone there.

Oh, nice to meet you, Overlord.

What's my handle?

Oh, they call me Franma.

Yes, OK.

Yes, darling?

I am aware that I'm going backwards.

Ooh! There's a baddy.

I'll get him. Yes!

Oh, we've all died.

No, I did not reveal our position.

Well, there's no need for that kind of language, young man.

Oh, hi!

Guess you met our new lodger, then.

No kidding, he's staying at yours?

He's quite in your face, isn't he?

Yes. But that's all just a front.

He is such a wimp.

-Is he?

-Guess who his favourite band are.

The Mistys.

Kind of says it all, doesn't it?

"Look at me, aren't I deep?"

Achieved your goal, then?

Shouldn't it go in the garden?

Oh, it will. It's just...

Hey, Leo! What do you think?

Nice one. The grandkids visiting or something?

No. It's just for you to practise.

The Academy has state-of-the-art equipment.

Like, proper goals.

Anyway, I'm sure Sharon doesn't want me taking penalties in the kitchen.

That's not all. Look, I've got two tickets to the Celtic-Rangers game.

Here...

What? For me? These are like gold dust.

I know.

I don't know what to say. Seriously?

Thanks, Uncle Mike.

Can't believe it.

That certainly got his attention.

Uncle Mike sticks it in the back of the net.

I had a word with everybody Leo spoke to at school today.

He's doomed.

That's something to be proud of?

Come on. You saw what he's like.

Soon he's going to be someone else's problem.

I bet you that he's downstairs right now telling Mum and Mike

that he wants out.

-KNOCKING

-Hiya. Whoa... Pink in here.

Oh, hi, Leo.

How was your first day at school?

Great. Matt's arranged me a trial for the team

and I'm meeting that girl for coffee.

-Swishy hair.

-Siobhan?

That's her. So, yeah, I smashed it.

See you.

What exactly did you say to them?

I told Matt that he was in the Academy and would steal his place

-on the team.

-Matt's the goalie,

the team's desperate for a good striker.

But I told Siobhan that he was a mist and into the Wimpys.

I mean, the other way round.

Siobhan loves the Mistys.

She's been to see them, like, nine times.

And emotional guys are her type.

Oh, no. What have I done? How are we ever going to get rid of him now?

Uncle Mike is the absolute best.

-Your stepdad's the biz, you know that?

-Really?

Thanks for letting us know.

We don't want him getting big-headed, though.

-Like his nephew.

-First cousin once removed.

Yeah. He should be.

I can't wait for the big match.

I've decided, I'm going to ask my new buddy Matt to come with me.

-Yeah, hang on a second...

-It's perfect.

There's no way he'll turn me down for the team after that.

-But the idea was...

-Or when he sees my silky skills.

Yeah, yeah. That is perfect.

-Mike...

-No problem.

-More spuds, Leo?

-Yeah.

Build up my strength for the Academy induction tomorrow.

Rude boy! Cast Dragon's breath.

Keep the health flasks coming.

Overlord, I'm storming the dungeon.

Now, not next Tuesday.

-Hello, Grandma.

-Oh, goodness! Back from your dad's already?

Getting good at my game, I see.

Oh, just having a quick go.

You're on elite level.

Oh, am I?

Beginner's luck, I expect.

He's calling home. Shh!

Yeah, Uncle Mike's great.

A bit full-on.

Lauren? Put it like this, well,

if she was on a desert island, she'd pick a fight with her own shadow.

Millie is a quiet one.

I think she's a bit in awe of me.

But don't worry, Mum, they've all made me feel like proper family.

Sad about my baby, though.

Tell Tanya I miss her and I'll be back in six months.

What kind of creep are you?

Pretending on to your poor girlfriend at home that you miss her

while you're here trying to date with someone else.

Oh, wait until Siobhan hears.

She's going to eat you alive.

And maybe, maybe I should tell poor Tanya, too, while I'm at it.

Good luck with that.

Tanya's my cat.

-Your cat?

-We're very close.

We'll catch you later.

I think I styled that one.

Yeah... Sure you did.

Every time I think I've nailed him...

-What do I have to do?

-Look, from what I've seen of him in action,

all you have to do is let Leo be Leo.

He's practically guaranteed to go down in flames.

Let Leo be Leo.

I like it.

It's OK, Grandma. You don't have to be here.

You're a bit distracting.

Oh. Well...

If you're sure. I wonder what's on the telly.

I've got to hand it to you. Clever getting Grandma playing.

-Now we can do what we want.

-Yeah, except play my game.

-GRANDMA:

-Oh, I leave you lads alone for one minute.

Get back here! Overlord, grant the Shield of Light.

OK, I take it back.

I can't hear myself think.

First you and now her.

Get up! Incoming!

You have to sort this out. I have a maths test tomorrow.

If I fail, your console is going in the skip.

-You wouldn't.

-No?

Watch me.

No fool like an old fool, eh?

Don't say that.

No, you were right. Leo doesn't need a dad.

I guess I'm just really missing Craig.

Craig still needs you.

And so does Leo.

No, he doesn't. He'll have tons of friends in no time.

Have you seen how confident he is?

I wasn't that confident at his age.

I'm not that confident now.

Back of the net.

I guess I'll just stay in the background,

like reassuring wallpaper.

Are you sure about this?

They're chatting and he's made her laugh. Twice.

This'll work. Trust me.

So, what's your favourite Mistys track?

Wishing For You has to be right up there.

It reminds me of my cat.

Aww!

So, you're looking at the school's new star striker.

You're in the team? That was quick.

Matt was desperate to have me. Practically bit my arm off.

Make that three times.

Just one little go.

And then I must get on.

Overlord. Overlord.

Do you read me?

Cheese toastie to go, please.

-Ah, Leo.

-Hey, man, What's up?

-Did you tell Shiv you're on the team already?

-What? No.

I think she's a bit confused.

I don't do confused.

You know me and Shiv are mates, right?

And I told her what you said -

-she asked you on a date.

-Which I didn't. As if.

In fact, he said you begged him.

-Oh, did he?

-OK, guys, I think you've got the wrong end

of a couple of sticks here.

No, I don't think we have.

-LAUREN:

-Wow! You were right.

It was only a matter of time.

He's going to get shredded.

Who do you think you are, mate?

I was right about you the first time.

-Mr Bighead.

-Hey, guys, come on.

-Chill.

-Where are you going?

Come back here.

I think I can explain.

Lauren and me pranked him.

We sent him a text from you saying he was on the team and one from you

asking for a date.

It was kind of a welcome to our house wind-up.

We really got you, didn't we, Leo?

Yeah. Yeah.

I was totally fooled.

I guess that is pretty funny.

Well, someone's going to have to explain the joke to me.

Someone has to explain every joke to you.

Got to rush. Induction.

-LAUREN:

-Well done.

Why did you bail him out?

What happened to letting Leo be Leo?

If we don't save him from being a massive idiot, who will?

People have been saving him his entire life.

-That's the problem.

-Lauren, it's not like he's a bad guy.

No? What about how he treats Mike?

Like he's a joke.

Only we get to treat him like that.

What am I going to do now?

That's actually a fair point.

I can't let Leo get away with that.

Poor Mike.

Come on!

-What happened? Did you miss the bus?

-School happened and we're back.

It's quarter to four.

-What?

-You do realise how long you've been playing?

You need to ration your time.

Please, I can't help myself!

We have to get rid of that thing.

That's what I've been saying.

No, wait. I'll think of something, yeah?

Please.

Hey, Millie.

Academy was so cool.

Just wondering if you had anything to say to me, seeing as I was

nice enough to put out your hair when you set it on fire.

Oh, yeah. Thanks, but I did ask you not to cramp my style.

I had it under control.

Yeah, right.

If I hadn't of saved you, those kids at school would've torn you apart.

You'd be lucky to make friends with the school hamster.

-You're not the quiet one, are you?

-No kidding.

That's not even what I'm mad at you about.

-There's more?

-You bet there is.

This isn't about us.

What's not OK is how you're treating Mike.

He talked us into having you here

-and he's funny, but not a joke, get it?

-I never said...

He misses his son, Craig.

You know, the guy whose room you're staying in.

-Yeah, but...

-But Mike's been there for you

and you've just hurt his feelings.

What? I'm sorry, but people don't talk to me like this.

Yeah? Well, they do now.

Welcome to our family.

Ah, good.

You're deleting it.

No, I found this software that only lets you play for an hour a day.

I'm calling it the Granny Nanny.

Yeah, but what if I cancel it when you're out?

You can't. Only Fran has the password.

And I'm not telling either of you maniacs.

-Right, that's fine, then.

-I told you my problem-solving skills have

-improved. Want a go?

-Oh, no, I shouldn't.

No need to feel guilty, it's your hour.

Guys, my nan's playing.

CHEERING

So, mind your manners and keep it clean.

Now, saddle up your gorgons.

Er, hey, Uncle Mike, about the football match?

What, do you want me to drive you both to the game?

-It's easier to get the subway.

-Sure.

-But, I was wondering if...

-..you fancied coming with me?

-What about Matt?

I haven't asked him yet. I thought it'd be more fun with you.

You know a lot more about the game.

Yeah, of course.

Sweet.

Oh, that sounds nice.

First cousin once removed outing.

I had my induction today for Struan Hill.

You could help me get into shape,

you know, before I start properly next week.

Absolutely, I mean, there's not a lot of time,

but I'll put together a super tough regime.

Oh, lucky you!

And I'm sorry I took your room.

Oh, thanks, darling.

Sharon, this smells amazing!

-Thanks.

-OK, don't overdo it.

So, maybe Leo isn't so bad after all,

but he's sure good at hiding it.

Here, I hid your toiletries under the stairs.

Yeah, I was kind of wondering.

I've cleared a space in the bathroom.

Small, but it is yours.

Yeah, about the bathroom...

-What about it?

-What do you mean, what?

It's gross! I thought girls were tidy.

I'm making a cleaning rota.

And you don't need all that manky old make-up.

What are you doing?

No-one touches my make-up!

On the one hand, come back, Craig, and all is forgiven.

On the other hand, it's like he's never even left.