The Camera Never Lies Millie Inbetween


The Camera Never Lies

Lauren's confidence takes a knock when she's turned down for a photography course. Millie boosts her confidence but the results are uncomfortable.


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Transcript


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Big day. Lauren's got an interview for a photography course.

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SHUTTER CLICKS She's got her heart set on it.

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No!

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What?

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Soz.

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Put it back, right there!

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Stop stressing - you're going to burst something.

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I need to be the best of the best of the best, Millie.

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I need to be the best, best-ever, best...

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OK! I get it.

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Oi, Lauren, take a picture of what makes your heart beat faster.

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-A cheesecake?

-No, me.

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All right. OK.

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Head up a bit.

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-SHUTTER CLICKS

-Bit more.

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I'm worried about her. She's pretty wound-up about this.

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And where Lauren's concerned...

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-Now dab.

-Oh, sorry, mate.

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No! What did you do that for?

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Things have this habit of NOT going according to plan.

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Well, this is it - the big moment

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that's going to make or break me forever.

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Well, we're so proud you've made it this far, even if...

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it means that we won't see so much of you.

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-She's going to nail it.

-Course she is.

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Why don't you just coast through on charisma? Works for me.

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-Thanks, Leo. I'll keep that in mind.

-DOOR OPENS

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Lauren, will you take a quick shot

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of me for my personal training flyers?

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-Aren't you a teacher?

-It's my summer side-line.

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-It'll only take a sec.

-OK.

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Got it. I'll send that to you later. Got to go or I'll miss my train.

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-Good luck!

-Good luck!

-See you later!

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-Goodbye!

-She's going to do it.

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And she'll turn me into the world's top male model.

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-Boy, are you deluding yourself.

-What?

-I hope Lauren's OK.

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Never seen her quite so nervous.

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She'll be fine. First Craig, now Lauren, aye?

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-Now Lauren what?

-Leaving home, flying the nest,

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going out into the big, wide world.

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Oh, I hadn't really thought about that.

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Yeah, it's exciting isn't it?

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One minute they're taking their first steps,

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-the next they're getting their own flat.

-Oh, Lauren? In her own flat?

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Oh, my little baby girl all grown up.

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How did that happen?

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What if she gets homesick or just sick?

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Who's going to bring her warm milk, you know, rub her back?

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I mean, she is still my little girl.

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Of course she is.

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But they've got to leave home sometime.

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-It's from Mum.

-Why is Mum sending Grandma birthday cards?

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Just a wild guess but maybe it's her birthday?

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Didn't think old people still had birthdays.

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It's written on the calendar for next week.

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-We have to get her a present.

-But what?

-I don't know, something fancy.

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What kind of present would she like?

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What if we get her a pet? What about a peacock?

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-Peacocks are well fancy.

-What's she going to do with a peacock?

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OK, two peacocks.

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-You can stop shrugging.

-Sorry, just like the way it feels.

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Lots of photos of fruit.

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Yes.

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I like the colours of fruit.

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The way that they are so colourful and fruity.

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-Oh, who's this?

-That is Declan, my boyfriend.

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-So...

-You're not bad, technically these are solid,

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they even show promise.

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Thank you, you will not regret this, I promise.

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I'm going to work so hard,

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I'm going to be up by ten every day...

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However, anybody can take pictures of apples or pears or Declan,

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what I'm looking for is the unexpected.

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Unexpected fruit?

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Like kiwi?

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We want students who can see the world differently.

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I can take different photos of fruit,

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-I can go back to the drawing board.

-No more fruit. Please.

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You have a good eye,

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but right now, we are looking for the best of the best of the best.

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I'm sorry, but this time...

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..it's a no.

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Sharon? Do I really look like that?

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-What's wrong with it?

-So I do look like that?

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You're doing that thing you do with your lips but, yeah, that's you.

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But I've got a double chin and wrinkles.

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I can't use this for my flyers.

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I mean, who's going to want a fitness session with Grandad?

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Oh, you're back!

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So, how was it?

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On a scale of one to a million how great did they say you are?

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-Zero.

-Zero being the best?

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No, she hated my photos and I couldn't stop talking about fruit.

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It was like I was applying to be a greengrocer.

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Hard luck. Here, have some grapes.

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-Oh, love.

-Are you certain she said that she hated them?

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Those were her exact words?

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I can read between the lines, Millie.

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I wasn't unexpected enough.

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Someone tell me what's going on - did she get in or not?

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No, Declan, she didn't get in.

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Looks like that plan of being the world's top model is on hold, mate.

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What do they know, eh?

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-You're brilliant, babe.

-No, I'm not.

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I'm just solid.

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OK, so we just write down everything we know about Grandma,

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and that will help us come up with an idea for a present. Go.

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-Erm... She's a grandma.

-Obviously, what else?

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She has hair.

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Oh, actually, wait, that might be a wig.

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-Face it, we don't know what she's into.

-We could just ask her.

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We can't just ask her, it won't be a surprise.

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Kids, who's for tea?

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Oh, Grandma, we were just having a bet

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on what your favourite colour is.

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Oh, whatever colour matches my mood that day.

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We're going to have to find out another way.

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You keep her distracted, I'm going to do some digging.

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Right. How's that going to help?

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It drives me nuts, Lauren's really good

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but she's under confident so she gets wound up and blows it.

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Meanwhile, Leo thinks that he can do anything.

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So I'm making him help me give Lauren a pep talk.

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OK. This'll be tricky. She's really hurting.

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Don't worry, I've got your back.

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-Hey, there are loads of other things you can do.

-Get out.

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OK, you've got two choices.

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You can pull that blanket over your head and stay there forever...

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-Sold.

-..or you can reapply again next year.

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You've got 12 whole months to improve your skills.

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What skills? In case you haven't noticed,

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I am a terrible photographer.

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Lauren, solid does not mean terrible, it means...

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..dense.

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OK, OK, bad choice of words.

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It means strong and thick.

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Any time you want to just jump in here.

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Look, dude, you're taking this way too seriously.

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Life isn't all just a big joke,

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I had everything planned on starting my diploma this year.

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My whole future! And my future children's future.

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OK, but you've got to relax, you know.

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Let it go, let it flow kind of thing.

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Don't care so much.

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And sometimes just saying "I got this" makes it work out.

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-Translation?

-We believe in you.

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-Do you? Really?

-Yes. Really.

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Just please don't be so afraid of messing up that you won't

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take risks, just fool around.

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Yeah. Say, "I'm so awesome,

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"I couldn't take a bad picture if I tried!"

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-Come on, world, bring it!

-Oh, you idiot.

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SHUTTER CLICKS Lauren, what are you doing?

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Fooling around. Thanks for the advice, Millie.

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Wait a minute, you better not post that.

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This won't take long, I've been practising.

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Why've you been practising animal noises?

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Because, if I learn the noises I can learn their language.

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GRUNTS

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What's that?

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It's a bear, duh. Right, see if you can get this one.

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SQUAWKS

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-Anteater?

-No, pelican! Right.

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SQUELCHING

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Giant squid.

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POPPING

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OK, that's all the animal noises. Bye.

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I'm not deleting it.

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Mum, she took a photo of me without permission.

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I was just trying to capture you in an unguarded moment.

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But that's an invasion of privacy.

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Mum, she's turned into a pepper...whatsit.

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Paparazzi. Don't overreact, Millie, it's just a photo.

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Oh, Lauren! Just give me a chance to do my hair.

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No, that's the point, I'm trying to capture things

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in those little unexpected moments in life.

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Well, people at least deserve to know when to expect it.

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-SHUTTER CLICKS

-Argh!

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-Mike!

-What? I just lost a whole jar of kale I pickled myself.

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Lauren, just a thought but maybe you shouldn't only take pictures of us?

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There's a whole world out there.

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You're right. World, get ready for your close-up.

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-What did you get?

-We hit the jackpot.

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I found Grandma's photo album.

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Sweet. It's bound to have some clues.

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These are all just family photos. That doesn't tell us anything.

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Maybe if there was like a photo of an aeroplane,

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we could've got her a parachute jump.

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We are still no closer to knowing what she likes.

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-Gotcha! Cheese!

-Lauren, what are you doing?

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I'm just capturing people being real,

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you don't mind if I hang out here and take a few pics, do you?

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Great, thanks. Just do what you'd normally be doing.

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-I'm not here, I'm invisible.

-Hi, Lauren, what's going on?

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They've arrived, they've arrived! My flyers are here.

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Oh, I thought you weren't very keen on that photo.

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I gave them a little digital touch-up. Nothing much.

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Now, that's more like it.

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A little touch-up? Mike, this looks nothing like you.

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-Yeah, it does.

-You even changed your eye colour. And those muscles.

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Well, I was slightly enhanced my natural physique.

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You look like The Rock. What are you going to do

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when people show up and you look nothing like this?

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The important thing is getting the clients in the first place.

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Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some flyers to go hand out.

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Jake, Fran, would you like a slice of cake?

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-Why, that would be lovely.

-You're spoiling us.

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Guys, this isn't working, this is not how you usually are.

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Of course it is!

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No fingers.

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-No!

-SQUELCH

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SHUTTER CLICKS

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THEY LAUGH

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# Girls on film

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# Girls on film...#

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Oi!

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-# Girls on film...#

-Oh!

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# Girls on film

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# Two minutes later

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# Girls on film...

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# Girls on film

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# Got your picture

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# Girls on film... #

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Why are you taking pictures of me in my sleep?

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It's for my new portfolio.

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Don't worry, you were only dribbling a little bit.

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I'm just going to go get Mum and Mike before they wake up.

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Why the rush? You've got a year till you need to reapply for college.

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Someone might take me this year if I have an edgy enough portfolio!

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You shouldn't be rushing, you need to improve first.

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-You said you believed in me.

-I do!

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I'm going to the bathroom.

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-No!

-Please yourself.

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This is a nightmare. I can't even say anything

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because it was me that encouraged her to keep going.

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Lauren, you've got to get people's permission

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before you take their photos!

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What have I done?

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-Grandma, you know it's your birthday this week...

-You remembered!

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Of course we remembered. As if we wouldn't remember a thing like that.

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Well, we decided to spend the whole day doing your chores for you.

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Oh, but I like doing my chores. I'd be bored without them.

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But of course we're going to get you a very nice present too.

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Oh, that's so sweet. I can hardly wait.

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-Why did you say that?

-I don't know, it just slipped out.

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Now we have to actually buy her something.

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What about a vase?

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-Of flowers?

-No, a vase for hamburgers!

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Of course a vase for flowers!

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I'm not getting her that, it's unacceptably boring.

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We obviously can't agree so we're just going to

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have to each get her something.

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Leo, do you think any of your friends

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want me as their fitness instructor?

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Whoa. Only if they want to be coached by Frankenstein.

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-Anybody home?

-Hey, Olly.

-Hi.

-Hey, what happened to you?

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I thought you were away potholing with the fam this weekend.

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I had a nasty fight with the door.

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Hi, everyone! My new photos are here!

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Get ready to be blown away.

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State of Mike on that one!

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I look like I've been in a storm with my overcoat on.

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Well, you had been working out.

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Honestly, Mike, I don't think I realised quite how vain you are.

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Oh, Lauren! Why would you take that?

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I look like Jaws.

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-Oh, what? You've made me look like a right loser.

-You don't like them?

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You took one of me dancing, of course I don't.

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This, however, this is priceless.

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Dec, I never had you down as a picker.

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That's not me, I don't... I've never picked my nose, ever.

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The camera doesn't lie, mate.

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-Oh, hey, Olly.

-Oh, hey, Millie.

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What are these? Lauren, I look awful.

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Don't blame me, you're the one that told me that I shouldn't give up.

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Yeah, cos you shouldn't, but these are just...

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Don't say it - you obviously all hate them.

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Only cos we all look embarrassing.

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What's this? This is not how you looked in the photo that I took.

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-I just made a few tweaks.

-Because mine obviously wasn't good enough.

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Well, that's it, forget college, forget photography.

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Lauren, wait.

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Hey, what did you get her?

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A little something that goes around your neck.

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Something called a scarf.

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What sort of scarf?

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-A yellow one.

-I got her a scarf too.

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Green. You have to take yours back.

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-Take mine back? You take yours back.

-I don't want to.

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Well, I don't want to.

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Hey, Grandma. You know how Mum and Tony

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never got round to painting the kitchen?

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Wouldn't it be nice if you did it for them?

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I was thinking a nice fresh green, what do you think?

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Oh, no, never liked green.

0:16:100:16:13

-What about yellow?

-Not calm enough.

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Are there any other colours you like?

0:16:160:16:18

Think of flowers - they come in all sorts of colours.

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-You mean as a wallpaper pattern?

-Or a birthday gift?

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I had flowery wallpaper once.

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It kept attracting bees for some reason.

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That's it, scarfs go back.

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No, wait, I can paint flowers on mine.

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Who knows if she likes the colour yellow.

0:16:350:16:37

Maybe we'll have thought of something by her next birthday.

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OK, so you mentioned flowers.

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-So?

-So, she never said that she didn't like them.

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-DOOR HANDLE TURNS

-Lauren?

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Talk to me.

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-Please.

-I just thought if I could be good at one thing, but I'm not.

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-Face it, your daughter's a loser.

-Of course you're not.

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You take great pictures.

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It's just that you showed us ourselves, warts and all.

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-And who wants to see their warts?

-I do.

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Just took a bit getting used to, that's all.

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Mum! You said, "I look like Jaws."

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In a good way.

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I never thought I'd have such clever, artistic daughters,

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honestly you can do whatever you want.

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No, that's Millie.

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Lauren, you do know Millie really looks up to you?

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What is there to look up to?

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I mean, apart from the fashion sense and the cool music taste

0:17:440:17:48

and the great friends but, like, aside from that.

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-Declan.

-Now I know you're lying.

-No, I'm not!

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You take great pictures because you really see people

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and then you show them what they're like.

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Just comes as a bit of a shock sometimes,

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especially to Mike.

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Yeah. That's what the photography teacher said that they wanted.

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Shame I blew my interview babbling about fruit.

0:18:100:18:13

Don't worry, there's always next year.

0:18:130:18:16

Thanks, Mum.

0:18:160:18:18

Can't believe she tried to show me up like that.

0:18:200:18:22

-My own girlfriend.

-You sure know how to pick them.

0:18:220:18:25

Well, aside from the finger up the nose, this isn't a bad shot of you.

0:18:250:18:28

Guess you've got a point. Sort of.

0:18:300:18:33

These are good photos, even the one of me watching Love Beach.

0:18:330:18:36

Don't you see? This is about us, not Lauren. We're all too vain.

0:18:360:18:40

So what are we going to do?

0:18:400:18:41

We're going to get Lauren believing in herself again.

0:18:410:18:44

It's been over 24 hours

0:18:480:18:50

and not a single person has booked a fitness session with me.

0:18:500:18:53

-Ah.

-Go on, say it.

-Fine - I told you so.

0:18:530:18:56

I told you nobody would want you

0:18:560:18:58

if you sent out these freak show flyers.

0:18:580:19:00

What a waste of money, and they upset Lauren to boot.

0:19:000:19:03

Thing is, nobody wants to go to a fitness class with a super hunk.

0:19:030:19:07

So, I'm not a super hunk.

0:19:070:19:09

Well, you're my hunk and I love you.

0:19:090:19:11

If my gym instructor looked like this, I'd be scared.

0:19:110:19:15

Who could live up to it? Who'd want to?

0:19:150:19:17

Yeah, maybe you're right. I'll have to print off another batch

0:19:170:19:21

and I know just the photo to use.

0:19:210:19:23

SNEEZING What's with her?

0:19:300:19:33

-Don't know. She might have a cold.

-Must be some pollen in the air.

0:19:330:19:37

Or hay fever. GROANS

0:19:380:19:40

"A good substitute for chocolate is carob powder and vegetable oil."

0:19:500:19:55

-She's allergic to chocolate?

-You are kidding me.

0:19:550:19:59

This is totally sure-fire.

0:20:060:20:08

I remember she was looking at these in the shop window

0:20:080:20:10

and she liked them so much.

0:20:100:20:12

She already bought herself one.

0:20:140:20:16

This is not happening!

0:20:160:20:18

I give up!

0:20:420:20:44

Yeah, I'm all out of cash.

0:20:440:20:47

We have to admit to Grandma that we don't have anything for her.

0:20:470:20:50

We failed, we're basically the worst grandkids ever.

0:20:500:20:52

-Wow, how are you going to tell her that?

-I'm not, you are.

0:20:520:20:55

Me? This is your fault.

0:20:550:20:58

You're the one who found out it was her birthday.

0:20:580:21:00

-We were better off not knowing.

-How can you say that?

0:21:000:21:03

Easy! Should've just got her a vase.

0:21:030:21:05

You said it was too boring.

0:21:050:21:07

Yeah, that was before I knew she was impossible to buy presents for.

0:21:070:21:10

-OK! Let's just both tell her.

-Fine.

0:21:100:21:13

But bagsie I stand behind you.

0:21:140:21:17

Great, bye!

0:21:180:21:21

We've gone behind Lauren's back to put on a show of her pictures.

0:21:210:21:24

It's called Exposed Unposed.

0:21:240:21:26

I'm hoping it gets her confidence back. But it won't if no-one comes!

0:21:260:21:31

Leo, you got the word out on social media?

0:21:310:21:33

All the major platforms covered as instructed, Chief.

0:21:330:21:36

OK. We've got to convince Lauren that she's good at what she does.

0:21:360:21:39

-Even if she does make us look like a bunch of freaks.

-Oh, what? No!

0:21:390:21:43

OK, now I've got to make a risky phone call.

0:21:460:21:48

We just didn't want you to have nothing to open on your birthday.

0:21:530:21:56

Yeah, that would be the worst birthday ever.

0:21:560:21:58

I'd never get over it if that happened to me.

0:21:580:22:00

We bought you scarves and it turned out that

0:22:000:22:02

you didn't like green or yellow.

0:22:020:22:03

On walls, yes! But clothes and scarves, I like both colours.

0:22:030:22:07

Sorry we let you down.

0:22:080:22:10

Listen, when you get to my age, birthdays are no biggie -

0:22:100:22:13

-I've had so many.

-How many exactly?

0:22:130:22:16

Jake!

0:22:160:22:18

I remember one when I was a little girl,

0:22:180:22:21

my parents took me to Egypt.

0:22:210:22:23

-I never knew you went to Egypt!

-Oh, we went all over the place.

0:22:230:22:27

-My dad studied insects.

-Your dad was an insect man?

0:22:270:22:29

Yes, he discovered a lot of new species.

0:22:290:22:32

The big faced moth, the little faced moth, the moth faced ant.

0:22:320:22:36

We had literally no idea.

0:22:360:22:38

Oh, it was there that I kindled my lifelong love of pottery.

0:22:380:22:42

This is like a gold mine for gift ideas. I can't wait till next year.

0:22:420:22:45

-Who knew?

-Oh, I've done a lot of things you don't know about.

0:22:450:22:48

You only ever needed to ask, you know.

0:22:480:22:51

TEXT MESSAGE Text from Millie.

0:22:520:22:55

Turns out we do have a birthday surprise for you after all.

0:22:550:22:57

But we're going to have to take you out to see it.

0:22:570:22:59

Yeah! What?

0:22:590:23:01

-What do you reckon?

-This is the one, defo.

0:23:060:23:09

I thought you'd be interested in the photo exhibition they've got on.

0:23:110:23:15

Millie, you're trying to rub it in my face...

0:23:150:23:17

Those are my photos.

0:23:220:23:24

Glad you could make it.

0:23:240:23:25

Look how many people came to your show.

0:23:250:23:28

Exposed Unposed.

0:23:280:23:30

And I just heard someone ask for the price list.

0:23:300:23:33

I don't get it, people want to buy my photos?

0:23:330:23:35

-Of you lot?

-Well, duh, you're good.

0:23:350:23:38

-And we're handsome.

-And thanks to your picture,

0:23:380:23:41

I've had loads of interest already.

0:23:410:23:43

People, come on, gather round.

0:23:470:23:48

Now, I'd like to introduce you all to the artist responsible for these

0:23:480:23:52

pictures - my big sister, Lauren.

0:23:520:23:54

CHEERING

0:23:540:23:56

Can't believe people actually like my photos.

0:24:000:24:03

Why wouldn't they? They're great.

0:24:030:24:06

And not a banana to be seen.

0:24:060:24:08

-What are you doing here?

-Millie invited me.

0:24:080:24:12

-She can be quite persuasive.

-Yeah, tell me about it.

0:24:120:24:16

Look, this is all just a work in progress.

0:24:180:24:20

Hey! Lauren, could we buy one of your pictures?

0:24:200:24:23

Of course! Price to be negotiated at a later date.

0:24:230:24:26

Thanks, cos we're well broke.

0:24:260:24:28

You should've brought these pictures to your interview.

0:24:310:24:34

They're new, I took your advice.

0:24:340:24:37

Lauren, we do have a vacancy at the college

0:24:390:24:42

for a photographic technician.

0:24:420:24:44

If you're interested you might be a great fit for it and it would help

0:24:440:24:49

-improve your skills.

-Really?

0:24:490:24:51

Of course. And next year I'm pretty confident you'll be even better.

0:24:510:24:57

-Are you interested?

-Yes! Yes, thank you.

0:24:570:25:01

I'd love to. Thank you.

0:25:010:25:03

-Happy birthday!

-Oh, I love it!

0:25:040:25:08

We look so happy, all of us!

0:25:080:25:10

You didn't have to.

0:25:100:25:12

So tell us more about your dad's moth-faced ant.

0:25:120:25:15

I have an extreme close-up on here.

0:25:150:25:17

BOTH: Argh!

0:25:170:25:19

Oh, while we're here, we should get a family photo.

0:25:210:25:24

-Lauren, is that OK?

-Oh, I don't have my camera.

0:25:240:25:27

Yeah, you do. Come on, everyone!

0:25:270:25:29

-Lauren's got to be in it.

-I'll set a timer.

0:25:290:25:32

SHRIEKS

0:25:360:25:39

Well done, everyone, that photo's ruined.

0:25:390:25:41

Right, Lauren, let's do another one.

0:25:410:25:43

No, if you ask me, that was pretty perfect.

0:25:430:25:46

I couldn't think of a more honest family portrait.

0:25:460:25:49

So everything is going to work out,

0:25:550:25:57

though not exactly as Lauren planned.

0:25:570:26:00

Being offered a job because of her photos is great,

0:26:000:26:02

even though we didn't like them at the start.

0:26:020:26:05

I'm so proud of her, but I'll never let on, she'll be a nightmare.

0:26:050:26:08

Lauren's confidence takes a knock when she's turned down for a photography course. Millie boosts her confidence but the results are uncomfortable. Franma's birthday gift tests Fran and Jake.


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