Episode 4 Ministry Of Curious Stuff


Episode 4

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Transcript


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1:09:501:09:57

PHONE RINGS

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Here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff,

1:10:061:10:09

we seek to answer any question you may ask.

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No question is too ridiculous.

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On call are our highly-curious researchers -

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Lovett, Wannamaker,

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Frazernagle, Teaparty

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and, of course, Captain Length-Width.

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The Ministry is a thinking facility

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that helps us to find you an answer.

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LOUDSPEAKER: 'The working day will commence in ten seconds.'

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'Don't be late.'

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Attention, Mr Reeves is entering the building.

1:10:451:10:49

Welcome to the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

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Morning, everybody!

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-Morning, Mr Reeves.

-Good morning, Mr Reeves.

-Good morning, Mr Reeves.

1:10:561:11:01

Captain Length-Width, looking rather pensive there.

1:11:011:11:05

Yes, yes, I'm awaiting a phone call.

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What I've done is, I've invented this new type of toilet for Dragons' Den

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and Bannatyne and the gang are over there now

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trying it out. I'm waiting for a phone call from them to see

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if they're going to invest in it.

1:11:171:11:19

-A new type of toilet?

-Yes!

1:11:191:11:21

BOTH: Fingers crossed!

1:11:211:11:23

-Have you got any other inventions?

-Yes, of course, yes, yes.

1:11:231:11:26

That's just the tip of the iceberg.

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I've invented this new mac here. Try it on.

1:11:281:11:31

-It's a raincoat?

-Yes.

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And I've taken into account global warming, when there'll be less rain,

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and so you need less plastic for your mac. Real money-saver.

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-Have you got a hat for it?

-Of course. I'm not an idiot.

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Here we go.

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ECHOING THUD

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What was that? Did you hear that?

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Yes, I'd forgotten I'd wired this up.

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-What, that?

-Mmm.

-What have you wired it up to?

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The toilet.

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-Quick! Hide the evidence!

-Give me that.

1:11:551:11:58

-Sshh!

-Sshh! Sshh!

-Sshh!

1:12:021:12:04

Mr Frazernagle, any calls coming through?

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Loads of calls, Mr Reeves.

1:12:071:12:10

-I've got an absolutely brilliant question on line three.

-Thank you!

1:12:101:12:14

-PHONE RINGS

-Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

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How might I help?

1:12:191:12:21

Hello, my name is Tanitia and I just wanted to ask you

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a quick question - can I avoid bedtime?

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Thank you, Tanitia, thank you. Goodbye.

1:12:271:12:31

Tanitia wants to know, can she avoid bedtime?

1:12:311:12:34

Captain Length-Width, what do you suggest?

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What I do is, I hide my mother in the shed,

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so that I can stay up really late and watch all the programmes

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that I want to, like EastEnders and the Antiques Roadshow.

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-Very good.

-What do you do?

1:12:461:12:47

Well, I simply put a bucket on my mum's head and she calms right down,

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goes really quiet, into a kind of benign torpor.

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Wonderfully peaceful. Then, I go outside and HOWL at the moon!

1:12:541:12:59

Mr Lovett, what have you got?

1:13:001:13:02

Well, Mr Reeves, I think dolphins have figured this one out.

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It's the middle of the night and, believe it or not,

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this bottlenose dolphin is actually asleep.

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Whilst one half of the brain gets some kip, the other half

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is wide awake, keeping an eye out for predators.

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I wonder what he's dreaming about?

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AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: I'm dreaming you'll keep the noise down, mate!

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It's the middle of the night!

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Sorry!

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Some people! I don't know... No manners.

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Mr Reeves, what are you doing?

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Well, funnily enough, I have the same skills as the dolphin.

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I'm doing it right now.

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It means I can have a snooze and I can also

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go down the park and look for conkers.

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That's total codswallop, Mr Reeves! You can't do it.

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ALARM BLARES

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I can, I'm doing it now.

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Are you going to do that for the rest of the day, Mr Reeves?

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-I haven't decided yet.

-Miss Wannamaker?

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Oomph! Blimey! Just what I needed.

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Whoof! A-ha! Miss Wannamaker, you do have abnormally long arms.

1:14:111:14:14

Right, come on! Back to the question in question.

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Tanitia wants to know, "Can I have avoid bedtime?"

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Here's a curious fact, Mr Reeves. I'm not

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altogether sure that you'd WANT to miss bedtime.

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Whatever do you mean, Teaparty?

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Well, after missing just one night's sleep,

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you can be ever so clumsy the next day.

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HE SINGS TO HIMSELF

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Argh!

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And after three nights without sleeping, you can start

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hallucinating - seeing things that aren't there.

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Hey, a gorilla's chasing me. He's after my bananas.

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Length-Width, when was the last time you had a decent night's sleep?

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Eh, last night. I slept like a baby.

1:15:001:15:03

-You mean, you wore a nappy and cried all night?

-THEY CACKLE

1:15:031:15:08

Yes, yes, I did. It's strange, isn't it?

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Mr Reeves!

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CRASHING

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Ooh, here's another curious fact for you.

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In the 1940s, a man called

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Al Herpin baffled the medical profession.

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He was known as "The Man Who Never Slept",

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because, well, he didn't sleep for ten whole years.

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-Ten years?

-Mr Reeves,

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there's something coming through B7, behind you.

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TANNOY: 'Wide-awake gent loading in B7.'

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DRUM ROLL

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And here he is. You must be Al Herpin,

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"The Man Who Never Slept".

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AMERICAN ACCENT: That is correct, sir.

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How does that work, then?

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Well, it's just something I've been bequeathed with.

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I just don't need to get no shut-eye.

1:15:531:15:56

No, sir, I is Al Herpin, "The Man Who Never Slept".

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YAWNS

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"The Man Who Never Slept".

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-Do you even own a bed?

-No, sir, Mr Reeves, sir,

1:16:051:16:09

I do not own a bed. Nor do I own a hammock,

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nor a chaise longue or a mattress, or any other sleeping implement.

1:16:121:16:17

AL'S VOICE FADES, BUT DRONES ON

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..which defies all scientific knowledge of the necessity of sleep.

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< SNORING

1:16:261:16:28

Oh, it appears everybody here

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has boarded the first train to Sleepytown.

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Mwah!!

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Oh, I just had a horrible dream,

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an awful dream that the world's dullest man

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had bored everyone to sleep.

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Argh!

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I don't need to get on that train to Sleepytown.

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I just keep on going and going.

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It wasn't a dream. Al Herpin, get out of there.

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-I'm going. I just keep on going.

-That way, turn that way. Keep going.

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That way. Keep going.

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I just keep on going.

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That's it, keep on going.

1:17:021:17:04

"The Man Who Never Slept".

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-Come on, you people!

-RATTLING

1:17:101:17:12

Wakey, wake-hee!!

1:17:121:17:15

We've got to answer Tanitia's question. Come on!

1:17:161:17:19

"Can I avoid bedtime?"

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Yes, Mr Reeves, you can avoid bedtime if, like Al Herpin,

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you never sleep, but for everyone else,

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bedtime is a good idea. It recharges our batteries

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and helps us stay healthy.

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So there we are, we have our answer.

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We at the Ministry wholeheartedly say,

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don't avoid bedtime, because you really do need your sleep.

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Can you get that information

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off to Tanitia, please, Miss Teaparty.

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-Right away, Mr Reeves.

-Thank you.

1:17:451:17:48

TANNOY: 'Attention, attention!

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'Flying postal services entering the Ministry.

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'Please have your post prepared for the postal personnel, upon arriving.

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'Postalperson descending.

1:18:011:18:03

'Postalperson descending.

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'Please stand back. Postal service reaching its destination

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'in three...two...one.'

1:18:101:18:12

MUSIC: Rule Britannia

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'Postal services departing. Stand clear.

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'Post will be delivered in approximately

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'two minutes and 32 seconds.

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'Thank you for using flying postal services.'

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Take flight, noble woman of the postal firmament.

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Right, Frazernagle, come on! Let's have another question.

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-Yep, line one, I'll put them through now.

-Oh, good.

1:18:451:18:49

PHONE RINGS

1:18:491:18:50

Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

1:18:501:18:54

How may I be of assistance to you?

1:18:541:18:56

Hi, my name is Jack and my question is,

1:18:561:19:00

what's the smartest animal?

1:19:001:19:01

Well, a very good question. I thank you for your interest.

1:19:011:19:04

Goodbye.

1:19:041:19:06

What is the world's smartest animal? Very good question.

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Any ideas, Length-Width?

1:19:111:19:12

Erm, well, yes. I think the world's smartest animal is the penguin.

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-Penguin.

-Yes.

-Why's that?

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They dress very smartly. They look like waiters, but they're not clever.

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-Why?

-They live in the Antarctic. Nothing clever could ever live there.

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Lovett, any ideas?

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Here's a curious fact, Mr Reeves.

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Did you know the jumping spider - very clever spider, indeed -

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can lure other spiders from their webs and then eat them.

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It tricks them then. How does it do that?

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Well, they plucks a rhythm on the corner of another spider's web,

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mimicking a trapped bug or insect.

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When the other spider comes out to see what it's caught,

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the jumping spider pounces!

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So, it plucks a rhythm to attract its food?

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No big deal there, that's what he does to catch his dinner. Isn't it?

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Yes, it's true. Just watch me

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catch this pot of stew

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by playing a little tune on my double bass.

1:20:031:20:06

-Go for it, Captain.

-Thank you, here we go, jazz lovers!

1:20:061:20:11

PLAYS TUNE

1:20:111:20:14

It's not moving.

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Pot don't dig your swing, man.

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It's a Lancashire hotpot. It should like this.

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-Come on, baby... Come to daddy.

-Lay some hot potatoes on that pot.

1:20:251:20:31

Well, I'm embarrassed.

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That Lancashire hotpot wouldn't know good jazz

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if it bit it on the bum.

1:20:371:20:38

Exactly. Now, come on, let's get back to the question.

1:20:381:20:42

What is the world's smartest animal.

1:20:421:20:44

Well, Mr Reeves,

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there's the amazing story of the grey parrot.

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A what? A grey parrot.

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What's so amazing about a grey parrot?

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Not only can it copy words, it can also learn their meanings.

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A grey parrot from Japan was lost by his owner,

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wounded and sent to a veterinary hospital.

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How is he, doctor?

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I think he's going to make it. Poor little fella.

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We don't even know his name or where he comes from.

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Good afternoon, I'm Mr Yusoke Nakamura.

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I live at 314...

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The bird amazingly gave his full address,

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right down to the last detail.

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..and you can also get me on my e-mail,

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which is [email protected].

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The address he gave was correct and he was returned home.

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How do you always find your way back?! Why can't I get rid of you?!

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You're the most annoying parrot in the world!

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You're the most annoying parrot in the world.

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-Stop it!

-Stop it.

-Don't do that.

-Don't do that.

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-Stop copying me.

-Stop copying me.

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-I am warning you!

-I am warning you.

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Ooh, what an annoying parrot!

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Oh, come on, Mr Reeves - that was an amazing story!

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It's not clever. Anyone can repeat something they've been told.

1:22:061:22:10

Hmm, and can you prove it, Mr Reeves?

1:22:101:22:13

Actually, yes, I think I can.

1:22:131:22:15

-Captain Length-Width.

-Yes?

1:22:151:22:16

-Be a dear, would you?

-Yes.

1:22:161:22:18

-Now, repeat what I say. You can do that, can't you?

-Yes.

1:22:181:22:22

Peter picked a peck of pickled pepper.

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Peter picked a peck of pickled pepper.

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Peter pepepe...

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Peter picked a peck of pickled pepper.

1:22:311:22:34

-Peter pepapa...

-Petapepi...

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-Peter pepapipa...

-Peter petapotato...

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THEY RAMBLE

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Oh, forget it, forget it.

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-Just forget about it.

-Thank you, Peter!

1:22:441:22:49

-Uh, Mr Reeves, here's a curious little fact for you.

-Yes?

1:22:491:22:52

-The giant octopus is a very clever animal.

-Mmm? How so?

1:22:521:22:56

Well, confused staff at the New Zealand Aquarium couldn't

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quite understand why all the crayfish were disappearing

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from one of the tanks.

1:23:031:23:04

Perhaps they'd all gone to the crustacean disco in Margate!

1:23:051:23:09

-BOTH:

-Ha ha ha ha!

1:23:091:23:12

Not quite, actually, Mr Reeves.

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Turns out the octopus was climbing out of his tank,

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climbing into the crayfish tank,

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eating a few crayfish for dinner, then climbing back

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into his own tank, shutting the lid behind him like he'd never left!

1:23:231:23:27

Ho ho ho! Very sneaky, and very clever.

1:23:271:23:31

They can also open jam jars, Mr Reeves.

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And they can fit into tiny spaces.

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So, in theory, they could unscrew a jam jar and then squeeze into it.

1:23:381:23:42

Well, now, that is amazing.

1:23:421:23:45

That's not amazing. I can do that.

1:23:451:23:47

-You can open the lid of a jam jar?

-Yeah, I can get open a jam jar.

1:23:471:23:50

-You can't.

-Yes, I can.

-You can't.

-Yes, I can.

1:23:501:23:53

-No, you can't.

-Can. I'm going to show you.

1:23:531:23:55

Go on, then. Prove it.

1:23:551:23:58

OK. English mustard.

1:23:581:23:59

-Give us a spoonful.

-In a minute.

1:23:591:24:02

-Are you opening it, then?

-Yeah, I'm opening it.

1:24:041:24:07

-You can't do it, can you?

-Yes, I can.

-Told you.

-Wait.

1:24:071:24:10

-He can't do it. What are you doing?

-Nothing.

1:24:121:24:15

What's happening there? What's that thing?

1:24:151:24:18

-What's going on?

-Thank you, thank you.

1:24:191:24:21

-Who are you talking to?

-Nothing. Ah!

1:24:211:24:25

Ah, he did it.

1:24:251:24:26

Told you. Easy-peasy, no bother at all.

1:24:261:24:30

Did you have any help?

1:24:301:24:32

-None whatsoever.

-We haven't got time to mess about,

1:24:321:24:34

we need to answer this question.

1:24:341:24:37

What's the smartest animal in the world?

1:24:371:24:39

Mr Reeves, there's something large coming through E11.

1:24:391:24:43

'Clever mammal loading in E11.'

1:24:431:24:46

Hello, my dolphin! Right, have you got something to tell us?

1:24:481:24:51

DOLPHIN SCREECHES

1:24:511:24:53

Really? The dolphin here reckons that dolphins have got

1:24:531:24:56

bigger brains than humans. I don't think so!

1:24:561:24:59

-DOLPHIN SCREECHES

-Yeah?

1:24:591:25:01

Really?

1:25:031:25:06

The dolphin here says that, in the early 1980s,

1:25:061:25:10

a captive dolphin called Billy was taught the trick

1:25:101:25:12

of walking underwater using its tail.

1:25:121:25:14

It then went back out into the wild

1:25:141:25:17

and taught the trick to all its dolphin friends.

1:25:171:25:19

In the wild! Now, that's incredible. Thank you, dolphin, thank you.

1:25:191:25:24

And as a special treat, before you go, I'd like to give you this.

1:25:241:25:28

It's a leg of lamb. Which is what dolphins like, I think, isn't it?

1:25:281:25:32

It's only plastic, but he'll never know the difference.

1:25:321:25:35

DOLPHIN SCREECHES

1:25:351:25:37

Oh, right. He did spot it was plastic.

1:25:371:25:40

-DOLPHIN SCREECHES

-What?

1:25:411:25:44

Cheeky dolphin.

1:25:441:25:46

Never been so ins-ulated in my whole life!

1:25:461:25:48

Right, now then, Mr Lovett, are dolphins the cleverest animal?

1:25:481:25:54

It's true, Mr Reeves.

1:25:541:25:55

Most experts agreed that, after human beings,

1:25:551:25:58

dolphins are the most intelligent animals.

1:25:581:26:00

If it's good enough for the experts, then it's good enough for me.

1:26:001:26:04

-Get that information off straightaway, Miss Henparty.

-Tea.

1:26:041:26:07

Yes, please.

1:26:071:26:09

Yes, Mr Reeves.

1:26:091:26:10

'Flying Postal Services has arrived.

1:26:121:26:15

'Post prepared for postal personnel.

1:26:161:26:18

'Thank you for using Flying Postal Services,

1:26:211:26:24

'your number one aerial courier.'

1:26:241:26:26

Soar away, celestial messenger!

1:26:271:26:31

Right, Mr Frazernagle, we've got time for one more call, please.

1:26:311:26:35

-Yeah, I've got a cracking call on line four.

-Excellent.

1:26:351:26:39

Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

1:26:391:26:43

How may I be of assistance?

1:26:431:26:46

Hi, my name's Maria, and I was wondering,

1:26:461:26:48

what's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:26:481:26:51

And by worst, I mean the worst.

1:26:511:26:53

Thank you, Maria, thank you for the enquiry.

1:26:531:26:56

Thank you, goodbye. Yes, goodbye, yes, goodbye.

1:26:561:26:58

Maria wants to know, where's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:26:581:27:02

What do you think about holidays, Captain Length-Width?

1:27:021:27:05

As you know, I like an LA pool party.

1:27:051:27:08

And that's what I'm having right now, I'm having an LA pool party.

1:27:081:27:12

I've bought myself my own LA pool, cost me 100,000 million,

1:27:121:27:16

whatever it is,

1:27:161:27:17

and I'm just sitting here and I'm having a chat with Chad

1:27:171:27:21

and Brad, and we're discussing prospective movie projects.

1:27:211:27:24

It's a bit small.

1:27:241:27:26

No, no, this is the biggest pool in LA. The biggest one.

1:27:261:27:29

Whatever which kind of way you want to look at it, it's a bathtub.

1:27:291:27:32

No, no, no. No, no, no.

1:27:321:27:34

It's just that you're in England and I'm in LA,

1:27:341:27:37

-so it seems a lot smaller to you, cos you're so far away.

-Mmm.

1:27:371:27:40

Anyway, I'm a giant, as you know. I'm the Big Friendly Giant,

1:27:401:27:44

-the BFG.

-Yeah.

1:27:441:27:45

-BFGF.

-What is that?

1:27:461:27:48

Big Flipping Gullible Fool.

1:27:481:27:50

Think what you like, I'm on holiday.

1:27:501:27:52

Well, he's having a great time over there,

1:27:521:27:55

but what we want to know is, where's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:27:551:27:58

Well, Mr Reeves, here's a fairly curious destination for you.

1:27:581:28:02

-How about a holiday to Spiral Island II?

-Spiral Island II! Tell me more.

1:28:021:28:08

Well, Spiral Island II is a floating island

1:28:081:28:12

made from 100,000 empty plastic bottles.

1:28:121:28:15

It was built by eco builder Richie Sowa.

1:28:151:28:18

He lives on it and only occasionally goes to land

1:28:181:28:22

for fresh food and water.

1:28:221:28:24

Spiral Island I was unfortunately destroyed, so it had to be rebuilt.

1:28:241:28:29

So this bloke, Richie Sowa,

1:28:291:28:31

lives on an island made entirely from empty plastic bottles?

1:28:311:28:35

He must really like them. I'd like to meet this gentleman.

1:28:351:28:38

Richie Sowa coming through X5, Mr Reeves.

1:28:381:28:41

Oh, good.

1:28:411:28:42

'Bottle builder loading in X5.'

1:28:421:28:45

There he is, ladies and gentlemen, Richie Sowa, the bottle guy.

1:28:471:28:51

Here he is.

1:28:511:28:53

Hi, Richie.

1:28:531:28:54

Say, Richie, what's it like,

1:28:541:28:56

living on an island made of plastic bottles?

1:28:561:28:59

Oh, it's swell, man. There's so much storage for liquid.

1:28:591:29:04

-And also, they're my best friends.

-Yeah.

1:29:041:29:07

-Would you like to meet some of them?

-Yeah, yeah. Like, who?

1:29:071:29:11

-This one's Peter.

-Hi, Peter.

1:29:111:29:13

-He has a happy soul.

-Yeah?

1:29:131:29:15

-This one's Janet.

-Hi, Janet.

1:29:151:29:17

She does not behave as well as I'd like,

1:29:171:29:19

but she will soon fall in line.

1:29:191:29:22

-I've brought you a little gift.

-Really?

1:29:221:29:25

-Yeah.

-Oh, Richie, how could you?

1:29:251:29:27

I can't begin to guess what it might be.

1:29:271:29:30

-I hope you like it.

-Oh, Richie, it's beautiful.

1:29:301:29:34

-Thank you so much.

-Rubbish!

1:29:341:29:37

Excuse me?

1:29:371:29:39

I said I was feeling a bit sluggish.

1:29:391:29:41

You said that it was rubbish. I heard you.

1:29:411:29:45

How dare you?!

1:29:461:29:47

How dare you just toss away the most precious gift that I could give!

1:29:471:29:51

You will never join my plastic family. And you will never

1:29:511:29:55

come and visit me on my island,

1:29:551:29:56

which is made entirely of my beautiful bottles!

1:29:561:30:00

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, Richie Sowa!

1:30:021:30:05

Richie Sowa right there.

1:30:051:30:07

And now it's over to the sports desk and Captain L-W, Sunnyside, LA.

1:30:071:30:10

How's the weather out there, Captain?

1:30:101:30:13

That was quite a story, Mr Reeves, but the sport now,

1:30:131:30:15

and the Cincinnati Bengals are having quite a time.

1:30:151:30:18

All right, let's get back to it, ladies and gentlemen.

1:30:181:30:22

We need to find out, where's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:30:221:30:25

-Well, Mr Reeves, might I make a suggestion?

-Yes.

1:30:251:30:28

Why not go to a travel agents'?

1:30:281:30:31

Very good idea. Very, very good. And also, curious!

1:30:311:30:35

Mind yourselves!

1:30:371:30:38

Stations, everyone!

1:30:391:30:42

Hi, welcome to Curious Travel. How can I help you?

1:30:511:30:54

Well, hello, I'm looking for somewhere really dreadful

1:30:541:30:57

to go on holiday.

1:30:571:30:58

You've come to the right place.

1:30:581:31:00

Ours are so awful, you'll wish you never went.

1:31:001:31:02

Brilliant, that's just what I'm looking for!

1:31:021:31:05

-How about Flamingo Island?

-What's that, then?

1:31:051:31:08

-Let's take a look. Just pop this on.

-Oh, yeah?

1:31:081:31:11

OK?

1:31:121:31:14

Well, it's pretty bad.

1:31:181:31:20

This island is a manmade island

1:31:211:31:23

built especially for 1,000 flamingos.

1:31:231:31:27

-How lovely!

-Nice here, isn't it?

1:31:281:31:30

-What a lovely view.

-I'm going to love it here.

1:31:301:31:34

Problem was, it was so nice, it attracted more flamingos

1:31:341:31:37

than it was built for, and over 10,000 of the pink fellows arrived.

1:31:371:31:41

-Oi, budge up!

-You're hogging all the room!

1:31:431:31:45

-I can't move!

-Help, I'm claustrophobic!

1:31:451:31:48

Yeah, it's still not terrible enough.

1:31:531:31:56

I quite like flamingos,

1:31:561:31:58

and I'm looking for somewhere that I can really complain about.

1:31:581:32:01

-OK, well, how about Death Valley in Nevada?

-Ooh!

1:32:011:32:05

If the rattlesnakes, scorpions, black widow spiders

1:32:051:32:08

and mountain lions don't get you, the heat certainly will.

1:32:081:32:12

It comes in at a scorching 134 degrees Fahrenheit,

1:32:121:32:16

enough to melt your crayons.

1:32:161:32:17

Oh, actually, Paul, our work-experience lad, went there

1:32:171:32:20

-last week, didn't you, Paul?

-Yeah.

1:32:201:32:23

-How was it?

-Terrible.

1:32:231:32:25

Thanks, Paul.

1:32:251:32:27

-Agh!

-Or how about these? They're all real names of real places.

1:32:271:32:31

There's Cape Disappointment in Washington.

1:32:311:32:34

Well, that sounds like a bit of a letdown.

1:32:341:32:36

Doesn't it? Or there's Middelfart in Denmark.

1:32:361:32:39

That sounds appealing, because I do like somewhere with a smell.

1:32:391:32:43

Do you like smells? OK, how about Titan?

1:32:431:32:46

-Just want to pop the...?

-Yeah.

1:32:461:32:48

-Give it a...

-OK, yeah.

1:32:481:32:50

This is Titan, one of the moons orbiting the planet Saturn.

1:32:531:32:58

It has rivers made of methane, which is the stuff found in all trumps.

1:32:581:33:04

It also rains methane. Basically, this place is one massive guff.

1:33:041:33:09

Well, that's brilliant, the place must really stink!

1:33:101:33:14

Well, methane on its own doesn't actually smell -

1:33:141:33:17

it has to mix with bacteria.

1:33:171:33:19

That's disappointing, isn't it?

1:33:191:33:21

Well, maybe somewhere that's a bit more cheesy.

1:33:211:33:23

-Oh, why didn't you say, cobber?

-I just did.

1:33:231:33:26

Stinky Cheese Town, the Cote-d'Or in France.

1:33:261:33:30

It's actually been made smelly by the cheese it manufactures.

1:33:301:33:34

The Epoisses de Bourgogne is the smelliest cheese.

1:33:341:33:37

It's so stinky, it's been banned from public transport.

1:33:371:33:40

Fantastic! I feel inspired!

1:33:401:33:41

# The Stinky Town is a place in the south of France

1:33:451:33:49

# Stinky Town smells of rancid old underpants

1:33:521:33:56

-# I'll take you there

-Where?

1:34:001:34:02

# I just told you - Stinky Town

1:34:021:34:04

# Stinky Town, Stinky Town

1:34:061:34:08

# The smell of cheese is always on the air

1:34:101:34:12

# Yeah

1:34:131:34:14

# The smell like a bag of unwashed sportswear

1:34:161:34:20

-# I'll take you there

-Where?

1:34:231:34:25

# Stinky Town, Stinky Town

1:34:251:34:27

-# You'll love it there

-Where?

1:34:271:34:29

# Stinky Town, Stinky Town

1:34:291:34:31

-# Stinky Town

-Yeah

1:34:311:34:33

# Stinky Town, Stinky Town

1:34:331:34:35

-# Stinky Town

-Where?

1:34:351:34:37

# Stinky Town! #

1:34:371:34:39

Well, I think we're all in agreement,

1:34:411:34:43

there are some gruesome places to go on holiday,

1:34:431:34:45

but my recommendation is Stinky Town.

1:34:451:34:48

ALL: Yeah!

1:34:481:34:49

So, please, Miss Teaparty,

1:34:491:34:51

get that information off as quickly as possible!

1:34:511:34:53

-Right away, Mr Reeves.

-Thank you.

1:34:531:34:56

'Attention, Ministry. The working day is over.

1:34:561:35:00

'Reassessing curious stuff.'

1:35:001:35:02

Tanisha asked, can she avoid bedtime? And we found out.

1:35:021:35:06

Dolphins sleep with one eye open, so they're only ever half asleep.

1:35:061:35:11

I have the same skills as the dolphin.

1:35:111:35:14

Go three days without sleeping, you see things that aren't there.

1:35:141:35:17

Gorilla's chasing me. He's after my bananas.

1:35:171:35:19

But in the 1940s,

1:35:191:35:20

Al Herpin baffled doctors by not sleeping for ten years.

1:35:201:35:25

I just don't need to get no shuteye.

1:35:251:35:27

To answer Tanisha's question, we recommend you don't avoid bedtime.

1:35:271:35:31

-Sleep recharges you and keeps you healthy.

-Mr Reeves!

1:35:311:35:34

Next, Jack wanted to know, what's the smartest animal?

1:35:341:35:38

The jumping spider eats others by plucking a rhythm on their webs,

1:35:381:35:42

pretending to be a trapped insect.

1:35:421:35:44

Good afternoon.

1:35:441:35:45

An injured parrot recited its owner's full address to the vets,

1:35:451:35:48

who got him home safely. Brainy!

1:35:481:35:51

No! How do you always find your way back?

1:35:511:35:53

An octopus in New Zealand worked out how to escape from its tank,

1:35:531:35:56

steal crayfish and climb back into its tank,

1:35:561:35:59

shutting the door behind him. Very sneaky, very clever.

1:35:591:36:02

But Jack, we think the smartest animal is the dolphin.

1:36:021:36:05

They've got bigger brains than us.

1:36:051:36:06

DOLPHIN SCREECHES

1:36:061:36:08

He did spot it was plastic.

1:36:081:36:09

Finally, Maria wanted to know,

1:36:091:36:11

what's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:36:111:36:14

We found out about Spiral Island II,

1:36:141:36:16

made entirely of old plastic bottles.

1:36:161:36:18

Everybody just tosses away their plastic bottles

1:36:181:36:21

when they're finished with them, but I keep them.

1:36:211:36:23

Flamingo Island is an island made entirely of, well, flamingos.

1:36:231:36:27

-Oi, budge up!

-Death Valley has scorchingly-hot temperatures,

1:36:271:36:31

-reaching 134 degrees Fahrenheit. How was it?

-Terrible.

1:36:311:36:35

Titan is a moon. It has rivers of methane,

1:36:351:36:37

the stuff found in stinky trumps.

1:36:371:36:39

This place is one massive guff.

1:36:391:36:43

But Maria, we think the worst place to go on holiday is

1:36:431:36:46

Stinky Cheese Town in France. Smelly.

1:36:461:36:49

-Well done, everybody. Goodbye, everybody.

-'End of the day.

1:36:491:36:54

-'Transportation ready for Mr Reeves.'

-Goodbye, Mr Reeves.

1:36:541:36:56

-Goodbye, Mr Reeves.

-Bye, Mr Reeves.

1:36:561:36:59

Stand back, everyone.

1:37:011:37:02

I'm going home for me tea.

1:37:051:37:08

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1:37:241:37:26

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1:37:261:37:29

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