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This is The Console, Pixelface games loading.
# Life's so great in a console space
# Digitally here again
# So much more than a pixelface
# Living in a game
# Living in a game Living in a game
# We're playing with the same old friends
# Everybody knows our name
# We'll be here till the journey ends
# Living in a game
# Living in a game Living in a game. #
What is it with all the dust in this place?
This is The Console. Rex Dynamo session complete.
Rex Dynamo released.
Phew! What a game! Ha ha!
A bit early to be playing, isn't it?
I think the boy was sneaking in a cheeky one before school.
-He was really good, though.
-Bless you. Yeah, I got loads of power ups
and then all the bosses I've been fighting for ages,
they all came back and I beat them all, it was amazing!
-Bless you. Yeah, and then I got 1,000 apples
and they've filled up all my energy and strength.
It's like I can take on anyone, it's brilliant!
Well, goodness... Achoo!
Listen, I know a really good cure for sneezing, right?
-You drop a key down your back.
-Ah, no, that's hiccups.
Drink a glass of water backwards.
-Mmm. Hiccups again.
-Oh, I remember what it was, stay right there.
power ups. All the bosses.
All the apples.
I wonder if...
No, it can't be.
Better go to the QM and find out.
-Has that cured them?
Hello, QM, are you there?
Claireparker, do not be afraid,
you are the first to witness the magic of my invisibility hat.
It's amazing, isn't it? I bet you have no idea where I am at all.
-Are you under the massive hat covered in fruit?
-How did you know?
The giveaway was the massive hat covered in fruit floating in mid-air.
Yeah, makes it rather obvious, doesn't it?
I'll just have to try again. Now, what can I do for you?
It's getting dusty out there and I can't find the vacuum cleaner.
Suffered an accident after I put the Super Boost on it.
But I do have a brand new piece of machinery.
It is a robotic, dirt-seeking vacuum cleaner.
Simply put down these bits of yellow paper
to represent household dust and other things...
-What do you think of that?
Now, listen, QM, I'm worried about Rex.
It might be nothing
but he seems to have got to a pretty impressive stage of his game
and I just wondered if...
Well, let's see.
Rex Dynamo, here we go.
Special powers, speed and strong odour, moulting January to December.
Oh, here we go. Levels completed - 98%.
98%? But that means...
Yes. I'm afraid he's about to complete.
Once his game is over, he'll be put away,
until someone else comes along with a new game.
That's how it is, I suppose.
I'd better go and tell the others.
Yeah, but don't tell Rex. He doesn't need to know.
No, I'll hold a secret meeting in the one place he never goes.
Why did we have to meet in here? It's so undignified.
I agree, six people crammed into a bathroom.
This had better be important, Claireparker.
It is. This is very serious.
Sorry. I leant on the handle, sorry.
Rex is coming to the end of his game.
He'll complete it next time he plays.
That IS serious.
-Sorry, sorry, me again. Sorry, carry on.
That's terrible! Rex can't go!
It IS sad but it's what happens, Aethelwynne.
When the boy comes back from school, he'll want to finish the game.
Look, let's not tell Rex, let's just keep this a secret.
This is so sad!
Sorry. Sorry, it's like it's on a hair trigger or something.
-This is getting my lower cogs all damp.
Look, I'll get you some paper.
Oh, oh, great!
Look, just, just leave it, yeah?
Oh, cor, honestly!
Oh, oh, oh, hello!
Oh, excuse me, this, er, this isn't how it looks.
I'm not, er, I'm not doing anything here.
-Oh, I've not seen you around here before.
I'm Romford, nice to see a lady robot around these parts here.
Yeah, oh, you're playing hard to get, are you?
Looks like you'd better put on the charm, Romford.
Oh! Oh, me cogs!
How did that even happen?
That's some heavy reading, Claireparker.
Yes, I'm trying to find a good leaving present for Rex.
No, I've just seen a picture of a puppy with a hat on!
Oh, this looks good. Hmm.
But I can't see any way of getting it.
What is it?
The Peruvian orchid apple.
The most exquisitely flavoured apple in the known world.
Oh, from Peru? Oh, well, that's easy.
My game's set there at the moment.
Yes, I was there last week to find a vase in the shape of a fat leopard.
Right, well, er, it says here that the apple only grows
at the summit of the Yerupaja mountain.
-Been there yet?
-Mmm, I've seen it, it's a challenging climb.
Well, we'll both go.
Two heads are better than one.
Unless you're born that way.
But we can't wait till I'm played, Rex could be gone by then.
We'll have to sneak into your game.
Romford can fiddle The Console.
-Yeah, sure he can.
We just need to find something to bribe him with.
I wonder what Romford would really like?
Oh. Oh, hello, there.
I'm just on my way to recalibrate my gyroscope. Ha ha!
Battery at half charge.
-Oh, well, I see. Do you fancy going on a date, perhaps?
Blimey, I'll never understand girls.
-Here, Riley, old chum, give us a leg up, will you?
I need to ask your advice.
Cheers. Now, listen, have you ever had a girlfriend?
-Dear, dear Rachel.
-Oh, Rachel, right? When was this?
Oh, I was just a young space marine back then, Romford.
We were inseparable.
-She promised me she'd be with me forever.
-Aw, that's lovely!
In return for a large number of military secrets.
And the pass key to the plasmatron stores.
Yeah, but, do what?
Turns out she was an robot in human form,
trying to destroy the space corps.
Oh, oh, no. What did you do?
What could I do, Romford?
I took her hand in my hand and...
told her it could never be.
-Then I hurled her into a metal crusher.
It's the only way to properly dispose of an evil robot.
What were you going to ask me again?
Er, no, you're all right, chief. I think I'll leave it.
3, 2, 1, smile!
Oh! I'll take another one.
Why are you taking so many pictures, Aethelwynne?
Well, it's to remember you by.
Well, how can you forget me? I'm here all the time.
No, when you leave...
I've a terribly short memory.
Honestly, I can't remember anything.
What's my name? Ha ha!
-I don't know.
-Isn't it Aethelwynne?
Yes! Yes, brilliant! Thank heavens you're here!
I'd better take another picture of you saying it,
so I remember for next time.
Blimey, he's really losing the plot.
-Oh, hi, Rex. I've made you a drink.
That's kind of you. You didn't need to do that.
Sometimes, it's just nice to do nice things for people.
What's the special occasion?
No special occasion.
Aethelwynne, can we take a picture of this unremarkable moment,
so I can remember it forever?
Right, now, he's all set.
Now, if anyone asks, I did not do this, all right?
Yeah, yeah, we won't tell.
You can climb into your game here and when you want to get out,
buzz me on the walkie-talkie. Have you got that with you?
Let's get going, we haven't got long to get that apple.
Er, ahem... Er, what about MY part of the deal?
Well, we've put in a very good word for you with Dusty Binfield.
Ooh, is that her name?
Oh, that is lovely.
Yeah, we've, er, told her how much you like her
and how clever and interesting you are.
And she's agreed to meet you by The Console screen in ten minutes.
Oh, get in! A date! Right, I'll go and smarten myself up.
Do you think she'll show up?
I scattered a whole load of biscuit crumbs by The Console screen.
# The more I see you
# The more I want you
# Somehow this feeling
# Just grows and grows
# With every sigh
# I become more mad about you...
A 10,000-piece jigsaw, Rex, are you sure that's wise?
What are you talking about? I love jigsaws.
Well, you won't have time to finish it before...
Before what? Dinner?
Oh, no, no. It doesn't matter. Nothing, nothing.
Remember that 1,000-piece jigsaw I got for Christmas?
That was brilliant! I hope I get another one this year.
Christmas! You won't be here for Christmas!
What? Why not? Are we going somewhere?
No, you won't, you won't be with US.
Oh, right, cos I've got to go and visit my auntie, you mean?
That's all right, I'll be back by teatime. We can do presents then.
No, you won't be here! You'll be gone!
We've been trying not to tell you.
You're about to complete your game and then you'll be gone...forever.
What?! No! I don't want to leave!
So I said to him, "You can't use a spanner on that, you'll bust a cog!"
-Oh, yeah, I love the way you get my jokes. Ha ha!
Bag half full.
You're an optimist, I like that. I think we can make a great couple.
Oh, I think I'm in love.
How much further?
We've looked everywhere for these silly orchid apples!
Oh, I can't see a thing!
Over there, I think I can see a plant of some sort.
Yeah, I think I've found one.
I'm going to try and grab a couple.
Oh! I bet this mist is playing havoc with my hair!
I've got it, I've got the apple, are you holding on up there?
Of course I am!
Oh, it'll frizz, I just know it will!
1, 2, 3 and 4!
Slide front, together, step-ball change, step-ball change!
And 1, 2, 3 and 4! Slide front.
Together, step-ball change, step-ball change.
And shimmy! And shimmy! And shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy!
And do the robot, do the robot!
Boop boop boopa boop! And 1, 2, 3 and 4!
Slide front. Together. Step-ball change, step-ball change.
And 1, 2, 3 and 4!
Together, step-ball change, step-ball change...
Good work! 1, 2...
All right, Kiki?
Rex, what are you doing in Kiki's clothes?
I thought if I dressed up as a backing dancer
and hid in her game, I wouldn't have to finish mine.
So you've found out, then, have you?
I let it slip.
I don't want to leave. I want to stay here with all of you.
None of us want you to leave, Rex, but it's what happens to us all.
The best we can do is remember the fun times we've had
and give you a proper send-off.
Of course! I shall prepare a traditional Elven leaving feast.
-Oh, no, you're not going to cook, as well?
-Indeed, I am, Rex.
The wonderful Poulet de Lutan, a delightful Elven dish.
Oh, it's heavenly. I'll get right to it.
I tell you what. As a special leaving treat, I'll eat yours.
Thanks, Riley. Listen...
Do you think I could have passed as a backing dancer?
You'd have to stand pretty far back.
What normally happens in your game when you fall off things?
I go back to the start of the... Whoo! ..level.
Then why are we still falling?
I don't know. We've been falling for ages.
I think I might do some more screaming.
-Could you just put this apple in your backpack for safe keeping?
0h, when is this going to stop?
Oh, that's really weird, we've just stopped.
Where are we?
# Do de do de doo
# Got myself a girlfriend Do de do de doo
# Got myself a... # Hang on.
Who's that she's with?
Why is he laughing so much?
What's going on?
I've been betrayed. She's seeing another robot.
Oh, it looks like I've been dumped.
What is this place? It's really odd, I can't see anything.
Maybe I can set off a flare.
Right, now we can know where we are.
OK, we know not to go that way.
-Or that way.
-What is this place?
-What was that?
-I don't know and I don't want to find out.
Look, let's just get hold of Romford and get out of here.
Alexia calling Romford. Come in, Romford. Romford? Are you there?
-How could I go on? My metal heart has broken.
-'Come in, Romford.'
-If music be the food of love, play on.
-'Romford! Come in, Romford.'
I'm afraid it's your destiny, young Dynamo.
But what if I play deliberately badly?
You know, never finish the game, then can I stay here?
Let me tell you about someone who was once in the same position as you.
Just one screen away from completion.
He did what you're thinking of doing. Refused to play well.
-Dropped his weapons, mistimed his jumps.
-And did it work?
Of course not. If games are no fun to play, then what happens?
-They...stop being played?
-Exactly. He was left on the shelf.
-Never even finished his game.
He ended up a sad, lonely old quartermaster.
Doomed to spend the rest of his life never playing again,
trapped in a console.
It's you, isn't it?
Why would I make up such a depressing story about me?
No, this is a quartermaster called Bennis, he lives in Woking.
Terrible man. He reeks.
GROWLING What is it?
Oh, why isn't he answering?
-Is it a tiger?
-A bear? A wolf?
-A growling spider?
A growling spider, with a shark's head?
You're not a growling spider, with a shark's head.
-Ten out of ten for observation.
-Well, what are you doing here?
Same as you, I guess. Fell off the edge of the game.
Once the graphics run out, it's just blackness.
-So what game are you from?
Sword Of The Ancients.
An idiot Elf lowered me down a well to help him get a magic potion.
-And he didn't pull me back up.
-Sounds like Aethelwynne.
-That's the name, pointy ears?
-Bit full of himself?
-Thinks he's the troll's knees.
-Wears girls' clothes.
-I just reckoned he did.
Steady on, that's our friend you're talking about.
-And so he just lowered you down here?
-The rope gave out and I started falling.
-What, just you?
-Then what was that growling?
-That's my stomach.
I've been stuck down here for weeks. Nice to have some company.
-Anyone fancy giving me a foot rub?
-OK, we've got to get out of here.
Romford, Romford! Oh, come in, Romford!
Oh, it's all over.
I saw her canoodling with that robot over there.
That one, the one Aethelwynne's been feeding.
-Romford, that's a pedal bin.
This has been a terrible mistake. There is still hope for our love.
Romford, I don't know how to tell you this,
but you girlfriend's a dirt-sensitive vacuum cleaner.
She's not a robot, like you. She can't talk or think.
What, I've given my heart to a mechanical vacuum cleaner?
Well, they do say, love is blind.
Claireparker and Alexia have led me on.
Hang on, what's happened to them?
I must have turned my radio off in the pangs of misplaced love.
-'Romford, Romford! Can you hear us?'
-Yeah, loud and clear.
Right, so you must be somewhere in a half-game, half-console.
-Oh, just get us out.
-Yeah, I'm starving.
I'm their new friend. They're going to give me a foot rub.
-Yes, we've established that's not going to happen.
I'm not quite sure how this is going to work, but I think
if I just kill the power for a second,
it should reset the game and you'll end up somewhere-ish.
-Yes, sorry I can't be more specific. Right, here goes.
I'll need a back rub after this.
Well, turns out somewhere-ish is just over there. Who knew?
Is this all for me? I really will miss you all.
This is all for you, Rex.
Poulet de Lutan, the most treasured Elvish dish in the world.
Prepared with love and garnished with Elvish parsley.
Elvish Parsley? My mum used to listen to him.
Eat, eat it, my friend, eat it.
Um, are you sure there isn't anyone else who might want the first bite?
-Um, where's everyone else?
-We made it. We're in time to say goodbye to Rex.
You left me down a well.
-Said you'd come and get me out and you never did.
-Gosh, did I?
I normally have a foolproof system for remembering things.
You see, what I do is, I tie a knot in my hankie.
There's a knot in my hankie!
That must mean I have to look to the sole of my left foot.
Oh, it says, "Check your right sleeve."
"Try the other... Try the other sleeve."
Get the dwarf out of the well. Oops! Yes. My bad. My bad. My bad.
-Ooh! Is that Poulet de Lutan?
-Yes, but it's for Rex.
-Good Elven nosh.
-Stop it! Stop - or there'll be no more for Rex.
-Aethelwynne, you know what? It's all right.
We got you a special little something.
-Farewell gift from all of us.
-Wow, you shouldn't have.
Is this a Peruvian Orchid Apple?
He knows his apples, I'll give him that.
We had to climb to the top of the Urapaja Mountain just to get it.
It's very rare. It's very rare.
-We fell into some kind of terrifying limbo.
-We risked our lives for it.
Well, as I say, you shouldn't have, really.
I mean, I have got a box of them under my, bed but, um, thanks?
I'll treasure it forever.
This is The Console. Rex Dynamo, now loading.
Would Rex Dynamo please enter the game. Game starting in 10 seconds.
-It's happening, he's going.
-10. Nine... Eight...
-You were the best friends I ever had.
-I'll miss you, Rex.
-You've been a good friend, mate.
-It won't be the same without you.
-We won't forget you.
-Good luck, old mate.
-Got any ketchup?
-That's it, then.
Somebody say something.
-Riley, how is everyone?
-It's just not the same without him, QM.
I thought I'd better drop this off.
She vacuumed up the remains of Aethelwynne's cooking.
Oh, dear. No-one can survive that.
-How is it out there?
I kept getting bothered by that spherical cockney robot.
I played it dumb and he gave up on me.
-This is The Console. New game loading. New game loading.
New game? Already?
-A new game?
-Can it be?
I hope it's another elf.
Someone of class and breeding, that would be nice.
This is The Console, new character incoming.
Rex Dynamo 2.
-It's Rex, it's a sequel!
-Rex is back!
# Life's going great in a console space
# Digitially here again
#So much more than a Pixelface
# Living in a game, living in a game. #
This is The Console.
Please go to the CBBC website where the Pixelface games
can now be played.
# Living in a game. #