Out of Sight Pixelface

This is The Console. Pixelface games loading.

# Life's so great in a console space

# Digitally here again

# So much more than a pixel face

# Living in a game

# Living in a game Living in a game

# We're playing with the same old friends

# Everybody knows our name

# We'll be here till the journey ends

# Living in a game

# Living in a game Living in a game. #

Ah, what a marvellous day adventuring.

Full energy and full magic.

Now to the Spirit City of woo-hoo-hoo!

# Aethelwynne is brave and good

# He's really rather ace

# He's got tremendous buns and legs

# And a jolly handsome face

# He's brilliant at fighting

# He's a truly wonderful elf

# He's not bad at DIY

# He'll put up a pretty good shelf

# He's brave, brave, brave... #

Gaaargh!

Raargh!

If you want to cross my bridge, you'll have to fight me.

Bridge? There isn't a bridge there, it's just a patch of mud.

Yeah, well, I say bridge - I've applied for planning permission,

but it's going to take about four to six months.

-Then I can build.

-In the meantime, I can just pass?

Don't be stupid! If you want to cross this patch of mud

where there might be a bridge soon, fingers crossed,

you will fight me!

Fight you? Oh, no. Look at you. I'll get dirty. This is all dry clean.

Fight me how you will, elf boy.

Listen, don't say I didn't try to let you off.

OK, here comes

some elf magic, soil creature!

Petroleum! Explodio!

-Is something supposed to have happened?

-Yes,

you're supposed to have exploded.

What's happened to my magic? Petroleum! Explodio!

-Yeah, OK, me magic's gone.

-Looks like we're going to have to do it

-the old-fashioned way. Hur, hur!

-How about a song to lighten the mood?

# Brave, brave, brave, brave... #

-Grrr!

-Aargh!

'This is The Console. Swords Of The Ancients complete. Released.'

Aethelwynne, perfect. We must discuss Claireparker's surprise party.

-I can't believe it's been a year.

-Give me a sec.

Just had a pasting from a mud troll - again!

First, I hope you understand why we haven't asked you

to make the cake for the party?

You clearly explained to me

that a lot of my food is too good for human consumption.

I've been working on a little something for the party myself.

-Oh, yeah? What?

-It's a brand-new breakfast drink.

The party's at six in the evening.

It's a brand-new all-day breakfast drink. I call it "fizzy toast".

I'm going to regret this. What's in it?

It's like your common or garden toast-based drink.

The body of the drink is toast, margarine and lemon curd.

But I've added the fizz with this can of cherry cola.

And as a special treat, I've added a soft-boiled egg. Do you fancy a sip?

No, thanks. I'll leave it.

Aethelwynne, you sure you don't mind us borrowing your cookbook

to bake the cake?

Absolutely. Just remember to use the recipes at the front of the book.

The recipes at the back are for magic cakes

and they're terribly high in fat.

It'll be fun to master a new skill.

Last time I did the cooking, I had a massive row with a food processor.

We haven't spoken since. Not even a Christmas card.

-Well, I think everything is going very well.

-Absolutely. I can't wait!

Can't wait for what?

Um...

I can't wait for nothing.

Why do you ask?

Oh...have you just been fighting those zombies of yours?

No. Why?

Have I got something in my hair?

Ooh, look at me. What a mess.

And I took half an hour to get ready. Oh, well.

I can't help it, I'm programmed that way!

THEY LAUGH INSINCERELY

'This is The Console. Return To Zombie City now loading.

'Would Claireparker please enter the game?'

At least zombies don't care how I look.

They're more interested in brains.

THEY LAUGH INSINCERELY

That was close. We nearly gave the game away.

Aethelwynne, you will be in charge of entertainment for the party.

Well, before I do anything,

I have to see the Quartermaster about something.

Oh, Aethelwynne - you've got a little something...

Oh, do I, really?

Genius(!)

You're welcome.

Oh, hi.

Hello, QM. Good grief!

You look very dapper.

Yes, I've invested in some

voice-activated millinery-change software.

-Come again?

-Automatically changes the hat you're wearing.

For instance, just then, I shouted out, "Top hat!"

And hey, pesto, I'm wearing a top hat.

But say I'd said "Viking helmet..."

-See? Works a charm.

-Well, talking of charms,

I've got a bit of a problem with my magic.

I was in game, I tried to cast a spell and nothing happened.

You were roamin' around...

No, I didn't say Roman, I said "roaming".

-No, don't leave this.

-Look, could we concentrate on MY problem?

Of course.

Let's have a look at your records. Sombrero!

Ah. I see. Your magic licence has run out.

You need to renew it... Mortarboard! ..before you do more spells.

-Can stop all the hat stuff?

-Yeah, sorry. Tricorne! Sorry.

It's such a laugh.

-You were saying I need to renew my magic licence?

-Yes, my boy.

It's so easy. Flat cap!

All you've got to do is perform one single trick

from the Junior Magic Kit for me tomorrow

and we'll grant you your licence.

After all, you can do tricks as well as spells, can't you?

-HIGH-PITCHED:

-Yes.

I can do...tricks.

Ha-ha!

Is this your card?

That card doesn't even exist.

What are you talking about? That's the Nine of Soups.

-No, I get what you mean.

-HE SIGHS

-Look, just take it.

-Is that a picture of Rex?

-Yeah.

-You know, does a bit of glove modelling on the side.

-Oh, right.

Take the kit, choose your trick... Flying handkerchiefs, maybe?

..perform it for me tomorrow, job done.

Licence back, bish-bash-bosh-bish.

No, I don't want a bishop's hat!

OK, come on, Claireparker - think.

You need to find the key to the lift shaft

and something to fight off the zombies.

Holy water?

Perfume?

Ugh. Smells like cat pee. OK...come on, player one, think!

A toy duck.

Well, let's hope these zombies are anatidaephobic.

Which, before you ask, means scared of being looked at by ducks.

Which is pretty creepy. Come on, duck. Let's get out of here.

Brilliant(!) No key and nothing to scare off the zombies with.

Looks like I'm going back to the last safe point, which was ages ago.

Hi, guys!

Can't we talk about this like civilised corpses?

Oh, this is going to be nasty.

Game over, here we come.

BUZZING

What was that?

-What was that?

-Nothing, just a power surge.

Maybe a storm in the human world. Is there anyone in game at the moment?

Yes. No... I'm not sure...

I don't remember.

Um...hello.

Zombies. I'm over here.

Er, Adrian, shouldn't you be attacking me at some point?

ZOMBIES MOAN

No, no, no, yes, I'm sure there's no-one in game.

All five of us are in console.

Good. Cos power surges can have some very strange effects.

What's wrong with me now?

What's going on?

Where am I?

OK, everyone,

she'll be here very soon, so we need to get all the party stuff arranged.

So exciting. She'll be over the moon

to find out we're throwing a party for her.

It'll be class having someone new around.

Rex and I do the banner.

Aethelwynne, entertainment.

Romford and Riley, what's the recipe for the cake?

Now, about that. Cooking is not really our strong point.

-Could be a disaster.

-Just follow the instructions in the cookbook.

-You'll be fine.

-10-4.

Funny...

There must be something wrong with the transporter.

-The doors opened, but no-one came out.

-I don't know.

-CLAIREPARKER:

-The weirdest thing just happened in my game. Guys?

Guys!

What's happened to my locker?

Where's my stuff?

Guys! GUYS!

Can't you see me?

Can't you hear me?

I can feel something...

Like a dark presence in the air.

Oh, yeah. That might be the effect of that apple turnover on my guts.

Sorry.

What is going on? What's going on?

I need to see the Quartermaster quickly.

QM!

Can anyone smell cat pee?

Oh, no. He's not here.

"Do not disturb.

"Recent power surge has had peculiar effect on The Console.

"Please make a note of anything weird that happens.

"Love and hugs, QM."

Anything weird?

Anything weird(?)

Oh, this is awful.

Where is Aethelwynne? Make sure you get the spelling right on the banner.

I know how to spell her name!

It's spelled...

Um...hold on.

The first letter is...

What's that one that looks like a circle with a bite taken out of it?

Everyone? Everyone,

prepare to be amazed!

OK.

HE GRUNTS

-Rex, what are you doing?

-This is how I prepare to be amazed.

Well, stop it! You're putting me off my amazing trick.

-Rex, think of a number.

-Seven!

No, no, think of it in secret.

Oh, right. (Seven.)

No, don't tell...

Think of it, and I have to guess it using my magic.

Oh, right, OK, yes.

-Got one.

-OK. Here we go.

-Is it seven?

-No. I was thinking of an apple.

Rex, an apple isn't a number!

Yes, it is. There are three of them.

There is something funny going on with those doors today.

This is exciting. A new character. Her game sounds scary, though.

"Return To Zombie City."

It's very important that when Chloe Peterson arrives,

she immediately feels welcome.

What? No!

I'm Return To Zombie City! Not this Chloe Peterson.

Why are they talking like I don't exist?

Right. That's me and Romford off to the kitchen.

This is your last chance to not have us do the cooking.

OK.

They are making a terrible mistake.

In fact, everyone has something to do. So, come on! Chop-chop!

DUCK QUACKS

What was that?

Hello, you. At least you still remember me. Don't you?

Stop looking at me like that. We need to work out what's going on.

First, there was that weird flickering when I was in game.

And then I disappeared. Now it's like I've never even been here.

What do you think? Is that possible? Have I stopped existing?

I mean, I'm still here. I can still see me. So what do I do?

QUACKING

You're absolutely right. If I'm the only one who can see me,

then I'm the only one who can help me.

Right, looks like we've got everything we need to bake a cake.

Some flour,

some eggs,

some gravel,

a tin of plum tomatoes and a stick.

This is going without a hitch. Right, look at the book, Sergeant.

Turn to cakes, and let's get baking.

Cakes, cakes, cakes, cakes... Cakes!

Now, where did Aethelwynne say the magic ones were?

They're at the back, so ignore them.

Ooh! That's strange!

Looks like we won't be needing the gravel. Or the plum tomatoes.

Or the stick. Right.

Oh, well. Where's the sugar and the other stuff?

Magic cakes! I wonder if a magic cake could help me?

I need to look at that book.

Oi! Either the kitchen's revolving,

or my gyroscopes have gone off again.

Quickly! Quickly!

Ah! The Revisibiliser Battenburg Cake.

"Make what can't be seen, be seen.

"Simply bake the cake

"and get a magical elf to cast the spell: Echelon Presto!"

I'll have to get Aethelwynne to do that bit.

First, I need them to bake a cake.

Oi! Cor, blimey, the room's spinning again!

It's like that time my lubricant fermented.

Right, here we are...

Oh! That's strange!

Looks like we WILL be needing the gravel after all!

And...a lock of my hair.

My, this is going to be one rank cake!

Here we go! That's the last one.

My scissor fingers are killing me!

Why does this Chloe Peterson character

have to have so many letters in her name?

-Otherwise, it would sound different.

-Good point.

Right, let's put all the letters in the right order

before we stick them on,

otherwise, we're bound to make a mistake.

Are you sure you can spell it?

Yes!

Remind me, what's the curly letter that looks like a snake,

but sounds like a snake?

OK, Donald, or can I call you Don?

The doors are being really weird today.

It's like that day when all the windows suddenly

stopped being transparent.

Do you mean the day that we had curtains put up?

Yes, I do. Yes, yes, I do.

All my stuff, it's gone! Wiped out!

It's like I've been erased from The Console!

Right, that's it, then.

All the letters of her name in the right order.

All we have to do now is stick it on.

Come on, guys! You must remember me!

Let's get this done, before the girl

with too many letters in her name arrives.

I'm so excited to have someone new around!

-I can't wait!

-Yeah!

And we'd better get it done quickly.

I've got a glove modelling job this afternoon.

This banner...

maybe I can use it.

Is there a draft in here?

No.

I have got a travel chess set you can use.

Great, thanks!

-Well, um, come and help me tidy this up.

-OK.

OK, let's see what we've got here.

Magic licence, here we come!

And this is a little trick I like to call "The rat in the hat".

First, I take off a completely normal hat, like so.

Is this going to take long?

Madam, you can't rush MAGIC!

Perfect, Aethelwynne!

Somehow, I need to get him to cast the Echelon Presto! spell

over that magic cake.

Now, for the magical part,

I just reach inside this completely empty -

and totally non-trick - hat, and...

Ooh-hoo!

That's all part of the trick?

It just seems a bit distressing.

Get it off, get it off!

-How did I do?

-Well... I thought it started off badly,

but then it really tailed off towards the end.

This is hopeless!

Without my magic, I'm literally half an elf.

I'm an el!

Aethelwynne's lost his magic? Oh, no!

Without my magic, I'll never be able to pass that test

for the Quartermaster.

And I shall be an el for ever more!

But without Aethelwynne's magic,

he won't be able to cast the Revisibiliser Battenburg spell

over the cake!

This is terrible!

We finished the banner. It took less time than we thought.

You'll be proud of us. We arranged all the letters in order first,

so there wouldn't be a mistake with the spelling.

OK, maybe this will help.

Fantastic! Let's see it.

-Congratulations.

-Thanks very much.

You got it more wrong than I even thought possible!

You've made a ten-foot banner that reads "Help Me".

That's hardly going to get the party started, is it?!

What?! Oh, no!

Nothing!

I could be stuck like this forever!

What was it supposed to say?

It was supposed to say "Welcome, Chloe Peterson".

I don't understand!

We're going to have to do it again now.

We have done the cake.

Great! Maybe the cake is magic enough on its own.

Our very first cake!

Go on, have a little taste.

Oh! What did you put in that?!

It tastes of gravel and tomatoes!

Yes, spot-on! Big, big flavours.

Oh, and there's hair in it!

'This is The Console.

'Swords of the Ancients now loading.

'Would Aethelwynne please enter the Game?

Oh, superb!

I bet I get dirty again!

This is just great(!)

This Chloe Peterson's brilliant surprise welcome party

is turning out to be a disaster.

Unless, by some freak chance, she happens to like

distressing magic, or revolting cakes,

or enormous fabric cries for help.

What are we going to do, Don? Mmm?

And the man from the Council said

that this an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty,

and that I can't build a bridge.

But I changed his mind.

How did you do that?

I sat on him for a month.

Well...

just goes to show what a little... gentle persuasion can do.

Right, you ready for another troll-based clobbering?

Or have you got your magic back?

Clobbering? No! Yes!

Yes, I've got me magic back.

Hey, Presto!

Oh, dear!

Look, a tarty horse!

No?

-Is it a clobbering, then?

-HE LAUGHS

OK, think. Think!

Think!

As far as they're concerned, you've never existed.

You've got a magic cake, but no magic.

Unless Aethelwynne has suddenly got his magic powers back!

Unbelievable!

No, that hasn't happened.

'This is The Console.

'Would Aethelwynne please report to the Quartermaster

'for his magic licence exam?'

Indignities continue!

'This is The Console.

'New character Chloe Peterson

'will be arriving at Console in 15 minutes.

'Prepare for arrival of Chloe Peterson in 15 minutes.'

Did you hear that, everyone? 15 minutes!

15 minutes, let's get everything ready.

Oh, I've a bad feeling about this "Chloe Peterson".

When she gets here, that might be IT for me. What do you think?

Don?

Don?

Oh, no!

Now he's disappeared completely!

I might be next.

Oh, this is not a good sign.

Sign?

Sign!

Chloe Peterson.

C-H-L...

That gives me an idea.

I just hope I've got time.

Come on, you two! Chop-chop!

We need that banner finished.

She'll be arriving any minute now!

-And then I'll be gone.

-Don't worry!

We're doing it. We're doing it.

And there won't be any mistakes this time.

We've laid all the letters out in order,

and we've double-checked them, and we...

the one after "double-checked them" them.

Well, just hurry it up.

Right. Let's just get these letters stuck onto the banner.

OK. Now's my chance. I've got to distract them.

What is going on in here?!

Maybe your stuff is allergic to shelves?

I know my stuff is allergic to tidying up.

That's what I tell Aethelwynne, anyway.

Help me sort that lot out.

Here we go.

'This is The Console. Would Aethelwynne report to

'the Quartermaster's office for his magic licence exam immediately?'

OK, that's that done.

Got to run.

I've really got to run.

Aethelwynne, come on in.

Come on.

Come on.

So, are you ready?

Yes. Yes, I suppose so.

Well, hope it goes well for you, cos if it doesn't,

you won't be getting your magic back for quite some time.

I'm rather afraid of that.

So, tell me, what magic trick are you going to perform for me today?

The Amazing...

Flying...

Hankies.

Ah! Excellent choice! Love it, love it!

Just take two ordinary hankies...

then say the magic words, "Kalu Kaley".

-SAYS QUIETLY:

-This will be a miracle if this works.

And then they...fly.

I've never seen anything like it!

That is amazing!

And... And then, er...

..for the finale...

they...disappear.

Astounding!

Astonishing!

You've passed your test with flying colours.

Consider your magic licence restored.

Right, everyone. Action stations.

Chloe Peterson will be here any moment now.

I did it! I'm magical again!

I'm the greatest magician in the world!

You should have seen me in there!

We're so thrilled for you.

-Now shut up and get the crisps.

-I can do better than that!

I'll magic them here.

Crisps! Appear!

Oh, forget the magic.

Just get the bowl.

Good idea.

-Are we too late? Did we miss her?

-No. You're just in time.

We finished the banner. We've got it right this time!

'This is The Console.

'Prepare for arrival of new character Chloe Peterson.

'Prepare for arrival of Chloe Peterson in 30 seconds.'

Open the banner!

Open the banner!

SHOUTS: Open the banner!

Open the banner.

Oh, yes. Right.

'Arrival in 20 seconds.'

SHE SHRIEKS

What does that say?

-'Arrival in ten seconds.'

-Say it!

-Say it!

-'Nine.

'Eight. Seven...'

Say it!

-'..Six...'

-Say it!

'..Five...'

Say it!

'..Four.

'Three.

-'Two...'

-"Echelon..."

-'..One.'

-"..Presto"?

'This is The Console. The Tracker Zombie City session complete.

'Claireparker released.'

Hello?

Hello?

Where am I now?

Anyone?

-EVERYONE:

-Surprise!

Oh, wow, everyone!

I can't believe you!

A party for me!

To celebrate your one year of being in The Console.

-Oh, so you all know who I am, now?

-Know you? I can spell your name!

Oh!

Well, I suppose there's only one thing left to do.

-What's that?

-Party!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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