Come Fly with Me Pixelface

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# Life's so great In a console space

# Digitally here again

# So much more than a pixel face

# Living in a game

# Living in a game Living in a game

# We're playing with the same old friends

# Everybody knows our name

# We'll be here till the journey ends

# Living in a game

# Living in a game Living in a game. #

Next slide, please, Romford.

Oh, yes, yes. This is me in the Forest Of Lost Souls.

I'd say I look rather dashing shot from the side, he-he.

Now, how many more pictures, Aethelwynne?

I'm running low on battery.

Only a dozen or so.

A dozen? That's hundreds!

No, Rex, a dozen is 12, remember?

One, two,

18, nine,

100,

four, twelvety, minty-seven...

Three?

Oh, this is useless!

I'm much better with stuff I can understand!

What do you mean?

Romford, put up a picture of some fruits.

A-ha.

14 apples, 81 grapes, two plums, five bananas and a mango.

Spot on. That's amazing.

Somehow, fruit just makes sense to me.

How remarkable(!)

Now, back to me.

Oh! Now, this is amazing.

I was right beside this sleeping orc.

I had to be dreadfully careful not to wake him.

I'm surprised the smell didn't give you away.

What is it, by the way?

Yes. Well, I had to wade through the sewer bog of Shankutar.

It is rather pongy.

Aaaah!

That orc looks pretty dangerous. Weren't you scared?

Ha-ha-ha!

Me? In the slightest.

No, I don't, I don't get scared by anything, Rex.

Oh, well, you look pretty scared there...

What? No!

-No, no, no. That's the face I do when I'm being brave.

-Oh!

That's my brave run.

-Aethelwynne!

-Aaaah!

And this is my brave, er...

hugging-a-space-marine move.

Oh!

Did I miss the meeting where we all agreed to trample mud everywhere

and not lift a finger to clean up?

Right, so we all agree.

We are trampling mud around and

never lifting a finger to clean up.

All those in favour.

Mm... Oh...

We should probably clear up though.

Just as long as it gets done.

Absolutely. We'll start right away.

All right then, let's do it.

Can't we see a few more of my screenshots?

I think we are all a bit bored of your screenshots, Aethelwynne.

It's either that or the cleaning.

He-he-he...

This is me killing time in the forest.

This is The Console.

Legend Hunter session complete.

Alexia released.

Oh... I'm so exhausted!

He's unlocked the Egyptian section.

Egypt...

Wow! That must have been amazing.

Nah, it was all right.

I had to scale over a pyramid and paraglide over a sphinx.

And had a high-speed motorbike chase through Cairo. Same old, same old.

Me and Romford, yeah.

We had a brilliant chopper ride over an alien stronghold.

It's very noisy in here?

Er... what?

I said it's very noisy in here!

I can't hear you! What are you saying?

I said it's very noisy in here!

Oh, is it? I hadn't really noticed.

Eh?!

My ears are still ringing, honestly.

What about you, Romford? Can you hear properly yet?

No, no, you're all right. I've already had lunch.

I wish I could fly helicopters in my game. Or go to Egypt.

Aethelwynne!

Aaaah!

Is it brave o'clock already, then?

I was about to start cleaning, honestly.

And the rest of you? You've done nothing!

I thought we agreed we were going to stick to the rota!

Oh, come on, Claireparker.

Look, we've only missed a few days.

Um...

Oh.

Oh, maybe a few more days.

I do everything around here.

Vacuuming, polishing, dusting...

making massive cleaning rotas!

Rex, your bed...

Arg!

What? Sometimes I get peckish at night.

And Riley, the bathroom is disgusting.

I was just cleaning my teeth! Did I get toothpaste on the mirror?

Alexia?

What!

Oh, no, no, no, don't look at me. It's not my fault.

I'm used to having staff.

I'm shattered from my fight with the orc.

And I'm tired from dancing all the time.

Yeah, and I actually haven't got any arms.

ALL TALK AT ONCE

Enough! Enough!

Look, if we all work as a team,

it won't take any time at all.

Claireparker is right. We'll do it properly.

Right, let's get this over with.

Erm... Riley, you're to do the bathroom.

Er... Alexia, it's your time to mop up.

Oh! Er...

Kiki and Rex, you can help me fold up this massive rota.

This is The Console.

Rental game loading.

Oh, the boy must have rented a game.

Oh, I wonder what it can be.

No, I told you, I've already had my lunch.

Game loading in ten seconds.

ALL: Oh!

Ten seconds! That's going to take hours!

Now, lovely graphics. Oh!

ALL: Wow!

Oh, that looks amazing! I'd love to be in a game like that!

ALL: Oh, no, come on! Where's it gone?

I've got a new game.

It's called Let's All Do The Cleaning We Promised To Do!

Ha! Well, that sounds like a really boring...

Oh, I see.

Aethelwynne.

Kiki.

Alexia.

Romford.

Rex.

And Riley.

Everyone ready?

Let's get to work!

Ah-hmm!

This is your captain speaking.

Permission to land.

Route Captain David Glover.

Touching down.

Wow! A real-life pilot!

Oh, ha!

A talking... weasel...

dog panda, ha!

How delightful.

Shouldn't he be in the hold or something, quarantine and so forth.

Oh, my goodness!

You two sophisticated ladies must be first-class passengers!

BOTH: Oh, he-he...

Will you be staying with us long?

Well, my game has been rented for a week.

So I may have to impose on you for a few nights, yes.

Well, actually, we're in the middle of a bit of a tidy up.

Oh, Claireparker.

Captains don't do cleaning.

Now, now. Hang on.

Just because I am a highly-qualified pilot

with a glamorous and exciting lifestyle

doesn't mean that I won't muck in with the rest of you.

No, I'm not too precious to help with cleaning. Eh?, ha ha! Eh?!

There you go.

Oh... Now, that vacuuming action

may strain my undercarriage lowering arm.

You seem this movement here?

Well, I can't risk damaging that. See?

Of course.

Tell you what. I'll do the vacuuming, if you like.

You can pick up the rubbish.

Oh! Splendid idea, Rex!

Only...

Oh, don't want to get your hands dirty?

Spot on, Claireparker.

You see, I need to keep my hands clean

because if I get any dust or grit on them,

they may slip while I'm lowering the undercarriage.

Fine, just take this.

Ah-hmm...

Er... Aethelwynne, old chap.

I'm slightly at a loss as to what to do with this tiny yellow towel.

Should I find a tiny yellow towel rail to hang it on, or...

It's a duster.

For dusting.

Oh... Oh... Ha!

Oh! Oh, I can't risk getting any dust on my epaulettes.

I mean, what if I sneeze during a particularly difficult descent?

Landing is extremely difficult, you know.

Although please don't think I'm trying to avoid my share of the work.

Oh! Just have a seat. We'll do your chores for you.

Really?

Thanks, awfully.

Well, I feel like I should really be doing something.

Erm... Can fix anyone and drink?

Oh, if it's not too much trouble.

Oh!

There's normally a button or something to call the stewardess.

Um... Shall I make the noise myself?

Erm, yeah, why not?

Bing-bong!

Hello, stewardess.

Bing-bong! Stewardess.

I thought you might like a little fruit-based drink.

Oh, I say!

I seem to have wandered into first class! He-he!

How thoughtful. You shouldn't have.

Mm! Bing-bong!

This needs ice.

-Oh! Erm...

-Thanks.

Oh! Captain! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

I thought I'd cook you a special dinner tonight.

Oh, well, don't go to any trouble for me.

I really don't want to be any bother.

Anything would do. Maybe just some...

Duck a l'ancienne.

Duck a l'ancienne.

Good old duck a l'ancienne.

Delicious. Ha-ha-ha!

Oh! How I love duck a l'ancienne.

Ha-ha-ha! OK. He-he!

What exactly is duck a l'ancienne?

Oh, well, it's very simple, really.

Pan-fried duck breast

covered in a thyme crust,

and flambeed in a raspberry juice served on a nest of carrot julienne

drizzled with an aniseed and samphire dressing.

Oh, yes.

I mean, that's exactly what I thought it was. He-he...

So we'll, er...we'll have that!

Ha-ha-ha!

Although I don't want to be any trouble!

No trouble.

Er... Bing-bong!

Although if the thyme and the carrots could be organic.

And the aniseed Turkish.

Perfect! Ha!

This is your dashing pilot Rex Dynamo speaking.

Welcome aboard.

We are cruising at a height of approximately...

three feet,

and we are about to begin our descent into take off. He!

Mmm, this airline food's not bad.

Ah!

Ouch...

Oh, bravo!

Your game must be splendid fun!

It is, but I don't get to travel anywhere, not like you.

Oh, no, no, no. My life isn't that great.

Oh, I bet it is.

I don't like to boast, but I suppose it is

rather adventurous and challenging. Ha-ha.

Varied and dynamic, manly, exciting and brilliant.

Oh! You must see so many places.

Oh, Kiki, I have travelled this globe from one corner to the other.

Tokyo, New York,

Bournemouth.

I've been there, done them and got the T-shirt.

Wow!

Not literally.

I mean, it wouldn't do to...fly a powerful airliner in just a T-shirt.

Oh, of course not.

But it is rather splendid fun, he!

Thousands of feet high. No-one else around, just you and the clouds.

Cruising in the sunshine. The world at your feet.

Oh, I'd love to see something different.

I wonder if maybe I...

I am Officer Rex reporting for duty!

Oh, yes, Rex. Very good!

What a lovely...hat.

-Thank you. Ham and pineapple.

-Ooh.

So, I was thinking that...

I was wondering, do you need any co-pilots?

-Cos I think I'd be pretty good.

-Erm, not right now, Rex.

But I'll keep you in mind.

What I was going to say is...

This is your co-pilot speaking.

If you look to your left, you will see the Taj Mahal,

just in between the Eiffel Tower and Stonehenge.

Yes, Rex, excellent! Now, Captain, what I was trying...

Bing-bong! Officer Rex to air traffic control.

Please fasten my seat belt.

-Rex! I'm trying...

-I'm beginning my descend into the airport.

Stewardesses to manual, jets to warp speed.

Rex!

I'm trying to talk to the real pilot. Not a silly pretend one!

Sorry, Kiki.

Now, Captain,

I was thinking...

Maybe I could go on a flight with you, experience it for myself.

Oh, but you can't! Um... because, er...

Because you can't possibly go in another game.

No-one will know.

I'd love it up there. It's fascinating.

Aviation regulations are very strict, you know.

We could go anywhere. New York, Tokyo, Bournemouth!

-Civilians aren't allowed in the cockpit.

-Please!

Um... I need to go now, and, and do some... pre-flight checks.

Um... Bing-bong, the exits are here.

Here. And here.

Young Rex, what can I do for you?

Er... I was wondering.

I was wondering, er...

Why are you wearing a dress?

What, this old thing?

I've been beta-testing the costume randomiser.

There, that's better.

Now, what can I do for you?

I was wondering if I could take a look at the pilot's game manual?

I want to try and be a proper pilot,

not a silly pretend one.

Well, let's have a look.

Oops! I must have pressed the button by mistake.

Ole!

Oh! Oh, that looks complicated.

That's just the introduction. Then you've got your Basic Avionics.

And your Secondary In-Flight Functions,

followed closely by your Appendix.

And then, the Appendix to the Appendix.

Oh...

-Then, you might want to have a go at this.

-What's that?

-It's a book on how to read.

-Oh, right, oh.

Oh, I really don't like this cape.

Oh, I don't think so.

Oh, that's better. I'm rather fond of this one.

Oh, he.

Oh...

Alexia! Have you finished cleaning the kitchen?

Of course not! I'm far too busy buffing the pilot's epaulettes.

Buffing the pilot's epaulettes?

I don't remember that being on the rota.

Oh, listen, Aethelwynne, I need...

Oh, really, Claireparker, I have no time to clean!

I'm trying to prepare duck a l'ancienne

and I can't find any Turkish aniseed.

-We only have Welsh!

-Oh!

Oh, Riley. Have you...

Sorry, Claireparker. I cannot stop.

I've got to steam the pilot's box of shorts.

Testing. One, two, three.

Bong!

The pilot requires immediate assistance in the lounge.

That's immediate assistance in the lounge.

Blimey! I never knew I could do that.

-Watch it!

-Sorry, Alexia. I think I'm getting the hang of this though.

Oh, it's a plane!

What's happened? What's the emergency?

Now, listen up, guys. This is getting out of control.

Take a look at yourself.

Steaming his epaulettes.

Cooking his pants. Buffing his duck!

Oh, and Rex, take that silly thing off your head.

I can't! It's stuck!

I think the cheese is congealed in my fur.

Oh... What happened to the rota?

I thought we were all going to work as a team.

Sorry, Claireparker.

I suppose we got a little carried away.

Right. Well, let's try and get back to the plan.

Now, Kiki is up first. Where is she?

Kiki?

Kiki!

Where's she gone?

This is The Console. Flightplan game in play.

Oh, look!

-Kiki?

-What's she doing in there?

We're not allowed in anyone else's game!

How long she's been in there?

I'll, I'll get his game setup.

Right, this is a replay of his last game.

Put it on fast forward.

He is. We just watched six hours worth of game play.

Just this for six hours.

Well, oh, let me check. Right.

-Well, that's weird.

-What's weird?

He's never landed the plane.

Well, it is quite complicated.

Maybe for you, Rex. But this is his job.

Never landed. So what happens?

People just get bored and switch the game off.

That's not good. That's bad!

Well, we have to tell Kiki!

She could be trapped in there for ever!

Kiki? Come in, can you hear me?

Claireparker? Claireparker, is that you?

Kiki, you have to get out of there. You are in danger.

Kiki, what are you doing here?

I only sneaked on for one flight.

I'll go back in The Console once we've landed.

He doesn't land the plane!

What are you talking about?

Of course he lands! He's been everywhere.

Tokyo, New York,

Bournemouth.

He said so himself.

I'm afraid I haven't been entirely honest with you, Kiki.

Oh, you haven't been to Bournemouth?

I haven't been anywhere!

I don't know how to land this thing!

It takes on by itself,

we fly around for a bit, then they turn the game off.

I'm a failure.

But...you said how brilliant it was.

Thousands of feet up in the air.

No-one else around. Just you and the clouds, I know!

It's awful!

-Rex, give me that manual.

-What? Er...

None of it makes sense to me.

Nothing makes sense to you, apart from apples, Rex.

-Oh, quickly!

-Oh!

Oh! Oh, oh, oh!

It says here to use the main control stem.

Hold on that, Kiki!

Aaah!

It...It says, er...

put the flaps down!

-I think that's what it says.

-No, no Kiki!

Put your foot down on the pedal.

Press the red button to stabilise the plane!

-Not that button! The other button!

-No, Kiki!

-No!

ALL: No! No! No! You're pressing the wrong one! No, Kiki! No!

One at a time! You're not making any sense!

ALL: No! No!

Ah-hmm!

Permission to take over.

This is your Captain Rex Dynamo speaking.

There's no need to panic.

I am totally in control.

And how are you going to help?

Fetch me two bananas, ten apples, some slices of kiwi fruit,

a punnet of strawberries, a pineapple, two grapes, four pears

and a honeydew melon.

This is no time to get your five-a-day!

Listen, Kiki is stuck up there with a pilot who can't fly.

Yeah! And if the boy takes the game back today, she'll be lost for ever!

Her only hope is me and an improvised fruit cockpit.

I still don't see how this can work.

I got the idea from you!

You said I don't understand anything apart from apples. And you're right.

I'm no good at numbers and dials,

but this way, I know exactly how everything works.

Oh, er...except for that. I don't know what that is.

OK. Er...

Captain Glover.

I want you to listen to me very carefully and do exactly as I say.

Grab the joystick firmly.

Right.

Where is the joystick?

Oh, I'll do it.

Make sure the top four buttons in the top panel have been pressed.

Now, make sure that the pineapple,

I mean...the dial in the top left corner is turned to the right.

Grab hold of the bana...er, joystick,

and ease it gently forward.

Doors to manual, two minutes to landing.

ALL: Yeah! He-he!

Thank you for flying Air Rex.

I trust you had a pleasant flight. Oh...

-Rex, you saved me!

-Oh, ha-ha-ha.

-There cheers for Captain Rex Dynamo. Hip-hip!

-Hurray!

-Hip-hip!

-Hurray!

-Hip-hip!

-Hurray!

-Oh, well done!

-Oh!

Hang on, what's this?

Oh, er...sorry about that.

What exactly are you wearing?

Oh, it's my pilot's jacket.

Actually, it's my pyjama top, but I painted it white.

It might not be dry yet.

Oh.

What are those epaulettes?

Oh, er, I used toilet brushes.

ALL: Oh! Rex!

And whose are these footprints?

Ah, yes.

I didn't have any smart shoes, you see.

So, I covered my trainers in boot polish.

ALL: Oh! Oh, no!

Oh, I'll clean up.

-I'll help you, Rex.

-Yeah, I will too.

-Me too.

No, no, no, no.

I'll do it.

I'll clean this place from top to bottom!

It's the least I can do for lying to you all.

ALL: Mm... he...

Oh! This is nice.

I could get used to this.

Dinner is served!

Duck a l'ancienne.

Although I couldn't find any carrots, thyme, samphire or aniseed,

so I used this!

Ooh...

Arg!

But, you know, I think

as you cooked it for the pilot,

I think the pilot should have it all for himself.

Ehm... Oh, no.

Er... Captain Rex is the real pilot here. He should have it.

No, no. You tuck in.

I insist.

Strong chance of turbulence later?

Mm...

Delicious!

# Life's so great in a console space

# Digitally here again

# So much more than a pixel face

# Living in a game Living in a game... #

This is The Console.

Please go to the CBBC website,

where the Pixelface games can now be played.