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Hello! Lab Rat, let me in!
It's me, Richard. Let me in! Hello! Thank you.
Hi. I'm Richard Hammond.
This is Blast Lab.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Actually, this is my top secret laboratory that no-one must know
the location of.
If any friends of your claim to know the lab's whereabouts,
seriously please inform us by sending a letter
to Blast Lab, 1 Runkin Avenue, The Secret Forest, Kent, CT2... Oh!
I've given that away, haven't I?
I shall be inviting two teams
to conduct scientific experiments.
I'll be rewarding the best team with a host of prizes.
Let's move quickly on and see what's coming up.
Because the work that goes on in this laboratory is so secret,
I have a group of SAS men to protect it.
Unfortunately, they spent their travel allowance on
fairy princess comics again.
The like the free gifts. So they couldn't afford their train tickets.
Instead, I've roped in a deadly killing machine
who has no need for train fares because she gets a free bus pass.
It is my Ninja Nan.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
She may look a little fragile, but she is a fully-trained ninja.
If you'd like to take your place in security, Nan!
Nan! Nan! If you'd like to take your place in security please.
Thank you very much. There she goes. You watch the speed here.
You won't believe it. Look at that. Blink and you'll miss her.
Wink, she'll think you're flirting.
It's further than you'd think over there.
Let's see how she's settled in. Nan? She's settled into security.
Oh, there's a Lab Rat.
She won't like that.
And she didn't.
Let's have a look at who's trying to get into the lab.
There you see. You applaud, that's all well and good.
They say they're the Yellow Team. They could be anybody! Look at them!
Let's make sure. I've got some security checks for you here.
-Identify yourselves by names please. You are?
-My name's Chantelle.
-My name's Yeni.
-My name's Eliana.
Yeni, Eliana, Chantelle.
That checks out. The talent here.
It says your hidden talent is, Yeni, you can do hula-hooping.
I'm guess that's what you've got the hula-hoop for.
Yeah, that's quite clever hula-hooping. Fair enough.
We'll let you in. You're through security.
-We have our Yellow Team. Where are you guys from?
-We're Planet Glue.
-You thought up a name! You don't need it.
You're the Yellow Team.
Welcome to Blast Lab.
Lovely to have you here.
Let's meet your opponents.
You guys claim to be the Red Team.
Before I let you pass Ninja Nan and through security,
we've got to carry out some checks.
-Identify yourselves by names.
-Josh, Dylan and Zak.
Yeah, that checks out. Hidden talent here.
It says you all know the rugby haka.
Do it for us then, please.
THEY PERFORM THE HAKA
This is supposed to scare your enemies. It's scaring me.
OK, I'll let you in. I'll let you in on the grounds of that!
Red Team. Terrifying. Where are you from?
Brighton and we are the Seagulls.
No, you're not the Seagulls. You're the Red Team.
But welcome to Blast Lab.
Both teams had better get ready for the first game.
Get comfortable and settled in. We will play round one.
To help us with that, here's a good friend of mine.
He's got 15 GCSEs, two PhDs and an MOT. It is Oliver.
Oliver loves to spend his time roaming the world to collect fact
for his fact nav system. And I've built it so it doesn't always work.
Some of the facts are true, some of the facts are false.
Oliver can tell which is which so I'm going to give
each team a science fact.
They'll tell me if they think it is right or wrong.
If it is true, Oliver will do this.
CAR HORN BLARES
If it is false, Oliver will let us know by doing this.
SHIP HORN BLARES
OK teams, I'm going to ask each a question.
Red team you are going first.
Tell me if you think this is true or false.
The Eiffel Tower sways by up to seven centimetres
in the wind.
Have a think, one of you
might know something that might give you the answer.
Audience what do you think? True or false?
I reckon about 60/40 thinking false.
-Is it true or false?
-You want to say it is false.
Oliver, is it true or false?
CAR HORN BLARES
That means it is true. That means it is true.
He knows the truth.
The tower also leans very slightly in bright sunlight because one side
of it will heat up and expand.
Bad luck team, no points.
Yellows, this is your chance to get ahead.
Planet Saturn would dissolve in water.
Have a think. Somebody might know something that is useful.
Audience, what do we think? Is it true or false?
Nearly everybody there thinks false. Nearly everybody here thinks true.
Audience divided. You can't always go by what the audience think.
-Have we come to a conclusion?
You think it is false? Oliver is it true or false?
SHIP HORN BLARES
It is false.
That's a point to the yellow team, well done. Saturn is less dense than
water which means it would float
if you could find a bath big enough to put it in.
Let's have the final question, this one works differently.
I won't ask you to tell me whether it's true or false.
I'm going to ask you to actually answer the question.
Both get the same question and you write your answer down.
I'll give the point to the person who is nearest the correct answer.
What was the coldest temperature ever recorded on earth?
In degrees Celsius, the coldest temperature recorded on earth.
Have a good think teams.
Audience, anybody got a clue? Put your hand up.
I'll come and talk to you.
It is a boot but it is also a microphone.
What d'you think?
You wouldn't know would you?
Probably minus 90 degrees.
Minus 90 Degrees, talk to the boot, what do you think?
Minus 45, quite a range straightaway.
-Minus 90 to minus 15, quite a range.
Yes, what do you think?
-That is very precise young man.
Have you got inside information on this one? Are you a weatherman?
-Do you like my invention?
-You do? Do you want to buy it?
You're just toying with me, I know that, it is not true.
I'm going to find out what the teams think.
If you'd like to turn your boards round. Reds, minus 50.
Yellows, that looks like minus 25,000 which is really nippy.
Let's find out.
The temperature was minus 89.4 degrees recorded in
Vostok weather station in Antarctica in 1983. Reds, you get the point.
That would have been cold. Imagine the hat
you'd have had to wear for that.
Right, that means we've finished with a point each. 1-1.
That's all to come, right now this is mini science.
I shall challenge my scientists to conduct experiments using
household objects with the help of my 65 year old teacher, Mini Miss.
I thought it was a good idea, Miss.
-I should explain,
I invented a time machine to bring back my science teacher.
And may have made a mistake as you ended up as a ten-year-old.
-Hurry up, I want to set them a test.
-What are we doing today?
We will look at the strength and force of weight distribution.
That sounds technical. How will we do that?
Teams are going to playing a game called anti-gravity grip.
We're going to attach a coat hanger to a platform using Velcro.
The teams have to take it in turns to
clip on household objects to the coat hanger.
The team who eventually detaches
the coat hanger from the Velcro loses the game.
This is the coat hanger and this is the stuff that will attach it.
This goes on here.
Like that I believe.
There we go. As they add more and
more weight to it, it is going to be quite nail-biting this.
Yes, it is. It takes skill and nerve to play this game.
Teams, I'm going to give you a hint. Mini Miss gave us a clue
when she said it is about weight distribution.
As you put things on here, try to add them nearer to the centre.
That will mean the weight is distributed across there.
That means it will hold it up. This will get harder as you get
more things attached to it, but as things get further out,
the weight is concentrated in one area and that will be it.
It will fail. That is a hint I have given you there, is that OK, Miss?
-I've never done that before. That's a hint.
You are competing head-to-head on this one.
It is a draw on the scores so we will have to decide who goes first.
Lab rats, if you tidy that ready for us.
To do that, we shall draw Blast Lab pens.
If you'd like to pick first yellows.
Reds, that means you get the short pen.
-Yellows you get the decision. First or second?
Yes, that's the best way to do it in this case.
I would advise you to have a chat and have a think.
Look at the objects. I will give you a bit of time
have to look at the objects and think about how they work.
If you look closely, on one side there are tiny hooks.
On the other, there are tiny loops.
Obviously, the hooks catch on the loops and grip.
If we had one of those hooks and one of those loops, it wouldn't be able
to hold anything but by having lots of them, we can spread the weight.
They share the weight between
them and so these can support 20kg per square centimetre.
-Have we had a chat and a think?
-Yellow team you are going first.
You've gone for the teddy bear. Why?
Because it is the lightest.
OK, away you go then. Attach it.
There you go, the first object is on.
The first object is there.
A ripple of applause, we are quite tense in here.
It is quite nail-biting.
-Red team have you made your decision?
-The rugby ball..
-The rugby ball? Why?
-We have a feeling it is going to save us.
Right, carry on then.
Tense moment audience. Tense moment.
Here we go. Well done, Dylan.
You can see weight distribution just like this in action when
circus performer's lie on a bed of nails
without getting hurt and hold a big weight on top of them.
It is because their weight is spread over all the nails.
If they were to lie on just one nail, all of their weight
would be on that and go through them.
Have we made our decision? What are we going for?
-Go for whatever you want, it is your choice.
I can't watch, this is terrifying.
Take your time, we are not going to hurry you.
Don't look to me for help, yellow.
You are on your own, Chantelle.
Here we go.
Nice one, Chantelle.
Reds, that means the problem is now back with you.
Weight distribution like this is important in building.
If you think of suspension bridges
the weight is spread between all the cables.
If they use just one, it would snap.
We have got three objects up there successfully.
Come on, Reds. What are you going to do?
Who's going to attach it? Zack? Zack, that's a rotten job to get.
Good luck to you.
Here we go. Oh, shh, shh, shh.
Right, the clips on, now to see if it will take the weight.
Come on Zack, come on Zack, come on
Zack, come on, come on, good luck, good luck.
Come on Zack. Oh, yes! Well done!
You see weight distribution actually just like this in shin guards when
you're playing football because all they do is
spread the impact of the ball, or if somebody kicks you,
they spread it across the whole of the pad so it feels less painful.
That's weight distribution, just like this. Yellows, nervous?
-Who is volunteering to attach it?
Eliana, good luck. Good luck, good luck, good luck.
This, now is.
Well, the hook's on.
I don't believe it!
-How you feeling then lads?.
You're not messing about, now.
They are playing mean. Right, OK.
Josh, good luck. Good luck.
Think about weight distribution.
He's making his move.
He was thinking about this like it was chess, then.
Woah. I can hear it going.
He's changed his mind. Look at that. Woah-ho-ho.
-We're gonna lose!
-We're gonna lose!
-That's not the attitude.
Think about weight distribution. Think about it.
Aw! Yellows. Bad luck. What could you do with that?
That means red team are the winners.
It takes the score to 2-1.
Bad luck yellows. That was a good game. Thank you, miss.
All this talk about weight distribution has got me thinking.
What if I use it on one of my lab rats?
My big idea this week is to create
a human spider that can climb up a wall but first
a demonstration of how rubbish man is at climbing up vertical surfaces.
1, 2, 3...
# My baby don't mess around because she loves me so
# And this I know for sure
# But does she really wanna
# But can't stand to see me walk out the door... #
He is pretty useless, which is probably why
we invented stairs and ladders.
A spider could whizz up a wall in seconds but what does a spider
have that a human doesn't?
Spiders have a number of tiny claws on the end of their legs.
When they climb walls, these claws
hook onto the small ridges and cracks in the wall's surface.
A bit like the way Velcro works.
So, if we had a suit made of one side of Velcro and a wall made of
the other, then could we climb it?
Obviously, this is not something to try at home.
So, to test my theory, my loyal lab rats have
constructed a ten metre-high wall covered in thousands of loops and
I have designed a special suit of hooks for a lab rat to wear but
this isn't a challenge for any old lab rat what we need is Spider rat.
# Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can
# Spins a web any size can't you see just like eyes
# Look out, here comes the Spiderman... #
His superhero suit will allow him to climb up a vertical wall. We hope.
Hold the experiment there. I think there's an extra point in this.
Teams, will he manage to climb to the top of the wall or not?
-Audience, What do you think?
-Depends how heavy he is against the wall.
True, it is all about weight,
spreading it between all of those different hoops and loops.
-What d'you think?
-Maybe the loops.
I think, the audience generally quite unsure on this one.
Anybody got an idea? You looked like you were going to put your hand up?
I don't think he will because
-the gravity will try to pull him down.
-The gravity tends to do that.
He won't go as high up as he plans to go.
You think what, may be part way?
Yeah. Well, it really depends on the wall.
The audience are a bit unsure on this one. What do we think teams?
-Have we both made up our minds?
-OK. Reds, will they do it?
-You think he will. Yellows, d'you think he will?
-Reds think lab rat will make it to top, yellows think not.
There's only one way to find out. Get on with the experiment.
OK, spider rat, do your thing.
The suit has stuck to the wall. Now for the climb.
I said climb. No, just lifting your feet off the ground isn't climbing.
Bit more energy this time. Get up there.
Yes, he's climbing.
No, he isn't. Come on, you're not trying.
That's really not very super, is it?
Spiderman would not be impressed.
Last try. Backwards doesn't work.
Hang on, he's half way up.
Oh, apparently he cheated. So he can stick, but not climb.
The world's least mobile super hero.
Thank you, spider rat. You're a complete and utter failure.
So that brings the score back to two points each.
The lab rat didn't make it to the top of the wall because every time
his body moved there weren't as many hooks and loops coming together
and spreading his weight, it was still about weight distribution.
Teams, with your scores you better get off.
It's time to get ready for the Messy Messy Mess Test.
So into your protective suits.
It's time then for us to move on.
They got it into their heads that they can do this.
I don't like to tell them it's not worth trying because
I like watching them fail. Let's move to the Messy Messy Mess Test.
Which today is in the septic tank.
Don't ask me what's in there. Not because I don't know but because
thinking about it makes me feel sick.
There are some creatures that like it in there. Things like rats.
So if you do see anything do please scream.
I probably will. This is the game.
Hidden in the tank that you are standing in are discs.
Some of them are like this one.
Duds. But the ones you're after are like these. They feature
your team's colour and the names of prizes, things like MP3 player.
Maybe a kitchen chemistry set, maybe some hulk smash hands.
Your job as teams is to find as many as you can.
Lab rat, you can get out now. Set those in and get out.
Your job is to find as many of those prized discs as you can
and get them in these baskets.
One for the yellow team, one for the red team.
The winning team will be the one with the most prize discs
into the baskets and you get to take them home.
The losing team will have to blow yours up.
The score right now is a draw. It is 2-2 so nobody starts first.
Both teams when you hear the siren sound, you start.
You've got some time to get as many
prize discs into these baskets and that sometime starts now.
Both teams not wasting any time as they immediately start the search
for prizes in perfect unison.
They are off the mark now with a prize each.
But it's the reds who've taken the initiative as the red-prize haul
grows, then grows some more. Not looking good for the yellows here.
Can you believe I've forgotten to warn them that sometimes there's
more of whatever that stuff is that they're in dropping down.
But it sometimes brings prize discs with it so it's a good thing.
Yeah, it's a good thing.
It smells worse than it looks. A second siren sounds, the goo flows.
Prizes are falling. What more could the young scientists ask for?
The team 's have swapped sides of the tank in their search for prizes.
Clever thinking, A for effort, doesn't actually seem to be
helping much, though.
Another siren. We know what that means, more goo and more prizes.
No, we're not actually watching a slow-motion replay, the teams
really are moving that slow.
Are they tired? Are they stuck in the goo?
Don't they realise sometime won't last for ever?
-Four, three, two, one.
OK, Time is up. Time is up. Both teams, that is the end of that game.
Lab rats, count them up let's have a look and discover which team won.
First of all, reds, how many have they got?
Four for reds. Yellow have got how many?
Three. That means reds are the winners.
Well done, reds. Congratulations.
Let's have a look at what you've won. Are you ready?
Kitchen chemistry set. You'll each take one of those home.
An MP3 player. A science magic set, one of those each.
A lunar eclipse bedroom light.
Red team, those are your prizes!
Well done. And now, the yellows.
Let's have a look at what you would have won. Robo-Bugs.
-A chemistry set.
-And a science magic set.
Unfortunately, there is a scientific protocol that we must adhere to.
I have it here in my lab coat at all times.
Any person or persons in receipt of prize or prizes that they have not
lawfully obtained or won must have their prize or
prizes taken from them to destroyed with the use of an exploding bidet.
Which means it's time for Bidet Goes Bang!
It is that moment in Blast Lab where one team look happy.
The reds here with all these things they're taking home.
Well done for winning, red team.
The other team, today it's the yellows, looking not quite so happy.
I'm sorry, yellows. One team's got to win, one team's got to lose.
What went wrong in that last game?
-I think we weren't fast enough.
-It was hard. It's a hard game.
You have to blow your prizes up.
-Who's going to push the plunger?
-All of us.
If you could lift the plunger for us. Lift the plunger up.
Don't push it down yet. There'll be an explosion.
We're going to give you a countdown. Here we go.
Five, four, three, two, one, go!
There you go. Today we have learnt that when weight is spread across
a wider area, much heavier objects can be suspended. Did we do that
by nobly delving through hundreds of in-depth scientific research papers?
It was more a case of sticking stuff to other stuff.
It's been fun! See you next time!
Blast Lab was recorded before a live studio audience. No lab rat was
harmed during the filming, though I did try my hardest.
# I'll be the one to show you the way
# You'll be the one to always complain
# Three in the morning come a bang bang... #