Freaky Froyday ROY

This is the story of Roy O'Brien.

He lives in an ordinary house, on an ordinary street.

The only trouble is, he doesn't look very ordinary!

All Roy really wants is to fit in.

But it's very hard to stay out of trouble when you're a cartoon!

Roy!!!!!

THEY SQUEAL

Roy!!!!!

Roy!!!!!

ROY!

It's Friday and after a busy week at Sandyford Progressive Learning,

final preparations are being made for a very special occasion.

BELL RINGS

Hammond Hall. My lifelong dream.

It'll make all the difference to me, eh, to the school...

Eh, for the children.

And... today we have an important visitor, eager to give us money!

And lots of it! For the teacher with the best project!

I was sure to win with this as my centrepiece.

Now look at it.

Ruined courtesy of one R...

..Roy O'Brien.

It's not fair, Hammo always blames me for everything.

Yeah, he's so mean.

I can't believe he called your Da in for a meeting.

Just tell them it was Deco's fault, your Da will believe ya.

Hey, Roy!

What?

This is your face. Phhhhhh!

Ha-ha!

R-rrrr! R-rrrrr!

Phhhhhhhh!

ROY!

Roy!!!!!

Oh, sorry, Sir!

I've just about had enough of your cartoon shenanigans.

Come with me, O'Brien.

Sir, is this safe?

Sure, sure. It's fine, O'Brien.

And you won't mention the raspberry thing to me Da, right?

Yes, yes, just get on with it.

Oh! Wooah! Woaaah! WHAAAA!

Roy, are you all right?!

Oh, me hand's stuck!

For goodness' sake! Stop messing about, O'Brien.

Ahhh! Ah, Sir! It's pulling me hand!

Ahh!

Ahh! Roy!!!

You've done it this time, O'Brien!

You've gone and broken my projector!

I'm sorry, Mr Hammond. I swear it was an accident!

THEY SCREAM

What is that?! OK, I'll be right back!

SCREAMING

Sir, why do I look like you and you look like me?

Come on! Work!

Oh, you've broken it!

Now how can we swap back?!

-Swap back?

-Keep up, O'Brien!

Obviously our bodies have swapped. Look at me!

Look at me! I'm ancient!

I even sound like you! Oh, I'm sorry, sir, it was an accident.

Please don't tell Miss Jervis

or she might ban me from the presentation!

Ban you? She'll fire me!

How can I help Mr Lucey, looking like this?

That's it, O'Brien! Mr Lucey can help us fix this in no time!

-And swap back, right, Sir?

-Right!

He can fix it, we swap back and no-one need be any the wiser.

And Roy, don't tell your friends.

Right. And I won't get in any trouble, Sir?

Hmmm. I promise.

-Deal?

-Deadly! Deal!

Right. We better get this to Mr Lucey!

Roy?

Er, yes, Miss?

-Oh, sorry, Derek. Derek?!

-Roy!

No, Roy, I mean. Wait. Sorry, what?

Derek, did you hear that strange sound?

No, Miss.

Roy, are you finished with Roy?

I've got a class waiting on a geography quiz.

Quiz? Oh, of course!

Well, Roy, er, you heard Miss Jervis.

But, the projector! I thought we were bringing it to...

Er, scurry along!

And don't forget, the capital of Madrid is Spain.

-HE RAPS:

-MC Square's gonna teach you through rap...

Sir! I'm desperate! I need you to fix the projector!

Well, I'm kinda busy.

Aw, Sir, I mean, Mr Lucey. I'll pay you back.

I'll correct homework. I'll wash beakers.

I'll even sign up for one of your charity things!

Anything!

What, you'd join me in the Fun Run tomorrow?

Yeah, sure, I'm begging ya.

OK, well, eh, sign up, then.

Roy... oh, eh! Hammo... ond.

Mr Hammond.

I'll see what I can do.

Aw, Sir, you're a legend!

Legend?

This is so embarrassing, I've more hair under me nose

than on the top of me head!

-Mr Hammond! Eh, I'm sorry!

-What?

-I'm sorry.

Oh, yes! Eh, no eating in the corridor Mr Fagan!

Eh, eh, give it to me.

Well? Hop to it!

Ah, ah, ah! I said hop, Mr Fagan!

Go on, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop!

This is so cool!

Roy!

Roy.

-Roy!

-What? Oh. Yes?

Your country is Fiji.

Wait, what do we have to do?

You have to imagine what it's like living there.

Imagine? How can we grade imagination?

-Well, grading isn't everything.

-It is in the real world!

-Pardon?!

-Roy!

And I believe it would be in the best interest of the class

if they were given something a little more practical.

-No?

-Right!

CLASS GROAN

But it's your class. So, Fiji? Fine.

Yes.

CLASS LAUGH

-What?!

-OK, OK, settle down! Settle down. Roy...

BELL RINGS

This is a ghastly nightmare!

Leave your pages, thank you very much!

'While Mr Hammond struggles to fit in,

'Roy discovers the confiscation locker in Mr Hammond's office.

'And a lot more...'

N, O... O'Brien.

Huh, must be my life story here!

Hmm.

Roy O'Brien.

Huh?

"Easily distracted,

"lacks discipline, sloppy worker!"

Aw, no!

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hi! Shouldn't you be teaching your history lesson?

Oh, yes, of course!

Eh, Derek... your forehead.

Oh! Eh, jelly, Miss?

No. Thank you.

Howya, guys? Settle down, class.

Settle down. Hoywa, Niall.

Roy, your face!

Oh!

Eh, we were talking about, eh...

..the history of the Battle of Haystacks.

Hastings! The Battle of Hastings!

I know, Mr Hammond! Eh... is my name. Mr Hammond.

Wow! Roy actually knew that!

HE CLAPS

Right, Deco, to the back of the class! Now!

And face the wall.

Ah, but Sir, I won't be able to see the board!

That'll teach you to concentrate!

Although, these books are boring, aren't they?

Let's talk about real history.

Let's talk about the history of...

football.

Tara, who is the greatest footballer, ever?

Eh, Pele?

Correct! No homework for you today. And the second best footballer ever?

Beckham.

Wrong! Double homework for you, Hendley.

What? This is ridiculous!

And who is the greatest goalkeeper ever?

Miss Jervis wouldn't agree to double homework!

Miss Jervis? No, she's not even a goalkeeper.

100 lines on the board, Deco. "I must not question Hammo."

"Hammo"?

But there's no lines in SPL. I'm telling Miss Jervis!

Ah! Chop, chop, O'Leary, these lines won't learn themselves!

This is all a bit weird.

This is the best class ever! And it's Hammo!

# MC Square's gonna teach ya through rap

# If you all wanna learn, put on your teaching cap!

# We're gonna educate ya Feed your mind 'n motivate ya

# So get up on your feet and let me hear you clap!

# MC Squares, our goal is easy as pie

# Teaching music in school, and here's the reason why! #

Take it, Roy!

Take what?

You know, show us your dance moves! Come on, you gotta loosen up,

you gotta feel it in your bones.

But I can't feel my bones.

Come on, looser, looser! You know, like you did before.

Woaaah. Wooah!

THEY LAUGH

Ah, Roy!

'It's lunch-time.

'Mr Hammond discovers the schoolyard can be just as difficult

'as the classroom.'

-Watch out, Roy!

-Sorry!

Hey, Roy, giz a game! Only if you're not too chicken!

-What?

-Leave him alone, Deco!

What's this, the girlfriend?

One down already! Come on, chicken.

I'm not really interested in childish games.

Hey!

Come on, Roy, don't let him away with it!

Yeah, of course, yes.

I just found next Monday's history quiz!

Oh, Mr Hammond. Got some bad news, I'm afraid.

-Oh, what's up?

-It's the projector.

There's a piece completely broken so we'll have to buy a new part.

It will be Monday at the earliest before I can fix it.

Ya what?! Monday?!

But that means I'll be stuck for the whole weekend as...

As...?

As... a bug in a rug.

Stuck as a bug in a rug? OK.

Hammo in my house?!

Til Monday? No way!

Ow! That hurt!

HE GASPS

What's that?

Blood!

Ahhhhh!

Go on, Roy, use your cartoon arms!

How do I do this?

Mmm...

Wow!

Hurray for me!

Come on! No.

Hard luck, Declan!

CHILDREN CHANT: Roy! Roy! Roy!

I mean, who knows, maybe he's not in trouble at all.

CHANTING

That's my boy!

Great game, Roy.

ROY!

Roy!

Clearly I should apologise for wasting your time, Da.

Eh, Da... Dad... and bringing you in here today.

Roy is perhaps one of the best, no, certainly the best student

I've ever teached.

Do you not mean taught?

Yeah, that too, yeah. You must be very proud of him.

He's certainly a great student and must be an even greater son to ya.

Well, I mean, he has his moments, you know.

And talented. You should buy him an electric guitar.

He's a musical genius.

Wait... my Roy?

Yeah. An expensive one.

Yeah, well, I mean, that's all well and good, Derek,

but have you ever heard him sing?

Hasn't a note in his head.

He gets that from his mother, by the way.

He's better than you singing in the shower!

You what?

No, no, no, I'm pretty sure that no-one has ever actually

died from a paper cut.

What happened in there?

You relax now, son. I'm very proud of ya.

And I'm glad that you have a teacher like Mr Hammond.

You are?

Derek... Oh, sorry. Here.

Maybe we can go and check out the electric guitars this weekend, huh?

The weekend?!

So, how did it go?

HIGH-PITCHED WHINE

'Is this the button, what?'

'Oh, how's it going? Eh, could Tara, Sean, Niall

'and Abby come to Hammo's office?'

'I mean, Hammond's, cos that's who I am, Mr Hammond.'

Oh, OK, but come back as soon as you can, OK?

No wonder Hammo thinks you broke his model.

You're such a cartoon... klutz.

You did it?

Oh, my! You know I did, ya dope! Hammo never believes you.

Hmmm.

-I'm not Mr Hammond. I'm Roy!

-I'm scared.

So you're saying a projector did this?

Yeah! Ah, come on, lads!

Did you notice how strange I've been acting all day?

Or I mean, how Roy has?

Roy HAS been acting strange all day.

See, guys! It's me!

How can we be so sure this isn't some kind of trick?

Em, ask me anything!

What school did Roy go to before SPL?

Ask me something Hammo wouldn't know! Wait! I've an idea.

MUSIC PLAYS

So now do you believe me?!

OK, OK, we believe you, just turn it off!

I never want to see Hammo do that again.

But it's impossible!

I figured something was strange when he named Roy

in his top ten footballers of all time.

Oh, yeah. Roy? It is you!

Yes!

Oh, great!

That means we've been talking to Hammo all day!

What did we tell him?

Oh, no!

Eh, Roy, are you feeling OK?

No, Sir. I'm not feeling so good.

I think I should go to the nurse's office.

Oh, whoa! Eh, yeah, maybe you should.

-Why not?

-Because I can't fit in an overhead projector!

Aha! I caught you!

And you told them?! Roy, you made a promise!

It was an emergency, Mr Hammond.

No excuses, Roy. My office!

But this is your office!

Mr Lucey can't fix the projector until Monday!

So we're going to be stuck like this for the whole weekend.

Monday? Stuck? But the presentation!

Hammond Hall is doomed!

I'm doomed! We'll have to tell Miss Jervis.

And I'll be fired for endangering a student!

No, Mr Hammond, you won't be fired.

I will! And who'd miss me anyway? None of the children like me.

-That's not true!

-Really?

Really. You were really funny on the basketball court.

If you were like that as Hammo,

you'd be the most popular teacher in school!

You really mean that?

We can help. We can still do the presentations.

The joy of books without the distraction of, of, of...

Computers.

Computers! And, eh....

Go for it, Mr Hammond.

OK, if I put that there and then I...

Uhhhhh!

Who's the cartoon klutz now? Ha!

See?!

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Come on, it's starting!

-What?

Mr Hammond, I hope it's not too late,

but I managed to fix the projector after all.

Ah, Sir, you fixed it? That's just deadly!

Bye!

Deadly?

OK, guys, settle down. You, up.

Now. Oh!

Hello! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

-OK!

-Do take care of my coat. It's worth more than your car.

Right, well, these are the kids. What? Oh, kids standing up!

Up on your feet! Great, come this way.

Come on, Mr Hammond, one more push!

Come on, Mr Hammond!

No, no, it's no use! This isn't going to work.

We've tried everything!

It's gone three.

I just guess we're going to have to try again later.

It's show time.

Hmm...good luck.

You too.

Oooh!

And now for the penultimate presentation, The MC Squares!

I think you'll find it goes a little something like this...

-HIP-HOP MUSIC STARTS

-Oooh!

-HE RAPS:

-# MC Squares Gonna teach with a rap

# If y'all wanna learn Put on your thinking cap

# We're gonna educate ya Feed your mind 'n' motivate ya

# So get on your feet and let me hear you clap

# MC Squares Our goal is easy as pie...

What's happened to his arms?

OK, Roy...

You can do this.

Oh...

HE GASPS

Oh, no!

# ..to brighten up our day we need a bit of funding

# So whaddaya say? Hey! #

I'm not dancing!

Break it down!

Word.

MUSIC STOPS, SILENCE

APPLAUSE

Roy, you're on.

What? Aw...

And now for our final presentation team...Mr Hammond.

APPLAUSE AND GIGGLING

GIGGLING CONTINUES

Hammond...Hall!

Hammond...Hall!

The joy of books without the distraction of...

confusers and teleshisons.

Sorry - computers and televisions.

HE SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER

HE GROANS ANGRILY

Wow, it's hot in here.

Oof!

Bald people sweat a lot, don't they?

GIGGLING

Anyway...about the libraries...

LAUGHTER

Is this meant to be a joke?

Maybe we'll just leave it there.

No, please, please! I'm sorry.

I know I always make a mess,

but actually, I think Hammond Hall is a brilliant idea.

Miss Jervis, it's all my fault.

It's because of the projector.

What's he doing?

You see...

I caused an accident this morning,

and...so I should take responsibility.

What are you trying to say, Derek?

Nooo! I'm not Derek, I'm...

ROYYYYY!!

Argh!

Argh!

CLATTERING AND CRASHING

Roy!

Oh, my head!

Oh, I'm me!

ROY CHUCKLES

-It worked, Roy. We've swapped!

-Wait, Roy - what was this all about?

Well...

I guess I've ruined things again. I'm sorry.

No, Roy, you haven't ruined anything.

But...I ruined your presentation.

It doesn't matter. It's not important.

If anyone should be sorry, it's me.

Not just for today, but because, well, I guess being a cartoon boy

takes a lot more discipline than I could ever have imagined.

Well, it's not so easy being a teacher either.

I mean, you have to do everything yourself.

That's why Hammond Hall should win.

No, Roy - the best team should win...

and that team is MC Squares.

But, all the work you did...

Oh bravo, bravo!

Oh, that was wonderful entertainment!

And, everybody, I have made my decision of whom to fund.

Never before have I seen such mutual understanding

between a student and a teacher.

Sandyford Progressive Learning should be very, very proud.

And that is why I have decided to fund...

..none of the projects presented here today.

-None of them.

-None?

Indeed, other schools deserve more funding,

to try and catch up with SPL's high standard of excellence!

SHE LAUGHS

-LAUGHING:

-This...was so such fun!

Thank you!

Goodbye. Out of my way. You, get me my coat. Goodbye!

Ah!

Well, I guess everyone performed so fantastically

that we're all winners, right?

Yes?

Aw, come on - let's pat ourselves on the back for a job well done.

-Yeah. Whooo!

-Deco, my office, first thing Monday morning.

For what?!

"Maybe Hammo does believe Roy!"

So, Roy, does this mean you and Hammo are best pals from now on?

Well, Roy, not a bad end to an interesting day?

No, Derek.

Er, let's just stick to Mr Hammond, shall we?

Right, well done, everyone. You too, Roy.

You more than made up for this morning's geography quiz.

Huh?

You came bottom of the class.

Yes, well, er, geography isn't exactly my strong point, Roy.

Ah, what?!

Well, see you tomorrow morning, 9am sharp.

I'm glad you signed up.

And to think I was nervous about the Fun Run!

Fun Run? Sign up?

Oh, no! No!

Bottom of the class?

Hammo did that on purpose!

Aw, Hammo!

Roy!

HIPHOP MUSIC PLAYS