Roy 2.0 ROY

This is the story of Roy O'Brien.

He lives in an ordinary house on an ordinary street.

The only trouble is, he doesn't look very ordinary.

All Roy really wants is to fit in,

but it's very hard to stay out of trouble when you're a cartoon!

Roy!!!

Roy!!!

Roy!!

Another busy Wednesday at Sandyford Progressive Learning

has come to an end.

I thought today would never end.

My day's just beginning.

Ever since me ma got that new, fancier job at Doctor Raschid's,

me chores have doubled.

You should be happy for her.

I am! But now I get to spend me evening washing floors

and hoovering me da's end of the couch.

It's like a graveyard for biscuits under that cushion.

That's a pity.

I was going to ask if anyone wanted to watch a film at mine.

I've got Spider Trooper 3.

Spider Trooper 3?!

Aw! I've wanted to see that, like, forever!

That's funny, it only came out a month ago.

It's not fair!

But, I suppose it could be worse.

At least Becky's on laundry today.

Me da plays five-a-side on Wednesdays.

You don't want to be anywhere near his shorts after that!

Anyway, I'd better get going.

It would take two of me to do everything I have to do.

Ah, O'Brien! There you are.

I need 300 copies of the school newsletter. Today.

-Make that three of you.

-Aw, sir! I have to get home!

Well, you'd better hurry up then.

You, help him.

But, sir, what about Spider Trooper?!

I thought his name was Sean.

No, I mean..

Less talking, more copying.

We'll let you know how the film went.

Come on, Spider Trooper.

Sorry, guys. See you tomorrow.

Stop messing and give me a hand.

All right. One hand coming up!

Very funny.

Actually, that is kind of funny...

Give me a go!

Hello!

Arghh!

TOGETHER: I've just had the best idea!

SNIPPING SOUND

Arghhh!

I shall call him...

Roy 2.0.

Oh, well. It was worth a shot.

Arghhh!

All right, lads?

All right?

You guys are the greatest!

I thought I was going to be stuck in that photocopier forever.

What do you want from us?

Nothing!

You've already given me everything I want -

a chance to experience the world.

The question is, what do you want with me?

Cool!

What are you going to do with him?

I thought I'd start by letting him do my homework and chores.

That doesn't seem very fair.

You heard him, he wants to experience life.

And right now, homework and chores are my life.

I suppose.

Here, we need to figure out a rota so we don't get seen together.

Yeah.

At first, I thought it was mean to let Roy 2.0 do all the boring stuff.

But he's really into it!

WHISTLING

Aren't you great, Roy!

Why don't you get yourself a cuppa and have a rest?

No thanks, Ma.

I won't feel right until this floor is sparkling.

You could learn a lot from your son, Billy boy.

Oh, yeah?

She's not wrong, son.

That floor's never been as clean, has it?

Look what I've done to the floor! Sorry, son.

Don't worry about it, Da. I'll get it.

Fair play to you, Roy.

You missed a bit there, look.

It's working!

They didn't suspect a thing!

Uh-oh... Becky.

You seem different.

You seem different too.

Have you gotten prettier?

What's with you? And what's with all the sticky tape?

This?

All the kids are doing it.

I'm surprised you didn't know.

You always seem so ahead of fashion.

Well, of course I knew about it.

I was just surprised you knew about it.

And yes. I have got prettier.

You know, I've always wanted a brother.

But this is even better - it's like having a twin!

Don't be silly. There can only ever be one Roy.

Yeah, you're right. Nighty-night!

Another school day has begun,

and the children are enjoying the first class of the day.

Mathematics.

And, if you think that's exciting, wait until you see the solution.

You're in for quite, quite the surprise.

What is that guy talking about?

Who knows? But Roy seems keen.

Oh, please, he's just looking for attention.

As usual.

He is looking for attention! At the door!

CHILDREN GASP

See? Yeah, told you you'd be surprised!

All right then, children,

I've got something very special planned for you today.

And, if you survive it, I think you'll thank me for it.

Let's go!

Come on, keep up!

Up, up!

We really need to talk.

We can talk later.

But right now, I'd like you to meet...

Roy 2.0!

Howyas!

Right, if anyone needs me,

I'll be in the changing room having a power-nap.

No stragglers!

You heard the Vice Principal, no stragglers!

Ah, doesn't that feel good?

Phew! I know I've never felt better.

Now, I want you changed for lunch.

No dilly-dallying!

You too, O'Brien...

HE PANTS WITH EXHAUSTION

Thanks for the workout, Mr Hammond.

It's nice to build up an appetite before a meal.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm going to go the canteen before all the good dinners are gone.

French class will be starting soon.

Think I might call it a day. See ya!

Am I the only one who can see how nuts this is?

What are you talking about? This is the coolest thing ever!

It's like one of those weird films

where a crazy professor brings something creepy back to life.

Exactly! And have any of those movies ever had a happy ending?

Well...no.

No, and neither will this.

That Roy 2.0 really gets me!

Never mind that, what are we going to do with him?

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm taking him shopping.

What's your problem with him anyway?

Yeah, you don't even know him.

That's just it! None of us do!

Oh, I get it.

Finally! Thank you.

-You're jealous.

-Jealous?! Why would I be jealous?

Because now I've got a Roy of my own.

I don't see why we have to do anything about Roy 2.0.

It's the real Roy who's annoying.

Bonjour! Venez a l'interieur!

Where to begin...

Yeah!!!

Hey, Roy?

Look, I'm sorry for giving you a hard time earlier.

I was just worried.

Thanks, but you don't need to be.

Roy 2.0 is a really nice guy.

I know you think that, and you're probably right,

but it's a bit weird how happy he is to step into your shoes.

I don't wear shoes.

You know what I'm saying.

Who would want to have all the rubbish jobs

while someone else has all the fun?

The truth is, I'd been wondering about that myself.

Besides, you're one of a kind, that's what we all like about you.

We don't need two Roys!

Yeah, you're right.

One Roy is enough.

Anyway, I'm glad we talked. See you tomorrow!

One Roy...

Who are you talking to?

Nobody!

Ready to buy some shoes?

Roy 2.0, I've got a feeling we're going to be the best of friends.

This has to be the best week of me life.

Roy 2.0 has already finished me homework,

and guess who's outside cutting the grass?

I don't know what's got into Roy.

Not only has he not complained about cutting the grass,

we didn't even ask him to do it!

He's done all his chores for the week.

And there was a note in his journal from Miss Jervis

saying he came first in his Fun With French Quiz!

Fun? sounds like a test to me!

You two are never happy.

Excuse me, is that sticky tape on your wrist?

Ugh, you're so annoying!

It's a fashion thing, you wouldn't understand.

She's right, you know.

Are you in bed, Roy?

Yeah!

See you in the morning, love.

SHE KISSES HIM

You've been a real little star this week. Good night, love.

Good night...Ma.

What are you waiting for?

Roy. He's just in there finishing up.

That's impossible, I just tucked him into bed.

HE GULPS

SNORING

ROY COUGHS

Come on! Wake up, wake up!

Don't you just love comics?

Yeah.

Listen, I don't even want to tell you what I've just been through,

but there's still a few things we need to figure out

if this is going to work.

I couldn't agree more.

Hey, you're losing your sticky tape.

I know.

I'm getting more like you every day.

Soon, even we won't be able to tell each other apart!

How cool is that?!

PHONE RINGS

Where is it?!

'Hey, Roy, have you left for school yet?'

No. Me ma forgot to wake me up and now I can't find my maths book!

-Hurry up, Roy, you'll be late!

-In a minute!

'You'd better get a move on. We've got Hammond first class.'

Oh, I think Roy 2.0 has that covered.

Here you go, Rebecca. I think I wear too much tape anyway.

Thanks, bro.

Nice to see you two getting along.

Have a good day at school, love. And you too, Roy.

See you, love.

See you! Bye!

Ha-ha! Unbelievable!

My ma's even kissing him goodbye.

Looks like another sweet day to myself.

Wait a second.

Kissing him goodbye?!

'What's the matter?'

Oh, um, nothing. I'll see you later.

Big deal.

Just think about all the fun stuff you can do today!

Oh, stupid thinking!

Things don't quite feel the same today for Roy.

Can you really score a goal when you're not playing against anybody?

Yay.

And, as for the playground, well, it's all "see" and no "saw"

when you're on your own.

Maybe I'm lonely.

Ha-ha, don't be silly, you're not lonely!

Then again, I am talking to myself.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

It's nice to see you!

It is?

Oh, it's you.

Where have you been? We haven't seen you all morning.

At least, I don't think we have.

Yeah. It's getting harder to tell you two apart.

I know. And Roy 2.0 isn't following the plan.

Every time I try to go to class, he's already there.

Even the fun classes!

Well, O'Brien?

Not bad, sir. And yourself?

I mean, "Well, where are my geography papers", O'Brien?

I sent you to fetch them about 15 minutes ago!

Your geography papers, sir.

Thank you, and about time too...

CHILDREN WHISTLE

Tell Roy 2.0 that I want to have a chat with him after school.

It's been a long afternoon for Roy,

but school is finally out for the weekend.

Finally! Hey, where's Roy 2.0?

He's already gone.

What?

Said something about getting a Chinese with your da.

Hey, that's my job! I always get the Chinese with my da!

Sounds like you've been replaced.

Nah. He's just confused.

Yeah. I mean, sometimes even I don't know which one is me!

I was afraid something like this might happen.

I thought we agreed that one Roy was enough!

When did we agree on that?

Yesterday, after school.

But...

I didn't see you after school yesterday.

OK, so. I have to go now. See you.

Now I want a Chinese.

What?!

LAUGHING AND CHATTING

You're funny, Roy!

Here, watch this!

Oh, Roy!

Here, have a bit of this.

He doesn't want it!

HE SIGHS

Don't stay up too late, love!

-Good night, love.

-Night.

-Good night, Becks.

-Night, Da.

Arghh!

Well, would you look at that!

Now we're completely identical.

You know, I've been thinking and, first of all,

thanks for the help over the last couple of days,

-you've been great.

-But?

But I decided I want my life back.

Even the boring bits.

The thing is, I want a life too.

And your one fits me just right.

Argh!!

What are you doing?!

Arghhh!

Will everybody stop screaming?!

What on earth is going on?!

It's all my fault, Ma.

I made a photocopy of myself to get out of chores and homework,

and now he wants to take over my life!

What?! No, Ma, I'm the real Roy!

I can't believe what I'm seeing.

Ma, your son's a cartoon character. Weirder things have happened.

Now sort this out and we can all go back to bed.

I suppose I should be used to this kind of thing.

But I'm going to need a lot of tea.

-Bill?

-Yeah. I'll get the biscuits.

OK. We're going to have a quiz.

The O'Brien family quiz.

The real Roy should know all the answers.

Good idea, Ma.

Question one.

What's my job?

Oh, um...

Something to do with...

..Dr Raschid.

Is "assistant doctoring" a thing?

No.

Administrative Executive Manager.

Correct.

Question two.

What age is Becky?

Oh, er...

12?

-Teen?

-No!

It's not polite to tell a lady's age,

but Becky will be another year older on September 2nd.

Correct!

What's Bill's favourite film?

Ah, yes, well, of course that would be the award-winning costume drama,

Lady Harrington's Reading Gloves.

I wasn't asking you, Bill!

That one! Yeah, the reading gloves film.

Actually, it's Vital Explosion 4.

Correct.

Yes. Yes, indeed it is.

-Extra extra medium?

-Incorrect.

The yellow-bellied meadow pipet.

Correct.

Some sort of...beard?

Incorrect.

No, Becky is not allergic to ice cream.

Although she is a little nervous around jelly.

I don't trust things that wobble.

Correct.

So, that's 20 correct answers for one Roy

and 20 incorrect answers for the other Roy.

Ha! Nailed it!

In your face!

Which tells us that you are the imposter!

-Me?!

-Yep, you!

Because Roy would never rub someone's face in it like that.

But I got all the questions right!

Exactly! Roy never pays that much attention to his family.

I said the real Roy SHOULD know all the answers,

but I knew he wouldn't.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

ROY 2.0 SOBS

I'm sorry! It's just, Roy has such a great life.

He's got everything!

Family and friends...and comics.

And being loved was such a nice feeling.

I know I haven't been the friend I pretended to be.

But don't make me go back

to being a pile of paper in a school photocopier.

What if I'm turned into exam papers?

Children hate exam papers!

Well, when you put it that way...

OK! Nobody's getting turned into exam papers.

There's nothing we can do about it tonight.

Let's all get a good night's sleep

and we'll sort it out in the morning.

Maybe this will cheer you up.

Thanks, but I'm not in the mood.

It was nice of your mother to say we can sort it out in the morning

but we all know I'm going back to the photocopier.

There's just no other way.

You know, not all sheets of paper get turned into exams.

Some get to live much more exciting lives.

-They do?

-Sure!

They can even become comics!

You really think I could be a comic?

I'm sure of it!

There's a paper-recycling drop-off

outside the printing factory near Sean's house.

He says they only print comics in there.

Wow! That would be so cool!

Hey! Let's stay up all night reading comics and...

Will you two go to sleep?!

Or we could go to sleep.

Yeah, I think that would be best.

We have a big day tomorrow.

There you go, lads.

Well, I guess this is it.

Yep. Next time we see you, you'll be a comic.

Kids will be queuing up to buy you!

I might even become a priceless collectable some day.

Either way, I hope you end up back on my shelf.

Me too.

Thanks, Roy.

Don't worry about it, son.

I'm sure we'll see him again soon.

I do love a good read.

Aw, don't remind me!

I just wanted to say,

thanks to Roy 2.0 for reminding me how lucky I am.

I've got friends to help me bring my dreams to life.

And friends to tell me

how nuts those dreams were in the first place.

And I have a family that are always by my back.

To Roy 2.0!

To Roy 2.0!

What are you so happy about?

I thought you'd be sorry to be stuck with the annoying Roy again.

How could you say that?

OK, me and Roy don't always see eye to eye,

but I wouldn't just drop him for a new shopping buddy.

Besides, those shoes I bought with Roy 2.0 don't go with anything.

Good to have you back, son.

Yeah.

Although, it was nice to see Roy getting along with his sister,

even if it wasn't the real Roy.

Well, to be honest, I was kind of missing our little fights.

All I'm hearing is, you missed me.

Why do you have to open your mouth and ruin everything?

You're such a sap!

And we're back!