Tiptastic Sadie J

Yes, Mrs Rice? Absolutely, Mrs Rice.

That's not a problem, Mrs Rice.

I can do that, Mrs Rice.

Great, Mrs Rice.

-Who was that?

-Mrs...

Don't you start.

That woman. She's been on at me all week. Spanner.

You know, I really appreciate all the help you've been giving me.

Ah, no worries! I'm your right-hand girl.

BURPING

Don't you mean man?

Sass! Sass! Code pink emergency! It's everywhere!

-Friday at school's going to be dress-down day! Dun-dun-dun!

-No way!

Get out of here!

This is my chance to show the world how fantabulous and girlicious I am!

SLURPING

We've got a lot of work to do before Friday.

-We've got a lot of work to do here!

-On Mrs Rice's car.

-Get in line, girlfriend!

-Sorry, Dad! Won't be long!

Well, let's get to it. Girlfriend.

-Steve?

-Yeah?

-There's no engine in it. How did she get it here?

-She must have pushed it.

-Woah! Little Mrs Rice...

# Won't somebody tell me why I'm always surrounded by boys?

# Give me a break

# They got attitude, kind of cute But when they're in trouble

# Takes a girl to save the day

# I'd love another girl around the place

# Could you be her?

# Someone to back me up so I always Have the last word

# I guess it's hard to be the only girl

# In a boys' world

# Girl, girl In a boys' world

# I know I'm strong because I got a positive mental attitude

# Understanding, kind and sensitive Don't want gratitude

# I just don't want to be the only girl

# In a boys' world. #

-Hurry up, hurry up!

-I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!

-Where's the game?

-Relax, it's his right here.

-Open it, open it!

-I'm trying.

What have they wrapped this in, spidey web?

Give it here.

-I don't think people care about their environment. Bubble wrap!

-Not now!

Ah, Evil Zombie Scum 2.

What did we ever do before you came into our lives?

-Play Evil Zombie Scum 1?

-Oh, yeah.

Sass?

It's official - she's got nothing to wear to dress-down Friday.

Right, nothing to wear. Well, what about this? It's...

..like something YOU would wear.

Clearly I'm going to have to restyle you for dress-down Friday too.

Guys, focus.

All this stuff makes me look like a five-year-old. Or a mechanic.

Or a five year-old mechanic.

Call me crazy, but I could so pull this off.

Kit, if I don't look C-to-the-OO-L,

I'll only ever be known as the girl

that put bread sticks up her nose in the canteen.

I did warn you.

I got it!

What if I covered myself in glue and then stuck on patches of fabric,

creating one totally unique, totally Sadie-J outfit?

OK... What if I cover myself in glue and then rolled in glitter?

Fine!

-What if I cover myself in glue...

-BOTH: No covering yourself glue!

-We need to buy a new outfit.

-With what?

I've already spent my pay from the garage.

I know! I'll get an advance!

You're not getting an advance!

-OMG, you are so mean!

-I've already given you an advance.

I've given you loads of advances!

I don't need to pay you again till you're 27.

Please, Dad! I need that outfit like Keith needs a brain.

Like Kitty-Kat needs attention.

Like Danny needs anti-fart medication.

Look, I'm sorry, am I missing something here?

Is in this not dress-DOWN Friday?

-Which means dress up.

-Are left and right still the same?

This is my chance to show everyone the real me.

The real you wears overalls and burps.

Things are tight at the moment.

Why do you think I'm taking on all this extra work?

I'll do next month's work. I'll do next year's.

You need me! Who else can do this?

You're not getting any more cash. Give me that.

-Is that your final offer?

-Yes.

-Fine. No cash, no Sass. I quit.

-Fine.

-Good luck doing all Mrs Rice's cars without me.

-Like I need luck!

-Bit of advice, boss.

Never try and eat chips whilst going downhill on a home-made go-kart,

that's only got three wheels, when you're not wearing a helmet.

Call me when you change your mind.

On the 4th of Never.

And I'll come crawling back on the 5th of Never.

There's a month called Never?

-'You lose again.'

-This is the worst game ever!

-Oh, yeah!

Why are you smiling?

Fortunately for you, I'm the worst computer-gamer you know.

-I know.

-I've thought of everything.

Sorry. Saving that for later.

DOG BARKS

Well, I've downloaded these cheats

from cheatingcheatsforlittle cheaters.com

That's cheating!

That's cheating!

That better be to demonstrate

-the physics problem I'm working on.

-It is!

Only instead of a physics problem, it's a fashion problem,

and you're not working on it. That's the problem.

Even geeks have to try and look good for dress-down Friday.

Women died so you could wear spangly ballet pumps.

They really didn't.

If I have to stand next to you , looking like that, I'll die.

Of shame. Which is why I'm going to give you Kit's Fashion Fix.

-Copyright, Kit Karter.

-Er, no thanks.

-Fine.

Then I'll be forced to tell people that I don't know you

and that you're a German exchange student called Helga.

-Off the top of my head.

-Hey, peeps.

I have totally found a way we can make loads of buckaroos.

Money!

-Your Dad agreed to give you the advance?

-Ha, no.

I don't need him.

This is going to make me money.

-Is that an ant farm?

-Uh-huh.

When they puppies start making silk or honey, or whatever they make...

Um, that would be nothing.

Ah. Who knew?

And stay out! You can't waitress for toffee, little girl!

Miss V, we've got another quitter!

Hey, Sass, I know where you can make enough money to buy a new outfit.

Get real, Kitster. Me, a waitress with Chloe? I'm not that desperate.

Exactly. You don't need a fancy new outfit for dress-down day.

Just wear your uniform, like me.

Miss V! I need you to give me that job.

OK, but there is one condition to working here.

You have to get along with Chloe. She is my best waitress.

I can totally get along with Trogfa... I mean Chloe.

No problemo, Miss V.

-Then you are fourth in line for the job.

-Yay!

I mean, what? Fourth?

They were here first.

I heard when you work here Miss V expects you

to cut her skanky toenails. With your teeth!

And don't get me started on her wind problem.

All I'll say is parp city.

You really want this job, don't you?

And you know I'm lying about Miss V. Hm, tricky.

Ooh, look, Miley Cyrus!

What?

-Zombie to your left! Zombie to your left!

-I've got it!

-'Game completed.'

-Yes! Eat my axe, undead scum!

I can't believe we completed Evil Zombie Scum 2 to in...

four minutes and three seconds.

I know. Ace plan downloading those cheats. We rock!

-So now what do we do?

-Nothing, I guess.

BOTH: I'm bored!

-Where did they go?

-I guess they changed their minds.

Then the job is yours.

Get in!

Listen up, mouth breather.

I work alone. I've driven out every waitress Miss V's ever hired.

And one of them was my own sister.

Er, scared face much?

OK, maybe a teensy bit.

Dad, Dad! Cheeky Boy and I completed Evil Zombie Scum 2!

Oh, boys, that's brilliant! That is fantastic!

That's such a better use of your time than something like...

I don't know, homework?

Go on.

Can I have some cash for a new game, Dad?

Danny Boy. You've got to build up to it, like this.

Hey, Mr J, nice overalls.

Has anyone ever told you that you're the best Dad in the world?

In fact, I wish you were my dad. That bald patch really suits you.

-So when do we get the game?

-OK, lads.

What is it with you kids, eh?

Have I got "cash machine" on my forehead?

I'm going to tell you what I told Sass.

A car does not run on air alone.

You only get out of it what you put into it. Comprendez?

-You've got to earn it.

-But Dad, we're bored!

When I was your age, I could entertain myself

for hours with just an old car mat and a broken windscreen wiper.

I remember the summer of '79.

Run for your lives! I've heard this one before!

Never fails.

Ah, here we are!

How are you? Comfy?

Do you need a hand with that, boss?

I don't think you've got one to spare.

It's heavy though, so you can be my eyes.

All right.

-Right, keep to the right.

-Right of where?

-Towards me, right.

-Towards you.

-Just steady, boss, all right?

-Well, yeah. This is heavy.

-Try and go to the right.

-Your right or my right?

-My right.

-Watch it. This really is a two-man job.

Arghhhh!

-Man down! Man down!

-Two men down! Two men down! Ohh!

Ah, Dedes, how about a hug?

We never hug.

I know. And it upsets me. Come here, you!

Ha! I did it. I accessorised you.

Kit! I told you, I'm going to wear what I want.

Some people are just not willing to be helped.

At least I don't have pen on my face.

It's a designer beauty spot.

Are we done here? So what's the goss?

Well, in old news, Dede dresses like an old person.

And oh, news just in. Dede dresses like an old person.

Time for the training, Miss Jenkins.

Oh, right, that.

Don't think I'll need much training. If Chloe can do it.... Hey!

We place the orders there, we get the food from there,

we serve the customers there, the tables here, the plates here...

Ah, where did you say we put the orders?

Chloe will show you how it is done. So graceful. Like a beautiful swan.

Beautiful swan, right. I can do that.

-Don't forget the dustpan and brush!

-Why would I need the...?

-SMASHING

-Are we having fun yet?

PHONE RINGS

Hello? Mr Motors, how can I...?

Dodger!

Our problems are over, Keithy boy. The cavalry has arrived.

-Sadie.

-Not...no!

Not until she comes back here and begs for forgiveness on bended knee

with her tail between her legs.

This is Sadie we're talking about, right?

Yeah. Anyway, forget about her.

I've got two for the price of one. Better than that.

More like half for the price of three quarters.

Boys!

BOTH: Ta da!

Better than nothing, eh?

Lads, you know you said you were bored?

Well, we're going to play a very exciting game together.

-Evils Zombie Scum 3?

-No.

Even better. Hoovering out Mrs Rice's cars, 1, 2 and 3. There we are.

Keith, these are your new arms. Boys, do whatever Keith tells you, OK?

Yes, Steve. Good.

-What does he remind you of?

-No, he can't be!

BOTH: Zombie scum!

No! No, no, no!

Plus 16 dinner plates,

plus 12 cups means the total to come out of your wages is...

Wowsers.

At least you didn't charge me for that glass ornament thingy I broke.

That was you? That was a family heirloom.

But don't worry,

not all of your wages will go towards paying for breakages.

Ah, phew. That's all right, then. Can't buy a fantastic new outfit...

-There you go.

-With nothing.

Time to hang up your apron, put on your overalls

and do what you do best, grease monkey.

This apron ain't going nowhere!

In fact, I'm sleeping in it! Sassy J doesn't quit!

The Jenkster will waitress all over you and you'll get the bill!

Sorry.

In the name of Gok! You want me to create an outfit with this?

There's got to be a way I can make more money by the end of the day.

I've got it! I breed lots of cats!

OK, even I don't know where I'm going with this.

Maybe Trog Face is right. Maybe I am just a grease monkey.

Maybe dressing up's just not my thing.

Maybe Dede should let me throw away her entire wardrobe.

Fine! Let's do it.

I was thinking emerald fascinator and gladiator sandals?

-My baby! You've come home! Are you serious?

-No.

-I will not be beaten.

-OMG! Did you see that?

Someone just gave the Trog-athon a tip!

Yeah, cos she's a good waitress and you're, you know, not.

But what have we learned from reality TV?

That you don't have to be good to be successful.

-And that dogs in bow ties are always funny!

-Brace yourselves.

I'm about to jump the fast train to Tip City.

Ta-dah! Woo-ow-wow there! Ah, thank you, sir!

I don't need a graph to tell me how many ways this could go wrong.

Don't forget to tip the waitress!

Eccellente, thank you!

Oh, thanks!

I'm here all week. Try the cheese toasties. Thank you!

-What's your game, greaseball?

-Thank you, thanks heaps! What?

Just doing my job. Rolling. Chilling. Earning maxi tips!

Chloe's the only one who gets tips round here!

-Hands off my soon-to-be-new dress, sister!

-Ow!

-What is going on?

-She took all of my tips.

-I hate her!

-Enough!

-Such silliness, over vot? Zips!

-But I need those...zips!

-From now on, all zips will go in the Zips Jar.

-But...

Zip it up. To be split equally at the end of the day.

No way! I won't stand for it!

-No, please, no more!

-No, boys, you're supposed to be helping. Stop.

-Up, out.

-What's it worth? A new game?

-All right. I'll get you a new game.

-Yes!

All right, come on, up. Here we go. Ready? One, two, three.

Have they gone?

Yeah. Along with any chance we had of getting these cars done on time.

-There's only one thing for it.

-Sadie?

No.

"Help needed. Must be over 18 and have two working arms."

No offence, Steve,

but why would someone with those qualifications one to work here?

Have a nice day, customer-type people.

Onion rings, cheeseburger and fries.

Here, let me help.

Woah, was that just teamwork?

Maybe, you know, you're not so hideous with the tray after all.

-Seriously?

-I had a bet with myself that you would last two hours, max.

But you're still here. Good job.

Looks like Chloe's seen the light, guys!

She just paid the Jenkster a compliment!

Next thing you know, we'll be a team.

-What? So, she's a little hard to handle sometimes.

-Like a grenade!

-A bit harsh.

-Harsh?!

You call her the frog face. The trog monster. The trog-athon.

Whatever. Together, we'll get this tip jar tip-top.

Has anybody actually seen Chloe put something in the jar?

Of course! She put this in two seconds ago.

That's a mint, Sass.

Ugh! A very old one!

She's been scamming me! That trog-faced trog-monster trog-athon!

Oh! That's it.

I'm officially taking my tip jar and going home.

Ah-ah-ah! At the end of the day, I said. Zules are zules.

But she's a trog-faced cheater. It's not fair!

Life isn't fair, little schnudel-face.

I told you, Miss Jenkins, you vant to vork here,

you have to get along with my darling Chloe.

Right, that's it.

I'm going to show that

bunion-breathed hair flicker who's boss.

I'm going to make Trog Face wish she'd never put on an apron.

Back in two ticks.

-But, but I ordered your burgers, I swear!

-Excuse me?

-One minute.

-Thanks!

All these orders - wrong!

But I didn't even take those orders.

Then why does it say "Chloe was 'ere" at the bottom?

Don't you see what's going on? She's trying to get me fired!

Now I have to buy more plates!

Chloe, my darling. You know I think of you as daughter.

But daughter who loses me money is no daughter of mine.

With respect, you're fired!

-I have brand new best waitress now. Sadie, come to Mama!

-Yay!

-Argh,oh!

-Chloe!

-Oh!

Result! Now I get to run this place all by myself

and get top-notch tip-top action, Easy peasy.

Oh, yeah. That bit about running this place alone?

Cheerups, three o'clock.

THEY ALL SHOUT AND ARGUE

Huh! No prob-sicles.

HE SHOUTS

O-M-G!

The Cheerups bombed out of the Cheerleading Championship Challenge

and they're A to the N to the GRY, angry.

These girlfriends ain't eaten carbs in two weeks.

If they don't get a burger in three seconds, someone's going down.

Relax! I can handle a bunch of girls in pink polyester.

You heard what Mama V said. I'm the new best waitress!

Right. I know you lost and I know you're hungry.

But if we deal with this in an orderly manner,

everyone gets what they want.

OK, who ordered the chilli cheeseburger with double bacon

-and a side order of beef?

-ALL: Me!

Miss Jenkins, chop, chop, chop!

Bit busy waitressing, Miss V. No time to chop things as well.

Miss Jenkins, this is a disaster! We need order!

Oi! Animals! You need to learn some manners! You want it?

Too late, losers! Mm-mm-mm!

THEY SCREAM

OK, maybe I went a bit too far.

That does not look good in pink polyester.

This new game Dad got us, it's not quite Evil Zombie Scum III, is it?

I don't know. I'm kind of getting into it.

Tiddly!

Sadie, my darling. You know I think of you as daughter.

But daughter who trashes my diner and loses me money is no daughter of mine. With respect...

I know, I'm fired.

Which is why I had no option but to get my old best waitress back, Chloe.

Aw. Don't worry, Sass.

You can borrow something of mine for dress-down Friday.

Yup, just your size!

Sass! You look terrible.

-It kind of didn't work out at the Y.

-Really?

We're great here, really great, excellent.

-Really?

-Oh, yes, yes.

Got my new work bench. And already done three cars.

Only another ten to go.

I guess you don't need me, then?

No, no, no, we're like a well-oiled machine here.

PHONE RINGS

Don't answer that. Mrs Rice. Please, don't...

Hello, Mister Motors?

Mrs Rice! Delayed? Not at all.

We are so happy to have your business,

we want to make everything tip-top.

So, how about we get the cars done by, ooh, tomorrow?

Okey-dokey.

Tomorrow? She never told me there was a tomorrow.

I guess I just have a knack.

-But like you said, you don't need anyone, so...

-Exactly.

I don't need anyone.

When can you start?

We'll get these bad boys fixed in no time, Dadster.

-So, how about a new outfit?

-No!

-Worth a try, right?

You know, Sass? I don't care what those kids at school say.

I think you look beautiful. Even in these old overalls.

Yes...I...do!

Thanks, Dad!

Guys, I need some help here. Guys!

Can we hurry this up, please?

Yes, just because it's dress-down Friday

doesn't mean we have to be late for school.

OK, big reveal on three. One, two, ta-dah!

I thought even you could count to three.

It's called making an entrance. BTW. What did we do here?

It's my dress-down Friday outfit. School uniform, but without the tie.

I knew you'd pull a stunt like this. Luckily I was prepared. Twist.

Aaaaah!

I broke into your locker yesterday, and the rest is fashion history.

-You are welcome.

-Could someone count to three, please?

Oh, sorry Sass. One, two, three!

# Don't matter what you wear... #

Whaddya think? C to the double-O L.

No to the O, it's total drabsville!

Kit! You don't always have to dress up to dress down.

But a little bit of zing never hurt a girl.

So, what can I get you?

I'll have the chilli cha-cha burger with fries, no mayo,

extra cheese, non-dairy, and relish on the side.

Oh, and hold the peppers...

I'd like a falafel and feta kebab, hold the cottage cheese,

a double wheat-grass and a

banana boat floater and a side order of chunky monkey fries.

Give me a Swiss roll on a Swiss plate,

a lo-cal, high-energy medium hot bread and butter pudding.

Hold the bread but go crazy with the butter.

Topped off with a non-fat lactose-free triple mocha glory.

Did you get that? Cos we're so not saying it again.

What? You didn't think we'd let her get off that easily, did you?