Jazperilliant Sadie J


Jazperilliant

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0:55:500:55:57

Ex-squeezez-moi, gossip girls. Kitty Kat coming through.

0:56:010:56:04

Miss V, bring me my usual.

0:56:040:56:07

-And vat vould zat be, sir?

-You forgot?

0:56:070:56:10

I've been coming here since I was knee-high to a bobby sock.

0:56:100:56:14

I would never forget something that important about...

0:56:140:56:16

-Did you change your hair?

-It's not Miss V, you muppet!

0:56:190:56:22

I am Jazper. Ze nephew of Miss V.

0:56:220:56:24

I'm here in ze big city, with the bright lights,

0:56:240:56:26

for my one and only school break all year round.

0:56:260:56:28

Er...no way! HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

0:56:280:56:31

So what's Auntie V treating you to?

0:56:310:56:33

Nothink. She is DJing in Magaluf.

0:56:330:56:36

And she has left me

0:56:370:56:39

to vork here all day every day for duration of her stay.

0:56:390:56:41

-That's...er...

-Weird? Cruel? Totally disrespectful to me?

0:56:410:56:46

-Nice.

-Isn't it? Ve have saying back in Klypota.

0:56:460:56:50

Give a child ze job of men, and he vill become one.

0:56:500:56:53

Unless it involves heavy machinery, when it is likely to cause accident.

0:56:530:56:56

Well, luckily for you, you'll be here to witness my bodacious birthday.

0:56:560:57:00

I'm turning fiercely 14 the day after tomorrow.

0:57:000:57:03

JAZPER SPEAKS GIBBERISH

0:57:030:57:05

-Huh?

-It means happy birthday in Klypotan.

0:57:050:57:08

-Kit!

-You're going to be 14?

0:57:090:57:10

Wow. I hope you've done the "things to do before you're 14" list.

0:57:100:57:13

-Kit, there's...

-I'm doing it today, actually. As soon as Sadie turns up.

0:57:130:57:17

She's my witness.

0:57:170:57:18

And, yes, she's completed the list, cos...

0:57:180:57:20

-BOTH:

-You can't be a witness unless you've done the list, yes?

0:57:200:57:23

Please don't freak out, but Sadie got a last-minute chance

0:57:230:57:26

-to go skydiving with her aunt in Aberdeen.

-Yeeeeeesssss!

0:57:260:57:28

-Noooooooo!

-Calm down!

0:57:280:57:31

Sadie said I should be her for the week

0:57:310:57:33

and do whatever she was supposed to do instead.

0:57:330:57:36

Oh, my Lady Gaga! You want me to be your list witness!

0:57:360:57:39

But I haven't even done the list.

0:57:390:57:41

Then you'll have to do it.

0:57:410:57:42

Because, if you don't do it, I can't do it,

0:57:420:57:44

which means I can't turn 14 with any self-respecting...self-respect.

0:57:440:57:48

-This is priceless.

-I might as well hang up my sparkly salopettes,

0:57:480:57:52

stop wearing hats at a jaunty angle

0:57:520:57:54

and put on a one-size-fits-all plain T and move to Bangor.

0:57:540:57:57

Is that what you want?!

0:57:570:57:59

OK, OK, I'll do the list!

0:57:590:58:01

You will? Oh, Deeds!

0:58:010:58:03

Really? That would be the best birthday pressie ever.

0:58:030:58:07

-What are BFFs for, right?

-Coolio.

0:58:070:58:09

In that case, I'll be YOUR witness.

0:58:090:58:12

I seriously want to be there when the Deedlebug fails.

0:58:120:58:15

I'm not going to fail. I never fail. I'm unable to fail.

0:58:150:58:19

Now, give me the list.

0:58:190:58:21

SHE STARTS TO HYPERVENTILATE

0:58:250:58:28

Now I know why Sadie says this all the time. Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!

0:58:290:58:33

# Won't somebody tell me why I'm always surrounded by boys?

0:58:330:58:38

# Give me a break

0:58:380:58:40

# They've got attitude Kind of cute

0:58:400:58:43

# But when they're in trouble Tricks are good

0:58:430:58:46

# To save the day, to save the day

0:58:460:58:48

# I'd love another girl Around the place

0:58:480:58:50

# Could you be her?

0:58:500:58:51

# Someone to back me up so I always

0:58:510:58:54

# Have the last word

0:58:540:58:55

# I guess it's hard To be the only girl

0:58:550:58:58

# In a boys' world

0:58:580:59:01

# Girl, girl In a boys'...

0:59:010:59:05

# I know I'm strong because I've got a positive

0:59:050:59:07

# Mental attitude

0:59:070:59:08

# Understanding, kind of sensitive

0:59:080:59:11

# Don't want gratitude

0:59:110:59:12

# I just don't wanna be The only girl

0:59:120:59:15

# In a boys' world. #

0:59:150:59:18

Hey, no dawdling. We've got a lot of work to do today in that garage.

0:59:190:59:23

-On my way.

-Right, hold that.

0:59:230:59:25

I don't know if you realise this,

0:59:260:59:27

but we've got a deadline for Mr Flurry Pops.

0:59:270:59:30

I know. Because nobody wants an overheated ice-cream van.

0:59:300:59:33

No. So get me Roger's food, his lead and the cereal.

0:59:330:59:36

Good. If we don't get this done this afternoon,

0:59:380:59:41

we are on very thin ice.

0:59:410:59:44

In fact, scrap that.

0:59:440:59:47

We're on melted ice.

0:59:470:59:50

-Steve, are you stressed?

-Why, why, why are you saying that?!

0:59:510:59:54

You've put the bed sheet in the fridge,

0:59:540:59:56

you've given Danny and Jake Beefy Bony Bites for breakfast

0:59:560:59:59

-and you're taking the chair for a walk.

-Oh...

0:59:591:00:01

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just missing Sadie, that's all. You know?

1:00:011:00:07

She doesn't do a lot, but she does enough.

1:00:071:00:09

Yeah, Sadie said you'd be like this.

1:00:091:00:11

-Really?

-Yeah. That's why she said I should be her for the weekend,

1:00:111:00:15

step up to the plate.

1:00:151:00:17

Or...bowl.

1:00:171:00:18

Sort out some proper breakfast while I get started on the van.

1:00:181:00:21

-What about Roger?

-Chillax.

1:00:211:00:23

Sadie's put the boys in charge of him. All right?

1:00:231:00:26

All right.

1:00:261:00:28

Here... I like this new Keith.

1:00:281:00:30

Never underestimate the power of the Keith-meister.

1:00:301:00:34

Cos he's actually a lot more in control than you think.

1:00:341:00:37

-Ninja to your right!

-Eat Samurai sword, Ninja fiend!

-Ninja up above!

1:00:451:00:49

I'll take you down and show you who is master of this temple!

1:00:491:00:52

Ninja to your left!

1:00:521:00:54

-Dad!

-What are you shouting at me for? You spilled the breakfast.

1:00:541:00:58

You almost lost us out on the Shinto Temple of Honiwojinja!

1:00:581:01:02

The what?

1:01:021:01:03

The leader of the ancient warlord clan? Gogimakazhu!

1:01:031:01:07

Waka-who? Whatever.

1:01:071:01:08

A little birdie tells me that you are supposed to be...

1:01:081:01:12

Sadie for the week. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Yes, we know.

1:01:121:01:15

"You've got to take care of Roger."

1:01:151:01:18

-Which we will do, once we've stormed...

-The Shinto Temple of...

1:01:181:01:21

Oi!

1:01:211:01:23

Right, now, he needs food, a walk and a wash.

1:01:231:01:26

Until then, no more...knicky knacky winja woja ninja...whatever.

1:01:261:01:30

-But you don't understand!

-No, YOU don't understand.

1:01:301:01:33

You've got a duty to this dog. You're being irresponsible.

1:01:331:01:36

-But...that game is addictive!

-We need it!

1:01:361:01:39

No. Not as much as he NEEDS a wash.

1:01:391:01:43

Sorry. It's number seven on the list thingy.

1:01:501:01:52

I have to steal something.

1:01:521:01:55

Tick.

1:01:551:01:56

Please accept this new milkshake

1:01:561:01:59

as a replacement for the one that I stole.

1:01:591:02:03

And as an extra thank-you...

1:02:031:02:05

-What are you doing?

-Ha! In your face, girlfriend. Dede's on fire.

1:02:071:02:12

Yeah! A big cheating fire.

1:02:121:02:14

Nuh-uh. I'm just doing everything on the list...

1:02:141:02:17

Dede-style.

1:02:171:02:19

No-one said it wasn't open to interpretation.

1:02:191:02:21

Ooh, time to do number three.

1:02:211:02:24

E-mail in homework late.

1:02:241:02:26

Three seconds late!

1:02:261:02:28

-W-what are you doing?

-Number five. Dancing like nobody's watching.

1:02:311:02:37

That's because nobody IS watching!

1:02:371:02:40

I am.

1:02:401:02:41

Oh, well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

1:02:411:02:45

BRUNO MARS: # And when you smile... #

1:02:451:02:49

May I have the next dance?

1:02:511:02:53

You have not lived until you have seen my chicken feet.

1:02:531:02:56

It is traditional Klypotan dance.

1:02:561:02:58

Sorry, I'm kind of busy right now.

1:02:581:03:00

When I do it back in Klypota, it makes my best friend Vorkel

1:03:001:03:04

roll over in the mud and tinkle himself!

1:03:041:03:07

-He is a pig.

-GRUNTING

1:03:071:03:10

Right. Can we please get this show on the road?

1:03:101:03:13

I'm bungee jumping in five.

1:03:131:03:15

Off a five foot pole, natch.

1:03:151:03:17

-Fine. Whatevs.

-Good luck, Deeds.

1:03:171:03:20

Remember it's my b-day in one day

1:03:201:03:22

so the sooner you can finish the list the sooner I can start.

1:03:221:03:26

Zere you go.

1:03:261:03:29

Oh, silly me. You did not order the fries, did you?

1:03:291:03:32

Oh, no. They are mine. Didn't Miss V tell you?

1:03:321:03:35

I always get extra fries on...Extra Fries Friday.

1:03:351:03:41

-Seriously?

-Mm-hm.

1:03:411:03:43

I'm so sorry for the mixup.

1:03:431:03:44

You must remind me of these British idiosyncrasies, Mr Karter.

1:03:441:03:49

No, I couldn't.

1:03:491:03:51

Could I?

1:03:511:03:53

And zere is ze Vagon Vheel pizza viz posh potato skins.

1:03:541:03:58

You certainly get a lot of extras on a Friday, Mr Karter.

1:03:581:04:02

You should wait and see what I get on a Saturday.

1:04:021:04:06

Like taking candy from a baby.

1:04:061:04:09

Actually, you forgot my candy.

1:04:101:04:12

Right, here's the plan.

1:04:151:04:17

Feed Roger, wash Roger, take Roger for a walk,

1:04:171:04:20

which will dry him off,

1:04:201:04:22

and if we limit it to T minus 10 minutes per task

1:04:221:04:25

we should be back on the couch playing Ninja Warlord by...erm...

1:04:251:04:28

Really quickly. Are you with me?

1:04:301:04:33

This thing is enormous.

1:04:331:04:35

There's no way of tipping it into his boooooowwwwlll!

1:04:351:04:39

-Man down!

-Man up, more like!

1:04:391:04:42

What did you think this scoop was for, you melon head?

1:04:431:04:46

A jaunty little doggy hat?

1:04:461:04:48

-Well, at least he's eating it.

-True.

1:04:481:04:52

Feed Roger, tick.

1:04:521:04:53

Right, I'll go get the doggy shampoo and you turn on the S-H-O-W-E-R.

1:04:531:04:59

Turn on the show...er.

1:04:591:05:02

Not the show-er, the S-H-O-W-E-R.

1:05:021:05:08

-The drippy thing in the bathroom that gets you clean.

-Ah, the...

1:05:101:05:13

Don't even think about saying it.

1:05:131:05:16

This is one of the dirtiest dogs in town. And that's how he likes it.

1:05:161:05:19

-One mention of you-know-what and he'll be off like a shot.

-Ah, gotcha.

1:05:191:05:23

Hmm! Peach and passionfruit pooch wash. Nice!

1:05:251:05:30

And how about a little bit of coconut canine conditioner?

1:05:301:05:33

-We'll have you silky smooth in no time, Rog.

-Shower's ready!

1:05:331:05:37

ROGER BARKS

1:05:371:05:40

Come on. Come on, you blighter.

1:05:431:05:46

Oh!

1:05:461:05:48

Oh, three-inch wrench, please.

1:05:481:05:50

-No way!

-Excuse me?

-This is Ninja Warlord Five.

1:05:501:05:53

The Shinto Temple of Honiwojinja!

1:05:531:05:57

The only VG to get six stars on the VG five-star chart.

1:05:571:06:01

Nope, nope, you lost me at "Shinto".

1:06:011:06:05

Hello.

1:06:051:06:06

Can I have a three-inch wrench, please?

1:06:061:06:09

-Ain't it lunchtime yet?

-Forget about lunch.

1:06:101:06:13

-Have you seen the state of this thing?

-Not even a cold one?

1:06:131:06:16

Don't even think about it.

1:06:161:06:18

I tell you, two hours and that lot is going to be ice-cream soup.

1:06:181:06:21

You know, boss, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

1:06:211:06:24

-Oh, yeah? What's your excuse, then?

-I'm serious.

1:06:241:06:27

You can't keep pushing yourself like this, you'll burn yourself out.

1:06:271:06:31

And burnout leads to freakout, girlfriend.

1:06:311:06:34

Are you reading Sadie's Girltastic magazine again?

1:06:341:06:37

Well, I can't read Flat Tyres Fortnightly all the time, can I?

1:06:371:06:42

Look, it says here, no matter how deadly the deadline is,

1:06:421:06:46

if we don't take regular breaks our work is likely to suffer.

1:06:461:06:50

BANG!

1:06:501:06:52

Just like that.

1:06:521:06:53

-Put the kettle on.

-I've got a way better idea.

1:06:561:07:00

-Ninja at your back.

-Oh, kick that Ninja scum.

-Ninja on the floor.

1:07:011:07:05

Feel the wrath of the master of the temple.

1:07:051:07:08

-How good is this, boss?

-Oh, it's pretty awesome.

1:07:091:07:13

Tell me about it. Even beats Sadie's skydiving, I bet.

1:07:131:07:16

Aaaaaarrrggghhh!

1:07:161:07:19

Possibly.

1:07:191:07:20

Told you it was good, didn't I?

1:07:201:07:22

-ALARM BELL SOUNDS

-Oops.

1:07:221:07:23

-Better get back to Mr Flurry Pops.

-Ooh, not so fast.

1:07:231:07:27

We've only just broken through the defences of Hokinokasuuuuu.

1:07:271:07:33

Is it true?! Is it true?!

1:07:371:07:39

Hello, Mum?

1:07:391:07:41

That nice dress you wore to Sadie's barbecue last week

1:07:411:07:44

was ruined by that frankly hideous cardigan.

1:07:441:07:46

So I'm saving up to buy you a new one for your b-day.

1:07:471:07:50

See you at dinner!

1:07:501:07:51

Number 13. Tell someone an uncomfortable home truth. Done.

1:07:521:07:57

And, yes, it's true, I've just completed the list,

1:07:571:08:00

in record time with nil fails.

1:08:001:08:04

Care to verify?

1:08:041:08:05

OMG, Deeds, you are officially a-to-the-mazing.

1:08:051:08:09

Now you can watch me do exactly what you did all over again.

1:08:091:08:13

-Yay...

-You don't know how much this means to me.

1:08:131:08:16

If I had turned 14 without completing

1:08:161:08:18

that "things to do before you're 14" list,

1:08:181:08:20

I think I'd collapse. Like, literally.

1:08:201:08:22

Yeah, good on you, Deeds!

1:08:221:08:24

Oh, look. There's one more you still haven't done.

1:08:241:08:30

Number 14. Go on a date with someone and kiss them?!

1:08:301:08:35

Oh, no. No way.

1:08:351:08:37

The Deedster doesn't do that. The Dede no do-do. Cos I don't!

1:08:371:08:42

Captain Skylo is the only man for me. It's impossible.

1:08:421:08:46

Oh! Kit!

1:08:461:08:48

Just leave me here at 13.

1:08:481:08:50

I'm no use to anyone after tomorrow if I haven't completed that list.

1:08:501:08:53

That's ridiculous. Tell him how ridiculous that is.

1:08:531:08:56

Actually I think he's got a fair point.

1:08:561:08:59

Where am I supposed to find a boy to go on a date with, and kiss, today?

1:08:591:09:03

-BOTH:

-Never going to happen.

1:09:041:09:07

Chillax. Friends don't count anyway.

1:09:071:09:10

-You'll have to find someone else.

-But there IS no-one else.

1:09:101:09:14

-One extra choca-loca-sha-da shake, for Extra Fries Friday.

-Thank you.

1:09:141:09:18

Can I get you anything, Miss Baxter?

1:09:181:09:20

One dinner date with a side order of mwah, mwah, mwah!

1:09:201:09:25

Roger! Roger!

1:09:301:09:33

Have you definitely checked in the garage

1:09:331:09:35

and the garden and the greenhouse, yeah?

1:09:351:09:37

Yeah. You checked on the stairs,

1:09:371:09:38

under the stairs and on top of the stairs?

1:09:381:09:40

Yeah. You know what this means, don't you?

1:09:401:09:43

We're never going to get back to Ninja Warlord today.

1:09:431:09:45

Roger has left the building.

1:09:451:09:48

-And that means?

-He'll be halfway to Scotland by now.

1:09:481:09:51

-Argh!

-BOTH: Roger! Roger!

1:09:511:09:54

-No, I can't do it.

-Don't even think about letting me down, Deeds.

1:09:591:10:02

Sadie would do it and you promised to be her for the week.

1:10:021:10:05

Are you kidding me? Sadie never does anything she doesn't want to do.

1:10:051:10:09

But it's my birthday! My special day. It's not like you get one every year.

1:10:091:10:13

You're SO going to owe me for this, you know that?

1:10:131:10:16

Thanks, Deeds. You can have anything you like.

1:10:161:10:18

Absolutely anything. Though my Gaga collection is off limits

1:10:181:10:21

and my pocket money goes off to pay a rather large Lily Allen debt.

1:10:211:10:24

-What?

-I know, she's SO over.

1:10:241:10:27

But like many misguided memento hunters,

1:10:271:10:29

I thought she was in it for the long haul.

1:10:291:10:32

-Deedlebug.

-Ashlii. Er, Jazper, can I have a word?

1:10:341:10:38

HE SPEAKS IN HIS OWN LANGUAGE

1:10:381:10:40

-It means yes.

-How verbally cumbersome.

-Thank you.

1:10:431:10:48

Enough of the flirting, Deeds. Get on with it.

1:10:481:10:50

I was wondering if maybe...

1:10:501:10:54

-And you can totally say no...

-No, he can't. Sorry.

1:10:541:10:59

If you'd like to go on a date with me.

1:10:591:11:02

I'm not that hideous, am I?

1:11:051:11:07

-Well, now you ask...

-Of course I will go on a date with you!

1:11:071:11:11

Yes, yes and another yes!

1:11:111:11:14

I'll take that as a yes, then!

1:11:141:11:16

I promise you, this will be the best date in the history of the world.

1:11:161:11:20

Oh, no. You don't have to go to any trouble. Like, really.

1:11:201:11:24

I mean, look at us now, standing here,

1:11:241:11:26

together, in a cafe. We're practically on a date right now.

1:11:261:11:30

In fact, if you just pecked me on the cheek before I go,

1:11:301:11:35

-we might not even have to go on a date.

-Uh-uh-uh.

1:11:351:11:39

You are hilarious, Miss Baxter.

1:11:391:11:43

One cannot be on a date without ze beautiful, billowing bunting.

1:11:431:11:47

And ze harp tinkling and tonkling in the breeze.

1:11:471:11:51

Tinkle, tonkle. Tinkle, tonkle.

1:11:511:11:53

Tinkle, tonkle.

1:11:531:11:55

And a large goat fizzing on the spit.

1:11:551:11:57

Goat - very important in Klypotian culture.

1:11:571:12:01

That sounds beyond. You are one lucky girl, Deedster.

1:12:021:12:07

I know! Why don't I book you a booth here?

1:12:071:12:11

-Make it even more romantique!

-ALL: Yes!

1:12:111:12:15

No! I mean, erm, fine.

1:12:151:12:19

Just, no bunting. Or tinkling. Or goat fizzing.

1:12:191:12:23

And definitely no romantique.

1:12:231:12:26

Just a normal, low-key date, with a shakalaka shake.

1:12:261:12:31

And maybe some curly fries.

1:12:311:12:32

As you wish. There will just be shakes and curly fries.

1:12:321:12:36

And then, I will sing a specially composed love song for you.

1:12:361:12:40

We can dance the chicken feet dance together.

1:12:401:12:43

See you at seven!

1:12:431:12:46

PHONE RINGS

1:12:521:12:55

If we're going to breach this temple,

1:12:551:12:58

we're going to have to embrace the way of the samurai.

1:12:581:13:01

-Yeah, but boss...

-From now on, I'm not your boss.

1:13:011:13:04

-I'm your sensei.

-You're not a sensei.

1:13:041:13:07

-We've been here for...

-Ooh, come on!

1:13:071:13:09

Let's teach these Ninja hordes a lesson!

1:13:091:13:12

HE SCREAMS

1:13:121:13:15

That's what I'm talking about.

1:13:191:13:21

You can almost smell victory. It smells a bit like...

1:13:211:13:25

BOTH: ..burnt ice-cream.

1:13:261:13:28

PHONE RINGS

1:13:281:13:30

Oh, no! Why did you not remind me about Mr Flurrypops?

1:13:321:13:37

I've been trying to tell you,

1:13:371:13:38

but you were too wrapped up in that stupid game.

1:13:381:13:41

That game is not stupid. It's just incredibly addictive.

1:13:411:13:45

I don't believe it. The boys were right.

1:13:451:13:48

I don't believe it. Dad was right. We ARE totally irresponsible.

1:13:481:13:53

Don't give up so easily, Danny boy.

1:13:531:13:55

It ain't over till the fat lady sings.

1:13:551:13:57

She sang two hours ago and caught the bus home, you melon head.

1:13:571:14:00

Get with the programme, Jakey boy. We've looked all over town.

1:14:001:14:04

-Roger is gone.

-Oh, no!

1:14:041:14:07

What's Sadie going to say when she gets back from skydiving?

1:14:071:14:10

No-o-o-o-o!

1:14:101:14:12

-Doesn't bear thinking about.

-Oh, loveable, smelly old Roger.

1:14:121:14:17

Good, kind, smelly old Roger.

1:14:171:14:21

Are you crying?

1:14:241:14:26

No. You?

1:14:261:14:29

-Hey, Jazper.

-Hey, Dede.

1:14:371:14:40

Oh, my Gaga!

1:14:401:14:43

I know this British turn of phrase. It means hurrah, yes?

1:14:431:14:46

-That's one interpretation.

-I am so glad you are happy with it.

1:14:461:14:50

I thought you did not want a fuss, but Ashlii said you did.

1:14:501:14:53

I bet she did.

1:14:531:14:55

That's why I have pushed out the strudelboat.

1:14:551:14:58

No way.

1:14:581:15:00

-Way.

-Hang on. Isn't that...?

1:15:001:15:03

Moi? I'm here for moral support, Deeds. Obvs. Look, no hands!

1:15:031:15:08

Now close. It doesn't matter how much of a nerd he is,

1:15:101:15:14

nobody wants to kiss a mothball mouth.

1:15:141:15:16

Actually, it's just going to be a tiny peck.

1:15:161:15:19

Care to take a seat, Miss Baxter?

1:15:191:15:21

Erm, bring-bring, bring-bring! Sorry, that's me.

1:15:231:15:29

Hello, Mum? Oh, no! Granny Baxter's ill?

1:15:291:15:33

And she wants me to visit her, like, really, really soon?

1:15:331:15:37

But I'm on a date. I couldn't possibly... Be there in five.

1:15:371:15:41

-What is she playing at?

-It's all part of the plan. I hope.

1:15:411:15:46

Sorry, looks like we're going to have to wrap things up.

1:15:461:15:49

Granny B's been stung by a bee.

1:15:491:15:53

Oh, poor old woman.

1:15:531:15:54

But Miss Summers hasn't brought out the dinner platters yet.

1:15:541:15:57

In Klypota, dates take place over six separate courses.

1:15:571:16:00

Plus dessert. And strudel cheese.

1:16:001:16:03

Yeah, I might have to skip dessert. And courses two through six.

1:16:031:16:07

Maybe we should just kiss goodbye now.

1:16:071:16:09

-Told you.

-What a shame.

1:16:091:16:12

I was so hoping we could enjoy a lively discussion over dinner

1:16:121:16:15

about such interesting subjects as

1:16:151:16:17

the origins of the chicken feet dance

1:16:171:16:19

or why my pet piglet will always shimmy to Susan Boyle,

1:16:191:16:23

or which episode of Space Cargo is the most thrilling.

1:16:231:16:26

BELL TINGS

1:16:261:16:28

What? YOU like Space Cargo? Me, too!

1:16:281:16:33

Yes. This is why I am so glad Auntie V invited me to look after Y Diner.

1:16:331:16:37

Here, I can watch endless reruns of the show.

1:16:371:16:40

At home, Mama's always nagging.

1:16:401:16:43

"Go outside and wear hoodie like normal teenager."

1:16:431:16:45

But we ARE normal teenagers.

1:16:451:16:47

Exactly. Teenagers who know where Captain Scarlo

1:16:471:16:50

gets his infinite power source.

1:16:501:16:52

BOTH: The Rock of Cargozinian.

1:16:521:16:54

THEY LAUGH

1:16:541:16:58

You're not going to believe this,

1:16:581:16:59

but I actually own one of the original rock props

1:16:591:17:01

used in the first series.

1:17:011:17:03

I don't believe it!

1:17:031:17:04

I queued for 17 hours just to get into the auction

1:17:041:17:08

for one of those rocks and I didn't even get a pebble.

1:17:081:17:10

I want to hear all about how you got it.

1:17:101:17:12

-Well...

-Wait, what about your sick grandmother?

1:17:121:17:15

-Pah, she'll get over it.

-No, no, no. You must go.

1:17:151:17:18

Er, ping! Oh, yay! She's better.

1:17:181:17:22

Ah, OK.

1:17:221:17:23

Hang on, I have a special shakalaka shara shake for us to share.

1:17:231:17:27

Let me fetch.

1:17:271:17:29

-Deeds, what gives?

-You better get a move on.

1:17:291:17:32

Chillax, guys. I may have thought Jazper was a total nerdaloid,

1:17:321:17:36

who I'd only ever kiss cos of that stupid list,

1:17:361:17:39

but he's actually a really nice guy AND he likes Space Cargo.

1:17:391:17:44

Can you believe, the thought of kissing him

1:17:441:17:46

doesn't make me feel physically sick anymore?

1:17:461:17:49

He's right behind me, isn't he?

1:17:491:17:51

I expected more from you, Miss Baxter. This date is finished.

1:17:511:17:57

Dad?

1:18:031:18:05

Danny.

1:18:071:18:08

There's something you should know, Mr Jenkins.

1:18:081:18:11

-I've got something to tell you boys, too.

-You first.

1:18:111:18:14

-No, you.

-You.

1:18:141:18:17

-Rock, paper, scissors?

-Get on with it!

1:18:171:18:20

I've got addicted to Ninja Warlord and I've done all the levels.

1:18:211:18:24

We tried looking after Roger, but we lost him.

1:18:241:18:26

-You've lost Roger?

-You played every level on Ninja Warlord?

1:18:261:18:29

-Do you know how serious this is?

-Do YOU know how serious this is?

1:18:291:18:32

I can never play that game again now that it's been done.

1:18:321:18:35

You have lost a member of our family.

1:18:351:18:38

OK, you win. But you don't understand!

1:18:401:18:43

We tried our best, we really did.

1:18:431:18:45

-Er, Danny...

-No, let me say this.

1:18:451:18:48

-Mate...

-One sec, Keith.

1:18:481:18:50

We gave our all to that dog. We fed him.

1:18:501:18:53

I got coconut canine conditioner out especially just to wash him.

1:18:531:18:56

And as Jakey boy here as my witness,

1:18:561:18:58

Roger was just sitting there like that and then, he disappeared.

1:18:581:19:03

HE SOBS

1:19:031:19:06

ROGER PANTS

1:19:081:19:12

Roger?

1:19:121:19:14

We'll just be, erm, going.

1:19:161:19:20

Yes, you do that.

1:19:201:19:22

PHONE RINGS

1:19:301:19:31

I thought I told you not to call me again.

1:19:311:19:34

Yes, but that was then and this is now. Things change.

1:19:341:19:37

In three minutes?

1:19:371:19:38

Look, Deeds, before you hang up, again,

1:19:381:19:41

I just wanted you to know that it's not the end of the world

1:19:411:19:43

and that we can get through this together as BFFs and best buds.

1:19:431:19:47

I guess. Thanks, Kit.

1:19:471:19:49

So, how do you feel about a tete-a-tete

1:19:491:19:52

or more accurately, a date-a-date, with Liam Higgins?

1:19:521:19:54

He's happy for you to kiss him on the cheek for a Supercon comic,

1:19:541:19:58

whatever that is.

1:19:581:19:59

The point being that you finish your list and I start mine tout de suite.

1:19:591:20:03

Don't you get it? That stupid, pointless, imbecilic list

1:20:031:20:07

is what got me into all this trouble in the first place!

1:20:071:20:10

I hurt Jazper because of it, because of you.

1:20:101:20:13

-In fact, this is all your fault.

-OMLG, Deeds, I am such an idiot.

1:20:131:20:17

Too right! You're the idiot's idiot. King Idiot.

1:20:171:20:21

President of the Idotonians.

1:20:211:20:23

You're right, I have to do something to make it up to Jazper.

1:20:231:20:26

No, don't you dare do anything. You've done enough damage as it is.

1:20:261:20:30

All new Kitty Kat coming through. Make way for change.

1:20:351:20:39

Have you gone totally bonkerlicious?

1:20:391:20:41

Chillax, Jaz. I'm doing this for your benefit.

1:20:431:20:46

-I'm not feeling it.

-Attenzione, Y diners!

1:20:461:20:49

I think most of you here are familiar

1:20:491:20:53

with the Things To Do Before You're 14 list my BFF Dede agreed to do,

1:20:531:20:56

just so she could be my list witness.

1:20:561:20:59

And she hates it. And do you know what? She's right.

1:20:591:21:02

The list is stupid... THEY GASP

1:21:021:21:04

..pointless... THEY GASP

1:21:041:21:06

-..and imbeklinic.

-ALL: What?

1:21:061:21:08

-Imbecilic.

-That's the one.

1:21:081:21:10

You heard me. Dede ended up hurting...someone.

1:21:111:21:15

Someone she would never have willingly hurt

1:21:151:21:18

if I hadn't forced her into it

1:21:181:21:19

which is why I wanted to say a big heartfelt sorry to you, Jazper.

1:21:191:21:23

I hope you can forgive us. The list is officially dissed.

1:21:231:21:28

THEY CHEER

1:21:321:21:35

-That was very big of you, Kit.

-It was, wasn't it?

1:21:351:21:39

Of course I forgive you.

1:21:391:21:40

Don't listen to a word he says.

1:21:431:21:44

OK, I know I totally messed up and you'll probably never forgive me.

1:21:441:21:48

Actually, Deeds...

1:21:481:21:50

-Let me finish. I want him to know how terrible I feel.

-But, Deeds...

1:21:501:21:53

Zip it, Kit. And the only way I could think of making it up to you

1:21:531:21:56

was to give you this.

1:21:561:21:58

-The Rock of Cargozinian!

-Could you possibly forgive me?

1:21:581:22:01

But I have already forgiven you. Kit explained everything

1:22:011:22:04

and I realise you do it cos you're a pure-hearted, wonderful person.

1:22:041:22:07

Well, if you've already forgiven me...

1:22:071:22:11

I mean, it's a prized piece in my collection.

1:22:111:22:14

So, if you don't mind, I'll...

1:22:141:22:16

Nothing. Enjoy the rock.

1:22:161:22:18

Thank you, Miss Baxter.

1:22:231:22:24

OMLG, Deeds. Jazper just kissed you!

1:22:261:22:29

-I know!

-Which means you've completed the list. Which means I can...

1:22:291:22:31

Don't even go there.

1:22:311:22:33

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:22:511:22:54

There you go, Mr Karter.

1:22:541:22:57

Extra strudel sausage on Extra Strudel Sausage Saturday

1:22:571:22:59

along with extra shakes and schnitzels.

1:22:591:23:02

Oh, and I almost forgot,

1:23:031:23:05

an extra large bill for all the extras.

1:23:051:23:08

You what?! But...

1:23:081:23:10

Don't worry.

1:23:101:23:11

You've got until Time To Pay Up Tuesday to settle the bill.

1:23:111:23:14

No!

1:23:171:23:18

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