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Ex-squeezez-moi, gossip girls. Kitty Kat coming through. | 0:56:01 | 0:56:04 | |
Miss V, bring me my usual. | 0:56:04 | 0:56:07 | |
-And vat vould zat be, sir? -You forgot? | 0:56:07 | 0:56:10 | |
I've been coming here since I was knee-high to a bobby sock. | 0:56:10 | 0:56:14 | |
I would never forget something that important about... | 0:56:14 | 0:56:16 | |
-Did you change your hair? -It's not Miss V, you muppet! | 0:56:19 | 0:56:22 | |
I am Jazper. Ze nephew of Miss V. | 0:56:22 | 0:56:24 | |
I'm here in ze big city, with the bright lights, | 0:56:24 | 0:56:26 | |
for my one and only school break all year round. | 0:56:26 | 0:56:28 | |
Er...no way! HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY | 0:56:28 | 0:56:31 | |
So what's Auntie V treating you to? | 0:56:31 | 0:56:33 | |
Nothink. She is DJing in Magaluf. | 0:56:33 | 0:56:36 | |
And she has left me | 0:56:37 | 0:56:39 | |
to vork here all day every day for duration of her stay. | 0:56:39 | 0:56:41 | |
-That's...er... -Weird? Cruel? Totally disrespectful to me? | 0:56:41 | 0:56:46 | |
-Nice. -Isn't it? Ve have saying back in Klypota. | 0:56:46 | 0:56:50 | |
Give a child ze job of men, and he vill become one. | 0:56:50 | 0:56:53 | |
Unless it involves heavy machinery, when it is likely to cause accident. | 0:56:53 | 0:56:56 | |
Well, luckily for you, you'll be here to witness my bodacious birthday. | 0:56:56 | 0:57:00 | |
I'm turning fiercely 14 the day after tomorrow. | 0:57:00 | 0:57:03 | |
JAZPER SPEAKS GIBBERISH | 0:57:03 | 0:57:05 | |
-Huh? -It means happy birthday in Klypotan. | 0:57:05 | 0:57:08 | |
-Kit! -You're going to be 14? | 0:57:09 | 0:57:10 | |
Wow. I hope you've done the "things to do before you're 14" list. | 0:57:10 | 0:57:13 | |
-Kit, there's... -I'm doing it today, actually. As soon as Sadie turns up. | 0:57:13 | 0:57:17 | |
She's my witness. | 0:57:17 | 0:57:18 | |
And, yes, she's completed the list, cos... | 0:57:18 | 0:57:20 | |
-BOTH: -You can't be a witness unless you've done the list, yes? | 0:57:20 | 0:57:23 | |
Please don't freak out, but Sadie got a last-minute chance | 0:57:23 | 0:57:26 | |
-to go skydiving with her aunt in Aberdeen. -Yeeeeeesssss! | 0:57:26 | 0:57:28 | |
-Noooooooo! -Calm down! | 0:57:28 | 0:57:31 | |
Sadie said I should be her for the week | 0:57:31 | 0:57:33 | |
and do whatever she was supposed to do instead. | 0:57:33 | 0:57:36 | |
Oh, my Lady Gaga! You want me to be your list witness! | 0:57:36 | 0:57:39 | |
But I haven't even done the list. | 0:57:39 | 0:57:41 | |
Then you'll have to do it. | 0:57:41 | 0:57:42 | |
Because, if you don't do it, I can't do it, | 0:57:42 | 0:57:44 | |
which means I can't turn 14 with any self-respecting...self-respect. | 0:57:44 | 0:57:48 | |
-This is priceless. -I might as well hang up my sparkly salopettes, | 0:57:48 | 0:57:52 | |
stop wearing hats at a jaunty angle | 0:57:52 | 0:57:54 | |
and put on a one-size-fits-all plain T and move to Bangor. | 0:57:54 | 0:57:57 | |
Is that what you want?! | 0:57:57 | 0:57:59 | |
OK, OK, I'll do the list! | 0:57:59 | 0:58:01 | |
You will? Oh, Deeds! | 0:58:01 | 0:58:03 | |
Really? That would be the best birthday pressie ever. | 0:58:03 | 0:58:07 | |
-What are BFFs for, right? -Coolio. | 0:58:07 | 0:58:09 | |
In that case, I'll be YOUR witness. | 0:58:09 | 0:58:12 | |
I seriously want to be there when the Deedlebug fails. | 0:58:12 | 0:58:15 | |
I'm not going to fail. I never fail. I'm unable to fail. | 0:58:15 | 0:58:19 | |
Now, give me the list. | 0:58:19 | 0:58:21 | |
SHE STARTS TO HYPERVENTILATE | 0:58:25 | 0:58:28 | |
Now I know why Sadie says this all the time. Aaaarrrrggghhhhh! | 0:58:29 | 0:58:33 | |
# Won't somebody tell me why I'm always surrounded by boys? | 0:58:33 | 0:58:38 | |
# Give me a break | 0:58:38 | 0:58:40 | |
# They've got attitude Kind of cute | 0:58:40 | 0:58:43 | |
# But when they're in trouble Tricks are good | 0:58:43 | 0:58:46 | |
# To save the day, to save the day | 0:58:46 | 0:58:48 | |
# I'd love another girl Around the place | 0:58:48 | 0:58:50 | |
# Could you be her? | 0:58:50 | 0:58:51 | |
# Someone to back me up so I always | 0:58:51 | 0:58:54 | |
# Have the last word | 0:58:54 | 0:58:55 | |
# I guess it's hard To be the only girl | 0:58:55 | 0:58:58 | |
# In a boys' world | 0:58:58 | 0:59:01 | |
# Girl, girl In a boys'... | 0:59:01 | 0:59:05 | |
# I know I'm strong because I've got a positive | 0:59:05 | 0:59:07 | |
# Mental attitude | 0:59:07 | 0:59:08 | |
# Understanding, kind of sensitive | 0:59:08 | 0:59:11 | |
# Don't want gratitude | 0:59:11 | 0:59:12 | |
# I just don't wanna be The only girl | 0:59:12 | 0:59:15 | |
# In a boys' world. # | 0:59:15 | 0:59:18 | |
Hey, no dawdling. We've got a lot of work to do today in that garage. | 0:59:19 | 0:59:23 | |
-On my way. -Right, hold that. | 0:59:23 | 0:59:25 | |
I don't know if you realise this, | 0:59:26 | 0:59:27 | |
but we've got a deadline for Mr Flurry Pops. | 0:59:27 | 0:59:30 | |
I know. Because nobody wants an overheated ice-cream van. | 0:59:30 | 0:59:33 | |
No. So get me Roger's food, his lead and the cereal. | 0:59:33 | 0:59:36 | |
Good. If we don't get this done this afternoon, | 0:59:38 | 0:59:41 | |
we are on very thin ice. | 0:59:41 | 0:59:44 | |
In fact, scrap that. | 0:59:44 | 0:59:47 | |
We're on melted ice. | 0:59:47 | 0:59:50 | |
-Steve, are you stressed? -Why, why, why are you saying that?! | 0:59:51 | 0:59:54 | |
You've put the bed sheet in the fridge, | 0:59:54 | 0:59:56 | |
you've given Danny and Jake Beefy Bony Bites for breakfast | 0:59:56 | 0:59:59 | |
-and you're taking the chair for a walk. -Oh... | 0:59:59 | 1:00:01 | |
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just missing Sadie, that's all. You know? | 1:00:01 | 1:00:07 | |
She doesn't do a lot, but she does enough. | 1:00:07 | 1:00:09 | |
Yeah, Sadie said you'd be like this. | 1:00:09 | 1:00:11 | |
-Really? -Yeah. That's why she said I should be her for the weekend, | 1:00:11 | 1:00:15 | |
step up to the plate. | 1:00:15 | 1:00:17 | |
Or...bowl. | 1:00:17 | 1:00:18 | |
Sort out some proper breakfast while I get started on the van. | 1:00:18 | 1:00:21 | |
-What about Roger? -Chillax. | 1:00:21 | 1:00:23 | |
Sadie's put the boys in charge of him. All right? | 1:00:23 | 1:00:26 | |
All right. | 1:00:26 | 1:00:28 | |
Here... I like this new Keith. | 1:00:28 | 1:00:30 | |
Never underestimate the power of the Keith-meister. | 1:00:30 | 1:00:34 | |
Cos he's actually a lot more in control than you think. | 1:00:34 | 1:00:37 | |
-Ninja to your right! -Eat Samurai sword, Ninja fiend! -Ninja up above! | 1:00:45 | 1:00:49 | |
I'll take you down and show you who is master of this temple! | 1:00:49 | 1:00:52 | |
Ninja to your left! | 1:00:52 | 1:00:54 | |
-Dad! -What are you shouting at me for? You spilled the breakfast. | 1:00:54 | 1:00:58 | |
You almost lost us out on the Shinto Temple of Honiwojinja! | 1:00:58 | 1:01:02 | |
The what? | 1:01:02 | 1:01:03 | |
The leader of the ancient warlord clan? Gogimakazhu! | 1:01:03 | 1:01:07 | |
Waka-who? Whatever. | 1:01:07 | 1:01:08 | |
A little birdie tells me that you are supposed to be... | 1:01:08 | 1:01:12 | |
Sadie for the week. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Yes, we know. | 1:01:12 | 1:01:15 | |
"You've got to take care of Roger." | 1:01:15 | 1:01:18 | |
-Which we will do, once we've stormed... -The Shinto Temple of... | 1:01:18 | 1:01:21 | |
Oi! | 1:01:21 | 1:01:23 | |
Right, now, he needs food, a walk and a wash. | 1:01:23 | 1:01:26 | |
Until then, no more...knicky knacky winja woja ninja...whatever. | 1:01:26 | 1:01:30 | |
-But you don't understand! -No, YOU don't understand. | 1:01:30 | 1:01:33 | |
You've got a duty to this dog. You're being irresponsible. | 1:01:33 | 1:01:36 | |
-But...that game is addictive! -We need it! | 1:01:36 | 1:01:39 | |
No. Not as much as he NEEDS a wash. | 1:01:39 | 1:01:43 | |
Sorry. It's number seven on the list thingy. | 1:01:50 | 1:01:52 | |
I have to steal something. | 1:01:52 | 1:01:55 | |
Tick. | 1:01:55 | 1:01:56 | |
Please accept this new milkshake | 1:01:56 | 1:01:59 | |
as a replacement for the one that I stole. | 1:01:59 | 1:02:03 | |
And as an extra thank-you... | 1:02:03 | 1:02:05 | |
-What are you doing? -Ha! In your face, girlfriend. Dede's on fire. | 1:02:07 | 1:02:12 | |
Yeah! A big cheating fire. | 1:02:12 | 1:02:14 | |
Nuh-uh. I'm just doing everything on the list... | 1:02:14 | 1:02:17 | |
Dede-style. | 1:02:17 | 1:02:19 | |
No-one said it wasn't open to interpretation. | 1:02:19 | 1:02:21 | |
Ooh, time to do number three. | 1:02:21 | 1:02:24 | |
E-mail in homework late. | 1:02:24 | 1:02:26 | |
Three seconds late! | 1:02:26 | 1:02:28 | |
-W-what are you doing? -Number five. Dancing like nobody's watching. | 1:02:31 | 1:02:37 | |
That's because nobody IS watching! | 1:02:37 | 1:02:40 | |
I am. | 1:02:40 | 1:02:41 | |
Oh, well, in for a penny, in for a pound. | 1:02:41 | 1:02:45 | |
BRUNO MARS: # And when you smile... # | 1:02:45 | 1:02:49 | |
May I have the next dance? | 1:02:51 | 1:02:53 | |
You have not lived until you have seen my chicken feet. | 1:02:53 | 1:02:56 | |
It is traditional Klypotan dance. | 1:02:56 | 1:02:58 | |
Sorry, I'm kind of busy right now. | 1:02:58 | 1:03:00 | |
When I do it back in Klypota, it makes my best friend Vorkel | 1:03:00 | 1:03:04 | |
roll over in the mud and tinkle himself! | 1:03:04 | 1:03:07 | |
-He is a pig. -GRUNTING | 1:03:07 | 1:03:10 | |
Right. Can we please get this show on the road? | 1:03:10 | 1:03:13 | |
I'm bungee jumping in five. | 1:03:13 | 1:03:15 | |
Off a five foot pole, natch. | 1:03:15 | 1:03:17 | |
-Fine. Whatevs. -Good luck, Deeds. | 1:03:17 | 1:03:20 | |
Remember it's my b-day in one day | 1:03:20 | 1:03:22 | |
so the sooner you can finish the list the sooner I can start. | 1:03:22 | 1:03:26 | |
Zere you go. | 1:03:26 | 1:03:29 | |
Oh, silly me. You did not order the fries, did you? | 1:03:29 | 1:03:32 | |
Oh, no. They are mine. Didn't Miss V tell you? | 1:03:32 | 1:03:35 | |
I always get extra fries on...Extra Fries Friday. | 1:03:35 | 1:03:41 | |
-Seriously? -Mm-hm. | 1:03:41 | 1:03:43 | |
I'm so sorry for the mixup. | 1:03:43 | 1:03:44 | |
You must remind me of these British idiosyncrasies, Mr Karter. | 1:03:44 | 1:03:49 | |
No, I couldn't. | 1:03:49 | 1:03:51 | |
Could I? | 1:03:51 | 1:03:53 | |
And zere is ze Vagon Vheel pizza viz posh potato skins. | 1:03:54 | 1:03:58 | |
You certainly get a lot of extras on a Friday, Mr Karter. | 1:03:58 | 1:04:02 | |
You should wait and see what I get on a Saturday. | 1:04:02 | 1:04:06 | |
Like taking candy from a baby. | 1:04:06 | 1:04:09 | |
Actually, you forgot my candy. | 1:04:10 | 1:04:12 | |
Right, here's the plan. | 1:04:15 | 1:04:17 | |
Feed Roger, wash Roger, take Roger for a walk, | 1:04:17 | 1:04:20 | |
which will dry him off, | 1:04:20 | 1:04:22 | |
and if we limit it to T minus 10 minutes per task | 1:04:22 | 1:04:25 | |
we should be back on the couch playing Ninja Warlord by...erm... | 1:04:25 | 1:04:28 | |
Really quickly. Are you with me? | 1:04:30 | 1:04:33 | |
This thing is enormous. | 1:04:33 | 1:04:35 | |
There's no way of tipping it into his boooooowwwwlll! | 1:04:35 | 1:04:39 | |
-Man down! -Man up, more like! | 1:04:39 | 1:04:42 | |
What did you think this scoop was for, you melon head? | 1:04:43 | 1:04:46 | |
A jaunty little doggy hat? | 1:04:46 | 1:04:48 | |
-Well, at least he's eating it. -True. | 1:04:48 | 1:04:52 | |
Feed Roger, tick. | 1:04:52 | 1:04:53 | |
Right, I'll go get the doggy shampoo and you turn on the S-H-O-W-E-R. | 1:04:53 | 1:04:59 | |
Turn on the show...er. | 1:04:59 | 1:05:02 | |
Not the show-er, the S-H-O-W-E-R. | 1:05:02 | 1:05:08 | |
-The drippy thing in the bathroom that gets you clean. -Ah, the... | 1:05:10 | 1:05:13 | |
Don't even think about saying it. | 1:05:13 | 1:05:16 | |
This is one of the dirtiest dogs in town. And that's how he likes it. | 1:05:16 | 1:05:19 | |
-One mention of you-know-what and he'll be off like a shot. -Ah, gotcha. | 1:05:19 | 1:05:23 | |
Hmm! Peach and passionfruit pooch wash. Nice! | 1:05:25 | 1:05:30 | |
And how about a little bit of coconut canine conditioner? | 1:05:30 | 1:05:33 | |
-We'll have you silky smooth in no time, Rog. -Shower's ready! | 1:05:33 | 1:05:37 | |
ROGER BARKS | 1:05:37 | 1:05:40 | |
Come on. Come on, you blighter. | 1:05:43 | 1:05:46 | |
Oh! | 1:05:46 | 1:05:48 | |
Oh, three-inch wrench, please. | 1:05:48 | 1:05:50 | |
-No way! -Excuse me? -This is Ninja Warlord Five. | 1:05:50 | 1:05:53 | |
The Shinto Temple of Honiwojinja! | 1:05:53 | 1:05:57 | |
The only VG to get six stars on the VG five-star chart. | 1:05:57 | 1:06:01 | |
Nope, nope, you lost me at "Shinto". | 1:06:01 | 1:06:05 | |
Hello. | 1:06:05 | 1:06:06 | |
Can I have a three-inch wrench, please? | 1:06:06 | 1:06:09 | |
-Ain't it lunchtime yet? -Forget about lunch. | 1:06:10 | 1:06:13 | |
-Have you seen the state of this thing? -Not even a cold one? | 1:06:13 | 1:06:16 | |
Don't even think about it. | 1:06:16 | 1:06:18 | |
I tell you, two hours and that lot is going to be ice-cream soup. | 1:06:18 | 1:06:21 | |
You know, boss, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. | 1:06:21 | 1:06:24 | |
-Oh, yeah? What's your excuse, then? -I'm serious. | 1:06:24 | 1:06:27 | |
You can't keep pushing yourself like this, you'll burn yourself out. | 1:06:27 | 1:06:31 | |
And burnout leads to freakout, girlfriend. | 1:06:31 | 1:06:34 | |
Are you reading Sadie's Girltastic magazine again? | 1:06:34 | 1:06:37 | |
Well, I can't read Flat Tyres Fortnightly all the time, can I? | 1:06:37 | 1:06:42 | |
Look, it says here, no matter how deadly the deadline is, | 1:06:42 | 1:06:46 | |
if we don't take regular breaks our work is likely to suffer. | 1:06:46 | 1:06:50 | |
BANG! | 1:06:50 | 1:06:52 | |
Just like that. | 1:06:52 | 1:06:53 | |
-Put the kettle on. -I've got a way better idea. | 1:06:56 | 1:07:00 | |
-Ninja at your back. -Oh, kick that Ninja scum. -Ninja on the floor. | 1:07:01 | 1:07:05 | |
Feel the wrath of the master of the temple. | 1:07:05 | 1:07:08 | |
-How good is this, boss? -Oh, it's pretty awesome. | 1:07:09 | 1:07:13 | |
Tell me about it. Even beats Sadie's skydiving, I bet. | 1:07:13 | 1:07:16 | |
Aaaaaarrrggghhh! | 1:07:16 | 1:07:19 | |
Possibly. | 1:07:19 | 1:07:20 | |
Told you it was good, didn't I? | 1:07:20 | 1:07:22 | |
-ALARM BELL SOUNDS -Oops. | 1:07:22 | 1:07:23 | |
-Better get back to Mr Flurry Pops. -Ooh, not so fast. | 1:07:23 | 1:07:27 | |
We've only just broken through the defences of Hokinokasuuuuu. | 1:07:27 | 1:07:33 | |
Is it true?! Is it true?! | 1:07:37 | 1:07:39 | |
Hello, Mum? | 1:07:39 | 1:07:41 | |
That nice dress you wore to Sadie's barbecue last week | 1:07:41 | 1:07:44 | |
was ruined by that frankly hideous cardigan. | 1:07:44 | 1:07:46 | |
So I'm saving up to buy you a new one for your b-day. | 1:07:47 | 1:07:50 | |
See you at dinner! | 1:07:50 | 1:07:51 | |
Number 13. Tell someone an uncomfortable home truth. Done. | 1:07:52 | 1:07:57 | |
And, yes, it's true, I've just completed the list, | 1:07:57 | 1:08:00 | |
in record time with nil fails. | 1:08:00 | 1:08:04 | |
Care to verify? | 1:08:04 | 1:08:05 | |
OMG, Deeds, you are officially a-to-the-mazing. | 1:08:05 | 1:08:09 | |
Now you can watch me do exactly what you did all over again. | 1:08:09 | 1:08:13 | |
-Yay... -You don't know how much this means to me. | 1:08:13 | 1:08:16 | |
If I had turned 14 without completing | 1:08:16 | 1:08:18 | |
that "things to do before you're 14" list, | 1:08:18 | 1:08:20 | |
I think I'd collapse. Like, literally. | 1:08:20 | 1:08:22 | |
Yeah, good on you, Deeds! | 1:08:22 | 1:08:24 | |
Oh, look. There's one more you still haven't done. | 1:08:24 | 1:08:30 | |
Number 14. Go on a date with someone and kiss them?! | 1:08:30 | 1:08:35 | |
Oh, no. No way. | 1:08:35 | 1:08:37 | |
The Deedster doesn't do that. The Dede no do-do. Cos I don't! | 1:08:37 | 1:08:42 | |
Captain Skylo is the only man for me. It's impossible. | 1:08:42 | 1:08:46 | |
Oh! Kit! | 1:08:46 | 1:08:48 | |
Just leave me here at 13. | 1:08:48 | 1:08:50 | |
I'm no use to anyone after tomorrow if I haven't completed that list. | 1:08:50 | 1:08:53 | |
That's ridiculous. Tell him how ridiculous that is. | 1:08:53 | 1:08:56 | |
Actually I think he's got a fair point. | 1:08:56 | 1:08:59 | |
Where am I supposed to find a boy to go on a date with, and kiss, today? | 1:08:59 | 1:09:03 | |
-BOTH: -Never going to happen. | 1:09:04 | 1:09:07 | |
Chillax. Friends don't count anyway. | 1:09:07 | 1:09:10 | |
-You'll have to find someone else. -But there IS no-one else. | 1:09:10 | 1:09:14 | |
-One extra choca-loca-sha-da shake, for Extra Fries Friday. -Thank you. | 1:09:14 | 1:09:18 | |
Can I get you anything, Miss Baxter? | 1:09:18 | 1:09:20 | |
One dinner date with a side order of mwah, mwah, mwah! | 1:09:20 | 1:09:25 | |
Roger! Roger! | 1:09:30 | 1:09:33 | |
Have you definitely checked in the garage | 1:09:33 | 1:09:35 | |
and the garden and the greenhouse, yeah? | 1:09:35 | 1:09:37 | |
Yeah. You checked on the stairs, | 1:09:37 | 1:09:38 | |
under the stairs and on top of the stairs? | 1:09:38 | 1:09:40 | |
Yeah. You know what this means, don't you? | 1:09:40 | 1:09:43 | |
We're never going to get back to Ninja Warlord today. | 1:09:43 | 1:09:45 | |
Roger has left the building. | 1:09:45 | 1:09:48 | |
-And that means? -He'll be halfway to Scotland by now. | 1:09:48 | 1:09:51 | |
-Argh! -BOTH: Roger! Roger! | 1:09:51 | 1:09:54 | |
-No, I can't do it. -Don't even think about letting me down, Deeds. | 1:09:59 | 1:10:02 | |
Sadie would do it and you promised to be her for the week. | 1:10:02 | 1:10:05 | |
Are you kidding me? Sadie never does anything she doesn't want to do. | 1:10:05 | 1:10:09 | |
But it's my birthday! My special day. It's not like you get one every year. | 1:10:09 | 1:10:13 | |
You're SO going to owe me for this, you know that? | 1:10:13 | 1:10:16 | |
Thanks, Deeds. You can have anything you like. | 1:10:16 | 1:10:18 | |
Absolutely anything. Though my Gaga collection is off limits | 1:10:18 | 1:10:21 | |
and my pocket money goes off to pay a rather large Lily Allen debt. | 1:10:21 | 1:10:24 | |
-What? -I know, she's SO over. | 1:10:24 | 1:10:27 | |
But like many misguided memento hunters, | 1:10:27 | 1:10:29 | |
I thought she was in it for the long haul. | 1:10:29 | 1:10:32 | |
-Deedlebug. -Ashlii. Er, Jazper, can I have a word? | 1:10:34 | 1:10:38 | |
HE SPEAKS IN HIS OWN LANGUAGE | 1:10:38 | 1:10:40 | |
-It means yes. -How verbally cumbersome. -Thank you. | 1:10:43 | 1:10:48 | |
Enough of the flirting, Deeds. Get on with it. | 1:10:48 | 1:10:50 | |
I was wondering if maybe... | 1:10:50 | 1:10:54 | |
-And you can totally say no... -No, he can't. Sorry. | 1:10:54 | 1:10:59 | |
If you'd like to go on a date with me. | 1:10:59 | 1:11:02 | |
I'm not that hideous, am I? | 1:11:05 | 1:11:07 | |
-Well, now you ask... -Of course I will go on a date with you! | 1:11:07 | 1:11:11 | |
Yes, yes and another yes! | 1:11:11 | 1:11:14 | |
I'll take that as a yes, then! | 1:11:14 | 1:11:16 | |
I promise you, this will be the best date in the history of the world. | 1:11:16 | 1:11:20 | |
Oh, no. You don't have to go to any trouble. Like, really. | 1:11:20 | 1:11:24 | |
I mean, look at us now, standing here, | 1:11:24 | 1:11:26 | |
together, in a cafe. We're practically on a date right now. | 1:11:26 | 1:11:30 | |
In fact, if you just pecked me on the cheek before I go, | 1:11:30 | 1:11:35 | |
-we might not even have to go on a date. -Uh-uh-uh. | 1:11:35 | 1:11:39 | |
You are hilarious, Miss Baxter. | 1:11:39 | 1:11:43 | |
One cannot be on a date without ze beautiful, billowing bunting. | 1:11:43 | 1:11:47 | |
And ze harp tinkling and tonkling in the breeze. | 1:11:47 | 1:11:51 | |
Tinkle, tonkle. Tinkle, tonkle. | 1:11:51 | 1:11:53 | |
Tinkle, tonkle. | 1:11:53 | 1:11:55 | |
And a large goat fizzing on the spit. | 1:11:55 | 1:11:57 | |
Goat - very important in Klypotian culture. | 1:11:57 | 1:12:01 | |
That sounds beyond. You are one lucky girl, Deedster. | 1:12:02 | 1:12:07 | |
I know! Why don't I book you a booth here? | 1:12:07 | 1:12:11 | |
-Make it even more romantique! -ALL: Yes! | 1:12:11 | 1:12:15 | |
No! I mean, erm, fine. | 1:12:15 | 1:12:19 | |
Just, no bunting. Or tinkling. Or goat fizzing. | 1:12:19 | 1:12:23 | |
And definitely no romantique. | 1:12:23 | 1:12:26 | |
Just a normal, low-key date, with a shakalaka shake. | 1:12:26 | 1:12:31 | |
And maybe some curly fries. | 1:12:31 | 1:12:32 | |
As you wish. There will just be shakes and curly fries. | 1:12:32 | 1:12:36 | |
And then, I will sing a specially composed love song for you. | 1:12:36 | 1:12:40 | |
We can dance the chicken feet dance together. | 1:12:40 | 1:12:43 | |
See you at seven! | 1:12:43 | 1:12:46 | |
PHONE RINGS | 1:12:52 | 1:12:55 | |
If we're going to breach this temple, | 1:12:55 | 1:12:58 | |
we're going to have to embrace the way of the samurai. | 1:12:58 | 1:13:01 | |
-Yeah, but boss... -From now on, I'm not your boss. | 1:13:01 | 1:13:04 | |
-I'm your sensei. -You're not a sensei. | 1:13:04 | 1:13:07 | |
-We've been here for... -Ooh, come on! | 1:13:07 | 1:13:09 | |
Let's teach these Ninja hordes a lesson! | 1:13:09 | 1:13:12 | |
HE SCREAMS | 1:13:12 | 1:13:15 | |
That's what I'm talking about. | 1:13:19 | 1:13:21 | |
You can almost smell victory. It smells a bit like... | 1:13:21 | 1:13:25 | |
BOTH: ..burnt ice-cream. | 1:13:26 | 1:13:28 | |
PHONE RINGS | 1:13:28 | 1:13:30 | |
Oh, no! Why did you not remind me about Mr Flurrypops? | 1:13:32 | 1:13:37 | |
I've been trying to tell you, | 1:13:37 | 1:13:38 | |
but you were too wrapped up in that stupid game. | 1:13:38 | 1:13:41 | |
That game is not stupid. It's just incredibly addictive. | 1:13:41 | 1:13:45 | |
I don't believe it. The boys were right. | 1:13:45 | 1:13:48 | |
I don't believe it. Dad was right. We ARE totally irresponsible. | 1:13:48 | 1:13:53 | |
Don't give up so easily, Danny boy. | 1:13:53 | 1:13:55 | |
It ain't over till the fat lady sings. | 1:13:55 | 1:13:57 | |
She sang two hours ago and caught the bus home, you melon head. | 1:13:57 | 1:14:00 | |
Get with the programme, Jakey boy. We've looked all over town. | 1:14:00 | 1:14:04 | |
-Roger is gone. -Oh, no! | 1:14:04 | 1:14:07 | |
What's Sadie going to say when she gets back from skydiving? | 1:14:07 | 1:14:10 | |
No-o-o-o-o! | 1:14:10 | 1:14:12 | |
-Doesn't bear thinking about. -Oh, loveable, smelly old Roger. | 1:14:12 | 1:14:17 | |
Good, kind, smelly old Roger. | 1:14:17 | 1:14:21 | |
Are you crying? | 1:14:24 | 1:14:26 | |
No. You? | 1:14:26 | 1:14:29 | |
-Hey, Jazper. -Hey, Dede. | 1:14:37 | 1:14:40 | |
Oh, my Gaga! | 1:14:40 | 1:14:43 | |
I know this British turn of phrase. It means hurrah, yes? | 1:14:43 | 1:14:46 | |
-That's one interpretation. -I am so glad you are happy with it. | 1:14:46 | 1:14:50 | |
I thought you did not want a fuss, but Ashlii said you did. | 1:14:50 | 1:14:53 | |
I bet she did. | 1:14:53 | 1:14:55 | |
That's why I have pushed out the strudelboat. | 1:14:55 | 1:14:58 | |
No way. | 1:14:58 | 1:15:00 | |
-Way. -Hang on. Isn't that...? | 1:15:00 | 1:15:03 | |
Moi? I'm here for moral support, Deeds. Obvs. Look, no hands! | 1:15:03 | 1:15:08 | |
Now close. It doesn't matter how much of a nerd he is, | 1:15:10 | 1:15:14 | |
nobody wants to kiss a mothball mouth. | 1:15:14 | 1:15:16 | |
Actually, it's just going to be a tiny peck. | 1:15:16 | 1:15:19 | |
Care to take a seat, Miss Baxter? | 1:15:19 | 1:15:21 | |
Erm, bring-bring, bring-bring! Sorry, that's me. | 1:15:23 | 1:15:29 | |
Hello, Mum? Oh, no! Granny Baxter's ill? | 1:15:29 | 1:15:33 | |
And she wants me to visit her, like, really, really soon? | 1:15:33 | 1:15:37 | |
But I'm on a date. I couldn't possibly... Be there in five. | 1:15:37 | 1:15:41 | |
-What is she playing at? -It's all part of the plan. I hope. | 1:15:41 | 1:15:46 | |
Sorry, looks like we're going to have to wrap things up. | 1:15:46 | 1:15:49 | |
Granny B's been stung by a bee. | 1:15:49 | 1:15:53 | |
Oh, poor old woman. | 1:15:53 | 1:15:54 | |
But Miss Summers hasn't brought out the dinner platters yet. | 1:15:54 | 1:15:57 | |
In Klypota, dates take place over six separate courses. | 1:15:57 | 1:16:00 | |
Plus dessert. And strudel cheese. | 1:16:00 | 1:16:03 | |
Yeah, I might have to skip dessert. And courses two through six. | 1:16:03 | 1:16:07 | |
Maybe we should just kiss goodbye now. | 1:16:07 | 1:16:09 | |
-Told you. -What a shame. | 1:16:09 | 1:16:12 | |
I was so hoping we could enjoy a lively discussion over dinner | 1:16:12 | 1:16:15 | |
about such interesting subjects as | 1:16:15 | 1:16:17 | |
the origins of the chicken feet dance | 1:16:17 | 1:16:19 | |
or why my pet piglet will always shimmy to Susan Boyle, | 1:16:19 | 1:16:23 | |
or which episode of Space Cargo is the most thrilling. | 1:16:23 | 1:16:26 | |
BELL TINGS | 1:16:26 | 1:16:28 | |
What? YOU like Space Cargo? Me, too! | 1:16:28 | 1:16:33 | |
Yes. This is why I am so glad Auntie V invited me to look after Y Diner. | 1:16:33 | 1:16:37 | |
Here, I can watch endless reruns of the show. | 1:16:37 | 1:16:40 | |
At home, Mama's always nagging. | 1:16:40 | 1:16:43 | |
"Go outside and wear hoodie like normal teenager." | 1:16:43 | 1:16:45 | |
But we ARE normal teenagers. | 1:16:45 | 1:16:47 | |
Exactly. Teenagers who know where Captain Scarlo | 1:16:47 | 1:16:50 | |
gets his infinite power source. | 1:16:50 | 1:16:52 | |
BOTH: The Rock of Cargozinian. | 1:16:52 | 1:16:54 | |
THEY LAUGH | 1:16:54 | 1:16:58 | |
You're not going to believe this, | 1:16:58 | 1:16:59 | |
but I actually own one of the original rock props | 1:16:59 | 1:17:01 | |
used in the first series. | 1:17:01 | 1:17:03 | |
I don't believe it! | 1:17:03 | 1:17:04 | |
I queued for 17 hours just to get into the auction | 1:17:04 | 1:17:08 | |
for one of those rocks and I didn't even get a pebble. | 1:17:08 | 1:17:10 | |
I want to hear all about how you got it. | 1:17:10 | 1:17:12 | |
-Well... -Wait, what about your sick grandmother? | 1:17:12 | 1:17:15 | |
-Pah, she'll get over it. -No, no, no. You must go. | 1:17:15 | 1:17:18 | |
Er, ping! Oh, yay! She's better. | 1:17:18 | 1:17:22 | |
Ah, OK. | 1:17:22 | 1:17:23 | |
Hang on, I have a special shakalaka shara shake for us to share. | 1:17:23 | 1:17:27 | |
Let me fetch. | 1:17:27 | 1:17:29 | |
-Deeds, what gives? -You better get a move on. | 1:17:29 | 1:17:32 | |
Chillax, guys. I may have thought Jazper was a total nerdaloid, | 1:17:32 | 1:17:36 | |
who I'd only ever kiss cos of that stupid list, | 1:17:36 | 1:17:39 | |
but he's actually a really nice guy AND he likes Space Cargo. | 1:17:39 | 1:17:44 | |
Can you believe, the thought of kissing him | 1:17:44 | 1:17:46 | |
doesn't make me feel physically sick anymore? | 1:17:46 | 1:17:49 | |
He's right behind me, isn't he? | 1:17:49 | 1:17:51 | |
I expected more from you, Miss Baxter. This date is finished. | 1:17:51 | 1:17:57 | |
Dad? | 1:18:03 | 1:18:05 | |
Danny. | 1:18:07 | 1:18:08 | |
There's something you should know, Mr Jenkins. | 1:18:08 | 1:18:11 | |
-I've got something to tell you boys, too. -You first. | 1:18:11 | 1:18:14 | |
-No, you. -You. | 1:18:14 | 1:18:17 | |
-Rock, paper, scissors? -Get on with it! | 1:18:17 | 1:18:20 | |
I've got addicted to Ninja Warlord and I've done all the levels. | 1:18:21 | 1:18:24 | |
We tried looking after Roger, but we lost him. | 1:18:24 | 1:18:26 | |
-You've lost Roger? -You played every level on Ninja Warlord? | 1:18:26 | 1:18:29 | |
-Do you know how serious this is? -Do YOU know how serious this is? | 1:18:29 | 1:18:32 | |
I can never play that game again now that it's been done. | 1:18:32 | 1:18:35 | |
You have lost a member of our family. | 1:18:35 | 1:18:38 | |
OK, you win. But you don't understand! | 1:18:40 | 1:18:43 | |
We tried our best, we really did. | 1:18:43 | 1:18:45 | |
-Er, Danny... -No, let me say this. | 1:18:45 | 1:18:48 | |
-Mate... -One sec, Keith. | 1:18:48 | 1:18:50 | |
We gave our all to that dog. We fed him. | 1:18:50 | 1:18:53 | |
I got coconut canine conditioner out especially just to wash him. | 1:18:53 | 1:18:56 | |
And as Jakey boy here as my witness, | 1:18:56 | 1:18:58 | |
Roger was just sitting there like that and then, he disappeared. | 1:18:58 | 1:19:03 | |
HE SOBS | 1:19:03 | 1:19:06 | |
ROGER PANTS | 1:19:08 | 1:19:12 | |
Roger? | 1:19:12 | 1:19:14 | |
We'll just be, erm, going. | 1:19:16 | 1:19:20 | |
Yes, you do that. | 1:19:20 | 1:19:22 | |
PHONE RINGS | 1:19:30 | 1:19:31 | |
I thought I told you not to call me again. | 1:19:31 | 1:19:34 | |
Yes, but that was then and this is now. Things change. | 1:19:34 | 1:19:37 | |
In three minutes? | 1:19:37 | 1:19:38 | |
Look, Deeds, before you hang up, again, | 1:19:38 | 1:19:41 | |
I just wanted you to know that it's not the end of the world | 1:19:41 | 1:19:43 | |
and that we can get through this together as BFFs and best buds. | 1:19:43 | 1:19:47 | |
I guess. Thanks, Kit. | 1:19:47 | 1:19:49 | |
So, how do you feel about a tete-a-tete | 1:19:49 | 1:19:52 | |
or more accurately, a date-a-date, with Liam Higgins? | 1:19:52 | 1:19:54 | |
He's happy for you to kiss him on the cheek for a Supercon comic, | 1:19:54 | 1:19:58 | |
whatever that is. | 1:19:58 | 1:19:59 | |
The point being that you finish your list and I start mine tout de suite. | 1:19:59 | 1:20:03 | |
Don't you get it? That stupid, pointless, imbecilic list | 1:20:03 | 1:20:07 | |
is what got me into all this trouble in the first place! | 1:20:07 | 1:20:10 | |
I hurt Jazper because of it, because of you. | 1:20:10 | 1:20:13 | |
-In fact, this is all your fault. -OMLG, Deeds, I am such an idiot. | 1:20:13 | 1:20:17 | |
Too right! You're the idiot's idiot. King Idiot. | 1:20:17 | 1:20:21 | |
President of the Idotonians. | 1:20:21 | 1:20:23 | |
You're right, I have to do something to make it up to Jazper. | 1:20:23 | 1:20:26 | |
No, don't you dare do anything. You've done enough damage as it is. | 1:20:26 | 1:20:30 | |
All new Kitty Kat coming through. Make way for change. | 1:20:35 | 1:20:39 | |
Have you gone totally bonkerlicious? | 1:20:39 | 1:20:41 | |
Chillax, Jaz. I'm doing this for your benefit. | 1:20:43 | 1:20:46 | |
-I'm not feeling it. -Attenzione, Y diners! | 1:20:46 | 1:20:49 | |
I think most of you here are familiar | 1:20:49 | 1:20:53 | |
with the Things To Do Before You're 14 list my BFF Dede agreed to do, | 1:20:53 | 1:20:56 | |
just so she could be my list witness. | 1:20:56 | 1:20:59 | |
And she hates it. And do you know what? She's right. | 1:20:59 | 1:21:02 | |
The list is stupid... THEY GASP | 1:21:02 | 1:21:04 | |
..pointless... THEY GASP | 1:21:04 | 1:21:06 | |
-..and imbeklinic. -ALL: What? | 1:21:06 | 1:21:08 | |
-Imbecilic. -That's the one. | 1:21:08 | 1:21:10 | |
You heard me. Dede ended up hurting...someone. | 1:21:11 | 1:21:15 | |
Someone she would never have willingly hurt | 1:21:15 | 1:21:18 | |
if I hadn't forced her into it | 1:21:18 | 1:21:19 | |
which is why I wanted to say a big heartfelt sorry to you, Jazper. | 1:21:19 | 1:21:23 | |
I hope you can forgive us. The list is officially dissed. | 1:21:23 | 1:21:28 | |
THEY CHEER | 1:21:32 | 1:21:35 | |
-That was very big of you, Kit. -It was, wasn't it? | 1:21:35 | 1:21:39 | |
Of course I forgive you. | 1:21:39 | 1:21:40 | |
Don't listen to a word he says. | 1:21:43 | 1:21:44 | |
OK, I know I totally messed up and you'll probably never forgive me. | 1:21:44 | 1:21:48 | |
Actually, Deeds... | 1:21:48 | 1:21:50 | |
-Let me finish. I want him to know how terrible I feel. -But, Deeds... | 1:21:50 | 1:21:53 | |
Zip it, Kit. And the only way I could think of making it up to you | 1:21:53 | 1:21:56 | |
was to give you this. | 1:21:56 | 1:21:58 | |
-The Rock of Cargozinian! -Could you possibly forgive me? | 1:21:58 | 1:22:01 | |
But I have already forgiven you. Kit explained everything | 1:22:01 | 1:22:04 | |
and I realise you do it cos you're a pure-hearted, wonderful person. | 1:22:04 | 1:22:07 | |
Well, if you've already forgiven me... | 1:22:07 | 1:22:11 | |
I mean, it's a prized piece in my collection. | 1:22:11 | 1:22:14 | |
So, if you don't mind, I'll... | 1:22:14 | 1:22:16 | |
Nothing. Enjoy the rock. | 1:22:16 | 1:22:18 | |
Thank you, Miss Baxter. | 1:22:23 | 1:22:24 | |
OMLG, Deeds. Jazper just kissed you! | 1:22:26 | 1:22:29 | |
-I know! -Which means you've completed the list. Which means I can... | 1:22:29 | 1:22:31 | |
Don't even go there. | 1:22:31 | 1:22:33 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 1:22:51 | 1:22:54 | |
There you go, Mr Karter. | 1:22:54 | 1:22:57 | |
Extra strudel sausage on Extra Strudel Sausage Saturday | 1:22:57 | 1:22:59 | |
along with extra shakes and schnitzels. | 1:22:59 | 1:23:02 | |
Oh, and I almost forgot, | 1:23:03 | 1:23:05 | |
an extra large bill for all the extras. | 1:23:05 | 1:23:08 | |
You what?! But... | 1:23:08 | 1:23:10 | |
Don't worry. | 1:23:10 | 1:23:11 | |
You've got until Time To Pay Up Tuesday to settle the bill. | 1:23:11 | 1:23:14 | |
No! | 1:23:17 | 1:23:18 |