Seasonalicious Sadie J

You have to come! We have a family ticket and Dad'll give you a lift.

And still I say, this chico don't do camping.

Camping? Nuh-uh! Glamping! Middle Summer Fest is

the most awesome mundacious teen festival of the year.

All the coolest people on the planet will be there.

-PHONE BEEPS

-Oh, and Dede.

Deedster, how awesome-mundacious is Middle Summer Fest?

Off the scale! Middle Summer Fest is better

than the Cargonian paradise planet Elysium Five. You'll never believe

who's been signing autographs in the Sci-Fi Yurt!

-Tom Roberts!

-Captain Skylo?!

The very same.

I'm Tom's Best Fan Forever.

Or BFF, if you will.

And so - he's promised to get us into the VIP area!

-BOTH: VIP?!

-We're going to meet all the stars!

Jessie J, One Direction...

and, on the international stage, Latin superstar Bebe Bueno.

-Who?

-Bebe Bueno!

The Beyonce of Brazil!

OMBB!

I told you! This is going to be the best summer, E to the V to the A!

THUNDER CRASHES AND RUMBLES

RAIN POURS

Oh, don't worry, Deeds, I'm sure it won't last.

MUSIC PLAYS: "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree"

-Huh?

-BOTH: Surprise!

Now, you know Bev can't be with us for Christmas,

cos she's going to see her relatives up North.

So we decided to have our own family celebrations tomorrow,

half way to Christmas! June the 25th!

But what about Middle Summer Fest?

Ah, yeah, we can go next year.

BFFs! VIPs! OMLG!

BOTH: Ho, ho, ho!

Ho, ho, noooooo!

# Won't somebody tell me why I'm always surrounded by boys?

# Give me a break

# They got attitude, kinda cute

# But when they're in trouble takes a girl

-# To save the day!

-To save the day!

-# I'd love another girl around the place!

-Could you be her?

-# Someone to back me up so I always

-Have the last word

# I guess it's hard to be the only girl

# In a boys' world

# Girl, girl

# In a boys'...

-# I know I'm strong because I've got a positive

-Mental attitude

-# Understanding, kind of sensitive

-Don't want gratitude

# I just don't wanna be the only girl

# In a boys' world. #

Right, now, Shirl and Earl's flight gets in at 6:15,

so they should be here by 8:30.

So it's stockings at 9. Crackers at 9:30.

9:45, we sing Christmas carols while I baste the turkey.

-The what now?

-Oh, yeah, Bev's doing the turkey with all the trimmings.

Right! No more Packet Noodle with Rehydrated Turkey-Flavoured Pieces.

What? But it's traditional! And what about Danny?

It was his turn to carve the pieces.

-Yeah!

-And you know Jake only eats processed food?

-True.

-Never mind, boys. By lunchtime,

you'll be so full of chocolate, you won't even notice.

Oh, chocolate for breakfast - the true meaning of Christmas.

You eat chocolate for breakfast every day!

Am I the only one who wants to stop this travesty?

Oh, Ashlii! Thank Gaga!

What is with all the Santa stuff?

They want to have a family Christmas here tomorrow!

Christmas? Tomorrow?

Mm-hm!

Amazing! I love Christmas!

Has everyone except me gone absolutely bonkatron?!

Now, listen, everyone else is on board, all right?

-So don't go spoiling it for the rest of us.

-Fine!

I promise...

that Sassy J is going to Middle Summer Fest,

-whatever it takes.

-THUMP!

Bah humbug!

HE PLAYS "Price Tag" by Jessie J

# Just wanna make the world dance

# Forget about the price tag... #

Thank you, chicas and chicos.

Please show your support in the usual way.

LOUD BOOING

Well...that went better than last week.

-I think I'm winning them round.

-Okey-dokey.

Here is your artist's fee.

Minus deductions, which leaves you with two... No...

One pence. Don't spend it all at once.

Deductions? What deductions?!

For the redecoration. This whole wall will have to be repainted,

which costs lots of moolah, unless you want to paint the wall yourself?

Get real, lady! Rico is an artist!

I paint pictures with my music, not walls. Keep your moolah.

Oh, my lady Gaga! Emergency!

Shakalaka Supershake, stat!

With double double chocolate syrup and extra cream. And more cream.

What's the crisis this time, chica?

Crisis? What crisis?! There's no crisis!

Is that shake ready yet?!

A 3,000-calorie shake?! Girlfriend, there had so better be a crisis!

OK, it's like this. But whatever you do...do not panic.

Dad and Bev want...

..family celebrations tomorrow, half way to Christmas! June 25th!

..instead of going to Middle Summer Fest.

But this is terrible! You promised me a lift to the festival of midsummer!

You promise! You promise! How am I get to see Bebe Bueno now?

Way to go, not panicking, Rico.

Answer me!

Chillaxio! This car-crash Christmas is toast.

-I've got it sorted. I've got a plan.

-Aha!

One of your trademark Sassy J sabotage schemes, yes?

Absototally!

Shakalaka Supershake, please,

with triple whipped cream and cream on top,

and more cream.

-Who wants Christmas cookies?

-BOTH: Me!

Bring the tray down when you're done.

I'm off to wrap your prezzies.

-No way!

-Way. In fact, I bought you both the same thing.

-The same thing?

-That's not fair!

-How is that not fair?

I should get a better present than you, that's why.

-Because I'm family!

-Danny...

Christmas is about sharing the love in your heart with everyone.

Yeah, but I've way more love in my heart than Jake.

Plus I'm practically your son.

Just face it, Danny Boy, the Bev-meister likes me

just as much as she likes you,

and she's not even dating my dad.

That's because your dad is married to your mum!

-Dur-brain!

-All right, boys, that's enough!

-It's not a competition, you know.

-No, course not...

But I'm just glad I managed to get you a present, Bev,

unlike the Jakester here.

Don't listen to him, Bev, Bevvers, the Bevster.

My prezzie for you is awesome!

Well, aren't I the lucky one, eh?

Eat those cookies before they get cold.

You've SO not got her anything, have you?

-Nope. You?

-Nothing.

Yet.

Nobody ever said it was going to be easy,

but if we work together, if we believe in ourselves,

we follow our dreams, we can ruin Christmas for everyone!

-OK, chica, get to the plan.

-OK, it's all written down here.

Shirl and Earl's flight details. We go online and cancel their tickets.

Then, we call up this food bank and donate the turkey.

What? I'm helping the needy.

Then the masterstroke -

Deeds has texted me this totally fail-proof chemical formula.

-OK, what will that do?

-It'll make all the needles drop off the tree,

which means Midsummer Christmas is T to the rashed!

Trashed! Impressed much?

-No.

-Say what?

So, you ruin Christmas. What will your father say?

He will say, "Sadie you have been bad,

"no Middle Summer Fest for you!"

Duh, he's not going to know it was me!

Trust me, girlfriend. He will know.

-Who else would come up with a plan like this?

-No-one!

It's totes Sassalistic! The plan has Sadie Jenkins written all over it.

-Oh!

-Forget the lies!

If you want to go to Middle Summer Fest, you must keep it real.

It is the only way. Tell him the truth!

-Excuse me?

-Look, imagine I'm your father. What would you say to me?

Err, what gives with the Spanish accent, Dad?

Seriously, that's all you've got?!

-You know, I'm trying, but you're not giving me much, are you?

-OK, er...

AWKWARD DEEP VOICE: Motorcars. Spanner. Monkey wrench.

Chips! Now speak!

Dad, you just... you don't seem to get it.

This summer holiday was supposed to be our time.

But suddenly...suddenly, it's all about Bev.

And I feel like all those years we've spent together,

they don't count for anything any more.

And what about Mum? Have you just forgotten her?

Because...sometimes, it feels like you have.

OMLG! Where did that just come from?! Ha!

From the heart, tia. And that is how you must speak to your papa.

You're right. I'll torture Dad with emotional blackmail!

-I did not say that!

-I know, but I heard what you meant!

Oi, Jenkins! Pick up your trash!

Oi, Summers, you're the waitress, do your job.

Turkey's defrosted, the mince pies are in the oven

and the stockings are on the mantle.

-Now, do you want me to make up the beds for Shirl and Earl?

-Oh?

Where are we going to put them? I suppose they could go on the sofa.

OK, well, let's see.

Well, maybe Danny could move out for a couple of nights, stay with Jake,

and then, Keith could go in Danny's room...

Right, so we free up Keith's room for Shirl and Earl?

Oh, I dunno. I don't like asking the kid to move out.

-You know what he's like.

-Well, we've got enough problems with Sadie.

The last thing we need is him moping about and making a fuss.

Well, you never know, he might surprise you.

He's not a little boy any more.

It'll do him good to go somewhere else.

CUP CLINKS

Still... It don't feel right to push him out like that.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS You know... Oh...

Oh! Yo, ho, ho!

You looking forward to your Midsummer Christmas, then, Shirl?

You what?

Oh, you are joking!

Rico was right.

Emotional blackmail is so the way to go. Much better than...

Sabotage? This little scheme has got Sadie Jenkins written all over it!

Cancelling flights? Getting rid of the turkey?

You've been trying to wreck this Christmas from the start.

Well, for once, you won't get your own way!

-But I didn't!

-Don't even bother.

Christmas is happening tomorrow, whatever you say!

-But...

-Ah!

-I...

-Ah!

But you saw it, didn't you?

I mean, I scrunched up the plan, threw them away...

-they hit Ashlii...

-Oi!

Oh, my Gaga. Ashlii!

-You! You set me up!

-You set yourself up!

The way you went on about Middle Summer Fest - you're so obvious!

I can't believe you did all this, just to get me in trouble with Dad.

Newsflash, Jenkins! It's not always about you!

-I did it to get out of that stupid family Christmas.

-Say what?

-But I thought you wanted to go?

-Yeah, you were supposed to.

Duh! To get away with an evil scheme, you have to play nice,

then wreck things from the inside. Like I do.

Well, the joke's on you, princess, cos - newsflash - it didn't work.

-Say what?!

-Suck it up, Ashlii, Midsummer Christmas is go, go, go.

Danny and Jake'll be doing armpit farts round the dinner table,

Roger'll overdose on spuds and get sick

and Dad'll do his Christmas carol megamix-medley.

23 songs, all out of tune. One in Welsh. Maybe you can join in.

I'd rather eat my own hair. Scrunchie and all.

I know. Sickening, isn't it?

And I want to be at Middle Summer Fest!

So we actually want the same thing!

-That's right!

-Right!

-Don't come in!

-Don't come in?!

If you want privacy, get your own tree house!

Well, I'm wrapping Bev's present and I don't want you copying me.

Why would I copy you? I've got this little gift-off all wrapped up.

My present for Bev is going to blow her socks off.

Yeah, well, she won't even notice her cold feet.

Cos mine's going to blow her mind!

OK...I didn't want to have to do this, but...

say hello to Mani Mayhem!

The nail-biting, nail-decorating video game!

"Dazzle your friends with manicure masterpieces.

"Over 99 sparkling shades of glitter.

"As endorsed by the New Jersey Institute of Nail Science."

That's terrible!

Well, terrible for you, cos I just got her the best present ever.

So did I.

OK, now, remember, no matter what happens,

no-one must know about this plan to wreck Midsummer Christmas.

-We don't even have a plan yet.

-I know, but I'm thinking of one!

Look - thinking face.

That just looks like indigestion.

I got your, er, tippity, tappity, tixity!

-Text?

-Yes, that's the one. So your plan failed?

Well, Plan A failed. It's just a minor setback.

Bebe Bueno!

Save the dramz, Rico! We're thinking up a new plan now,

so we can definitely go to Middle Summer Fest.

And that, my BFF, is a Sashlii promise.

Sashlii?!

What?

I like it.

I have a bad feeling about this.

You and the evil one working together?

It's horrible! It's like Simon Cowell working with Andrew Lloyd Webber!

Ooh, dibsy, I'm Simon!

Farewell, Ms Bueno. We could have been so good.

But it was not to be.

Bebe, you're so right! Never say goodbye to your dreams!

Si tu te vas!

-Ms V?

-Yes?

-About that painting work. We can make a deal?

I thought you were "artist", not painter.

For Bebe, I would build you a whole new diner.

-But let's just go with the painting work for now, yes?

-Fine.

The paints and brushes are in the store room.

You've broken something?

You've stolen something?

Your nan's been joyriding in the customer's cars again?

-No, boss.

-You've done something!

Otherwise why would you have washed up?

Come on, honey, tell us. You're making us both nervous.

I've done nothing. I just want you to know

how much I appreciate everything you've done for me.

Yeah! He's definitely broken something.

And I know I don't always show it, but I've loved living with you.

If it was up to me, I'd live here forever,

-but it's not my decision, is it?

-What are you trying to say?

You've been like a dad to me,

but at the end of the day, I'm not your son.

-I mean, we're not even related.

-True.

Oh, two minutes till the end of tea break. I'd best get back to work.

Going back to work early, doing the washing up?

-There's something wrong, I'm scared.

-Looks like your Keith's growing up.

About time, but what's all that about me not being his dad

and wanting to stay here forever?

Maybe he feels the need to spread his wings?

Well, I knew this day would come...

-Well, I just didn't expect it to be so soon...

-Come here.

You big goon!

OK, I've cracked it.

This is the perfect plan to get out of Midsummer Christmas.

"Fake an alien invasion".

That stinks, Jenkins.

Ewww!

Speaking of which, can you smell something?

Good work, Rico. Here is your moolah, and a little bit extra.

Gracias.

For doing a good job.

Ooh! Wait a minute. Where are they going?

It's that paint he's using. It properly pongs!

Pongtastic, or what?

Rico, where did you get this smelly paint?

From the store cupboard. Like you said.

That is not paint! That is the leftovers bucket!

Eurgh. Sour milkshake? Gross.

It's the same colour as the wall!

You total schnoodle-brained bumblernitus!

Nobody wants to eat here now!

Of course. It's brilltastic!

-What?

-Not for you, obviously.

Oh, is that the time? Pack your bags, Rico.

Middle Summer Fest, here we come!

You are going nowhere!

Not until you repaint my diner, you ocarina-playing pinhead!

Look, you'll just have to get her something else!

Like what?

Like, I don't know...

..these!

A pair of your old socks? No way.

OK, then. Let's just flip for it?

OK.

Your call.

Tails.

Heads. I win.

Double or quits?

Best of 907?

What you going to bet with? You've lost everything you own.

I'll bet you the treehouse.

The treehouse?

All or nothing. Tails.

It's got to come up sooner or later!

OK.

Wait. I'll flip the coin this time.

Two coins, stuck together with gum!

That's it. I'm taking back all this stuff.

And giving Bev Mani Mayhem!

But what am I going to give her?

Nooo!

I'm sorry, but without sprouts, it's not tradition. It...

Girls, what are you doing?

We're making the place look

Santalistically spectaculoso for tomorrow.

You know, to make up for before.

What's that smell?

-What smell?

-Can't smell anything.

It's this paint!

OMLG! It honks!

We can't have Christmas in here with it smelling like this!

Right, that's it. I've had enough!

We planned this whole thing

so we could have a family Christmas together.

But if you pair are so against this idea,

then we might as well just call it off.

Bev, look...

Oh, congratulations.

You've ruined the whole thing.

Do you know what day it is today, Sass?!

Yes! It's JUNE THE 24TH!

I see.

That's what you want, is it?

OK, well you've got it.

Well done.

Victory dance?

You know it!

Yes! Midsummer Christmas is totally over!

Oh, Good. I HATE Christmas!

Why? What's not to love?

Christmas crackers, presents, Christmas telly, presents,

Christmas food, presents -

did I mention presents?

Will you shut up about presents?!

Ouch. Hit a nerve, much?

Since when didn't anyone like presents?

Since last year, all right?!

When I found out my mum's been a big fat liar.

She's been giving me "super cool" presents from my dad for years,

telling me he'd sent them specially

from wherever he was with his lameoid band.

Your dad's in a band? That's cool!

That's not the point!

He never bothered sending me anything. It was all her.

I just wanted him to care about me!

But he doesn't.

And Christmas just brings it all back.

If it's any consolation...

I really miss my mum at Christmas too, like really, really bad.

You see? All this "family Christmas" stuff

is just a reminder of what we haven't got.

PHONE BEEPS

But still, no-one should hate Christmas that much.

In fact, I am determined, nay committed, nay...

Enough with the naying already.

Basically, I'm going to show you how amazing Christmas can be.

What about Middle Summer Fest?

It doesn't matter. Our family is more important.

Middle Summer Fest just got cancelled, didn't it?

Yup, rained off. Dede just texted me.

One Direction's tour bus

sank in the mud. Poor Zayn.

Anyway, this means that once again, Midsummer Christmas is go, go, go!

Oh, no... I knew you not having the right to give Bev Mani Mayhem

would push you over the edge.

Get real, why would I want to give Bev something as lame as that...

Come again?

..when I can give her something as amazing as this!

So, what do you think?

What is it?

Duh, the Christmas fairy!

'Christmas!'

More like the Christmas scary.

I knew I should've paid more attention

in Mrs Wigglebottom's craft class.

Just face it.

I've got Bev the best Christmas present ever.

You got her a pair of socks.

'My crown!'

Talking of which, where's the other one?

Nowhere.

Jake!

'Hello, I'm a pocket Jake!'

You need help.

Is it true Christmas is cancelled?

Yeah - unforeseen circumstances.

Anyway, I gave a lot of thought to your present.

I think I've got you the perfect thing.

Here you go...

Open it.

All my stuff.

You trying to tell me something, boss?

Well, like you said. Nothing lasts for ever.

True.

Well, I am 18 now.

I guess I'm ready to move on.

Yes, it's time.

Er, thanks.

See you, boss.

Cheers for everything.

Sorry, boss, I forgot my lucky spanner.

-You all right, boss?

-Yeah, er...

Why did you decide to go?

Me?! You just chucked me out!

I didn't want you to go!

I thought you wanted me to go.

What was I supposed to do, beg you to stay?

I didn't want you out.

Yes, you did! I heard you talking to Bev. You wanted my room.

I wanted Danny to move into Jake's room for a couple of days

and you could...

Shirl and Earl could go into yours for two nights.

But... But you said... I thought...

Come here, you big muppet.

You're the best, boss.

Put the kettle on.

There. All done. The smell is gone for ever.

And so have all my customers!

Not for long, Ms V!

Prepare to host the most tinseltastic Christmas dinner ever!

I'm booking this place out for a family feast!

In summer?

You know, of course, that Christmas dinner is double price?

Seriously? You'd charge me double

when I'm bringing you a Christmas miracle?

You're right. What am I thinking?

Christmas is no time to be acting like the Scrooge.

You can have it for one-and-a-half times the price.

As for you, my little donkey...

Here is your moolah - and your Christmas bonus. Go.

-Go to your festival!

-No way.

Like One Direction's coach, this chico's going nowhere.

Not until we have our own navidad con familia!

# 'Tis the season to be jolly

# Fa-la-la-la-la

# La-la-la-la! #

The turkey schnoodle is on me!

THEY CHEER

BEEPING

Smoke alarm! Stop! Stop!

PANS CRASHING

Awww, thanks, Ash! You always get me the best gifts!

-GASPS

-Mani Mayhem!

The nail-biting, nail-decorating video game.

You're welcome.

-Oh.

-What's wrong?

Nothing, just... I got you the same thing.

-Awww.

-So did I.

-Oh.

-And me.

-Me too.

I didn't.

Oh, cheers, Jake.

Thanks!

Socks.

It's time for my gifts. So...

-Danny...

-Thank you.

Jake... There you go, Keith...

Sadie...

SADIE GASPS

Yes! A gift voucher for Curlz 'n' Cuticles.

Yes! You've all got an unlimited supply of manis and pedis!

Manis and pedis?!

Let's have a look. Yes! You need it, hon.

You could grow carrots in them cuticles.

I know, that's what I was trying to do!

You're destroying my dream.

Well, I suppose I'd better give you my gifts, as well. There you are...

It's a gift voucher for a dad's and daughter's day out.

I promise to take a day off and do whatever you want to do.

Awsomemundo! Wait. You got Ashlii the same thing?

That's all right, isn't it?

Well, it's... It's...

It's better than all right. It's perfectamondo.

Seeing as we're family now.

-Family?

-Sure.

And it's time for a family tradition...

HE CLEARS THROAT

Note, young man...

# O! Deuwch, ffyddloniaid...

..pelting Dad with food. Get him!

This is the best non-Christmas Christmas Day ever!

# I wish it could be Christmas every day

# Let the bells ring out for Christmas... #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

Wait till the lads at school see this.

My cuticles have never felt so soft.

Happy Christmas, boys.