Episode 3 Sarah Jane's Alien Files

My name is Sarah Jane Smith and I defend the world from aliens.

These are my Alien Files. The collected information gathered by me

and the rest of the Bannerman Road gang about extra-terrestrials

that have threatened our planet and might do so again.

The universe is amazing.

Don't be fooled by what some people might tell you.

It's full of strange and wonderful life.

I've met so much of it out there among the stars, and here on Earth.

But not all of it is friendly.

Pay attention. Because one day Earth might be depending on you.

Entering the Alien Files this time

are the ultimate space warrior clones, the Sontarans.

Luke's creator Mrs Wormwood and her fearsome Bane Mother.

Mr Smith? I need you.

Luke, welcome back from university.

And without the dog, I see. An added bonus.

K-9 seems to like it in Oxford.

Said something about the stimulating company.

My sensors detect a highly volatile biological culture in that bag,

Luke. Have you encountered an alien threat to poison Earth's atmosphere?

No. That's my washing.

Analysis results would suggest incineration

of bio-infected fabrics.

No way, Mr Smith.

You're not burning my jeans. Mum will wash them and they'll be fine.

If you say so, Luke. But you wouldn't

if you had a spectrographic biogram instead of a nose.

Yes, well I don't.

And they'll be fine.

Mum said I need to talk to you about uploading to the Alien Files,

whatever that is.

Your input to the project would be very welcome.

The washing can wait. This is aliens.

We don't get enough of them in Oxford.

Tell me, what's it all about?

Sarah Jane is concerned that a time might come

when the world is in danger and neither she,

you, Clyde nor Rani are available to come to its aid.

So the Alien Files are like a manual that other people could use?

Precisely, Luke. Alien Files preparing to upload.

Information gathering commences in three, two, one...

Might I suggest that a suitable place to begin an inventory

of alien entities would be with one very closely connected to you.

You mean...

The being, other than Sarah Jane,

who likes to call herself your mother.

Mrs Wormwood.

Mrs Wormwood led the Bane force invading Earth,

taking the form of a red-headed human female,

as she is able to do using an image translator.

Quite a difference when she doesn't, though.

Indeed.

The natural form for the vast majority of the Bane

is a three-metre tall beige, tentacled creature with a shell.

The Bane are intelligent, fast moving and fierce.

Pads on their seven tentacles allow them to cling to walls and ceilings.

If any Bane fails in their mission, the punishment is being eaten alive.

To sum up, Mrs Wormwood is a Bane who took human form

when leading their invasion force by using her image translator.

But she can revert to her natural, tentacled state in seconds.

The Bane planned to invade Earth and acquire power over all humans.

And I was part of the plan.

Not that I knew it at the time.

It's amazing thinking back.

It seems like such a long time ago.

Technically speaking,

the Bane plan was in action before you were created.

That's right. When all this began,

I was still being programmed by Mrs Wormwood. I only found out

what had been happening afterwards when Maria told me.

She had just moved into Bannerman Road,

and everywhere, there were ads for this drink.

Bubbleshock! Contains Bane.

It was called Bubbleshock, and everyone was going mad for it.

There were even free buses laid on to take people

for a tour around the factory where they made it.

Although there were some who were not so keen, like Maria.

I don't get how this Bubbleshock stuff is supposed to work.

I don't care. It makes you feel wide-awake and stuff.

-And it tastes fab.

-I think it's disgusting.

You're one of the 2%.It doesn't work on 2% of people. That's a fact.

Sarah Jane had heard about this amazing new drink most kids

found irresistible, and was suspicious about the whole thing.

So she decided to investigate.

Sometimes when dealing with aliens

it's down to going with your instincts.

She knew there was something not quite right about this wonder drink.

A quick check on her scanner confirmed her suspicions.

-I knew it!

-Aliens were behind it.

But she didn't find the warmest of welcomes when she encountered

the woman behind Bubbleshock, Mrs Wormwood,

and as she was soon to discover, an alien in human form.

100% organic.

Yes, but organic what?

Don't be silly. I can hardly give away our recipe.

I checked with some scientists I know.

Your social circle sounds fascinating.

They tried to analyse a bottle of Bubbleshock.

What's the point of analysis?

It all chemicals and sweeteners and E-numbers.

The test of a drink, is in the tasting.

Meanwhile, on the tour of the factory, Maria's friend Kelsey

had wandered off to make a phone call. And was she in for a surprise!

Hiya, Sukey...

ALARM BEEPS

SHE SCREAMS

Kelsey had stumbled upon the form of Bane served by Mrs Wormwood

and the others, the Bane Mother.

The Bane Mother's huge tentacles are fearsome weapons.

And when failed Bane find themselves on the menu,

it's the Bane Mother that does the eating.

But the most important attribute of the Bane Mother

is the chemical that she secretes.

That was the secret ingredient of the Bubbleshock drink that was

intended to allow the Bane to take control of the population of Earth.

And to help in that plan, the Bane were making a perfect human

which they called the Archetype,

created from the DNA of tens of thousands of visitors to the factory.

And the Archetype was me.

Sorry, everyone. We seem to have some kind of emergency.

Because the Bane mother was highly sensitive to phone signals,

Kelsey's mobile had set off an alarm signal, and that was when I woke up.

Er...hello.

Um...hello.

-Who are you?.

-Who are you?

-I'm lost.

-I'm lost.

I didn't know what was happening, or who anyone was, even who I was.

I had the combined intelligence of thousands of humans

but right then I was pretty clueless about everything.

A harsh assessment of your grasp of your immediate surroundings.

But ultimately, an accurate one.

The one thing I did know was that I had to get away from that place.

And then this woman arrived.

Little did I know how important she was going to become in my life.

He helped me and my new friend Maria get away.

-What's that thing?

-Sonic lipstick.

-Search the perimeter.

She bundled me into this green thing she called a car.

And we had escaped!

I ended up here on Bannerman Road,

and it felt like home.

There was so much to take in.

Good job I'm a quick learner.

There was trying to understand what these two girls were on about,

for one thing.

This place is beautiful.

-Thank you.

-You're not so bad yourself.

-What does that mean?

-He's mine.

-Is that good or bad?

That's bad. That's very bad.

And then there was a bigger problem outside.

A huge thing with tentacles climbing up the house,

which even I could tell was not good.

But being ready to cope with the unknown

is all part of the deal when facing hostile aliens.

And that's definitely worth recording in the Alien Files.

The thing coming up the stairs was one of the Bane,

sent by Mrs Wormwood to get rid of Sarah Jane.

Die, Miss Smith. You and the squealing pigs.

This is not happening.

This is so not happening.

That contradicts the facts.

First the children, and then you, old woman.

Hey, less of the old!

Luckily, though, Sarah Jane had some alien bug repellent spray around,

which can stop any Bane in its tracks.

And that bought her some thinking time.

That's mine!

It's the drink.

It's that ingredient, Bane.

Well, it's organic.

It's more than that. It's alive.

Species identified, Bane.

It isn't just an ingredient. It's an alien.

She worked out that Mrs Wormwood was using the Bane chemical

in Bubbleshock to gain control of Earth's population.

And they had created me

as an experiment to try and find a way to make the Bane chemical

irresistible to the 2% of people who didn't like it.

-Mr Smith?

-Yes, Sarah Jane.

-I need you.

Time for Sarah Jane to have a quiet word with Mrs Wormwood.

Using you, Mr Smith, to hack into the frequency

of the Bubbleshock communications system.

That's like their phone number.

Connecting.

-Mrs Wormwood.

-Oh, very clever.

I know who you are and what you are.

Bane. Now leave this planet.

-And if I don't?

-Then... I'll have to do something.

Very well.

In the language of your young ones,

bring it on.

Now that Sarah Jane was on to her,

Mrs Wormwood went for the more direct approach.

Mother, events have escalated.

We must declare war on mankind.

Open your mind, Mother.

You must convert the humans containing Bane.

They will convert the rest.

Let this become Bane World.

The Bane Mother began to exercise mind control

over all Bubbleshock lovers.

And as everyone else seemed to be falling under the Bane spell,

it was down to Sarah Jane, Maria and I to stop Mrs Wormwood.

We've got to get to the factory.

-I'm coming with you!

-You are staying here.

Dad!

-Drink it.

-Dad, no. Dad!

-Drink it.

Keep going. The only thing we can do is get to the factory.

When they got there they discovered the Bubbleshock factory

had been secured with a deadlock seal.

What's that noise?

Not that Sarah Jane let that stop her.

Miss Smith.

I warned you, leave this planet.

-But Mrs Wormwood had a surprise up

-her

-sleeve, too.

Mother, descend and consume them.

I've got this.

Maria remembered how the Bane Mother reacted to mobile phone signals.

The device is tiny. Now you're angered the Bane Mother.

That didn't work.

But I had picked up something in the attic I thought just might do better.

-You forgot this.

-What is that?

-A signal device from another world.

-And what of it?

-Like a mobile phone. Only, to call across the stars.

It must be a million times more powerful.

-Good thing you don't know our frequency.

-Mr Smith said it aloud.

But that's dozens of numbers.

I remember them.

You gave me the memory of 10,000 humans.

Stop him!

Calling the Bane!

ALARM BEEPS

You were less than one day old, Luke,

and you had already saved the world

by destroying the Bubbleshock manufacturing plant.

Like I say, "I'm a quick learner."

I would be dead without you, we all would.

You're amazing. The pair of you, amazing!

This is happiness, yes.

Oh, yes. We did it.

-We did it.

-There was a lot to be happy about.

I was free from Mrs Wormwood and the Bane.

Sarah Jane agreed to adopt me as a son and I got a new name.

I like Luke, less of a mouthful than the Archetype,

and I'm not sure how that would have gone down at school.

"The" would certainly have been an unusual first name.

But, more importantly, I got myself a mum.

Although, as we discovered,

Sarah Jane still had competition for that position.

Yeah, that's right. I'd settled in, started at school and made friends,

helped save the world a few times.

Indeed, you had helped Sarah Jane foil the Slitheen's plan

to extinguish the sun and being instrumental

in opposing the evil intentions of Kudlak.

Then I had a nightmare.

This was all really weird. I don't usually have dreams.

Hello, Luke.

Least of all, about her.

Then, next morning Rani was at the door with really bad news.

Rani...

My mum,

she's disappeared.

Gita had last been seen at her florists' shop.

So, we headed straight there where we found a cheque signed by...

Mrs Wormwood.

But this was no ordinary cheque.

You put us right on that, Mr Smith.

The cheque is for the Mercian Bank

but the sort code and account digits are not what they purport to be.

So, what are they?

They form a tectric-biaxial numeric code.

Deciphering now.

It's an address!

And, at that address, Sarah Jane and Rani found Gita.

Mum!

And, you can guess who else.

I thought it would be better this way.

Fewer witnesses.

Mrs Wormwood...

Sarah Jane Smith...

Still involving children in your dangerous games.

What do you want?

I want...

Your help.

I beg your pardon?

Believe me, I take no pleasure in this, Miss Smith.

That was a surprise, and a bigger one was to come.

It's a trap!

Oh no, it's me they're after.

Surrender.

Or be devoured.

I'll never surrender.

They were Bane but it seemed to be Mrs Wormwood

who they were most interested in hunting down.

She fended them off with her phonic disrupter and ran for it.

Mrs Wormwood being chased by her own kind.

No-one had seen that coming.

Sarah Jane!

And here was another unexpected twist.

Mrs Wormwood, my mum's sworn enemy, saving her life.

So, what was this all about?

Why had the rest of the Bane turned on Mrs Wormwood?

I don't understand, why are the Bane after you?

My mission on Earth was a failure

for which I was cast out from the Bane kindred.

That's why they're hunting you?

No. I am hunted because I want to stop them taking over the Galaxy.

Mrs Wormwood trying to saving the Galaxy.

Almost as unbelievable as her visiting this attic.

This is from where you save the world.

How comfortingly unsophisticated.

It was a weird situation.

Sarah Jane is my mum, she brought me up but Mrs Wormwood had made me.

She brought me to life and here she was, right here in this attic.

I made you rather handsome, didn't I? For a human.

And, there can't be anyone at your school to match your intelligence.

Just get to the point.

Have you ever heard the legend of Horath?

Of the Dark Empire?

No...

Mr Smith?

The Dark Empire was a period of tyrannical galactic rule

by a mysterious and reportedly immortal alien entity called Horath,

who crushed the civilisations of all but the most primitive planets.

Horath was defeated, but couldn't be killed.

So his body and his consciousness were divided

and they were hidden at opposite ends of the Galaxy.

Are you saying that the Bane have found Horath?

His consciousness, in the Caldian Cluster.

They have a mercenary agent bringing it to Earth.

And, don't tell me, this is where they hid the other half, right?

3,000 years ago there was nowhere more primitive than Earth.

Little has changed.

Mum agreed to help, after some precautionary measures.

-Mr Smith, contain Mrs Wormwood.

-Instantly!

-What treachery is this?

-You'll be perfectly safe while I'm gone.

How can you know that? The Bane have agents everywhere.

Mum and Rani headed to the unit's legendary and secret

black archive of alien objects and information.

It's huge.

The most extensive collection of alien artefacts anywhere on Earth.

They were in search of a scroll

which said where the body of the entity,

Horath, was hidden.

Working with Mrs Wormwood like this was hardly an ideal option but

it's worth putting in Alien Files

that sometimes there is no ideal option.

And this plan had to be better than the rest of the Bane

getting their hands on the body of Horath

as well as its consciousness and taking control of the Galaxy.

Sarah Jane had the scroll.

DOORBELL RINGS

While back on Bannerman Road, Clyde and I were not expecting visitors.

Sorry, this isn't a good time.

Especially this kind...

Luke! Luke, it's the one-eyed squidy thing!

Something's happened.

They've found me. They'll eat me alive.

You'll have to help me, Luke. I am your mother!

Sarah Jane had left strict instructions

not to release Mrs Wormwood under any circumstances.

What could I do? Whatever Mrs Wormwood had done in the past,

I couldn't just leave her for the Bane to eat her.

We have to escape the back way.

-What's she doing out?

-We couldn't leave her.

-Are you ready?

-OK.

-On three.

-On three.

-One...

Forget it, run!

Mrs Wormwood said the Bane were after her to punish her

for failing in the Bubbleshock plan.

-Go back.

-The phonic disrupter isn't working.

Although we started to get an idea all was not what it seemed

when an even more unexpected visitor made an appearance.

And, saved Mrs Wormwood's skin.

Kaagh, such perfect timing.

The last person I was expecting was Sontaran Commander Kaagh.

We'd only recently sent him back to Sontar

after he'd tried to destroy the Earth.

Perhaps outline your previous encounter with Commander Kaagh?

OK, let's start with a data profile.

The Sontarans originate from the planet, Sontar, in Mutter's Spiral.

They are all identical in appearance.

Humanoid with grey/brown skin, stocky bodies and large heads.

Or as Clyde calls them, the baked spuds from outer space.

How very Clyde!

They are a proud and war-loving race obsessed with honour in battle.

While others, such as the Daleks,

might pride themselves on their war-like qualities

the Sontarans have been cloned as the perfect fighting species.

One major Sontaran weakness, however, is that a blow

to the probic vent on the back of their necks,

where they absorb energy, can stun or even kill them.

That's how we stopped Kaagh when he attacked Earth once before.

He planned to crash satellites into power plants across the world

until Maria's mum put the boot in.

Indeed...

The Sontarans are war obsessed and fearless.

This clone race of fighting machines are single-minded opponents.

We packed him back to Sontar and didn't expect

to hear from him again in a hurry.

So seeing him back teamed up with Mrs Wormwood

that's what you'd call double trouble.

And soon Sarah Jane Smith shall lead us to Horath

and make us emperors of the Galaxy.

She will crawl before me as we crush her world.

When Sarah Jane returned with the scroll she found Mrs Wormwood

wasn't being so friendly any more.

Give me the scroll.

-Don't do it, Sarah Jane.

-Oh, I suggest you do

or Kaagh will disintegrate your friends, one at a time.

What a surprise!

Mrs Wormwood with Kaagh at her side was hatching an evil plan after all.

You're mad. It will destroy you.

The Bane's plan had been to tap into the awesome power

of the ancient entity, Horath,

by uniting its body with its consciousness

but Kaagh had stolen its consciousness from them.

Now Mum had brought them the scroll which said where Horath's body was,

Mrs Wormwood and Kaagh

were planning to become rulers of the Galaxy together.

The eye of Horath,

begins to open,

and the Galaxy shall tremble.

But the cracks were starting to appear

in the Wormwood and Kaagh alliance.

Kaagh, The Slayer,

Kaagh, The Shambles, more like.

Ouch! That phonic disrupter of Mrs Wormwood's hurts.

Now, do we understand each other?

Yes.

You always knew that partnership would have its problems.

Indeed. The collaboration between two power-hungry aliens

like Wormwood and Kaagh had a fatal flaw.

However much they needed one another neither could trust the other.

Those problems only got worse

when we reached the Stone Circle where Horath's body was located.

This is it. The birthplace of a new galactic eon.

The age of Wormwood.

And Kaagh.

If you really want the Empire to sound like a firm of solicitors.

No female can rule an Empire alone.

You need me, Wormwood.

And Kaagh's suspicions seemed to be confirmed as a portal began to open

and I suddenly seemed to be part of Mrs Wormwood's plans

for galactic domination.

Soon the most almighty power in the universe will be ours.

What treachery is this, Bane?

The half born has no place in our bargain.

Consider our arrangement terminated!

Join me.

It was a no brainer.

What would I want with being the ruler of a galaxy?

It's complicated enough being a teenager!

My son.

Luke!

Mum!

Thank goodness you're all right.

Mrs Wormwood was going it alone

and about to unleash the powers of Horath.

Well, Kaagh had been humiliated.

It's worth putting in the Alien Files when a Sontaran's pride

has been dented that's when they're at their most dangerous.

I've been a disgrace to Sontar.

I've betrayed the brotherhood of warriors.

With your deaths, the age of Wormwood, shall begin!

Get down!

What happened?

Mrs Wormwood was about to discharge and Kaagh pushed her into the portal.

I think it overloaded the system.

I thought I'd seen a lot of crazy stuff,

but the universe saved by a Sontaran.

That's not something you come across every day.

Mrs Wormwood underestimated Sontaran pride.

Her use of Kaagh as a henchman ultimately reminded him

of his lost, if questionable, valour as a Sontaran warrior.

The big question is, what happened to both of them

when Kaagh pushed Mrs Wormwood into the vortex?

I kind of hope we never find out.

To conclude, Luke...

Uploading three new entries into the Alien Files

as a permanent record

for all to learn about these deadly threat's to Earth's safety.

The Sontarans...

War obsessed and totally fearless.

This clone race of fighting machines are single-minded opponents.

They are driven by pride

but that can also be their downfall.

Mrs Wormwood...

The human form taken by this leader of the Bane invasion force.

When not using her image translator,

she reverts to her tentacled Bane form,

allowing her to cling to walls and ceilings.

She seeks power over all humans.

Don't trust her.

The Bane Mother.

Bigger than the rest of the Bane.

Her huge tentacles are fearsome weapons.

The chemical she secretes can allow the Bane

to control those who drink it.

She eats her enemies,

so always keep your distance.

This is Luke Smith logging off after Alien Files update

and, if you encounter either Mrs Wormwood or Kaagh,

then good luck. You'll need it.