Out of This World Scoop


Out of This World

Digby wants to launch Hacker into orbit to try and win a space-themed photo competition. With a year's supply of pizza on offer for the winner, Hacker agrees.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

# Time is running out

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# Stories to be found

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# What's it all about?

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# Got to go and check around

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# If there's a rumour going round

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# Don't you forget it

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# Whenever something's going down

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# Got to get that scoop

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# Got to get that scoop

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# Got to get that scoop

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# Got to get that S-C-O-O-P! #

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HE SNORES, BIRDS TWITTER

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SQUELCH

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ALARM BEEPS

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HE SNORES, ALARM BEEPS

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MUSIC BOX PLAYS

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-TEDDY:

-Ah, time to wake up, sleepy head.

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Oi! Clutterbutts, get your big bottom outta bed

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or I'll put worms in your Y-fronts!

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BEEPING

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Paperboy!

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TOY MOUSE SQUEAKS

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HE ROARS

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THUMPING AND CRASHING

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Ha-ha!

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Mwah.

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Argh!

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Yes, Planet Paolo is proud to present

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the jumping Jupiter jalapeno pepperoni pizza.

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'Another star from our intergalactic menu,

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'because we're simply out of this world!

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'And don't forget,

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'all our pizzas are served with rocket dressing.

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'Mmm!

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'# Nothing beats a Paolo Pizza

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'# You can eat them hot or cold... #'

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I've got the paper, Hacker.

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My report on the Pilbury raft race should be in it today.

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They leant us that special unsinkable raft,

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the only one of its kind. And it sank.

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"Raft race reporter's ridicule."

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Don't look at me like that. It must have been faulty.

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Now, what's for breakfast?

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Have we got any pizza left?

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Today is the last day of Planet Paolo's photo competition.

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If you want to win a year's supply of pizza, just send me

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a space-age photo of anything that is simply out of this world!

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'Yes, that's right, a year's supply of any one of my fantastic pizzas,

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'maybe the Venusian, or the spicy solar hot one.

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'Or, for you fungi fiends, there's the Mercurian margarita.'

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-IN SLOW, ROBOTIC VOICE:

-Oh, pizza. Yum!

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Yeah! Pizza, yum.

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Yes, Planet Paolo, the place for pizza.

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CAMERA CLICKS

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Do you know what, Hacker, I don't think there's

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anyone in Pilbury that hasn't entered this photo competition.

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Except you, of course.

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-MOON LANDING FOOTAGE:

-'The Eagle has landed.

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'Roger, we copy you on the ground.'

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I stand corrected.

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All right then, go on then, bark "cheese".

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You're wasting your time, you know.

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I've got something here

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that will guarantee me winning the competition.

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Get your paws off. I'm expecting a phone call from Max at any moment.

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He's due to call any minute now.

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He said he would.

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I'm sure he will.

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CLOCK TICKS

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I'll tell you what, I'll call him

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just to check he's going to call me.

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PHONE RINGS

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Max De Lacey, editor of The Pilbury Post

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and winner of Planet Paolo's Out Of This World competition...

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Boss! You're entering the competition too?

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Yeah, why not? I'm telling you, Digby, to make it really big

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you shouldn't be afraid to get your hands dirty. Hang on.

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What is it now, Simon?

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I think I'm allergic, sir.

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Oh, ah, lergic.

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Allergic. Lergic.

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Good name. From the planet Lerge.

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MAX CHUCKLES

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I won't be needing you to cover any stories today, Digby.

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'I'm devoting today's edition entirely to Planet Paolo's.'

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That should help decide who wins this competition.

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Oh!

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Now, say "cheese".

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HE TAKES PICTURE

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OK, Hacker, stop acting like a roast chicken and get unwrapped.

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We are going to take a prize-winning photo,

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and you are going to need this.

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Don't worry. It's guaranteed. I got it off the internet.

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Oh!

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HACKER WHIMPERS

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Look, I keep telling you, Hacker, there's nothing to worry about.

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I don't think so, anyway.

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Oh, you've noticed that, have you? That's going to be you!

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It's really safe, look.

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It says "Not tested on humans" so it's got to be safe for dogs.

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It's really simple, look.

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All I do is I add the solid fuel pellet to the water there.

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Then I secure the digital ignition release mechanism.

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-And then I take a photo as you zoom across the sky!

-Uhhh...

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Oh!

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If you won't do it for me, do it for the pizzas.

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This prize could be ours.

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HACKER GRUMBLES

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Well, done, Hacker.

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You're gonna be the first dog in space!

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Not the first dog in space, actually,

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the first one to come back. Probably.

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-All right Mr Dungworth?

-Digworth!

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-Can I have my flying saucer back?

-This is for your competition photo?

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It's very good, Carl. A little bit on the small side.

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HACKER BARKS ANXIOUSLY

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It's all right. Calm down, Hacker. Calm down.

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HACKER GROWLS

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Carl Pringle!

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Oh, sorry, Mr Dungworth(!)

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DIG-worth!

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I'll take that, shall I?

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A paddling pool flying saucer!

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I don't think so, Carl, eh?

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HACKER HUMS INNOCENTLY

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Sorry about that, Hacker.

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Well, this is it.

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The point...of no return.

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Five!

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Four!

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Three!

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Two!

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Hang on.

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Five, four, three, two...

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One!

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Zero!

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HACKER SIGHS

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I don't know what happened there.

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Hold on to me camera a mo.

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Maybe the fuel pellet hadn't dissolved properly.

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I can see what it is, look. The string had broken!

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Woo-hoo-hoo!

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Whoa! Yes! We have lift-off!

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Camera. Hacker, give me my camera.

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All right, you take the picture.

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Just don't panic! Don't panic!

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I hope he's all right.

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Woo-hoo-hoo!

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Wow!

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BUTTONS BEEP

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Splashdown. He's going to need something to splash down in.

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It's all right, Hacker.

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I've got you!

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I've got you!

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Hacker.

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Hacker, are you all right?

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-HACKER WHIMPERS

-Thank goodness.

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Now, where's the camera? Did you get the shot?

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A year's supply of pizza for the most out-of-this-world photo.

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And what's our picture?

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-A compost heap!

-Ow!

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Whoah! Whoah-oah!

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Whoah-oah!

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Did you hear something, Hacker?

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Whoah! Whoah!

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Whoah! Whoah!

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Very good, Carl. Is that your latest effort, an out of this world alien?

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Pizza!

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You're never going to win with this costume.

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I can see where the head's stitched on there. And the sleeves!

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Look at the state of that! Oi, Carl.

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Grab the other sleeve and give him a tug.

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Carl? It's you!

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That's not you. You're you!

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-Mr Dungworth?

-Digworth.

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-Then who are you?

-Pizza!

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It's a real alien! A pizza-loving alien!

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Hacker, where's the camera?

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This could be the biggest story The Pilbury Post has ever had!

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A year's supply of pizza, more like.

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I've got to get my mobile.

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Let's get him out of here before Carl comes back.

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This is our scoop. Come on.

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-Pizza!

-Yes, lots of lovely pizza.

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Where's that alien?

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No!

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'Iglick! Iglick! Iglick!'

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We've lost him.

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Nothing can stop us now!

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Whoah!

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SPLASHING

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We can't go down there.

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It's much too dangerous.

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The biggest story in the history of Pilbury, gone...

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down the drain. Where did you get that from?

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HACKER GRUMBLES

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I've got it!

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-ECHOING BELOW:

-Pizza!

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Yes, yes, it's just struck me.

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You're a dog.

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Yes, we know you're a dog,

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but you can use your amazing hearing to track him.

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Oh.

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HACKER MUTTERS

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This way?

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Are you sure?

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-BUBBLING

-I can hear him surfacing.

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I'm sorry, I thought you were a creature from outer space.

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I can explain.

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No, listen...listen to me.

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THUMP

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Blaagh!

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Pizza!

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Pizza? Of course! Now I know where he's heading.

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'Iglick! Iglick! Iglick!'

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-RADIO:

-'And don't forget there's only a couple of hours left

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'to get your out-of-this-world pictures

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'to Paolo's Planet Pizza Parlour.'

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Oh...pizza!

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Yum.

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With this bait and your powers of hearing, Hacker,

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we'll have a picture of that alien in no time.

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-TRACKING DEVICE:

-'Pizza.'

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What is it?

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By the tent?

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Come to Digby.

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Come to Digby. Gotcha!

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Oh, no, I can explain. Ugh!

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Ahhh! Hacker! Hacker!

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Anything, Hacker? A real-life alien and we've lost him.

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Who's going to believe us without a photo? We've got to get him back.

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And it's times like these that every top reporter needs a source!

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No, Hacker, not pizza sauce, source of information.

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Sid the Source!

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HE DIALS PHONE

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Sid, what do you know about weird and strange forms of life?

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Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, Digby.

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Not me. Little green men. What do you know about them?

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If they're not blinking, it's safe to cross the road.

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This is serious, Sid. We found a real-life pizza-loving alien.

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Positive proof of extraterrestrial beings.

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-Oh, congratulations. What's your problem?

-We lost him.

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Oh, that's a bit careless, isn't it?

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Well, you know the drill.

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Doggy bank, Hacker.

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Although the answer's so simple I hardly like to take your money.

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But I'll force myself.

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HE RATTLES PIGGY-BANK

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Well, the thing is, you gotta...

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PNEUMATIC DRILL DROWNS OUT SPEECH

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..and that's all there is to it.

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Would you mind repeating that, please, Sid.

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What I said was, that the...

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PNEUMATIC DRILL DROWNS OUT SPEECH

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-..and that's all there is to it, got it?

-Only up until "Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr"!

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Would you mind turning the drill off, for a moment?

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Ah, sorry. Holes don't dig themselves, you know?

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Time is money, if you know what I mean.

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Well, a pizza-loving alien.

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Where do you think you'd go?

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-RADIO:

-'# Nothing beats a Paolo's Pizza... #'

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Paolo's Pizza, it's out of this world!

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# Nothing beats a Paolo's Pizza

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# You can have them hot or cold

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# Space-aged pizza

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# They're out of this world! #

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Ah, my little pizza bambinos, soon you will have a new home

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with the winner of my competition, but their photograph

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will have to be really out of this world to deserve all of you!

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CLICKING AND CRASHING

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Pizza, yum!

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Sid was right, where else would a pizza-loving alien go?

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But it looks like someone has got here before us.

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All right, Mr Dungworth?

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-Digworth.

-Alien bait. You might as well give up,

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I'm just about to take the winning photo.

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This is a huge news story, Carl.

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You have to see the big picture.

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Good idea, I'll get enlargements made.

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No, this is history in the making.

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I know, I'm going to win a year's supply of pizza!

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At times like this, Hacker,

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do you know what every top reporter's sidekick needs?

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No, this.

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HACKER SQUEALS AND TREMBLES

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ENGINES ROAR

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Oh, another alien!

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Half vegetable, half dog. I've got to get a shot of that.

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LADLES CLATTER

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< Pizza, yum.

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< Pizza, yum.

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Pizza, yum.

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ALIEN BURPS

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The first alien to visit the Earth and I've got his picture!

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Do you know what people will say?

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-ALIEN GOBBLES FOOD NOISILY

-Shhh!

0:20:100:20:13

PHONE RINGS

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What's keeping him?

0:20:190:20:21

Max!

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Oh, Digby, what are you whispering for?

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Ah, caught you. You are here to pincha my pizza!

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Digby,

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-'are you listening to me?'

-No, I'm not.

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Digby, what's got into you?

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-Yummm!

-And who is this?

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An alien.

0:20:410:20:42

An alien's got into you?

0:20:420:20:45

It is a man in a ridiculous costume.

0:20:450:20:47

'Yeah, yeah, whatever.'

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The thing is, my competition photo...

0:20:490:20:52

'I think Paolo may need a little persuading.'

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Please don't hurt him.

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I didn't plan to. I want you to interview him, be nice to him.

0:20:560:20:59

-'You're a thief!'

-Who is that shouting?

0:20:590:21:01

You realise you cannot win the prize,

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so instead you come here to pinch my pizzas.

0:21:040:21:06

Pass him over.

0:21:060:21:07

'Now, look here, you,'

0:21:090:21:11

I'm trying to have a conversation.

0:21:110:21:13

So can you just put a sock in it for a minute?

0:21:130:21:15

Do you know to who you are talking?

0:21:150:21:17

I am Paolo of Planet Paolo Pizza Parlour.

0:21:170:21:21

-Oh, do you know who I am?

-'No.'

-Good.

0:21:210:21:25

Yummm!

0:21:270:21:30

You, and you are not coming out

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-of here until you pay for all these pizzas.

-Yummm!

0:21:320:21:34

And you...

0:21:340:21:36

You are disqualified from the competition.

0:21:360:21:39

-BLENDER WHIRRS

-No! My camera. My photo!

0:21:410:21:46

Whoa, a vegetable alien.

0:21:480:21:50

I bet you're from Alpha Centauri.

0:21:500:21:52

Do you speak English?

0:21:520:21:55

HACKER WHINES

0:21:550:21:57

May I take your picture?

0:21:570:21:59

Oh, let me just turn you a bit.

0:22:010:22:03

Oh, you're not from another planet.

0:22:050:22:07

You're from next door. I'm going back to find the real alien.

0:22:070:22:12

Oh, Hacker, the biggest story of my life, gone.

0:22:170:22:22

It doesn't get any worse than this.

0:22:220:22:25

VOICE FROM SPACESHIP: Earthlings, you have captured one of our race.

0:22:250:22:28

You have ten minutes to return your captive

0:22:280:22:31

or say goodbye to the Earth.

0:22:310:22:33

Wrong again.

0:22:330:22:35

Hacker,

0:22:350:22:37

this is a moment of destiny.

0:22:370:22:40

The whole future of the human race, every one, every thing,

0:22:400:22:45

rests on our shoulders.

0:22:450:22:47

This is our time.

0:22:470:22:50

And do you know how that makes me feel?

0:22:500:22:52

Frightened! Ah!

0:22:540:22:57

HE CRIES

0:22:570:22:59

Ah, I need more staff! >

0:23:000:23:04

Mama mia!

0:23:080:23:10

Oh!

0:23:100:23:11

-IN ITALIAN ACCENT:

-I don't-a suppose you're looking for any new chefs-a?

0:23:140:23:18

Yes! Oh, thank the lucky stars.

0:23:180:23:20

All my prize pizzas have been eaten.

0:23:200:23:22

I have to make fresh.

0:23:220:23:24

-Are you familiar with pizzas?

-Very.

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Have you been making pizzas a long time?

0:23:280:23:31

Oh, as long as I've been wearing this chef's hat.

0:23:310:23:35

Perfecto! You can make the bases.

0:23:350:23:38

No ploblemas. Where's the packeto?

0:23:380:23:40

Packets? No packets, my friend.

0:23:400:23:43

All fresh dough. All you have to do is spin it on your finger.

0:23:430:23:48

Yes, of cours-a!

0:23:480:23:50

Earth, you only have three minutes left.

0:23:530:23:56

SQUELCH, CLATTERING

0:24:010:24:03

You idiot. What do you think you're doing?

0:24:040:24:08

Sorry, escuse, it was not-a me-a, it was him-a.

0:24:080:24:14

What is that? What is that?

0:24:140:24:16

It is a rat in a hat!

0:24:160:24:19

I'll splat that rat.

0:24:190:24:21

Carl Pringle!

0:24:270:24:29

HACKER WHIMPERS

0:24:290:24:31

Ah!

0:24:310:24:33

You no come in my kitchen! I'll get you. Come here!

0:24:400:24:45

I'll show you! You don't go near my pizza!

0:24:450:24:48

-Mr Dungworth.

-Digworth.

0:24:480:24:51

Look, never mind the photo,

0:24:510:24:53

we've got to get him out of here or his people will destroy the planet.

0:24:530:24:56

-VOICE FROM SPACESHIP:

-Earthlings, 30 seconds.

0:24:560:24:59

Oh...

0:24:590:25:00

You!

0:25:000:25:02

No, no, you don't understand.

0:25:020:25:04

He's a real alien, we've got to get him out.

0:25:040:25:07

Oh, yes? Oh, yes, or what?

0:25:070:25:09

-10, 9, 8, 7...

-A flying saucer will bombard us with lasers?

0:25:090:25:14

-6, 5, 4...

-I think you'll have to do better than that.

0:25:140:25:17

3, 2, 1...

0:25:170:25:20

Zero.

0:25:200:25:22

Time's up, Earthlings.

0:25:220:25:24

Ah! It's no good, we can't get him through the door.

0:25:280:25:31

It's all those pizzas, you've put on too much weight.

0:25:310:25:34

All right, you only put on a little bit of weight.

0:25:340:25:36

THUMPING

0:25:360:25:38

We're doomed.

0:25:380:25:39

HE BURPS

0:25:390:25:41

Say that again?

0:25:410:25:42

We're doomed!

0:25:420:25:45

No, the other bit.

0:25:450:25:47

HE BURPS

0:25:470:25:48

That's it, Paolo.

0:25:480:25:49

Pass me that bottle of lemonade.

0:25:490:25:51

THUMPING

0:25:510:25:52

Yum!

0:25:570:25:58

Urrh! Come on, Carl!

0:25:580:26:01

BUBBLING

0:26:010:26:03

Stand back, everyone!

0:26:070:26:09

Whoah-oah-oah!

0:26:130:26:15

ALL: Ahhh!

0:26:150:26:16

HACKER COUGHS

0:26:160:26:18

Thank you, Earthlings. Thank you, Digby Dungworth.

0:26:260:26:30

Digworth! If only I had my camera,

0:26:300:26:34

the scoop of the century at my fingertips.

0:26:340:26:36

Your phone!

0:26:360:26:39

Yes!

0:26:390:26:42

Hey, you. What I want to know is...

0:26:440:26:47

who is going to pay for the hole in my roof?

0:26:470:26:49

HE TAKES PICTURE

0:26:490:26:50

Ah, hot off the press, Simon.

0:27:020:27:05

Another award-winning front page, no doubt.

0:27:050:27:08

"Reporter wrecks roof"...

0:27:120:27:15

Photo competition cancelled?

0:27:150:27:17

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:370:27:39

E-mail [email protected]

0:27:390:27:42

Digby Digworth wants to launch Hacker into orbit to try and win a space-themed photo competition. Hacker only agrees as the top prize is a year's supply of pizza!

The rocket-propelled mission attracts the attention of a pizza-loving alien, but can Digby get the ultimate shot of extraterrestrial life?


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