Now That's Magic Scoop

# Time is running out

# Stories to be found

# What's it all about?

# Got to go and check around

# If there's a rumour going round

# Don't you forget it

# Wherever something's going down

# Got to get that scoop

# Got to get that scoop

# Got to get that scoop

# Got to get that S-C-O-O-P. #

-COMPUTER BLEEPS

-Digby.

Digby. Are you listening to me?

Just five more minutes.

-Digby!

-You said five more minutes.

-Digby, that was 12 hours ago!

-I just need to finish this level.

-It's for three-to-five-year-olds.

You've been on level one ten days.

I had the screen the wrong way up for eight, so it's two.

-I'm about to show you my next amazing trick.

-Hacker.

It's not Hacker any more - it's The Amazing Hackeraza,

the most incredible amateur magician in all of Pilbury!

The ONLY amateur magician in Pilbury, thank goodness.

Before your very eyes, I will make this pork pie completely disappear.

I simply cover it with a magic handkerchief...

like that

and we both close our eyes and say, "Meaty, meaty, moo,"

and it's completely...

..vanished! Yes, gone. Wow! It really worked.

-I must be getting good at this. Oi!

-It's a very good trick.

Now, give me a teaspoon.

For my next trick, I will make it stick to your forehead.

-There aren't any.

-There are loads of...

I don't believe it. You've not washed up for the last month.

-I've been busy with this game.

-You're the least active person I know.

I'm the only dog in Pilbury who never has walkies.

When you saw a flyer for the fun run, you had to lie down and cry.

Didn't you? And all you do is play on that computer.

I go to work, don't I? PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

-Digworth! You've not been in the office for two weeks.

-Have you missed me?

-'Shut up.'

You may know the editor of The Gilbury Gazette

has put their clocks forward by one hour,

-to keep them ahead of the game.

-Good idea.

-Not as good as mine.

I've gone one better and put ours forward by an entire day! Ha-ha!

Now, that's initiative.

I expect you here in ten minutes to present your next story idea.

-Your watch or my watch?

-Pardon?

-All this clock changing.

Do you want me tomorrow, today, or should I have come yesterday?

Come now, you idiot! This story better be AMAZING!

What am I going to do? I need something to write about.

Digby, what have we just been talking about?

The answer's right in front of you. The Amazing Hacker...

Yes, the amazing Pilbury Fun Run. Brilliant idea! Max'll love this.

All I have to do is sit watching the joggers go by.

We've got ten minutes to pitch it,

-or we'll be writing horoscopes for the next year.

-Not the fun run.

The greatest magician in town!

Give it up, Hacker. You're making yourself look stupid.

And if there's one thing I can't stand,

it's people looking stupid.

CLATTERING AND SPLUTTERING

-That doesn't sound good.

-Hacker, I know about cars, all right?

It may look shabby,

but the one thing this beauty won't do is break down.

ENGINE CLUNKS

Right.

-The engine's in the back in this car.

-Ha-ha! Not any more.

I swapped it!

Oh...

budgies!

Hey-hey!

ENGINE STARTS

ENGINE PURRS

ENGINE CUTS OUT

ENGINE STARTS

ENGINE CUTS OUT

ENGINE STARTS

ENGINE CUTS OUT

ENGINE STARTS

ENGINE PURRS

-I'm just going to get a paper.

-You're a reporter...in a way.

You never read a paper!

Digby?

Digby!

-Go, go, go!

-YOU'RE the driver!

HE PANTS AND GASPS

-Digworth, why are you so out of breath?

-It's the fifth floor!

-Why not use the lift?

-I did take the lift!

Never mind that. Have you got a story?

-Have I got a story!

-That's what I asked.

Well, the answer's yes.

I'm going to do... the Pilbury Fun Run.

-Ah, good grief, man!

-All right, I'm sorry. I'll think of something else.

-It's brilliant!

-What? You mean you like it?

Oh, I love it. Ha-ha! That's a real scoop!

Did you hear that, Hacker? A real scoop.

-Finally, I'm getting the respect I deserve.

-Oh! Ah!

-Now, listen. Are you sure you want to do this?

-Well, yeah.

Clarabelle, send a memo to everyone in the office.

The fun run starts in two hours, and Digby is going to run it for us.

Then he'll report on his experiences in the newspaper tomorrow.

-I can't...

-Wait to get started? I like where you're coming from.

-I don't want to...

-Hog the limelight? Don't be modest - be proud.

-But, sir, I don't want to RUN the fun run.

-You want to WIN it. Attaboy!

Let me explain to you why this means so much to us.

One year ago, we sent a reporter to take part in the fun run.

Our best man, Bob Bobson. He ran his heart out for The Pilbury Post,

but little did we know our hated rivals The Gilbury Gazette

had entered a runner, too. Their guy was fast. Real fast.

So fast he won the race and broke the course record.

They never let us forget it.

We need you to break the course record. Do it for me.

Do it for The Pilbury Post. Do it for the memory of Bob Bobson!

You mean...he died?

I sacked him. Couldn't run. Waste of space.

If you break that record, it's front-page news.

The race starts in two hours.

We need a way to convince Max that I can't do it.

But you can do it. It's not as if you're injured or anything.

That's it!

-Bite me.

-That's not very nice.

-If you take a chunk out of my leg, I won't have to race.

-Ooh!

I don't bite people. I'd have to be SO angry to do anything like that.

Really?

Ho-ho-ho! Dear me. This is all right, innit, eh? Mm!

Put it in, then out, and horse.

Eating these spicy Italian meatballs that Hacker brought in for his lunch.

Mm! Ooh! I dread to think what Hacker will do

when he finds out I've stolen his food.

He'll probably be really, really...angry, and bite me.

I'm not angry.

-Why?

-I've just eaten your pizza.

-And they're not meatballs.

-What are they?

-Dog food.

That's that, then. There's no getting out of this.

-You won't change your mind and run with me?

-Ooh! I've got no trainers.

-And me feet'd be cut to ribbons.

-Fair enough.

Wait! Cut to ribbons.

Let's get this straight. You mistook a washing machine for a lawnmower,

-now your sports kit's in hundreds of pieces?

-Afraid so.

But at least my dishes won't need mowing for a while.

-Why not borrow someone else's kit?

-Because, er...no-one has any.

-I checked with all the guys.

-You only checked with the guys?

-Well, yeah.

Clarabelle, get me...Big Bertha.

Come on, Digby. What do you say?

-Thank you, sir.

-Not at all, though it's not me you should be thanking.

It's Big Bertha. She's a very generous woman.

Sweaty, but generous. Now, listen. I want you to CRUSH this record!

-It'll be a great story.

-Will you be mad if I don't?

-Course not.

-Oh, d'you mean that?

-Course not.

-Wait.

How about we wish you luck with one of my amazing magic tricks?

Oh, for the last time, Hacker!

-You can do magic?

-Yeah.

-Why not say so in the first place, man?

-Dog.

-Dog.

Now, I'm going to wave my magic wand, say my magic rhyme,

and all of a sudden, the two of you will be free!

Stuck together by a magic force,

I set them free without even using a horse!

Stuck together by a magic force,

I set them free without even using a horse. Ay!

Neh, ni... Ugh!

Oh...budgies.

What? Yes. Yes! We're stuck in handcuffs.

I know it's not a fire.

The Fire Brigade doesn't just do fires, does it?

If it was a Fire And Getting People Out Of Handcuffs Brigade, I'd...

Hello? Hello?! Ugh!

-No joy?

-She said they couldn't get here for six hours, then hung up.

Come on, Hacker. You've got to remember how to do it.

You said the clue's in the rhyme - it tells you how to do the trick.

-You put it in in case you forgot.

-But now I can remember the rhyme,

-but not what the clue means.

-Oh!

I'll never be able to break that record now. Ooh!

Don't you worry, Digby. I know how much that run means to you.

If Hacker and the Fire Brigade can't free us, I'll do it myself.

Hold that a minute.

THEY GRUNT

No.

Just... Give us the thing, and then I...

-Ugh!

-Ooh!

-Yay!

-Ooh!

-Ooh!

-Ooh!

Looks like you were right, Digby.

-You're not doing the fun run after all.

-Really?

-Yeah.

You're not doing it. WE are.

-This is ridiculous! We can't run 10km like this.

-We can and we will.

I know what it means to you to break the record for us,

and I won't be the one to stop it.

I can't breathe.

-What are they doing?

-Ooh!

-I'll get in first.

No, no, no. You budge over. We'll swap when I get in.

-Come on.

-Ooh!

-That's it.

PARP!

I've got it. That way.

Go on, Digby.

-Watch the gear stick.

-Ooh!

That's it.

-Ooh!

-Come on, Hacker.

-Hacker!

SPLASHING

-Are we there yet?

-Try and remember how to open these cuffs.

Hang on! It's telling me I need to find a horse magician

to set you free.

-A horse magician?

-You don't think "horse" is only in there

cos you couldn't think of anything else to rhyme with "force"?

Oh, yeah!

-Start the engine.

-Are we there yet?

Where is everyone?

The race started 20 minutes ago. You'll have to catch up. Get out.

The lock.

Oh! Here.

The sunroof!

-HE GRUNTS

-Oh! Stop!

Oh! Ugh!

-I know! The windows.

-Windows, yes. Yes.

Stop it, stop it! Oh, you klutz!

Push me. Please, please, push me!

Ooh! Now you, Max.

Stop, stop!

Oh, well.

I guess I'll just have to do the race next year instead.

Psst! If you want Digby to break the record, there's one thing to try.

-Is there?

-Yeah.

HACKER WHISPERS

MAX CHUCKLES

That's brilliant!

What is?

HE CACKLES

I'm so tired! I'm so tired, I...

I'm not fit enough for this.

I'm going to die. I'll never make it to the end. I'm so t...

Wait a minute. Am I?

Actually, I'm all right. I don't feel tired. I feel fine.

Maybe I like running and I've just never given it a proper try.

This is great! Look at me, guys. Look - I can run!

I CAN RUN! Ha-ha!

Whoo!

-ENGINE CUTS OUT

-Oh, no!

It's going to be fine. We're almost there.

-I'm connected to a stationary car!

-We're ahead of record schedule.

-All you have to do is cross that line and victory is mine!

-Yours?!

-Ours.

-Mine!

-Ours. Come on, fur ball. What about that magic trick?

-I'm trying. And don't talk to me like that.

-Like what?

Like I'm some kind of...animal.

You are. You're a dog.

-Good point.

-There's nothing for it, Digworth.

I'll take the brake off. You pull us across that line.

-I can't do that!

-Yes, you can. All you need is some motivation.

Moose, moose! Arriba, arriba!

# I don't know but I've been told... #

Come on!

HE GRUNTS

No, no. It's no good. No good. Have to think of another plan.

I know! I'll make the car less heavy! Of course!

-But they're my emergency treats!

-Come on.

-Any better?

-No!

I can't even go home. Thanks to Magic Mutt, we're locked together.

Of all the people to be stuck to.

No offence. You don't exactly have a magnetic personality, Digworth.

-Say that again.

-Digworth.

-No, back a bit.

-Offence?

-Forward.

-Personality?

-Back.

-Exactly?

-Forward.

-Have a?

No. You said "magnetic".

-Did I?

-Yeah.

-Why d'you want me to say it again?

-That's it - the trick.

The magic force I mentioned in the rhyme.

It means the force of magnetism!

I just need to wave a magnet over the cuffs and the lock should open.

Give it here.

We did it! We did it! Ha-ha-ha!

Mwah!

Oh, pfft, pfft.

-Come on. Run, Digby, run. You can do it!

-No energy left.

This is useless. I blame myself. Though, obviously, I'll sack him.

Wait! If the magnet worked on the locks of the handcuffs,

I wonder it might also work on the door.

We did it! We did it! Ha-ha-ha!

Give me a hand, Digby. Come on, there's still time.

-Come on, big fella. Here we go. Come on. You can do this.

-Leave me alone.

-I believe in you. Come on!

-I don't want to.

-I believe in you, Digby.

-I don't believe in me. No. No.

-What you doing?

-No! I don't want to!

Whoa-oh! Meh...

-You can do it!

-I can't.

-Come on, big fella.

DIGBY GROANS

MAX CHEERS

Yay!

In your face, losers.

Ha-ha-ha! The Pilbury Post has broken your record, once again.

# We are the champions, my friend

-BOTH:

-# And we'll keep on fighting till the end

-MUSIC PLAYS

-# We are the champions... #

HACKER CLEARS THROAT, MUSIC STOPS

What?

Yeah, what?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow!

-Yeah. "Fun Run tomorrow."

-But why? How?

Somebody changed all the calendars, remember?

-"So we're always a day ahead of our rivals."

-Oh, yeah!

-But I...

-Don't you worry about it. I'll see you at the start line.

-And remember - I want that record broken.

-I can't.

-I really can't!

-Get a good sleep, eat spinach, you'll be fine.

-Now, I'm going to call you a cab.

-I can't!

-VOICE ECHOES:

-'Call you a cab. Cab. Cab. Cab, cab, cab.'

No, you're right. I'll be fine.

I'll be fine!

Because I can do this.

I CAN DO THIS!

No need to shout. I'm only standing here.

Ah, now let's see if young Digby managed to pull it off. Ha-ha-ha!

Ooh, this could really shut those twerps at The Gilbury Gazette up.

"Digby breaks record." Yes! Whoo-hoo!

"But only because he secretly takes a cab." The little cheat took a cab.

-ECHOING YELL:

-Digby Digwor-rrrth!

HACKER WHISTLES

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]

# S-C-O-O-P! #