Come In Digby Your Time's Up Scoop

# Time is running out

# Stories to be found

# What's it all about?

# Got to go and check around

# If there's a rumour going round

# Don't you forget it

# Wherever something's going down

# Got to get that scoop

# Got to get that scoop

# Got to get that scoop

# Got to get that S-C-O-O-P. #

I tell you, Hacker. You'll always find Digby D Digworth around

when there's breaking news.

-Why, what have you broken now?

-Who said I've broken anything?

Just a feeling.

Right. You download the paper and I'll get breakfast ready.

And as a special treat...

-..toasted salami sandwiches. He-he.

-Ooh!

Ah!

Wa-ya-haaaa!

Grrrrrr! Ah!

Nom nom nom. He-he-he.

Right, let's look at my hold-the-front-page story

about the man who found a sweetie on the pavement.

COMPUTER BINGS Ah. They didn't hold the front page.

I don't think Max values my ace reporting.

-Sometimes, I think he just wants to get rid of me.

-Yeah.

-No! No!

I'm just overreacting. I'm sure Max isn't going to sack me. He-he-he.

-Digby, you're sacked.

-Told you.

-No!

-You just don't bring in enough news.

No! Please! Please, don't fire me, I'm begging you.

-I've got a wife and kids at home.

-Grrr?

They're not mine.

-They wandered in to watch TV. Now they refuse to leave.

-All right.

I'll give you one last chance. You mess this up and you're out.

I want you to do a front page spread of Annie's Antiques.

-Isn't that the oldest shop in Pilbury?

-That's right, it is.

In fact, it's so old it's an antique antique shop. Ha-ha. Get it?

Antiques? Old? My beloved Auntie Annie runs it now.

I love the place. It means the world to Annie. Oh, Auntie Annie.

So sweet, gentle, kind.

-Despite that I still like her.

-She sounds lovely.

-Yeah, she is.

She's getting old. I'm a bit worried.

When I told her that, for her 70th, I'd run a story about her shop,

she said something completely and utterly bonkers.

What did she say?

She said she wanted Digby D Digworth to write it!

-Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

-Hacker!

-What?

Max's aunt is not cuckoo. She has excellent taste.

Given your reputation, Digby,

I'm loathe to send you to an antique shop. Particularly a family concern.

-You are accident prone, after all.

-Accident prone? Not me.

-You broke that mug this morning.

-Yes, that was an accident, Hacker.

-We're right on it, Max.

-This is your last chance, Digworth.

CRASH!

Oh, budgies!

Wahoo!

Ha-ha-ha!

-Are we nearly there yet, Digby?

-No!

Quieten down, Fluffball. No need for all that racket.

Here comes your saucer of milk.

Lovely warm milkins for my favourite cat.

There you are, that's it. You drink it all up.

Every last drop.

Not long now till you'll be living in luxury.

You see, Annie has a plan. All I need...

..is someone to help me.

At last! Digby D Digworth.

Can I help you, you incredibly attractive and dashing young man?

-Oh, me!

-Cuckoo!

-Stop it, Hacker.

I'm Digby D Digworth. You said you wanted me to write your story

for the Pilbury Post, so here I am.

Oh, my goodness! I don't believe it. Imagine!

THE Digby Digworth in the flesh.

Quite a lot of flesh.

-Who said that?

-I'm sorry. This is my faithful assistant.

Oh, what a beautiful cat!

-Cat?!

-Er, yes! Yes. Ha-ha! His name is Hacker.

-Be nice, Hacker, she's old!

-Mwaah!

Oh, you adorable fluffy-wuffy winkie-woo!

I've got just the thing for a hungry cutie-putie moggy, like you!

Some nice fish.

Tell her, I'm not a cat. I'm not eating old lady fish.

That'll upset her. Remember, my job's on the line.

-Grrrrr.

-All right, I'll tell her!

Here we are. Lovely prime salmon steak.

-Oooh!

-The thing is, Annie, you see, Hacker's not a cat.

Miaow!

Purr. Purr. Miaow.

Not a cat you're likely to forget in a hurry.

Oh, yes, like my Fluffball over here.

But he's stuffed.

-Oh, yes, he is stuffed.

-I'm glad you noticed.

Very stuffed. Fluffball has quite the appetite.

Buuuuuurp!

Oh! My goodness! Your cat is stuffed, as well.

Ho-ho-ho!

Yes. Look, Annie, I bought you these flowers.

What a wonderful, thoughtful person you are, Digby.

Things couldn't be going better. She loves me!

I'll put them in the vase for you. You have lovely things in this shop.

-Beautiful and delicate.

-Yes.

-Highly breakable.

-Don't you worry about breakable things.

-Really?

-No-one is coming in and breaking your valuables

while Digby D Digworth is around. Do you know why?

-CRASH!

-Oh!

Because you've already broken them?

Heavens to Betsy! My beautiful antiques! Destroyed!

Oh, dear. You better send me the bill.

-You have got my address?

-No.

-Good, let's go, Hacker!

-Yeah.

Come on, Hacker!

Soon, everything in this shop will be smashed to pieces.

And I can finally open my sanctuary for cats.

That didn't go as well as expected. Chalk it up to experience

and put antique shops on the list of places I'm not to go anywhere near.

Zoos, greenhouses, museums, Australia. I'll put it there.

Antique shops. OK. Off we go.

But tell Max you smashed her plates and you'll get the sack.

Give me your hand. Come on. Let's sort it out.

-Apologise, now, you can do it.

-I am very, very sorry.

If there's anything I can do to make it up,

anything, anything at all,

apart from synchronised swimming, I will do it.

There is a good way you can help me.

BOTH: Yes?

By drumming up new business.

That's fantastic, you see, because I am a champion roller skater.

-Really?

-At least, I'm sure I will be.

-Once I've actually tried it. Anything to keep my job, Hacker.

-Yeah.

Gulp!

Do you need a hand getting out, Digby?

No, no, Annie. You can rely on me.

Uh-oh!

CRASH!

Ahh! CLATTER

SMASH! TINKLE! CRASH!

Ha-ha-ha!

Rats, he missed the shelves!

-Hmm?

-Come along, Hacker.

Aaaaaah!

Aaaa-oh-aaaaa!

Burger! Can I have a...

..burger with...

Aa-aa-aa-aa-aa!

..tomato sauce, please!

Aa-aa-aa-aa-aa!

Thank you!

Aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa!

Aaaaaaah! CLANG!

Aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa!

Aaaah! CRASH!

Oh, budgies!

-Oh!

-I'm sure it's not as bad as it looks.

Anyway. Look on the bright side! At least I kept me burger safe.

This grandfather clock is the only thing in the entire shop

that hasn't been destroyed.

Max wants it in his office.

I think we all need a nice, strong cup of tea.

-How does that sound?

-Smashing.

No, no! I mean, great. Great.

Let's hope, when I get back,

Max's precious clock hasn't been smashed into a million pieces.

-He-he.

-Ha-ha!

-Aha-ha-ha!

-Ha-ha.

HA-HA-HA-HA!

What a lovely, tinkly laugh Annie has. Such a sweet old dear.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Right. I had better keep an eye on Max's clock.

Because if that gets damaged, I will get fired. No doubt about it.

-Just stay away from it.

-I'm only having a look!

Don't make things any worse.

Fascinating. All these bits and pieces just to tell the time.

I prefer to tell the time the ancient Navajo way, myself.

Using a wristwatch. Dropped it!

-What?

-My burger.

-It's all right. I think I can reach it.

-Noooo!

There, got it.

You're such a worrywart, Hacker. I know what I'm doing.

I'm hardly going to damage the one thing that can keep me in a job.

Only a complete idiot would do that. CREAK

CLANG!

I know. Hmm?

AAAAAH!

Huhhhh!

CLANG! It'll be fine.

See? Sounds as good as new, don't you think?

Oh, no. Max is going to be furious!

-I can't think repairing an old clock is that hard.

-Uh-oh.

-No.

No, I just have to...gently...shift...

..this piece of mechanism, I reckon, over...to there.

Gently swing this even more delicate looking piece of machinery,

over there, and then...

CLANG! ..voila!

BOING!

There's only one thing for it.

Tea's up, Mr Digby.

Oh! Where's he gone?

-Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Tick-tock.

-Oh!

The time's gone ten o'clock!

The clock should have chimed by now.

I'll do it. Ahem.

Bing-bong, bing-bong, bong, bongily bong.

Ba-hoooooong!

-KNOCKING

-Come in.

Poor old dear. Hasn't got a clue we're in here.

CREAKING AND CLATTERING

All my beautiful antiques destroyed.

Well done, Digby.

How'd I know the door only opens from outside?

We won't be stuck here forever. Max'll be back soon.

We've got to keep doing clock noises, or he'll know you broke his clock.

-I broke it?

-I'm glad you admit it.

-Ah! I'm not having that!

-Shh.

Oh. Look at the craftsmanship.

Absolutely superb.

What? Not keeping very good time, though, is it?

CLICKING

Tick-tock, tick-tock, ow!

Tick-tock, ow! Tick-tock. Stop it!

Tick-tock, ow! Tick-tock, ow! Tick-tock, ow! Tick...That hurts!

Ah. Oh, look. A speaking grandfather clock.

Bongity bong bong bong.

Booooong!

-What time is it now?

-It's lunch time.

Must be. It's lunch time, everyone, That's lunch, thank you.

There's only one person that thinks lunch

is half past ten in the morning.

Oh, yes. I know exactly what time it is.

Time I did something very nasty to Digby Digworth.

Annie told me what you did to my family's shop.

-Totally destroyed it!

-No, I didn't.

-You smashed it up!

-Other than that, it was all right.

-You're fired.

Get your hat and get out.

Never darken my carpet again.

Ohhh.

I darkened his carpets.

You can see how I've let myself go, Hacker.

It's only been 15 minutes since Max sacked you.

Yes, but do you know what?

I'm going to show Max what a big mistake he made.

-After all, there's plenty of other jobs I can do.

-Like what?

-Like...

..lots of things!

No, you're right. You're right.

I was born to be a great reporter and that's all I'll ever be.

I need to persuade Max to take me back,

and I think I know just how to do it.

-Apologise to Annie and get your job back?

-Yes!

It'll be such a heart felt apology.

It'll be better than the last one

and better than the one before that.

You see, some men were born to climb mountains

and other men were born to fly space rockets,

but Digby D Digworth was born to say sorry.

-THUMP

-Ah!

-I'm sorry.

Really sorry. I'm truly sorry.

You've still got it, Digby. You've still got it!

Goodness, gracious. I didn't expect to see you again.

-Here I am!

-It's lovely to see you little fluffy kittykins.

I've brought you some special cat treats. Mwa mwa!

Pthh! Urgh.

A hairball.

I am so very sorry for the trouble I've caused you, Annie.

-Max said what the shop means to you.

-Of course.

You left me with no choice. I've got to close it down.

No! Close the shop?

You won't tell Max to give me my job back, now.

-Oh, yes, of course I'll do that.

-You will?

Then you'd have to be the kindest, sweetest person I've ever met.

I take back everything I said

-about old ladies in the Post Office.

-There's just one thing.

-Anything.

Anything at all. You name it.

Your lovely Hacker.

What, you want to keep my dog, er, I mean, cat?

-Gulp!

-Oh, yes. He'll be much happier here with me and Fluffball.

You can see what great friends they've become already.

-Ah! Get off!

-I can't. I couldn't.

-That would be make me very upset.

I will have to tell Max

that I think he made the right decision to sack you.

I wouldn't want to upset you. OK. You've got a deal.

-What? No! Digby!

-Goodbye, old friend.

Treat her as well as you've treated me over the years.

Bye-bye!

Look at us! One very happy family.

Digby Digworth certainly lived up to his reputation for clumsiness.

Huh?

Have I done the right thing?

It's not a decision to be taken lightly.

I don't know, I'm not sure.

All right, yes. Yes, I will definitely

have the tomato sauce. Yeah!

There. Now that is one nice hot dog. Ha-ha-ha!

A dog...

I had a dog once.

And his name...

..was Hacker.

HE SOBS

I shouldn't worry about Hacker.

He'll have a good life with Annie and never want for anything.

He'll have cat food, cat blankets, cat holidays.

Who am I kidding? I can't leave Hacker behind, he's my best friend.

And I think he likes me, too.

No, I am taking my cat ho-... I am taking my dog home.

If that means losing my job and living on the streets,

I don't care. Hacker is worth more than any job.

Even the best job in the world.

-Leap up and get your treat, Fluffball.

-Yeah, leap up, Fluffball.

BOOM!

I'm here for my dog.

Yeah!

Dog? What dog? There are no dogs here.

Yes, there is.

He's my dog.

-Come on, Hacker, we're going home.

-No, you're not.

-Woof! Woof!

-Miaow!

-Ah!

-Oh!

She wanted you to smash everything.

Don't be ridiculous.

She hates the shop.

Don't be ridiculous. Max told us how much she loves the place.

-How'd she know I'd break everything.

-Don't be ridiculous(!)

What would Max know? They're all the same, my family.

They're all convinced I love it here and I'll never retire.

But if some idiot should smash all the antiques,

then I'd have to close it down, and open up...

..Moggieland! Ah!

So, you just brought me here to break things?

-Is that it?

-Yes.

-You don't think I'm a great reporter.

Of course not. You're as useless as this vase.

-What vase?

-This one.

Oh! I'm so close to my dream of opening a cat sanctuary.

I'm not going to let some idiot like you stop me now. Get him, Fluffball!

-Attack!

-Woof!

-Aaaaah!

Look out!

-Aaah!

-CRASH!

-There's your paper, Mr De Lacey.

-Ah, excellent.

READS HEADLINE ALOUD

Digby Digworth-h-h-h-h!!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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