Nightmare Neighbour Scream Street


Nightmare Neighbour

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# He was a kid who didn't fit in

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# Got a wolf living inside under his skin

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# When he's angry his body sprouts hairs

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# So he got a ticket You'll never guess where

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# Scream, scream, scream When you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream When you get to Scream Street... #

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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# Next door's a vampire, maybe not

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# 4,000 years old but her body won't rot

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# Yeah! Being a freak is totally normal

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# When everyone's freaky paranormal

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# Scream, scream, scream When you get to Scream Street

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# Scream, scream, scream When you get to Scream Street

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# Scream Street, Scream Street! #

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EVIL LAUGH

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LOUD ROCK MUSIC

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"Fangs" very much!

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What on earth is going on?

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Sorry, Mrs Negative.

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No, I mean it's nowhere near loud enough.

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I can't hear it downstairs.

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Luke, you're welcome to sleep over or better still stay up all night.

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Have some fun.

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Your parents are so wild.

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So, are you going to stay?

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No can do, tonight is family night at my house.

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I've got a nasty feeling Dad has invented another board game.

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Oh! Nightmare!

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SPLUTTERING SOUND

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Dodgy plumbing.

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Bye, Mr and Mrs Negative, got to go.

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Really, Luke? The night is young.

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Oh!

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BOTH: Oh!

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Ah, good girl.

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Please don't let it be board games,

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please don't let it be board games, please don't let it be...

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Board games!

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LUKE SIGHS

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Luke, I call this one Land Of Confusion.

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What happens when I land on the base of befuddlement?

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Do I move forward or backwards a space?

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-Sideways.

-I'm so confused.

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Luke, you can be green.

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Luke? Luke?

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'Luke, family board games are compulsory, and don't pretend

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'you've broken your arm again.

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'And I checked, you haven't got any homework!

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'And I bolted the window.'

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LUKE SIGHS

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-'Luke!'

-I'll be down in a second. Looking forward to it.

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HE GRUNTS

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And what happens if I land on the puddle of blood?

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Honey, Land Of Confusion is a totally bloodless game!

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Uh?

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Argh!

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The ceiling's bleeding!

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Right, let's get started.

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Oh, no, is there a massive blood leak?

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Oh, dear, looks like games are off, then.

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So, I might go and hang out with Rhesus, then, I suppose.

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Stop right there.

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If I've got to put up with this, then so do you.

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We'll just call a plumber.

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RUSTLING NOISE

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That's odd.

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Argh!

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'Ooh! Ew!'

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Not just rats, vampire rats.

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Hi! Sorry to bother you but we seem to have a small rat problem.

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The problem is they're vampires.

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-What?

-Not that being vampires is a problem. Big fan.

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You'd better come in.

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Looks like board games night is off.

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Dinner time!

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HE SCREAMS

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Sounds like your dad's having fun(!)

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It will be good for him, and Mum.

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Staying here should loosen them up a bit.

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HE WHIMPERS

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There you are, come and help me set the table.

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Knives, knives...knives.

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And here's the fork.

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Ah...

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I made sure the beef was well done,

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just the way you normals like it.

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BEEF GROWLS

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Argh, ha-ha-ha!

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Ah!

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Oh!

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Well, isn't this nice?

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Morning, darling.

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CREATURE HISSES

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Argh!

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CREATURE SNIGGERS

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How did you sleep?

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Argh!

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I think he's feeling better!

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I'd rather take my chances with the vampire rats!

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Oh!

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Scream Street pest control.

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We heard you had a problem.

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-Hi, Mr Watson.

-You're the pest controllers?

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-Sure.

-No blood for the vampire rats to suck on.

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We also have no heart, liver, intestines, kidneys...

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Shall I show you?

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Argh!

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I think he gets the idea.

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Nice hat, Cleo.

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I think I've caught the pest.

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Don't worry, I'll have this sorted in no time.

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Ha-ah!

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Your common vampire rat might look dangerous but it's not really.

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The rat you do want to watch out for is the...

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Whoa!

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That is a lot of vampire rats.

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Time to get serious.

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THEY GASP

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I know an old tune that these rats can't resist.

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Oh, now that IS cruel to animals!

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That's my girl. She'll lead 'em right to the underlands.

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Eurgh.

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Right, I've turned off the blood supply so it won't get any worse.

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Now all we need is industrial quantities of disinfectant.

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There's some in the cupboard.

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As I was saying, your common vampire rat isn't dangerous.

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The rat you really don't want to bite you is... Oh, erm...

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-'Ow!'

-Are you OK?

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SHE SCREECHES

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HE SCREAMS

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The king vampire rat, that's the one.

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SHE SCREECHES

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How was I supposed to know blood spillages attract vampire rats?

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Yeah, because otherwise smashing through a pipe

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just to avoid a board game makes perfect sense(!)

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SUE SCREECHES

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DAD SCREAMS

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SUE SCREECHES

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Mum?!

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You said your parents were boring!

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Don't worry, there's a cure.

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'Great, what is it?'

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Er... I don't remember.

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Something to do with the king rat.

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Luke, find Cleo and bring that king rat back - quickly!

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Isn't Cleo about to get rid of all those rats forever?

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I know!

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Come on!

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-HE GROANS

-Giddy-up!

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SHE SCREECHES

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-Oh!

-Ah!

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OH!

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Nice wife. Nice wife.

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Nice, terrifying wife!

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SHE SCREECHES

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Ah-ha, Niles, we did it!

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SCREECH

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-Niles?

-Mike, I think I'm on the wrong side.

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SHE SCREECHES

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Ow! She bit me. I'm going to need a bandage.

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Come on, then, keep going, the lot of you!

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-Oh, that tickles!

-You're an ugly one, aren't you?

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Hey!

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King rat. Mum, fangs.

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Argh!

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Honestly! I'm away for five minutes!

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And if you don't cure Sue by nightfall,

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she'll stay like she is forever!

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What is it about nightfall?

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SUE SCREECHES

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But look, to be cured, all she needs to do is bite the king rat back.

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Oh...!

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One king rat coming up.

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'Dad!'

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Oh!

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The sun's going down so we've only got one shot at this, get ready.

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ALL: Oh!

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Sorry, dry lips.

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Eh? Ah!

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Ah!

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He's here!

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Hmm! Hmm!

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One, two, two and a half...

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Dad!

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Three.

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SHE SCREECHES

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Eurgh!

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SHE GASPS

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SUE SCREECHES

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Oh, snout beetle!

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KING RAT SCREECHES

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On the whole, I'd rather be playing board games!

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Chew on that!

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Awesome!

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Luke Watson, did you intentionally flood your room with blood?

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Can we talk about this later?

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SHE PLAYS A TUNE

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SHE BLOWS HARD

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KING RAT SCREECHES

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DAD WHIMPERS

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Ah!

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SUE SCREECHES

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Honey, er... Care for a nibble?

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Now, Dad!

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KING RAT SCREECHES

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Bleurgh.

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SHE SCREECHES

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Eh?

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Did it work?

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BOTH: Oh!

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Luke Watson, did you flood your room with blood?

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You are SO grounded.

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HE SIGHS

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Yep, it worked all right.

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SHE PLAYS A TUNE

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You know, Luke, your parents actually are pretty wild.

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Yeah, I guess they are.

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How about we all celebrate with a board game?

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Five is the perfect number for Land Of Confusion.

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BOTH: Ah!

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All right, Dad, I'll be green.

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Yes!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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